Millie in the Mirror Millie Inbetween

Is it just me or are all the big kids super vain?

Lauren's on some weird health kick.

Get that away from me!

That's made from corn, which is made from wheat.

OK, just a few, if you insist.

And Craig's turned into a gym bunny.

-HE GROANS

-That's it, one more,

-and rest.

-And yesterday, I caught him gelling his eyebrows.

So what is it that's melting their brains?

Ha. Yeah, that dress is so on point but it does have flimsiness issues.

Gotta say.

One word - prom.

Ooh, now I am loving this one.

I'll alert the media.

Just get it!

Millie, do you think Toby's going to like it?

This has been going on for weeks.

So, the teal.

Or the pink.

Or the blue fishtail.

You'll look fishy.

-In a good way.

-I'm getting it.

Yay.

PHONE ALERT

Turns out Toby's dog has a water phobia, so blue's out.

Toby's her prom date and possible boyfriend.

See, now that one is goals.

And it's even on sale.

Wow! You should get it.

Hi, girls.

Allow me, you puny ladies.

Stand back.

It's OK, it's early days.

There.

-I loosened it!

-THEY LAUGH

Laugh all you want now but soon my shoulders will be boulders.

And your pecs will be specs?

Dress, buy it, do it!

OK, I'm just going to double-check with Tobes.

Yeah, well, the only muscles you've got are in your thumbs,

from texting Tobes.

Ask him whether or not it's OK to breathe!

Fine, I'm just going to get it, I'm not going to ask him.

OK. Let's get back to it, shall we?

Yeah, it's best not to over do it on your first day.

I mean, remember, we've...

You'll never push your limits unless you find them first.

OK...let's crack on.

-This is about the prom.

-I knew it.

Is it a girl? What's her name?

Actually, no, it's...

We need to find her and then we need to warn her.

Oi...oi!

Out! Both of you, I swear, I'll...

Who's the unlucky girl?

Alyssia, Cherish?

-Huh?

-Who are you getting all buffed up for?

It's not a girl, all right?

It's my band. We're playing at the prom.

I tried to tell you.

-You know his new singer?

-The year 12 guy, Ron.

-He's cool.

-He is.

Ron totally thinks he's it.

-Ron!

-All right?

Mate, you gelling your eyebrows?

No, who does that?

Me. But then, I've got to look fresh.

I front the band.

And I've got a new name.

V-R-O-N.

V-Ron?

No, Vron.

Sick, eh? And I changed the band name to The Flaming Stallions.

Hey, you can't do that without a band meeting!

We had one.

Why wasn't I there?

So we could talk about you.

You're not chucking me out, are you?

I promise, I will stay away from the guitar

and I'll stick entirely to the drums, Ron.

Vron.

What was that song you wrote, man?

Don't Step On My Guts?

Yeah. It's a classic.

Cheers, man.

Classic floor-clearer.

But the problem isn't your songs.

It's that a drummer should be hench.

Look buff in a vest.

Not puny in a parka.

It's an image thing.

OK. I'll do it.

My dad's a personal trainer.

Yeah. I will not let you down, Vern.

Vron!

What a stupid name.

Well, he calls himself Vron now.

I like it. And it's gender neutral cos it could be short for Veronica.

-Or Vronald?

-You wouldn't get it, Millie.

It's an image thing.

No, I get it.

It's a being-mean-to-Craig thing.

-And that's our job.

-Ladies!

You've got it all wrong. See, Vron is doing me a favour.

I'm a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly -

a big, muscly butterfly!

Do you like it?

Yes, for the millionth time!

Tony, do you like it?

-Is that...?

-It's temporary.

In that case, I love it.

I love it, too.

-But it has to come off.

-What?

Not the whole hand, the transfer.

It's school tomorrow. It's against the rules, I'm sorry.

No way, I'm not taking it off!

Just cos Liam gave it to you!

That has nothing to do with this.

This is about my right to express myself.

-It's really not.

-Haven't you got a pixie tattooed on your ankle?

Yes, thank you for bringing that up.

I was young then and I regret it.

Well, I'm young now!

Why not just let her do it and face the consequences?

Let's see... Because that would be abandoning parental responsibility

for an easy life.

Exactly.

What can I wear to school on Friday?

Going out on a limb here -

your uniform?

It's nonuniform day.

Or as I like to call it, judge-me day.

Just stay out of my stuff, Millie.

I mean, can you believe Craig?

How can someone be so obsessed with their appearance?

I know, right?

Honestly, though, Millie, do you think this bag goes with my eyes?

You'd think the older kids would be more confident about their looks.

I bet these would suit me.

No, they won't -

cos they're mine!

You don't get it, do you?

Craig and I, we need to look good.

Or in Craig's case, less bad.

You don't.

But I thought I looked OK?

The thing is, you're clever.

It doesn't matter how you look as long as you ace every test going.

But Craig gets good marks, too...

-surprisingly.

-Yeah, but he doesn't look like he does.

You do.

Oi.

Hey, Ron.

Vron!

-You doing the workouts, bro?

-Oh, yeah, man.

No sweat. I mean, loads of sweat.

-I'm getting pumped.

-You don't look much bigger.

That's cos I'm... I'm actually getting chiselled as well.

-Yeah.

-I need to see results -

tomorrow. Meantime, don't step on your guts, mate.

Made you flinch!

Nice one, Vron! Nice one, mate.

I'm making a stand for freedom.

Let Mr Webster see that and you won't have any.

If the suffragettes thought like that,

we wouldn't be allowed to drive.

-What's that got to do with a fake tattoo?

-It's about the principle.

-Hi, Liam.

-Hey, you've still got it!

Yeah, so do you.

I meant the tattoo.

Oh, right.

Forever. Even though it's temporary.

All right, I better go, but I'll see you later.

Why should we all have to look the same?

It's dull and boring.

What can I wear on judge-me day?

It's easy for Lauren, she's taller than me.

And Fran, well, she has nicer hair.

My eyes are kind of OK.

But then, they are hidden behind my glasses.

I'm a freak.

Maybe I could just wear my uniform and say that I like that?

Yeah, cos no-one would judge me for that(!)

Or maybe I could be ill that day.

What would Lauren do?

Borrow something of Mum's?

Maybe not. Amber?

Shopping!

No-one noticed.

Told you it'd be fine.

You wanted me to censor myself.

That's right. I'm the thought police for wanting you to not

get detention. Can you please take it off now?

Yes, now I've made my point.

She means now that Liam's seen it.

Quiet, you germ!

Hey, what's that?

Oh, it's for Craig.

He needs my help. He needs to get fit really fast.

Ah, that's not the way. You need to take it slow and steady.

It takes time to develop a physique like mine.

So once you've got it...

-HE GIRNS

-..it's yours for life!

Exercise is only a slice of the puzzle.

You need to eat healthily as well.

Your body is your temple.

And my temple needs to get

ripped! So I bought myself a steak.

Oh, OK, I'll cook it up for you.

No, no, you were right, Dad.

See, I hear it does you more good if you eat it raw.

Yeah, I was thinking I could blend it,

make some sort of a steak shake.

Not only is that unsafe but it's also disgusting.

Coming from the guy who drinks cabbage smoothies!

No, I need something to get me going.

What about...this?

Mutant Boy.

Mutation for the nation!

What? I had a Mutant Boy.

I got it when I was your age.

Ta-da!

My new look. I blew all my Christmas money.

What do you think?

The shoes, they're very striking.

-But is it really you?

-You mean I don't look like a nerdy owl?

I mean, you look lovely the way you are.

Well, you're my mum, so you don't really count.

But, Millie...

Oh, sweetheart!

Oh, you look gorgeous!

Now that is more like it.

Oh, you took my breath away.

Millie. What part of "those are mine" don't you understand?

Calm down, I was only trying them on.

Well, go try them back off again.

And they don't work with your legs.

Oh, thanks. Well, I'm going to go now,

and I think you're both mean and undermining and...!

-Whoa!

-Oh, Millie!

Stop laughing at me.

Oh, Lauren, you look beautiful!

Really? Thanks, Craig.

-For a freak!

-That's really nice, coming from a weirdo.

PHONE ALERT

It's Toby!

"It's Toby!"

The good thing about having two families is when you're fed up with

one lot, you can complain to another.

And to be honest, I need someone to big me up a little.

-You've grown.

-New shoes.

What do you think?

I think I liked you more Millie-sized.

Hey, Mills.

Ooh, nice outfit!

Oh! Thank you.

I needed that.

Aw.

HE GROANS

Quick, Jake! Measure.

30 centimetres!

Yes! Not bad, eh?

What was it yesterday?

Let me check.

Oh. 31.

Wait, I've gotten smaller?

Or the tape's got bigger.

-Let me just check.

-No.

No.

This is hopeless! I'm never going to change by tomorrow.

Yes, you can.

If Mutant Boy can.

Mutant Boy was bitten by a radioactive shark, Jake,

-I'm not that lucky.

-I'm not letting you give up.

I'm leaving him here.

-He's watching you.

-No, Jake.

It's over.

Go home.

I was only trying to help.

They were so mean about my new outfit

and I thought I looked good in the shop.

But then, they do have those special bendy mirrors.

Yeah, I mean, I'm exactly the same.

You see clothes that look great on a tall,

gorgeous model and when you get them home, you realise it's a no-no.

Not that you're not tall, or gorgeous, because you are.

I just, I meant me.

And anyway, you shouldn't let people judge you on the way you look.

Hey, gorgeous, can you help me find my spanner?

Coming! I'm sure it's exactly where you left it.

Don't let people judge you on your looks?

But that means I look bad.

And Lauren saying it's OK to be a fashion disaster as long as you're

brainy. I've been kidding myself.

But I guess now I know what people think.

"Here comes geek girl!"

And no, that is not a superhero name.

Craig! I was looking through some boxes, and guess what I found?

My old Mutant Boy.

-Great.

-If you look at Jake's new Mutant Boy,

he's a lot more muscly. Now, what does that tell you?

That Mutant Boy used to be a wimp?

No. Whoever's making them, is making them bigger.

Mutant Boy is changing.

Yeah. Cos he's a mutant.

Yeah, but he's still a boy.

Just ridiculously out of proportion.

You see, they set all these unrealistic goals for girls

and now they're doing the same for boys.

Well, at least we're equal.

Keeping fit is great but you're perfect as you are.

Little bit of eyebrow gel and you're good to go!

I do not gel my eyebrows!

Listen, if you can't make me look hot in a vest,

then can you at least leave me alone?

CRYING

Ah! What are you doing here? I thought I locked the door.

No, you didn't!

How else would I have gotten in, then?

-What's up with you, anyway?

-Where do I start?

My legs are too short.

My arms are too skinny.

I have a gummy smile.

-I look like an owl.

-I'm getting chucked out the band.

I may never leave this room.

Same.

Oh, Lauren! Look at these shoes, they're on sale

and they go really well with your dress.

I hate my dress.

What? Why?

You look really lovely in it.

Toby doesn't think so.

He told one of his friends he thought it looked a bit cheap.

Why, that little...!

Right, I'll talk to him.

-Mum, no!

-Well, how could he be so un-chivalrous?

It's not the medieval ages, OK?

Boys say a lot worse things than that.

It's such a relief to talk about this stuff, out loud.

Feels like one big, emotional burp.

-Better out than in.

-So, how's project Get Hench For Ron going?

It's Vron.

-And it's not.

-Why do musicians have to look all muscly, anyway?

What about James Bay?

Hozier? Ed Sheeran?

-They're all singers.

-You write songs.

Yeah, bad ones, apparently.

Not all of them are bad.

-Really?

-You should do a song for us at prom.

Yeah, there's no way that's happening.

I haven't even got an image.

Erm, parka, miserable, gelled eyebrows?

I do not gel my eyebrows!

Just be yourself.

Not everyone thinks they're so great like Ron.

Some of us aren't so sure of ourselves.

Play a song for us at prom.

What about...

My Hood's Filled With Rain?

Perfect.

I don't know what you're so glum about, Millie.

You should take your own advice.

I'll think about it.

What is that thing?

It's my skull tattoo.

Jake, you cannot go in with a skull tattoo on your hand.

-Why not?

-Because you don't go to pirate school.

You let Fran wear her unicorn.

The unicorn did not have worms coming out the eye sockets.

That's the best bit!

Jake, this is different.

-How?

-Because...

I...

Don't look at me like that.

So, what now, genius?

The important thing about parenting is consistency.

Even if you're consistently wrong?

-Jake does have a point.

-I know Jake has a point.

-I should have been firm with Fran, but here we are.

-Where?

Where are we?

OK. Fine.

Yes!

Result.

Still weak. Can you even lift the drumsticks?

-Don't feel like you've made much progress, mate.

-I have, actually!

And I've decided I'm out.

I'm leaving the band, Ron.

-It's Vron!

-Do you know what the good thing about one-word names like

Sting and P!nk?

-And Beyonce.

-They're memorable.

Vron just...isn't.

I mean, it's not even a proper word, it's just Ron with a pointless V.

It's rubbish!

LAUGHTER

Sit down, mate. Where am I going to find another drummer now?

You should have thought about that before.

I'm going solo. And they've offered me a spot at the prom -

Vron.

Good luck, mate.

You're going to need it.

-APPLAUSE

-Way!

-Come on!

Sorry I let you down, coach.

Nah, you didn't. You showed Vron.

You're fearless, like Mutant Boy.

It's not about what Mutant Boy looks like,

it's what's on the inside that counts.

Yeah. Radioactive shark DNA.

-Come on, look, we're going to be late.

-Hi, Fran.

Have you still got the unicorn?

No, the horn came off, so it was just a horse

so I thought...

-What's the point?

-Right.

Cos horns are pointy, so...

-Lol.

-I've got a tattoo.

No-one cares, go away!

-Er, OK, then.

-No, not you.

-Jokes.

-Good one.

Well, I'd better go.

-Go on, then.

-No, you go on, then!

-No, you!

-I will if you will.

-You OK?

-Yeah.

I've decided to take my own advice, like you said.

Just be myself.

Cool.

Guess you won't be interested in this, then.

What's that?

Just a list of every person on this bus that thinks you're cute.

-What?

-Hey! Don't want you getting all big-headed now, do we?

I'm just saying.

You've got fans!

And we're the ones that aren't so sure of ourselves, right?

-So?

-So if I can stand up and sing in front of everyone at prom,

you can go to school in your own gear.

Hi, guys.

-What's up?

-I got detention for my tattoo.

Oh, Jake.

What did you expect? You went around flaunting it at all the teachers.

So did you.

No, I didn't. I wore gloves.

Wait, you stood up for free expression by wearing a tattoo

under a glove?

Yeah, well, I knew it was there.

Don't worry, Fran,

I told Mr Webster that you had one, too.

You what?

Now, the pastoral care teacher wants to see you for a meeting.

Oh. You are so coming with me for that.

Why does the easy parenting option always end up being hard?

Will you please wash that horrible thing off your hand?

I can't. It's a real one.

What?

Too easy.

I'll wash it off now.

Aren't you going to read that?

Nah. It'll be Toby.

Oh, so are you and him cool now?

Yeah. We're cool.

I told him to find a new date.

No-one tells me how to look.

Except for Cara Delevingne.

So, Craig showed me your list of fans.

Oh. Yeah, that. What does he know?

Yeah, he got it all wrong.

He left some names out.

Shut up!

I didn't mean to make you feel bad about the way you look.

People love you the way you are.

But what if they're wrong?

They're not.

I hate to say this but you're fun to be around.

Normally. When you're not being weird.

Here.

LAUREN LAUGHS

-These are for you.

-I thought they were your favourites!

Yeah, but they look better on you.

Wear them tomorrow. What's the worst that can happen?

People will point and laugh at me.

Two things, Mills.

One, you look amazing in my clothes, which is why you steal them.

And B, who cares?

15 years from now, you're going to be their boss.

AMBER: OK, listen up.

I'm going to say what I should have said in the first place.

No more fake tattoos.

-Are we clear on that?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Well...

-What?

-It's just...

I got a heart on my arm.

Tony, you are not helping!

Can you go and wash it off, please?

And some lettering.

Oh, sweet!

"Amber 4ever?"

Wait, where are you going?

I'm going to wash it off.

I suppose you could keep it on for a bit.

What?

He's just expressing himself.

So, it's prom night and there's no word yet from the battlefield.

-DOOR BANGS

-I smashed it!

I smashed it!

At least, no-one left the room.

-The doors were locked.

-Yeah, but some people did clap at the end

and you should have seen the look on Ron's face.

Oh, well done, son!

How was your date?

Alfie was so sweet and Toby couldn't find another date.

-Oh. Oh, what a shame.

-THEY LAUGH

So, I went in on nonuniform day and it was fine.

No-one cared. I'm keeping Lauren's jeans, though.

She's right, I do look better than her in them.

That's me back on track and nothing is going to throw me off.

PHONE BEEPS

-What is it?

-Someone from the bus just asked me on a double date!

Oh, that's so exciting, Millie.

Not even one of the names from the list.