Episode 22 Landward

SHEEP BLEAT

We've got high-flying birds and deep-swimming fish,

but here on Landward, we like to keep our feet firmly on the ground.

Hello, and a very warm welcome to Landward.

This week, I'm on the River Earn,

where local anglers are deeply upset at the prospect

of giving up their hobby,

but first, here's what else is coming up on the programme.

Guest presenter Martel Maxwell discovers the dangerous world

of the potato men.

I've been to Beirut,

and had to follow a convoy of Hezbollah guerrillas out of town.

I've been in Israel when there was mortars flying over the car.

-I really got a taste for it...

-I meet Jim Smith -

farmer by day, stand-up by night.

I was very grateful for the farming community came out to support me.

It was quite a sight in Edinburgh, seeing all these guys

with checked shirts and tweed jackets walking up.

-Hey, that's all the rage now.

-Absolutely.

OK, pull.

And Sarah finds out what's different about all-women shooting clubs.

Have you got used to all the cheering yet after the shots?

There's a few of that with the ladies' days. That's for sure.

GEESE SHRIEK

But first, at this time of year,

you are never far away from the cry of geese.

Euan's been to find out a bit more about our visitors from abroad.

Iceland - famous for its beautiful, snowy hills,

geysers, and fresh waters,

but the winters can be a bit too chilly for some.

They've got to escape.

And this is one of the places that they flock to.

I'm at Montrose Basin.

It's 5:30am in the morning.

It's cold and it's dark, and believe it or not,

pink-footed geese absolutely love these conditions.

So, another goose count.

Now, we had the record number last time,

so fingers crossed for another high number today.

'Volunteers and rangers recently spotted record numbers

'of the birds here - more than 85,000.

'But counting them is no easy task,

'as I'm about to find out, with the help of ranger Anna Cheshire.'

-So this is the hide?

-There's quite a few through here, yeah.

We are counting pink-footed geese today,

but you can find others in Scotland,

including greylag,

barnacle,

-and Canada.

-GOOSE HONKS

'As we head towards the mudflats, it's starting to get light,

'and I can't but help feel apprehensive.'

GEESE SHRIEK

There are thousands here. How do you do it?

I mean, presumably, they all come in one big whoosh?

You sort of get used to counting them in numbers of hundreds,

rather than individuals, when they go out in groups like that.

-So it's just kind of, chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk.

-Yes, yeah.

So are they quite spooky at the moment?

They're certainly awake, because they were making

a lot of noise before, so we may not have a long wait.

'But as ever on Landward - famous last words.'

Well, it's coming up to 8am.

We've been here for two and a half hours and, still,

the geese are out there, but there's a lot going on.

You've got the shelducks have been piling in.

Every now and again, you get the call of the curlews.

But all the time, this vast army of geese, just standing and waiting,

and I'm told it's partly because the weather is quite good,

but their digestive system is lousy, so their bellies will be full,

so there's no great incentive for them to get up

and go out to the fields.

I'm sure it'll happen, but at the moment, we'll have to wait.

BIRDS SHRIEK

'But around half an hour later, things do start to happen.'

First the geese take to the skies, in dribs and drabs,

and then the magical moment

when it's time to start counting in earnest.

This is impossible.

We'll just have to go for it.

-I'm counting blocks of 1000, at the moment.

-Mm-hmm.

BIRDS SHRIEK

So why's there so many geese here in Montrose Basin?

Well, Montrose is one of the first places that the geese will

actually make landfall when they migrate from Iceland.

They can do it in about two days, so pretty speedy.

In fact, one was tracked last year,

and they can be travelling at 58km per hour.

But why Montrose?

I mean, what's the attraction of being in the mudflats for the geese?

Well, the geese really like Montrose Basin.

It's an enclosed estuary,

and because they can be out that bit onto the estuary, they've got

that bit of an advantage if any predators are coming for them.

They can see them before they get to them.

GEESE SHRIEK

-So, you've got the guys all round here.

-That's right, yeah.

I mean, I've made mine 17,300.

-Did you?

-Yeah.

-That's very interesting.

-What did you get?

-Shall I tell you?

-Yeah.

-I got 18,767.

-Yes.

So I think you're on the team.

How good is that?

So, we go back and find out what the rest of the guys got.

Yeah, I think that's a good idea,

and tally up, and see how many we've got altogether.

-Exciting.

-That's made my day.

-Oh, I'm pleased with you.

-THEY LAUGH

'And I'm rather pleased with myself too.'

Can I have the totals from the visitor centre, please?

Back at the visitor centre,

it's time to collect the numbers from all the other volunteers.

That's great, and at Tayock, we had 18,760.

'And the total -

'34,983.'

Great. Thanks, everyone.

Well, that was incredible,

and really worthwhile getting out of bed early for.

Now, over the next few weeks,

most of these birds will be heading south in search of food,

but some do stay here for the winter, so you've got

plenty of time to get up early and see them in full flight.

GEESE SHRIEK

Earlier in the series,

we reported on the three-year ban on coastal salmon netting.

It's part of the Government's Wild Fisheries Review.

'The Review's aim is to manage, conserve

'and develop our wild fisheries,

'to maximise the sustainable benefit of

'Scotland's wild fish resources to the country as a whole.'

The coastal fishing ban was seen as a victory for angling bodies,

but now, they, too, are being affected by

the Wild Fisheries Review.

As part of the Review, every river in Scotland has been categorised.

The salmon stocks in category-one rivers - the areas marked in blue -

are deemed sustainable, and no action is required.

The grey areas cover category-two rivers,

which need a conservation plan to be put in place,

and the rest of Scotland, coloured beige,

features category-three rivers,

where exploitation of salmon is deemed unsustainable,

and a mandatory "catch and release" rule is put in place,

meaning no salmon can be killed.

And it's that third category that's causing the most controversy.

The decisions were made by Marine Scotland,

which is the Government body responsible for all fisheries.

I've come to the River Earn,

which has been declared a third-category river,

which means the salmon can be caught but not killed.

'David Somers represents the Tay District Salmon Fishery Board.

'He thinks, when it comes to the River Earn,

'the Government needs to rethink their decision.'

Uh-huh.

David, why did Marine Scotland come to the conclusion that this

was a category-three river?

Well, I would say there's probably two main reasons.

The first is that the benchmark which this river is compared with,

something called the conservation limit,

is partly derived from the River North Esk,

-which is a productive Highland river.

-Hmm.

It's a much better River, inherently,

for producing young salmon than the Earn is,

and ever will be, or ever was.

And it's a benchmark that's actually unattainable for this river.

It's inappropriate for it, so, A, it'll never reach that,

and the second reason is it that

they compare the benchmark with catches.

Now, the last two or three years here, for example,

the autumns have been very dry.

-There's been droughts and the fishing's been very poor.

-Yeah.

Irrespective of however many salmon there are in the river.

So, if you're not catching fish, for whatever reason,

you're not reporting them,

then it is deemed there are no fish in the river.

Now, that's clearly nonsense.

'Local angling groups have also been shocked by the decision.

'Tom Monaghan is secretary of the River Earn Improvement Association.

'He's giving me a casting lesson.'

So, not too fast on the front stroke.

Up to ten o'clock, and then forward...

'But we can't fish for salmon today -

'they aren't in season - but grayling are.'

So, Tom, what's the reaction been amongst your members that this has

become a category-three River?

Well, Dougie, there's been one of surprise, really,

because what we have here in the Earn

is a very stable rolling five-year average catch

of 800 salmon per year,

-and that's been gauged over the last 20 years and beyond.

-Uh-huh.

Some years, we have more fish than that.

Some, during drought years, we have less,

but the trend has been upwards.

Tom says the anglers here are very aware of conservation,

and typically release 80% of the salmon they catch,

but they do like to be able to take the odd fish home.

We've already done straw polls

up and down the associations on the river

and if people aren't going to be allowed to take the occasional

fish for the pot, they certainly won't renew their membership.

Now, that will have a devastating effect on the future of salmon

conservation in this river because as a body,

we rely purely on donations.

We can only survive on donations.

Tom has taken me to one of the Earn's tributaries to show me

the type of work his association does.

Volunteers are clearing a potential blockage to salmon migration.

Now, if we can keep this going on an ongoing basis,

we will ensure that the salmon

and sea trout will be able to spawn in these river unfettered.

If the build-ups continue and the conservation work finishes,

then salmon and sea trout won't have access into these streams.

Tom and his fellow anglers on the River Earn want

the government to reconsider their position.

We asked the minister for rural affairs for an interview,

but she was unavailable.

However, the government did send us this statement.

"Restrictions on our fisheries are never taken lightly,

"but action to conserve stocks is, in the long term,

"essential to protect the sustainability of the communities

"and the ecosystems that they support."

The government went on to say it is aware of the concerns that

have been expressed by the River Earn Improvement Trust

and officials from Marine Scotland will be meeting the Trust

later this month to provide clarification on the Earn's

classification as a category three river.

If you'd like to get involved in the debate

over the management of our countryside,

you can do via our Facebook page,

or e-mail...

As we travel about Scotland, we like to stop and ask the folk

we meet on the street what they love about the local area.

Crieff sits on the banks of the River Earn

and on the Highland Boundary Fault Line,

which splits the Highlands over there with the Lowlands down there.

Imagine I'm coming here for the very first time

and there's something that I must do here.

What would you say is the thing that I must experience?

Oh, well... Well, first of all, the welcome is very warm.

The Crieff people are very friendly.

Are you running away from me there, are you?

-Uh-huh. I'm in a hurry!

-Right you are. No bother.

I would run away from me as well.

There's two or three nice pubs in Crieff. The tower.

Get a nice meal up there.

The scenery round about is beautiful,

so if you want to take a walk anywhere,

just five minutes up the hill there and you're into beautiful woodland.

Do you work for the tourist board?

I don't, but if you're offering me a job, I'll happily take one.

You should be Chief Executive, in my opinion.

Actors Ewan McGregor and his uncle Denis Lawson were both brought up

in Crieff and they both feature in the Star Wars movies.

Yes, the Force is indeed strong in Crieff.

HE MAKES LIGHTSABER NOISES

It's not a real lightsaber, is it? No.

-What would you say I've got to do? It could be anything at all.

-Erm...

-Coffee?

-Cake, Campbell's Bakery down the road.

There's Lady Mary's Walk. There's lots of nice walks.

And afterwards, Delivino's for lunch

just round the corner.

What's the most romantic place or the most romantic thing about Crieff, would you say?

-The park.

-The park?

-Yeah. A beautiful park there.

So that's what the people of Crieff think is the best thing

about the town, but I reckon this deserves a mention.

Just up from Lady Mary's Walk is this 600-year-old oak tree,

said to have once sheltered both Bonnie Prince Charlie

and Rob Roy MacGregor.

These days, not a bad place for a swing.

For the next few weeks, we have a guest presenter

who hails from further down the Tay river system in Dundee.

Martel Maxwell has been looking at her area's reputation

for innovation in potato production.

I've been taking my first Landward task very seriously.

I've been doing my research on Egypt, Morocco, Israel...

I can't wait!

No, obviously I'm not going to sunnier climes,

but there is one Scottish product which is, in droves.

I'm talking about seed potatoes and exports are soaring.

A record number have been sent to non-EU countries in the past year.

Egypt tops the list of destinations.

It's also the biggest international market for Rob Doig

from Caithness Potatoes in Perthshire.

-Hi, Rob.

-Hi, Martel.

-How are you doing?

-Good, thanks. How are you?

Good thanks. Take me back to basics. What are seed potatoes?

I mean, these are seed potatoes.

And the only difference between these

and the normal potatoes you eat is these are the ones

that are designed to be super healthy to plant in the ground,

to grow really good crops of potatoes next year

that people are the going to eat the potatoes of.

OK. And they're especially popular in Egypt. Why is that?

Well, it's because Egypt's a very hot country and the potato diseases

that make them yield less really like hot weather.

Scotland of course is a very cold country

so we have an ideal climate to produce healthy seed potatoes

to send to them

so that they can grow super healthy crops of potatoes over there.

-So we give them a good start.

-We give them a good start.

OK. And the boxes in the background there, where are they off to?

Er, well, we're loading potatoes to Egypt, as you mentioned,

and we're also loading to two of the Canary Islands.

The Canaries are fourth on the Scottish export list and Robert also

sends seed potatoes to places like Morocco, Israel, Iraq and Syria.

So this truck's off to the Canary Islands, so that's 25 tonnes

of our nice Scottish seed potatoes heading off to a sunnier clime.

Uh-huh. How many potatoes is that?

Martel!

No, I don't expect you to know.

And often it'll be countries... War-torn countries, Syria, Iraq.

Have you ever been out to visit these countries?

Er, I've been to some of them in times of strife, if you like.

I've been to Beirut

and had to follow a convoy of Hezbollah guerrillas out of town.

I've been in Israel when there was mortars flying over the car.

These are the countries and the places our customers live

and work in and we're inclined to trust them.

If they say it's safe to go, we trust that it's safe to go.

And when you see your truck finally head off, how does it make you feel?

Oh, it's great. I mean, that's a nice job.

Potatoes going out of the country, money coming back in.

It's good for us, it's good for Scotland,

it's good for everybody, really.

A funny concept to think people could be

enjoying your tatties in Tenerife.

Yeah, it's quite cool. Amazingly, I've never been to Tenerife.

I've been to some of these other places.

I've never been there. Isn't that terrible?

But the hard work's not over for Rob.

There are three more containers still to go.

That's two million potatoes! Small fry really.

I love hearing that Scotland's really nailing it at something

and we're certainly doing that with seed potatoes.

But what really surprises me is the range of countries we export to.

My visit here today has really whetted my appetite

for the next part in my exploration of the Tayside tatty industry.

Farming these days is a serious business with money being so tight.

However, one farmer is determined to have a laugh in his working life.

I've been to meet the Perthshire farmer with a calling for comedy.

Ladies and gentlemen, you'll love this. You'll absolutely love this.

I love this - this is a great joke. You'll love this. OK, here we go.

A farmer walks into a comedy club, right?

BOO!

How very rude!

Jim Smith is a man with a double life. Farmer by day...

Hup! There they go. There they go. Hup!

Get on!

..and comedian by night.

Are you all city slickers? Is there any tcheuchters in here tonight?

Or at least on the nights when he's not lambing,

calving or involved in the harvest.

-How's it going, Jim?

-Hello, Dougie. How are you getting on?

-Not bad.

-How are you?

-I'm good, thanks. Nice to see you.

Now, this isn't very show business. What are you doing?

No, this is the bread and butter, Dougie.

My first love, which is farming.

So farming's your first love, how did you get into comedy then?

Well, I really got a taste for it

when I was involved in Young Farmers competitions

at the East Area Cabaret

and then we did pantomimes as well

so started writing the scripts for that.

So I got a bug all out of Young Farmers, really.

So how do you manage to balance being a farmer and a comedian?

I don't do gigs during lambing or calving or at harvest,

so you know, there's maybe actually only nine months of the year

that I'm doing comedy.

-Right, OK.

-So that's how I work it.

Now, you played this year at the Edinburgh Festival, at the Fringe.

-Absolutely.

-What was that like?

-Oh, it was brilliant.

I did two weeks at the Fringe. Called it Farmed And Dangerous.

It was a really worthwhile experience.

A great learning curve actually for me.

To go from maybe doing...you know,

15 minute set to have to write a whole hour of comedy.

It was spot on and I was very grateful

-for the farming community that came out to support me.

-Did they?

It was quite a sight in Edinburgh, seeing all these guys

in checked shirts and tweed jackets walking around.

-Hey, that's all the rage now.

-Absolutely!

Everyone's wearing that these days, so I believe.

Now, I believe, Jim,

that you do an impersonation of one of our presenters on Landward?

It has been known that I've done the odd Euan McIlwraith impression,

-Dougie, aye.

-Uh-huh.

-AS EUAN:

-Well, Dougie, to be honest, the one thing that really annoys me

is how come you get all the good gigs and I get all the rubbish.

That's just like him! He moans all the time.

'Yes, Euan, I do get all the good gigs.

'A few hours later,

'and I'm at the Stand Comedy Club in Glasgow's trendy West End.

'Jim is backstage doing some last-minute revision.'

-Hi, Jim. Is it OK to come in?

-Yes. Come in, Dougie.

-Come in to the famous green room.

-So how are you feeling?

Well, I always get a bit nervous just before a gig,

but I think that's just natural, you know.

Cos you never know what the crowd's going to be like.

So how do you think the rural comedy will go down in the city?

Erm, well, I try and do it in a way that it's...

Like, I explain to them how it works,

so, you know, it's like the village idiot coming to the big city

kind of thing, which I seem to play well.

You know, so I try not to do too much in depth farming jokes.

Right. Well, listen, I'm rooting for you. Have a good show!

-Remember to laugh at the right bits, Dougie.

-I'll laugh the whole time.

-Have a good one. Cheers, man.

-Cheers. Thanks, Dougie.

And a fair crowd has gathered to watch tonight's performance.

This young lad looked at a cow - never seen a cow in his life -

and he says, "Mr... How does a cow...?

"Why does a cow have four teats?"

I says, "That's easy.

"Full fat, semi-skimmed, skimmed, lactose free."

And it really appears there was no need for Jim to be nervous

as the crowd are really enjoying the act.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, he was good,

but I was trying to follow the terminology.

I think I did OK. Tcheuchter? I have no idea what a tcheuchter is.

Cos I came out when I was 15, said I was going to be a tcheuchter.

I think it means farmer?

You don't know what it's like at agricultural college.

You know Top Gun, the movie?

-It's a lot like that, but for tractor drivers.

-LAUGHTER

I thought it was very good. He's obviously nervous, but very funny.

Now, I don't know if you're up to date

with your knowledge of sheep, people of Glasgow.

But I showed him all the different types of sheep and...

A sheep that has a lamb for the first time is called a gimmer.

I liked it. The best gag for me was the Andy Murray one.

I liked that one the best.

This other type of sheep, we have another name for her.

Now she's had two lambs and that's what I want every sheep to have.

That's perfect. But she only really loves one lamb

and she'll only give one lamb all the love and all the encouragement.

And we call them

-Judy Murrays.

-LAUGHTER

Now, I love Judy Murray, but even she would have to admit,

that was pretty funny.

Ladies and gentlemen, you've been an absolute pleasure.

I've been Jim Smith. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

From the adrenaline rush of a live performance

to the buzz of country sports.

At last year's Commonwealth Games,

more than half of the Scottish shooting team were made up of women.

So we wondered, why is there a need for all-female shooting clubs?

Sarah went along to a day's clay pigeon shoot.

Pull.

In my experience,

shooting can often be about lots of competitive men dressed in tweed

and for a woman wanting to have a go, it can be quite daunting.

But times are a-changing because right here in Aberdeenshire,

a revolution is taking place.

It's unashamedly feminine

and it's helping to break down the sport's masculine image.

Welcome to the world...of women-only shooting.

For the past year,

the Glad Rags And Cartridge Bags club have been encouraging

ladies of all ages to pick up a gun

and learn the basics of clay and game shooting.

So have a good day and happy shooting.

And it all started with Mhairi Morriss.

So what do you think it is about what you do on these days

that appeals to women?

It's the relaxed atmosphere.

I think it's the fact they get taught how to shoot properly.

There's a handful that's come along because their husbands do shoot

and they want to get better without being seen to be getting better,

so they come along for a sneaky shoot

and they're growing in confidence,

they're growing in their abilities and they will be as good,

if not better, than their partners very quickly.

How many women have you had at these events? How have numbers been?

This is our 11th event, Sarah,

and we've had 269 guns at those 11 events and 140 different ladies.

So how have the men taken to it?

I think generally very well.

I think there's a bit of a giggle going on in the pub

on a Friday night when the guys get together and they see us

discussing kit, discussing guns...

So I think, rewind a year ago,

they'd never have thought how much the ladies have got into it.

Pull.

Whoo!

I got two. Whee!

Gladrags is just one of several women-only clubs across Scotland.

Their popularity is growing, and Scottish women continue

to perform well on the international sporting stage.

Impressive. So, if women can shoot just as well as men,

why do they need a separate club?

I think it's just nicer being with the girls,

and if you don't do so well, there's no pressure.

-If you do really well, then as your hear...

-She got one.

-We're all, yeah, very supportive of each other.

-Whoo! Well done.

It's not competitive at all, it's all very relaxed,

very enjoyable and it's just a good day out for the girls.

There's so much else that goes with it.

The biggest thing was having my own gun.

That was a great decision for me, and it's been fitted to me

and that makes a hell of a difference,

getting used to your own gun.

Pull.

-That was much better.

-I'm getting better.

-Yeah.

That's a relief!

I've just started to learn to shoot, so don't expect too much. OK?

Jim, any tips?

-Aye, be positive, believe in yourself.

-OK.

I'll get my ears on.

OK, pull.

Killed it beautifully.

Why do you think these days just for women are growing in popularity?

Ladies have got just as good hand-eye coordination as men.

Let's say, maybe sounds sexist, I hit a golf ball -

I'm bigger, stronger than you, so I should beat you at golf.

But that's not an issue with shooting.

So you're pretty much starting on a level playing field.

Have you got used to all the cheering yet after the shots?

There's a few of that with ladies days, that's for sure.

Oh, she's going to do it.

What a brilliant day out. Women from all walks of life having fun.

Yes, it ticks the boxes and breaks down certain gender stereotypes,

but ultimately it's great to see

so many women wanting to learn to shoot,

which has to be good for the sport.

Sarah is so competitive, I knew she wouldn't miss a clay.

In the meantime, from all the Landward team here in Crieff,

thanks for your company, bye for now.