Episode 4 Holding Back the Years


Episode 4

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Transcript


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-Everything has an impact on your life...

-Whatever your age.

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'From the type of house we live in...'

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Ooh, this looks nice.

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Yes, it's been completely renovated throughout.

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To how much money we have to spend.

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Your wage ends up being like a normal working wage, which is good.

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What we put in our bodies...

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I don't think I've ever been "fat" fat, but I have put weight on.

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'To the secrets of our genetic make-up...'

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You are going to live to be 140.

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That'll do, I'll take everything I can get!

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So, finding out about all those things and more could help you

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-mature brilliantly.

-Or slow down the ageing process just a little.

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We've tracked down the very best tips and advice for holding back the years.

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And now, with the help of our team,

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we're going to pass them on to you,

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to show you how to have the time of your life...

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Whenever that may be.

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Hello, and welcome to the show that wants you to be bolder...

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About growing older!

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Here's what we have for you today.

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It's been described as a national epidemic in old age,

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but help might be just a simple call away.

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Fiona investigates how loneliness is being tackled in Lancashire.

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When Paddy died, I thought that my life had ended at that point.

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I wanted it to end at that point, I didn't want to go on without him.

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It's almost like you've got a new life now, going forward.

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I have, yes, yes.

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Dr Rangan Chatterjee, our resident GP,

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is here to tell you how sleep is one of the great pillars when it comes

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to holding back the years.

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If I haven't had enough sleep, then I just want to cry,

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but if I can have five hours' sleep, then I'm more positive.

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-I just deal with it.

-And Nicki Chapman finds out the upside when it

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comes to downsizing your home.

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I'm looking at it in wonder, because it is so peaceful, so tranquil,

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and then in the back of the head, something's saying to me,

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"that's an awful lot of work".

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That's why we moved!

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Now, you may have seen that the Government has recently appointed

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its first-ever Minister for Loneliness.

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It's in recognition of what many people see as a national emergency.

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But making sure our grandparents, parents or even ourselves aren't

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lonely is something that can't just be left to those at the top.

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Well, thankfully, one part of the country is leading the way when it

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comes to people power, so we gave them a visit.

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It's estimated that in excess of 1 million people over the age of 65

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in the UK are chronically lonely.

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There's even a loneliness map of Britain, compiled from recent

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statistics, which shows that the

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most socially isolated place in the entire country is here -

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in Lancashire.

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And one lady who knows what it's like to live with loneliness is

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Christine Marley from Blackpool.

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Christine, just tell me what the last five and a half years have been

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like, since your Paddy died.

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-He was the love of your life, wasn't he?

-Oh, God, yeah,

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he was my soul mate.

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And I thought at first it was just the grief that was getting to me.

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-Yeah.

-But it was like a real pain.

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I had a good family and I had friends, but there was long,

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long hours when I was completely on my own.

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The last five years, I haven't had to give up fighting that feeling.

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Nothing replaces that one person in your life.

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Paddy used to hold my hand, and he'd never let me go anywhere without

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holding me by the hand. Made me feel so safe, you know?

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So I felt unsafe and scared and frightened and vulnerable.

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Having friends and family in her life,

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Christine may have been luckier than most, but inevitably

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you have to cope with stretches of time when you're on your own.

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How long could you go without seeing anyone?

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At the beginning, it wasn't too bad.

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I was getting visitors regularly, in a way,

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but...but then I'd have long periods where there'd be,

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I'd not see anybody. I'd have the television on all day.

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It helps with the loneliness sometimes.

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That's right. Well, it's those hours after tea were the worst.

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From about five, six o'clock till you go to bed at night, and, I mean,

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there have been times when I've been watching the clock and thinking,

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"What's a decent time to go to bed?"

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because I just wanted to draw a line under the day.

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It's estimated half of people aged 75 and over live alone,

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with many saying they can go days, even weeks

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without speaking to anyone at all.

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People need to understand what it's like.

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You can be stood next to an old lady at the bus stop and you'll roll your

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eyes and think, "Oh, God, she's told me her life story while

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"I've been stood here, let me get away".

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But that old lady's probably going home and not seeing anybody for

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-seven days.

-Yeah.

-You know?

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And you're the only contact she's had for a week.

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And it's so true. Christine wasn't alone in being alone.

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She's since come out the other side, though,

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and joined a social group, Just Good Friends,

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where otherwise isolated people can get together.

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Well, the atmosphere when we walked in was amazing.

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-I thought, "Oh, my goodness, is this Good Friends?!"

-Yeah, yeah.

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You know, it was an incredible, real buzz about the place.

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-That's right.

-What does it mean to you?

-By coming to somewhere like this,

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you can talk to people who are just in the same boat as you,

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who feel exactly the same way as you,

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so they understand, almost without you having to say anything,

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how you're feeling. You know, it's a lot of people who are lonely,

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all getting together and helping each other.

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And you can't feel lonely while you've got all this going on.

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No. As soon as you walk through that door, you don't feel lonely.

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And with a quarter of all people in the local area living alone,

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groups like this have become vital to helping people like Christine

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move forward.

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But, you know, from where you were when your husband died,

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and after, and all that loneliness that you felt, to where you are now,

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do you think that this has been a real life-saver for you?

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Oh, it was. Well, it was a trigger,

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because when Paddy died, I thought that my life had ended at that

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point. I wanted it to end at that point.

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I didn't want to go on without him.

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It's almost like you've got a new life, now, going forward.

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I have, yes, yes.

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And suddenly I'd walk into the room, and within seconds they'd have their

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arms around me and a cup of tea in my hand and there was somebody there

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to listen to me.

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He'd be so pleased to see you sitting here today, talking nonstop,

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-by the way!

-LAUGHTER

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Well, you know, it was so good to see Christine

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looking as proud as Punch in the middle of everyone there today,

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and to see just the general atmosphere in the room,

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full of happiness and looking forward, rather than looking back.

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Of course, not everyone's as comfortable with being as sociable

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as Christine and the gang at Just Good Friends.

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In fact, it's thought that for two fifths of all older people

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the television is their main company.

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So, what's the answer for them?

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I've come along to The Silver Line,

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a 24-hour phone service that allows anyone who's feeling lonely to call

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-for a chat.

-No problem. You know what? We all do, don't we?

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-No, I can understand that.

-How many have you read this week?

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Meeting me today is chief executive, Sophie Andrews.

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What do you do here at Silver Line?

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We've got the 24-hour free confidential helpline,

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which is where we are here today.

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People ring all day and all night with all different problems,

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sometimes for information about local services, sometimes to report abuse.

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Sometimes they want a chat and just want to have a listening ear.

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What unites many of the people who call is the fact that they have

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no-one else to turn to.

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We have received over 1.5 million calls, and those calls

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come from all over the UK.

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So, the age range from 55 up, but most people who call us are over 75.

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It's not necessarily about living on your own.

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Some people, it would be their worst nightmare to live with someone else,

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but it's more about if you've lost a partner, if you've lost a pet,

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if you've lost your driving licence, if you've lost your mobility.

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If there's been some sort of significant change,

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that can really tip things for people.

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There's a large body of medical evidence now which suggests that

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people who are lonely are more at risk of depression,

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high blood pressure, and also have lower resistance to disease.

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Particularly for over 75s, it's a real issue -

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more dangerous than smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

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There's huge health impacts. It's probably a stiff upper lip

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generation, so a whole generation of people who don't want to be

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a burden, don't want to bother people.

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We want to hear from you. We're here, so please ring us.

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With almost a quarter of over-75-year-olds who live alone

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going days without human contact, what is it we can all do to help?

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So, where are you going to go for your shopping?

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So, the problem is growing, what can we do about it?

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It's simple human connections.

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So, how often do we ever look out for our neighbours,

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talk to people in the street? We're all in such a rush,

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and what we're doing at The Silver Line is very simple.

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People will call up for a chat, quite a lot of laughter here,

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as well, call up and tell us a few jokes.

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But it's very, very simple what we do here. We offer that ear 24 hours.

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And today I got the chance to offer an ear myself,

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and, with the person's permission, share the call with you.

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-Hi, Betty?

-'Hello, yeah.'

-Hello, how are you?

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'Not too bad, thank you.'

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Good. So, what's day-to-day life for you like now, Betty?

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-'Lonely, but I have the garden.'

-How lonely do you get?

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What makes you pick up the phone to Silver Line?

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'I lost my husband ten years ago, and sometimes, you know, at

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'sort of one o'clock in the morning, I haven't been to sleep.

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'I have got a family, but I don't like to worry them.'

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Yeah, I think a lot of people feel that way,

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but that's why Silver Line's there, because everyone's busy now,

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aren't they? And I know how difficult it must be when you're on

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your own and, you know, there's a long day ahead sometimes, isn't there?

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'Well, thank you for talking to me. It's lovely to hear from you.'

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-Yeah, you too. All the very best.

-'All right.'

-Bye.

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Ooh!

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You can see how much Silver Line means to Betty.

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Bless her, she seems a cheerful soul when she's talking to you,

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but she clearly misses her husband, who's been gone for ten years now,

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and her night-times don't sound

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ideal, either, and that's when she phones.

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For many people, loneliness comes about not just with the death of

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a spouse, but when children move far away or they lose touch with grandkids,

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which is why the final initiative I want to introduce you to here in Lancashire is so inspirational.

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-What have you done?

-I'm going to carry on doing the butterfly.

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Anybody want this pretty pink?

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It features the Girl Guides,

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who now have the chance to win a special badge for helping combat

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loneliness. And at the Boat Lane Court accommodation in Manchester,

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the girls are doing exactly that, and they're loving it!

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-You just dab your finger down...

-And then, like that...

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It seems as though you're enjoying yourself.

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Yeah, we all come here and we get to do all crafts and stuff.

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How much do you like coming here?

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It's just, like, really nice, seeing all the old people, like,

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-making all friends.

-And have you learned anything from them?

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Yeah, I've learnt how good they are at art.

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You can do a lot when you're older and when you're younger.

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Even when you're older, you can have a lot of fun.

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And by the looks of things,

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it's not only the children having fun around here.

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You look as though you're enjoying yourself, Mike?

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I'm having a ball, actually.

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-Yeah.

-Some of the things they're saying, you go, "Wow, a totally different view!"

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Yeah. So you're learning as much from them as they are from you,

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-really, yeah?

-Definitely.

-We've been playing noughts and crosses and I've

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told them how to win at the game instead of getting beaten.

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-I hope you haven't told them how to cheat.

-No, I never cheat!

-LAUGHTER

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If you're feeling lonely, then there are ways of getting help.

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Sometimes it's just a call away,

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so check the phone book or maybe go online for a number.

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Registered volunteers of all ages are out there if you want to get in

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touch with them. And remember, you're actually not alone -

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there are people feeling the same, and they're up for a chat, too,

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-maybe a really, really long one.

-LAUGHTER

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You'll have heard the old saying, "Life begins at 40".

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Well, our in-house GP thinks it

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might actually begin with 40 winks, too.

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Easier said than done, sometimes.

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Here's Dr Rangan Chatterjee on why a lack of proper sleep

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is unfortunately uniting the generations.

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As night falls, it should be time to rest,

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but sleep researchers believe that we're getting 1-2 hours less sleep

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a night than we did 60 years ago, and that's causing us major issues.

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In fact, I believe that sleep is the single most undervalued component

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of our health, no matter what your age,

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and sleep deprivation has now reached epidemic levels.

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It's a problem on two levels -

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as both a cause of health issues as we get older,

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increasing our risk for conditions like type 2 diabetes,

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problems with our immune system and even obesity,

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but it can also be a symptom of other underlying conditions,

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like Alzheimer's.

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I've come to the Sleep Research Centre at the University of Surrey,

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where I'm meeting 70-year-old Beverly Stratford,

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who is concerned about her own sleep habits.

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Beverley, just how bad is your sleep?

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If I got to sleep by about 11:45, I invariably wake up two hours later,

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absolutely wide awake.

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And then sometimes, if I've had a really bad night,

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I'll fall asleep about 7:30 and wake up at 8:30 feeling quite groggy.

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How does this disturbed sleep and then fatigue in the mornings affect

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your quality of life?

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Um, I would think it does

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make my next day very difficult.

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It makes me sluggish, and it's very hard to push myself, really,

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to do the things I really want to do.

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So, it's pretty clear that Beverley isn't getting as much sleep as she'd

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like, but what's the cause? She's got her own theory.

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My first husband died, and I think everything stemmed from that.

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So, all the things I have to deal with, the problems,

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if the car breaks down,

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it's down to me, and if I haven't had enough sleep,

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then I just want to cry.

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But if I can have five hours' sleep, then I'm more positive,

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I just deal with it.

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So, what's going on with Beverley?

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Well, there's a neat bit of kit that can help us find out.

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It's called a PSG, or polysomnography,

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and it monitors the brainwaves as we sleep,

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giving us a detailed picture of

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whether there's something more serious causing the disruption.

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In the meantime, I want to find out a bit more about the whole topic,

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and, in particular, whether there's any links between sleep problems and

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-ageing.

-Goodnight.

-The Sleep Centre's Doctor Derk-Jan Dijk is at

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the cutting edge of this research.

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Can you tell me about some of the research you've done here and looked

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at the association between sleep and ageing?

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In general, older people have less deep slow-wave sleep.

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Also, healthy older people wake up more frequently than younger people.

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Then if we look very carefully at some of the brainwaves during sleep,

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we can find that those brainwaves also change with ageing.

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MUSIC: Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics

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So, proven science, but there are

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some real misconceptions about what helps you get a good night's sleep.

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Many people think that actually having alcohol before bed

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helps them sleep. Is this true?

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Well, it certainly will help them to fall asleep,

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but after a couple of hours, when the initial effects wear off,

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it will start disrupting sleep.

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That disruptive effect of sleep is much more severe in older people.

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Is it the same with caffeine?

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Yes, there are data to show that indeed caffeine also has more,

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a stronger effect in older people compared to younger people.

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And there is one sleep dilemma that is now affecting us for the first

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time in our species' history, and it's all down to technology.

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15 years ago or so, for many of us,

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there was good demarcation between work life and home life,

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whereas now, with our phones and e-mails,

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we're all doing it seven days a week.

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I agree. That's a major change, and there is very little doubt that this

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will have an impact also on our sleep quality.

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I think that what we now know is that sleep is important.

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Sufficient sleep is important for physical health,

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sufficient sleep is important for mental health.

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Sufficient sleep is important for aspects of brain function.

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Generally, an adult up to the age of 65 needs eight or nine hours' sleep.

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-Beyond 65, the time reduces to seven or eight hours a night.

-ALARM CLOCK BEEPS

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So, with this in mind, let's find out how Beverley slept last night.

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After a quick cuppa to wake her up, it's time to see the results.

0:16:540:16:58

Giuseppe Atzori is the senior clinical research officer.

0:16:580:17:02

So, Giuseppe, you've been monitoring Beverley's sleep through the night.

0:17:020:17:06

Can you tell me what you've found?

0:17:060:17:08

So, from this black line to there is the period it took for you

0:17:080:17:12

to fall asleep. 29 minutes.

0:17:120:17:15

Now, that is acceptable, in terms of Beverley's age.

0:17:150:17:19

The older we become,

0:17:190:17:21

the less efficiently we sleep.

0:17:210:17:23

You estimate that you woke up about ten times during the night.

0:17:230:17:27

You woke up a little bit more than that.

0:17:270:17:30

It's about 20-odd times.

0:17:300:17:32

There are areas of awake here, for example,

0:17:320:17:35

that are probably about 60 seconds,

0:17:350:17:37

and we worked it out at around about an hour, an hour and a half.

0:17:370:17:40

And what sort of levels would you like to see there?

0:17:400:17:43

So, anything between 10-20 minutes.

0:17:430:17:46

-Right.

-If we take into consideration your age and your sex,

0:17:460:17:50

-you haven't done too badly.

-No, that's very, very interesting.

0:17:500:17:55

So, based upon what we're seeing here, what you've found,

0:17:550:17:57

it doesn't appear from this data that there's any primary sleep

0:17:570:18:02

disorder that might explain Beverley's sleep problems.

0:18:020:18:05

-I agree.

-I certainly think it's really good that we've managed to,

0:18:050:18:08

you know, by and large, rule that out.

0:18:080:18:10

In my own experience of seeing patients who are struggling with

0:18:100:18:15

their sleep, most times I find that there's something going on in

0:18:150:18:18

their lifestyle that they don't realise is negatively impacting their ability to sleep,

0:18:180:18:23

-and it's probably time to focus on those things with a bit more detail.

-Yes.

0:18:230:18:27

It gives you a positive start in sorting...

0:18:270:18:31

trying to sort other things out.

0:18:310:18:33

And that's exactly what we're going to do.

0:18:340:18:37

So, as night approaches, I'm going to visit Beverley at home.

0:18:370:18:41

-Hello, do come in.

-Hi, how are you doing?

0:18:410:18:43

So, how are you feeling about everything?

0:18:430:18:45

Very good, very interesting.

0:18:450:18:47

So, I thought I'd come and have a look around, if that's OK, and try

0:18:470:18:50

and figure out what I might be able to suggest to help you sleep.

0:18:500:18:53

And one thing jumps straight out at me.

0:18:530:18:56

So, how much tea do you drink?

0:18:560:18:58

Erm, four to five cups a day, ish.

0:18:580:19:01

-And what time's the last one?

-Seven o'clock.

0:19:010:19:04

I try not to drink anything after seven o'clock.

0:19:040:19:07

My rule of thumb is that most people who come see me in the practice who

0:19:070:19:10

can't sleep, I recommend that they try and stop at a hard 12 o'clock, midday.

0:19:100:19:16

Gosh! That's a long time without tea!

0:19:160:19:19

-So, is this where you spend your evenings?

-Yes, it is.

0:19:190:19:22

I see the telly's on, there's a laptop.

0:19:220:19:25

-Is that a reader?

-Yes, I've got lots of personal things to do and

0:19:250:19:28

-lots of e-mails.

-These devices, they emit blue light.

0:19:280:19:32

And blue light, really, out in nature,

0:19:320:19:34

-you only really get it in the earlier part of the day.

-Oh, OK.

0:19:340:19:37

We're not really designed to get blue light in the evenings,

0:19:370:19:40

and if you're looking at, you know, this e-reader,

0:19:400:19:43

or this laptop in the evening,

0:19:430:19:44

the blue light can often reduce levels of a hormone called

0:19:440:19:48

melatonin, and melatonin helps you sleep.

0:19:480:19:51

Now, the most important place - the bedroom.

0:19:510:19:54

I can see you've got, next to your bed here, I can see you've got a

0:19:540:19:57

-phone. Does this glow in the night?

-Yes, it does.

-Does it? That could be

0:19:570:20:01

-having an impact on your sleep, I'm afraid.

-Right.

-So, really we'd

0:20:010:20:04

encourage you to try and make this room as dark as possible.

0:20:040:20:07

So, these look pretty good, these blackout curtains.

0:20:070:20:10

-Yes.

-Do they block out all the light?

-Uh, not quite.

0:20:100:20:13

If it's a very bright moon, then there's nothing I can do with it.

0:20:150:20:19

Yeah, there's quite a lot of light, isn't there, coming out?

0:20:190:20:21

-Yes.

-What you could do, actually, it's a bit more work, but you can

0:20:210:20:26

actually get some blackout blinds fitted here, that you just

0:20:260:20:29

pull down, so you really get a nice, snug fit against the windows.

0:20:290:20:32

So, plenty that can be done. Time to sit down with Beverley.

0:20:320:20:36

So, Beverley, I think I've got a pretty good idea now of what's going on here,

0:20:360:20:40

and I've got some tips that I think are going to help you get better sleep.

0:20:400:20:44

The first thing I'd say is caffeine, OK?

0:20:440:20:46

Try and cut it back, so you're only having it in the morning.

0:20:460:20:50

Second tip, try and get outside in the morning, if you can.

0:20:500:20:53

Exposing ourselves to natural light really helps us sleep in the

0:20:530:20:56

evening. Third thing, I think you need a bedtime routine.

0:20:560:20:59

So, some people like an alarm in the evening to say,

0:20:590:21:02

"OK, now it's time to wind down for bed."

0:21:020:21:05

The fourth one is what I call a "no tech 90",

0:21:050:21:07

switching off all modern technology for around 90 minutes before bed.

0:21:070:21:12

And the final tip is, make your bedroom as dark as you can.

0:21:120:21:15

-Right, yes, I can do that.

-OK?

0:21:150:21:17

I've seen these little, simple tips help transform the sleep in my

0:21:170:21:21

patients, and I'm pretty sure that, if you can stick to quite a few of

0:21:210:21:24

-those ones, I think you will be sleeping a lot better, pretty quickly.

-Brilliant.

0:21:240:21:31

If you don't wake up feeling refreshed in the morning,

0:21:310:21:33

it can be a pretty good indication that there's something wrong with

0:21:330:21:36

either the amount or the quality of your sleep,

0:21:360:21:38

but you'll be pleased to hear that it's pretty simple to improve this.

0:21:380:21:43

And, after following these tips,

0:21:430:21:45

Beverley reports experiencing a real difference

0:21:450:21:48

in the quality of her sleep.

0:21:480:21:50

All right, time to get quizzical.

0:21:500:21:52

Just look at these clips and work out when they all took place.

0:21:520:21:55

Yeah, and the question is simple: What was the year that was?

0:21:550:22:00

So, here's how the game works.

0:22:000:22:03

We're going to give you a few key events that all happened in the

0:22:030:22:07

space of a year, but which year?

0:22:070:22:10

And here's why you should play along, by the way.

0:22:100:22:13

Psychologists have said that nostalgia can promote a sense of

0:22:130:22:16

wellbeing and vitality in us all,

0:22:160:22:19

so this really could help you hold back the years.

0:22:190:22:24

MUSIC: Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush

0:22:240:22:27

DEMONSTRATORS CHANT

0:22:300:22:34

-What do we want?

-Fair pay.

-When do we want it?

-Now!

0:22:340:22:37

There's quite a crowd gathered outside here, and the neighbours

0:22:470:22:50

have been extremely tolerant of the comings and goings

0:22:500:22:52

of the international press, leaning over their gardens.

0:22:520:22:55

In fact, next door, they've been taking in bunches of flowers.

0:22:550:22:58

MUSIC: Chicken Man by Alan Hawkshaw

0:22:580:23:01

And we'll bring you the answer at the end of the show.

0:23:120:23:14

Now, then, when it comes to getting older, size definitely matters -

0:23:140:23:19

the size of your house, that is -

0:23:190:23:21

which is why many people choose to move to a smaller home.

0:23:210:23:23

But doing that can not only be a logistical nightmare,

0:23:230:23:26

it's also very pricey, possibly, and emotionally draining.

0:23:260:23:30

Nicki Chapman has been to Hampshire for us

0:23:300:23:33

to meet the ultimate downsizers, for tips on how to do it properly.

0:23:330:23:36

According to the latest stats,

0:23:390:23:40

Britain is on the verge of a property revolution,

0:23:400:23:44

as nearly 6 million of us consider downsizing our lives.

0:23:440:23:48

And it makes sense. Your children have left home,

0:23:490:23:52

and you're rattling around in a house with empty bedrooms,

0:23:520:23:56

so you decide to move to somewhere smaller

0:23:560:23:59

that leaves you better off financially,

0:23:590:24:01

plus it's an awful lot easier to look after.

0:24:010:24:04

For most of us, of course,

0:24:040:24:06

this might involve moving from a suburban semi to a bungalow,

0:24:060:24:10

or a busy city street to the peaceful surrounds of the seaside.

0:24:100:24:14

For a certain section of society, however,

0:24:140:24:16

downsizing is a super-sized affair.

0:24:160:24:19

Today, I'm going to be hanging out in their world,

0:24:190:24:22

hoping to pick up some top tips we can all use.

0:24:220:24:25

Six months ago, Anthea Marr and her

0:24:250:24:27

husband, Brian, lived here in Surrey,

0:24:270:24:29

in this stunning nine-bedroom country manor house,

0:24:290:24:33

until they decided to pack up, ship out and hand over the keys.

0:24:330:24:37

She's showing me around what they've left behind, from the outside in.

0:24:370:24:42

This was an office and a playroom in general.

0:24:420:24:45

-Oh.

-We used to have a billiard table in here.

0:24:450:24:47

And the kitchen, which is nice and big.

0:24:470:24:49

-Oh, yes.

-Going into a little breakfast room here.

0:24:490:24:52

Wonderful parties in that room there.

0:24:520:24:55

Since you sold it, how many times have you been back?

0:24:550:24:57

-This is the first, really.

-Is it painful?

-Yes.

0:24:570:25:00

Definitely. We had, you know, what, 25 years here, blissfully happy,

0:25:000:25:04

-loved it.

-I'm looking at it in wonder, because it is so peaceful,

0:25:040:25:10

so tranquil, and then in the back of my head, something's saying to me,

0:25:100:25:13

-"That's an awful lot of work."

-That's why we moved!

0:25:130:25:17

It was much easier to downsize to something we could manage without

0:25:170:25:20

endless problems.

0:25:200:25:22

So, what does downsizing look like for those who can afford it?

0:25:220:25:26

Well, it meant the moving from something massive

0:25:280:25:31

to something...just big.

0:25:310:25:33

Let's have a nosy.

0:25:330:25:35

This is the sitting room, and as you can see, it's lovely and light.

0:25:350:25:39

-Aren't we lucky?

-Goodness, this is a wonderful room, isn't it?

0:25:390:25:42

-Isn't it?

-Very homely, but you have that space.

0:25:420:25:45

Wonderful light. When the sun is out, there's beautiful light in here.

0:25:450:25:49

This is the dining room - small, but you can get six in here.

0:25:490:25:52

And what about the furniture? Because it works beautifully in here.

0:25:520:25:55

-Yes, this is all mine.

-All from the big house?

0:25:550:25:58

All from the big house. We didn't buy anything for here at all.

0:25:580:26:00

There's a bedroom in here.

0:26:000:26:03

Ah, so you actually have a second reception room here?

0:26:030:26:06

Yes, we wanted a spare room so we could have friends to stay,

0:26:060:26:10

or the children, and it's got an en-suite in there.

0:26:100:26:12

-Oh, which is perfect.

-And... It is perfect. And also, as we get older,

0:26:120:26:16

we may prefer not to sleep upstairs.

0:26:160:26:18

Anthea and her husband, Brian, chose to buy a lifetime occupancy

0:26:180:26:21

their home, rather than purchase it outright.

0:26:210:26:24

It's a low-stress arrangement,

0:26:240:26:26

and a service charge takes care of cleaning,

0:26:260:26:28

gardening and the utility bills.

0:26:280:26:30

But even though their new home is beautiful,

0:26:300:26:33

the move here hasn't been easy.

0:26:330:26:35

So, when you made that decision to downsize, was it liberating,

0:26:370:26:40

or was it actually heartbreaking, doing it?

0:26:400:26:43

-Mmm, pretty heartbreaking.

-Was it?

0:26:430:26:45

-But has it been the right decision, do you think?

-I think so, yes.

0:26:450:26:49

My husband had been quite ill for some time, and I had a major

0:26:490:26:53

operation, and found things very, very tough afterwards.

0:26:530:26:57

Were you surprised how difficult it was, once you'd made that decision,

0:26:570:27:02

to physically make the move?

0:27:020:27:04

The packing, the deciding what you're going to sell,

0:27:040:27:07

what you're going to keep?

0:27:070:27:08

-Oh, yes, we got... The divorce lawyers nearly came.

-LAUGHTER

0:27:080:27:12

Oh, don't be mean!

0:27:120:27:14

But it's not just leaving your home that most people find difficult

0:27:140:27:17

when it comes to downsizing.

0:27:170:27:19

It's having to get rid of all the stuff they've accumulated over the

0:27:190:27:22

years, when they find they've nowhere to put it,

0:27:220:27:26

and this is as true for the haves as it is for those who have a little less.

0:27:260:27:30

We had some beautiful Beijing plates,

0:27:300:27:32

which my father brought back from China.

0:27:320:27:35

But, very reluctantly, we sent them to auction and we made a lot of

0:27:350:27:38

money on it, but it was terribly hard.

0:27:380:27:41

-Yeah.

-We love them.

-Was it quite exciting, though,

0:27:410:27:43

once you'd decided to get rid of them, to see the prices going up or not?

0:27:430:27:48

-Did you keep thinking...

-I was surprised, terribly surprised, yes.

-Were you?

-And we kept getting

0:27:480:27:52

these notes saying that the plate had gone up.

0:27:520:27:54

I thought, "That's a lot."

0:27:540:27:56

Incredibly, the price reached £300 per plate.

0:27:560:28:00

Of course, if you have a lot of potentially valuable things, then

0:28:000:28:03

you might need someone to help you shift them, and for the ultimate

0:28:030:28:06

downsizers, there's help at hand.

0:28:060:28:08

Thomas Plant is an auctioneer who has found that business is booming.

0:28:080:28:13

Now, Thomas, as a successful auctioneer,

0:28:130:28:15

how important for your business is the downsizing market?

0:28:150:28:19

-Oh, downsizing is massive.

-Is it?

-It really is, yes.

0:28:190:28:22

When I first started in the business, many moons ago,

0:28:220:28:25

we used to deal in three Ds - Death, Divorce and Destitution.

0:28:250:28:29

-Oh!

-Yeah. But there's a fourth thing, a bigger D, and that's downsizing.

0:28:290:28:33

It's an absolutely huge market.

0:28:330:28:36

Everything from furniture to toys to vinyl to old hi-fi...

0:28:360:28:41

-So, it really varies.

-..antiques. Yeah.

0:28:410:28:43

Does it come as a surprise to people, how much it's all worth?

0:28:430:28:46

Generally, you go around and say, "Well, that's worth £50.

0:28:460:28:49

"That might be worth £100. That might be worth 300."

0:28:490:28:51

And they're all little figures.

0:28:510:28:53

Actually, when they all add up, they make a huge difference.

0:28:530:28:56

And when you're an ultimate downsizer, everything you don't auction off,

0:28:560:29:00

you'll want to arrive in your new home in one piece,

0:29:000:29:03

and that's where Amanda Fyfe and Susan Griffiths come in.

0:29:030:29:06

They recognised that handling the practicalities of downsizing was

0:29:060:29:10

a business opportunity, and now they specialise in Senior Moves -

0:29:100:29:14

for the more discerning downsizer who prefers others to do the heavy lifting.

0:29:140:29:19

So, once someone's made the big decision to downsize,

0:29:190:29:22

what advice do you start off with?

0:29:220:29:25

-Ah.

-Deep breath, that's number one, wasn't it?

0:29:250:29:29

Deep breath. I would split it into three. You need to decide where you

0:29:290:29:32

are going to go, you need to decide what's going to fit into your

0:29:320:29:35

new home, you need to decide,

0:29:350:29:36

therefore, when you know what's going to fit,

0:29:360:29:39

you know what you can dispose of.

0:29:390:29:41

If you're used to having a four-bedroom home, it's very

0:29:410:29:44

difficult to suddenly go to two bedrooms, isn't it?

0:29:440:29:47

So, you're dealing with the emotions there, and the memories of that

0:29:470:29:50

-property.

-That's where people can become quite frightened

0:29:500:29:53

and overwhelmed by the whole process,

0:29:530:29:55

because they just don't know where to start.

0:29:550:29:58

Downsizing needs to be done with the head more than the heart, and it was

0:29:580:30:01

Amanda and Susan who helped Anthea and Brian make their move.

0:30:010:30:06

This is for Anthea's house.

0:30:060:30:10

So, we take their floor plans and then measure their furniture and

0:30:100:30:13

then plan it. And we sit with them and they'll go,

0:30:130:30:16

"Oh, can we have the sofa this way?" All our clients are always in

0:30:160:30:19

control, so it's their choice. Once we've got that, then we know

0:30:190:30:23

it'll fit and everything else they don't have, we know then has got to

0:30:230:30:26

be disposed of.

0:30:260:30:28

So, if someone wanted to, they literally could sell their house,

0:30:280:30:32

you go off and move them into the new one, and they just turn up,

0:30:320:30:34

-open the door and walk straight in.

-That's our ideal, actually.

0:30:340:30:38

They go and have a lovely day and a lovely lunch,

0:30:380:30:40

and we'll look after the removers,

0:30:400:30:42

and then they come in and they've got a lovely home.

0:30:420:30:44

The bed will be made, the TV will be connected, kitchen unpacked.

0:30:440:30:47

And then they can start their life.

0:30:470:30:49

Now, sometimes, ultimate downsizers don't want to go smaller,

0:30:490:30:52

they want to go somewhere even bigger

0:30:520:30:55

but which they can share, and that's where this place comes in.

0:30:550:30:59

Welcome to Hawthorn Lodge retirement community, where t'ai chi under the

0:30:590:31:03

chandeliers is part of the daily routine.

0:31:030:31:05

MUSIC: Keep Fit by George Formby

0:31:050:31:07

# Keep fit, skip on your toes

0:31:070:31:09

# That's it, each movement shows

0:31:090:31:10

# Your bit of muscle grows

0:31:100:31:12

# Whatever you do, keep fit. #

0:31:120:31:15

Were you nervous coming here, making that big decision?

0:31:150:31:17

Yes. A little bit.

0:31:170:31:19

But it was made so simple for me, really, when I reflect back.

0:31:190:31:23

So, does anybody here wish they'd done it sooner?

0:31:230:31:25

Yes. Maybe three or four years sooner.

0:31:250:31:29

Although downsizing may not be easy, change can be positive.

0:31:290:31:34

Here you've all decided to downsize,

0:31:350:31:38

but you're all living within a community, as well.

0:31:380:31:41

-Was that important?

-Yes.

-It was?

0:31:410:31:44

I think the greatest thing about that is that we have our

0:31:440:31:47

independence in our own apartment,

0:31:470:31:49

but if ever you walk out here, there's somebody having coffee

0:31:490:31:53

-and you can talk and...

-Everybody's story is different,

0:31:530:31:55

everybody's experience is different as well, isn't it?

0:31:550:31:58

-But no regrets?

-Absolutely none. None at all.

-Lots of fun to be had.

0:31:580:32:02

-Lots of fun to be had.

-LAUGHTER

0:32:020:32:04

Well said. Well, you certainly look happy here.

0:32:040:32:06

Thank you all very much.

0:32:060:32:08

Now, obviously, this has been a bit of fun, but, you know,

0:32:080:32:11

I think there are lessons for all of us.

0:32:110:32:14

Here are the top tips I've picked up today...

0:32:140:32:16

One - be practical.

0:32:160:32:19

There's no point hanging around just for the emotional value of

0:32:190:32:22

a house if you can't physically make it work.

0:32:220:32:25

Two - there's money to be made, and there could be people out there who

0:32:250:32:29

want to buy your stuff.

0:32:290:32:31

And three - you're not alone.

0:32:310:32:33

So, get help. More hands make light work.

0:32:330:32:36

And finally, I just want to say goodbye to Anthea and Brian,

0:32:420:32:47

and I've bought them a gift.

0:32:470:32:49

Because you made such a success of finding a new home and

0:32:490:32:53

-downsizing, at great expense...

-LAUGHTER

0:32:530:32:57

..we have done our very own plate to the two of you.

0:32:570:33:01

-Oh...

-Thank you very much.

-Look at that, Brian.

0:33:010:33:04

-Not quite from Beijing like the originals, but...

-Oh, no, but I'm thrilled to bits.

0:33:040:33:08

-..for the next phase in your lives.

-Yes, absolutely thrilled.

0:33:080:33:11

-And Bertie's as well.

-And Bertie. Look, Bertie!

0:33:110:33:13

And we wish all three the very best.

0:33:130:33:16

We end today's programme by returning to the topic of loneliness,

0:33:180:33:21

or rather the measures being taken to combat it for all ages.

0:33:210:33:26

This is the story of the podcast pals.

0:33:260:33:29

Ah, a nice cup of tea.

0:33:290:33:32

You really can't beat it, no matter what age you are.

0:33:320:33:36

And it's the timeless nature of the good old British cuppa that has

0:33:360:33:39

become the basis for a brand-new podcast.

0:33:390:33:41

That's a radio show on the internet, to you and me.

0:33:410:33:44

Chris Heath from Peterborough is the mastermind behind this podcast.

0:33:440:33:51

I wanted to do a podcast, and it was going to be a TV review thing, like

0:33:510:33:54

lots of people probably are doing already.

0:33:540:33:57

And so I needed to make sure the microphones all worked, so I sat,

0:33:570:34:00

I was at my nan's house, and I sat her down and said,

0:34:000:34:04

"I'll just interview you, just to make sure the microphone works,"

0:34:040:34:07

and she said, well, "I don't know what to say."

0:34:070:34:09

I said, "Well, let's just talk about your life."

0:34:090:34:11

And so we did. And an hour and a half later, we were still talking.

0:34:110:34:15

It suddenly hit me, this is really good if you get out there and talk

0:34:160:34:20

to people, everyone's got a fascinating life.

0:34:200:34:23

Chris set his sights on chatting to the nation's gran and grandads,

0:34:230:34:27

but he soon realised that it could have an extra dimension.

0:34:270:34:30

I wanted to focus on the loneliness of older people.

0:34:310:34:34

I think, like anyone, I've had spells of loneliness, too.

0:34:340:34:37

And actually, you realise, if it's bad for me at this stage in my life,

0:34:370:34:41

what must it be like after 50 years of being with the same person and

0:34:410:34:46

then suddenly losing them?

0:34:460:34:48

And as a way of combating my own loneliness at the time,

0:34:480:34:51

I kind of threw myself at the podcast. It gave me something useful

0:34:510:34:54

and healthy, and the great thing is I've now got a kind of a queue,

0:34:540:34:58

almost like a waiting list of people waiting to be interviewed.

0:34:580:35:01

People love reminiscing. Their, kind of, eyes mist over and they'll just

0:35:010:35:04

let everything out and tell you everything.

0:35:040:35:07

Chris is off on his travels to

0:35:070:35:09

record the latest edition of his podcast with 85-year-old

0:35:090:35:13

Tommy Walsh from Manchester.

0:35:130:35:15

Tommy Walsh, welcome to Two Cups Of Tea, the podcast.

0:35:180:35:22

Take me back to the beginning.

0:35:220:35:23

What was it like for the early Tommy Walsh?

0:35:230:35:25

I'm the youngest of nine children,

0:35:250:35:28

and I was brought up - and it's unbelievable, this, but it's true -

0:35:280:35:32

nine children in a one-up and one-down house with

0:35:320:35:37

a cold water tap in the yard.

0:35:370:35:39

Now, Chris, Two Cups Of Tea is a lovely intergenerational thing,

0:35:390:35:43

-isn't it?

-Yeah.

-And that doesn't go on enough in society, does it?

0:35:430:35:46

It really doesn't, sadly. You'll get elderly people,

0:35:460:35:49

"I don't understand the computer, my grandson does it," all that.

0:35:490:35:51

But what I find now, and it is... There's more and more people are...

0:35:510:35:57

-IT literate.

-..literate, that's the word.

0:35:570:36:00

So, this sort of thing is available because more and more people are

0:36:000:36:04

using the internet, which is great.

0:36:040:36:07

Yeah. Do people in their 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, listen to your podcasts

0:36:070:36:11

or... Who's the audience?

0:36:110:36:13

I assumed it was people my age or maybe a bit younger who listened to

0:36:130:36:17

podcasts in the main, but Tommy has got the internet in the corner of

0:36:170:36:20

his room and so many, I found so many nanas who've got iPads and are

0:36:200:36:24

completely hooked up to the internet,

0:36:240:36:26

so, everyone is kind of listening to it.

0:36:260:36:28

And it's really gratifying,

0:36:280:36:30

the messages and stuff that I've been getting back.

0:36:300:36:33

The experience of meeting the likes

0:36:330:36:35

of Tommy has left Chris with a theory.

0:36:350:36:38

The one thing I've found over the 15 or 16 people I've interviewed so far

0:36:380:36:42

is there's no such thing as an ordinary life.

0:36:420:36:45

Everyone out there has a story to tell, if you get out there and talk

0:36:450:36:48

to people and listen to it.

0:36:480:36:51

And Chris has found his fair share of interesting characters.

0:36:510:36:55

When I'm talking to all these people, hearing their life stories,

0:36:550:36:58

they say, "Oh, you don't want to ask me, I haven't had a very interesting life, really."

0:36:580:37:01

And then it'll turn out that the same person who says they haven't

0:37:010:37:05

had an interesting life was the last person to see Tony Hancock alive

0:37:050:37:09

before he died, or they were in Alan Bennett's gang at school,

0:37:090:37:12

-was a guy I interviewed.

-Someone who met Vincent Price...

0:37:120:37:15

-Yeah, who spent a day in Sydney with Vincent Price!

-That's it, yeah.

0:37:150:37:19

And had to interview a naked Muhammad Ali in his hotel room

0:37:190:37:22

in the '60s!

0:37:220:37:24

Bernard Manning worked with your sister?

0:37:240:37:26

Yeah, Nellie. Bernard and I became quite close friends,

0:37:260:37:30

cos I knew him in his early years, when he wasn't quite so famous.

0:37:300:37:33

Would you believe it?

0:37:330:37:36

And I, at that time, I used to do a bit of chirping, as they call it.

0:37:360:37:39

A bit of singing. But he used to say to me,

0:37:390:37:41

"Why don't you do semi-pro singing and I said, "No, I can't really do

0:37:410:37:45

"that, I'm serving an apprenticeship,

0:37:450:37:47

"you know, I can't just chuck it."

0:37:470:37:49

-Then I thought about it, so I spoke to the old fella.

-Yeah.

0:37:490:37:52

"You're going to stay there until you're 21 and then you can do what

0:37:520:37:55

"you want," that sort of thing. And, actually, it was good advice.

0:37:550:37:59

Although the idea for Two Cups Of Tea was originally a chance for

0:37:590:38:03

Chris to prove his theory that there is no such thing as an ordinary

0:38:030:38:06

life, the podcast soon got the attention of The Campaign To End Loneliness.

0:38:060:38:10

Laura, from the organisation, saw it as a real opportunity.

0:38:100:38:16

What Chris is doing with these podcasts, most importantly, I think,

0:38:160:38:19

is debunking the myth that older people are boring, quiet,

0:38:190:38:26

happy to sit in the corner of a room.

0:38:260:38:28

And they've got these rich experiences that are going to make

0:38:280:38:32

you laugh, might make you cry,

0:38:320:38:34

and will totally demystify the idea that later life and older age is

0:38:340:38:39

something to be forgotten or ignored.

0:38:390:38:43

There are many contributing factors to loneliness,

0:38:430:38:46

one of them being that, whilst in many countries, families live

0:38:460:38:49

together with all the generations under one roof,

0:38:490:38:51

the same is not true here in the UK.

0:38:510:38:54

There are a whole range of

0:38:560:39:00

things that are happening in society that are marginalising older people.

0:39:000:39:04

Everything from media perception of age, but more than that,

0:39:040:39:09

we're used to now moving away from our hometowns,

0:39:090:39:12

and moving far away, and we've started to move towards

0:39:120:39:16

a habit, I suppose,

0:39:160:39:18

and a way of thinking about later life as being something that

0:39:180:39:23

can be helped and supported through our older relatives living in

0:39:230:39:27

care homes or residential homes.

0:39:270:39:30

So, what help and support can podcasts such as Chris's offer?

0:39:300:39:34

It's really important for people of

0:39:340:39:35

all ages to interact with each other.

0:39:350:39:37

It just gives us that in to say, you know, "Let's listen to this podcast together."

0:39:370:39:41

So, anyone who wants to make those small moments of connection,

0:39:410:39:45

a bit like the way Chris has showcased,

0:39:450:39:48

to start those conversations with people who are potentially lonely,

0:39:480:39:52

or who just want to tell their story,

0:39:520:39:54

we'll be running a major campaign in April 2018.

0:39:540:39:57

If you want to be part of that, sign up by going onto our website

0:39:570:40:00

and we'll keep you with us on every step of that exciting journey,

0:40:000:40:04

making loneliness everyone's business.

0:40:040:40:07

And helping with loneliness is definitely something Tommy appreciates.

0:40:070:40:12

Even though I'm active,

0:40:120:40:14

I get out and I turn up at all sorts of coffee mornings and that sort of thing,

0:40:140:40:19

which helped, it's so nice, and this is what I urge people to do,

0:40:190:40:23

just be polite, mate. Just give us ten minutes.

0:40:230:40:26

"How are you, Tommy? How's your day going, Tommy?

0:40:260:40:28

"What are you doing tomorrow, Tommy?"

0:40:280:40:30

Great conversation is what, from being with you, I can see is what you're very good at.

0:40:300:40:34

It's what you need in a day, isn't it? You need to be speaking and communicating with people.

0:40:340:40:38

You do, indeed. Loneliness is mainly in the evening.

0:40:380:40:41

And even a telephone call, a ten-minute call, it's surprising how it bucks you up, sort of thing.

0:40:410:40:46

-It's worthwhile.

-Do they all talk as much as Tommy, Chris?

0:40:460:40:50

Most of them, much less. LAUGHTER

0:40:500:40:53

But, you know, luckily, I've got a very long tape.

0:40:530:40:57

And when all the talking's done, back at home,

0:40:570:40:59

Chris edits and uploads this latest edition.

0:40:590:41:03

So, Tommy joins the rest of his podcast pals,

0:41:030:41:06

but who are some of his favourites on there?

0:41:060:41:09

Take it away, Chris.

0:41:090:41:11

Thanks, Fiona.

0:41:120:41:14

At number three, we've got 89-year-old Joe, who enjoyed the

0:41:140:41:17

bright lights of the Manchester cabaret circuit from a tender age.

0:41:170:41:22

At number two, it's 83-year-old Felix. Raised in Spanish Harlem,

0:41:220:41:27

New York, he eventually moved to the

0:41:270:41:29

United Kingdom and became a judge at Crufts. Woof-woof!

0:41:290:41:33

And, at number one, it's 95-year-old Jessie Denby,

0:41:350:41:40

who manned the anti-aircraft guns in the Second World War.

0:41:400:41:44

So, listening to her could be your finest hour.

0:41:440:41:46

Back to you, Fiona.

0:41:460:41:48

And if you'd like to hear Jessie and more, you can listen to Chris's

0:41:480:41:51

podcast at...

0:41:510:41:53

But what, in the end,

0:41:570:41:59

has been the main lesson that Chris has learned from all of this?

0:41:590:42:02

It's the easiest thing in the world to make a massive difference in

0:42:050:42:09

people's lives.

0:42:090:42:11

In terms of loneliness, this isn't, I mean, you know,

0:42:120:42:15

there's other problems in the world that are much harder to solve.

0:42:150:42:19

But not this one.

0:42:190:42:21

You go out and find the people on your street, who you know live

0:42:210:42:23

alone, and who you know might need someone to talk to,

0:42:230:42:26

just do it one house at a time. That's how you make a difference.

0:42:260:42:29

There's all these amazing people out there

0:42:290:42:31

who we're not talking to, who we should be.

0:42:310:42:33

Actually, the one thing I have learned more than anything else is

0:42:360:42:39

that old people make the best tea in the world.

0:42:390:42:43

And we've just got time to tell you the answer to our

0:42:460:42:48

"What was the year that was?" archive quiz. Fiona...

0:42:480:42:51

It was 1978.

0:42:510:42:54

The year that Evita opened in London's West End.

0:42:540:42:57

That marvellous musical. Don't cry for us, though.

0:42:570:42:59

-We'll be back same time tomorrow.

-Urgh. Bye-bye.

0:42:590:43:02

LAUGHTER

0:43:020:43:04

MUSIC: Don't Cry For Me Argentina by Julie Covington

0:43:040:43:07

# Don't cry for me, Argentina

0:43:110:43:16

# The truth is I never left you

0:43:160:43:21

# All through my wild days my mad existence

0:43:210:43:27

# I kept my promise don't keep your distance... #

0:43:270:43:33

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