The Good the Baaa & the Ugly Danger Mouse


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The Good the Baaa & the Ugly

Animated series. When Danger Mouse and Penfold are sent on a mission to a mysterious island, Danger Mouse's competitiveness borders on criminal.


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Go!

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Agggh!

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# He's the greatest he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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-# He's the ace

-The ace

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-# He's amazing!

-Amazing

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# He's the strongest he's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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You're finished, Penfold. The worm has turned.

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What's this?

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Have our two heroes fallen out?

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Is this the end of our dynamic duo?

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Will somebody please think of the children!

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Oh, they're playing battle canoes.

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Kaboom!

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You've sunk my aircraft carrier canoe.

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-Why do you always have to win, chief?

-I don't have to win...

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CHEERING

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WEEPING

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..it's just what happens when you're the best.

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It might be nice if someone else won for a change.

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Unfortunately, for that to happen

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-I'd have to lose and, well, let's face it - I can't.

-Hmm!

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DM, it's time to explain your mission. Uploading dossier.

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Activate iPatch.

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-Chief. Chief...!

-Shush!

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Agggh!

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According to Intel, the Baron has information

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that could destroy the world.

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Danger Sheep went to infiltrate his secret hideaway

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but we've lost contact.

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Agggh!

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-So we're the rescue party.

-Aggh!

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I don't know why you just didn't send a winner in the first place.

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Phew! Agggh!

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Aggggh!

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Your mission is to rescue Danger Sheep...

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Agggh!

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..and disrupt whatever it is the Baron's up to.

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You can rely on me and Penfold.

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WEEPING

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Probably more me than him but we come as a pair.

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CREEPY MUSIC PLAYS

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The creepy music suggests that this must be the Baron's secret hideout.

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SCREAMING

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-Baaagh! Baaagh!

-Huh, Danger Sheep!

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They must be torturing him. The villains!

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Baaaghh! Baaaagh!

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A bit lower. Ah, yes, that's the spot.

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Danger Sheep, what's going on?!

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Danger Sheep, sorry, no. I am...

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-FRENCH ACCENT:

-Dangerous Sheep...

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..from France.

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FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

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-Whoa! Is this how all villains live?

-Disgusting, isn't it?

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Yeah, it's disgusting. Now beat it, DM, before you blow my cover.

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Fellow villains, it is my pleasure to welcome you...

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Speak up!

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-Fellow villains...

-Louder!

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-Fellow...!

-Too loud!

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Look, all I wanted to say is that one of you jerks

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-will be my new henchman.

-Hey, some of us jerks are female!

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Aggh! My new henchperson will have lifetime membership

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to my villainous hideaway.

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And this...

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The details of every villainous plan for the next 104 episodes.

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With it you will be able to master the underworld!

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-Or bring it down.

-The competition will begin today.

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May the best villain win.

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Did he say, "Win?"

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-GERMAN ACCENT:

-Hello, I am Viscount Victor von Vicious.

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No-one else stands a chance,

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so you may as well give me that data stick now.

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-No.

-Fine, whatever.

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I will win.... Vin any vay.

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Task one - you are to travel to the four corners of the world.

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There you will demonstrate the one thing that separates

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the good-bad guys from the bad-bad guys. Yes!

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Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

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HE INHALES

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Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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SIGHING

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One point for the sheepy.

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Task two - London.

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Break through the toughest security in the world

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And rob the Bank of England.

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SCREAMING

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FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

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One Bank of England. I think you'll find that I, Dan...

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I, Viscount Victor von Vicious was victorious!

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Huh! Any self-respecting villain would have kept it all for himself.

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Also, Dangerous Sheep stole all the money when you weren't looking!

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Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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What a loser!

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CREEPY LAUGHTER

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Ah, Penfold, you're rubbish at competitions.

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How do you cope with losing day in, day out?

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-Oh, I'm just naturally talented that way.

-Well, I'm not. I need to win.

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It doesn't really matter if you lose.

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I'll pretend you didn't say that, Penfold.

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Huh, fine, but you're going about this all wrong.

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It's a villains' competition.

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You don't win by being the best, you win by cheating.

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I could never cheat!

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Well, then, think of it as winning at the game of cheating.

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Interesting.

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You could justify any immoral activity that way. I'll do it!

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-BOTH:

-Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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DM! We've had a report that...

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Were you both, "Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-haing?

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-BOTH:

-No.

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You can't pull the wool over my knees. You've gone rogue!

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I'm sending a rescue party for the rescue party

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and putting another rescue party on standby. K out!

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If I'm going to cheat, I'm going to have to do it quickly.

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The final task - competitors must...

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HE SQUEAKS

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The final test is...

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To steal a melon and here it is, I win.

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I think you'll find the final task is a lot more fiendish than that.

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-Stiletto!

-So task three was steal the moon,

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but someone's changed a moon to melon with a crayon.

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That was me. I cheated. Ha-ha! So I think you'll find I'm the winner.

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Here's your mallet, Baron.

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-What mallet? Stiletto?

-Someone just changed melon to mallet!

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Ah, that would be me.

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Ah, by virtue of being the last competitor to cheat,

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Dangerous Sheep is the winner!

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Ha, you loser.

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-Chief, you've gone a funny colour.

-Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h!

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No, no, no, no!

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I've never seen such an incredibly bad loser.

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And being a bad loser is THE essential trait of a henchman.

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We have another winner!

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-Oh, whoops!

-We can't have two winners, Barone.

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You're right, Stiletto, there is only one way to settle this -

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-a final task.

-Mwa-ha-ha!

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A deadly swimming pool battle slam!

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It doesn't look very deadly.

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Yep, that's a lot better.

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-Baaa!

-Good luck, Danger Sheep. Let's have a fair fight.

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-He's Danger Mouse.

-GASPING

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He can't be a henchman, so I win.

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-Well, he's Danger Sheep.

-GASPING

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-So he can't win either.

-Who cares about the competition?

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I've got Danger Mouse and Danger Sheep at my mercy.

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Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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-Now fight!

-Looks like now we both lose.

-This has got to stop.

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-We're Danger Agents and we have to start acting like it.

-Another trick.

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No trick. I've got a plan to get us out of this.

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I'm relying on you to do the right thing for a change.

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Follow my lead. I, Danger Mouse, lose.

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Yes, I have defeated Danger Mouse!

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No, you didn't defeat me - I chose to lose.

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-So what?

-So you didn't win. Thus, I win by losing.

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So if Danger Sheep beat me and if I beat the Baron, ipso facto,

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Danger Sheep beat the Baron and is now the head of villainy hideaway.

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Result!

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So Danger Sheep can banish anyone he wants.

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Right, I banish the Baron.

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Get him of here!

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Huh? Agggh!

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Agggggghhhh!

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And now Danger Sheep will dismantle this haven of evil.

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Right, Danger Sheep? Danger Sheep?

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-Oh, no!

-I am your new leader and I command you to party!

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-Oh, yeah!

-FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

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First I'll rule this villainous hideaway and then the world.

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You'll have to go through me first.

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I've already beaten you once on my own, Danger Mouse.

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It'll be even easier with all my new minions and allies.

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-That's true, but then I've got a few allies of my own.

-What's that noise?

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Bad show, Danger Sheep.

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Oh, Colonel, this isn't how it looks.

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We had a plan, didn't we, Danger Mouse? Tell him. Go on, tell him.

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Agggh!

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I think you'll find it's rather interesting, Colonel.

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Excellent work, DM. Your dedication and focus to the cause are...

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Oh, a waterslide!

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Well done, chief. You lost and you didn't freak out at all.

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-No, no, I chose to lose.

-But you did lose.

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No, it's not quite the same.

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And so by choosing to lose, Danger Mouse wins.

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Erm, therefore, he's a losing-winner...

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Or a winning-loser.

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Yes, it's a tricky one, isn't it?

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# He's the greatest

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# He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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When Danger Mouse and Penfold are sent on a rescue mission to a mysterious island, Danger Mouse's overcompetitiveness borders on criminal.