16/06/2011 EastEnders

Looks like I'm not the only one who couldn't face going home.

Do you think she's dead?

Well, if she is, tell Nana Pat it wasn't me.

GASPS

-We're having an engagement party tomorrow!

-V... I'll sort it.

-We can't have an engagement party with half an arch and no ring.

-Babe, I just said we'll sort it.

I'll go this morning.

I'm booked in for a manicure.

When I pick you up after we'll go down the High Street.

I'm not getting engaged with some cheap ring off the High Street.

All right look, meet me at the Tube at one.

We'll go into town, and we'll get something nice. All right?

OK. Great.

So was I very rude?

You've been worse.

So, you, me, Tanya, Roxy, that bar you're always going on about...

Oh, babe, my birthday was yesterday.

Every queen should have two birthdays.

Right, well if I'm a queen then you're my lady in waiting!

Does no-one need any specs today?

Booked a couple of days off.

Can you believe, it's next week?

I hope you're not expecting me...

Denise was wondering how your Mehndi dance is coming on.

-Was she?

-I said she'd have to wait. And enjoy the surprise with me.

Oi, where's my kiss?

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Greg. It's Max.

That arch, mate. It needs to come down.

We're having a party.

I couldn't face coming back.

The flat just...

Well, it felt so empty.

-They could have broken in any time after...

-Mrs Malloy.

It's Miss.

I'm not here about the burglary.

I want him to have a good night,

but it sounds like it might be a bit...sleazy.

Oh, I love a bit of sleaze.

-He's slept with half the guys there.

-Hmm, romantic.

-I think he's worried I'll cramp his style.

-He shouldn't be giving it any style. He's married.

Well, as good as. Right, you, you sit in that chair,

I'm going to give you one of my special facials.

Tan, I've got clients.

Come on, you want him to be the only person there who's getting attention?

-Really, with this?

-Yeah.

Tanya.

-Would you like a...

-No. She's not staying.

-Are you old enough to be legal?

-Home. Rainie!

-I'm sorry for your loss.

-No you're not.

It's my duty to investigate.

-She was the last of my grandparents.

-What happened to the rest of them?

Oh, you know, I polished them off one by one.

You'll probably find a couple of heads in the freezer(!)

That's what we do round here when someone dies.

Unless... Unless, of course, you're a vicar

and then you bury them under a tree.

I didn't mean to upset you.

-Who called you?

-It's just a routine visit.

-Was it a whale with earrings?

-Like I said, it's routine.

-Tell you I interfered with the will, did she?

She told you that I told her that I wanted my grandma dead?

I'm not the sort of person to cast aspersions...

-Then don't.

-..but old lady suddenly turns up, old lady suddenly dies.

What happened to innocent til proven guilty?

Mercy ended up in court, and she didn't do nothing wrong.

Apart from overstaying her visa.

Yeah, well, they might be just asking questions in there, you know.

Yes, darling, they might.

On the other hand, they might just be going to a fancy dress party.

Oh, my days. She did it do it, man.

-Happy now?

-Smiling ear to ear.

Well, just make sure your baubles don't drop, you know.

They might crack the pavement.

Lydia was a poisonous, malicious old witch.

That don't mean she deserved to be murdered.

You were doing so well.

-You patronising cow.

-That's right, just throw it back at me, yeah, why don't you?

Cos I'm the one who makes you, I'm the one who pours you a drink.

Always about you, innit, eh? All my life.

You can say what you like to me, Rai. I'm not going anywhere.

Perfect little Tanya.

Well, if you're so perfect... And look at you.

Look at you, you are perfect.

Just go to bed, darling. Sleep it off, please.

How come your first hubby

goes and sleeps with his son's girlfriend?

And what about...?

What about lovely little thingy, Greg?

Is he playing away too?

Is he playing away?

DRILL WHIRS

RINGING DROWNED BY DRILL

MAX'S MOBILE RINGS

Greg, shh.

Hello?

You all right, babe?

Nah, nah. He's not with me.

Calm down.

-WHISPERS

-Vanessa.

Why don't you tell me what's wrong?

I miss you too.

You know I love you, don't you?

He's either a drug dealer,

-a rubbish superhero, Or he's having an affair.

-Mum!

No-one uses payphones these days.

Maybe he's got a secret boyfriend that he sees behind his wife's back. He is very well turned out.

I bet his nails are perfect. Your wife didn't know, did she, darling?

Perfect nails, well turned out, hair like a drag queen.

-People will talk, Vanessa.

-Only saying.

-Well, don't.

I've just got two more appointments.

-Then can I go home?

-Yeah. We'll be fine.

Get ready for my big night out. Check Christian's done his nails.

-Someone didn't get any last night.

-Mum!

Did you get the bubbles for the party?

Yeah. Love bubbles.

Max wanted Cava, but I said you can't get engaged with Cava.

Anyway, you've still got a hand to do. And I've got an appointment with a diamond.

MUSIC PLAYS

You skiving again?

Don't tell my gran.

Had one of these in the Emporium once.

They're murder to fix.

Could you help me?

Please?

Got, um, two left feet.

Well, actually, four... actually, eight...

-and then three of them are broken.

-Five feet are still good.

I thought marriage was meant to be fun.

No, the wedding is meant to be fun.

Marriage...is an assault course.

-You and Mum.

-It's just ups and downs.

-It's not just ups and downs, Dad.

All marriages are like this, Tam.

Dad, the Himalayas are ups and downs.

If I hadn't bought Yusef back, then...

All you did was fall in love with a beautiful, feisty girl.

You're not the first young man ever to do that.

-Dad, you tried to kill him!

-I did not try to kill him.

I saw the bruises and I smelt the petrol.

Then I'm glad you're not my lawyer.

Your father-in-law-to-be is a very clever man.

I did nothing wrong.

Why else would they take her away? I'm telling you, she killed her.

You shouldn't jump to conclusions.

-She was supposed to be caring for the old girl.

-Who you hated.

-Only cos she hated me.

-Why would Janine see her off?

-Tiff said they really got on.

-Money. With Janine it's always money.

Accusing someone of killing someone...

that's a big thing to put on anybody's shoulders.

Every time I give that girl the benefit of the doubt. Every time she proves me wrong.

Carol, do us two buns, please.

Take it from me, mud sticks in this world.

Not to her it don't.

So you have to be careful who you throw it at.

Nobody likes to be thought of as a killer.

So who's the second one for?

-Made a new friend, have you?

-Maybe.

You working all afternoon?

No, I'm just here cos I'm bored(!)

I'm Eddie.

Did I ask?

Sticking my nose in. Sorry.

You're right, I don't know her.

WHISTLES

She's working all afternoon.

Ker-ching!

The way you've grown up this past year, Tam, I'm very proud of you.

Destroying my family. Go, Tam, good work.

For standing up for what you want.

Standing up to your mum, Taking on this place,

-facing us down with Syed.

-I didn't mean to shame you.

I didn't say you were right.

It was very brave.

It's hardly walking into a fire for someone, is it Dad?

No. But I know you would, if you had to.

For your wife. For your family.

You've got courage, Tam.

Doing this little dance...

You with your eight feet.

-Five.

-Five, who's counting.

You're going to be fine.

You are supposed to be my buddy.

So call me back.

Rainie, give me the bottle, will you?

Give me 20 quid first.

I was meant to be going out tonight.

Well, go on. Don't worry about me. Never did before.

-Didn't you used to have hair once?

-Yeah. Give me the bottle.

-Is that what happens when you marry to her?

-I ain't playing your games.

I wonder if Greg'll start losing his next.

I thought you were doing all right?

So I slipped up. I'm not the first to go back on something people swore they'd never go back on.

-That's it. Enough, enough! Come here!

-Let me finish!

Go upstairs and sleep it off. Come here.

-You're so forceful.

-No-one's laughing, Rainie.

Come on. Bed.

That's what your brother said to me. He's very persuasive, Jack.

I can't deal with this.

But then you'd know all about that, won't you?

Which one was better? Jack or Max?

That's enough! Come on, upstairs.

Come on. Upstairs, sleep it off.

-All right, get off me.

-One foot in front of the other. Keep going.

-I messed it all up.

-No you didn't.

What if she gets sent back cos of what I said?

-Gents, you gonna go and see Tam?

-No, we were just going to chill at mine.

That wasn't a question.

He's a bit worried about his dance for the mehndi.

And you want some of Fatboy moves, huh?

Oh, oh. Oo-o-oh.

Come on.

Well, I think he'll appreciate your chips at least.

Do I have to wear a vest top?

Are you sure about this? Cos I tell you something, I'm not.

Course I'm sure.

Why don't we go somewhere else, eh?

-I've booked you a stripper now.

-I hope you haven't.

I'm just really worried you're going to hate it.

I'll just pretend it's a wildlife documentary.

You know, gays in their natural habitat.

Are you trying to wind me up?!

Come on, we never go anywhere like this together.

You never answered me.

About the vest.

So I'm thinking we do a little Bollywood mix and blend and that, you know.

Start off with a love story ting.

-And then, yeah, what we do...

-Watch the menus.

Sorry about that, bruv. But then we do like, the village girl thing, you know, like...

-I ain't doing that.

-Come on, man.

And then we stick in some sick slow-mo street style.

-We've got four days?

-Yeah.

And then we scratch it all together with a little bit of baseline.

And then we top it all off with the Slumdog train station, you know.

-Boo-yaka(!)

-Come on, man. Come on.

-I don't really look good in orange.

-Just your skin tone then?

I can't do backflips.

-You might not even be here.

-Jodie!

I mean I'm not being funny, but she can't really do anything

if she's in handcuffs and getting on a plane.

Mercy's staying. In the routine, in the country.

Still, she can't do backflips, can she?

Took ages to settle her down.

I should go and check on her.

Tanya. It's OK.

I just... I just want my sister back, you know.

I know, I know, I know...

You and me...

(No, Max.)

..we're like that, int we.

We're like Rainie.

Be as strong as you like and one day you know you're going to fall off the wagon.

Tan?

Where are you?

I just got your voicemail. I've been working at Max's.

Yeah. I rang Vanessa when you didn't answer.

-Vanessa?

-Yeah.

I thought she might be over at the house with you.

Old bleach for brains didn't want her precious arch interrupting.

So... an she was out.

She was out with Max, so.

Listen, couple of hours a day. We are gonna smash this!

-Couple of hours?

-One look at the Fats' routine

-and it'll be, "Afia, you are the weakest link, bye-bye."

-Will it?

-Yeah. Not that it's a competition. Or anything.

-That's what I heard.

No competition at all.

D'you want a drink?

Hey. Listen, about yesterday. You know, flipping out and that.

It's OK. You were stressed.

-You didn't come home.

-No, I crashed at Darren's.

Look, I'm sorry.

About everything, you know.

I just wish none of this had happened.

It's not like it's your fault.

Yeah, but I just want you to be able to stay, you know.

-This is way better than school.

-You're really quick, you know?

Took me months to figure out how these reels work.

So, tomorrow you'll be able to tell your teachers how to win a jackpot every time.

-What are you doing?

-I asked him.

Not got any friends your own age to play with?

I, er...

I bumped into him. Coming out of school.

-He's only giving me a hand.

-Always let a lady know what you're up to before you're up to it.

Trust me, it'll save you a whole lot of trouble.

I hope you scrub that table down when you're finished.

I'll scrub the table.

Scrub the worktop, scrub the floor.

I've not seen him as happy as this since his dad went away.

Well, it's not easy, is it?

When families are apart.

When you can't see the ones you love.

Tea?

First a pint, now a cup of tea. People'll talk.

What?!

Tell me at least one of these is persuadable.

Just the one?

Tanya says she's going to be another hour.

Good. Tell her not to rush.

Babe. You all right?

-Christian Clarke.

-Danny boy, come here! How you doing, you all right?

-You well?

-Yeah, good.

This is Sy.

-Lovely to meet you.

-And this is Roxy.

-Amazing.

-He's the one I've been telling you about.

Oh, yeah!

-Congratulations!

-Cheers.

-Rainie, she had a breakdown.

-And you couldn't even ring?

Could you even hear me over that? Rainie had a breakdown.

Can you hear me? She was going mental, smashing up the house.

And that's your problem, is it?

It was Tanya. She was terrified.

-Oh, poor Tanya.

-Greg was out getting filler.

-You want the house full of holes?

-You couldn't get there fast enough.

Three-year-old in the house...

-Oscar was at nursery.

-He weren't.

You want to go round Tanya's and check, do you?

Well, go on!

-I still don't get why Max didn't just come and get me.

-Rainie was...

-I was only across the road.

-She was out of control, Greg.

-Out of control? He still didn't come over?

-He wanted to come and get you but...

that would've meant leaving me on my own with her. I was scared.

I was terrified, Greg. I've never seen her like this.

-Like what?

-She just came at me.

-What do you mean, she came at you?

She just came at me! With a...kitchen knife.

I was stood outside that Tube station for 45 minutes, Max.

My ex-sister-in-law about to self-destruct

so sorry for not thinking of buying you diamonds(!)

V, the whole world don't revolve around you, you know.

-I didn't say it did.

-My life here...

is complicated. If you can't get your head round it...

Don't you want to marry me?

I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying this has got to stop.

All your little petty insecurities.

Don't you dare turn this round on me.

Me and Tanya, we've got kids.

We've got history... but that's all it is. History.

But if you can't deal with it.

I can deal with it.

She has got to go. It was only meant to be for a few days.

-Greg! She's my sister.

-If she can lose control like that...

She didn't really lose control, honestly.

She came at you with a kitchen knife!

I'm sorry, but she has got to go.

-You told them, didn't you?

-Don't know what you're on about.

You told them a pack of lies.

It wasn't lies, though. Was it?

You know what, I'm so glad that my dad's dead.

So that he didn't have to see what a cow his beloved Pat's become.

And you think he'd be proud of you?

Killing old ladies?

I didn't kill her!

Taking you away in that police car never happened?

You've just got it wrong. All right?

-You've got it wrong. I loved her. And I haven't killed her.

-Yeah, right.

Yeah, well...

Might have known she'd get you on side.

Tell you what she did, did she?

She didn't do anything.

I called them.

Me.

D'you know what babe, I don't like it here. Too many memories.

-I can't believe we haven't been here before.

-Come on,

-can't we go somewhere else?

-No! We're having fun.

-I'm not.

And Sy's probably hating it.

Syed is doing just fine.

He's trying hard for you.

-Hey, I've just been hearing all your secrets.

-He is lovely.

It's Christian's birthday.

Thought you were looking a bit older.

-Oi...

-It was yesterday.

It used to be his birthday every week. Anything so the old tart

could scam himself a drink.

How come you haven't brought him out before?

He don't like going out that much.

He's not doing the old "lock them up in a cellar" thing again, is he?

No...

You poisoned me!

You ripped my heart out. You threw it on the floor and you trampled all over it.

-I know what you're capable of.

-No, no. You know nothing about this.

-You stabbed yourself with a carving knife!

-I'm talking to Pat.

-You told me you wanted her dead.

-Not like that.

What sort of dead was it then?

The sort where you're in hospital and you can't breathe? That sort?

I bet you tried to change her will. Get your hands on her stuff.

I've been burgled. There is no stuff!

-Why did the police arrest you?

-They didn't.

They took me in for questioning.

Because they knew you killed her.

Come to think of it, all you ever talked about was money.

Well, maybe if I had a husband who had any...

-How to get it, how you'd spend it, and that's it.

-Fine. Maybe at first

I wanted her money. Maybe at first. But I loved her!

And I looked after her out of love!

-Love?

-The problem with that is, Janine, you ain't got a charitable bone in your body.

And since when did you become Mother Teresa(?)

You have no idea what love is.

You might have got away with what you did to me but you ain't getting away with this.

She was my granny...

you know, she was my mum's mum...

and that's the last link that I had to my mother

who loved me until someone drove her into an early grave.

I was just getting to know her.

She was getting to know me. And I loved her,

OK? And she died.

And that's what happens in life.

People...they die.

You don't want to push a woman like that too far.

Oi, watch it, beardy!

What's going on with all the beards? Since when were beards back anyway?

Did someone just wake up one day and go smooth is so last season?

-And what is with all the chest hair?

-Babe!

I love chest hair, I like running my fingers through it.

So what was all that about?

Getting a drink. Do you want one?

-I meant over there.

-I was talking to your friends.

That was way more than talking.

-He didn't have his tongue down his throat.

-Not yet, babe.

-Christian!

-I wasn't born yesterday. As you keep pointing out to me.

-You're being stupid.

-Yeah, stupid and last year's flavour apparently.

-I was only talking!

-Come on darling, we're going.

-Christian!

I don't want to live with Mum.

I want to live with you.

It won't be for long.

It was only one little mistake, Tanya.

What happened to "not going anywhere"?

It's not me. It's Greg.

So tell him!

It was one little mistake, Tanya.

I'm your sister.

I need you. Please?

I'm sorry.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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