Episode 3 Del Boys and Dealers

This programme contains some strong language

All over Britain,

a unique breed of entrepreneur is on the make.

It's just become 100 years old, so it has just become an antique.

HORN BLARES

The flames are beautiful. This will be so easy to sell.

For these real-life Del Boys, everything and anything is for sale.

What do you think of that? You know who it is, don't you?

For fresh stock, they head to a very particular type of auction house...

Mickey Mouse. Three, four. Four.

Anybody else want the bag of earmuffs for six quid?

..sifting through the junk in search of buried treasure.

If that's a genuine Rolex watch...!

He's bought a Porsche, hasn't he?!

-It's moody, isn't it? I can tell by your face.

-Yeah.

But will any of these dealers discover the lot that will

make the millionaires?

-If it was authentic, you know...

-£200,000?

HE LAUGHS

I hope I find a nice something that's worth millions of pounds

and I can never work again.

Lot 76.

Blimey O'Reilly, look at that, eh?

The Bolton Auction Rooms is an Aladdin's cave

of the weird and wonderful.

257, a mobility walker.

This is one of Britain's so-called trash-and-treasure auctions,

where literally everything is up for grabs.

A Buddha, a cash register and a pencil sharpener.

A geisha's pillow, constructed in bamboo.

Where would you like to be? £20 for it?

It's a mecca for wheelers and dealers,

all hoping to strike it rich.

They come and have a browse round. They go through the boxes,

open it to find the treasure.

And it has happened on quite a few occasions.

You know, like I say, this literally came in today.

This is... We don't know where it's going to go.

It could make ten quid, it could make £200.

We've had some really, really good achievements.

You know, not everything goes for 10, 20 quid.

We've had literally thousands of pounds on one item.

-INTERVIEWER:

-What have you got there?

I've got a Newfoundland moose from 1892 that my mum inherited.

I'm hoping to sell it, yeah, on behalf of my mother, yeah,

see what I can get for it.

Most of the lots at the auction come from private vendors,

hoping to earn some extra cash.

It is a nice piece, yeah. It's a nice big lump.

My wife wouldn't even go in the spare bedroom while it was there!

She wanted rid of it.

-INTERVIEWER:

-Who buys this stuff?

-Who knows, who knows?

Each to their own, isn't it?

I mean, it's not my cup of tea, exactly, but, you know...

There are buyers for it. We've sold them before, actually.

Normally, if they are a bit scruffy and a bit scraggy, I won't normally

take them, but that is just a good one, so yes, I think she'll do OK.

VENDOR CALLS TO CUSTOMERS

All you guys looking for a bargain, look no further.

Right, here it is today.

One of Bolton Auction's most experienced customers

is lifelong dealer Danny.

I feel that I'm quite a good trader, you know, in whatever commodity.

Come on! Who's next? Hey, lovely.

'I've got style. Character. Charm.

'Charisma. I've got all them, erm...'

qualities.

That's lovely. Thank you very much.

There's another happy customer. There's another happy customer.

Danny buys stock up north and sells on at car-boot sales

in the wealthier parts of London, like this one in Chiswick.

A bricklayer's tools is a trowel, and my tools is cash.

Whoa, you be careful, now. All breakages must be paid for.

Every week, I'm going to auctions, I'm buying, so just get it, put

a little bit of profit on it, move it on, and get onto the next thing.

Hey, hold on. Left my frying pan on.

Ooh. PAN SIZZLES

Got to make sure you look after yourself, eat a bit of food.

When he was growing up, Danny regularly went to auctions

with his mum.

But things changed when he was aged 14.

My dad died when I was very young.

You know, after my dad died, I went off the rails a little bit,

you know.

A couple of years after that, you know, I'd sort of got myself in trouble with the law as well.

I suppose what was at the forefront of my mind was, you know, the good

old days when I used to be at the auction with my mum and so forth.

You know, I got back into auctions and buying and selling, and I've never looked back since.

Danny's now been crisscrossing the country, buying and selling,

for more than ten years.

-Where's my brew, man?

-Coming!

When he's not on the road, home is Clitheroe, Lancashire,

where he lives with Jo, their five-year-old, Kiona,

and Jo's two daughters.

Eat up, Kiona, eat up.

One week I'm up here, the other week I'm not up here -

I'm down south or I'm on the road.

I'm on the road quite a lot and I sort of trade in London.

-INTERVIEWER:

-Would you rather he was here all the time?

Um, no - I don't think I'd rather he'd be here all the time.

It would probably be a bit too much,

especially with the kids being teenagers and the clash

of personalities, because he's a bit of a kid at heart, really.

Eat. Eat.

He does my head in, a bit.

It's his high-pitched voice. Like...

SHE IMITATES DANNY

You be a good girl, are you listening? You listening?

-He comes and goes when he pleases.

-When he needs to go, he needs to go.

I don't lose on anything, really. I just don't lose.

I think I'm quite good, you know,

in spotting a bargain, knowing a bargain and moving it on.

It's the pre-auction viewing -

a chance for punters to check out the lots before the next sale.

And Danny's on the hunt.

We all want to find something, every one of us, you know.

Bag of gold, or Rolex watch...

We're all know after it, you know,

and I want it as much as the next man.

Impressive, isn't it? It's impressive. It's quite nice.

Quite a big... The ears are a bit...

If the antlers were symmetrical, it'd be nice.

If it was symmetrical...

It looks more pretty if they're symmetrical.

Yeah, it does look nice.

Yeah, probably too nice, you know. Probably too nice, really.

Probably find that, you know...

everybody's really going to be on it. That's what you might find.

In Pontypridd, South Wales, two young wheeler-dealers

are also hoping to get lucky.

INDISTINCT

Always check to see if there's any writing on the bellies and stuff,

because I've bought toys in the past where you look at them,

you think, "Oh, that's really nice, they're all brand-new,"

so you kind of just quickly bid on them, move on. Later on,

you buy them and it's got something like "Happy 21st", or "Happy 18th",

so then you're restricted to the sort of one market.

24-year-old Ieuan and 17-year-old sidekick Kern

deal in low-value items from their local auction house.

They'd be quite cool as picture frames or something.

Put a back on the back, there.

"Blue crate including irons,

"kettles, phone and a toaster."

You have a little one by there...

And you could have picture frames, then, all along your wall.

12 iPhone 5, and 12 iPhone 4 cases.

The lads began trading together six months ago to top up their wages

from the local supermarket.

Lot 64, Red Arrows picture. Two to start.

Two, thank you. Three. Four, four. Five, five.

Six? Five by the door. Looking for £6. £5.

Five for eight.

'Some people were born with, you know... Mum and Dad are loaded,

'so they never actually have to earn the money that they get.

'Other people,'

like me and Kern, we've had to start from the bottom, with nothing.

Buying and selling crisps, chocolate and that,

and then building yourself up from there.

There's nothing like the feeling of getting money.

I think working for your money and getting out there

and learning what you do in life is the best way to be.

DOG BARKS

-INTERVIEWER:

-Do you think this is how Alan Sugar started out?

I'd like to think so.

Yes, I imagine this is how he started off.

Yeah, I'd love to be a millionaire.

Get a nice house, nice wife, maybe a holiday once or twice a year.

The things that I didn't have when I was a kid.

I never went on holiday when I was a kid.

Do you mind if I take your radiator and have a quick delve in the skip?

Help yourself.

We'll have that away for starters, Kern.

Grab that a sec.

Oh, I can't really...

It's not massive, like, but it all adds up.

With low returns on their current stock,

Ieuan and Kern are now looking to up their profit margin.

They're planning a trip to a London auction house,

which could transform their business.

'Obviously, I'm never going to become a millionaire

'if I just keep selling stuff at the table-top sales,'

you know, selling Christmas cards, birthday cards, shoes...

Greasby's Auctioneers is well known amongst traders for selling

unclaimed suitcases and lost property.

One guy paid £40 for a bag and found £1,000 worth of silver coins.

So you think, "Well, if he can do it, so can I."

Here we go. First lot of 852.

Armed with a catalogue for the next auction,

Ieuan and Kern are targeting brand-name luggage.

'You're more likely to find hidden treasure inside a designer suitcase.

'If it's designer, people tend to have a lot more money.'

Samsonite is an expensive make, see.

There's another good make, John Lewis.

I might find a Ming vase that's worth a couple of million pound.

You just don't know what treasure you're going to find.

It's 6am and the lads are off to catch the early coach.

I've got my luggage scales, I've got my scales for jewellery, I've got...

I've got my list of designer bags to look out for. So I've prepared

as good as I can, and I've brought as much money and as I've got, so...

While Ieuan's been to London once, on a school trip,

Kern's never visited before.

My mum's excited for me to come down to London.

You know what mothers are like.

"Tuck your shirt in, put your shoelaces in."

Pat your hair down. She's been nervous, but she's excited for me.

520 in the room?

-Room has it at 520. 530?

-540.

-540.

It's the auction in Bolton, and there are 300 lots up for sale.

-530?

-540.

-540. 560.

Marvellous.

It's a full house, and prices are high.

There we go, it's straight in at £800. And 20?

At £800.

One of the last items on the list is the antique caribou's head.

'It might be just what somebody's looking for.'

You know, to go above their fireplace, you know.

The one they've got has got one ear, you know, and this one's...

pretty much pristine. You've got to take a punt in this game!

If you don't take chances and gambles in this game, you ain't going to

make it! You're just going to be another...bod who...

"Oh, yeah, I bought that for two quid and I sold it for eight."

I think you can trade that and get a healthy profit.

The bigger, the better. The bigger, the better. So...

Just see how it goes. See how it goes.

Here you go. This is one I think you've been waiting for. A caribou.

Mentioned being once in the possession of the British Museum.

It must have been on loan there.

It's very well mounted, and a very rare opportunity to purchase.

Let's say, what, £300 for it? 300?

SILENCE

I don't know where you'd buy another. There's none in B&Q.

At £300?

No?

280, I dare say? Neck on the block now at 280, for the caribou.

At 280.

270.

-270.

-Yeah, go on.

-Expected a lot of interest in this.

There has been a lot of interest expressed.

280.

No, you can't find room in your home for him?

It's here to be sold.

It's with you.

That's a good day's work, even as a novice. It's got to be.

That's a good day's work.

I thought, to be quite honest with you, that it was going to go...

He even said, didn't he, "There's plenty of interest," eh?

When I'm about...

With the auctioneer's commission, and tax,

Danny's paid £319 for the caribou's head.

Ooh-woargh! I can feel some money on the end of this. I can feel it.

Without a doubt, I've got one over this place.

I've got one over here, you know. They've... I can't believe it.

They have give this...

They've given me this for chicken feed.

Mind your tops. There you go.

In the hunt for hidden treasure,

some of Bolton's traders search in the unlikeliest of places.

Somebody bought a box of bric-a-brac and what it had,

it was valued at over £700, and he only paid about a fiver for the box.

Mum-of-three Val bids on boxes of bric-a-brac in the hope

of finding undiscovered riches.

My daughter goes mad at me. "Why are you going in there again for?"

But she don't mind when, you know, I buy something

and gain a good price and it pays for her holiday. What is it, that?

-Truncheon.

-How do you know it's not a rounders bat?

For all we know, there could be a diamond ring

at the bottom of that box. And you won't know till you get home.

All sorts of bits and bobs there...

For the past 12 months, Val's been an auction regular,

and she never misses the weekly sale.

Fiver for it, surely. £5 the box.

£5. It needs to be sold.

Indian tea set.

I don't know anything about it, it's just nice.

It's an addiction.

I'm always on Facebook, eBay, Gumtree,

I go to the auction once a week.

I go car-booting when I can. You know, it's got to be done.

I've spent a fortune and I don't know what I've bought!

Although yet to unearth anything of real value,

Val's amassed a varied collection of stock.

I know it's an American.

And it dances like that.

I paid about 20 quid for it,

and I've been told it's valued about 90 quid now.

I think it's a 1920s, maybe earlier, German doll.

It's got the markings at the back.

There you go.

What do you think of that? You know who it is, don't you?

One day, I will buy something and I'll make a bloody fortune.

Val lives on her own in a flat just outside Bolton.

She sells her stock at local car-boot sales

but dreams of bigger things.

I'd like to have a little shop, sell a few antiques.

They don't have to be that valuable, just nice. I'd like a little shop.

I think I'd love that.

Somebody'll buy this.

With sports memorabilia going for high prices,

Val's hoping a print of a '70s footballer,

bought at a car-boot sale, might be the thing to set her on her way.

This is Willie Morgan.

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Don't make me laugh.

-But I remember when he used to play for Bolton, cos I used to fancy him.

-SHE LAUGHS

I think it is a collectable thing.

It's signed, and I'm going to see how much I can get for it.

To find out how much the print might be worth,

Val's turning to the auction house.

Val is one of our regular clients. A very colourful character.

Lovely, lovely lady.

Hang on.

She is learning very, very quickly, actually.

I've given her a few reference books just to check things on, and...

I try to help her in any way we can.

I do tell her what to look for, and... Well, basically,

I tell her now, anything she can put in her pocket,

rather than anything big.

Morning.

Oh, my word.

Oh, don't say it's bloody crap.

-What do you think of this?

-Oh, my word.

-Is it a good 'un?

Yeah, it's OK. It's, erm...

It's obviously a print, obviously. You know that.

-How much have you paid for it?

-A tenner.

-A tenner?

-You've done very well. You've done very well.

-I thought that.

Do you want the good news, or the bad news?

-It's what we call a facsimile, so it's a print.

-Yeah.

-It's part of the print.

-Yeah.

-It's not actually been signed by...

-Right.

-If we put that in at auction, you'd probably get 20 quid for it.

-Get lost! No, no.

-AUCTIONEER LAUGHS

Here, put it on its side.

-It easier to carry.

-I know it is.

Huh?

Oh, he's hard work.

-See you, Alan! See you, Kaylee!

-See you, Val. Bye!

-Bye!

'I think, to a Bolton fan, I think it'll be worth a bit more.'

You know, a true Bolton fan. It'll mean a lot to somebody, this.

And what I sell it, I'll let you know.

I'll tell you how much profit I've made.

In London, Ieuan and Kern have arrived for the auction viewing day.

Right, we're in Leicester Square now. If we go down to Trafalgar Square,

then, we'll pass Go, collect £200...

-Hopefully we don't land on a hotel!

-Yeah!

Just don't end up in prison.

Whoa, it's an M&M's World!

There's an M&M World. We didn't look that up.

Ah, man!

The auction house is six miles away from central London,

on the other side of the River Thames.

I've never been to London before this. It's, um...

It's like stepping into a new world, isn't it?

I haven't got a clue what none of this is.

If we find Victoria Station and work our way from it.

-No, we're not... We're nowhere near Buckingham Palace, Kern.

-Ain't we?

No. I think we'd notice if we were next to Buckingham Palace.

Look by there, street down there. Look by there, street down there.

Look there, street, street, street. It's like you're in the middle

of a maze and you've got to try and decipher how to get back out.

-INTERVIEWER:

-Are you feeling a bit lost?

-Yeah, lost.

Definitely the word to describe it. A small fish in a big pond, yeah.

I don't like it.

I like to feel that I'm in charge of the pond.

The lads are trying to find Greasby's,

a south London auction house run by auctioneer Christine.

I don't think when I was about 14 I envisaged doing this at 62.

SHE CHUCKLES

Greasby's specialise in house clearances, police seizures

and repossessed stock.

Years ago, we had an artificial leg come in.

Marble genitalia.

We sold a dog. A greyhound.

But the lots which attract the most interest, and which have enticed

Ieuan and Kern up from Wales, are the bags and suitcases.

INTERVIEWER: Why is it people come down and buy them, Christine?

What do you make of it?

I don't know. Some of the suitcases are quite nice.

You could get quite a good suitcase cheap if you didn't want

the contents, and it's the gamble for what the contents hold anyway.

Right, there we go. Look, it's Trafalgar Square, Kern.

Right, that's... Something to do with someone's column or something,

I think that's called.

Kern, one day, we might even find a painting, in an auction or something,

that'll end up in that National Gallery.

It could be some long-lost... I don't know, Mona Lisa, or,

it could be Mona Lisa's sister, like, the fit one.

End up in there, look.

Because we're going to find something worth millions and...

Well, it'd have to be trillions, wouldn't it?

The suitcases have been left behind at airports, and are sent

to the auction house after being unclaimed for three months.

We get the same buyers every auction, with the lost luggage.

We get lots of enquiries for it.

You get lots of people that really need to supplement their income.

I think people do think that they're going to open the suitcase

and find a pot of gold in there.

Well, how about we try this way, look, and then if we want,

we'll come back. So...

What are you doing, man?

-It's that way, isn't it?

-That way.

-That way.

After two hours, Ieuan and Kern

have arrived at the auction house for the viewing.

With a plan to target designer luggage in the following day's

auction, they're keen to check out the lots.

Yeah, I'm getting a feel for the place.

There's definitely plenty here.

You never know what you're going to find - gold, silver, platinum,

you know.

There's a bit of excitement in me, thinking,

"I might find something today that no-one else has spotted."

There's a lot of weight in that. There's a lot of weight.

And the fact that I can't feel no shoes...

I've got an idea of what I'd like to pay for them,

but I don't want to write down a load of numbers and someone's

looking over my shoulder and seeing, "Oh, right, I'll bid him up."

Can I open the luggage and go through it, or there's only...

No, no, you're not allowed to, mate. No, no.

I mean, obviously, all there is in them is just...clothes.

Oh, I don't know now.

They're already gone through three times before we get them,

So... There's no electricals or nothing like that.

It's just basically clothes, mate, yeah.

The new stuff that is pulled out is hanging up in the plastic bags

that we got on the ceilings,

so they're taken out suitcases and they're put into plastic bags,

new stuff with the tags on.

I don't know now, I don't know.

Because I was coming here on the assumption that the luggage

was literally brought in and just marked up straightaway.

I didn't realise that it was gone through by customs

and people like that, so...

In theory, three people have gone through the same bag I want to go through,

so the chance that they've missed something, not likely at all.

If they're to avoid being out of pocket, the lads are going to

have to come up with a new strategy before the next day's sale.

Half-time, if it was London v Wales, at the moment, London are probably...

winning by about ten points, I reckon.

Come on, then, you know what time it is!

Get on with it!

-Chill out.

-In Clitheroe, Danny's introducing Jo and the kids to

the latest addition to the family.

Shut that door, I'll tell you when to open it.

THEY LAUGH

-What are you laughing at?

-That's disgusting!

Not like that! Get out! Just stroke him nicely!

It cost me about 300 quid, really, about 300 quid.

I like live animals better.

After having paid £319 for the caribou's head,

Danny is taking it for a valuation.

The auctioneer was bigging it up,

"It's this, it's that, it's been in the Royal Museum,"

and all the rest of it,

so let's just hope that this specialist in taxidermy

has got the same respect for it as what the auctioneer had.

'Don't really know how I'm going to play it yet, to be honest. Um...

'One thing is for sure.

'I shall be making out I paid more money for it than what I did.'

Sometimes you've got to act dumb to catch the wise, you know?

'Date on it, 1894, I mean, that's over 100 years old,

'so it's definitely an antique, and it's a big piece.'

In all honesty, in taxidermy, I don't know a lot.

I know that's a fox and it's dead.

All right...

Hello. Norman?

The Weird & Wonderful store in Accrington

specialises in rare taxidermy.

-Nice to meet you.

-Danny. Pleasure.

Just thought I'd bring it to you, really,

just get a professional, um, you know, view on it, really.

It's certainly got some age to it.

Is that authentic, do you think, the date?

With these, you can certainly tell the age,

by usually the feel of the fur.

It's pretty obvious you know your onions!

It's pretty obvious, you know, so I'm not going to hold it as gospel,

but where am I at? Price-wise?

Top end value, I'd see being at 3,000, I'd have thought.

DANNY CLAPS

HE CACKLES

That's a jackpot, that's a good hit, that. That is a good hit, you know.

Cooking with gas, aren't I?

I'm cooking with gas because it's really gone higher

than the estimation that I thought, a lot higher, really.

I did know that it's a good thing, it's got the provenance.

It's worth about two, I thought, maximum,

but it's obviously worth a bit more than that,

in fact a lot more than that,

so it's great news, you know, it's fantastic, really.

I'm over the moon.

Just to be certain, the owner wants a second opinion.

CAMERA CLICKS

He's a big antler collector. I'm going to e-mail him some pictures.

-Yeah.

-And he's going to give me a fair valuation of it.

-I can work with that.

-We'll see what he says.

CAMERA CLICKS

In Bolton, Val's still looking for a buyer for her Willie Morgan print.

Bolton Wanderers...

She first started trading after her mum, Betty, passed away.

When she died, and we were clearing her flat out.

I got so much stuff, me, I had to sell some of it.

I did a car-boot sale. I sold some of it at the car-boot sale.

I sent some to the Salvation Army

and, um...

One or two bits I thought were good stuff, I took to auction.

'For two year I was a mess, with the stress of losing my mum,'

you know, I'd hate for to go through that again.

I had a breakdown.

'Buying and selling has helped me get back on my feet,

'it gave me a new focus on life, and I'm a stronger person now.'

I'm happy, I'm doing all this and I love it. I'm happy.

This is me, my mum, my daughter and my granddaughter.

This is one of the last pictures we had done with my mum before she died.

I'll always treasure it

and I know she's always with me.

Needs a good clean this, actually.

But...

She's always with me. She's looking over me now.

-INTERVIEWER:

-Watching your trading?

Yeah, she's watching me trading and she's smiling down on me.

In a bid to try and sell her latest purchase,

Val is doing some extra research.

This is the home of William Morgan's new website.

Former Scottish international Willie Morgan

played on the wing for Manchester United and Bolton in the 1970s.

-COMMENTATOR:

-Following in the footsteps of Genius George...

He were a good footballer, nice looking,

he had everything a woman wanted,

and a body to die for.

Good bum and all!

Val's found an e-mail address for Willie from his website.

"Hi, Willie, it's Val here.

"I've a nice pic here of you playing for Bolton, I guess around '76-'78.

"Would you like to see the pic? It's over five foot tall

"with your signature on and looking really good."

He might want it on his bedroom wall, in his living room,

even for his grandchildren, if he's got grandchildren,

maybe they'd like it, so he might buy it for one of his grandchildren.

I've put "kiss kiss". I'd better not put a kiss in. He might have a wife.

Bloody hell.

-Got any news?

-Not yet. I'm just texting to see

-if he's going to ring me back.

-Come on, chase him up, chase him up!

PHONE RINGS

Is that our man?

OK, so have you had a look at the pictures?

'Yes, I have. I've had a chance to have a look at the photographs

'that you sent to me.

'It's a very nice head.

'It's good that it's actually got the taxidermist's labels on it.

'It adds a bit of extra dimension to it.'

OK, so do you have an idea of what it's worth?

'Yeah, I would say that you could be asking around about 750 for it.'

OK, that's a little less than I thought it was worth.

'Right. Yeah, it's simply due to the size and the dimension

'of the antlers as well.'

Thank you for that.

-'No problem at all.'

-OK, speak to you soon.

-'Take care, Norman.'

-Bye.

-So there you go, there's the expert's valuation.

-Yeah.

You've took me right up and he's dropped me right down!

'That price of seven and a half

'is down to a collector who knows exactly what he's dealing with,

'but to Joe Public,

'who just wants it as a decorative piece in a shop, in a restaurant,

'and then it's just down to what the person wants to pay.'

I'll definitely get a good profit, that's without a doubt,

I'll definitely get a good profit,

but it would be nice to be up there, a bag of sand, £1,000,

that would be, you know, I'm kind of looking for it now.

It's auction day in south London,

and the Welsh Del Boys are up early.

After discovering all valuables are removed from the suitcases,

Ieuan has come up with a new plan.

'Instead now of thinking, we'll spend £40, £50 on one case,'

we'll try and get four or five lots for the same price.

Once they've snapped up as many cheap bags as possible,

they'll then sell on the second-hand clothes back in Pontypridd.

-INTERVIEWER:

-How are you deciding which cases are interesting?

Gut instinct.

Confident he can take on the London dealers in their own back yard,

it's time to register for bidding.

Thank you very much. Ta.

That has just cost me £100.

My bidding card is a £100 deposit.

Back in Ponty, we'd only pay a fiver for a deposit.

And I don't think they'd be too worried about it

if they didn't get it back. I don't think they'd come hunting you down

but here, he'll have the dogs set on him

if he doesn't bring the card back.

The people in London must be loaded.

You know, what sort of prices are they going to go to

'if they charge you £100 just for a deposit?'

Lot 248, two trolley cases of gents' clothing, 20 I have.

22, 24, 26,

28, 30.

Too expensive.

249 is the black Sub-0-G trolley case.

20 I have.

50.

In Wales, the lads rarely bid more than £10 on one item.

60, 65, 70.

Lot 250, two trolley cases of ladies' and children's clothing.

40, 45, 50, 55.

Wasted trip, isn't it?

Wasted trip.

Lot 252 is a Cadiz 4 tent.

£10.

Some of the baggage, you know, I've written down like £10, £12.

"I can start you with 20, 22, 24..."

And it's boom, boom, boom,

and next thing you know it's 36, 38 quid.

It's ridiculous.

People are so used to paying like £5, £6 a pint

that they don't bat their eyelids at paying £20 or £30 for a suitcase.

Where back home you'd go to a local Poundstretcher,

you could pick up a suitcase for £9, £15.

That's brand-new.

We've sort of come here thinking it's easy. But it's not.

It's cost me a fortune to come and find out that it's false.

No takers at ten?

Six?

Things are going a lot cheaper now.

So it's really thin in here, now. So we'll see what happens.

843, ten various coats and jackets. One pair of work trousers.

That last bundle. A tenner?

-Six.

-Six is offered.

SHE BANGS THE GAVEL

With the suitcases all sold,

it's time for the bargain lots at the end of the auction.

Anybody else want a bag of earmuffs for six quid?

How many bags do you want?

-The two.

-Two?

Oh, man. Not a bad day.

You know, we just seen the price tags on those earmuffs.

£3.95 each.

Maybe I'll ask £2 each.

There's about £30, £40 there - profit.

The suits...I've got a couple of people in mind, actually,

for the suits. So...

Kern(!)

It's been an experience, it's been a laugh.

I've got some earmuffs, you know.

I got some suits.

Once we get to the coach,

I can just dump all this underneath the coach,

where they keep all the luggage and that.

It's been a good 48 hours.

I haven't got much sleep

but there's plenty of time to sleep when you're dead. So...

We're going to see Willie Morgan this morning.

I've been up since four o'clock.

I don't know why, probably nerves. I don't know.

Willie Morgan's been in touch

and he's agreed to take a look at Val's picture.

She's enlisted a friend to drive her round to his house.

It'd be good if Willie, you know, bought the picture.

I know it'd be going to a good home

and it'll bring memories to him.

You know, if he gives me a good price for it, I'll be buzzing.

Say he offered me £200,

I'd give him a bloody kiss and all!

I am looking forward to it.

Back in his playing days, Willie Morgan was so well-known

that a tribute song was recorded.

# Let's go down the football ground

# To see United play

# Once inside we join the crowd... #

I thought it would have been a bit posher than this.

# Who's the one we're going to shout for? #

Me heart's going like that. Can you not hear it?

Bloody hell, look at the size of the house!

# Here comes Willie Morgan

# Willie, Willie Morgan

# Willie Morgan on the wing... #

-Hiya,

-Hello. How are you?

-I'm all right, thank you.

-Val, isn't it?

-I used to fancy you.

You used to fancy me!

-Come on through.

-You've got a lovely home.

You know, I've been up since four o'clock this morning.

I were like that, meeting you. I'll be honest with you.

Cos I've never met anybody famous. I mean, to me you're famous.

-I just started going to car-boot sales, doing car-boot sales.

-OK.

Going to auctions, doing a bit of selling

-and dealing and whatever.

-OK.

-That was made...

-You look like George Best in that.

He looked like me!

This was made for my testimonial.

-Oh, right!

-And some dinners that they were doing.

It was in my house five years ago

and my wife, she said,

"I don't want that in the house!"

So we put it in the skip!

Well, I bet it's been about then, hasn't it!

I've no idea where it's been!

I'm trying to sell it, if you're interested.

-Well, as I said, it was me that put it away.

-Well...

So...the house is not...

-We don't have a house big enough.

-I know.

Well, if you're not interested in buying it, can I ask you a favour?

-Yes, of course.

-Would you sign it again for me?

-Of course.

Oh, you good'un!

Oh, I'll not want to sell it now!

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-Thanks for having us.

-I hope you make a few bob on it.

-I do. See you!

-OK.

I realised they weren't going to buy it

when he told me he put it in a skip when they moved house.

But I thought he might have felt a bit sorry for me and bought it.

But I thought he were going to put the kettle on.

But he didn't.

But you've still got to keep going. That's my motto - just keep going.

One day, you watch this space, I will buy something

and then you'll know about it.

See you!

"Very, very, very large and handsome.

"Very large.

"In fantastic...condition."

Danny's preparing to sell the caribou's head.

But it means another trip back down to London.

Which is... Oh, yeah, that's nice.

I'm doing everything else while Dan is doing his selling.

Everything else is up to me to do.

The children, the cleaning, the cooking.

And I don't feel like I'm appreciated.

Jo wants me to live a normal family life,

I suppose, really.

We're all up here as a family, we're all up here as one unit.

I suppose ultimately that is what Jo wants.

I think I am a bit of a free spirit. Yes, I am. Yeah, yeah.

You know, I've got a lot of time, feelings, respect, love for Jo

and her family

but ultimately, I am a bit of a free spirit.

And Jo appreciates that.

You want the truth?

Pretty miffed today. Pretty miffed.

I'm just wondering whether we can stuff Danny

and put him on t'wall

cos he's going that way at the minute.

It's cos they love me, you see.

Once they get a piece of me, they want all of me!

They're not happy with a bit of me. They want the whole bloody lot.

The full shebang!

-DOOR CLOSES AND DANNY SINGS

-Here he is, singing.

Ooh. HE LAUGHS

I like...I want you to make money.

Of course you do, you want more champagne!

Piss off about your bloody champagne.

That's the only backup you've got.

"Oh, she likes a glass of champagne."

Who doesn't like a bloody glass of champagne?

-Do you know, I'm not even going there. I'm getting out of here.

-HE CACKLES

What do I say to that, eh?

What I say is...

You know how I roll.

MUSIC: "Love Man" by Otis Redding

HE SINGS ALONG

A little bit pissed off.

HE CONTINUES SINGING ALONG

There's always the thrill of going back down south

because going back down south, that's where I'm getting me bread.

That's where I'm earning the money, you know?

I've located a game dealer,

a game auction, really.

It sells country stuff and taxidermy, guns.

He's got to be talking really, realistically...

talking the £1,000 mark.

What more do you want?

It's been exhibited in the...

Royal History of... Royal Museum of History.

Royal History Museum. I mean, flipping hell.

You know, how nice is that to have hanging in your wall, you know,

when your friends come round after a shoot?

I don't really want to be hearing 500, 600.

This is an absolute fantastic place, Nick.

You're going to love it.

You're going to love it, Nick. I know you are.

Nick Holt runs a prestigious hunting auction

and has agreed to sell the caribou's head.

But before Danny commits

he wants to make sure he'll get the best price.

-Quite a good-looking beast, isn't it?

-It is, yeah.

-Yeah.

-Do you know much about caribou?

-Not a great deal.

-I know it looks a bit like a moose.

-A bit like a moose, yeah.

Well, caribou, as we can see here, Canadian.

-Sure.

-Newfoundland.

Newfoundland, by the way, was our first colony...

-Great Britain.

-Right.

-OK.

Natural History Depot, right.

James Gardner.

He had the Royal warrant.

-Any good?

-Well, go on, he got the...

Got the Royal warrant!

So really, what are we saying?

Are we saying this is the creme de la creme?

Are we talking, here,

something that is a fantastic specimen?

Now, I know you're trying to make a mark-up here

so therefore you're looking for a bit of the old profit,

which there's nothing wrong in that. That's what dealers do.

I'm just, you know, I'm being straight with you.

Taxidermy is not that easy to sell.

I'm finding that taxidermy, at the present, is on fire.

Well, that's great to hear.

The estimate I would recommend for this would be...

600-800.

-That should be worth more money than that!

-You can see...

You might sell it to someone in Newfoundland or New Zealand.

-Well, hey!

-I wanted you to say, really, "I can see that selling..."

You know, "I wouldn't be surprised whatsoever

"if it made four figures." That's what I wanted to hear.

You know, if I put it on the internet,

am I going to get £1,000?

-I think I will.

-Well, look, this is...

At the end of the day, what you must remember

is you do get one chance.

And that is up to you,

whatever chance you take.

With a decision to make, it's back up north for Danny.

But when he gets too tired to drive,

there's always the van.

This is me crib. So I've got me seats, which fold up.

It folds back down and then I've got, luckily enough,

a flight case which is the same height as the chair,

which makes it like a single bed.

Put a bit of wood down and then we're in, we're cooking with gas.

I've got me gas fire and all.

That's it.

-INTERVIEWER:

-You did that with your foot!

-Oh, you've got to.

The metal's too cold.

It ain't so bad.

Brings me back to my youth when I were camping.

You're quite tall, though, aren't you?

I've got to, sort of, you know, bend.

And it's not very comfortable, to be honest.

I've got my alarm to set on, make sure I wake up.

-'Rodney, Rodney!'

-Cor, bloody hell, they've started.

-'Wake up, you dipstick!'

-Shut up, you! Shut up!

ALARM BLARES

That's me alarm clock.

It's got old Rodney boy shouting in the back.

Just a little...

It's an alarm clock, really.

Oh, it's worth it.

Better will come.

So, you know, a bit of hopeful and wishful thinking, you know.

A bit of luck will drop in me lap, so to speak.

'Rodney, wake up, you dipstick!'

Obviously I didn't check them, even in London.

The next day I was showing someone, a potential customer.

And they said, "Oh, I'm not buying them." I said, "Why not?"

"The security tag's on them."

I'm lucky that they're not ink ones

so when I break them they're not going to damage.

They're easy enough to break. Sort of just...

Clip, boom, off.

I'm going to go down to Pontypridd Rugby Club

cos there's going to be a lot of people there,

a lot of cold people I'm hoping, that need some earmuffs.

-INTERVIEWER:

-What did you do to your ankle?

-I fell off a kerb.

Just tore my ligaments in my ankle

so I've got to keep this on for a few weeks.

Obviously I'm not going to let my ankle stop me for today.

I've hired myself a chauffeur for the day.

I know there's a load of women supporters

of the Pontypridd Rugby Club so...

Hopefully get down there

and that's going to be my target market for today.

Kate Moss might turn up today and try a pair of these on.

Sorted! Right then, off we go.

WIND HOWLS Whoa!

That's what I want to see, Kern. Lovely and windy.

What happens when it's windy? People get cold.

And when people get cold, boom, they need earmuffs.

Kern, the windier the better.

As long as this rain holds off, but, we'll be laughing.

Oh, Kern, go to the top, you nut.

Kern!

Is that...?

Oh, oh!

Today's match is a cup game

between home team Pontypridd and local rivals Newport.

Right, look at it, man. It's full.

It's full already. It's about an hour before kickoff.

The 28 pairs of earmuffs cost Ieuan and Kern 50p each.

They're hoping to sell them off, targeting women and children,

at £3 a pair.

-You try them on.

-They don't fit on my head really.

-Do you want to hold a few?

-Those three?

Our aim is to sort of just sell them all and that's...

Well, just sell them all, isn't it?

That's the whole idea of it.

Anyone want to buy some earmuffs, lads?

Keep you nice and warm while you're watching rugby.

Matching colours, lads!

His and his!

Kate Moss wears them, boys.

If it's good enough for Kate Moss, it's good enough for you lot.

I've just realised,

there's probably going to be a lot more men than women.

Every person that's walking by so far has been a man.

At this rate, we won't even have bus fare to get home.

HE WHISTLES

Back in Clitheroe, Danny's entered the caribou's head

into an online auction.

-What's the matter?

-I don't like it!

He's all right. Don't be ridiculous!

We're going to start specialising in this stuff.

-You're going to see a lot more.

-He's ugly.

I just hope that somebody finds it, you know, on the internet.

They find it. Cos once they find it and it's what they're looking for,

you're not going to get a better specimen.

Don't worry about that!

You know, it's just getting the right person to say to me, you know,

"Can you end it early?

"We'll give you five grand!"

With a reserve price of £750,

the family have gathered to watch the bidding countdown.

I think with this game, you know, this internet,

you can go mad in the last minute.

You know? You never know, we might be lucky.

There are 30 minutes until the auction closes.

199 watchers, now. Well, lookers.

People that have viewed the page, you know.

So as we're counting down,

there's more people looking at this page.

Don't worry!

18 minutes and counting.

I mean, a minute ago it was about 23.

It just keeps on going down now.

HE MUTTERS

I've got my adrenaline rolling!

-Refresh it.

-Refresh it, yeah.

All of a sudden, we're rolling at 6 minutes 21 seconds.

Like, it seems like 5 minutes ago it was at 20 minutes,

which I thought was too long.

But now six minutes sounds too short.

There's only three minutes left.

Oh, I'll have a bit of a drink.

We're going to have to have it here if it doesn't sell!

-I'm not having it here.

-It might have to be here for a bit.

-You should put it there.

-I'll put it in your room, Mum.

Time check is 1:25.

I'm getting anxious!

-You can see the sweat on your forehead.

-I know!

It's still with me.

Well, that's the way it goes.

You know, still got my moose with me.

It could also be seasonal, you know, something like a moose head,

-you know, Christmas...

-Yeah.

..might be a bit more favourable than selling that, you know...

HE STAMMERS

..something that looks a bit like a reindeer,

so it might be a bit more favourable selling it around the Christmas time

of year than what it is, you know, in the summer.

-The mirror is going.

-Get rid of that.

-Charming.

-Eh?

-Charming.

It's going to bring in strong money, I know that,

I've got 100% confidence that it's going to sell.

I tell you what, it can stop here for now,

but it's not here for the long term.

You're going to have to find a new hoose for this moose, OK?

And when it does sell, I want strong money for it, you know,

simple as that.

Right, give him a kiss.

You be careful with that now, Gracie, a lot of money's worth here.

Don't go banging it and thumping it.

Don't go patting and thumping it and mucking about with it too much.

Earmuffs keep you nice and warm when you're watching the rugby.

With quarter of an hour until kickoff,

Ieuan and Kern still haven't sold any of the earmuffs.

There's a couple of potential women customers

have walked down on the other side, so I think if we go closer

to the entrance, we'll have a better chance of selling some.

Got it?

Get the van out(!)

You get some knockdowns, but you've got to get back up fighting.

If you're having a really bad day, then that person you're trying

to sell to is going to think,

"I'm not going to go to him, he's miserable."

Ladies, can I interest you in some earmuffs?

Match your colours, £3 a pair.

Here you are, the dog as well. Do you two pairs for a fiver?

-The dog can have a pair as well.

-No, thank you.

Excuse me, madam, can I interest you in some earmuffs?

-Keep you nice and warm when you're watching the rugby.

-No, thank you.

-£3 a pair.

-All right.

-Brilliant. Thank you very much, ta.

Bigger ones. There you are. Thank you very much. Cheers, enjoy the game.

It all about sort of coming across being positive, erm, a bit of charm,

throw a few compliments out.

£3 a pair.

Madam at the back, don't think I haven't seen you.

Can I interest you in a pair of earmuffs?

That will draw people into it, you know. People go for the charm.

Kern, Kern, it's Kate Moss. Hello, madam, now I've got your attention,

can I interest you in some earmuffs? £3 a pair.

Keep yourselves lovely and warm

-when you're watching the rugby.

-No, thank you.

You sure? Can I have your autograph, then, seeing as Kate Moss is here?

Can I have your autograph? No?

-I tell you what, love, these nice pink ones.

-Are you sure?

-Brilliant.

That's £3, then, please.

You can have two for a fiver if you want.

Thank you. Cheers. Bye.

Sold about ten pairs. I've taken £30.

Out of that £30, £15 of it is profit

so two hours' work, £7.50 an hour. It's not too bad.

I am an actual optimist, yeah, you know, you have to be.

-INTERVIEWER:

-Do you believe one day you're going to be a millionaire?

One day, I reckon I'll be a millionaire, of course I do.

I'll be sat in some meeting somewhere or going to some business

convention, shaking hands with Richard Branson

and Lord Alan Sugar, you know, and maybe even buy him a pint.

So I feel... # Rolling, rolling, rolling... #

No, go past him, he wants.

I may even make enough money that I can give all my family

and friends some as well, so that's what we live for - hope.

-This time next year, we'll be back.

-Yeah.

HE CHUCKLES

You actually mentioned it, that it looked like a Rolex.

If this proves to be genuine, a real Rolex watch,

then you're looking at roughly about £5,000.

One pound, one pound, one pound, one pound, one pound, two.

I want to be more of a businesswoman

and not just a... someone who's playing with it.

Over the top!

House auction on Saturday, mate. House auction on Saturday.

I'll be the auctioneer, don't worry about that.

We're going to go with lot number one.

-Where's

-lot...

Lot number one, Jo.