Attack of the Clowns Danger Mouse
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
# He's the greatest, he's fantastic | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
# Wherever there is danger He'll be there | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
-# He's the ace -The ace | 0:00:14 | 0:00:15 | |
-# He's amazing -Amazing! | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
# He's the strongest he's the quickest | 0:00:17 | 0:00:18 | |
# He's the best | 0:00:18 | 0:00:21 | |
# Danger Mouse Danger Mouse | 0:00:21 | 0:00:26 | |
# Danger Mouse! # | 0:00:26 | 0:00:32 | |
Since the dawn of time, mankind has | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
sought the answer to one question above all others. Are we a lemon? | 0:00:40 | 0:00:46 | |
A lemon? Alone, are we alone. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
They really should turn off predictive text | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
when they write these scripts. A-hem. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:54 | |
Today, from the depths of outer space, comes the answer. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:59 | |
-Just think, Penfold, we're going to meet our first-ever aliens. -Oh, yes. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:05 | |
Well, apart from Quark, he's an alien. Oh, and the Wapos. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:08 | |
And the alien fly people. And... | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
Yes, but apart from them, a special, special day. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:14 | |
Ah, DM. First contact with alien life, eh? | 0:01:14 | 0:01:18 | |
Fourth. At least. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:19 | |
Penfold? Shush. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:21 | |
Hail, earthlings. We are the Bozorians. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:38 | |
Greetings. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:39 | |
Now, on behalf... | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
CIRCUS MUSIC | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
A-hem. And on behalf of all earthlings, may I... | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
-Is he laughing at us? -HE LAUGHS | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
No, no, he was saying, "Ha-ha, hello. Welcome to Earth." | 0:01:55 | 0:02:00 | |
Good, because on our planet, | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
laughter is considered extremely rude. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:06 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
-Chief, what are you doing? -LAUGHING: -Sorry. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:16 | |
But ever since I was little, I've found clowns hilarious. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:20 | |
Ah, Crumples the clown. I wonder what happened to him? | 0:02:31 | 0:02:35 | |
But these aren't clowns. They just look like clowns. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:39 | |
Perhaps our advanced technology can help your earthling friend. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:44 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
HORN SOUND | 0:02:48 | 0:02:49 | |
He is laughing at us! That does it. We're leaving! Pancake, the keys. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:56 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:02:58 | 0:03:02 | |
Well, that's done it, Chief. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
Never mind, we all...we all had a good laugh. And no harm done. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:11 | |
Citizens of Earth, as you have seen fit to ridicule us, | 0:03:12 | 0:03:18 | |
we have no choice but to declare war on your planet. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:23 | |
Well, that's not very funny. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
Bozorians, attack. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:28 | |
-Oh, crumbs. Flying saucers! -Nope, they're custard pies. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:35 | |
And we're back. Brilliant! | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
-Should I go for the Danger Jet? -Don't bother, Penfold. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
A massive spoon ought to do it. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
A disaster, DM. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
The Bozorians are a proud and noble people, and your unprofessional | 0:03:55 | 0:03:59 | |
sniggering has provoked them into a full-scale invasion! | 0:03:59 | 0:04:03 | |
It's not my fault they look like clowns. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
Professor? Why are you in here? | 0:04:09 | 0:04:12 | |
Uh, just doing a bit of cleaning. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
SHE WHISTLES | 0:04:14 | 0:04:17 | |
All right, it's the clowns, I can't stand them! | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
But everyone loves a clown! Look at these. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
CIRCUS MUSIC | 0:04:21 | 0:04:25 | |
She really doesn't like clowns. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
Sorry, Colonel. From now on, | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
I'll take the Bozorian invasion situation 100% seriously. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:37 | |
Look out! Bozorian troop carriers. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
CIRCUS MUSIC | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:04:49 | 0:04:52 | |
Oh, yes. Squirt me with water. Oh, brilliant. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:58 | |
No! | 0:04:58 | 0:04:59 | |
These clowns are no joke, chief. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
Nope, they're not. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:08 | |
That's marvellous timing, though. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
Calamity! It's an Earth versus clown intergalactic war! | 0:05:11 | 0:05:16 | |
And while the world seems ready to crack, | 0:05:16 | 0:05:19 | |
all our hero can do is crack up! | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
But after a ten second war montage, cool heads prevail. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:30 | |
Peace talks agree that once Danger Mouse | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
has signed a formal apology, both sides | 0:05:32 | 0:05:35 | |
will make an intergalactic no laughing pact. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
I shall relay your sincere apology to the Bozorian hive-mind. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:44 | |
Bozorians, move. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:56 | |
HORN SOUNDS | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
MUFFLED LAUGHTER | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
HE LAUGHS LOUDLY | 0:06:05 | 0:06:09 | |
You've made fun of us for the last time, earthlings. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:14 | |
HORN SOUND | 0:06:14 | 0:06:15 | |
Well, that that a lot better than I expected. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:18 | |
THUD | 0:06:18 | 0:06:19 | |
Choose your fate, earthlings. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
Rabbit, horse or poodle? | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
The fiends! The Earth won't stand being balloon modelled into | 0:06:25 | 0:06:29 | |
anything more complicated than a giraffe. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
-It'll tear apart. -Ha-ha! | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
I need to think about something so sad, it stops me laughing. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
How about the tale of someone you love, | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
being betrayed and exiled from their home forever? | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
Behold, the agency's most secret-est secret. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
-Crumples! -I was once ruler of the Bozorians. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
But my best friend Pom-Pom betrayed me, dyed me black and white, | 0:06:55 | 0:07:00 | |
and stole the solid gold nose. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
No-one exiles my favourite clown and gets away with it. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:07 | |
It's time I got serious. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
Hurry, DM. The fiends have modelled the Earth into a poodle. | 0:07:20 | 0:07:24 | |
It can't take much more of this. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
Let's quit clowning around. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
Ow! | 0:07:39 | 0:07:40 | |
Ha-ha! Too late, laugh-y, laugh-y earth dweller. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:45 | |
Soon, your planet... | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
HE GIGGLES | 0:07:49 | 0:07:50 | |
Oh, don't you start, Penfold. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
HORN SOUND | 0:07:52 | 0:07:53 | |
Oh, crumbs. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
Is this the final punchline for mankind? | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
Will Danger Mouse have the last laugh? | 0:07:58 | 0:08:00 | |
Will any of us ever laugh again? | 0:08:00 | 0:08:03 | |
Cos personally, I think it it's been going downhill | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
ever since the lemon gag. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
The only way to stop them is to defeat their champion, | 0:08:09 | 0:08:13 | |
Simon the Big, in single combat. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
SMALL HORN SOUND | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
No-one makes a monkey out of my planet. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
I challenge Simon the Big to single combat. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:24 | |
THEY GASP | 0:08:24 | 0:08:25 | |
Agreed! Tiny Phil, go and get him. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
THUD | 0:08:30 | 0:08:31 | |
THUD | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
THUD | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
THUD | 0:08:34 | 0:08:35 | |
THUD | 0:08:35 | 0:08:36 | |
-Oh, honestly. -Fight! | 0:08:36 | 0:08:38 | |
HORN SOUNDS | 0:08:38 | 0:08:40 | |
HE ROARS | 0:08:40 | 0:08:41 | |
Whoa. What are you doing? | 0:08:45 | 0:08:48 | |
Bozorians don't hit each other when they fight. They fight themselves. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:54 | |
THUD | 0:08:55 | 0:08:56 | |
BIRDS TWEETING | 0:08:56 | 0:08:57 | |
That's absurd. | 0:08:57 | 0:08:59 | |
Uh, fate of all mankind, etc, chief? | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
THUD | 0:09:02 | 0:09:03 | |
HORN SOUND | 0:09:03 | 0:09:04 | |
SLOW CIRCUS MUSIC | 0:09:05 | 0:09:11 | |
Who knew making a fool of yourself was so hard? | 0:09:12 | 0:09:16 | |
Remember your sixth birthday. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
CIRCUS MUSIC | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
Whoa. Stop it! What's wrong with you? | 0:09:40 | 0:09:43 | |
What are we, savages? | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
CIRCUS MUSIC | 0:09:45 | 0:09:49 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
You earthlings have shown us that perhaps | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
we do need to work on our sense of humour. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
I thank you Danger Mouse, Colonel, Penfold, | 0:10:05 | 0:10:10 | |
and Professor Squawkencluck. | 0:10:10 | 0:10:13 | |
Go away, go away! Don't touch me! | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
No, no, no, no, no, no, no... | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
We're laughing at her real and deeply felt fear. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:22 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:10:22 | 0:10:24 | |
Join us next time for more of the big questions. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
Like, if clowns are aliens, what about jugglers? Or magicians? | 0:10:27 | 0:10:32 | |
And if a clown falls over in a forest and nobody laughs, | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
does he still get paid? | 0:10:35 | 0:10:36 | |
Whatever the question, you can be sure the answer is...Danger Mouse! | 0:10:36 | 0:10:40 | |
# He's the greatest, | 0:10:43 | 0:10:44 | |
# He's fantastic | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
# Wherever there is danger | 0:10:46 | 0:10:47 | |
# He'll be there | 0:10:47 | 0:10:48 | |
# Danger Mouse Danger Mouse | 0:10:48 | 0:10:54 | |
# Danger Mouse! # | 0:10:54 | 0:10:59 |