Tue, 05 Dec 2017 21:30 Y Byd ar Bedwar

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-In 2015,

-there were 350 suicides in Wales.

-274 were men.

-This is the story of two.

-For over 20 years, the

-Aberglaslyn Mountain Rescue Team...

-..have served the mountains

-and hills of South Gwynedd.

-I've been a member

-of this team since 2000.

-I was a member of a neighbouring

-team for four years before that.

-Dion Llwyd-Hopcroft from Harlech

-is one of the team's leaders.

-Every Monday night,

-he organises training sessions...

-..for the volunteer crew.

-A lot of people ask us why we do it.

-I love being out on the mountain.

-It's nice giving something back

-to help people in trouble.

-Rescuing walkers and climbers

-is only one part of the work.

-The number of suicides they've seen

-is increasing.

-In Wales, men are three times more

-likely to commit suicide than women.

-Ready? Brace. Lift.

-There's definitely a problem.

-It's not just us, as a team.

-I suspect that every team

-in North Wales sees the same thing.

-It's happening more often now

-than ever before.

-On February 29, 2016...

-..Dion and the team searched

-for an 18-year-old man...

-..who had gone missing.

-His name was Josh Llwyd-Hopcroft,

-Dion's youngest son.

-We were worried that he'd fallen

-and injured himself, you never know.

-There was no sign of him

-and weather conditions were poor.

-At 5.00am, there was no sign of him.

-Obviously, I couldn't sleep.

-I went out myself about 6.00am

-with the dogs.

-I searched for two hours.

-There was no sign of him.

-I was pulled into

-a patch of forest by the dogs...

-..and we found Josh's body.

-That's when our lives changed

-for the worst.

-Josh had hung himself.

-Dion called a member of the mountain

-rescue team to guard the body...

-..while he returned home

-to break the news to his family...

-..Ceri, Sion and Shannon.

-I returned to the scene with Sion.

-We placed his body on a stretcher

-and brought him back here...

-..for the final time.

-I was determined to do

-something like that for him.

-Josh used to attend Ysgol Ardudwy.

-After his 18th birthday

-a month earlier...

-..he'd considered joining the Army.

-Josh was a boy

-who liked getting his own way.

-He liked...

-..spending time with his friends.

-He seemed a happy boy.

-We've looked back so many times.

-There was nothing evident to us,

-as parents...

-..that something was wrong.

-According to his mother, Sue, Josh

-had a happy upbringing in Harlech.

-He was a very popular boy.

-Losing him so suddenly

-was a devastating blow for her.

-Heart-breaking.

-It's...

-You never want to hear that your son

-has taken his own life.

-There's not one day that goes by...

-I do wish he was here.

-When he went, he took a piece

-of my heart with him.

-In Harlech train station,

-there's a memorial board to Josh.

-# No more bad days

-# It's clear from here #

-On it, the title

-of one of his favourite songs...

-..and messages from his family

-and friends.

-There were 6,188 suicides

-in Britain in 2015.

-4,622 were men.

-74% of the total.

-Stiwt Theatr,

-Rhosllannerchrugog, near Wrexham.

-The building

-was constructed in 1926...

-..funded by local miners.

-The Stiwt means a lot

-to its general manager, Rhys Davies.

-My parents performed here.

-Most of the family.

-The Stiwt is important to the people

-of Rhos and my family in particular.

-After starting to perform

-on this stage...

-..one of Rhys' older brothers

-built a professional career...

-..as a singer, musician and actor.

-He was a very interesting person.

-He was a lot of fun,

-he'd make faces.

-He made people laugh

-most of the time.

-He was great as a brother,

-to be honest.

-He was happy to be

-in a crowd of people...

-..and people were happy

-to be with him too.

-Dafydd Dafis

-was a familiar face on S4C.

-He was renowned as a singer

-and saxophonist.

-He acted in numerous

-popular TV dramas.

-Wow.

-Well done, Daf.

-Over the past few years, acting

-and TV work had started to dry up.

-He'd battled depression

-for many years.

-In April 2017, he went missing.

-He did go out sometimes

-and no-one really knew where he was.

-He'd be out all night and no-one

-knew if he was with friends...

-..or sleeping out in the open air.

-I think he was, he did spend

-some nights in the open air.

-He'd tried to take his own life

-once before.

-In the past year,

-his brother had feared the worst.

-A knock on the door in the middle

-of the night on Monday.

-Two police officers

-standing at the door.

-They said they'd found Dafydd.

-That's how we heard about it.

-Dafydd Dafis had hung himself.

-He was 58 years old.

-At the time, he lived in this house

-in Beaumaris, Anglesey.

-The days of starring in Porthpenwaig

-and Rownd a Rownd had long gone.

-He'd stopped performing

-and was making a living as a chef.

-For his close friend,

-Rhys Parry Jones...

-..seeing the change in him

-was heart-breaking.

-Seeing Dafydd losing hope and losing

-interest in the things he loved.

-Both mediums, music and acting.

-It was horrible.

-It was horrible to see.

-The actor's body was discovered

-by a security officer...

-..near one of Bangor University's

-buildings in Menai Bridge.

-Dafydd had definitely researched

-how he'd end his life.

-Maybe he'd researched where,

-I'm not sure.

-Somewhere he'd be left alone,

-oh, God.

-He'd often walk in this area.

-From Beaumaris,

-he'd walk four or five miles a day.

-He didn't leave a note...

-..but he left his passport

-so that he could be identified...

-..and a newspaper article.

-He kept an article

-from the Guardian.

-A lady called Brampton who

-committed suicide when she was 60.

-She wrote about depression in

-her memoirs "Shoot the Damn Dog."

-"Killing oneself is,

-anyway, a misnomer.

-"We don't kill ourselves.

-"We are simply defeated by the

-long, hard struggle to stay alive."

-That's the truth about Dafydd,

-without a doubt.

-Are you still angry with Dafydd?

-At the time, yes.

-I'm not angry now at all.

-Not at all now.

-No.

-Everyone's just...

-Everyone was just glad

-that they'd met him and knew him.

-And... everyone...

-..misses him.

-There we go.

-.

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-It's 5.00pm on a Friday.

-Dion Llwyd-Hopcroft is about to

-set off from his home in Llanfair...

-..on a walking trip.

-Ceri wants a picture.

-See you later.

-With his friend, Kieron,

-he intends to walk all night...

-..to raise awareness for a cause

-that's close to his heart.

-We're walking from home,

-along the coastal path...

-..heading northwards

-for 24 hours without a break.

-We're raising money

-to fund a new project...

-..in my son's name

-after we lost him last year.

-Dion is a builder.

-He will use the money he collects

-to build Josh's Tree House...

-..which will provide a location

-for grieving people...

-..to speak to

-experienced counsellors.

-I don't think there's enough help

-out there for people...

-..who suffer with mental illness

-or who've lost someone.

-Losing someone is a major event.

-I'd never realised the importance

-of having the support...

-..of family and friends and

-information about coping with loss.

-I want to give something back

-to the people who helped us...

-..during the time we lost Josh.

-Three hours later,

-Dion reaches Penrhyndeudraeth.

-Josh is never far from my mind.

-Would he be proud of you?

-Yes, guaranteed.

-He'd be at my side,

-supporting me and laughing at me.

-At 7.00am, he's in Criccieth.

-It's a difficult journey

-and the strain is evident.

-It's been very difficult,

-to be honest...

-..not just physically but

-there's been a lot to think about.

-I'm thinking a lot about Josh.

-When I've been tired,

-I've been thinking about it more.

-What kind of things

-go through your mind?

-It's just the loss, I miss him.

-Harlech,

-and the journey is almost over.

-Four minutes to go.

-We've been walking for 24 hours.

-We've walked 50 miles...

-..since we started.

-I feel quite emotional now.

-Well done.

-Well done.

-Plans for Josh's Tree House have

-been presented to Gwynedd Council.

-After the journey, this father

-is more determined than ever...

-..to complete the project

-in memory of his son.

-I've had a lot of time to think

-over the past 20 hours...

-..to work out where we go from here.

-The most important thing for us

-is to construct this building...

-..and see where we go from there

-and what help we can give others.

-In Wales, 30-34 year old men are

-more likely to take their own lives.

-The Samaritans received

-over 5.7 million calls last year.

-A rise of 300,000 since 2015.

-I've been a volunteer with

-the Samaritans for over 20 years.

-I'm on my way to the centre.

-This man answers calls

-to the Samaritans in Bangor.

-He knows how difficult it is

-to get men to talk.

-I think women speak more freely

-amongst themselves...

-..about their feelings

-and experiences, than men do.

-Men don't share so much and try

-and maintain a macho attitude.

-They're not as willing

-to discuss their feelings.

-He's seen depression tipping men

-over the edge in recent years.

-It can affect everyone.

-Young men in their teens, middle

-aged men, it's indiscriminate.

-Share your burdens...

-..speak to someone

-if you're in any kind of trouble.

-Whatever your feelings,

-if you have suicidal thoughts...

-..speak to someone.

-On June 9, 2017, there were inquests

-into four suicides in Caernarfon.

-The coroner described male suicides

-as an epidemic.

-One of the cases

-was the death of Dafydd Dafis.

-It was completely shocking.

-I couldn't believe

-it was happening so often.

-The frequency of cases for men

-was once a week.

-It was shocking.

-I hope that one of the things

-that comes out of this...

-..is making sure

-that it doesn't happen...

-..to other people

-and other families.

-I'm sure it will...

-..but if it can help...

-..or it can save the life

-of one person, it's something.

-In 2008, Dafydd Dafis performed

-on stage for the final time.

-By then, he was seeking

-professional help for depression.

-I know that he received help

-for a while.

-That was some time ago.

-For some reason,

-it didn't last long.

-I'm not sure

-who gave up on the idea...

-..Dafydd or the people helping him.

-It didn't last long.

-Maybe he didn't receive the answers

-he wanted or expected.

-Flesh immortalised in art.

-He received praise

-for his performance...

-..in Theatr Genedlaethol's

-production of Iesu!...

-..but he found it difficult

-to socialise.

-He rarely contacted close friends

-like Rhys Parry Jones.

-He told me one afternoon after a

-long period of not being in touch...

-..and this happened regularly...

-..he said, "I can see your name

-on my phone and I want to answer...

-"..but I can't

-because of the illness."

-The actor lives in Cardiff

-and feels angry...

-..that he couldn't have done more

-to help his friend.

-Dafydd used to say

-during his final months...

-.."Come up, I could do with a hug."

-He was just so lonely.

-That he was that lonely

-during his final moments...

-..that's heart-breaking.

-Dafydd Dafis was 58 years old

-when he took his own life.

-He's still here in some ways.

-We know he's gone

-and we miss him so much...

-..but his work and his legacy

-have been left behind.

-The Ysgethin Inn.

-Dion Llwyd-Hopcroft

-and his family have organised...

-..a day of the dead event

-as part of the campaign...

-..to raise money

-for Josh's Tree House.

-It's an opportunity for friends

-and family to celebrate Josh's life.

-Josh's best friends

-are here tonight.

-We've watched them grow up.

-It makes us wonder

-what Josh would look like now.

-It's almost two years

-since we lost him.

-The only memory we have

-is the time we lost him.

-People change as they get older.

-That's difficult, that's very

-difficult to come to terms with.

-Dylan Trahearn is one of

-Josh's friend since primary school.

-We used to do everything together.

-He'd work, I'd come home from work

-and then I'd go up to see him.

-I'd stay in his house,

-he'd stay in mine.

-We'd wear each other's clothes.

-Good times.

-No-one knows for sure

-why Josh took his own life.

-His friends are still wondering

-why he did something so extreme.

-He told me

-he'd come out as bisexual.

-It was the best thing he'd done.

-He was happy.

-When I had the phone call

-the following day...

-..I was devastated, heartbroken.

-His family and friends

-suspect online bullying...

-..had influenced his mind

-during his final days.

-His father is hard on himself...

-..for not spotting

-that something serious was wrong.

-I question myself all the time. Why?

-Sometimes, it eats me up

-that I didn't spot the symptoms...

-..that there was something wrong.

-As a parent, are you as a parent

-there to look after your children?

-I feel guilty...

-..and I'm hard on myself for not

-spotting the symptoms with Josh.

-That's what's difficult for me

-to come to terms with.

-# No more bad days #

-It's 18 months since Josh

-Llwyd-Hopcroft took his own life.

-The family battles to cope

-with the void his death left behind.

-His father urges those

-with mental health problems...

-..to ask for help

-before it gets too late.

-People must share their problems.

-At the end of the day,

-if you don't share your problems...

-..I think the only thing it will do

-is eat away at you.

-I'm 100% sure that if Josh had come

-to us to say something was wrong...

-..I know we could have

-sorted it out somehow or other.

-# I will always carry you

-# 'Cause you are sweet and pure

-# Yeah, you are beautiful

-# In everything you do #

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.