Episode 6 Monty Halls' Great Hebridean Escape

'My six months as a voluntary environmental ranger in the Outer Hebrides are nearly over.'

That is amazing. What a shot.

'But the wildlife of the islands is about to give me a spectacular send-off.'

(I can see an otter.)

Welcome to my Great Escape.

Come on, Rubes! Come on.

'It's early December, and I'm on my way to a very important meeting.

'I'm five months into my stint working as a voluntary environmental ranger

'in the southern islands of the Outer Hebrides.

'I've been using my background as a marine biologist to gather material

'for interpretation boards about the rocky shore.'

It was rock pools that set it all off for me. It's the reason I'm standing here today.

'And I've been researching walking trails on each of

'the six main islands that I cover, from Berneray in the north...'

..to Barra in the south!

'Now, co-ordinates have been set...

'..marker posts delivered to far-flung locations...'

Just up there is the black house that Bonnie Prince Charlie hid in.

'..and hammered into position.

'But all the information is in my head,

'and that's not going to be any good when the first tourists start to arrive

'and want a trail to follow.

'It's time to get it all down on paper.'

Just hoving into view on the horizon is the ferry.

And on that ferry is a man who's going to turn my half-baked ideas

and hare-brained schemes into reality, hopefully.

He's a designer come down to create leaflets and interpretation boards

to give information for tourists in a nice, digestible form when they come to visit the islands.

Hi. Are you Richard?

Are you Richard?

Hello, Richard, how are you?

'Richard Chyzy has come down from Lewis,

'one of the islands to the north of me.

'He moved there from Northumberland just six months ago, to combine

'his love of wildlife with his work as a graphic designer.'

Just to sort of bullet-point it,

I thought a leaflet with the walks in.

I'm trying to do one on each island and produce a little booklet.

And £1 of that will go to the retailer who sells it,

and a couple of pounds will go to the ranger project, so go to local environmental projects.

-That's a good idea, yeah.

-Yeah. The next priority, I'd say, is the rock pooling,

and happily, I have done, as you can see, a superb design.

What I've tried to do is pick species that kids can

definitely find very easily, so it's a nice, accessible thing for them.

You know, they're off on a hunt to go and find them,

and the rules about putting animals in buckets and giving them somewhere to hide...

'I'm desperate to get my hands on the material before I leave

'and with Christmas just three weeks away, Richard's on a tight deadline.'

-But the workbook is the most urgent thing, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Right.

-It's so important in all this that...

They're sort of collating all the work that I've done here

into a tangible form that can benefit people in the future.

-That's all about design, isn't it, and yeah, making it accessible.

-Yeah, it's all doable.

-Three weeks is doable. It'll be hard work, but it's possible.

-We've hit that sort of point now, haven't we?

Where it just has to be done.

'The pressure's off me now,

'but I still need to raise more cash to pay for a big print run of trail guides.

'I do have plans, and the most ambitious should raise several thousand pounds.'

Going stalking again today. But it's stalking with a difference,

because there's a friend of mine called Steve Burgess, who's up here for a few days.

And, er, Steve is an internationally renowned wildlife artist.

I've invited him up here because I think the rutting stag

out on the hills of the Outer Hebrides is one of the great wildlife spectacles.

So we're going to go in today. We're going to try and get really close

and try and get that magic shot of a stag roaring.

Then Steve's going to go away and do a picture of it,

and we're going to sell the picture to raise money for the ranger position and environmental projects.

Our guide for the day is Niall Leveson-Gower.

He runs the local hunting lodge

and if anyone can find a stag in rut, he can.

There we are. Look at that, right on top of the hill.

So, Steve, why haven't you painted a stag before?

Is this just something that's missing from your repertoire?

Yeah, it is, basically.

I mean, I've not been to this part of Scotland before.

Normally, I end up going to places like Africa,

painting all the big beasties out there - elephants, lions, et cetera.

It is a classic painting, isn't it?

The Monarch Of The Glen is probably the most famous wildlife painting.

It is, and I suppose that's one of the reasons I've maybe steered clear of it.

Because, er... A lot of places, you see the classic stag pose on the hillside.

It's difficult, without really putting some thought into it, to do something a little bit different.

Wow. Certainly seem to be a few around.

Just get into the midst of it all.

See that sort of cliffy face there?

-Yeah.

-Then we go up a little bit from the ridge.

Oh, I've got him. I've got him.

How does this compare, Steve, to some of the stuff you've done in Africa?

At the moment, it's comparing very well.

Big difference is, in Africa, you don't get a chance to get out the vehicle and stalk the animals.

That's what I'm enjoying about being here -

getting out and getting one to one with nature, as it were.

MONTY WHISPERS:

Oh, that's the shot.

Going to get them swimming.

That is amazing. What a shot.

Oh, yeah!

Fantastic.

Get a nice shot of him coming out, I think.

Oh, wow! Look at him.

He's in good shape.

-How'd you get on, Steve?

-OK.

-Great.

Amazing sight, seeing them swim.

I've never seen that before today.

So what happens now, Steve?

From this point on, you've got your photos.

I think, more importantly,

you've got a kind of taste of the essence of the landscape here.

Yeah, I have, definitely.

I'll go back now and collate all the photos I've got, you know,

pick out the best ones that I could potentially use for paintings,

whether it's of bits of landscape, rocks, the hinds, the stags, whatever.

Do a few sketches, come up with a few ideas, and hopefully come up with the big painting.

'My plan is to unveil the painting during the big New Year's Eve bash at Niall's hotel.

'The money it raises will fund a big print run of my trail guides,

'and the profits from THEM will go straight into environmental projects.'

Now, I might look as though I'm heading off to St Kilda

with all this foul weather gear, but I'm not.

I'm about to bath the dog.

One of us living here stinks,

and I'm pretty confident it's not me.

So Rubes,

you ready?

He hates being bathed, by the way.

So, er...

OK. Ready, Rubes?

Fantastic. You think you're going for a walk, don't you? OK, and left.

OK, Rubes. Go on!

'Thanks to all the peat in the water,

'it's dirty brown before we even start.

'And it's only going to get worse.'

Get lathery. Well done.

Brilliant. Well done.

Rubes, this is perfumed shampoo.

Good lad.

All the local dogs will be taking the mickey, won't they?

There we go then, Rubes.

Nearly there, Rubes.

Quick rinse.

Do you want a blow-dry? No?

There we are. That'll be a tenner.

You do smell...

..like a window box.

There we are.

Rubes, out you get.

Hey! Well done.

You smell...

Oh, you smell fantastic!

Get out there and pull.

'That's Rubes sorted, but the chores keep mounting up.

'With my days as busy as ever, some jobs have to wait until after dark.'

For some reason best known to themselves,

the pigs ate their last front door.

And of course, the wind really howls in,

and you need to keep the heat in that their bodies... Ouch!

Not easy doing DIY when you've got large pigs eating your ankles.

The interesting thing is, it's...

about 4.30 in the afternoon at the moment.

The daylight is so brief.

You see, the sun just peeks shyly above the horizon, then disappears.

So you've just got to make the most of it, and you work, often, into the evening.

Mind your nose! That'd really hurt.

It's interesting that your rhythms adjust to this very basic,

kind of feral thing of the light.

I find I'm really - ow! - tired by...

by five o'clock. You know, it's just winter rhythms.

'But Uist folk aren't the kind to quietly hibernate.

'With the nights starting to get longer, entertainment moves indoors,

'and everyone starts to gear up for the Christmas ceilidhs.'

This is my debut ceilidh lesson.

And it ain't going to be pretty.

CEILIDH MUSIC PLAYS

Whee-oo!

That was a very subdued one - very middle class.

Which way do I go?

I go... Oh, down to the bottom. Oh, right.

Oh, right.

-You cast off to the side.

-OK.

Oh, that hand out?

Oh, that's perfect! That was seamless.

I'm wildly spinning out of control.

Very good!

I'm not going to remember that in the heat of battle.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Not used to doing things like that sober.

'It's really important, things like this at this time of year, up in these islands,

'cos the whole community moves indoors, and you can see why this type of dancing

'has developed up here, cos it's everyone dancing together.'

It's fantastic. Just leave your dignity by the door, and you get stuck in.

Really, really enjoyed that. I'm hooked. Brilliant.

These islands are a globally significant place for migratory birds and wading birds.

And one of the most glamorous -

the kind of superstar of all of them - are the swans.

'Whooper and mute swans come from as far afield as Siberia

to spend a relatively mild winter on the Uists.

'Of the two, the whooper swans, with the yellow beak,

'are the rarest visitors.

'There are about 200 in all, and most of them return to the Arctic to breed.

'But a tiny number stay year round,

'making them a particular attraction.'

There's only three breeding pairs of whooper swans in Scotland.

And one of them's here,

and they have an area that they kind of work, as it were.

It's almost like their patch of three lochs.

And this is one of the lochs, and there's a couple more over there.

It's animals like this, I think,

that represent a great asset for these islands.

And it's a critical time

in the future of the Western Isles,

cos they're haemorrhaging people.

People are just disappearing,

and they've got world-class attractions like this.

You know, one of the best places in the world to see migrating birds.

And it's an asset they need to celebrate and develop, I think,

for the future of the islands.

You can see it's a big old metabolic effort to get airborne.

They need a runway, which is why these lochs are so perfect for them.

And the Uists, where the water is land and the land is water,

is an ideal stopping-off point for them.

It's a great sight, though. It's worth waiting for.

It's early December,

which is great news if you're a small child, for instance - very exciting.

But it's pretty bleak news, I'm sad to say, if you're a turkey.

And the time has come to take 'em off to be...

to be slaughtered.

OK, chaps. Nothing to be alarmed about.

'The turkeys are another important part of my fundraising drive.

'The money I get for them will go towards the trail guides and interpretation boards.

'I'm keeping one for my own Christmas meal, but the rest have buyers lined up.'

Sorry, chaps, sorry. Come on. Look at the size of those drumsticks.

Come on. In, in, in.

I've quite enjoyed having the turkeys. They're quite a bright bird, as birds go.

Come on in. Come on in.

That way, that way, that way.

The grey ones are the smart ones, I think.

He's always been a bit of a maverick, that grey one.

Come on, chum.

Come on.

There he is, going quietly into the good night,

or whatever the expression is.

Pigs are observing this entire scene

rather nervously, I think.

But the whole idea of raising these turkeys was to raise money for the ranger position.

And each turkey's - what? - 30, 40 quid. Maybe a bit more.

So 250 quid or so

towards the local environmental projects,

so money well spent.

Although not entirely sure the turkeys would agree with that.

'Turkeys gone, it's a reminder that I'm leaving MYSELF in a couple of weeks.

'Despite more than five months of trying, I still haven't seen an otter,

'the absolute poster boy of Hebridean wildlife.

'But today I'm meeting up with my old mate Jimmy MacLetchie,

'who used to be the ranger here. He's found some amazing evidence

'that there's a whole family living less than a mile from my cottage.'

This is one of my favourite walks.

-And it's plainly an area of huge otter activity, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Look at this.

-Yeah.

They're just marking this area here, the sprint.

It's known as a sprinting site. It's almost like putting their perfume and odour on there

and all the coding for other otters, that only otters can understand.

-They'll come along and sniff this, and they'll put a sprint on top of it as well.

-Look at that.

That's really fresh.

That must be... What do you think, Jimmy? This morning?

Well, it must be fairly fresh, because it's still not crusted.

Yeah. It's not frozen either, and you can see in here, as well,

the otoliths.

The otoliths are the ear bones of fish, basically,

and they're very, very tough.

That's how you can identify what animals

marine animals have been eating - which fish species - by their otoliths.

They build up these little mounds

and the nitrates and everything going through the soil actually enriches it

and the grass starts to grow and becomes a lot greener and richer than anywhere else.

In simple terms, a pooing house.

-Yeah! Right.

-HE GROANS

Got to stop making that noise when I stand up. Why don't you make that noise?

Can you see the...

Oh, just on the... We're talking up there, on the distance, yeah.

Oh, wow! Look at that.

I mean, look at all that. That's brand new.

Last night, probably, or early this morning.

-So that's a valuable piece of real estate in there.

-It is. Prime spot.

Prime spot, yeah, beautiful views.

They slide as well, otters. They run along and go down on their bellies. This is a natural slope.

Of course, yeah, just straight down to the sea.

-You can just imagine them lolloping.

-Yes.

He goes into that puddle there, he's almost sliding into this.

You see where he's come in here,

and he's splashed into there and broken the ice, then come in here.

Oh, so this is really... There we are.

He's used that so recently that he's broken this ice.

And then he's come out and shaken.

You can still see the wetness there.

Wow. But of course, this is really important, isn't it?

Fresh water for them to wash themselves, and keep that waterproof integrity in the coating.

You can actually see where the body's gone in.

There's thicker ice here.

This has formed today.

Isn't that amazing?

-And you say this is one of the most dramatic you've ever seen?

-Yeah, it's incredible,

cos normally they're scattered way over the coastline, but this is so intense to me.

-There must be at least three otters here, or more, looking at the amount of activity.

-Yeah.

It just shows you -

such a bleak environment, yet we just found otter heaven.

Fantastic, fantastic.

'Otter heaven, but no otters.

'These, though, are the clearest signs that I've seen yet,

'all thanks to local knowledge.

'So I'm going to follow up any other leads I can find,

'in the hope of that magical encounter before I leave.'

The house is a hovel and I want Christmas to be special,

so I'm cleaning up.

I've no idea what...

weird and ancient part of his dog DNA had a problem with Hoovers.

Oh, sorry, Rubes! Sorry.

-VACUUM STOPS

-There you go, Rubes.

You killed it.

Being a bloke, you know, you've got to have a massive tree, haven't you?

I need some pebbles, Rubes.

Come on, then.

Rubes, come here.

Thank you.

Good height, this tree, for me.

Just right.

# In the lane

# Snow is glistening

# A beautiful sight

# We're happy tonight

# Walking in a winter wonderland... #

It's not something I'm particularly into, actually - putting big lights up

all over the outside of houses at Christmas. It's a bit of a tradition in some places, isn't it?

But this place is kind of in the middle of nowhere. It'd be a lovely thing to come back to,

I think, just to see the sort of festive lights twinkling in the distance. And it's a one-off for me.

Chance to spend a Christmas in this cottage - middle of nowhere.

There we go - nice and festive.

My house can now be seen from space.

Come on, Rubes, in we go.

# Walking in a winter wonderland. #

This is it. This is the bleak midwinter.

It's the winter solstice, which is the shortest day of the year,

so we're at a turning point, really.

From now on, the days get longer and we start pushing inexorably towards spring.

So it's a day of celebration, really, for local people.

Kind of at a turning point.

The dunes here, you can see. It's midday, and the sun doesn't even get up above the dunes.

It really just peeks over the horizon,

and you get these gunmetal grey skies. Rubes!

Rubes goes completely insane because of the roar of the waves and the feel of the wind in his fur.

And I'm a bit the same myself,

so my beach patrolling duties continue.

But what I'm doing is trying to run them to stay warm.

Come on, then, Rubes, let's go. Let's go.

'It's...really cold now.

'It's proper North Atlantic cold, you know -

'this wind shrieking off the water. It's got real venom about it now,

'and when you get out there, you get cold so quickly - the wind chill, you know.'

Come on.

Friend of mine from down south

has bought me a hat and sent it up to me

because they're worried about me.

I'll put it on.

First time Rubes saw me in it, he attacked me,

and then he attacked the hat.

He obviously thought I was under some sort of assault from some weird clingy creature.

There we are - ready for anything now. You ready, Rubes?

Come on, then, Rubes.

It's my first kind of really, REALLY cold night.

Perfectly still,

and all around me the hills are glinting in the moonlight.

There we are. That's the moon.

And it feels like I'm absolutely, utterly in the middle of nowhere.

And if you think I look scary on this camera,

wait till you see my dog.

HE CHUCKLES

Rubes, you look terrifying!

Great eyes! Good work with the eyes.

Rubes, that's really scary!

Come on in. Come on.

Christmas Eve, and it's deep and crisp and even.

It's a winter wonderland. Look at that.

It was minus 16 last night.

REALLY cold. Obviously, minus 16 is pretty cold.

Everything is frozen up - look.

This, by they way, is, I think,

the nicest place I've ever spent Christmas.

Webster, top of the tree.

Don't think I've ever spent Christmas

in a more cosy, idyllic, festive setting.

And there's mission control for Christmas dinner tomorrow.

And Rubes, my Christmas companion,

is fast asleep on the bed,

beside himself with excitement, hoping that Santa comes.

Wow, looks great!

# Have yourself

# A merry little Christmas... #

Christmas morning.

Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas, wherever you are.

I'm off to feed the pigs.

Come on, Rubes.

I've got them an apple each for Christmas.

Morning, pigs.

Here you are, chaps - here's an apple. There you go.

Christmas apple.

Come on, Rubes.

Massive gin and tonic.

Right! Come on, then, chaps.

As I pour this out, by the way,

I'd like to remind you that today, I'm going swimming.

Local tradition, apparently,

which I'm deeply suspicious about.

But first, it's time for presents.

In most households, it's all about the kids.

In mine, for "kids", read "dog".

Here we go, Rubes.

Rubes, you ready? Are you ready?

Look at that, Rubes.

Look at that, Rubes. It's a stick.

So that's Reuben's present out the way.

But I know

that, er, he's got me a present as well.

What could it be?

It's a pebble.

That's lovely. Thanks, Rubes.

Very Christmassy scene, in a way, obviously with the frost

and the, er...

And the whole thing of being on the islands and the sense of community.

So I think it's a great place to spend Christmas.

Perfect place to spend Christmas.

Now heading down to the beach,

where lots of families get together and just have a few drinks

and check each other out and just make sure, you know,

everyone's had a good Christmas and everyone's OK.

And then a few friends coming round this evening.

It's always quite nerve-racking, isn't it, because I'm heading off for my swim,

and all I can see is ice-rimed shores

and iron-hard ground, coated in frost.

There are masses of people here.

Good grief.

Right.

-Merry Christmas.

-Merry Christmas.

-Whoo!

-Have that one. Looks better.

I think everyone's edging down to the beach

for the traditional...plunge.

I was saying to Rob the other day, I'm deeply suspicious of the whole swimming tradition thing,

but I want to be going at about 40 mph when I hit the sea.

-I think that's the idea, isn't it?

-Yes.

I've been doing a fair amount of research

into winter swimming in the Outer Hebrides,

and it's something that's been going on for years.

And it turns out that between 1742 and 1896...

..cold-water swimming was always done in the Outer Hebrides...

in a mankini.

LAUGHTER

Right.

How bad can it be?

I'd like to point out that is very cold.

THE CROWD CHEERS

-Well done, mate.

-Well done, man. I'm proud of you.

-I think your beard kept you warm.

-Yeah!

Delighted I did it. Feel a new man.

A new man. Right, I need to get out of my mankini.

'Back at the cottage, I'm cooking my first ever Christmas dinner -

'one of my own home-grown turkeys, with all the trimmings.

'There's loads more than Rubes and I could get through,

'so we've invited some friends - among them Jimmy,

'whose knowledge as the ex-ranger has been invaluable, and Alison,

'who works at the local community centre and has helped to steer me

'through the politics of life in the Uists.'

-Wow, look at this.

-That's enormous!

It is a monster, isn't it?

I've been on the phone to my mum most of the afternoon.

Like "Mum, it's starting to bubble a bit. Is that all right?"

"Yeah, it's absolutely fine".

Haven't been in touch for five months, and then suddenly, she gets 12 calls in one afternoon.

Look at the size of that.

Looks like Usain Bolt's leg.

An entire drumstick.

Parmesan-glazed parsnip,

butter-and-lemon-glazed carrots,

-Brussels sprouts with smoked bacon...

-Yes.

..and my own... And Bernard.

-Bernard's right leg.

-It's too big to eat, that!

Can we just watch you eating?

-Thank you very much, Monty.

-Just a little something I rustled up.

I think the parsnips are a triumph.

Amazing, you know, things I've been growing here

that you guys don't know about.

'The piece de resistance is Alison's flaming clootie dumpling,

'a local twist on the traditional Christmas pud.'

-That's going now.

-That's going, yeah.

'That's it. End of a perfect Christmas day.'

Like a little Vesuvius.

'..in so many ways.

'To go down the beach this morning and see everyone down there

'and realise how many people I've got to know over my time in the islands...'

Gigantic plate of food.

'And then have a meal this evening

'with these people I've come to know on the islands over the time I've been here.'

So...a perfect day...

..in a perfect place with perfect company.

And I think you can't ask much more than that for Christmas.

HE BLOWS

HE SPLUTTERS

That didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to.

This morning is one of the first mornings for I don't know how long

where the ground hasn't been frozen solid

and the pigs' water hasn't been frozen.

You can see they're tucked up nice and warm in their little house.

That's their front door. That's their third front door.

They keep eating their front doors for some reason. So morning, pigs!

It's really hard for them to move on this ground when it's frozen,

so they tend to stay inside.

Morning, Streaky.

How are you? You all right?

Morning, Smokey. How's it going?

The size of them.

It's very hard for them to move on this ground. They're like rugby players in stilettos.

They do this - "Ow, ow, ooh, ow!",

cos the ground's really hard, isn't it, chaps?

Even from when they were piglets,

they still have the same sort of little characteristics.

Streaky, who's the boar, has his vulnerable spot,

which is just there.

That causes his knees to buckle.

Easy. Easy, Streaky, go on.

Go on, fight it. You can stay up. You can...

No! Go on.

And down he goes.

They've been an absolute pleasure to have, these pigs.

They're great company and we have a little natter every morning.

Oi! I've really enjoyed having them.

You know, resilient,

very friendly, very docile.

Yeah, it's been grand.

It's been good knowing them, but I'll only know them for a couple more days.

Here we go.

There we go.

The gentleman you can see trudging over the headland behind me there is Andy,

who is a local guy who watches otters along here.

His house is just there - beautiful house.

Sometimes he takes a kayak out and gets incredibly close to them,

and that is what we're going to be doing today.

Five and a half months I've been waiting for today.

So good things come to those who wait,

and karma demands that I have a close encounter with an otter today.

'Andy McKinnon's been watching and filming his local otters for the past four years,

'and he has an impressive strike rate.'

-Where's the best point, Andy? Just here?

-Just go in here.

'But as I know to my cost, there's no such thing as a guaranteed sighting.'

-What percentage chance would you say if you were a betting man?

-Difficult to say.

I saw four yesterday.

Could be none today.

The old "I saw four yesterday" line! I've heard that a lot.

And it's just a question of just sort of waiting, isn't it, and looking for that distinct bow wave.

But this is the best chance yet, I'd say.

Absolutely beautiful evening.

It's definitely THE way to see an otter, isn't it, doing this?

You're down at water level, you're silent, you can just sit quietly. That's the key, isn't it?

You know, right in the heart of where they're hunting, where they're operating.

-HE WHISPERS:

-We've just heard the noise of what may be an otter

in this bay here.

Trying to look as inconspicuous as we possibly can in a bright orange canoe.

Oh, there he is.

There's an otter...just here.

Can see an otter.

So this is it. At the eleventh hour of my sixth month...

..we get our close encounter.

He's chilling out of an evening.

Whoa!

Great stuff!

He's moving closer and closer, so we're just sitting tight.

With any luck... There he is! He's just behind me there.

And closer and closer and closer. We're going to really encounter...

I've waited a very long time for this.

He just popped up about...

..three feet in front of the tip of the canoe.

I've never seen an alarmed otter before.

It's amazing.

I could have touched him with my paddle.

I think he may have clocked us.

Yes, he did, didn't he, plainly.

Fantastic.

'Back at the cottage, it's time to start my farewells.'

Oi! Smokey and Streaky are leaving.

A trailer's going to picking them up soon. Always knew this moment would arrive.

Time to say goodbye to the pigs.

All right, all right, fellas.

Oi, knock it off.

But they've been great animals,

these, and they've been great company.

The whole reason for having them was to raise money for the ranger position with their meat,

so this morning I went to the cashpoint and I got out £200 of my own money

that I'm going to donate to local environmental projects.

And Smokey and Streaky here are going to go to a city farm

and live long, fat, dumb, happy lives.

'The plane's bringing in Carole Burke,

'who manages the Almond Valley city farm, near Edinburgh.

'She's Smokey and Streaky's ticket out of here, so I'm hoping they'll be on best behaviour.

'They're booked on the early ferry tomorrow, assuming all goes well today.'

-Hello, Streaky. I know. This is Streaky.

-Streaky.

And this is Smokey.

You can tell them apart.

Smokey's got black ears,

-and Streaky's got...

-White.

-And the sort of people you get visiting, the sort of people that come along?

-It's families.

It's a very family-orientated farm,

and we also have school groups that come to learn about animals as well.

This, by the way, is Heather and Ian,

who are coming to take Smokey and Streaky.

Hello, Heather.

-Hello.

-How are you?

'Heather's the crofter I got the pigs from originally, and she'll be transporting them to the mainland'.

-And this is Carole.

-Pleased to meet you.

-Hi, lovely to meet you. Two kisses.

-And this is Ian.

-How do?

Well, let the fun begin. Off we go.

They might just go straight in, actually.

Round here, chaps, come on. In you go.

Come on.

Come on.

You ever heard of that thing where you get them to go into a bin, and then you back them in somewhere?

You ever heard of that?

I know this looks like lunacy.

Nothing to worry about.

CAROLE CHUCKLES

Can I just say how intelligent my pigs are?

Because this is the weak spot. They know this is a weak spot.

And we've left him at the weak spot.

Well done, Ian.

Yeah, OK.

OK, if you give me that board in. Quick, quick, quick!

Yeah, I've got him, I've got him.

There you go, there he goes. There he goes.

And if we close that divide and if we close the gate, yeah.

THEY CHEER

Piece of cake.

-THEY LAUGH

-Piece of cake.

Move it forward.

Well done. Carole, I assure you they're not normally that difficult.

-They're normally terribly well behaved.

-I'm having second thoughts!

You're city slickers now.

Not country boys any more.

See you, Streaky. See you, Smokey.

Take it easy. Enjoy your life as celebrities.

I wouldn't get too complacent, Rubes. You're next, pal.

-CAROLE CHUCKLES

-If I can persuade Carole.

-What did you have in here? Was it turkeys?

-Turkeys, yes.

We started off with just the one run, but they got, strangely enough, bigger when I fed them.

The final few posts still need to be hammered in on the Udal walk,

the North Uist walk, which is my favourite walk

and Jimmy's favourite walk.

So I've left those posts, so me and Jimmy can hammer them in together.

I just thought it'd be a really nice way to sort of finish the whole thing.

Assuming we can batter it in to the iron-hard tundra

that is the Udal peninsula at the moment.

Shall we take a little walk round and maybe look at a spot to put a post up?

Cos that's the idea of the trails, isn't it, that you can kind of see the next post?

This is a very tidy Land Rover.

Uncharacteristically tidy.

Right.

Wow, Monty!

That's quite something, isn't it? Why here?

Er...

Well, I know what I felt when I first walked up this rise and I looked at that beach.

One of the reasons for putting in the trails and all that

is to try and share that experience with other people who come to the islands,

and try and share that sense of wonder,

of being exposed to views like this.

-Wow.

-It's amazing, isn't it? Just rock hard.

It's pretty rough.

-Pretty good.

-Oh, the final symbolic clout. Go on.

Go on, miss it.

Hey!

There we go.

-That's about it.

-Well done, mate.

-Well done, sir.

-Well done. Thank you so much.

-Really. Thanks for all your help round the islands.

-I need to get my car keys.

I thought we would have a symbolic bottle.

Thank you so much for coming here.

-My pleasure, mate, my pleasure.

-And for doing what you're done.

Well, thank you for your hospitality and many cheers.

Slainte mhath.

Your fingers will be welded to that bottle now.

'New Year's Eve, or Hogmanay, as it's known in the Highlands and the islands -

always a big deal this time of year up here.

But it's particularly poignant and special for me

because, of course, this is the end of my time here. It's the culmination of six months' work,

and we've got the Langass Lodge full of friends

and people I've got to know over the last six months,

who've all helped me out in some way or another.

And I'm hoping for a real humdinger of an evening.

It's a sort of fond farewell to the islands, really.

'On the agenda tonight, we've got good food...'

This is proper winter food.

'..good company, good music...'

BAND PLAYS A SOFT-ROCK TUNE

..and also unveil the picture. Now, the picture is the oil painting

that Steve Burgess, the wildlife artist who was up here about a month and a half ago...

We took him out into the rut, the stag rut.

And he was blown away by it, and he did a picture

that we're going to sell to try and raise money for local environmental projects.

'Steve's paintings sell for up to £15,000,

'and he's promised to donate half the proceeds to the ranger fund.'

So that's a very, very significant painting.

Been a magical full stop to my time up here, really - just couldn't be better.

Surrounded by my friends, all dancing, having a great time.

-You're always welcome back.

-Great.

Leaving is going to be hard. It really is.

-ALL:

-Three, two, one...

-Happy new year!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

ALL: # Should auld acquaintance be forgot

# And never brought to mind?

# Should auld acquaintance be forgot

# For the sake of auld lang syne? #

Happy new year, by the way.

-Kiss me. Mwah!

-We're going to miss you.

Oh, happy new year, mate!

Have a good one. Have a great summer.

-Have a great summer.

-See you back.

CHEERING

-CROWD CHEERS

-Got to make that noise at firework displays. That noise.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

REFLECTIVE GAELIC SONG PLAYS

'Overnight, the snow and plummeting temperatures have transformed the winter landscape.

'For someone about to head south, it's a timely reminder that the year-round inhabitants

'of the islands can expect the weather to get worse before it gets better.'

It's an interesting time to leave, because January/February,

everyone tells me up here, is the really tough time up here

because the big winter storms come in, and it's sort of grey and dank.

And the interesting thing about my time up here is

December and November have been the two most beautiful months of my whole time up here.

So I think the lingering feeling with me is a...

a feeling of wanting to come back.

This is my final meeting with the ranger committee.

It's almost a chance for me to see if I've passed muster -

you know, to see if I've done the job while I'm here and find out how they've viewed my efforts.

So the main item on the agenda today is the handover,

the financial position and tying up loose ends.

Yes. So shall I fill you in on what's still to come?

I am desperately trying to get hold of the walks booklets

and the interpretation boards to get them down here before I leave the islands.

One of the reasons is that I spoke to CalMac and they said,

"Absolutely fine. You can screw it onto the area that they've set aside,

"which is in the kids' area, when you leave," which would be lovely.

Nice final gesture, putting the interpretation board in. But if I haven't got them, I can't do it.

So I'm hoping, tomorrow, to pick them up.

And the final thing for me, really,

is to say thank you very much

for looking after me while I've been here.

I think one of the interesting things

is that you have actually demonstrated

-that there is a need for a ranger service.

-Yeah.

And personally, I hope that what comes out of this is that

we've actually created a framework

which will enable a ranger service to be started up again.

That's music to my ears, quite frankly.

I've been truly happy in that cottage.

I think it's a combination of things. I mean, who wouldn't be?

It's the most beautiful cottage.

I've also had, while I've been here, a sort of genuine sense of purpose.

And the vindication of that, for me,

was hearing Andrew say at the meeting that they thought

one of the things I'd done was really show the value of the ranger here.

So it was an ambition realised in so many ways -

doing the ranger position, living somewhere like this, becoming part of the community.

So it was at the end of my rainbow in every sense, I think.

Come on, fool. Come on, Rubes. Oi!

Back to Bristol, Rubes.

Off we go. Come on, Rubes.

Come on.

Rubes, leave the stone.

My ferry pulls away in an hour. I've been here six months,

and the interpretation boards and the walks booklets,

which are the culmination of all my efforts here,

are, as we speak, heading into Lochmaddy.

Richard has been snowed into his house for five days

and has just managed to get out this morning.

He's on the Isle of Lewis.

One of the crew - one of the film crew -

has very kindly gone across on the ferry

with a little handheld video thing like you take on holiday

to get the actual handover moment from Richard.

-Happy new year.

-Happy new year.

So this is a real race against the clock.

-These are the rock pool displays.

-A-ha.

And it has literally come down to the last 20 minutes

about whether I can actually get my hands on them before I leave.

The reason it's vital they're there is,

I want to actually screw one of them onto the, er, wall...

of the ferry, the bulkhead.

So...yeah.

It really has come down to this last few minutes about whether

the boards will be there when I get there, and I'll be gutted if they're not.

No-one here.

Wait there, Rubes.

Board the ferry in about ten minutes.

I think I've just seen it coming round the corner there.

-Ah! Hello, chaps.

-Hi.

Hello.

-Hello, mate. How are you? All right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, good.

-This COULD be the interpretation boards and walks booklets.

-Ah, right.

-Which is lovely, mate, to have you here when they...

-This is your handover.

Don't even get out of the car if you haven't got them.

-Made it!

-Have you got them?

-I have indeed.

-Well done.

-Well done, well done.

-Yes.

-Fantastic.

And with about five minutes to spare.

-These are the boards.

-Amazing. Fantastic.

The booklets.

Now, these are just a sample, I hasten to add. There's going to be a mass print run.

5,000 of these will be spread round the islands. And mate, I'm so pleased you're here.

This is all your expertise as well.

Hey!

-Wow.

-There we are.

That is stunning.

There's so many memories.

And your favourite, Udal. There's the last post we hammered in.

That's great. Really good.

Amazing. Here we are. Let's have a quick look at the boards.

-Wow!

-It's lovely, isn't it?

That is stunning.

-Fantastic.

-Excellent, well done.

-Thank you.

In the very nick of time. Last-minute stuff. What we're hoping, Jimmy,

is one day to actually have a coastal route that covers all the different environments,

so it covers the sand and the rocks and the macha and the shallows and...

-Wow! I think they're stunning. Just so beautiful to have something like this.

-Thank you, Jimmy.

Yeah, it is.

Mate. Well done.

-Andrew, thank you so much.

-Thank you very much.

-My pleasure.

-Alison.

-Bye, Monty.

-Take care. Thank you for looking after me and feeding me.

This is my very final act as the ranger -

quite fittingly, on the ferry as I leave the islands.

It's just to get this interpretation board put up.

Hopefully, this'll inspire the next generation of marine biologists

and rangers and conservationists.

I would have tried to do it up there. There you go.

That end.

Great detail here, by the way.

There's a rock pool species that you don't see very often.

Photo number five has got Rubes in it.

Fantastic.

-Thank you.

-OK.

Good stuff.

All that work.

That's Jimmy and Alison.

It's a poignant moment - there's no doubt about it.

I don't tend to get overly sentimental about places when I leave them,

because I've done so much travelling in my life

and I'm constantly moving on to the next thing.

But there are certain places that leave a mark on you,

and I think this place has left an indelible mark on me.

And my life's a little bit richer for knowing these islands.

I get the feeling that this isn't the end of something

as the islands disappear into the distance.

That it's actually the beginning of a lifelong association

for me with the Uists and Barra.

Come on, then, Rubes. Come on.

Come on, Rubes.

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