Episode 1 Autumnwatch Unsprung

That's it, that's the end of Autumnwatch 2012. The foxes,

badgers, because, they have all retired. It is the end. Friday

night, 9:30pm, what shall we do? Down the pub, there might be a quiz

on it. There is! This is a lot in a pub quiz, you can play along at

home. Firstly we have to turn this place into a pub. Lovely. What is

this pub? Of course! We need some teams. Would you introduce your

team? It is my great pleasure to introduce a lady with three degrees

in natural sciences and one of the Rangers here. And a gentleman who

can only be described as the greatest asset and secret weapon

any pub quiz could need when it comes to natural history, Sir John.

Your team, please? This is the most intelligent person on our team, the

dog! Gary and Alan is a naturalist. And wildlife cameraman, Lynsey

McRae. We could not do the quiz without this person, the beautiful

Jill. -- Gill. Not quite sure how will this go. First thing, mystery

object. This is for you at home will stop the mystery objects,

police. Don't say, teams, you can have a quick look. Here is the

first object. We have a still of it. It is very small. Did I get the

right one for us? The second one is this, what on her is that? It is

from Joseph. Here is the last one. I cannot really touch it, it is too

delicate. What is that? Are there any other pubs in the neighbourhood

we might go to! On to the next round, small talk. Chris, some

local children, where were they from? They are going to describe

for us and animal. Watch the children, they will describe it

three times and it will get easier. The same animal. Here is the first

one. He here it is. The legs looks like it is a spiky trees. It could

probably nip your eye. It is blue and purple. Sort of black. It is

not black, it is brown. What! We love children, don't we? I heard

the end of it. It looks like a six legged bill. Has it got it legs?

has things coming out of its head. I at the top, it is all pointy and

they have little bits at the side. What! What do you think it is? It

is all the same thing. I am going to go for a spider. That is wrong,

I'm afraid. Did the child say it had eight legs? It was quite tricky

to hear. Let's go to the next but will stop it could stay new or

consume. It could net your eye out. It has other things behind it. They

look like little twigs. Red and tears. Is it a lobster? No, you get

no points. It is a stag beetle. don't think they are the naturalist

of tomorrow! Onto the next one. You have the hang of it now. Here come

the children for your animal. looks like a sea lion. It is like a

dog. I don't know, some sort of thing. It hops like a deer or a

kangaroo. The last one give it away. Any ideas? You have three points if

you get this right. Here is the next one. It is big. It has four

legs. Orange, light brown, yellow head. It looks like he eats meat.

It has holes in his ears to hear things. I think they've got it

wrong. What do you think? I think it is a deer. I think it is a red

deer. Let's go to the next one. Give Michaele a Strachan's team at

one point for getting very close. Where other buzzers? Here is years,

can you shake it and make a noise? This is a quick-fire round and

these are questions that you have set. Standby on the buzzers. Which

group of birds are the only ones capable of seeing the colour blue.

I do know that one, it is from Australia. Which a British bird?

They are capable of seeing a blue. Like kestrels. Give them one point,

it is an alert. Can I just say... Bower birds do see blue, they are

very interesting birds. This is a fantastic round. It is a sound

round. Firstly, listen to these sounds. What you think that is? Get

a pencil and scribble it down. it Gary? It is not a dog. We think

it is a deer. Correct. Next one. it a tawny all with a sore throat?

The third one. That was you! What you think it is? Red deer. Last one

of these sounds. Cuckoo. The real point of this quiz, it is called

Animal or manner more. Which of those sounds was made by an animal

or a human being impersonating an animal? Let's go to the first one.

Listen closely. That was made by a man. I think that could be a man.

OK, can we reveal the answer? Very good! Next one quickly. Man. I

reckon man. Let us hear it again. Very good! OK, next one. That is

definitely a man. Please reveal it. Well done! The last one, here we go.

I would say and are not. Animal. I can do a good impression. It is a

How are we doing on the scores? Chris's team has eight and

This is a picture round. How many different animals can you find in

This is for the audience at home. You, at home. Count up as many

animals as you can in this picture. Can you guys see it OK? There are

many animals in here. You have to wroit these down. We need a --

write these down. We need a pen. How are you getting on at home? Go

What is it? Don't tell them. You are canvassing opinion from the

audience. Take a mark off Michaela, please. Cruel, but fair. I wasn't!

I promise you! Nearly there, chaps? We have not

written them down. You have to write them down. Quick!

Come on, we have to do it now. Write them down, quick, quick,

quick. Pass them over to the other side.

Go on, pass them over to the other side. OK. Oh!

I haven't got the animals with me. Where are they? We'll test you. You

set it. Here comes the first one. Red squirrel.

Tick them off, please. Have you got a pen still? Tick them off. And the

next one is a hedgehog. The ears are the hedgehog. The next

one. Thank you for these photos, people.

The eyes of the pine marten. Are you ticking them off? I'm not busy

here. Next one. The cat.

Is that a wildcat, Chris? Well... On to the next one. It's a spider.

That was the spider. That's very clever. Next one - any

more? That was it. The last one. Red squirrel and wildcat.

Only one. Hands on buzzers.

She's lost it! OK. This question comes from Joe

Hunter on Facebook. Thank you very much, Joe. OK, how many litres of

methane - I will give you three options does a cow produce in a day.

We are talking wind. Is it five litres, 50 litres or 500 litres?

50. You are both wrong. It is 500. No, way!

Thank you very much, Joe for that question.

Animal collectives now. Now, can you bring on the hats, please. If

you can all put on one of those hats - both sides. These are words

used to describe large groups of animals. I think the actual picture

- now the pictures are on the table. If you pick up your envelope and

take out the pictures, now you have to select the animal from those

pictures that matches the collective.

Does that make sense? Kind of! Hang on to the ones that you think

matches your hat. What about theirs? They are doing the same

thing. OK, could it be a goldfinch?

Am I showing them to people at home?

OK, here they are. We have a bullfinch. Could it be a bullfinch?

OK. One, or could it be a lapwing. That is one of the other ones. A

crow. They are rather beautifully done. What did them? Well done.

Brilliant. Well done. She's hiding. Hedgehog. Whoops - last one.

Raven. OK! Here we go.

Do you reckon you've got them. How are we going to reveal this?

Chris and Michaela reveal yours. It is right lapwing, a deceit. If

you are sitting comfortably. They were often associated with ladies

with lose morals. There was an association of ladies of the night,

of lose morals. Lapwings were known as deceitful birds.

Good knowledge. Was he right? He was. Sorry, after all that.

John and Gary, please reveal what you think a bellowing is. You are

both correct. That must mean something. Would you

reveal your herds, please? A herd of WRENS. A herd of

hedgehogs. It's a herd of WRENS. -- wrens.

The scores, please? Chris's team have 12, but Michaela's team have

ten. A group of rhino because it is a good one is a crash.

We will try and rip through this fast. I have to do this quickly.

This is what happened next? Have we got them ready? Yes. OK, you have

got to tell me what happened next. Have a look at this. Wait until the

There's a mean look in those eyes. She's made up her mind to charge

the boat. Look at the lady presenter.

She picks up a gun. Can I say, that's not British

wildlife. What do you think happens next? Humphrey Bogart steams in on

the African Queen. I think she bites her bottom.

Let's reveal what happened. She has used her women's privilege

and changed her mind! Michaela won as well, otherwise my

life would not be good! One more of I mean, look at the clouds. I know,

I just wanted to take it out today. Perhaps the sun will shine tomorrow.

Perhaps I can sit on your lap. Are you quite comfortable? You are!

That's good. Oh, my goodness me!

Is that all right? How's the little one? Look, don't you think you

ought to support his head like this?

What happens next? Johnnie goes to the dry cleaners!

Gary thinks something different to me. Think having handled apes a lot,

I think the little one goes and picks the nose of Johnnie Morris.

Shall we see. Look f you are so blinking clever,

you nurse him. Go on. Gary got it right.

Sorry, Gary. Give Michaela - it was very, very

good. OK, how long have we got? We will reveal the mystery objects now.

Nobody got them all right. The first one is a tooth or some kind

of shrew leg bone. A fungi and a squid skwil or a pen from a squid.

OK. Let's deal with... Let's deal with A, first of all. Do you want

to handle it at all? You first. Have a look at the picture.

Can I give it to the other team now?Th -- What do you think?

OK, are you ready? Seen it enough? Chris's team first of all. What do

you think it is My colleagues say they think it is a part of a

squirrel. It is a pen nis bone and in fact, very many mammals have

penis bones. We are quite unlucky. Many species have these things.

think a penis bone of a squirrel. Funly enough I was going to say

exactly that! Hang on!

I was. Exactly those words as well. Are you going for that as well. You

are absolutely right. I actually extracted that myself.

It was a road kill one. It wasn't live!

On the end it has a sharp point and that is meant to rupture the

highmen of the female squirrel. Second one. Would you like to show

that off at all? What do you think this is? It looks

like a doughnut or something. I will show it to the camera, so the

audience can look at home. Absolutely a weird looking thing.

OK!? Ask us first because we were going to say the same - it is some

sort of fungus, isn't it? That's as far as we have got.

A parasite on a fungus. It's not a slime mould.

I am going to have to hurry you. It looks like it might be fungus.

We cannot go better than that. is a fungus. It is called the

bleeding tooth fungus. A point each. They both did extremely well. OK,

the last one, quickly. What do you think that is? That's been brought

here for us. What do you think it is? What can

It has obviously been in the water. It is obviously one of the

supermarket bags. What do you think? It is definitely marine and

I think it is an egg case of a cutle fish.

It is the internal structure. It may be a small cutle fish.