Sport Relief Part 3 Sport Relief

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a massive Sport Relief welcome to Greg

James and Alesha Dixon. Sport Relief, welcome

back to BBC1, baby! What a brilliant night

it's been and it's just I can feel it.

I'm ready. What a crowd and what a night it's

been so far. Have you been enjoying get? CHEERING

I'm so excited to be presenting this with you, because you look stunning.

I only said yes to doing this because of your laugh,

but we can't have it going on all night.

That's not funny. I love a face swap. Maybe this one... Better. Not

quite funny enough. You are not doing well here. It could get

awkward. One more. LAUGHTER That one is brilliant. That's what

our children would look like. Buy me a drink first. You are silly. This

is going to go mad, I know. Now Greg, aside from taking

on the gruelling Gregathlon like a total champ, completing five

triathlons in five days CHEERING

Thank you. Have you been

doing anything else Let's see what we've got in store

for you for the rest of the night. Still to come on tonight's Sport

Relief, the return of Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. Get

out! Sorry! Bloody kids! David Walliams and Peter Crouch star in

Little Britain. You are pretty as a picture, now few pop. Try not to be

so tall and lanky. And you will see Jack Whitehall, Gareth Bale, James

Bay and Alan Partridge. And Clash of the Titans comes to a dramatic

conclusion with a triathlon across the Olympic Park. All this and much

more coming up tonight on Sport Relief.

All that amazing stuff still to come.

Over the years on Sport Relief we've introduced

you to lots of wonderful people living incredibly tough lives -

and through your generosity we managed to change

The three young men you're about to meet can't thank

You're brilliant. Thank you.

This is Vijay. 11 years ago he lived on the railways, scraping together a

living the best way he could. Subu was another of India's Railway

children. He fell from a moving train and had horrific injuries,

leaving him partially paralysed and clinging onto life. In Bangladesh,

Ruble spent his lives on a rubbish dump, struggling to find things to

sell for his family who were struggling to survive. Thanks to

your donations we were able to give these boys the support they needed

to turn their lives around. Vijay has left the railways behind him and

runs a successful painting and decorating business.

Subbu made a full recovery and is studying to be an electrical

engineer. After the operation, they gave life to me. If you can go to

school, you can get knowledge and wisdom.

Ruble is now at school, getting the education he deserves, and he has a

part-time job. Three boys, three lives changed,

thanks to you. This stuff works. Please do it again tonight.

All over the world there are children having to work instead

Kids sleeping on the streets instead of safely in bed.

But as you've seen, bit by bit, day by day, one by one,

You can head over to bbc.co.uk/sportrelief

Or text the word Yes to 70010 to give ?10.

Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network message

charge and 100% of your donation will go to Sport Relief.

You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payer's permission.

For full terms and conditions and more information go

banks and building societies or any post office.

You can also send us a cheque if the mood takes you.

Here's my radio hero Alan Partridge with more details on that.

Thanks, guys. You can donate by check. This is made out S relief,

could be Simon relief, the amount is just an example. 66566, almost the

Devil's number. The devil would hate Sport Relief. He hates good causes,

or she, could be a woman. The devil takes many causes. That's not all

the money I have in the world, I have loads of accounts all over the

place, you've got to these days. It's made out to a benefactor, Alan

benefactor? Could be Andrew, Algernon, could be Amir. Absolutely

it could be, it is 2016 after all. Give generously, whatever your

dinner nomination. -- whatever your do nomination.

So, just to clear that up then - to donate by cheque,

payable to Sport Relief and send it to Sport Relief 2016,

EY, PO Box 51543, London SE1 2UG.

The fantastic staff at RBS have jumped headfirst into raising more

money for Sport Relief. 750 staff members are completing a daunting

cycle challenge from London to Edinburgh. They are also encouraging

their staff across the nation to take part in the Sport Relief Games.

Thousands of others are taking part in special five K and ten K runs.

They're fantastic customers are also donating money. To the good people

of RBS and the amazing British public, we want to say one thing.

Thank you. Nice to see sisters doing it for

themselves. What have the staff and customers raised?

An incredible amount of money and the generosity has been stunning so

far. Now, Alesha, it's time for the first

big sketch of our part of the show, and boy have

we got a winner for you. I'm afraid you're

going to have to put up with my laugh a bit longer Greg,

because this is funny. Sit back and watch what happens

when Jack Whitehall, takes it upon himself to try

and get his beloved England Football In the end, the German

bench get up and protest Gascoigne has had his second yellow

card of the competition, and here is a moment that almost

brings tears to his eyes. Question marks have been raised

over his temperament The referee has gone to his pocket.

It's red! It was in the goal.

It surely crossed the line. It's on by Cavani,

there is no flag here. So there you go, and Luis Suarez

put the final nail in England's World Cup coffin in Brazil

in 2014, but will they fare any In the 1984 Los Angeles Olympic

Games, I came away with a silver medal, and I came

home a national hero. Yo, barman, can we get

some drinks please? SPEAKING WITH SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT:

Coming right up, bru. Well, I got sacked from my

last job, and it ain't No, I mean something that people

actually care about. Look, mate, you want the England

footie team to be as successful as the England cricket

team - you've got to use foreigners. We use players from

literally anywhere. Geraint Jones, born

in Papua New Guinea. Shut up!

You're as English as fish and chips. As soon as I touched

down on English soil, it disappeared, just

like that, gone. Come to think of it,

Simon Jones, from Wales, That's how we're going

to win Euro 2016, we will IN SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT: KP,

you are a genius, player. Sort Kriss Akabusi out

with a massive Tia Maria. Economy, obviously,

as this is Sport Relief. G-Bale, G-Bizzle,

Baleo, the Old Bailey. To do that, I'm going to enlist

the help of the best player So, can you introduce me

to Cristiano Ronaldo? I'm joking.

I want you to play for England. I'm sorry, but I've

got to go training. What I'm trying to tell

you is you can't waste all that talent playing for Wales

like Ryan Giggs did. You're playing with part-timers,

footballers who are working down Think how many more

goals you would score if you were being set up

by Sterling and the Roon-dog. Those puppies aren't

going to look so bad, are they? If you come and play

for England, you are It's the trademark of a 12-year-old

girl at One Direction concert. You are also going to have

to sort out that hair. Look mate, all I'm talking

about is a little switcheroo Why don't you get one

of Scotland's players, JACK SCOFFS.

Don't be ridiculous. You're worried about this

being illegal in some way, a tabloid finding out you don't

have any English blood. Fear not, G-spot,

I've got it covered. Meet your long, long,

long lost English nan, Not according to these

forged documents. Yes, she's an actress,

but nobody needs to know that other than you, me,

and Nanna Doris here. How many times have I got

to tell you, I will never, When you left Spurs,

you became a hero of mine. Look, there's a very easy way

to get me to play for your team. I've never heard anything more

preposterous in my life. Three lions on a shirt,

mate, that's me! MUSIC: Holding Out For

A Hero by Bonnie Tyler. # Isn't there a white

knight upon a fiery steed? # I'm holding out for a hero til

the end of the night # And he's got to be

fresh from the fight Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndr

obwllllantysiliogogogoch. Please, Jack!

No. An inspired attempt

by Jack Whitehall there. Thanks to Gareth Bale

and all the stars who took part And I'm no Welshman,

but what I think Jack was trying to say to Rob Brydon

at the end of that was. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndro-

bwyllllantysiliogogogoch. I'm nearly there. I've been trying

to learn it all day and I would really like a little singsong. Are

you up for a quick singsong? If we all sing along together, I think we

can get this. #

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndro- bwyllllantysiliogogogoch.

# Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndro-

bwyll-llantysiliogogogoch #

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndro- bwyll-llantysiliogogogoch

# Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndro-

bwyll-llantysiliogogogoch #

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndro- bwyll-llantysiliogogogoch all right,

shut up, that's enough. Thanks, Greg. It sounds a bit like

you laughing. It sounded rubbish. It is a place! I didn't know that.

Sorry. Did you guys know that? AUDIENCE SHOUT YES

Sorry about that. Genuinely sorry. As the donations plummet.

Time to meet a Sport Relief hero who really has gone the extra

mile - comedian and all round ledgend Jo Brand.

Jo walked the entire way across the country from Hull

to Liverpool, and she's here in the studio.

But whilst we let the stand-up have a slightly longer sit-down,

I'm doing this on behalf of all the portly middle-aged women in the

country who needs to get up and live a bit longer. I'm really fit in both

senses of the word. The top of my leg is hurting. I am living with it.

Hello, deputy mayor. She asked me to come and she was blaming me. She is

in pain, she is tired and she has a long way to go. I can do another day

without crying. Do you want this? I would love it. It isn't raining yet.

What if it's all about?! I am absolutely exulted. It was so

fantastic to walk across a massive swathes of the country.

Congratulations, Jo. And to see how generous people are. What a woman.

She's walked the walk, now she's here to talk the talk.

Give it up for the truly heroic Jo Brand!

Jo, what an incredible achievement, and the show last night on BBC One

was so fun to watch. I mean, for me it was. Did you watch it again? No.

My favourite bit was at the end with all the fireworks going off and the

photographers and everything and you just went silent. That was it. That

was the most excited and I have ever been. And he recovered? No. I have

almost. I have physically recovered but mentally I'm not so sure. What

was the hardest part? The hardest part was when I finished it not

having fried breakfasts any more. Oh, they were lovely. Actually, I

was having 6000 calories per day so I decided to save all of those and

have a 42,000 calorie meal at the end of it. As you do! It was lovely.

The support from the public was incredible. As you said in the film,

you have inspired a lot of people to get out there. I hope I inspired

people who wouldn't normally do something, like old, tired,

knackered, set up old women, like me. -- fed up. And old men. Just to

get out there and do a bit. I don't like to hear myself say this, but it

is quite good fun, if there is a bakery on the way. So try it. We

think you are amazing. Jo, it's time to reveal how

much you have raised Jo Brand, your Hell of a Walk has

raised a hell of a lot of money. Let's take a look at

exactly how much... You have raised: amazing! Wow! You

know how much good that money is going to do. I am gobsmacked. And

due to everyone and all the fantastic people I met and sorry to

all of the ones I was grumpy too. Right, it's time to say another big

Sport Relief thank you. Since the beginning of Sport Relief,

Ryman and Robert Dyas have been raising money. Both of them have

been selling these fantastic pens and donating 70p from every ?1 spent

on them so, every time you buy one, you are helping somebody less

fortunate in the UK and around the world. Critical, a? Yes! Their

amazing staff have taken it on themselves to raise money for Sport

Relief, helping to raise huge amounts of cash. So, to all of the

amazing staff and customers, we have one thing left to say.

A huge thanks to everyone who bought one of these Sport Relief

pens/football clackers/tiny bookmarks/chopsticks.

Let's find out how much the Ryman and Robert Dyas staff

Now, getting a good education and then moving into work

and becoming self-sufficient is crucial for lifting children out

of poverty and helping them fulfil their potential.

And the great news is all of the money from tonight

that we earmark for that kind of work will be matched by the UK

Government up to ?10 million, which will help transform the lives

of young people across some of the world's poorest communities.

So, a really big thank you to the Department

for International Development, and to all of you watching

for helping change so many lives for the better.

OK, I thought I knew a bit about refugees.

I was fortunate enough to be sent to Jordan White Sport Relief to look at

the refugee crisis. Sport Relief asked me to go two weeks ago before

I did the triathlon. I was finding out some of the places the money was

spent in some of the places they spent it on and it turns out I

didn't know much at all about it. This is my first time in a refugee

camp. The thing that has struck me the most, immediately, is how

desolate the landscape is. This is a desert. It is really isolated. It is

really cold here. And the rows and rows of these houses they are

endless. It feels really oppressive. It looks very temporary. And yet

people are here for years. It's just desert and hills and rocks. It is

like Mars. This camp has been these peoples home for nearly a year there

-- nearly a year now after they fled Syria.

How did your life change when the crisis started?

It is so... It's such a hard... I'm still trying to process that story,

but it's so tragic. And unfair. There are so many stories here, of

loved ones killed, homes destroyed, and lives devastated. Ordinary

people going about their daily lives who have lost everything. We can't

turn back the clock. What's happened has happened, and the journey is the

families have been on up until this point, are done. We are where we are

and they are where they are. What we can do is help them from this point

onwards. And believe me, they need help. Sport Relief funds the only

nursery in this refugee camp. It's a vital project that gives children a

safe place to learn, to play, and to be kids again. Just because you

might think this is too big, but that doesn't mean that what you

donating right now will not make a difference, because it will. What

the turn it is? It's too big, let's not bother? Absolutely not. Dig

deep. Donate what you can. Anything you can give will change lives, and

you give kids their childhood back. Thank you.

So, in concrete terms what can we do to help?

Well, as you've seen, that fantastic nursery lets those

It costs ?40 for a child to go for a week.

Anything you can do to put a smile on their faces would be amazing.

Since going out there I've become very passionate about this cause,

speaking to people all the time, and I'm proud of that story is that we

told on Radio 1. There is a lot of stigma attached to the refugee

crisis, but what we need to remember is that whatever you think of the

political situation, the government, whatever, its people and humans

caught up in the crisis. You have to remember that, do not dehumanise

them. It's people like you and me, families like your family and my

family. It's people like that, people who had jobs and hopes and

dreams. They were at university, and then they woke up and it was all

gone. They are people living lives. They are not dissimilar to our lives

and our families. They like One Direction, and they have Facebook.

It's not an alien part of the world. I have been there and seen it and

it's happening right now. It's very important that we don't forget about

these people and write them off, because they feel like they have

been forgotten about. I think it's time we stepped in and gave them a

leg up. Imagine waking up tomorrow morning and you have to leave your

house. Grab whatever you can,

and never come back. To donate ?10 just text

the word YES to 70010. Texts will cost ?10 plus your

standard network message charge. If you want to know more details

about how Sport Relief makes its grants and manages your

donations, all the information is available at

bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. OK, now, last year, you may have

seen some of the biggest names in football taking part

in the Dizzy Penalties online craze in support of the

Global Goals campaign. The challenge is to score a goal

after spinning around You haven't seen this. I look like

an idiot. Great. Never ones to shy away

from a Sport Relief challenge, myself - a dedicated Arsenal fan -

and John Bishop - a lifelong Hello there, and welcome to the

Sport Relief easy -- dizzy penalty spectacular. One goal, one ball and

plenty of falling over. Spin around the football 13 times, and then try

to get it as close to the goal is you can. A healthy rivalry to play

this out. Liverpool fan John Bishop, and Mr Arsenal, Greg James. John,

you have attempted some amazing things for Sport Relief. This is the

hardest thing I've ever done, without any shadow of a doubt.

Because I've just eaten a burrito and there's a good chance of me

being sick. Greg, you smashed the Greg Haslam. Any skills you picked

up that could be handy? When it's done, I will always cry at the end

of some exercise. That's what will happen at the end of tonight. --

Gregathlon. Time to toss the coin. Heads! It's tails. First or second?

I think John should go first. Ladies and gentlemen, John Bishop can take

his position by the ball. It doesn't mean a thing if you ain't got that

spin. Start on my whistle. One, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, faster, come on, eight, nine, ten... He's losing it! 11, 12, last

one. Ready when you are! LAUGHTER Come on, John, for your team. For

your family. Yes! John, talk me through that, what was

it like? Can you get up? It was everything I dreamt it would be. I

can't wait for you to do that. Greg James, you've seen it. It was

murder. You scored! I also fell over. Arsenal out of the FA Cup and

Champions League, time to grab it back tonight. Thanks for bringing

that up. It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that spin. One, two,

three, looked at the speed, four, five, six, slowing down a bit,

seven, eight, nine, ten, three to go. 11, 12, 13. Ready!

What a hideous mess. Greg, are you all right? What went wrong? I forgot

where my feet were. Did I score? Sadly not. You did well. Your

champion of dizzy penalties, John Bishop! CHEERING

That's it. The burrito is safe. Goodbye.

That was brilliant. What an idiot. I loved it.

Please welcome back, my dizzy partner in crime,

APPLAUSE I'm not surprised you hadn't seen

it, I would be embarrassed. You did do the Arsenal kit proud. We've all

had a brilliant evening tonight, but every journey begins with one step,

and every big event starts with one idea. Tonight I want to introduce

you to a man who has done more to change the world than you can

possibly imagine. He's been with Comic Relief as an organisation for

26 years. 14 years ago he came up with the idea of doing something in

between the Comic Relief years, and Sport Relief was born. He had to

convince people it would be a good idea, and tell people to get

involved. They have done. In the time he was with Comic Relief, they

have raised ?1 billion, ?300 million has been raised from Sport Relief.

To put that in context, we talk about ?5 buying two mosquito nets.

That's 120 million mosquito nets. And that ignores the fact that 50%

of Sport Relief stays in the UK and is spent close to why you live --

close to where you live. He started Sport Relief 14 years

ago, but tonight he's retiring. Please welcome the true

Sport Relief hero - Kevin, for the benefit people at

home, and I know because I've asked you this, because you have talked

all of us into crazy things, what made you come up with the idea of

Sport Relief? I'm a big sports fan, I love football. Let's clarify, you

support Man United. It's the only trophy Liverpool will win this year.

There was the opportunity to use the power and passion of sport to try to

change peoples lives and make a difference. We did Comic Relief

every two years, so the opportunity existed the year to bring in sports

men and women and comedians and entertainers, to continue to do the

great work we do. The need is endless, but progress is there all

the time. By getting sports men and women involved, we could get twice

as much as just Comic Relief. The opportunity was there. So why not do

it? Has it reached your ideals, gone beyond your dreams? The money raised

is huge, but not only the money raised, but the involvement of

people. People doing the mile on Sunday, getting off their couches.

You have changed people's lives. People getting involved in sport who

haven't done it before. Was that part of the plan? It was part of the

plan, but it has gone beyond my dreams. You can often have ideas in

life, and the idea is the start, but turning that idea into something is

really difficult. I'm faintly embarrassed to be here tonight

talking about my role in it, because you have to bring everyone else

together. All the artists and entertainers who give your time to

it, all the viewers in the studio and at home. All the people who have

donated ?5, ?10. It's a great coming together of community in the

interests of generosity. Billy Connolly said on Comic Relief that

people talk about compassion fatigue. But he said there was no

such thing. It's like saying there's too much love in the world. The

brilliant thing is the British public demonstrate every year there

in enormous capability for compassion and love. It has

fulfilled my dreams and more. It's gone beyond what I could have

imagined. There has been a great coming together of everybody who has

taken part. We have a video that has somebody up Sport Relief.

Sport has the power to change the world.

It has the power to unite people in a way that little else does.

Sport can create hope where once there was only despair.

For the last 14 years, Sport Relief and you,

the British public, have been working together to change lives

Half of your donations fund projects here in the UK.

The other half go to the poorest countries in the world.

In Kenya, we are supporting a project that uses football

to teach leadership skills and teamwork.

And it inspires children to get an education.

For young people with disabilities in the UK, sport can unlock a whole

It makes me feel confident and I make new friends.

Your money supports street children across the world,

giving them a safe place to sleep, and, through sport, the chance

In Bangladesh, drowning in floods is a major cause of death

in children, so Sport Relief taught children to swim

Here at home, a lot of older people can face loneliness and depression.

Sport Relief supported this project, where sport makes them feel part

Across the world, your donations are inspiring people to get active

I want to be the best boxer in the world.

That's not a bad reason to support something, is it?

This is your chance to be part of something amazing.

So please, help us to do even more and be as generous

Kevin, that sums it up. Over the years, we have done our best for

you. Tonight, your last night as the chief executive of Sport Relief,

perhaps you can talk camera free and tell people your own message. I

suppose the thing I would like to say, one thing is thank you

enormously for the incredible work you have done over the years in

donating to Sport Relief and making the changes possible that we have

been able to help with but, more importantly, everyone gives up their

time for this great cause to help change lives. We have seen Michael

Crawford mention it, Greg was just talking about it, but repeating it

makes it no less true. You can make changes. We have seen how ?5 will

pay for two mosquito nets which children could sleep under tonight

and it would help save their lives. ?70 could help educate a child in

Sierra Leone to go to school for a whole year, and that year's

schooling could make the difference between living in abject poverty or

moving out of poverty and getting a job and living a fulfilled life. The

thing I would like to say to everyone watching at home is, if you

get the chance tonight, could you make one more donation? John talked

about my dream when I started Sport Relief. My dream tonight is to have

the biggest Sport Relief ever. I have had so many people say it over

the years, but the number will be on your screens. Or you can text. And,

please, give generously. I have seen the work and I know the changes it

makes. It has been one of the privileges of my life to be able to

go and meet people in the field and to know their common humanity and

potential. This is all about helping people fulfil their potential. Lenny

Henry famously said on one of these nights, forget geography, everyone

is your neighbour and, if your neighbour was in trouble, you would

help them out. Please tonight, make one more donation. Thank you.

Ok, please give it up for John Bishop and Kevin Cahill.

OK, as you know the Sport Relief weekend is a huge event up and down

the country with so many fantastic people wanting to give their time

to help raise huge amounts for those who need it most.

Not only are you, the great British public, going

above and beyond but we've had some of the biggest names in sport

queuing up to be part of the night, not just in front of the camera

but they're helping us out backstage too.

For example Mo Farah offered to be a runner on the show

Andy and Jamie Murray are serving behind the bar.

Amir Khan has been working hard in the box office.

And Team GB's curling team are keeping the place spotless.

The ladies have asked me to tell you that they are available to hire

for Private Functions, Corporate parties and Christenings.

I'm not even joking, they asked me to tell you that. That is a true

story. Thanks for the offer. Random but true!

Ellie Simmonds is on wardrobe duty over at the Aquatic Centre.

That one is mine. That would suit you.

David Ginola is helping with hair and make-up.

Chris Kamara is operating the autocue.

Kriss Akabussi, who else, is keeping team spirits high.

You are going to be record breakers! Come on! Move, move!

And Formula 1 legend David Coulthard's taking care

I've told you, I run, swim and cycle everywhere.

Ok, please give it up for our Sports Star Crew.

OK, time now to go trackside for the fifth and final Clash

It's a triple whammy, it's the Triathlon.

Welcome back to the Lee Valley VeloPark. Come on! It all comes down

to this, the final event. Let's remind you of the scores in Clash of

the Titans at the moment. Team Flintoff with eight points. Team

Redgrave with seven. They have a 1-point lead going into the final

event, which gives them a one second head start in the team triathlon.

The winner of this one will be crowned champions of Clash of the

Titans 2016. To explain how the event will work, there is the

commentator, Simon Brotherton. The winner of Clash of the Titans, we

will know it at the end of this race. It starts in the Velodrome and

reaches a crescendo in the Aquatics Centre. One above each team will

race each of the three disciplines. Let's have a quick look at the

cause. -- one member of each team. As soon as each crosses the

finishing line, to Invictus Games helpful is will run across claim

Elizabeth Ebdon park, and then the swimmers will swim a 50 metres

length of the pool. The first team to finish will be the winners. We

will take you to the cycling. As soon as that is finished, we will

hand over to Andy Jamieson for the running and swimming. Andy is

waiting for us now. He is ready to go and so are we. Back to you now,

Dan. We will see a full list of Ramos, riders and swimmers in a

moment. -- runners, riders. Let's learn a bit more about the

incredible men running the second leg of the triathlon. In 2008 I lost

my left leg in Afghanistan in a roadside bomb. I took part in the

2014 inaugural Invictus Games, where I picked up four gold medals and one

silver medal in multiple swimming events. I am Paul Vice, an ex-royal

Marines. I lost the use of my arm and in Afghanistan. Since then, I

had my leg amputated and this is next challenge. Paul and Mike have

been training hard with Olympic double gold medallist Dame Kelly

Holmes. Go, go! Well done, guys. While they get their breath back, a

special arrival from a familiar face. Halla we? -- how are we? Come

to join us? The fact that Invictus athletes are taking part in Sport

Relief is huge for us, whether it is running or cycling. They are

inspiring a new generation. I'm thrilled that the Princes trust has

a part to play. What is the trick, to pace yourself? People tend to go

too fast on the first 100 metres. Paul has had his leg amputated since

I last saw them. To see him running now is great. And Mike, to send him

round the track, that is fantastic. Prince Harry really cares about us.

It is nice to see him stirring song but he didn't bring his blades. I am

going to reveal that... I am not going to reveal. All I am going to

say is that it is pretty close and good luck on the night. But

remember, don't go off too fast. Given their competitive edge, it

will be a great race. I will give it everything I have got, even if I

have to crawl over that finishing line. I can't let anybody down

especially myself. That is when Harry Met Kelly, Paul and Mike. I

think we are ready to get this started so let's hand over to the

commentary team. I think we are ready for this, Rob?

The two teams are limbering up for the race of their lives. It is a

battle of the broadcasters as BBC newsreader Sophie Raworth takes on

radio one's Clara Amfo O. Raring to go outside the cotton box, Invictus

athletes with royal approval, Mike Goody and Paul Vice. For the final

leg, for Team Redgrave, Dan Snow and, for Team Flintoff, ready

Flintoff. One of these men will clinch victory. The difference in

points will be converted to seconds for this final decider, and it

couldn't be closer, a Team Flintoff were one point ahead, first to go on

the track with a one second head start will be Sophie Raworth. And

she is away, and the second beep is for Clara Amfo O, so BBC One news

leader Sophie Raworth in the red. On the other side of the track, in the

blue, Clara Amfo O, the mid-morning present on Radio 1. A much better,

more solid start by Sophie. This event is so short you just don't

hold back. It is about pure speed, get out and on the gear. What a

welcome sound the bell will be for Sophie Raworth and Clara as well.

They are almost halfway around the last lap. Sophie Raworth opening up

a bit of a lead. It looks like she is enjoying it as well. It may only

be two laps, but it is starting to hurt. There will be a gap, and an

advantage for Team Flintoff. Let's go straight outside. Out to the

breezy freedom of the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. And we have

our two heroes from Prince Harry's incredible Invictus Games. Here we

go, this is Mike Goody. He is off. And now the commando who refused to

die, the ex-Marine corporal, Paul Vice, in the blue. This is Mike

Goody now. Dame Kelly Holmes said, don't go off too fast. It looks like

they have gone off relatively well. This is Mike Goody. Just before we

started, I was having a chat with Dave Henderson, the Invictus team

captain, and he said this isn't just about Flintoff against Redgrave it

is about the Royal Marines against the royal air Force. Mike Goody, the

RAF, and Paul Vice, the Royal Marines. This looks very comfortable

indeed. Maybe a 20 metre gap now. Paul Goodie leading -- Mike Goody

leading for Team Flintoff with Paul Vice just behind him, but tracking

him well. Also, Henson said, one key factor here may well be that Paul

Vice only lost his leg 18 months ago whereas Goody lost his maybe four or

five years ago. I can tell you, at the Aquatics Centre, we have Ore

with Freddie and Dan Snow. They are ready to go. I have with me the guys

who could yet make all the distance -- only difference. Freddie

Flintoff, your man is in front just now, so are you in visualising

winning? Mike is doing well but he is catching him. It is going to be

tight. You might have deployed it time back, Dan. Do you have it in

you? I am hoping... Oh, Paul is coming through. He is doing me a big

favour! It is really tight. Back up to you.

Was really tracking Mike Goody there. As he gone off to quick? It

looks like Goody is really starting to go. As he timed it really well?

They are both struggling a bit, a bit of an incline here, and then

they go down and alongside the canal. Is Paul Vice starting to

tire? Mike Goody starting to pull away again. Look at these two

athletes. Here is Mike Goody. He must have about 200 metres to go at

this stage. 200 metres to go, come on, Paul Vice at the back. He has

run very well indeed. He isn't out of this at all yet, the Royal

Marines. There is the cyclists. What a great race that was. 50 metres to

go, just 50 metres and they are entering the building. Mike Goody is

leaving for Team Flintoff. As soon as they pass the finishing line,

these runners can go. Flintoff is off. Flintoff on the left-hand side

and Dan Snow on the right. Dan Snow in the blue, Flintoff in the red,

and Flintoff looks very good. These conditions should really suit him.

It is overcast and it should be suiting a fast bowler. He has a fast

bowler's struck. Look at the effort here. Fantastic effort from Freddie

Flintoff. Coming back is Dan Snow, coming back very fast. Can he make

it on the far side? Get his head down. Five metres to go and it looks

like it may well be Freddie Flintoff who is going to win the 2016 games.

What a fantastic race it was, and so close in the end. Utterly brilliant,

brilliant it was. Freddie Flintoff was slowing down at the end. Dan was

catching him. Down in the blue. What a brilliant swim that was. Well, the

final five metres, and it really was very tight indeed, but Freddie

Flintoff anchoring his team to triathlon gold and with it winning

Clash of the Titans glory. Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for our

Clash of the Titans champions, Team Flintoff! Don't go anywhere,

Freddie, I want to grab a quick word with you. Could you feel him

breathing down your neck? I didn't know where he was and then he was

right next to me. He is like a fish. On the final leg, Dan Snow, you may

it as tight as tiger. Two races against Freddie, two defeats the me.

He is too good. Didn't he do well, ladies and gentlemen? Not quite good

enough, though. Ladies and gentlemen, your champions, Team

Flintoff! Let's chat to Paul, you had a

catch-up to make, but you made good work of it. Yeah, I thought I might

get closer, to be honest. There was a head start but I thought it was

doable. I got him on the bridge and thought the tank was running pretty

empty. I just got on his heels and try to give myself the best shot.

Mike, he was bearing down on you. But you got a tank in you as well.

How was that run? You must be pooped. I'm hanging out. I didn't

know where he came from. Out of nowhere, I didn't hear him coming, I

thought I had to dig out something. Well done to these two. Well done to

the two team captains. It is Team Flintoff who take the Clash of the

Titans title. We will be back very shortly for a very special victory

ceremony. Don't miss it. Wow. They think it's all over,

and, well, it nearly is, but not before an official trophy

presentation hosted by Jo Brand and Martine Wright

in true Olympic style. There's also a chance to see that

brilliant Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em special starring

Sir Bradley Wiggins, Sir Paul McCartney, Andy Murray

and Boris Johnson to name but a few. Now, recently Danny Dyer

went to Sierra Leone. And I have never seen

anything like it in my life. At this very moment I'm embarrassed

to be a human being. How it gets to this stage

where children are running There's a kid over there,

he's got flip-flops on. There's glass, there's fires

and he's just got flip-flops on. And he works on this rubbish

dump every single day. In fact, he's never known

a life outside of it. Because Usman and his family

actually live on the dump. The money, I buy food

for them so we can survive. The money, the father buys food

for them to survive. TRANSLATION: I want to

leave this dump site. Hassan, do you think it

will ever happen for you? TRANSLATION: He's not really

thinking if that will ever happen The powers that be, whoever

they are, forget about all that, we can actually come together

as human beings and help Just from sitting where you are now,

the difference you can make I know they seem

a million miles away. You can make such a difference

from such a little thing. So please, get these people out

of this, this just ain't right. We've got to come together

and make this happen. If you've never done it before,

make this the first time you've It seems just too massive a problem

to do anything doesn't it, We're working with a project

who take little kids like Usman It's the only way

off that awful dump. ?70 pays for a whole

year of education. I'm not asking you to

pay the whole ?70. 03457 910 910 or donate online

at bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. And if you haven't done it yet

tonight, do it now. If you have seen that, and haven't done it yet, pick

up your phone, your mobile, scrolling through Twitter, whatever,

just close it and put the word yes in the message box and send it.

Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network message charge

and 100% of your donation will go to Sport Relief.

You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payer's permission.

For full terms and conditions and more information

Here to perform his wonderful song Let It Go

# From walking home and talking loads

# To seeing shows in evening clothes with you

# From nervous touch and getting drunk

# To staying up and waking up with you

# Why don't you be you and I'll be me?

# Why don't you be you and I'll be me?

# From throwing clothes across the floor

# To teeth and claws and slamming doors at you

# Why are we doing it doing it, doing it any more?

# Why don't you be you and I'll be me?

# Why don't you be you and I'll be me?

# Trying to fit your hand inside of mine

# Could make it feel right, no

# Trying to push this problem up the hill

# Think now's the time to let it slide

# Why don't you be you and I'll be me?

# Why don't you be you and I'll be me?

Right, it's time now to crown the rightful winners of Clash

Let's head over to the Aquatics Centre to congratulate the winners.

Thank you very much, welcome back to Clash of the Titans 2016. What a

night we have had. The velodrome, I don't think I will ever recover from

the intensity of the wrestling. You know what I'm talking about. Temp

Tameka, I know she was on the losing side, but the double splits. It's

been sensational, seemed Russell Kane and Will Young go head-to-head

underwater was the stuff of dreams. Or nightmares, depending on how you

look at it. It was quite incredible. We have seen quite a few things we

will never forget. Some good reasons and bad reasons. One team sadly fell

just short of the title. Go wild one final time, runners-up, Team

Redgrave. Guys, didn't quite work out. Steve,

nevertheless it must have been a proud moment to lead this motley

crew. I have said before, they have trained for the last two years, and

that isn't quite true. But maybe the last couple of days. I'm very proud

of the team and they have done wonderfully well. What a finish as

well, so close. You have to give it to Freddie's team, they did

wonderfully well, just a fraction better. Dan Snow nearly did it.

Paddy, can we talk about the wrestling? Let's. You got in trouble

for the slapping. I got points docked for the slapping. He did an

illegal move but didn't get his points opt, not that I'm

complaining! I lifted him up, and it was like lifting up a piece of

steel. He's ripped. Superb for him. Kane,s The real heroes tonight, Paul

and Mike? The fantastic run he had, just amazing. I thought, this is

going to be a fantastic finish. But Paul fantastic. It's lovely to hear

from you. I'm afraid you are losers, the lot of you. Let's hear it for

Team Redgrave everybody! CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE Now, ladies and gentleman, time to welcome back our heroes for

tonight, our Sport Relief 2016 Clash Of The Titans champions, Team

Flintoff. CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE Well, it was exemplary stuff from

your team, but from yourself as well, kicking off with a win,

finishing it off with a win. A great night. The team have performed so

well. In that swim at the end, Mike gave me the one second I needed

otherwise Dan might have called me. A fun night. He's still got it in

him! CHEERING

Harry, oh, my goodness me. That was pretty intense. You're a wrestling

superstar. There are ladies and gentleman, who would love to see

your victory ceremony revealed again. Do we have that? We've got

time, if you wouldn't mind. Your Friday night starts here,

follow that Dazza. I doubt it, mate. My love story was with Fred, I

enjoyed it rhythmic gymnastics. Really enjoyed it. Great fun. Raised

a lot of money. Fantastic evening. Incredible team effort. Ladies and

gentleman, team Flintoff. CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE To present the Clash Of The Titans trophy it's a delight to

welcome two women out here to give the trophy away. She was the gun

starter tonight, first up Jo Brand and one of the heroes of the

Paralympics for 2012 Martin Wright. -- Martine.

APPLAUSE You've been there, seen it, done it and won it. I wanted to ask

you, Steve said lovely words about Paul and Mike, what did you think of

their particular effort this evening? I think all of them have

done absolutely fantastically well. It's such an honourable charity. The

amount of people they're going to be helping is amazing. So well done

guys! Congratulations. Thank you. Jo, we've seen plenty, rhythmic

gymnastics, synchronised swimming, wrestling, which are we signing up

for in 2018? The wrestling definitely. Freddie Flintoff is

laughing, but he will be the first to go.

Our organisers have got their hands - He's out. It's time for you to

present our trophies and flowers to the winners. I'd love to. Pick up

the cup, Jo. Ready to go wild everybody? The winners of Clash Of

The Titans 2016, it's Team Flintoff! CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE Go on Team Flintoff, you deserve a

true victory lap. Off you go, go on! Soak it up, every single minute of

it. # We are the champions, my friend

# And we'll keep on fighting till the end... #

As they enjoy their little lap of honour, thank you so much for

watching Sport Relief Clash Of The Titans 2016. I hope you agrow with

us, so many highlights, so many things we will remember for quite

some time. That is for sure. So much to come on Sport Relief tonight and

still loads of time for you to get donating. Make sure you do. So much

more to come. From Dan and myself... Good night.

What a night. Congratulations to Team Flintoff. I'm jealous of that

good time. Now, I do want to remind

you that 50% of the money you donate tonight is spent

right here in the UK I'd like you to meet a fantastic

little boy called Jason. He's been through a lot

in his short life, but luckily he had some help -

funded by you. This is a project called

Sebastian's Action Trust. It is funded by Sport Relief

for children who have life You can just make loads of noises

and I kind of like it. I think you might know

what this room is. This room is, unfortunately,

the girls room. Now 12, Jason had

a tough start in life. As a toddler, he was

in hospital regularly. And at the age of four

he was diagnosed with a very rare Jason fought the battle of his life,

and with the support of Sebastian's Action Trust,

he survived cancer. But unbelievably, the family

were rocked again. In 2011, Jason went

to bed and woke up the next morning, tried to get out

of bed and get down the stairs. He just could not

move his feet and his But even after a biopsy

and multiple tests, doctors You just think, how much more can be

thrown at my little boy? When a child has a life-limiting

condition, families can be affected

in a number of ways. As well as emotional stress,

they can also face financial That is why, through your donations,

this project is there to support children like Jason

every step of the way. They focus on the whole family.

They've awes been there to help. When Katie is there,

from the trust, you know that Jason You know he is happy,

which is a big deal. My job today is to

support Mum in any way that she needs and simply to put

a smile on Jason's face. Without a diagnosis,

the future is uncertain. Please help us to support

Jason and other children I expect it's past your bedtime,

Jason, but we're sending you our love and we think

you're brilliant. Now, you can see how much he loves

going to Sebastian's Action Trust and what a huge difference

it's made to his life. And no matter how you're donating,

when you call tonight and our operator asks if we can

claim Gift Aid on your donation, if you are a UK taxpayer,

we'd love it if you could say yes! It means the taxman gives us

an extra 25p for every pound It doesn't cost you a penny extra,

so please make sure you say "Yes". And you can, of course,

go online, or to donate ?10, Texts will cost ?10 plus your

standard network message charge. OK Alesha, in the true spirit

of tonight, I think it's time I'm left out of the sport tonight.

You're sporty. I am. How about a little head-to-head challenge, Sport

Relief style in here. I'm up for it. Are you up for it?

CHEERING It's all very well at the Aquatic

Centre they have the sport. We need sport in here. I will let you choose

the first discipline. Darts. Great. Why darts? Why not? Are you any good

at darts? Never played before in my life. I'm really good at darts. I

accept the challenge. Brilliant. I'm very competitive, so you better

watch out. Seriously. The reason I said darts is because of Gabby Logan

and those who played for Sport Relief.

180! Let's play darts for Sport Relief.

To left the final at 7-7. For the title.

Please welcome the 2016 Let's Play Darts for Sport Relief

Lovely to see you both. How exciting. Hello everyone! I'm

excited you're here because I love a pun so much. Do you, I'm not so keen

myself. I like a pun, yes. You are darts royalty, but to be here

tonight - you had to beat royalty, Tindall. Well he's married to

royalty, isn't he? I met the Queen and she said, "God save our gracious

queen. I said, you've changed your tune. My goodness. Will you

officiate as we take on our first challenge. Of course, it would be my

pleasure. You are not wearing the right costumes. If you'd like to go

off and get dressed. I will stay here and do one minute of

sport-related puns. Yes to the puns! Start the clock. So I was playing

football on a plane, it was amazing, I was running up the wing... So I

went to a - it's going to be a long minute. Saw a football match in

Japan, they did marshal arts, he said there's two minutes of ninjery

time. Tennis, I was playing tennis with a napkin. Don't serve yet. All

male tennis players are watches. For example, Goran, even he's a witch. I

have a cat called Minton, when he eats shuttle cox I say, badminton. I

went to the swimming baths, I said is that the local swimming baths,

where you are calling from. How That's it, the time's up. Please

welcome back Greg the mole James and Alesha the lioness Dixon.

This is it. It's over here. I have to unveil the tarts pendulum. Let's

hear it, ladies and gentleman. All you have to do is burst as many

Sport Relief balloons as possible in 30 seconds. Ladies first. We're

going to make it tricky for you. Can the man in the brown coat come on,

please. Where is he? He's going to make it harder. There we are.

Away you go. One, two... Three! Four! You are good at darts! Six!

Come on, you can get seven! Seven! That's it. Well... Very, very good.

Never played it before in my life. I am hearing on the APs I am not

wearing, actually, it was nine points. Excellent! -- on the ear

piece. Can we have a look at one of those moments in slow motion?

Fascinating! There we are, that was just balloons moving slowly. Wasn't

that dramatic, viewers?! Now if you want to have a go, Greg? Can I ask

you why they call you the mole? Yes, because moles are blind. So I will

attempt this blindfolded. Literally, usually take a step back. Are you

ready? Yes! When the music starts, you see what you can do! Round a

bit... When the music starts, you are off. Nine to beat. Excuse me,

his foot is in front of the line. Thank you, Greg. Careful, this way a

bit, please. Actually far more dangerous than we were all

expecting. Your foot is going over the line! Time is up! Can I just

check? Are you all right, mate? He is OK down there. Can we have

another look at the slow-mo of some of those fatalities? There we are,

once again. That really isn't something else, isn't it? So, I've

think the winner is Alesha! The wonderful Tim Vine, everybody!

That was fun, wasn't it? I will let you off with the blindfold. I am so

sorry, did I nearly hit someone down there? Would you like a balloon?

Greg, in the spirit of all things competitive,

you have three guesses as to where I was last week.

OK. Erm, the North Pole?

Nope. Ooh, I've got it...

Er, yeah. How did you guess?

I was in fact in none other than Buckingham Palace,

home to the Queen, finding out all about the great work

of Sport Relief and the Queen's Young Leaders' initiative.

The young leaders programme was set up two years ago. The programme

helps improve and transform the lives of amazing young people across

the Commonwealth. This is Nicole. After growing up in care, she

involved on a business course with a local project and now works for the

same organisation, helping young people like herself. And this young

lady signed up a journalism course and realised that she is passionate

about writing and is now working for an online news site. Blair,

despite... She is now a fully qualified youth worker. It is not

just young people at home that this programme is helping. There is a

fantastic project in Zambia as well. Young people are producing their own

radio shoes which means they can get their voices heard and play a bigger

part in their community. Over in the South Pacific, there is a brilliant

in the ask Solomon Islands which is making sure young people have

brilliant chance to find work. So, all across the Commonwealth, there

is life-changing work taking place next to the dedication of these

truly brilliant people. Queen'syoung Leaders, we salute you. You have got

a Buckingham Palace voice. I think I became more posh because I was at

the Palace. It is so not me! Anyway, it is your money doing incredible

work, changing the lives of so many young people.

And the fantastic news that the Queen Elizabeth Diamond

Jubilee Trust will support us with ?1 million this Sport Relief

to help more young people, like these, across the Commonwealth.

Or if you do, go pour yourself a drink and come straight back.

Still to come tonight, Little Britain

The epic return of Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, and Alesha and I go head

Time for a quick thank you to all BBC Local and National

radio stations for their support, and especially to 5 Live

for their Battle of the Five-A-Sides, Radio 1

for the Gregathlon, and Radio 2 and 4 for their great coverage.

Greg, you really did excel yourself by doing something truly fantastic

for Sport Relief this year - five triathlons in five days

I don't know. Seriously! Five triathlons in five cities in five

days. It is so not normal. I am panicking. Here I go, cycling, and

the rain has started. Time to do the run now. This is dei too. We are

currently driving to the location in Cardiff. The undercarriage is

going... Day three, Glasgow. That was just... Sheffield, famous for

being built on seven hills. Looking forward to those. Here I am, doing

the swim and the run today. One more swim. Let's just hope it goes

slightly better than Glasgow. I don't know how the legs are still

going at they are. Ten miles and we are done. Five triathlons in five

days in five cities. I watch it back and genuinely it

does not feel like me. I am so impressed. I am sure everybody is

wanting to know, did you read in your wet suit? And the rest! I don't

know what I even mean by that! Yes, you do, as all triathletes will say.

But it was open water swimming. To keep yourself warm, you have to

urinate. It is just a fact. I am doing it now! On a serious note,

what was the hardest day for you? The Wednesday, you saw it, getting

out of the water in Glasgow and I just could not really get up. We

were in a different city each day and travelling between them. The

routing was not great so we did Belfast to Cardiff to Glasgow to

Sheffield and then Sheffield to Norwich. Not a lot of sleep going

on. By the Wednesday I was just a mess. And you had some great company

along the way. We did. Amazing support. And the support from the

cities was incredible. From the Radio 1 listeners as well. Thank you

to all of you, personally from me, for going with the story and going

with it and donating as well. It was a mad week and it really ran away

with us. Now, I need you to explain a picture. What is going on here,

seriously? OK, I feel like... That screen is so big in here! OK, that

is a professor. Oh, yes, it is Greg. Did you not recognise him? I was not

looking at his face! Oh, my goodness! I do feel that bit should

be blurred. Craig Whyte is a man who has done all of these Sport Relief

and Comic Relief challenges, and he really helps me with all of that

kind of stuff and he is great for morale, as you can see!

All right Greg, It's time to reveal how much you raised.

It is a staggering amount of money, it is ?1 million that was not there

before. If you have donated, then thank you, you have done so much

good. Thanks to the whole Radio 1 team and everyone who supported it.

It was just the most ridiculous week. But I would do it again. That

sort of hardship is nothing compared to the hardship going on right now

around the world, and that money will help those people. It is going

to make such a Prince. Please keep supporting us

all tonight by calling 03457 910 910 or go online or send

us a quick text. Texts will cost ?10 plus your

standard network message charge and 100% of your donation

will go to Sport Relief. You must be 16 or over and please

ask the bill payer's permission. For full terms and conditions

and more information How about, if you give ?10 now, by

text, I will never show that picture again! We will get it deleted!

OK, here's a dreadful truth - there are more than 150 million

children living on the streets in the world.

Just stop and think about that for a moment.

11-year-old Nelson ran away from home two months ago. My father died

because he was sick. I came to look for my own food. And when you got

here, were you scared, were you frightened? I was frightened because

it is not safe. I could not sleep at the good place. What would you want

your life to be like? I needed to go to school and learn more. I would

like to be a doctor. But instead of getting an education, Nelson spends

his days searching through rubbish for plastic bottles to sell.

Despite having nothing of his own, Nelson is also taking care of

younger boy who has just arrived on the streets, a ten-year-old. They do

not want to live like this. They have got dreams. Nelson wants to be

a doctor. Colin has told me he wants to be a pilot. Both of them have

left their families because that was the only option they could see just

they are good kids, really hard-working, honest kids. Just like

your children. At around 8pm that evening, the boys decide it is

bedtime. So where do you sleep? We sleep at this place. Here? Yes. What

are you sleeping on? These sacks that we are using. Just this? Yes.

As Nelson and Collins are settling down, some bigger boys turn up.

The younger boys are pushed around the corner, forced to sleep by the

busy road. Night night. I actually can't bear it. That is a

ten-year-old and 11-year-old boy, erm, tucked up in a sack. On a

concrete pavement. And I want to tell them it is going to be all

right. There are thousands of children across Kenya like Collins

and Nelson sleeping wrath on the streets every night. Sometimes you

see these problems and you think, that is too big, we cannot solve it.

But the amazing thing is that if a lot of us, and I mean a lot of us,

do something small, we can make a huge difference. Sport Relief makes

a difference. So pick up the phone, give what you can. And make sure

their future is brighter than this. Thank you.

This is happening now, to those children, on those streets.

We're all a team. All of you watching now, if you've been

watching since 7pm. You're part of that team. If we all think about one

thing together, the power of that is incredible.

It costs just ?5 to pay for a whole month's accommodation for a child.

It will help children like that find a safe place to say.

It's a great team to be part of. Call 03457 910 910 or go on line

bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. We're going to make it even easier

for you to give some cash tonight. All you need for this

bit is a mobile phone. I've got one.

That last film, my heart is breaking from watching that film. Tough to

watch. It's so simple, the team power, it works. Please, do it. A

simple text message will change the world. It will change lives. As

Clare said, if we all did it, everyone watching right now, if you

picked up your phone, mine is a flip phone, pick up your phone right now,

you can do it. What is that? Doesn't matter, doesn't matter what phone

you've got. Who loaned you that for this? This is not a loan. I wish it

were a horrible joke. Oh, dear. This is it. We are all in this together

this evening. If we can harness that power we can save lives. Let's do

it. Have you got your phones on? Did they take them away from you?

Correct. They asked you to turn your phones off. I was checking! Good. I

was being sneaky. Get them on. Seriously, get them on. Lock the

doors, no-one's leaving until they've texted. Let's all do it now.

Phones out at home. If you've been watching and enjoyed any of it or

touched by any of the appeal films that you've seen, Danny, or Marvin

and Rochelle or Michael Crawford when he gave that incredible speech,

if you've enjoyed any of tonight, please, do it now. Get your phones

out and let's give it a go. Texts will cost ?10 plus your

standard network message charge Now, it's time to say another thank

you, with boxing hero James De Gale When fighting the common cause, you

need people to come together. You need the support of your team around

you. You need dedication, hard work and of course, courage. And no-one

knows that more than the better staff and customers who have been

running events all over the country, raising stacks of cash for preef.

All customers have been swimming, running and climbing and it's made a

monumental difference. The amazing staff have raised money by

completing a 500-mile cycle, a ten-person swim-a-thon and a

marathon walk through Bath. There's one thing left to say... Thank you!

Let's find out what the staff and customers have raised.

This night just can't get any better, can it,

We have something huge on the horizon. Earlier you chose darts.

You won. I can't argue with, that but I was blind folded. I'm choosing

to challenge you Alesha Dixon by the classic medium of... Lip sync

battle! Please welcome our Sport Relief

Lip Sync Battle Host, APPLAUSE Congratulations on team

Flintoff. Thank you, that was something else doing synchronised

swimming, that was the first time a chiefed the lift. When I went down

to the floor, I grazed the surface with my buttocks. That clinched the

perfect ten. Thanks for having me, guys,

great to be here and I'm honoured They're both potentially winners

here. How are you feeling? I didn't think it through, because this is a

pop star. Yeah. Yeah, but you're a nerdy music swat. I know all of

them. I've got all the albums. That's on

your side. That is true. What about you, can you take this? I don't

know. I'm worried about what he has up his sleeve. I think it will be

hillarious. Just an unnecessarily lanky arm. While they go off to get

battle ready, here's the brilliant Little Britain,

starring the beautiful Peter Crouch, TOM BAKER: Football is one of

Britain's most popular pastimes. In his office, sports agent

Mickey Perm is trying to strike a deal for

one of his footballs. I don't play football myself,

because sadly, I don't have a foot. Ah, Crouchy, my

favourite new client. I'd get you back in

the England team, didn't I? Well, your numero uno agent has

only gone and done it. I can't wait to be

back with the boys. I've got you a place

with the Lionesses. I've got someone who can

help you with that. My name is Emily Howard,

and I am a lady. She is going to teach you how

to behave like a lady. I must say, I was rather

surprised when I heard In my mind, ladies should play

ladies' games, like cribbage Crouchy, do you want to play

for England again or not? TOM JONES: # Well, she's all

you'd ever want # She's the kind I'd like to flaunt

And take to dinner # Well, she always knows her place

She's got style, she's got grace # Whoa-oh-oh

She's a lady # But she's never in the way

Always something nice to say # I can leave her on her own

Knowing she's OK alone # Whoa-oh-oh

She's a lady # She knows what I'm about

She can take what I dish out # But she knows me through

and through # And she knows just what to do

and how to please me... # Are you sure that they'll believe

that I'm a lady? What do you think

you're playing at? I think you might have rather

given the game away. You can give me

the outfit back later. Thank you to David Walliams

and the Lionesses Will you now please welcome back

to the stage, CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE You're going to be up first ah, leasha. Bad news, babe. --

Alesha. Hills can be funky, it's all

erosion. You're up first I'm afraid. OK. How are you feeling? No saliva

in my mouth. I was saying to Greg, back stage, it's like trying to get

into fifth gear really quickly. I'm worried about what this one's going

to do. Me too, I'm having a panic attack at what's under that jacket.

Me too. Will you hold my mic for me. Of course. Don't need it, it's lip

sync right? Show some love for the one, the only, Alesha Dixon.

# Try and play the role and the whole crew will act up

# If you've got the feeling jump across the ceiling

# Mugs is a funkfest Someone's talking junk

# And then I'll take the punks home

# Than there's cops at a Dunkin' Donuts shop

# Sure enough I got props from the Kids on the Hill

# I came to get down I came to get down

# So get out your seats and jump around

If you die of dehydration, Greg might win by default. Are you ready?

Ladies and gentlemen, he's a weapon of mass musical

destruction, it's the drivetime demolition devil,

# I was wondering if after all these years

# You'd like to meet to go over everything

# They say that time's supposed to heal ya

Please give it up for Greg James, everyone!

That was amazing. That has made my night, you are in -- you doing that!

Not being funny, they would have worn something a bit better than

that. Honestly, how did you get my nan's outfit out of the wardrobe?!

Greg, did you just do that live on BBC One? Knock some points off for

that. Definitely. We have to decide who the winner is. Cheer for whoever

you think has one or the purveyor of horrible

geriatric humour, Greg James! Alesha? Greg? Ladies and gentlemen,

Greg James takes it! I am so sorry! Thank you having me on. Thank you

the coming on! Ladies and gentlemen, Russell Kane! That has brightened up

my evening. We hope you guys enjoyed that as much as we did. We have got

loads more entertainment coming up. coming up for you tonight,

but right now, we want to show you how we transformed the beautiful

Peter Crouch into Petra Crouch - it's behind the scenes

of Little Britain. Not sure what I am doing here, to be

honest. Full of anticipation. Today we are filming a sketch for Sport

Relief, involving me, and Todorov, with Peter Crouch. The idea is that

Peter Crouch wants to get back in the England squad. Your agent has

only gone and done it. Thank you so much, I cannot wait to be back with

the boys. Not the boys, I have got your place with the Lionesses! I

have got someone who can help you with that! Oh, no! So,

what we are filming now is me in training to become a lady. David

showing me what to do. The walk, and trying on wigs and dresses - believe

it or not! We have just done a rough croquet

sequence involving some close orderly work. And then the rest of

the day is mainly close orderly work, I would say. Peter has been a

revelation. When you write a part for somebody, you do not know if

they are going to be able to act or not. Sometimes it just goes a bit

wrong. He has been really game and really fun.

Hello, nice to meet you! Hello, ladies! Who are you? I am Patra, and

I am a lady. Most ladylike! Who is the new girl? She is gorgeous. It

has been a great pleasure. Looking at the costumes, I got really

lightly. Referee! In those plimsolls, I think he has had a

better touch on a Saturday afternoon when I have seen him! Petra is

better than Peter, to be quite honest! Fair play to him, I mean,

quite awkward having your first conversation with Peter Crouch when

he is dressed as he is today. But he has been great with the girls and

the team. It has been a really fun day. I have had a fantastic day. I

can safely say that you will not be seeing Petra again any time soon.

But yes, very enjoyable and hopefully raised some money for

Sport Relief. You can download that

brilliant behind-the-scenes package as well as the full sketch,

plus Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em and loads of other Sport Relief

funnies by going to BBC Store And by buying them, you will be

giving money to Sport Relief. And this time, it's one

of our finest ever sprinters, Iwan Thomas, who has

stepped up to the plate. This year, FitBit are really

stepping up to the plate to raise money for Sport Relief. They are

encouraging you, the great British public, to register each time you

take a step towards the big Stepathon. And you guys did enough

steps to reach the moon and back, five times! I had better get a shift

on! The amazing staff have been taking part in a selection of

back-to-back training sessions. General manager Gareth Jones has

been leading from the front by doing the relay challenge to help raise

even more for Sport Relief. To all the generous staff, and you, the

amazing customers, from us at Sport Relief, an amazing thank you. Hang

on! Time to reveal how much the FitBit

staff and customers have raised. How do you look amazing again?

Because you were not here for that link about five minutes ago.

Anyway... In this next film,

Marvin and Rochelle Humes went to Kenya,

where they found out there's still so much more to be done

in the fight against malaria. We knew malaria was still very much

a problem here, but nothing could prepare us for the number of

children who were struggling with this terrible disease.

Yes. The symptoms of malaria?

Sometimes they arrived, they don't...

And they got readmitted. And she started vomiting.

You do not want to cry in front of them, because it is their children,

you know? I have never seen children look that

sick before in my life. Malaria is not something you give a second

thought at home. You know it exists, but it is very far away from you.

The scale that it is on here, it is insane. Nine out of ten of those

children had malaria, the symptoms, convulsing, fever, vomiting,

diarrhoea. So sick. Just so lifeless, to see a child that looks

so exhausted... In Africa, a child dies of malaria every two minutes.

It is easy to feel powerless, but we are not.

But a mosquito net only lasts five years, and a mosquito net

with a hole in it, is NOT a mosquito net anymore.

You've already done so much, but as you can see, we need

Just one ?10 text. That's four nets.

To donate ?10, just text the word YES to 70010.

Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network message charge.

And 100% of your donation will go to Sport Relief.

And Gregles, we have the small matter of our head-to-head

challenge to deal with, isn't that right?

Got any ideas what is coming? I am exhausted so I can only imagine. But

I am apprehensive. But I think it will be a good one, right? Yes, it

will be Willie good. But look, while we've been gassing

away, people all over the country have been donating, and it's only

fair that we find out how much their incredible

generosity has raised. I'm so excited - this

is our first totaliser! You are joking, aren't you? And we

are not even done! That is unbelievable. I am actually

gobsmacked. That is amazing. A huge thank you to every single one of

you. What a night this has turned out to be. It is incredible.

Unbelievable. Thank you so much if you did pick up the phone, if you

did text and go online. You are the best and you are making such a

difference. The team is working, so let's keep it going.

And coming up soon, we have some comedy gold

which is going to blow your socks off -

But in the meantime, here's a little something

It is all right, Betty! Watch out! I have had a bit of trouble, Betty!

Sorry! Bloody kids! Hello, Mr Wiggins!

Now, 50% of your donations go to fund projects here in the UK.

And the good news is that the Government is adding

?3 million to tonight's pot to specifically help projects

which support vulnerable women and girls.

This next film is from one of our nation's great institutions,

All you fans out there will remember the deeply moving storyline

about Stacey and her struggle with extreme postnatal depression.

Here's Lacey Turner - the actress who plays Stacey -

to explain that for many women, this condition is all too real.

Giving birth to a child should be a truly wonderful time in a woman's

life and one of life's most joyful experiences.

But, sadly, as I have learnt in my role as Stacey,

The truth is that every year, here in the UK, around 70,000 women

won't find that becoming a mother is the fairy-tale they dreamed of.

I can't keep Arthur safe every minute on my own.

70,000 women won't find the sleepless nights and constant

care a baby needs plain old exhausting.

They'll find it much worse than that.

They will become ill with postnatal depression.

In more extreme cases like Stacey's, more than 1,400 women will suffer

from the more severe version of the illness,

This is truly frightening, for them and for their families.

Arthur is not yours. He is God's.

Stacey, why would they want to take Arthur?

He's outside. He's waiting.

Sadly, like with so many mental illnesses, women are scared

They think they should feel a certain way.

They're new mothers, after all - why does it seem that everyone else

It's thought that the real number of sufferers is higher,

but that women are too scared to come forward and talk about it.

They're scared of what people will say and they're scared

I believe it's absolutely real for you.

And I think it must be tiring and extremely stressful.

If you think you're suffering from postnatal depression,

the best thing you can do is tell someone you're feeling overwhelmed.

Talk to a doctor or health visitor or a friend.

After Arthur was born, I heard HIS voice.

He only talked to you after Arthur was born?

Sport Relief is supporting the maternal mental health alliance

to raise awareness of the importance of this issue, as well as projects

which aim to support mums, dads and their families to recover

from maternal mental health and move forwards.

I think we're going to need a clean outfit.

We want you to know you're not alone, you have nothing

You can be treated and things can get better.

Help us to continue to support women and families, who are suffering

unnecessarily at what should be one of the happiest times

To donate please call or go to the website.

The stigma around illnesses like postnatal depression hasn't

gone away yet, but things are slowly getting better.

?30 could enable an isolated mum, who is experiencing postnatal

depression, to attend a session to help start the road to recovery.

Please help us to support those mums at the time they really need it

by donating online at bbc.co.uk/SportRelief or you can

Tonight, we've seen people take on tough challenges for Sport Relief.

But the real stars of tonight have been you and all the many brilliant

things you've done to raise millions of pounds for Sport Relief.

# One way or another, I'm gonna find you

# I'm gonna, get you, get you # One way or another, I'm going to

win you # I'll beat you

# And if the lights are all out # I'll follow your bus downtown

# Thank you so much to

all of you out there - And if you haven't done anything

yet, here's a reminder of how you can give ?10 by text

from England manager, If you want to give ?10 text YES TO

70010. I THINK. Yeah. For more information go to bbc.co.uk/Sport

Relief or ask Chris his permission. A big thank you to Roy Hodgson

and the brilliant Alistair McGowan. It's time for our third

and final challenge. And here we are at the Queen

Elizabeth Olympic Park, famously the scene for records

being broken and the history books re-written - I'm talking,

Usain Bolt, Laura Trott, Sir Chris Hoy, and so,

tonight Greggy, we are going to set It's a bit pants really, well,

more like swimming trunks. We'll be setting the record

for the most pairs of swimming And to help us, please

welcome our official adjudicator from Guinness World

Records - Mark McInlay. The rules are simple, you have to

seconds to pull on as many pairs of swimming trunks over your trousers

properly as possible. Take my shoes off? You can. Get comfy. They need

to cover the buttocks and I need you to remove your jacket. Lovely. As

you ask so politely I will. We're getting very serious now. Are

you ready? 30 seconds? You've got 30 seconds.

Good luck, Greg. You can do it. This is easy compared

to what you've been doing. This is an official Guinness World Records

attempt. CHEERING For the title, three...

Two... One... Go! MUSIC: Condition final Countdown.

-- Final Countdown. Three, two one - time! Is he allowed the last one?

Come on, Mark, there's pain going on here. Bruised my undercarriage. How

did he do. In order to achieve the record, you needed to pull on ten

pairs of swimming trunks within 30 seconds. In the 30 seconds, you

managed... Just nine. How does it feel to have just missed

out? I mean... Thanks Mark. Yeah, Mark, it was all going so well. This

is nothing, your ego has still got fine. I thought you did really well.

Thanks though, Mark. Thank you very much, Mark.

Well done, Greg. Keep those on for the rest of the

night? They aren't coming off - actually do you want to take them

off for me? Come on, let's go. Thank you, guys.

What an image. Now, you're about to meet a very

special boy, called Milan. The most powerful earthquake to hit

Nepal in 80 years has killed... Along with large-scale loss of

life... My heart is really moving now. Everyone's running through the

streets. In April 2015, a powerful earthquake, along with 120

aftershocks killed almost 9,000 people in Nepal, leaving devastation

in its wake. Eight-year-old Milan's life was

changed forever. This pile of dirt and rubble was once his home.

Before the earthquake proinjects funded by Sport Relief were already

providing education for vulnerable children in Kathmandu. Now more than

ever, they need help. They will get the support to turn their lives

around. Your money really will make all the difference. So please give

what you can tonight. Please call: Or go online. Thank you.

Milan is just one of over a million children whose lives have been

Just ?10 could pay for a vulnerable child living

on the streets of Nepal to access health care services for a year.

Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network message charge

and 100% of your donation will go to Sport Relief.

Now it's the time for what everyone agrees

is the biggest thing on Sport Relief.

We've certainly left the best till last.

It's time for, you need to hold this actually, it's time for, and go

bananas for this... The Tech partners and mobile operators thank

you. APPLAUSE

These guys not only make it possible for you to pick up your phones

and donate, but what's more they don't take a single penny

Let's give them a massive cheer. APPLAUSE

OK, I'm going to need a little help for this.

Please welcome one of my oldest friends...

Where is he? That man there? Is he coming to the stage? This man here?

Yes, my oldest and dearest friend, Josh.

OK, we'd like to thank, EE, O2, Three, Virgin Media,

OK, we'd like to thank, EE, O2, Three, Virgin Media...

Vodafone - you have all been extraordinary, thank you.

Is that it? Is there one more? Is there not another one? Yes!

Right, I think I need a lie down. Greg, can you take over please?

It is 2016, this is degrading. Yes, he has got nice arms, but are you

happy?! I'm not sure he is very happy. He has got that tattooed on

his breasts! My oldest friend, thank you!

Now please don't forget that Sport Relief doesn't end tonight,

No, because on Sunday at 1.15pm, live on BBC One,

the Sport Relief Games Show will be kicking off!

That's right, tens of thousands of you across the country will be

running, swimming, and cycling for Sport Relief, and we'll be

Join us on Sunday as people all over the nation do themselves proud

We're live from the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park as a whole

host of famous people join us for the culmination

We will test those famous faces with challenges.

And we will bring you the action from across the country as thousands

of you walk, run, swim or cycle yourselves proud

to raise cash and change people's lives.

I will be there on Sunday doing a mile around the Olympic Park, there

is loads going on on Sunday. Anything you want to do, all

abilities welcome. Go to the website.

And there is still time to sign up so go online bbc.co.uk/sportrelief,

if you've had a few beers and you've got that

false confidence that makes you feel you can take on the world,

then we're here to take advantage of you -

It really will be a fantastic day out,

bring the family, kids, grandparents, and literally

So, we just heard the theme tune to Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. I think it

is time, don't you? I think it is time!

You were supposed to be here half an hour ago.

You're going to miss our daughter's big race.

I have just got to pop in and get Jessica some food luck flowers.

You know how flustered I get lately, what with me

Men don't go through the change, Frank.

Well how else would you explain my recent

You clearly have not been driving very

long, or you would have more consideration for a man

What are you doing on the roof of a car, on a bicycle?

Well, if they had a proper cycle lane, I would not be up here!

Do you know how much this car is worth?

And might I suggest that you take your driving a bit

I am guessing you do not know what I do

You may have a new car and fancy yourself as king of the road,

As my mother always said, mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

If you can't drive without a fuss, then give up your car,

My daughter is in one of those races.

4.99. Thank you.