Episode 3 Monty Halls' Great Hebridean Escape

Imagine walking away from your normal life

to live on a beautiful island packed with spectacular wildlife.

Whoa!

Well, that's what I'm doing,

working as a volunteer nature ranger in the Outer Hebrides.

Welcome to my Great Escape.

Come on Reubs, come on.

It's 600 miles from my home in Bristol to North Uist,

where summer is turning to autumn.

My pigs and turkeys are getting fat.

And I've been busy checking out the old nature trails and getting to know these extraordinary islands.

I've got the wind in my face, I'm on top of the cliff,

it's got to be one of the best views in the world.

This week...

I'm here to find a sea monster. Come on Reubs, off we go.

About 150 to 200 whale strandings around our coast each year.

I see first hand how deer numbers are kept under control.

Looks like this is it.

And the Laird of North Uist shows me the secret to catching razor clams.

People have been doing this for thousands of years and have known

that if you look hard enough, there's a little package of protein that'll keep you alive.

I'm seven weeks in now and one of my great frustrations here is it's all very well making these plans,

I've made lots of plans in the seven weeks, I'm making lots of contacts.

And I haven't got any money to do all the things I want to do,

put the guided trails in, print the leaflets, it all costs money.

I need several thousand pounds and I'm going to have to raise it all from the local community.

There aren't many occasions when everyone on the islands gets together,

but the North Uist Agricultural Show is one of them, and it's too good an opportunity to miss.

The whole idea of these shows is that they're a great kind of celebration

of all the locals coming together, all the stock, lots of different animals,

all the different generations are here as well.

This is a real festival, it's a celebration of all that's good

about the agriculture, the livestock and everything here.

What I'm thinking of doing is organising a gourmet feast that will showcase

all the different foods these islands produce,

and with a bit of luck it'll raise all the money I need for environmental projects.

There's a man I've spotted here, he's going to be extremely significant for me.

It's a guy called Neil who owns the Langass Lodge.

Neil is the younger brother of my landlord, Fergus, aka Earl Granville, the Laird of North Uist.

But this is the first time we've met.

-Hello, Neil, I'm Monty.

-Hello.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

I know Fergus has spoken to you about the feast, the concept of the feast,

it's all a fundraiser basically to raise money for the ranger position.

-Oh, I see.

-And various sort of nature projects around the islands.

So the idea would be things like setting up guided trails,

-putting signposts in, but it all requires funding.

-Yeah.

So I thought it would be a really nice way to showcase

the very best of the islands and the best of the produce,

so do something like 15 courses, very small courses.

So a scallop and a langoustine, a bit of venison, a bit of...

-You know, and then tell the story behind each course.

-Yeah, that's a good idea.

-Yeah.

It's something our chef would enjoy doing, and we'll be able to manage it, I'm sure.

Fantastic, that's very kind.

It's a great start. Now all I have to do is organise everything else.

Thank you so much, lovely to meet you.

I've got to draw up a guest list of people with deep pockets,

persuade fishermen and farmers to give me all the ingredients for free,

and pull in favours from wherever I can.

What could possibly go wrong?

I thought I'd start by getting myself a little local publicity,

as the worst ever entrant in any class at the show.

We're about to enter the dog and owner obstacle course

and I can't tell you the capacity for massive catastrophe that holds.

Because when Reubs gets excited when we run along together,

he's still got a bit of a puppy in him, he jumps up and nips me,

and doing an obstacle course is quite exciting.

Are you ready for it, Reubs, are you ready, are you ready?

Come on then, Reubs, over, over. No, no, no, this way, this way.

Over, over, over, way-hay, well done! Come on, Reubs, come on.

Reubs, over that, oh, go on. Come on, Reubs, Reubs.

Yes, over the jump, go on over, go over the jump, yeah.

Are you ready, Reubs, watch this.

Very good. Go on, go on.

Just showboating now. Right, Reubs, come on, come on, Reubs.

Oh, you star, this way, this way.

Good boy, good boy, now over this one, oh...!

LAUGHTER

Well done, Reubs!

APPLAUSE

Piece of cake.

Well done, Reubs.

Good lad, good lad, clever boy.

I've given myself four weeks to organise the feast

because until I've got some cash there's really very little I can do, other than plan ways of spending it.

I'm driving towards the great craggy wedge that rises out of North Uist,

it's Eaval, the mountain of Eaval,

which sounds like some sort of fantasy sci-fi thing but it's only actually 300 metres high.

But I'll say it's a thousand feet cos that sounds a lot more impressive!

But one of the ideas is to try and put a guided trail,

either up the mountain or around it or whatever.

So I'm going to go and explore options, see what it's like up there,

and perhaps look at an option as well of getting to the foot of it by boat.

That might be quite an interesting way to open up a new trail to Eaval.

The one thing I can guarantee is if the weather stays like this,

a bit blustery, it'll be wild but the view will be breathtaking.

Come on, Reubs.

-Hello, Nick.

-Oh, hi.

-Do you want me to cast off?

-Yeah, if you would.

-Reubs, come on.

Nick very kindly agreed to give me a lift out to the foot of Eaval.

This is a great shortcut and it's a great chance to have a chat with Nick and weave through this

beautiful little archipelago of islands to actually get to the foot of the mountain.

You moved up here 30 years ago, didn't you?

-Yep.

-About 30 years ago?

-Yeah, 30 years ago.

-And where did you move up from?

-I was teaching in Burnley for two and a half years.

-Right.

What sort of things are you seeing wildlife-wise around the island?

Sometimes I go looking for wildlife and then I find that, you know, it was behind me all the time.

-Yeah, yeah.

-I know the first day we went looking for a sea eagle

and then my neighbour told me that he'd been looking at one through binoculars

-the evening before, sat right behind our house.

-Really?

And I mean we were just... I was probably reading a book on how to find sea eagles.

-If I'd have just turned around...

-There was one perched on the back of your armchair!

-Exactly.

Ah, ha-ha, you all right?

You're all right, Reubs.

This is a real growing industry up here.

Nick's an ex-fisherman and essentially gave up the fishing to buy this boat

because eco-tourism's starting to really take off here...

as it should. This is a miraculous environment,

this little network of islands and channels, it's alive with otters, the sea eagles, golden eagles.

There's a heck of a lot going on here, dolphins.

And the best way to see it is just get out in a boat

with a pair of these and just have a good old hunt round.

He's just said there's something on the shore here.

Whoa, here we go.

That was an absolutely magnificent pair of stags, because one of the ways

stags are graded is the amount of points on their antlers.

And one of those had at least eight points on its antlers, which makes it a 16-point stag.

Above 12 it becomes a royal stag,

it's a regal animal that only the regent can hunt, traditionally.

So that was slightly beyond a royal stag that, and what a great sight.

I think that's the easiest way.

You put me to shame.

God, Reub, I'm impressed!

So, onward and upward, but mainly upward.

Hah, Reubs, don't peak too early.

An awful lot of people go hiking

in the highlands and islands, of course.

You've got to be careful, you know, you've got to take the right gear

because it's demanding, physically demanding, and the weather can change like that.

And if you're tired, you haven't got a compass, you haven't got

a means of communication, people don't know where you are,

you haven't got waterproofs, suddenly a bit of an emotional day out

turns into a serious, serious drama.

But it's beautiful, it's worth every step, every step, look at this, look at the view.

Are you ready, chum?

Come on then, let's go, next stage, come on.

The next stage is going to be fairly heinous I think.

Nearly there, we're on the summit ridge,

the Hillary Step.

I'm making this out to be this

heinous, hard climb, it's not at all,

it's the sort of thing my granny used to do, in tweed, with a stout pair of boots.

That's the summit.

This is what the Uists and the Outer Hebrides are all about.

To look around me, you can see the odd house

and the rest is just wilderness,

and there's certain places where nature holds sway over man.

And this is one of them, I think,

this is Britain's wilderness.

Fantastic sight.

Even Reubs is excited.

Eaval is breathtaking.

Writing a trail guide is going to be a top priority.

And looking down over the whole landscape has really inspired me about the feast.

The islands are like a giant larder, with produce unrivalled anywhere in

Britain or indeed the world, and I want the feast to reflect that.

What I'd like to do with this feast is I'd like to make it a journey

across this landscape, this incredible landscape,

and a celebration of the food it produces.

So we're going to start out at the sea with things like langoustine,

scallop, and then we're going to move onto the beaches, muscles.

and then we're going to move onto a croft with things like lamb.

Then we're going to move into the hills with things like venison.

All the money the feast raises will go straight into environmental projects and I'm determined

to leave my mark here, because these islands are so special.

Today I'm off to see some of the rarest birds in Britain, sea eagles.

There's a real protocol with these single track roads,

and you pull over, it just means you're stopping and starting all the time.

Initially you're like that, it means you get to wave to everyone on the island at least once a day.

When you've been here for a while you get all cool about it

and you just raise a laconic finger, sort of cool finger like that.

That means you're a local and you're kind of in the know.

Like this, watch, perfect demo.

Thank you.

This is probably one of my last chances to actually get out and see the sea eagles.

The youngsters are going to fledge very, very soon, which means they're going to fly the nest.

And although I've seen sea eagles before, I've only ever seen them in the distance.

So this is a great opportunity to see one up close taking a fish from the water, which will be fantastic.

I think it is, I think it is, yeah.

Yes, it is.

Just seen an eagle, saw it flying along the coast, what a sight, what a sight, seven foot wingspan.

And it's just gone into its nest just there so the idea now,

I'm just going to catch a couple of pollack and try and lure it out.

There's two eagles, we've got two eagles.

There they are, and that is a significant portion

of the sea eagle population of the UK.

There they are, look at that, look at that.

Fantastic.

They were introduced in 1975, they only started breeding in 1985,

and estimates vary as to the numbers,

but what you're looking at there is the fourth largest bird of prey

on Earth, and it's right here off the coast of Britain.

With any luck I'm going to catch a pollack.

Fantastic eyesight, they're almost a kilometre away but they'll pick up me waving it

and with any luck they'll come and take it out of the water.

Got to catch a pollack first though, which has been a problem for me in the past.

Oh, hello!

Always takes time, encounters like this.

Every time I've ever wanted to get a photograph of an animal like this, there's no substitute

for just hanging around and waiting, and it'll come to you in its own time and on its own terms.

A couple more and we're in business.

They're obviously just hunting just round the other side of that headland.

There it is, yeah, I can see him.

No, there we are, look!

Look at that, he's going to come right over.

Whoa, look at that.

Right, I'm going to try and get right underneath, I feel completely ridiculous, by the way.

Suddenly there's four of them.

But these are obviously the young. I've seen more than two birds,

so these are the ones that have fledged.

He's definitely got his eye on me, you can see he's hanging around.

OK, here we go.

Look at that.

And they obviously want a fish, they're watching us.

I just wish they'd come a little bit closer.

Fantastic sighting, superb to see all four of them, and to see them come over so close was amazing.

The scale of these cliffs, these cliffs are large and even they didn't dwarf this huge animal.

And I have had the opportunity to drive up and down the coast

of the Outer Hebrides waving a pollack above my head, which I never thought I'd do, I feel privileged.

But a lovely day, a lovely day, so head home, I think.

The eagles might not have wanted my pollack but I know someone at home who might.

One of the things I really want to do up here is try and learn how to cook this food properly.

You know, this is the harvest of the sea, you just go out there and these are rich, rich, rich waters.

The pollack is, it's an amazing animal, the pollack,

a very, very successful predator on the reef.

Same family as the cod and they're a kind of ambush predator, they sit very close to the reef.

So what I'm going to do is, I'm going to do some goujons with these,

so the first thing I've got to do is find its goujons.

And you can see, look at that white meat, it's muscle, this animal needs

explosive speed, it's an ambush predator.

This thing, to get to this size, would have had an amazing life history, they spawn in deep water

in January through to April,

down in sort of 100-200 metres of water which is pitch black.

When they hatch, they scull their way to shallow water

and they live off tiny crustaceans and plankton.

And then if they grow to their full size they can get really huge, they get a metre long.

Bad enough for a pollack to be caught

and dragged away from its home reef, but then it has the indignity of being cooked by me.

That's really good.

It's just a nice white fish, tastes like cod and this is a pollack,

and for some reason we don't eat them.

And things like cod are under such intense pressure, these can be caught close to shore

by anyone just off reefs and they're delicious, and we should be catching animals like this,

things like pollack, a more successful species,

and giving things like cod a bit of a break, I think.

Here we go chum. Sit.

Try some.

I saw you eat some sheep poo this afternoon.

Are you telling me my goujons are no good?

I'm staying on the islands until the New Year, so I'm fattening up some pigs and turkeys for Christmas,

which I must say I have some mixed feelings about.

All right, chaps.

It's feeding time, isn't it? You actually want a bit of scran.

I play the game sometimes, have you ever seen the game

with those tiny little pigs that you throw and you see how they land?

I do it with these two, really, you know.

I got an 87 point break the other day.

There we are, that's a 20 pointer!

Really going to struggle in a few months time

to take these chaps to the abattoir but there we go.

Maybe I'll just send Reubs.

Right, bit of food,

here we go, fellas, come on.

Look at that.

You're looking at a sausage on legs, basically, and a pork chop on legs.

Out the way, chaps.

I'll fatten you up for Christmas.

This is a very significant meeting I'm going to now.

It's with John, who is the chef at the Langass Lodge.

He's the man who's going to be cooking the great feast, for a start,

but also because he's the chef, he's locked in to all the local suppliers.

So this meeting, I'm hoping I can tap into John's expertise

and it'll set me out on the start of this trail around the island...

..to actually find the producers...

The producers of this phenomenal natural produce up here.

-Hello, John, how are you?

-Good, good.

John Buchanan is originally from the Isle of Lewis.

This looks fantastic.

He joined the Langass Lodge straight from catering college

nearly 25 years ago.

So have you had any more thoughts about the feast?

-Absolutely.

-I think we were up to 17 courses, weren't we, last time we talked?

So much available on the island, what do you want to do with it?

-I was wondering if... Like doing it three things at a time.

-Oh, yes.

So three tiny little things. On the plate, almost like tapas almost.

Three tiny little things on the plate, and then almost have like a host, who says,

"Now...we move into the sea."

And in the sea you'll find a scallop, these are the best scallops,

you know, a langoustine, whatever.

You can go one plate and you can call it "From the shore".

You can get some mussels, some cockles, some razor clams and make a dish.

That's free of charge, anybody can do it, if you can be bothered to go and do it.

So the next stage is really, I think as I said,

going to suppliers, because I want to learn the whole, it's almost...

-The chain.

-The chain, the way...

-Stuff just doesn't grow on trees.

-No.

A prawn doesn't arrive in the supermarket...just like that.

I can give you all the phone numbers and the people to speak to, the guys we use.

That would be fantastic.

With John's contacts, I'm on my way, but I can't neglect my ranger duties.

One of the joys of this job is you never know what any day is going to bring.

I'm here to find a sea monster.

There's been a rumour of an animal washed up here

and I've had my first clue, just as I've got out of the Land Rover.

There's a very strong smell of ammonia, so I'm going to have

a little walk down the beach and see... See what I see, basically.

Come on, Reubs, off we go.

Another clue that there's something here is there's a huge number of black-backed gulls.

Black-backed gulls, they're the kind of vultures of the beach

and they're just moving off, but they're clustered around something and plainly

there is a very large substantial animal half buried in the sand, so let's go and have a look.

From looking at it from this distance it's a shark, it's a large shark of some sort.

It's not a large shark.

That's a cetacean.

It's some sort of large dolphin or...

And it's got the dorsal fin really far back so more of a porpoise than a dolphin.

I don't think it is a dolphin, it's some sort of small whale or something.

But a clue will be a beak, if there's a beak here,

you get these large beaked whales.

But I don't think it is, I think it's a...

Well, there is a beak there, a bit of a beak, let's have a look.

Oh, there is a beak there, quite a substantial beak.

Now I'm not a cetacean expert, I'm not a whale and dolphin expert,

and by the look of things

you know it's got a beak, so it's some sort of beaked whale.

We don't know a great deal about beaked whales.

They tend to live on squid and so they hunt in deep water

and really it's not an animal that's seen that often.

So this would be of great interest, this particular stranding, it'll be of great interest

to people like the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society, so I'll have a natter with them about it.

Internet access on the islands is patchy,

so I'm off to the Kirkibost Community Centre to log on and email the experts.

I think, potentially, that beaked whale could be quite significant

because they're very unusual.

We don't come across them very often, and so I need to think quite carefully about the next step.

So I'm sending the photos I took to the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society and the scientists there,

with a view to maybe, I could take some biopsies and we'll get an idea of...

Perhaps which population it's from and also its pollution levels.

Whether there's pollution in it that might have killed it.

But just to know how I proceed from this point on.

I don't want to mess this up with potentially quite a rare

and quite an exciting find on one of the beaches of Benbecula.

Let's see what happens, let's see what they come back with,

the scientists down there, and I'll do precisely what they tell me.

Got to make a few calls, try and organise the feast,

but in there I can't get any signal and there's very few places round here I can get a signal.

Bizarrely, one of them is on the boat.

I've been inviting everyone I can think of, from local businessmen to the airline

that flies to the Outer Hebrides in the hope they'll donate lots of money, but it's a long old process.

Brilliant, brilliant.

It's going to be quite a night.

An endless succession of answer phones and people who are busy, but I've got to stick at it.

We're edging towards autumn now and it's rainy and very, very windy.

But every now and then the sun breaks through and it's a lovely combination.

You get wonderful colours and it looks wild and it's stark and beautifully lit

and just very nice.

I've also started gathering the ingredients.

Just popping in to see folk at the smokehouse who are providing huge amounts of stuff for the feast.

The smokehouse exports salmon and trout all over the world

and the work that goes into a slice of smoked salmon is a real eye-opener.

Annie is originally from America and she's one of many people

I've come across on the islands who came for a visit and never went home.

-Welcome to the Hebridean Smokehouse.

-Thank you very much.

We go through so much to take care of the fish.

You don't want to do anything that's going to split the flesh,

cause the fish to bend, or if you pick them up sometimes with one hand

you'll feel the vertebrae's kinda popping.

That is poetry in motion.

So usually when we're handling the fish we try to use two hands instead of one.

The fillets are salted to remove some of the moisture before smoking.

Now that's the peat.

That's the peat, we break it up a bit and we top it with a wet sawdust

cos we don't want it to flame, we just want the smoke, so the wet sawdust will keep it from flaming.

I love the idea of peat smoking because it's the very essence of the islands.

-Isn't it?

-It's what makes up the islands.

-Literally, yeah.

And there it is, I'm just going to smell it.

Oh, I love it, lovely.

It smells like walking past a bothy,

you know, with a fire going on a nice autumnal evening.

It's a very sort of romantic, peaty smell.

So how long will it spend in there, Annie?

At least 12 hours, just for flavour, that's what it's doing with the fish.

-But does it cook it?

-It doesn't cook it.

-Right.

So this has all been smoked already.

We can go to this table here.

This line across here, if you go like that you can feel it,

these are the pin bones. So before the fish can be sliced,

each of these pin bones have to be taken out.

It's literally just tweezing those bones out.

The first few are the hardest.

Yeah!

-That was a lot of work, for sure.

-Under pressure, yeah.

When you've finished, just run your finger down.

Yeah, I seem to have left one or two, funny old thing.

I'll be with you in a moment, don't worry!

Great stuff.

-All right.

-Now the slicing.

-Yes.

When you slice, you want your knife as parallel to the board

as you can have it, and this sawing motion is really, really important.

The more you saw, the more the knife will cut.

The other thing you're watching is the thickness of the slice,

you should be able to see your knife through the slice.

That's quite good.

-But this piece we don't use.

-Oh, don't we, that is a tragedy!

Your next slice, you just... So you just go back just a little bit

and just start, just do the same thing again.

Let your knife just do the slicing.

That's actually very good,

-see how you can see your knife through there?

-Thanks.

-That's quite a good slice there, for your first slice.

-Shall I just stop? I should just stop now.

There you go, you know, no, no, no.

That's not so great. Somewhat ragged.

If you got a piece like that, it would go with the pate fish.

We'd put that, we'd kinda chop it up and put it in the bag for the pate.

They're going to have quite a large pate pile at the end of this!

-My nerves are in tatters now.

-Are they?

They are absolutely immaculate, your slices.

This is a ham-fisted rugby player with a low attention span.

I think...

I'm going to retire hurt.

So what would you do with that, Annie, that pile of...?

-This actual pile here?

-Yeah, yeah.

It would all go into pate.

Do you know, why doesn't that...?

I don't think we could use any of that.

I can see you searching for a subtle way to say that but there isn't really.

It'll make the next bit of salmon I get from here that little bit... Knowing what's gone into it.

-The quality.

-It's really significant.

-Yes, it is, yes, thank you.

-All right, Annie, thank you so much.

-Cheers.

-No worries, cheers.

-Bye-bye.

And Annie's said very kindly that I can take it out to Reubs.

He's been sitting in the car and he's bored out his brains.

And I've always said Reubs is part otter because he loves the sea so much, so hopefully he'll enjoy this.

I have no idea at all how Reubs is going to react to this.

I know he gets hungry in the car cos whenever I leave him in the car

he always eats my headrests, or seatbelts.

Hey, Reubs!

Reubs, I'm sorry, that's a long time in the Landy, isn't it?

No more than normal. Look at this.

Are you ready, are you ready, go on then, Reubs.

What do you think, Reubs, no?

Reubs, I'll give you a straight choice.

OK, this prime piece of Atlantic salmon - pink, delicious flesh

that's worth a fortune, or this pebble?

Which one do you want?

Throw you the salmon? Go on, Reubs.

Throw the pebble?

Reubs!

The next thing I need to get sorted for the feast is the main course, venison.

The meat needs to hang for a few weeks before it's ready to eat so there's no time to waste.

I've joined Niall Leveson-Gower, who runs the hotel where the feast will be happening,

and Colin Newton, one of the gamekeepers

on the North Uist Estate.

-Lovely day.

-A good day, yeah.

So the plan for the day, Niall, I'm in your capable hands.

Well, I don't know about that but we'll go and see if we can get

a stag for the feast.

So we've got a little bit of a convoy thing going on here, more of an amphibious military exercise.

So that's Colin.

Colin's going to come with us on the stalk, yeah.

And he's probably going to be the guy who pulls the trigger if we're lucky enough to get into a stag.

Grand, grand.

I always think for, in terms of me, I'm not personally into sort of trophy shooting or anything.

Well, what we'll be looking for today is a small stag.

-A small stag?

-A cull stag, or an old one or an injured one.

So essentially you're culling the herd, almost, you're taking out the weak ones.

And the ones that would quite possibly die on the hill anyway so, yeah.

That's our aim anyway.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Leave the strong ones to breed.

It's not long before Niall spies some shootable stag, so it's a quick

change into our stalking gear and head up into the hills.

At the moment, the wind's in our faces which is the perfect place

to be of course, cos we're walking into the wind so our smell's being carried that way, but the problem

with these valleys and hills and coves, is it changes direction and switches and turns all the time.

And if it switches and they just get a hint of us, then they're gone.

Also, if another herd that's over there gets a hint of us or sees us,

they'll go and that'll send the stag we're after off, so...

We'll just go and have a look from that ridge, if you just stay here.

It's actually perfect countryside for stalking this, because it's a series of ridges

so you go to the top of one and you do a little spy and you look at the whole valley in front of you,

and then you move through that valley, go to the next one and the next one.

-They must have winded us on the way.

-They've just stopped there,

that's a big stag.

Long shot though.

We're a few weeks before the rut starts

and at this time of year, estates start culling the weakest stags so they don't get a chance to breed.

Any stag we shoot today would have been destined for the dinner table anyway.

WHISPERS: We'll go up and he'll put some bullets in the magazine.

-Right.

-We'll do that at the last minute.

OK, this is the kind of final bit of the stalk now, last 150 metres or so.

Colin's going to sit there and hopefully take the shot from there

but we've got to be really quiet from this point on.

All right, the very last ridge, we've just found them right there,

right in front of us.

So this is it.

GUNSHOT FIRES

Last gasp.

Wow, a huge animal.

-Big 'un.

-Yeah.

But a really good one to shoot, he's got, you can see, an uneven head, just these two points on this side.

And that's sort of quite... Is that a poor condition thing or is that?

Yeah, well basically it's the breeding. You're trying to eliminate the poor breeders.

-But this antler's potentially quite dangerous to the other stags.

-Oh, right, of course.

Cos usually they've got these things.

When they're sparring they will stop the other antler but this one would...

-We've been out to this stag before actually.

-Yeah, yeah.

And you can just see straight away, you know, the contrast with this and what you see on a wall.

Or what you see in a big healthy stag out there.

You can see the difference, can't you?

Well, there we go...

There we go, and this guy hopefully will be turned into money to support the ranger position.

And hopefully keep an eye on the environment of the islands.

The whale, the beached whale, has created quite a stir.

I've sent off the pictures to the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society and they've spoken

to their experts there and the pictures have even gone to America.

So what I'm going to do now is go back and take a sample, do some measurements,

just have a slightly closer look at it and try and unravel the mystery

of what actually happened to this animal.

And then take the sample back and send them off,

and then await results.

Looking very sorry for itself now.

This is a real bonanza for everything on the beach

that eats carrion, and that's pretty much everything.

So if you look, you've got skuas there, you've got black-backed gulls,

herring gulls, they'll all just come in and make the most of this.

There's about 150 to 200 whale strandings

around our coast each year.

And what they do is they give us a glimpse of another world.

And the beaked whales particularly hunt in very deep water a kilometre down hunting for squid.

So this guy would have lived in a world of abyssal darkness, hence the tiny, tiny little eye,

but obviously it uses that fantastic echo location to actually hunt its main prey, which is squid.

Eugh!

Now, the three different species are Cuvier's, Sowerby's and True's beaked whales.

And they wash up really very rarely,

so this fellow has generated a fair amount of interest.

So what I've got to do is take a skin sample and a little muscle sample as well

and send it off to the labs and see what they can say about this particular whale.

Now, some very strong recommendations should you ever come across a stranded whale.

Number one is don't touch it, they've got some really nasty infections in them.

And the other one is try and stay up wind. Whoo!

They absolutely hustle, it reeks.

I'm going to dig out the beak slightly and then get some

really accurate measurements and then leave it to mother nature.

Interesting thing about blubber. A whale stores all its toxins in there

and that's worked really well for it until mankind's come along

and filled the sea with all sorts of things that the whales have to deal with.

In some parts of America where whales wash up on the beach,

they're considered so full of chemicals that they're classified as toxic waste.

Cos this will just be so full of nasty PCBs and all sorts of odds and bobs like that.

But that's the whale's kind of chemical life history in there,

a depository for all the horrible gunk we fill the oceans with.

I'll get the measurements and then I'll go and be sick.

It'll take the experts a few weeks to analyse the tissue sample

and work out exactly what type of whale this is,

but it's obviously an unusual stranding, which is pretty exciting really.

Come on, Reubs.

It's hard to think about food after that stomach-churning stench,

but the day of the feast is fast approaching.

There's a real ground rush in this last week and the reason

is that everything obviously has to be totally fresh,

and so I'm gathering food basically for 50 people here

and local producers are doing the same.

And there's certain things that I'm having to physically gather myself,

like razor clams, like cockles, scallops and all that sort of stuff.

So I'm heading out to meet Fergus, the Laird, whose father moved

the family to North Uist from their ancestral home in Staffordshire when Fergus was a baby.

I'm heading out to go and try and get hold of some razor clams,

one of the early courses is razor clams.

Steeped in mystique and folklore about the best way to get the razor clams,

and Fergus thinks he's got a great technique.

Absolutely delicious, you can do this, anyone can do this down the beach.

They're pretty much around the whole of the British Isles, razor clams.

Good, I do like it when it's like this.

You've just got a hint of a storm coming in and the water looks dark

and there's a bit wind in your hair, you know,

and it's really nice actually, you get nice smells.

As ever, I am in your capable hands.

Tide's looking good at the moment, you can see the kelp coming out, that's a good sign.

So the problem the razor clam's got is it's just a tube of delicious meat, it's a muscular foot.

And it's wrapped itself in this hard shell and given itself the ability

to tunnel at amazing speed straight down through the sand.

And the moment it feels a bit of vibration it's gone,

so there is a real kind of sense of achievement when you get one.

You're stalking them basically, and we need 50 for the feast.

You have to be obviously careful feeling down the knife,

yours is quite blunt, but then a tiny bit of sideways pressure

is enough to stop it going down.

You don't have to hold it hard, just a thumb against the side of it will stop it descending.

-I've got one here.

-Oh, well done.

-Do you want to feel him?

-Yes.

If you put your finger... Just hold him sideways, he won't go down.

-Oh, I've got him.

-Have you got him?

And then just a...to and fro rocking.

That's the muscular foot there, that's the delicious bit,

and obviously that's what he uses to drive himself down into the sand.

And when you catch one, he'll sort of try and dive down in pulses and he's contained in his own

cooking container basically, you can just put these straight on the fire.

-This is quite a strong one, this one.

-Oh, really? The size of your leg.

I could well get pulled down after it!

It's really pulling very hard.

Wow, it just keeps on coming.

A good size, excellent.

Fergus has caught about eight, I've caught one, seems to be the normal ratio for my...

-Well, now you've got a good knife.

-I've got a good knife, yeah, that's what it's all about.

That knife is a legend among razor clams, it's been operating...

-Look at that...

-First stroke.

-The first stroke.

There's that puff and then he...

So a double hook up.

Oh, this is a good 'un.

I'm afraid I think you're going to beat me, I've got a very slim one.

You'll glance round and just see the tips of my wellies sticking out of a big hole.

Oh, well, they're small but incredibly strong.

-Perfectly formed.

-Yes.

There we go.

Worth it, though.

People have been doing this for thousands of years and have known that just beneath the sand there,

if you look hard enough, is a little package of protein that'll keep you alive.

And I'd say we've got enough now for the feast.

So it was a triumph, fantastic.

Why I'm doing this Fergus, this is for the feast,

so we show a local hunter-gatherer, indigenous person.

All right.

OK, I've been razor clamming and Reubs, as normal,

has been a complete liability.

But there's one thing that I've got left to do

and for that, Reubs is absolutely essential.

I'm planning an auction as part of the feast and local artist Richard Bramble

has donated some of his exquisite painted plates for free, which should raise a lot of cash.

I don't know, I was thinking to sign it on the back.

-We'll get Reuben's paw print hopefully.

-Of course.

And we might not do anything with these,

-these are the birds we get up here.

-Well, that'll be great.

If I go and get him.

Now, Reubs, don't embarrass me.

Come on.

He thinks he's going to the beach.

Reubs, come on in.

-Right, here he is.

-Hello.

The star of the show. Right, Reubs,

this is your moment of truth.

Do not embarrass me.

This is when all those years of obedience training kick in.

-Shall we put the plate on the floor, I think?

-Yes.

-Let's put it there.

-What I'll do is, I'll get him to sit.

Reubs, come here, sit, Reubs, Reuben, oi, sit.

Hey, shush, Reuben, Reuben. Sit.

-Good boy.

-Is it water soluble paint?

-All right, Reuben.

-It is, yeah.

Give that another go.

Come here, come here, come here.

You haven't got any chocolate, have you?

Come here, Reubs. Who's that?

Good lad, come here, give us your paw.

Reuben!

-Would you like to have another go?

-We'll have another go.

Reubs!

-You might need to wash all these.

-Yeah.

Paw, paw.

Good boy. Wait there.

We can definitely get a better one, we can get a better one.

Good boy. There we go.

All right, Reubs.

On the plastic, no, on the plastic, Reubs...

-Oh, hang on.

-Actually, yeah.

Yeah.

That's the one.

Perfect, that's a paw print, isn't it?

Well, after all that effort I'm hoping Richard's plates will help me reach my goal of two or three grand.

His and Reubs autographs will surely increase the value,

and mine should add at least an extra 50p.

The great day has dawned

and the day of the great feast.

I'm just chasing round the last few things, picking up various odds and bobs.

The lodge is flat out setting everything up, we've got guests

flying in from all over the place, there's a real sense of occasion.

I've no idea how much money we'll raise but I hope for a significant

amount, and it all kicks off the work of the ranger from tonight.

All the food has been donated free of charge, amazing generosity.

There's langoustine from Rob Keltie.

Heather Morrison, who sold me Smoky and Streaky, donates some organic pork.

They look like cocklers to me.

Shona, John and Andrew Currie have supplied handpicked cockles.

Hector Stewart offers some fresh crab claws.

Perfect, thank you very much.

And everything else, including the venue, comes from the brothers, Fergus and Niall,

so everyone will eat for free, and that means I can angle for some meaty donations.

All right, chaps. Cheers, good luck.

Right, the lads have now got seven hours

until the first guests turn up, and just have a little think about that.

They're cooking 17 courses, I think it is, for 50 people coming from the length and breadth

of the UK, and it's the first time they've done anything like this here, so seven hours to go.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you'd like to move through,

we'll crack on with the feast in about five minutes or so.

Ladies and gentlemen, hello. Hello in the cheap seats!

LAUGHTER

Thanks so much for supporting us tonight for this feast.

It's a really significant event in terms of the money we're

trying to raise for the local environment and the ranger programme.

So what we're going to do for the meal itself is go on a ramble through the islands,

let's go on a ramble through this amazing ecosystem.

Each course you're about to eat is a different part of the ecosystem

that we're going to walk through or take a boat to.

And the first place naturally, as a marine biologist, that I think we should go, is the sea.

OK, ladies and gentlemen, the tour continues and this time it's a rocky shore.

The mussels,

the clams, the razor fish, the cockles are basically

the cleanest and the sweetest you're going to get anywhere in the UK.

And the cockles you're about to eat have been gathered

by Shona, John and Andrew.

So that's the next course, the shellfish course, so enjoy.

So far I've enjoyed every bite.

It's been very nice, very tasty.

-Well, it's just lovely.

-Yeah?

Crab and scallops and black puddings, and everything's just wonderful.

The gastronomic journey continues to the crofts

and up into the hills.

I am absolutely blown away, absolutely fantastic, and this is home-grown.

The next stage is the auction and this is the first time we're

really going to try and touch on what the evening's all about,

ie trying to raise a little bit of money, so I'll be really interested to see how much these items go for.

Various hampers, paintings and of course our special plates, have all been donated by the local community.

Thank you very much, 80 quid, 80 quid, this is personal now.

Something like 190 and we're talking a set of leaflets, us producing a set of leaflets.

OK, 310, going once, going twice.

-310!

-310, oh, thanks, Mike, fantastic. Well done, mate.

APPLAUSE

This is the absolute piece de resistance,

and the most exciting part, as my lovely assistant is showing you,

the most exciting part is that on the back

it's been signed by myself, by Richard, best of all, by Reuben.

That is Reuben's paw print, so we start, I think, at 200,

220, brilliant, 230, 240, 250...

At 260, fantastic, thank you very much, 270, 280...

Completely unique. 310, do we have 310?

Fantastic, thank you so much, 310, 320, 330, brilliant at the end, thanks so much.

350? Thank you very much at the end.

350, 360, they're going once, going twice, going three times at 360.

Thank you very much, fantastic... Oh, sorry, yes.

APPLAUSE

The auction's raised about 1,500 quid, I think.

But the absolute key to the whole thing is these envelopes.

And just at the end of the evening, getting people to fill them out

and just give a few bob and help us do the jobs we need to do.

It's really vital that at the end of this evening

I can pick up these envelopes and I've got enough money in

to set me on the road to get stuck into all the projects

that desperately need doing over the next few months.

Well, it's been a great evening, it has been a great evening on every level.

The guys in the kitchen, what a great team,

they really pulled it off and you can tell they're really buzzing

cos it's an amazing achievement that they've produced 15, 16 courses, seamless.

The best and probably the biggest meal I've eaten in my entire life, so fantastic.

I'm off to do some very bad guitar playing now.

Cheers, slainte mhath.

MUSIC: "Fisherman's Blues" by The Waterboys

Finally, I've been told that Alison and Ada have counted the money

and in there the answer awaits, so let's see.

The money now belongs to the ranger committee and it's up to them how they'll spend it.

In this envelope I have a thousand quid.

Now that was... It's from the auction

and there's one waiting for us at Langass cos it was one of the guests.

-Gosh, yes.

-For the big platter, which I think was about 400.

We have the ones that we opened here today including cheques and cash.

-It comes to £880.

-Ah.

But then we've got a total of £2,250.

Brilliant, brilliant.

-That's fantastic.

-That is brilliant.

We're on our way. I said between two and three grand, that's what I was really hoping for.

-That's brilliant.

-That was great, wonderful.

-Terrific.

Well, 2.5 grand, it's not a king's ransom.

I was kind of hoping for three, but it means we're off now.

That is a working budget here and there's loads I can do with that money,

so let's get on and put the money to work.

Next time, a pod of wild dolphins off the shores of Barra.

Taking sheep to market, Uist style.

And newborn pups on Europe's largest seal sanctuary.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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