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CRAIG HUMS A TUNE | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
Someone's a happy bunny this morning. | 0:00:03 | 0:00:05 | |
What's not to be happy about? It is a beautiful day! | 0:00:05 | 0:00:09 | |
The sun is a-shining and the birds are a-tweeting. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:14 | |
HE CONTINUES TO HUM A TUNE | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
(Is he OK?) | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
Ha-ha, morning ladies! | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
You're looking good! | 0:00:23 | 0:00:25 | |
Um, that's us just off to Dad's now. | 0:00:27 | 0:00:28 | |
Yeah, he's got a big surprise for us, apparently. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:31 | |
-Oh, what is it? -We don't know yet. That why it's called a surprise. | 0:00:31 | 0:00:35 | |
Oh, maybe he's whisking you off on holiday? | 0:00:35 | 0:00:37 | |
Yeah, right(!) He's probably just fixed that leaky tap finally. | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
Better still, he's fixed the lock on the bathroom door. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
Whoo! | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
I can dream, can't I? | 0:00:45 | 0:00:48 | |
OK, so, what did you want to tell us? | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
Right, well, we have got some big news that will affect all of us. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:30 | |
Please be sending us to a school for wizards and witches, please. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
Has this got something to do with why you've been eating | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
-pickled onions for lunch? -Well, yes. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:40 | |
The reason I've been a bit all over the place is because... | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
-You're pregnant, aren't you? -What? No way! They're having a baby? | 0:01:42 | 0:01:47 | |
-I always wanted to be a brother. -You already are a brother. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:51 | |
Oh, loves! So, you don't mind, then? | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
-Ew, Mum, onion breath. -Oh... -And, no, of course we don't mind. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:58 | |
Hiya. What's going on? | 0:01:58 | 0:01:59 | |
I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be acting like this | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
-if Dad fixed a tap. -Um, hi, girls. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
-Ooh, hi! -The thing is, | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
um, we-we-we-we've got some big news. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
-Dad, are you all right? Do you need to sit down? -No, no. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:13 | |
I'm fine. The thing is, well, kind of... | 0:02:13 | 0:02:17 | |
we're...having a baby. That's all, no big deal. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:21 | |
-Right, who's hungry? -Wow! Dad, really? | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
-That's amazing! -But nothing's going to change, OK? | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
I'll still have loads of time for you two. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
Yeah, right. Everything is going to change! | 0:02:28 | 0:02:31 | |
Sandwich, anyone? I feel like peanut butter and goat's cheese. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:34 | |
No, no, you sit down, I will make it. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:36 | |
Dad, this is huge. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:38 | |
No, it's not, it's no big deal. Everything'll be just like before. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:42 | |
Dad, you're buttering your hand. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
Oh, I'm so happy and I just... Well, I love you all and I feel... | 0:02:46 | 0:02:50 | |
I feel nauseous. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
Morning sickness... | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
What a bombshell. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:07 | |
I did not see that coming. And neither did Mum. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
Having a baby? At his age? | 0:03:12 | 0:03:15 | |
-I know, right? -Well, good for them, eh? | 0:03:15 | 0:03:19 | |
Well, yeah, I guess... | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
-Oh, don't be getting any ideas. -Don't worry. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
Cos nappies and no sleep and lugging around car seats... | 0:03:25 | 0:03:29 | |
-It's OK, you had me at nappies. -Oh, good. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:31 | |
Your dad never ceases to amaze. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:35 | |
And it's great, but why does Dad keep saying nothing'll change | 0:03:37 | 0:03:41 | |
and that he'll still have time for us? | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
Does that mean that he won't? | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
And will I spend the rest of my grown-up time with Dad | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
in a soft-play area? | 0:03:47 | 0:03:49 | |
Now, THAT is a... | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
-What is that? -A kumquat. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
A kumquat. You're so clever, Shaz. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:02 | |
Have you got a pencil? | 0:04:02 | 0:04:04 | |
In the stationery drawer. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:07 | |
On your right. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:08 | |
No, your other right. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
Ah, Sharon. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
Thanks-a-mundo! | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
Yo! Daddy Mac, you're rocking that tracksuit. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:24 | |
Wow, you look great. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
See you later, guys. | 0:04:27 | 0:04:28 | |
CRAIG HUMS A TUNE | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Have you seen him act like this before? | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
Because it feels a bit weird. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:35 | |
Now you mention it, he's never quite that pleasant. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:39 | |
It might be a cry for help. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:42 | |
Really? Nah, he's probably just coming out of a ten-year slump. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
-What about Zeus? -No. How about...? | 0:04:52 | 0:04:56 | |
Oh, what are you guys up to? | 0:04:56 | 0:04:57 | |
Just helping Fran come up with names for the new baby. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
Except everything he suggests is completely ridiculous. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
You're too choosy. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:04 | |
She didn't even like Barnacle or Apollo. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
OK, you know what, there is no rush. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
We've got months before this baby's here. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
You can't leave it till the last minute. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
That baby's going to be stuck with this name for the rest of his life. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
You are both OK, aren't you, about the whole baby thing? | 0:05:16 | 0:05:21 | |
Of course we are. Why else would we be thinking of baby names? | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
JAKE GASPS | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
I've got it! What about Merlin? | 0:05:27 | 0:05:30 | |
Or maybe Liam? | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
-Hercules. -I'll put it on the shortlist. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:36 | |
Hi, Craigy. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
-You all right, Sharon? -Yeah, I'm fine. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
-You fine? -Yeah. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:46 | |
-Because... -Well, it's just... | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
you seem so...happy. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:53 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
-And that's a problem, why? -Oh, no, it isn't. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
No, no, not in the slightest. | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
Good. Good. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
Right, well, I'll see you around, then. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:10 | |
Ah, Dad, is Sharon all right? Cos she is acting well weird. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:21 | |
DOOR CLOSES | 0:06:31 | 0:06:33 | |
-What are you drawing? -An ostrich family. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
See, the daddy ostrich has his head buried in the sand. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:54 | |
You're kind of freaked, aren't you? You've not been through this before. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:57 | |
-Through what? -What I went through with you. | 0:06:57 | 0:07:01 | |
When you're not the young, cute one any more and you've got to share | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
your mum and dad, and the new baby sicks on your best jumper. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
I'm kind of worried about us and Dad. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
-He thinks nothing's going to change. -Yeah, well, he's got a short memory. | 0:07:12 | 0:07:16 | |
And at least when I was born, that was still half a dad per kid. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:20 | |
-Half a dad? -And now there's Fran and Jake and with the baby, too, | 0:07:20 | 0:07:23 | |
so that's a fifth of a dad, and there are 24 hours in a day, | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
so that's 24 minus 7 divided by 5. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:30 | |
How much kid-dad quality time is that? | 0:07:30 | 0:07:32 | |
How should I know? I'm not Stephen Hawking! | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
Look, stop panicking, OK? | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
Dad's got this. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
I wish I was so sure. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
You are the cutest. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
BABY GURGLES | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
Dad, can we go out for fish and chips? | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
Hang on, love, just changing the baby. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
Aren't I, eh, little cutie pie? | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
Yeah, just hold that, Millie. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:02 | |
Good, there you go, and that. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
-Sorry, what did you want, love? -It's OK. Not hungry any more. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:11 | |
BABY GURGLES | 0:08:11 | 0:08:12 | |
But Dad doesn't think these things through, like when we moved. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:18 | |
Only this time it's not about him having room for us in his flat, | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
it's about having room in his life. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:24 | |
I know what's going on with Craig. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:27 | |
Whoa! | 0:08:30 | 0:08:31 | |
-Are those...? -Love poems, yeah. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:34 | |
Maybe he's got a girlfriend? | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
-What are you doing with my book? -Hello, Craig. I mean... | 0:08:39 | 0:08:43 | |
Somebody's in love. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
You snooped...at my private stuff? | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
I'm sorry, that was wrong, but we were really worried. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:53 | |
-You were so happy. -Yeah, well, not any more! | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
It's OK, son, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
Who is the lucky girl, Craigy? | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
There's no-one, OK? | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
I write songs for other people who are in love, | 0:09:03 | 0:09:09 | |
like a chef cooking food they're not going to eat. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
HE SIGHS | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
He'll be all right. I'll take him out for pizza, | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
cheer him up and get him to tell me who it is! | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
Do you think the girls could tell that I was nervous? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
Well, the hand buttering was a bit of a giveaway. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
-I don't want it to be a big deal. -It IS a big deal. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
Nah... Well, I mean, yeah, | 0:09:34 | 0:09:37 | |
but I want the girls to think that things'll carry on like normal. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:40 | |
What are you doing? | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
-Plunging. -You sit down, I'll do that. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:45 | |
You know, Jake drew me a picture | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
of him paintballing with his little brother. | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
He does know there's a 50% chance it'll be a sister? | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
Look, I've made the baby some booties out of my old phone cases. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:05 | |
OK. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:06 | |
So, you know when Dad wires up a place and has to test the circuit? | 0:10:06 | 0:10:11 | |
-We need to do that to him. -Plug him into the mains? | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
What? No, test him. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
Because he doesn't have the first idea how it'll be. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
So, what if he blows a fuse? | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
Then he'll realise he doesn't have all the time in the world | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
and he'll make sure he has some for us. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
OK. Serious face. You're right. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
I'm betting Dad won't crack but let's stress-test him anyway. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:33 | |
How? | 0:10:33 | 0:10:35 | |
We need to push him as far as we can. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:38 | |
Start off small and see where it leads us. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:41 | |
And if we get desperate, there's always this. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
A Midsummer Night's Dream. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
I'll explain later. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
Hey. You must be exhausted. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
-Here, let me help you. -Oh, well, thanks. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
I mean, I'm not that pregnant but, hey, spoil me. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
Can me and the baby go to the park? | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
He's not even been born yet, Jake. | 0:11:02 | 0:11:04 | |
When he's born, can we go to the park? | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
Oh, and swimming. And the cinema. And play football. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
Hey, how about we let your mum rest for a wee bit, eh? | 0:11:10 | 0:11:13 | |
Come on. Oh, and, Jake, you do know that the baby, | 0:11:13 | 0:11:17 | |
well, it might be a girl? | 0:11:17 | 0:11:20 | |
Tony, are you saying that girls can't play football? | 0:11:20 | 0:11:22 | |
No! | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
(Keep your voice down.) | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
-RAPS: -When I see you in class, yeah, I think you look...classy... | 0:11:28 | 0:11:33 | |
-RAPS: -If I said you look great, would you think I was sassy? | 0:11:37 | 0:11:41 | |
Yeah, actually that's not... | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
Oh, come on, Dad, do I not get any privacy? | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
Oh, no, I just came to see if you wanted to go for a pizza later, | 0:11:46 | 0:11:49 | |
or I could help you bust some rhymes? | 0:11:49 | 0:11:51 | |
-I don't need help. -Mate, come on, it's me. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:54 | |
Spill. | 0:11:56 | 0:11:57 | |
OK. Her name's Sheena. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:02 | |
Hair like silk. Eyes of emerald green. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
Voice like a gently flushing toilet. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
-Does she know you like her? -No. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:11 | |
Why would a girl like that want to go out with me? | 0:12:11 | 0:12:13 | |
I mean, obviously my awesomeness would just make her feel insecure. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:21 | |
Any girl would be lucky to go out with my boy. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
I'm going to help you write a love song that will melt Sheena's brain. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:28 | |
-Really? -Yeah. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
Hey, Jake. Psyched about the new baby? | 0:12:41 | 0:12:42 | |
Yeah, and he might be a girl. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
Right, that's sorted. Now, I'll fix that lamp in the bedroom. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:50 | |
-Hey! -Hi, Dad. Could you wash this for us? | 0:12:50 | 0:12:53 | |
What's wrong with the washing machine at home, love? | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
-Craig tried stone-washing his jeans, but with real stones. -Oh. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
And don't forget to separate the colours from the whites. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:00 | |
-And pin our socks together. We keep losing them. -I'll get on with it | 0:13:00 | 0:13:03 | |
-right after I've... -Any chance of a cup of tea? | 0:13:03 | 0:13:05 | |
-Aye, love, coming up... -Two sugars and just a pinch of salt. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:08 | |
-Thanks. -Aye, love, aye. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
-Tony? -Just one minute, Jake, OK? | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
And don't forget the fabric softener. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
-And I need new school shoes. -Her feet are literally out of control. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
You don't want me growing up with squashed toes. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
-Tony, Tony, is it all right if I...? -Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. -Cool. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:22 | |
PAGER BEEPS | 0:13:22 | 0:13:24 | |
Tony, Tony, I've just had a call-out. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
-Where did you put my bag? -Hallway. -Thanks. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:30 | |
Ooh, and I need to take some photos of you later for a school project. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
OK, love. Sure. Whatever you need. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:34 | |
So, it's cup of washing, tea machine, pin socks together, | 0:13:34 | 0:13:40 | |
shoes, project. Right. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
Sure we got the right size? | 0:13:56 | 0:13:58 | |
I'm pretty sure. You tried on every pair in the shop. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:01 | |
Well, now I'd better make a start... | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
He's coping well so far, but we haven't brought out | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
-the big guns yet. -I told you so. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
There's more than enough Dad to go around. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
He's got this under control. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
Ah, no! | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
Oh, Dad, how much powder did you use? | 0:14:17 | 0:14:20 | |
Tony, we need to talk baby names. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
I read that it's bad luck for a baby to be born without a name | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
-or at least a shortlist. -Can we talk about this later, Fran? | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
Jake, what have you done? | 0:14:28 | 0:14:29 | |
-Is that a Smurf? -I was painting my room, and I had a little accident. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:34 | |
Who said you could do that? | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
You did. I wanted it to look nice for the baby. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
-Come here. -Oh. -Oh... | 0:14:39 | 0:14:43 | |
He's cracking like an egg. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:44 | |
-No way. Dad has still got this. -OK, then, school projects. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
You first. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
Dad, would now be a good time to do my photos? | 0:14:50 | 0:14:51 | |
Aye, sure, just snap away. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:53 | |
OK, the thing is, I kind of need to dress you up a little bit. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
Aye, well, we can do that. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:58 | |
So, it's a photo essay on how clowns have feelings, too. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
You'd make the perfect model. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
Who? A clown? Me? | 0:15:04 | 0:15:05 | |
-Oh, no! -What now? | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
I've got a part in A Midsummer Night's Dream, and I forgot. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:10 | |
I need a costume. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
OK, Lauren, I'll do your pictures | 0:15:12 | 0:15:13 | |
as soon as I'm back from getting Millie a costume. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:16 | |
But the shop is shut, and it'd be so much better if it was home-made. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:20 | |
OK, right, I'll make your costume, Millie, | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
pose for your photos, Lauren, feed Amber's weird food cravings, | 0:15:25 | 0:15:29 | |
clean up Jake and then sort out the kitchen. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
And choose baby names with me. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
Just call me Superdad. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
Do you think you can put me in the washing machine? | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
I've got to hand it to him - Dad's raising his game, | 0:15:42 | 0:15:46 | |
but this is a pushover, | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
and nine months from now, he will not know what's hit him. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
He-he-he... Hello! | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
BABY CRIES | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
Oh... | 0:15:59 | 0:16:00 | |
BABY CONTINUES TO CRY | 0:16:03 | 0:16:06 | |
And there you go. | 0:16:09 | 0:16:11 | |
Daddy Ostrich needs to pull his head out of the sand NOW. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:21 | |
-Here we go. -Oh, good for Craig. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:26 | |
A girlfriend. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
Not quite, but he and I cooked up a great plan. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
He's going to go public outside school tomorrow. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:33 | |
-Go public? -Yeah, I know. So romantic. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:37 | |
-My idea. -Right. And if she turns him down? | 0:16:37 | 0:16:40 | |
-Or laughs at him? -Craig? Be serious! | 0:16:40 | 0:16:44 | |
If it goes wrong, he'll never live it down. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
Life isn't a romcom, especially not at secondary school. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:50 | |
-Well, kids forget. -Kids have phones...with cameras. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:55 | |
-I haven't thought this through, have I? -No. | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
If it's a girl, Hermione. If it's a boy, Harry? | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
-You're still up? -Couldn't sleep. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:12 | |
I'm still trying to choose the best name for the baby. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:14 | |
I've managed to whittle it down to characters from Harry Potter. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
I know this baby feels like a big change, but... | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
..I mean, you really are OK about it, aren't you? | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
I just want to feel a part of the whole thing, like I'm involved. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
You and Tony are going to be the baby's mum and dad, | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
and I just want to know what my role is. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:34 | |
You've got the most important role of all. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:37 | |
You're Big Sister. You've got to be there to lead the way | 0:17:37 | 0:17:41 | |
and give advice and be a shoulder to cry on. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
And choose the baby's name? | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
-On one condition. -What's that? | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
We're not calling it Dumbledore. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
AMBER LAUGHS | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
Now, come on, off to bed. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:55 | |
Tony... | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
SHE GASPS | 0:18:11 | 0:18:12 | |
It's for Lauren's school project - the tears of a clown. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:17 | |
It took hours. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:18 | |
Every pose imaginable. My back's killing me! | 0:18:18 | 0:18:22 | |
You're so good. Are you coming? | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
No, I've got to make Millie a quick costume for Midsummer Night's Dream. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:28 | |
But that will take you all midsummer night! | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
I can't let my girls down. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
I promised that I'll always have time for them. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
Have you ever actually used a sewing machine? | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
No, but how hard can it be? | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
They're very lucky to have you, you know. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
And so am I. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:44 | |
Oh! Go round. The other way! | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
-Morning, love. -You've definitely spoken to Craig? | 0:18:59 | 0:19:01 | |
Yes, of course I did. I set him straight. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
You sure? Because, you know, tough love isn't exactly your speciality. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:06 | |
Trust me on this. I said, | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
"Craig, you must not declare your love for Sheena." | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
Good for you, Mike. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
-Right, I'm off. Wish me luck. -With what? | 0:19:13 | 0:19:18 | |
Sharon, today is the day that I declare my love for Sheena. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:23 | |
I'm going to tell her right in front of everyone. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:25 | |
I tried. Honest! | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
TONY SNORES | 0:19:33 | 0:19:36 | |
Dad... | 0:19:36 | 0:19:37 | |
Dad, did you finish my costume? | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
Mm... Of course... I finished around 6am. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:46 | |
Oh, it's OK. The machine came off much worse than me. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:51 | |
After all that and he still didn't crack. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
What did I tell you? He's as hard as nails. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:59 | |
-Here you go, love. -What's this? I'm playing Puck. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:07 | |
I know. Puck's a fairy. I looked it up. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:08 | |
Puck's a hairy fairy with pointy ears. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:12 | |
-Won't this be all right? -No, Dad. It's totally wrong. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:17 | |
-Wait a minute, there's still time. He could make it again. -Again? | 0:20:18 | 0:20:22 | |
-Make it again?! -I think we just found breaking point. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
I don't have the time. There just aren't the hours... | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
Hours in the day. Yes, Dad, NOW you get it! | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
And it's going to be a whole lot worse with the new baby, | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
so things WILL change. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:38 | |
I haven't been to sleep, and now I've got to go to work, | 0:20:38 | 0:20:42 | |
and I've got to take Amber for a checkup. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:44 | |
-Anyone fancy making me waffles? -There's Fran and Jake... | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
Where's our packed lunches? | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
Whoa, weird clown alert. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:51 | |
I forgot the lunches. Right, I forgot, I forgot... | 0:20:51 | 0:20:54 | |
Wait, wait... Um... Er... Er... | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
Pickled onion sandwiches? | 0:20:59 | 0:21:03 | |
I'm sorry, girls, but you'll just have to fend for yourselves. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:06 | |
When push came to shove, he just didn't have time for us. | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
But we did push him to breaking point. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
But maybe now he'll realise that things won't be like before. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:24 | |
I guess your plan didn't work. That's good, right? | 0:21:24 | 0:21:27 | |
Yeah, but I was kind of hoping I'd be wrong. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:31 | |
What's HE up to? | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
Ah... | 0:21:41 | 0:21:42 | |
Sheena. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:46 | |
Yeah? Kevin, isn't it? | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
No, Craig. I sit next to you in Maths. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
And English. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
And Science. | 0:21:56 | 0:21:58 | |
We're in each other's form room. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
-We were at nursery together. -What do you want? | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
What is he doing? Oh, no, no, no, Craig, no! | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
Sheena... | 0:22:12 | 0:22:14 | |
-RAPS: -When I see you in class, well, I think you look classy. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:18 | |
GIRLS GIGGLE | 0:22:18 | 0:22:20 | |
-RAPS: -And when I see you after school, I think you look well cool! | 0:22:20 | 0:22:24 | |
Oh, you've got to be kidding me. This is going to be brutal. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:27 | |
GIRL: What a loser! | 0:22:27 | 0:22:30 | |
-Don't walk away from me. -RAPS: -Make your steps slower. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:34 | |
-RAPS: -Just wait till you get to know me. I'm a bit of a grower. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
Wait, sorry to stop you. | 0:22:37 | 0:22:39 | |
Kevin, are you asking me out or something? | 0:22:39 | 0:22:42 | |
And what if I was? | 0:22:42 | 0:22:44 | |
Can't believe I'm going to do this. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
If you were, I would have to tell you how I wouldn't go out with you | 0:22:47 | 0:22:50 | |
if you were the last microbe left on Earth. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:52 | |
But carry on. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:54 | |
-Hey, watch it! -Oi! -First, you steal my poetry book, | 0:22:55 | 0:23:00 | |
and then you read it out in front of everyone? | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
How could you do that, taking credit for a poem that I wrote? | 0:23:03 | 0:23:07 | |
That's YOUR poetry book? | 0:23:07 | 0:23:08 | |
For a minute there, I thought Kevin was trying to ask me out. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:11 | |
-No... -HE LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY | 0:23:11 | 0:23:14 | |
Poetry! What a loser! | 0:23:14 | 0:23:18 | |
-Don't push it. You are unbelievable. -GIRL: Who even IS he? | 0:23:18 | 0:23:22 | |
Millie! Millie... | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
PUPILS LAUGH | 0:23:25 | 0:23:27 | |
I knocked it up. There's a whole bag of scrap stuff in the wardrobe. | 0:23:27 | 0:23:31 | |
It's a werewolf-elf mashup. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
-Ta-da! Instant Puck. -PHONE CAMERAS CLICK | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
Dad, you're such a star. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
Face, Dad, face! | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
Get away from school! | 0:23:45 | 0:23:47 | |
At least we're here to pick up the pieces. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:54 | |
You owe me, big time. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
So, Craig, how did it go? | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
How did what? Oh, the asking out. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
-Yeah, you know... -Total omni-disaster. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:09 | |
Turns out she's a complete dappy who can't appreciate raw talent. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:14 | |
Very raw. Like, totally uncooked. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
So, all in all, it was perfect. | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
What? Were we in the same place? | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
Tell me, how was it perfect? | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
Well, I now know what it feels like to be turned down. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
CRAIG LAUGHS | 0:24:28 | 0:24:29 | |
And I can write songs about it... first-hand. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
-And I can help. -No. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:36 | |
Thanks. But if that pizza offer still stands, eh? | 0:24:36 | 0:24:39 | |
So, Dad came through. Just. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:49 | |
Which means my plan failed, and he still thinks he's Superdad. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:55 | |
Ah, how's my Mizzy Millie Moo? I always used to call you that. | 0:24:56 | 0:25:00 | |
Yeah, when I was, like, three. | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
You got off lucky. He used to call me Lauren the Sporran. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:05 | |
It's still not funny. | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
Oi! | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
So, I hope now you realise things won't be the same | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
when the baby comes. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
Aye, you're right. I've only so much time and energy, | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
and I'll have less of them for you two. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
But there's one thing that doesn't get smaller the more it goes round. | 0:25:21 | 0:25:24 | |
-A cold? -No. | 0:25:24 | 0:25:26 | |
Love. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
The reason I wanted to be a dad again | 0:25:28 | 0:25:29 | |
is because it was so brilliant the first time, and it still is. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:34 | |
-He is right. -You listen to Lauren the Sporran. -Dad... | 0:25:34 | 0:25:37 | |
Hey, baby's first selfie. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:40 | |
THEY EXCLAIM | 0:25:40 | 0:25:42 | |
It could be a girl...or a boy... | 0:25:42 | 0:25:45 | |
-or an alien. -But does it look more like a Hermione or a Liam? | 0:25:45 | 0:25:49 | |
Looks more like a jelly bean. | 0:25:49 | 0:25:51 | |
Well, I think it looks like your dad. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:53 | |
-What, fuzzy round the edges? -Man, I'm exhausted. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:56 | |
Even my toenails are tired. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
If any of you need me, I'll be right here. | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
But first, I'm just going to have a little... | 0:26:01 | 0:26:03 | |
I'm just going to have a... have a little nap. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:07 | |
He said he was going to make me an anchovy cheesecake. | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
Oh, well, I suppose I could do it, as long as you guys help. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:13 | |
Come on. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
-JAKE: -Mum, what's an anchovy cheesecake? | 0:26:16 | 0:26:19 | |
Sleeping like a baby. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:20 | |
So, everything is up in the air again, but, on the bright side, | 0:26:20 | 0:26:24 | |
I'll make a ton of money baby-sitting. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 |