Mother of Mine - Part One Doctors

Here you go.

Quite chilly out this morning.

You're not feeling cold, are you?

They said you hardly touched your tea last night.

Do you think you could manage some now?

Yes.

I'm doing the market later.

I'll get some of those biscuits you like.

And I've not forgotten your slippers.

Any colour you fancy?

Well, hello. There's a turn up.

Just following the sergeant's instructions.

Coffee and cupcakes for the beautiful lady at the campus surgery.

Aw.

And would I take one for his wife as well.

Right. And where is the charmer?

Manning the desk.

-I'm flying solo today.

-Ooh.

-Right. Take care.

-Thank you.

Oh! What're you doing here?

Hello to you, too.

Smile nicely for the policeman and you might get a cupcake.

Yeah? What have you done?

So suspicious.

Well, if it seems too good to be true, then it usually is.

You're too good to be true.

Ooh, she shoots, he scores.

Somebody shoot me.

Oh, what's rattled you?

Oh, nobody ever gets him a treat.

Thanks, Karen.

So, why the surprise visit?

Well, I was passing.

And you missed me?

You were saying you had some leave owed

and so do I, so...

How about it?

What? A holiday?

Together?

Mr Wratten, this way. Excuse me. Thank you.

What do you reckon?

Mm. Samosas.

You're spoiling me.

Well, dig in.

The sooner we finish these, the quicker we get on to that cake.

Rose water and pistachio.

Looks delicious, Ed.

Very indulgent, but not very nutritious.

As if that matters.

I know, but it's a hard habit to break

after years of lecturing all those mums-to-be

on the do's and don'ts.

Eat sensibly, follow a healthy diet.

When you first started, did the advice began and end with,

"Try to cut back on the smoking and cut out the vodka"?

-We weren't that lax.

-Yeah.

A bit more regimented in some ways.

Yeah, well, no partners in the birthing room.

No, I used to tell them go home.

"We'll phone you when it's all over."

They'd soon show me a clean pair of heels.

Yeah, probably to the pub.

ED LAUGHS

Aw. Do you miss it, Ed?

Oh, I miss the arrivals.

And this. Swapping war stories,

-but Gabby keeps me in the loop.

-Yeah.

DOORBELL RINGS

That'll be the window cleaner.

Ooh, lucky you!

And don't start without me!

Yes, Miss.

Yes?

-Edwina Herriot?

-Can I help you?

Who used to work at St Phil's?

Who are you?

Hello, Mum.

I'm sorry?

It's me. Gavin. Your son.

-You've got the wrong address.

-It's a bit of a shock, I know.

I gave you no warning, but...

LAUGHTER

I know it wasn't the best excuse for a party.

"Whoopee, I got to the end of a year I never thought I'd see."

What do you mean? That's the best excuse going.

Well, I was just going to say it doesn't matter what the reason,

it was lovely to see everyone together,

all up on their feet, dancing.

Yeah, absolutely.

Joe's been dancing all weekend, too.

Oh, has he really? With excitement, I suppose, cos of the nativity.

No, he's playing a bungalow.

All the houses have got this dance routine they have to do

and they've got to sing this song,

-"No room at the inn, or anywhere else for that matter."

-Aw.

I'd hardly call it a dance routine.

They're just all jumping up and down in time with a few jazz hands thrown in.

Like... ?

VALERIE LAUGHS

I just want some answers.

It's taken ages to find you and work up the courage.

Am I that much of a dark secret?

What do you really want? You're upsetting her.

Who are you?

I'm someone who's known her for years, OK,

and she's never mentioned a son.

I want to know why she gave me up.

How are you so sure you've found the right woman?

I can prove who I am.

Look at me.

Take a good, long look.

It's me, Mum.

You're nothing to do with me.

Why did you keep her and not me?

What are you talking about?

Look, I'm just wondering. Maybe it's a mental health thing?

You know, not a mistake?

We should just talk to him and find out a bit.

No. It's not our responsibility.

I mean, I don't see what we can do.

I've been looking for you for ages.

I come all this way...

..and now you want to reject me again.

Fine.

Five minutes.

Now, I have received

a written request from Dr Haskey.

He has asked that our centres not be decorated for Christmas this year.

Oh, here we go.

What?!

I know, but we have to take it seriously

on the grounds of religious and belief discrimination.

I think he's trying to wind you up.

As an atheist, he believes that such decorations

is "offensive to my sensibilities and we do not make such a fuss

"over other religious festivals."

So. How do we proceed?

So you're the same age as her daughter?

We were twins? I never realised.

You're not anything.

Where is she? Does she live local? Does she know about me?

There's nothing to know.

Where have you been all this time?

I grew up the other side of Manchester.

It was children's homes, mainly.

I did get fostered, but it wasn't right.

That must have been difficult.

I'll be honest. I wasn't much good.

I was hardly a straight A student.

I got shunted round, didn't pick my friends well, and, er...

Well, I've done some time.

Nothing serious. Just petty stuff.

-That's it.

-No, no. Wait. Listen.

That's how I got here.

I wanted a fresh start and I figured I had to go back to go forward.

I had counselling.

While you were in prison?

It's something you go through if you want to start looking

for your real parents, through social services.

To prepare you.

Where's my dad?

I don't know because I'm not your mother.

You are Edwina Jane Herriot,

born Edwina Bassett?

All the records match.

I am Gavin Nathan Herriot, born in the Queen Elizabeth hospital,

3rd of January, 1972.

Ed?

I think we should call Gabby.

No, don't!

You know I'm not lying.

I've got my birth certificate.

Can you see the resemblance?

Where did you get this?

It's mine. I'm your twin.

Did she never tell you?

Could you not cope with both of us?

-Did you have to choose?

-That's enough.

It certainly is.

Mum?

He's an impostor. It's a fake.

-This is a con.

-I don't know what else I can say to prove I'm right.

-I'll get my birth certificate.

-What for?

I want to do a comparison. If they were issued on the same day...

How can I be more plain?

You are not a twin. He is not your brother.

-Now would you please just...

-Let's do it. I've nothing to hide.

I don't know where it is.

Probably in the sideboard with all the other papers.

No, it won't talk to the printer.

Maybe the printer should try bringing in some cupcakes.

Big help, you are.

It could be the cables.

Karen, look at this.

-KAREN GASPS

-Oh, that's lovely.

Perfect temperature in the Caribbean this time of year.

Are you tempted?

Well, I've got flu vaccinations and norovirus on one hand,

and on the other dancing in the surf.

Winter sunshine.

-Sex on the beach.

-Oh.

Followed by a burning sensation not caused by sunburn.

-Al!

-It's a cocktail.

Yeah, I know it's a cocktail.

And it's a week of doing absolutely nothing.

I thought you liked being all active.

No, it's not what I want from a holiday. Well, not this one, anyway.

Ooh. So, have you decided?

The more I think about it, yeah.

Then think about this.

You're still going to have to come back.

It's all going to be waiting for you.

All the vomiting patients and rubbish printers that don't print.

AL SIGHS

PRINTER BEEPS

The serial numbers are consecutive.

I'm the oldest.

I've got a little sister.

-You've got nothing, not here!

-Edwina.

It's a copy.

Of course it is. The parents keep the original.

Look, I just want to know my family.

Then go and look for them. I'm not your mother.

Don't let him wind you up.

Why won't you believe me?

'I don't know what he has to gain by it if he's lying.'

There is no ifs, no buts, nothing.

I just know he is.

-How?

-Gavin's dead!

That's how I know.

My Gavin died.

You should have checked the death certificates

when you were planning all this.

What happened, Ed?

Mum?

All you need to know is he's nothing to do with us.

You'd better leave.

No. Just go.

Is that really what you want?

I'll let you have a think.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS

Hi, it's me. Let me know if you're free for lunch, yeah?

I've been thinking about your idea and, yeah.

It was all too painful.

All these years.

Why me?

Why would someone go digging round in my affairs like that?

Yours and mine, because...

Because what?

Nothing. I'm overthinking things.

OK. For sanity's sake, what else is there to find?

I'd sooner hear it from you.

You know, there are some similarities, but...

-Oh, I don't know.

-What?

I'm not an expert.

Do we have to go on with this?

Mum, it's a big deal.

I had a brother and you never said.

When did he die?

A couple of weeks old. He was premature.

Prem?

That's why I never spoke of it.

So, I was premature?

But you always said how big I was?

Yeah, you told me that, as well.

No, you're mistaken.

No, I'm not.

Your little tub of love. That's what you always called me.

All you need to know

is you're my daughter, always have been.

Always will be.

Yeah, but Mum, if I wasn't premature, why was Gavin?

Mum?

ED SCREAMS

I paid for you, all right?

You don't have a twin brother.

I bought you from a drug addict.

"I have endeavoured in this Ghostly little book,

"to raise the Ghost of an Idea,

"which shall not put my readers out of humour with themselves,

"with each other, with the season,

"or with me."

I thought you'd given that up.

I thought you were my mother.

Don't.

Have you any idea what you've told me?

Who was she?

It was a long time ago.

It's hardly something you'd forget.

Surely you must have known her, Ed?

I mean, it wasn't somebody off the street, was it?

I helped deliver you.

She was always missing appointments, missing days, more like.

Didn't she want me?

She wanted to feed her habit more.

If you'd seen the squalor!

Weren't social services involved?

There was a caseworker, I think.

Overworked, not enough time for everyone.

Why did you do it?

I lost Gavin.

And your husband.

You told me you were widowed carrying?

A car accident.

That part was true, then.

I was facing two deaths. Alone.

So you got me to fill the gap?

Nothing so calculating or harsh.

I saw a chance of making something good to come from out of it all.

Your mother didn't give that for you.

You think it was mad, what I did? Perhaps.

What do you know about grief?

I fought mine while I worked damn hard at building a life for us.

Extreme trekking, cycling, paragliding, bungee jumping...

No.

Why not?

I thought you'd like to be adventurous.

Yeah, and sometimes you just want to chill.

I'm going to be coming back to one of the busiest times at work, so...

So will I.

So don't you want to be ready for it? Prepared? You know, recharged?

Babe, your idea of a good time could end up with one of us in hospital,

or worse, a morgue.

What about lying on a beach all day?

Come on, the only difference between that and actually being dead

is the body bag, isn't it?

I like to make the most of it when I'm away.

Yeah, me, too.

Which is why I like to do things 100mph.

Right.

We obviously want different things, then.

What are we, then?

What are we?

Maybe it means we're just not suited.

What?

Well, neither of us wants to compromise.

So that's it?

If we can't agree on what to do when we're together, what's the point?

Right.

Ayesha!

Why should I have had to live my life alone?

Why should I have just had to watch the stupid,

selfish behaviour of others and not be a mother myself?

It can't have been easy, being with all those babies at work.

You stood there and called him an impostor, but that's what I am.

You had a perfect childhood.

You wanted for nothing.

-Except the truth.

-Gabs.

Biology does not always make the best mum.

If I'd left you with your real mother,

you would have ended up in care when she overdosed.

And you gave her cash, knowing what she'd spend it on.

I didn't see it that way.

She didn't matter.

-Oh, Ed, that's...

-That's what, Ruhma?

How many times have we had to deal with care workers, police,

court orders? You've seen it, too.

No money changed hands in any case I got caught up in!

How much was I worth?

Much more than I gave for you.

Come on, it's getting cold. Let's go inside.

I gave you a mother's love you never would have seen.

And that's all there is to it.

Gabs, you're not going to solve this in a day, OK?

You both just need some time.

That was quick!

Change of plan.

It must have been bad if you didn't even get a free lunch out of him.

What is it with men not being able to admit that they're wrong?

Well, the same as women who can't admit they're wrong.

It's pig-headedness.

-What happened?

-Just him. Trying to lay down the law about this holiday.

Everything he wanted, end of.

Which was?

The opposite of me, basically.

He wanted to be all Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Well, different people have different ways of relaxing.

Yeah, well, he can do what he wants now cos he's going on his own.

Aww.

You dodged a bullet there.

Look, I know that the lowly man isn't supposed to have an opinion

-but I've got one. Would you like to hear it?

-No.

-Romantic getaways are a myth.

-What?

It's not a getaway. It's a stuck-together away.

Spending that amount of time with one person,

you are guaranteed to have a fight.

No, you're not. Don't listen to him.

You are going to be hung-over.

You're probably about to receive

the most horrific dose of Montezuma's revenge.

So when you're fighting, it's going to be through a closed bathroom door

as you go through the squitty-gritty of your failed relationship.

Is there any party you haven't pooped on lately?

Ayesha, go by yourself.

Lie by the pool yourself.

Avoid the seafood platters,

but just have a wonderful time.

Get completely wasted on sex on the beaches,

which are going to be brought to you by some charming waiter

who's probably going to want to have sex on the beach with you.

Oh, my...

While you're doing it, you can send PC Plod a little postcard saying,

"I am so delighted that you are not here. #sorrynotsorry."

You'll come back a completely changed woman.

Like I say, it's just an opinion.

Still here?

I know you think I haven't got a leg to stand on.

Who are you, really?

The tip of the iceberg, far as your friend's concerned.

I don't know how much she's admitted to.

We know that Gabby's not her real daughter. She told us.

-Did she now?

-Yeah, so you've got nothing to make on that bombshell.

I guarantee she's not told you the truth

and I'm not going anywhere until she speaks to me alone.

Right. Well, let's find out, shall we?

Trust me. Whatever she's said, she'll want to talk to me eventually.

Oh, I'm not calling her.

I don't care what you have to say, and neither will anyone else.

I seriously doubt that,

but if Gabby wants to know the name of her real mother...

Police, please.

-If you're a friend, you'll protect her.

-I will, from you.

I've had the best idea.

I know how we give Joe the recognition he deserves.

We put on our own Christmas play.

For charity, or something. Everyone will help.

It'll be a brilliant success, just like the panto we did.

-Hold on...

-We do A Christmas Carol.

You're not being serious.

And Joe will steal the whole show as Tiny Tim.

I can just see him with his little crutch when he says,

"God bless us, everyone."

-Oh, Daniel.

-Oh, boy.

The audience will just eat him up.

Yeah, but a play, sweetheart?

It needs so much time and commitment.

Not if we delegate to the right people.

Now, what shall I do? Produce? Direct?

And what about you?

-You called the police?

-Good.

You had no right.

Ed, he was hinting at blackmailing.

Over what?

You've just made things worse with your interfering.

What's got into you?

We should let the police deal with him.

But he'll tell them everything and then I'll...

You'll what? Have to let everyone know how you got me?

What'll they do, put me in care?

He reckoned he knew something about your real mum, Gab.

What did he say? What do you know?

Nothing. I shut him down, Ed. He's a liar.

What would he know that's so bad?

I just wanted him gone.

I want you to go, too.

Mum!

You've helped enough for one day.

This is a family matter.

Please, leave.

PHONE RINGS

Hi.

Hi. So, yeah...

..that all got a bit...

It did, didn't it?

That's not the kind of couple I want us to be.

None of us came out of it good.

I've been thinking.

Me, too.

Meet you halfway?

OK.

I've seen this holiday. Sailing round the Greek islands.

I could swim from beach to beach, you can watch from the deck.

In between cocktails?

And sunbathing.

And we won't be joined at the hip?

Not until the evening, anyway.

Love that idea best.

Me, too.

-I love...

-Eh?

Did you just say you love me?

What? No. No, I was saying I love the way you sorted all this.

Pretty sure you said you love me.

No, of course I didn't. It's way too early for all that.

That's a shame.

Cos I love you, too.

Look, I've got to go. I'll catch you later.

Ayesha.

And?

She said it first.

DOORBELL RINGS

Billy Harrow, as I live and breathe.

We thought we'd seen the last of you.

DI Addison.

Long time.

Not long enough. I'm looking for someone calling himself Gavin.

Mate of yours, by any chance?

Yeah, you've just missed him.

Funny, you fit the description.

Seems he's been trying to scare some old biddy out of her pension,

claiming to be her dead son.

Seems right up your street, Billy.

Didn't I nick you for something just like that?

Jackpot!

What now?

I have been looking up past productions

to see how they've done it on the stage and I found this.

It's an adaptation, especially suited to a young audience.

Great.

It's not perfect. There aren't enough scenes for Tiny Tim yet,

but he does have to sing a song, not too difficult.

Don't you think that's putting a little bit too much pressure on him?

I've already got that covered.

I'm going to play Mrs Cratchit.

That way I can on stage with him at all times.

Moral support.

-You?

-Yeah, why not?

No, no, no, I can see it.

Zara Carmichael, starring in a Zara Carmichael production

of Mrs Cratchit, the Musical.

It's not going to be like that.

What? So someone else might actually get a look-in?

I've already got you down for Marley's ghost, for a start.

-What?

-Can't you see it? It's going to be spectacular.

We're going to be stars.

Hold on. I thought you just said...

It's our chance to shine.

Can get the scumbag moment out of the way,

since we both know that's what you're thinking.

I'm a changed man.

You've got form and you know better not to waste my time.

I've got a story for you.

Tell me it's something more than you kicking a hornet's nest

hoping for gold to drop out.

Last time I was away, I shared a room with a forger.

Proper old school craftsman. Passports, driving licences.

Before it went all hi tech.

What's this to do with anything?

He told me about this job, years ago.

He never forgot cos it was unusual.

An inoffensive little woman

came to him wanting a birth certificate.

And?

Very specific on details, names, dates.

So I went looking for her and her daughter.

What do you think I found?

Cut to the chase.

Turns out, I reckon I've been doing your homework for you.

There's a bigger crime here.

Way bigger than you think.

You need to take a look in your records

for someone called Carlie Nichols.

But you'll have to go well back.

44 years.

And it's a shocker.

Worst thing a mother could ever do.

There you go. All settled.

You're a good girl, Carlie.

How many times? I'm Sharon.

Carlie's long gone.

Would you think that he is too young to be introduced to Dickens?

For two weeks every year, your prayers provide me with a beach,

-golf course access, all in sunny Marbella!

-OK.