Episode 6 Monty Halls' Great Hebridean Escape


Episode 6

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Transcript


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'My six months as a voluntary environmental ranger in the Outer Hebrides are nearly over.'

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That is amazing. What a shot.

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'But the wildlife of the islands is about to give me a spectacular send-off.'

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(I can see an otter.)

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Welcome to my Great Escape.

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Come on, Rubes! Come on.

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'It's early December, and I'm on my way to a very important meeting.

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'I'm five months into my stint working as a voluntary environmental ranger

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'in the southern islands of the Outer Hebrides.

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'I've been using my background as a marine biologist to gather material

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'for interpretation boards about the rocky shore.'

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It was rock pools that set it all off for me. It's the reason I'm standing here today.

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'And I've been researching walking trails on each of

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'the six main islands that I cover, from Berneray in the north...'

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..to Barra in the south!

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'Now, co-ordinates have been set...

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'..marker posts delivered to far-flung locations...'

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Just up there is the black house that Bonnie Prince Charlie hid in.

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'..and hammered into position.

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'But all the information is in my head,

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'and that's not going to be any good when the first tourists start to arrive

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'and want a trail to follow.

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'It's time to get it all down on paper.'

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Just hoving into view on the horizon is the ferry.

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And on that ferry is a man who's going to turn my half-baked ideas

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and hare-brained schemes into reality, hopefully.

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He's a designer come down to create leaflets and interpretation boards

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to give information for tourists in a nice, digestible form when they come to visit the islands.

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Hi. Are you Richard?

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Are you Richard?

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Hello, Richard, how are you?

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'Richard Chyzy has come down from Lewis,

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'one of the islands to the north of me.

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'He moved there from Northumberland just six months ago, to combine

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'his love of wildlife with his work as a graphic designer.'

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Just to sort of bullet-point it,

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I thought a leaflet with the walks in.

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I'm trying to do one on each island and produce a little booklet.

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And £1 of that will go to the retailer who sells it,

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and a couple of pounds will go to the ranger project, so go to local environmental projects.

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-That's a good idea, yeah.

-Yeah. The next priority, I'd say, is the rock pooling,

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and happily, I have done, as you can see, a superb design.

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What I've tried to do is pick species that kids can

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definitely find very easily, so it's a nice, accessible thing for them.

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You know, they're off on a hunt to go and find them,

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and the rules about putting animals in buckets and giving them somewhere to hide...

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'I'm desperate to get my hands on the material before I leave

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'and with Christmas just three weeks away, Richard's on a tight deadline.'

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-But the workbook is the most urgent thing, yeah?

-Yeah.

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-Right.

-It's so important in all this that...

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They're sort of collating all the work that I've done here

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into a tangible form that can benefit people in the future.

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-That's all about design, isn't it, and yeah, making it accessible.

-Yeah, it's all doable.

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-Three weeks is doable. It'll be hard work, but it's possible.

-We've hit that sort of point now, haven't we?

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Where it just has to be done.

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'The pressure's off me now,

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'but I still need to raise more cash to pay for a big print run of trail guides.

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'I do have plans, and the most ambitious should raise several thousand pounds.'

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Going stalking again today. But it's stalking with a difference,

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because there's a friend of mine called Steve Burgess, who's up here for a few days.

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And, er, Steve is an internationally renowned wildlife artist.

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I've invited him up here because I think the rutting stag

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out on the hills of the Outer Hebrides is one of the great wildlife spectacles.

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So we're going to go in today. We're going to try and get really close

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and try and get that magic shot of a stag roaring.

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Then Steve's going to go away and do a picture of it,

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and we're going to sell the picture to raise money for the ranger position and environmental projects.

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Our guide for the day is Niall Leveson-Gower.

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He runs the local hunting lodge

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and if anyone can find a stag in rut, he can.

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There we are. Look at that, right on top of the hill.

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So, Steve, why haven't you painted a stag before?

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Is this just something that's missing from your repertoire?

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Yeah, it is, basically.

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I mean, I've not been to this part of Scotland before.

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Normally, I end up going to places like Africa,

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painting all the big beasties out there - elephants, lions, et cetera.

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It is a classic painting, isn't it?

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The Monarch Of The Glen is probably the most famous wildlife painting.

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It is, and I suppose that's one of the reasons I've maybe steered clear of it.

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Because, er... A lot of places, you see the classic stag pose on the hillside.

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It's difficult, without really putting some thought into it, to do something a little bit different.

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Wow. Certainly seem to be a few around.

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Just get into the midst of it all.

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See that sort of cliffy face there?

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-Yeah.

-Then we go up a little bit from the ridge.

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Oh, I've got him. I've got him.

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How does this compare, Steve, to some of the stuff you've done in Africa?

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At the moment, it's comparing very well.

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Big difference is, in Africa, you don't get a chance to get out the vehicle and stalk the animals.

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That's what I'm enjoying about being here -

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getting out and getting one to one with nature, as it were.

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MONTY WHISPERS:

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Oh, that's the shot.

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Going to get them swimming.

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That is amazing. What a shot.

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Oh, yeah!

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Fantastic.

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Get a nice shot of him coming out, I think.

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Oh, wow! Look at him.

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He's in good shape.

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-How'd you get on, Steve?

-OK.

-Great.

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Amazing sight, seeing them swim.

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I've never seen that before today.

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So what happens now, Steve?

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From this point on, you've got your photos.

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I think, more importantly,

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you've got a kind of taste of the essence of the landscape here.

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Yeah, I have, definitely.

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I'll go back now and collate all the photos I've got, you know,

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pick out the best ones that I could potentially use for paintings,

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whether it's of bits of landscape, rocks, the hinds, the stags, whatever.

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Do a few sketches, come up with a few ideas, and hopefully come up with the big painting.

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'My plan is to unveil the painting during the big New Year's Eve bash at Niall's hotel.

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'The money it raises will fund a big print run of my trail guides,

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'and the profits from THEM will go straight into environmental projects.'

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Now, I might look as though I'm heading off to St Kilda

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with all this foul weather gear, but I'm not.

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I'm about to bath the dog.

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One of us living here stinks,

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and I'm pretty confident it's not me.

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So Rubes,

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you ready?

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He hates being bathed, by the way.

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So, er...

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OK. Ready, Rubes?

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Fantastic. You think you're going for a walk, don't you? OK, and left.

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OK, Rubes. Go on!

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'Thanks to all the peat in the water,

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'it's dirty brown before we even start.

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'And it's only going to get worse.'

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Get lathery. Well done.

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Brilliant. Well done.

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Rubes, this is perfumed shampoo.

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Good lad.

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All the local dogs will be taking the mickey, won't they?

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There we go then, Rubes.

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Nearly there, Rubes.

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Quick rinse.

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Do you want a blow-dry? No?

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There we are. That'll be a tenner.

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You do smell...

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..like a window box.

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There we are.

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Rubes, out you get.

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Hey! Well done.

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You smell...

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Oh, you smell fantastic!

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Get out there and pull.

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'That's Rubes sorted, but the chores keep mounting up.

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'With my days as busy as ever, some jobs have to wait until after dark.'

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For some reason best known to themselves,

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the pigs ate their last front door.

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And of course, the wind really howls in,

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and you need to keep the heat in that their bodies... Ouch!

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Not easy doing DIY when you've got large pigs eating your ankles.

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The interesting thing is, it's...

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about 4.30 in the afternoon at the moment.

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The daylight is so brief.

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You see, the sun just peeks shyly above the horizon, then disappears.

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So you've just got to make the most of it, and you work, often, into the evening.

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Mind your nose! That'd really hurt.

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It's interesting that your rhythms adjust to this very basic,

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kind of feral thing of the light.

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I find I'm really - ow! - tired by...

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by five o'clock. You know, it's just winter rhythms.

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'But Uist folk aren't the kind to quietly hibernate.

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'With the nights starting to get longer, entertainment moves indoors,

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'and everyone starts to gear up for the Christmas ceilidhs.'

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This is my debut ceilidh lesson.

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And it ain't going to be pretty.

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CEILIDH MUSIC PLAYS

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Whee-oo!

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That was a very subdued one - very middle class.

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Which way do I go?

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I go... Oh, down to the bottom. Oh, right.

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Oh, right.

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-You cast off to the side.

-OK.

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Oh, that hand out?

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Oh, that's perfect! That was seamless.

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I'm wildly spinning out of control.

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Very good!

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I'm not going to remember that in the heat of battle.

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Oh, thank you. Thank you.

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Not used to doing things like that sober.

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'It's really important, things like this at this time of year, up in these islands,

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'cos the whole community moves indoors, and you can see why this type of dancing

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'has developed up here, cos it's everyone dancing together.'

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It's fantastic. Just leave your dignity by the door, and you get stuck in.

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Really, really enjoyed that. I'm hooked. Brilliant.

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These islands are a globally significant place for migratory birds and wading birds.

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And one of the most glamorous -

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the kind of superstar of all of them - are the swans.

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'Whooper and mute swans come from as far afield as Siberia

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to spend a relatively mild winter on the Uists.

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'Of the two, the whooper swans, with the yellow beak,

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'are the rarest visitors.

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'There are about 200 in all, and most of them return to the Arctic to breed.

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'But a tiny number stay year round,

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'making them a particular attraction.'

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There's only three breeding pairs of whooper swans in Scotland.

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And one of them's here,

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and they have an area that they kind of work, as it were.

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It's almost like their patch of three lochs.

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And this is one of the lochs, and there's a couple more over there.

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It's animals like this, I think,

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that represent a great asset for these islands.

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And it's a critical time

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in the future of the Western Isles,

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cos they're haemorrhaging people.

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People are just disappearing,

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and they've got world-class attractions like this.

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You know, one of the best places in the world to see migrating birds.

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And it's an asset they need to celebrate and develop, I think,

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for the future of the islands.

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You can see it's a big old metabolic effort to get airborne.

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They need a runway, which is why these lochs are so perfect for them.

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And the Uists, where the water is land and the land is water,

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is an ideal stopping-off point for them.

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It's a great sight, though. It's worth waiting for.

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It's early December,

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which is great news if you're a small child, for instance - very exciting.

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But it's pretty bleak news, I'm sad to say, if you're a turkey.

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And the time has come to take 'em off to be...

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to be slaughtered.

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OK, chaps. Nothing to be alarmed about.

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'The turkeys are another important part of my fundraising drive.

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'The money I get for them will go towards the trail guides and interpretation boards.

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'I'm keeping one for my own Christmas meal, but the rest have buyers lined up.'

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Sorry, chaps, sorry. Come on. Look at the size of those drumsticks.

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Come on. In, in, in.

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I've quite enjoyed having the turkeys. They're quite a bright bird, as birds go.

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Come on in. Come on in.

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That way, that way, that way.

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The grey ones are the smart ones, I think.

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He's always been a bit of a maverick, that grey one.

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Come on, chum.

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Come on.

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There he is, going quietly into the good night,

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or whatever the expression is.

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Pigs are observing this entire scene

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rather nervously, I think.

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But the whole idea of raising these turkeys was to raise money for the ranger position.

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And each turkey's - what? - 30, 40 quid. Maybe a bit more.

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So 250 quid or so

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towards the local environmental projects,

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so money well spent.

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Although not entirely sure the turkeys would agree with that.

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'Turkeys gone, it's a reminder that I'm leaving MYSELF in a couple of weeks.

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'Despite more than five months of trying, I still haven't seen an otter,

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'the absolute poster boy of Hebridean wildlife.

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'But today I'm meeting up with my old mate Jimmy MacLetchie,

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'who used to be the ranger here. He's found some amazing evidence

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'that there's a whole family living less than a mile from my cottage.'

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This is one of my favourite walks.

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-And it's plainly an area of huge otter activity, isn't it?

-Yeah.

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-Look at this.

-Yeah.

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They're just marking this area here, the sprint.

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It's known as a sprinting site. It's almost like putting their perfume and odour on there

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and all the coding for other otters, that only otters can understand.

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-They'll come along and sniff this, and they'll put a sprint on top of it as well.

-Look at that.

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That's really fresh.

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That must be... What do you think, Jimmy? This morning?

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Well, it must be fairly fresh, because it's still not crusted.

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Yeah. It's not frozen either, and you can see in here, as well,

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the otoliths.

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The otoliths are the ear bones of fish, basically,

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and they're very, very tough.

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That's how you can identify what animals

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marine animals have been eating - which fish species - by their otoliths.

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They build up these little mounds

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and the nitrates and everything going through the soil actually enriches it

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and the grass starts to grow and becomes a lot greener and richer than anywhere else.

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In simple terms, a pooing house.

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-Yeah! Right.

-HE GROANS

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Got to stop making that noise when I stand up. Why don't you make that noise?

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Can you see the...

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Oh, just on the... We're talking up there, on the distance, yeah.

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Oh, wow! Look at that.

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I mean, look at all that. That's brand new.

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Last night, probably, or early this morning.

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-So that's a valuable piece of real estate in there.

-It is. Prime spot.

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Prime spot, yeah, beautiful views.

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They slide as well, otters. They run along and go down on their bellies. This is a natural slope.

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Of course, yeah, just straight down to the sea.

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-You can just imagine them lolloping.

-Yes.

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He goes into that puddle there, he's almost sliding into this.

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You see where he's come in here,

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and he's splashed into there and broken the ice, then come in here.

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Oh, so this is really... There we are.

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He's used that so recently that he's broken this ice.

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And then he's come out and shaken.

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You can still see the wetness there.

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Wow. But of course, this is really important, isn't it?

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Fresh water for them to wash themselves, and keep that waterproof integrity in the coating.

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You can actually see where the body's gone in.

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There's thicker ice here.

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This has formed today.

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Isn't that amazing?

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-And you say this is one of the most dramatic you've ever seen?

-Yeah, it's incredible,

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cos normally they're scattered way over the coastline, but this is so intense to me.

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-There must be at least three otters here, or more, looking at the amount of activity.

-Yeah.

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It just shows you -

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such a bleak environment, yet we just found otter heaven.

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Fantastic, fantastic.

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'Otter heaven, but no otters.

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'These, though, are the clearest signs that I've seen yet,

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'all thanks to local knowledge.

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'So I'm going to follow up any other leads I can find,

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'in the hope of that magical encounter before I leave.'

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The house is a hovel and I want Christmas to be special,

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so I'm cleaning up.

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I've no idea what...

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weird and ancient part of his dog DNA had a problem with Hoovers.

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Oh, sorry, Rubes! Sorry.

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-VACUUM STOPS

-There you go, Rubes.

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You killed it.

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Being a bloke, you know, you've got to have a massive tree, haven't you?

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I need some pebbles, Rubes.

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Come on, then.

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Rubes, come here.

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Thank you.

0:21:350:21:37

Good height, this tree, for me.

0:21:400:21:42

Just right.

0:21:420:21:43

# In the lane

0:21:430:21:45

# Snow is glistening

0:21:450:21:48

# A beautiful sight

0:21:480:21:50

# We're happy tonight

0:21:500:21:52

# Walking in a winter wonderland... #

0:21:520:21:56

It's not something I'm particularly into, actually - putting big lights up

0:21:580:22:02

all over the outside of houses at Christmas. It's a bit of a tradition in some places, isn't it?

0:22:020:22:06

But this place is kind of in the middle of nowhere. It'd be a lovely thing to come back to,

0:22:060:22:11

I think, just to see the sort of festive lights twinkling in the distance. And it's a one-off for me.

0:22:110:22:16

Chance to spend a Christmas in this cottage - middle of nowhere.

0:22:160:22:21

There we go - nice and festive.

0:22:210:22:23

My house can now be seen from space.

0:22:230:22:25

Come on, Rubes, in we go.

0:22:260:22:28

# Walking in a winter wonderland. #

0:22:280:22:31

This is it. This is the bleak midwinter.

0:22:420:22:45

It's the winter solstice, which is the shortest day of the year,

0:22:450:22:49

so we're at a turning point, really.

0:22:490:22:51

From now on, the days get longer and we start pushing inexorably towards spring.

0:22:510:22:56

So it's a day of celebration, really, for local people.

0:22:560:22:59

Kind of at a turning point.

0:22:590:23:01

The dunes here, you can see. It's midday, and the sun doesn't even get up above the dunes.

0:23:010:23:06

It really just peeks over the horizon,

0:23:060:23:09

and you get these gunmetal grey skies. Rubes!

0:23:090:23:12

Rubes goes completely insane because of the roar of the waves and the feel of the wind in his fur.

0:23:130:23:18

And I'm a bit the same myself,

0:23:180:23:20

so my beach patrolling duties continue.

0:23:200:23:23

But what I'm doing is trying to run them to stay warm.

0:23:230:23:26

Come on, then, Rubes, let's go. Let's go.

0:23:260:23:28

'It's...really cold now.

0:23:350:23:38

'It's proper North Atlantic cold, you know -

0:23:380:23:40

'this wind shrieking off the water. It's got real venom about it now,

0:23:400:23:45

'and when you get out there, you get cold so quickly - the wind chill, you know.'

0:23:450:23:49

Come on.

0:23:490:23:50

Friend of mine from down south

0:23:510:23:53

has bought me a hat and sent it up to me

0:23:530:23:56

because they're worried about me.

0:23:560:23:58

I'll put it on.

0:23:580:23:59

First time Rubes saw me in it, he attacked me,

0:23:590:24:02

and then he attacked the hat.

0:24:020:24:04

He obviously thought I was under some sort of assault from some weird clingy creature.

0:24:040:24:08

There we are - ready for anything now. You ready, Rubes?

0:24:080:24:11

Come on, then, Rubes.

0:24:110:24:12

It's my first kind of really, REALLY cold night.

0:24:140:24:19

Perfectly still,

0:24:190:24:20

and all around me the hills are glinting in the moonlight.

0:24:200:24:25

There we are. That's the moon.

0:24:250:24:27

And it feels like I'm absolutely, utterly in the middle of nowhere.

0:24:270:24:32

And if you think I look scary on this camera,

0:24:320:24:35

wait till you see my dog.

0:24:350:24:36

HE CHUCKLES

0:24:380:24:40

Rubes, you look terrifying!

0:24:400:24:43

Great eyes! Good work with the eyes.

0:24:430:24:44

Rubes, that's really scary!

0:24:460:24:48

Come on in. Come on.

0:24:480:24:49

Christmas Eve, and it's deep and crisp and even.

0:25:000:25:04

It's a winter wonderland. Look at that.

0:25:040:25:06

It was minus 16 last night.

0:25:150:25:19

REALLY cold. Obviously, minus 16 is pretty cold.

0:25:200:25:23

Everything is frozen up - look.

0:25:230:25:25

This, by they way, is, I think,

0:25:300:25:33

the nicest place I've ever spent Christmas.

0:25:330:25:36

Webster, top of the tree.

0:25:360:25:38

Don't think I've ever spent Christmas

0:25:380:25:40

in a more cosy, idyllic, festive setting.

0:25:400:25:45

And there's mission control for Christmas dinner tomorrow.

0:25:450:25:48

And Rubes, my Christmas companion,

0:25:480:25:51

is fast asleep on the bed,

0:25:510:25:54

beside himself with excitement, hoping that Santa comes.

0:25:540:25:59

Wow, looks great!

0:25:590:26:00

# Have yourself

0:26:020:26:05

# A merry little Christmas... #

0:26:050:26:09

Christmas morning.

0:26:130:26:14

Christmas morning.

0:26:140:26:17

Merry Christmas, wherever you are.

0:26:170:26:19

I'm off to feed the pigs.

0:26:240:26:27

Come on, Rubes.

0:26:270:26:28

I've got them an apple each for Christmas.

0:26:280:26:31

Morning, pigs.

0:26:310:26:33

Here you are, chaps - here's an apple. There you go.

0:26:330:26:36

Christmas apple.

0:26:360:26:38

Come on, Rubes.

0:26:380:26:39

Massive gin and tonic.

0:26:390:26:41

Right! Come on, then, chaps.

0:26:430:26:45

As I pour this out, by the way,

0:26:470:26:50

I'd like to remind you that today, I'm going swimming.

0:26:500:26:53

Local tradition, apparently,

0:26:530:26:55

which I'm deeply suspicious about.

0:26:550:26:57

But first, it's time for presents.

0:26:580:27:01

In most households, it's all about the kids.

0:27:010:27:04

In mine, for "kids", read "dog".

0:27:040:27:08

Here we go, Rubes.

0:27:080:27:09

Rubes, you ready? Are you ready?

0:27:090:27:11

Look at that, Rubes.

0:27:140:27:15

Look at that, Rubes. It's a stick.

0:27:160:27:18

So that's Reuben's present out the way.

0:27:180:27:21

But I know

0:27:210:27:22

that, er, he's got me a present as well.

0:27:220:27:26

What could it be?

0:27:270:27:29

It's a pebble.

0:27:300:27:32

That's lovely. Thanks, Rubes.

0:27:330:27:35

Very Christmassy scene, in a way, obviously with the frost

0:27:440:27:48

and the, er...

0:27:480:27:50

And the whole thing of being on the islands and the sense of community.

0:27:500:27:54

So I think it's a great place to spend Christmas.

0:27:540:27:57

Perfect place to spend Christmas.

0:27:570:27:59

Now heading down to the beach,

0:28:000:28:02

where lots of families get together and just have a few drinks

0:28:020:28:06

and check each other out and just make sure, you know,

0:28:060:28:08

everyone's had a good Christmas and everyone's OK.

0:28:080:28:11

And then a few friends coming round this evening.

0:28:110:28:14

It's always quite nerve-racking, isn't it, because I'm heading off for my swim,

0:28:150:28:19

and all I can see is ice-rimed shores

0:28:190:28:23

and iron-hard ground, coated in frost.

0:28:230:28:27

There are masses of people here.

0:28:270:28:30

Good grief.

0:28:300:28:32

Right.

0:28:350:28:37

-Merry Christmas.

-Merry Christmas.

0:28:370:28:38

-Whoo!

-Have that one. Looks better.

0:28:380:28:41

I think everyone's edging down to the beach

0:28:420:28:45

for the traditional...plunge.

0:28:450:28:48

I was saying to Rob the other day, I'm deeply suspicious of the whole swimming tradition thing,

0:28:490:28:54

but I want to be going at about 40 mph when I hit the sea.

0:28:540:28:58

-I think that's the idea, isn't it?

-Yes.

0:28:580:29:00

I've been doing a fair amount of research

0:29:010:29:04

into winter swimming in the Outer Hebrides,

0:29:040:29:07

and it's something that's been going on for years.

0:29:070:29:10

And it turns out that between 1742 and 1896...

0:29:100:29:16

..cold-water swimming was always done in the Outer Hebrides...

0:29:180:29:21

in a mankini.

0:29:210:29:23

LAUGHTER

0:29:240:29:26

Right.

0:29:290:29:30

How bad can it be?

0:29:300:29:32

I'd like to point out that is very cold.

0:29:580:30:00

THE CROWD CHEERS

0:30:000:30:03

-Well done, mate.

-Well done, man. I'm proud of you.

0:30:050:30:07

-I think your beard kept you warm.

-Yeah!

0:30:070:30:09

Delighted I did it. Feel a new man.

0:30:100:30:13

A new man. Right, I need to get out of my mankini.

0:30:130:30:16

'Back at the cottage, I'm cooking my first ever Christmas dinner -

0:30:310:30:36

'one of my own home-grown turkeys, with all the trimmings.

0:30:360:30:40

'There's loads more than Rubes and I could get through,

0:30:400:30:43

'so we've invited some friends - among them Jimmy,

0:30:430:30:46

'whose knowledge as the ex-ranger has been invaluable, and Alison,

0:30:460:30:50

'who works at the local community centre and has helped to steer me

0:30:500:30:53

'through the politics of life in the Uists.'

0:30:530:30:55

-Wow, look at this.

-That's enormous!

0:30:550:30:58

It is a monster, isn't it?

0:30:580:31:00

I've been on the phone to my mum most of the afternoon.

0:31:030:31:06

Like "Mum, it's starting to bubble a bit. Is that all right?"

0:31:060:31:09

"Yeah, it's absolutely fine".

0:31:090:31:11

Haven't been in touch for five months, and then suddenly, she gets 12 calls in one afternoon.

0:31:110:31:16

Look at the size of that.

0:31:160:31:19

Looks like Usain Bolt's leg.

0:31:190:31:22

An entire drumstick.

0:31:230:31:25

Parmesan-glazed parsnip,

0:31:250:31:28

butter-and-lemon-glazed carrots,

0:31:280:31:31

-Brussels sprouts with smoked bacon...

-Yes.

0:31:310:31:34

..and my own... And Bernard.

0:31:340:31:36

-Bernard's right leg.

-It's too big to eat, that!

0:31:360:31:38

Can we just watch you eating?

0:31:380:31:40

-Thank you very much, Monty.

-Just a little something I rustled up.

0:31:400:31:43

I think the parsnips are a triumph.

0:31:490:31:52

Amazing, you know, things I've been growing here

0:31:520:31:54

that you guys don't know about.

0:31:540:31:57

'The piece de resistance is Alison's flaming clootie dumpling,

0:31:590:32:03

'a local twist on the traditional Christmas pud.'

0:32:030:32:07

-That's going now.

-That's going, yeah.

0:32:070:32:09

'That's it. End of a perfect Christmas day.'

0:32:090:32:13

Like a little Vesuvius.

0:32:130:32:15

'..in so many ways.

0:32:150:32:16

'To go down the beach this morning and see everyone down there

0:32:160:32:19

'and realise how many people I've got to know over my time in the islands...'

0:32:190:32:23

Gigantic plate of food.

0:32:230:32:25

'And then have a meal this evening

0:32:250:32:28

'with these people I've come to know on the islands over the time I've been here.'

0:32:280:32:32

So...a perfect day...

0:32:390:32:41

..in a perfect place with perfect company.

0:32:420:32:46

And I think you can't ask much more than that for Christmas.

0:32:460:32:49

HE BLOWS

0:32:520:32:53

HE SPLUTTERS

0:32:530:32:55

That didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to.

0:32:550:32:58

This morning is one of the first mornings for I don't know how long

0:33:120:33:17

where the ground hasn't been frozen solid

0:33:170:33:19

and the pigs' water hasn't been frozen.

0:33:190:33:21

You can see they're tucked up nice and warm in their little house.

0:33:210:33:24

That's their front door. That's their third front door.

0:33:240:33:27

They keep eating their front doors for some reason. So morning, pigs!

0:33:270:33:32

It's really hard for them to move on this ground when it's frozen,

0:33:330:33:38

so they tend to stay inside.

0:33:380:33:40

Morning, Streaky.

0:33:400:33:42

How are you? You all right?

0:33:420:33:44

Morning, Smokey. How's it going?

0:33:440:33:47

The size of them.

0:33:470:33:49

It's very hard for them to move on this ground. They're like rugby players in stilettos.

0:33:490:33:53

They do this - "Ow, ow, ooh, ow!",

0:33:530:33:56

cos the ground's really hard, isn't it, chaps?

0:33:560:34:00

Even from when they were piglets,

0:34:000:34:02

they still have the same sort of little characteristics.

0:34:020:34:06

Streaky, who's the boar, has his vulnerable spot,

0:34:060:34:10

which is just there.

0:34:100:34:12

That causes his knees to buckle.

0:34:120:34:15

Easy. Easy, Streaky, go on.

0:34:150:34:17

Go on, fight it. You can stay up. You can...

0:34:170:34:20

No! Go on.

0:34:200:34:22

And down he goes.

0:34:220:34:24

They've been an absolute pleasure to have, these pigs.

0:34:240:34:28

They're great company and we have a little natter every morning.

0:34:280:34:31

Oi! I've really enjoyed having them.

0:34:310:34:34

You know, resilient,

0:34:340:34:36

very friendly, very docile.

0:34:360:34:39

Yeah, it's been grand.

0:34:400:34:42

It's been good knowing them, but I'll only know them for a couple more days.

0:34:420:34:47

Here we go.

0:34:490:34:51

There we go.

0:34:530:34:54

The gentleman you can see trudging over the headland behind me there is Andy,

0:35:210:35:26

who is a local guy who watches otters along here.

0:35:260:35:29

His house is just there - beautiful house.

0:35:290:35:31

Sometimes he takes a kayak out and gets incredibly close to them,

0:35:310:35:35

and that is what we're going to be doing today.

0:35:350:35:37

Five and a half months I've been waiting for today.

0:35:370:35:41

So good things come to those who wait,

0:35:410:35:43

and karma demands that I have a close encounter with an otter today.

0:35:430:35:47

'Andy McKinnon's been watching and filming his local otters for the past four years,

0:35:470:35:52

'and he has an impressive strike rate.'

0:35:520:35:54

-Where's the best point, Andy? Just here?

-Just go in here.

0:35:540:35:57

'But as I know to my cost, there's no such thing as a guaranteed sighting.'

0:35:570:36:02

-What percentage chance would you say if you were a betting man?

-Difficult to say.

0:36:020:36:06

I saw four yesterday.

0:36:080:36:10

Could be none today.

0:36:100:36:11

The old "I saw four yesterday" line! I've heard that a lot.

0:36:110:36:15

And it's just a question of just sort of waiting, isn't it, and looking for that distinct bow wave.

0:36:240:36:29

But this is the best chance yet, I'd say.

0:36:310:36:35

Absolutely beautiful evening.

0:36:390:36:42

It's definitely THE way to see an otter, isn't it, doing this?

0:36:460:36:52

You're down at water level, you're silent, you can just sit quietly. That's the key, isn't it?

0:36:520:36:56

You know, right in the heart of where they're hunting, where they're operating.

0:36:560:37:00

-HE WHISPERS:

-We've just heard the noise of what may be an otter

0:37:030:37:07

in this bay here.

0:37:070:37:08

Trying to look as inconspicuous as we possibly can in a bright orange canoe.

0:37:140:37:18

Oh, there he is.

0:37:220:37:23

There's an otter...just here.

0:37:260:37:29

Can see an otter.

0:37:370:37:40

So this is it. At the eleventh hour of my sixth month...

0:37:430:37:48

..we get our close encounter.

0:37:500:37:52

He's chilling out of an evening.

0:37:540:37:57

Whoa!

0:37:570:37:59

Great stuff!

0:37:590:38:00

He's moving closer and closer, so we're just sitting tight.

0:38:000:38:04

With any luck... There he is! He's just behind me there.

0:38:070:38:10

And closer and closer and closer. We're going to really encounter...

0:38:100:38:14

I've waited a very long time for this.

0:38:190:38:22

He just popped up about...

0:38:310:38:33

..three feet in front of the tip of the canoe.

0:38:340:38:37

I've never seen an alarmed otter before.

0:38:410:38:44

It's amazing.

0:38:460:38:48

I could have touched him with my paddle.

0:38:500:38:53

I think he may have clocked us.

0:38:570:38:59

Yes, he did, didn't he, plainly.

0:38:590:39:01

Fantastic.

0:39:040:39:05

'Back at the cottage, it's time to start my farewells.'

0:39:250:39:29

Oi! Smokey and Streaky are leaving.

0:39:290:39:31

A trailer's going to picking them up soon. Always knew this moment would arrive.

0:39:310:39:35

Time to say goodbye to the pigs.

0:39:350:39:36

All right, all right, fellas.

0:39:360:39:39

Oi, knock it off.

0:39:390:39:41

But they've been great animals,

0:39:430:39:45

these, and they've been great company.

0:39:450:39:47

The whole reason for having them was to raise money for the ranger position with their meat,

0:39:470:39:52

so this morning I went to the cashpoint and I got out £200 of my own money

0:39:520:39:56

that I'm going to donate to local environmental projects.

0:39:560:39:59

And Smokey and Streaky here are going to go to a city farm

0:39:590:40:03

and live long, fat, dumb, happy lives.

0:40:030:40:07

'The plane's bringing in Carole Burke,

0:40:100:40:12

'who manages the Almond Valley city farm, near Edinburgh.

0:40:120:40:16

'She's Smokey and Streaky's ticket out of here, so I'm hoping they'll be on best behaviour.

0:40:170:40:22

'They're booked on the early ferry tomorrow, assuming all goes well today.'

0:40:220:40:26

-Hello, Streaky. I know. This is Streaky.

-Streaky.

0:40:260:40:30

And this is Smokey.

0:40:300:40:32

You can tell them apart.

0:40:320:40:33

Smokey's got black ears,

0:40:330:40:36

-and Streaky's got...

-White.

0:40:360:40:38

-And the sort of people you get visiting, the sort of people that come along?

-It's families.

0:40:380:40:43

It's a very family-orientated farm,

0:40:430:40:45

and we also have school groups that come to learn about animals as well.

0:40:450:40:49

This, by the way, is Heather and Ian,

0:40:490:40:51

who are coming to take Smokey and Streaky.

0:40:510:40:54

Hello, Heather.

0:40:540:40:56

-Hello.

-How are you?

0:40:560:40:58

'Heather's the crofter I got the pigs from originally, and she'll be transporting them to the mainland'.

0:40:580:41:03

-And this is Carole.

-Pleased to meet you.

-Hi, lovely to meet you. Two kisses.

0:41:030:41:07

-And this is Ian.

-How do?

0:41:080:41:09

Well, let the fun begin. Off we go.

0:41:090:41:12

They might just go straight in, actually.

0:41:160:41:19

Round here, chaps, come on. In you go.

0:41:230:41:25

Come on.

0:41:260:41:28

Come on.

0:41:280:41:30

You ever heard of that thing where you get them to go into a bin, and then you back them in somewhere?

0:41:330:41:38

You ever heard of that?

0:41:380:41:40

I know this looks like lunacy.

0:41:410:41:43

Nothing to worry about.

0:41:480:41:50

CAROLE CHUCKLES

0:41:500:41:51

Can I just say how intelligent my pigs are?

0:42:040:42:06

Because this is the weak spot. They know this is a weak spot.

0:42:060:42:10

And we've left him at the weak spot.

0:42:100:42:13

Well done, Ian.

0:42:130:42:14

Yeah, OK.

0:42:140:42:15

OK, if you give me that board in. Quick, quick, quick!

0:42:160:42:19

Yeah, I've got him, I've got him.

0:42:220:42:23

There you go, there he goes. There he goes.

0:42:230:42:26

And if we close that divide and if we close the gate, yeah.

0:42:260:42:30

THEY CHEER

0:42:300:42:33

Piece of cake.

0:42:330:42:35

-THEY LAUGH

-Piece of cake.

0:42:350:42:37

Move it forward.

0:42:370:42:39

Well done. Carole, I assure you they're not normally that difficult.

0:42:390:42:42

-They're normally terribly well behaved.

-I'm having second thoughts!

0:42:420:42:46

You're city slickers now.

0:42:460:42:48

Not country boys any more.

0:42:480:42:49

See you, Streaky. See you, Smokey.

0:42:490:42:52

Take it easy. Enjoy your life as celebrities.

0:42:520:42:56

I wouldn't get too complacent, Rubes. You're next, pal.

0:42:560:42:58

-CAROLE CHUCKLES

-If I can persuade Carole.

0:42:580:43:01

-What did you have in here? Was it turkeys?

-Turkeys, yes.

0:43:030:43:07

We started off with just the one run, but they got, strangely enough, bigger when I fed them.

0:43:070:43:12

The final few posts still need to be hammered in on the Udal walk,

0:43:280:43:33

the North Uist walk, which is my favourite walk

0:43:330:43:35

and Jimmy's favourite walk.

0:43:350:43:37

So I've left those posts, so me and Jimmy can hammer them in together.

0:43:370:43:41

I just thought it'd be a really nice way to sort of finish the whole thing.

0:43:430:43:47

Assuming we can batter it in to the iron-hard tundra

0:43:480:43:52

that is the Udal peninsula at the moment.

0:43:520:43:55

Shall we take a little walk round and maybe look at a spot to put a post up?

0:44:010:44:04

Cos that's the idea of the trails, isn't it, that you can kind of see the next post?

0:44:040:44:09

This is a very tidy Land Rover.

0:44:100:44:12

Uncharacteristically tidy.

0:44:120:44:14

Right.

0:44:150:44:16

Wow, Monty!

0:44:200:44:21

That's quite something, isn't it? Why here?

0:44:210:44:25

Er...

0:44:250:44:27

Well, I know what I felt when I first walked up this rise and I looked at that beach.

0:44:270:44:33

One of the reasons for putting in the trails and all that

0:44:330:44:37

is to try and share that experience with other people who come to the islands,

0:44:370:44:41

and try and share that sense of wonder,

0:44:410:44:44

of being exposed to views like this.

0:44:440:44:47

-Wow.

-It's amazing, isn't it? Just rock hard.

0:44:480:44:52

It's pretty rough.

0:44:520:44:53

-Pretty good.

-Oh, the final symbolic clout. Go on.

0:45:010:45:05

Go on, miss it.

0:45:050:45:06

Hey!

0:45:060:45:08

There we go.

0:45:080:45:10

-That's about it.

-Well done, mate.

0:45:110:45:13

-Well done, sir.

-Well done. Thank you so much.

0:45:130:45:16

-Really. Thanks for all your help round the islands.

-I need to get my car keys.

0:45:160:45:20

I thought we would have a symbolic bottle.

0:45:200:45:22

Thank you so much for coming here.

0:45:220:45:24

-My pleasure, mate, my pleasure.

-And for doing what you're done.

0:45:240:45:27

Well, thank you for your hospitality and many cheers.

0:45:270:45:30

Slainte mhath.

0:45:300:45:31

Your fingers will be welded to that bottle now.

0:45:390:45:41

'New Year's Eve, or Hogmanay, as it's known in the Highlands and the islands -

0:46:160:46:20

always a big deal this time of year up here.

0:46:200:46:22

But it's particularly poignant and special for me

0:46:220:46:25

because, of course, this is the end of my time here. It's the culmination of six months' work,

0:46:250:46:30

and we've got the Langass Lodge full of friends

0:46:300:46:33

and people I've got to know over the last six months,

0:46:330:46:36

who've all helped me out in some way or another.

0:46:360:46:38

And I'm hoping for a real humdinger of an evening.

0:46:380:46:43

It's a sort of fond farewell to the islands, really.

0:46:430:46:46

'On the agenda tonight, we've got good food...'

0:46:500:46:54

This is proper winter food.

0:46:540:46:57

'..good company, good music...'

0:46:570:46:59

BAND PLAYS A SOFT-ROCK TUNE

0:46:590:47:02

..and also unveil the picture. Now, the picture is the oil painting

0:47:100:47:13

that Steve Burgess, the wildlife artist who was up here about a month and a half ago...

0:47:130:47:17

We took him out into the rut, the stag rut.

0:47:170:47:20

And he was blown away by it, and he did a picture

0:47:200:47:23

that we're going to sell to try and raise money for local environmental projects.

0:47:230:47:28

'Steve's paintings sell for up to £15,000,

0:47:280:47:31

'and he's promised to donate half the proceeds to the ranger fund.'

0:47:310:47:35

So that's a very, very significant painting.

0:47:350:47:38

Been a magical full stop to my time up here, really - just couldn't be better.

0:47:390:47:44

Surrounded by my friends, all dancing, having a great time.

0:47:440:47:48

-You're always welcome back.

-Great.

0:47:480:47:50

Leaving is going to be hard. It really is.

0:47:500:47:53

-ALL:

-Three, two, one...

0:47:530:47:55

-Happy new year!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:47:550:47:58

ALL: # Should auld acquaintance be forgot

0:47:580:48:01

# And never brought to mind?

0:48:010:48:05

# Should auld acquaintance be forgot

0:48:050:48:10

# For the sake of auld lang syne? #

0:48:100:48:14

Happy new year, by the way.

0:48:140:48:16

-Kiss me. Mwah!

-We're going to miss you.

0:48:160:48:19

Oh, happy new year, mate!

0:48:190:48:21

Have a good one. Have a great summer.

0:48:210:48:25

-Have a great summer.

-See you back.

0:48:250:48:27

CHEERING

0:48:300:48:32

-CROWD CHEERS

-Got to make that noise at firework displays. That noise.

0:48:350:48:39

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:48:480:48:50

REFLECTIVE GAELIC SONG PLAYS

0:48:540:48:56

'Overnight, the snow and plummeting temperatures have transformed the winter landscape.

0:49:050:49:10

'For someone about to head south, it's a timely reminder that the year-round inhabitants

0:49:150:49:19

'of the islands can expect the weather to get worse before it gets better.'

0:49:190:49:24

It's an interesting time to leave, because January/February,

0:49:380:49:43

everyone tells me up here, is the really tough time up here

0:49:430:49:46

because the big winter storms come in, and it's sort of grey and dank.

0:49:460:49:52

And the interesting thing about my time up here is

0:49:520:49:55

December and November have been the two most beautiful months of my whole time up here.

0:49:550:49:59

So I think the lingering feeling with me is a...

0:49:590:50:02

a feeling of wanting to come back.

0:50:020:50:06

This is my final meeting with the ranger committee.

0:50:120:50:16

It's almost a chance for me to see if I've passed muster -

0:50:160:50:20

you know, to see if I've done the job while I'm here and find out how they've viewed my efforts.

0:50:200:50:25

So the main item on the agenda today is the handover,

0:50:250:50:28

the financial position and tying up loose ends.

0:50:280:50:32

Yes. So shall I fill you in on what's still to come?

0:50:320:50:35

I am desperately trying to get hold of the walks booklets

0:50:350:50:38

and the interpretation boards to get them down here before I leave the islands.

0:50:380:50:43

One of the reasons is that I spoke to CalMac and they said,

0:50:430:50:45

"Absolutely fine. You can screw it onto the area that they've set aside,

0:50:450:50:50

"which is in the kids' area, when you leave," which would be lovely.

0:50:500:50:53

Nice final gesture, putting the interpretation board in. But if I haven't got them, I can't do it.

0:50:530:50:58

So I'm hoping, tomorrow, to pick them up.

0:50:580:51:01

And the final thing for me, really,

0:51:010:51:03

is to say thank you very much

0:51:030:51:06

for looking after me while I've been here.

0:51:060:51:08

I think one of the interesting things

0:51:080:51:11

is that you have actually demonstrated

0:51:110:51:14

-that there is a need for a ranger service.

-Yeah.

0:51:140:51:16

And personally, I hope that what comes out of this is that

0:51:160:51:19

we've actually created a framework

0:51:190:51:22

which will enable a ranger service to be started up again.

0:51:220:51:25

That's music to my ears, quite frankly.

0:51:250:51:27

I've been truly happy in that cottage.

0:51:350:51:37

I think it's a combination of things. I mean, who wouldn't be?

0:51:370:51:41

It's the most beautiful cottage.

0:51:410:51:42

I've also had, while I've been here, a sort of genuine sense of purpose.

0:51:420:51:46

And the vindication of that, for me,

0:51:460:51:48

was hearing Andrew say at the meeting that they thought

0:51:480:51:51

one of the things I'd done was really show the value of the ranger here.

0:51:510:51:55

So it was an ambition realised in so many ways -

0:51:550:51:59

doing the ranger position, living somewhere like this, becoming part of the community.

0:51:590:52:03

So it was at the end of my rainbow in every sense, I think.

0:52:030:52:06

Come on, fool. Come on, Rubes. Oi!

0:52:080:52:10

Back to Bristol, Rubes.

0:52:400:52:42

Off we go. Come on, Rubes.

0:52:440:52:46

Come on.

0:52:500:52:52

Rubes, leave the stone.

0:52:520:52:54

My ferry pulls away in an hour. I've been here six months,

0:52:590:53:03

and the interpretation boards and the walks booklets,

0:53:030:53:07

which are the culmination of all my efforts here,

0:53:070:53:11

are, as we speak, heading into Lochmaddy.

0:53:110:53:14

Richard has been snowed into his house for five days

0:53:140:53:17

and has just managed to get out this morning.

0:53:170:53:20

He's on the Isle of Lewis.

0:53:200:53:22

One of the crew - one of the film crew -

0:53:220:53:24

has very kindly gone across on the ferry

0:53:250:53:27

with a little handheld video thing like you take on holiday

0:53:270:53:30

to get the actual handover moment from Richard.

0:53:300:53:34

-Happy new year.

-Happy new year.

0:53:340:53:36

So this is a real race against the clock.

0:53:360:53:39

-These are the rock pool displays.

-A-ha.

0:53:390:53:41

And it has literally come down to the last 20 minutes

0:53:410:53:45

about whether I can actually get my hands on them before I leave.

0:53:450:53:50

The reason it's vital they're there is,

0:53:500:53:53

I want to actually screw one of them onto the, er, wall...

0:53:530:53:57

of the ferry, the bulkhead.

0:53:570:54:00

So...yeah.

0:54:010:54:03

It really has come down to this last few minutes about whether

0:54:030:54:07

the boards will be there when I get there, and I'll be gutted if they're not.

0:54:070:54:11

No-one here.

0:54:290:54:31

Wait there, Rubes.

0:54:350:54:36

Board the ferry in about ten minutes.

0:54:380:54:42

I think I've just seen it coming round the corner there.

0:54:420:54:45

-Ah! Hello, chaps.

-Hi.

0:54:450:54:48

Hello.

0:54:480:54:50

-Hello, mate. How are you? All right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, good.

0:54:530:54:56

-This COULD be the interpretation boards and walks booklets.

-Ah, right.

0:54:560:55:01

-Which is lovely, mate, to have you here when they...

-This is your handover.

0:55:010:55:04

Don't even get out of the car if you haven't got them.

0:55:040:55:08

-Made it!

-Have you got them?

0:55:080:55:09

-I have indeed.

-Well done.

0:55:090:55:11

-Well done, well done.

-Yes.

-Fantastic.

0:55:110:55:14

And with about five minutes to spare.

0:55:140:55:17

-These are the boards.

-Amazing. Fantastic.

0:55:190:55:23

The booklets.

0:55:230:55:25

Now, these are just a sample, I hasten to add. There's going to be a mass print run.

0:55:250:55:29

5,000 of these will be spread round the islands. And mate, I'm so pleased you're here.

0:55:290:55:34

This is all your expertise as well.

0:55:340:55:35

Hey!

0:55:350:55:37

-Wow.

-There we are.

0:55:370:55:39

That is stunning.

0:55:390:55:40

There's so many memories.

0:55:410:55:43

And your favourite, Udal. There's the last post we hammered in.

0:55:430:55:47

That's great. Really good.

0:55:470:55:49

Amazing. Here we are. Let's have a quick look at the boards.

0:55:490:55:52

-Wow!

-It's lovely, isn't it?

0:55:550:55:57

That is stunning.

0:55:570:55:59

-Fantastic.

-Excellent, well done.

-Thank you.

0:55:590:56:03

In the very nick of time. Last-minute stuff. What we're hoping, Jimmy,

0:56:030:56:07

is one day to actually have a coastal route that covers all the different environments,

0:56:070:56:11

so it covers the sand and the rocks and the macha and the shallows and...

0:56:110:56:16

-Wow! I think they're stunning. Just so beautiful to have something like this.

-Thank you, Jimmy.

0:56:160:56:22

Yeah, it is.

0:56:220:56:24

Mate. Well done.

0:56:240:56:26

-Andrew, thank you so much.

-Thank you very much.

-My pleasure.

0:56:260:56:30

-Alison.

-Bye, Monty.

-Take care. Thank you for looking after me and feeding me.

0:56:300:56:34

This is my very final act as the ranger -

0:56:470:56:50

quite fittingly, on the ferry as I leave the islands.

0:56:500:56:54

It's just to get this interpretation board put up.

0:56:540:56:57

Hopefully, this'll inspire the next generation of marine biologists

0:56:570:57:02

and rangers and conservationists.

0:57:020:57:05

I would have tried to do it up there. There you go.

0:57:050:57:08

That end.

0:57:080:57:10

Great detail here, by the way.

0:57:110:57:13

There's a rock pool species that you don't see very often.

0:57:130:57:17

Photo number five has got Rubes in it.

0:57:170:57:20

Fantastic.

0:57:270:57:29

-Thank you.

-OK.

0:57:300:57:31

Good stuff.

0:57:310:57:33

All that work.

0:57:340:57:36

That's Jimmy and Alison.

0:57:390:57:40

It's a poignant moment - there's no doubt about it.

0:57:460:57:49

I don't tend to get overly sentimental about places when I leave them,

0:57:510:57:55

because I've done so much travelling in my life

0:57:550:57:58

and I'm constantly moving on to the next thing.

0:57:580:58:01

But there are certain places that leave a mark on you,

0:58:010:58:05

and I think this place has left an indelible mark on me.

0:58:050:58:10

And my life's a little bit richer for knowing these islands.

0:58:100:58:14

I get the feeling that this isn't the end of something

0:58:140:58:17

as the islands disappear into the distance.

0:58:170:58:20

That it's actually the beginning of a lifelong association

0:58:200:58:24

for me with the Uists and Barra.

0:58:240:58:27

Come on, then, Rubes. Come on.

0:58:290:58:32

Come on, Rubes.

0:58:380:58:39

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0:58:490:58:52

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0:58:520:58:56

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