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This is a bit early for you.
Just getting up or just going to bed?
-This is a surprise.
have a smell of these.
-My dad used to love it when the English strawberries came in,
he reckoned you could start calling it summer then.
-So what happened to Billy?
Must be drunk.
Come on, man. What happened to Billy?
-No notice, no warning. Just, "Here's a 100, and away you go".
-Take him to an industrial tribunal.
Me and Julie are saving up for a flat. What am I supposed to say to her now?
-Well, the sink's blocked.
Where's that plunger?
What are you doing in your jimjams, girl?
Can you just help me?
Why? What's happened?
It's my granny...
What's the matter with your gran?
-We're due in court in less than two hours!
-It's twenty minutes past eight.
You're joking! Erm...
Get up! We're going to be late!
-What were you doing asleep on the table?
-I need a shirt, I need a shower. I need my suit, oh, no!
What is it now?
-I put my suit in the dry-cleaners.
-Don't you have any other smart clothes?!
I'm going to have to borrow one, you know. Wait here, I'll be back!
A light and airy two-bedroomed apartment
set within this sought-after development.
-You are kidding, right?
-I like the look of it.
Sy, it's on the 15th floor!
The whole point of us moving was to put us in a better position to adopt.
-When did you bring this up?
-It was just a thought.
I thought we agreed that...
No. You agreed...
We agreed that we would look for a house with a garden, all right?
Bit of space, away from traffic.
-In the suburbs, with good local schools nearby?
-Yeah. Why not?
Because I'd rather die.
Open it up.
It's a wild night, apparently.
-Since when were you into drag queens?
-It's not my birthday.
-What's with the four tickets?
-Tanya and Roxy are coming too.
Roxy I get. But why Tanya?
I thought it might be nice to have someone to talk to whilst you and Roxy are off doing your thing.
I guess it was too much to ask for us to just go on our own, eh?
No, look, I'm sorry, all right?
Come on, let's eat. I'm starving.
I tell you what, I'm absolutely giving them away.
It's a pound a punnet, or three for a deuce, it's up to you.
-Three. I knew it would be, love. There you go, treacle. Enjoy.
-I'll see you after school.
Get your English strawberries here, big, red and juicy.
All right, Pat?
-Surplus to requirements.
-Pat, it's business.
-There's no room for sentiment.
-And what's with the "treacle"?
Are you turning into your dad?
What's up with Janine, eh?
I saw her walking round the Square in her dressing gown first thing this morning.
I gave up caring about Janine a long time ago.
Get your fresh English strawberries here!
They are so red, they are redder than a bishop's face in a brothel!
'Come have a little taster, come along and ask me.'
Why not let whatshisface have a go.
You clearly don't know him very well.
I'm going to have to call the emergency plumber.
Come on, Tanya, I've got two precious hours to myself...
Fine, fine! I'll be there in two minutes.
Michael not with you?
No, I haven't seen Michael all weekend.
Is he having one of his sulks? What's it about this time?
Same as it's always been about, I should imagine.
Huh! An emergency plumber who can't get here till this afternoon. What am I going to do?
-This is where I have to ask myself, "Am I a nice person?"
When I'm not dealing antiques, I can be a bit of a handyman.
But first, I need to hear the magic word.
What magic word?
Well, "please" would be a good start.
Oi! People of the caff, this is my last chance
and I need a suit and I need one now. Anybody?
It's just that me and Vanessa have got a little announcement to make.
What sort of announcement?
Well, don't get too carried away,
but yes, Max has asked and I've agreed.
Oh, wow. That's fantastic.
I don't believe it! Mum, I'm so happy for you!
Well, say something.
And there's something else, isn't there, Max?
You're never pregnant?
I'm giving up the fags.
Dad, that's brilliant!
Can I be bridesmaid? Please, please, please!
Everything else is sorted. You just take that down to the register office
-and they'll tell you what to do.
Is she going to be all right?
It's just that I don't think she should be left alone.
Can you please not talk about me as though I'm not here.
Is there anything else I could have done?
Your grandmother was a spirited lady, her body just gave out on her, I'm afraid.
If you need anything, you know where I am.
Oh, it's OK, I'm her stepmum.
I'll deal with this.
-When did it happen?
-Earlier this morning.
-I'll take over now.
Thanks very much.
Oh, right. Yeah, I'll...
How did it happen? Hmm?
I'd rather just be on my own if you don't mind.
now is not the time.
-When I bought this salon back, in good faith...
-It is a poxy hairdryer, Tanya.
-A poxy hair dryer costs me the best part of 100 quid...
-Do you want me to buy you a new one?
-If I sold you something that didn't work, what would you say?
-Have you checked the fuse?
-You've hauled me all the way down here and you haven't checked the fuse!
-Don't throw a hissy.
-We're going out tonight, remember?
-Yeah. The drag revue?
You, me, Christian, Syed...
Oh, hello, love. Shouldn't you be on your way to school?
Can I talk to you outside, please?
"Greet your guests over champagne
"as they enter the romantic setting of The Moot Hall.
"Walk down the aisle to the enchantment of madrigals
"played by minstrels in a genuine medieval minstrels' gallery..."
I don't know, darling. I'm not sure Max necessarily wants a big do.
Tell you what, we could make it a double wedding!
Like a BOGOF!
Think, Mum - you and Max, me and Darren, walking down the aisle.
-What ARE madrigals?
-Sorry, Jodie, I just need to grab that.
-Can I just show you something...
-Sorry, no. I ain't got time, I've got to get to work. See you later.
The locket. Where did it come from?
She left it to me.
You mean you've already seen the will?
You might want to take a look at it actually.
-Oh, don't bother, Pat. Granny told me all about it.
You and Dad.
-Her wanting to look after me. You stopping her.
-That's not true.
So you're calling her a liar?
All I'm saying is that it was a lot more complicated than you can ever imagine.
How soon was it after Mum died that you jumped into bed with Dad?
I don't know what she said to you,
but don't you ever run away with the idea that your father didn't care for you.
See now, I'm not talking about my father.
I'm talking about you.
You didn't care.
-I'm not having this conversation with you right now.
-Answer the question, Pat. How soon was it?
-We'll talk about it some other time.
-In the meantime, I get dumped with...Clare.
And you wonder why I turned out like I did?
You always did fight dirty, Janine.
I'm going to phone Ricky, cos I don't suppose you have.
MUTTERS: I got Billy to do it actually.
So, Lauren's just told me.
Oh. Yeah, well, I'm really happy about it, so...
Yeah, I bet you are.
You're so transparent, do you know, it's almost laughable.
Well, you did it, why shouldn't I?
Do you really think the kids aren't going to see through all this?
Do you ever stop to imagine the effect on them?
You're having another baby - you think the kids are going to be all right with that?
Do you know what else Lauren told me?
That you'd given up smoking.
And you wonder why they don't trust you.
-What are you doing here?
-Where have you been?
Don't tell me - you've moved in and my gear's in a bag.
I'm looking after Amy and she's playing in her room. I asked you a question!
-Don't mean I'm going to answer it.
-Roxy says she came back Friday night and you'd upped and left.
Where is she?
She wanted a couple of hours by herself. She's really upset.
Sorry to hear that, what a choker(!) I'm going to have a shower.
-Men! Even if we leave now and the traffic is good, we'll still be late.
-He was going to borrow a suit.
-How long does it take to borrow a suit?
-That's the cab.
I can't cope with this!
He says he's been held up and he's going to meet us there.
Why is he doing this to us? Today of all days!
Grandma, please. Not now.
We've got to go.
What do you say?
Sorry, I didn't quite catch that.
Say it again?
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
Right. I'll leave you to take care of this lot.
Maybe put it in the teapot, I don't suppose anyone'll notice.
Listen, I am grateful.
Thanks, you can go now.
Why haven't you been answering your phone?
-Is it any good?
-Why do you never answer a direct question?
What makes you think you can ask them?
Maybe you should read that.
Why? What's she said to you?
She's said everything.
WELL, SHE HAD NO RIGHT!
She had no damn right!
-Why? Because what went on with my mother is not up for discussion.
She knows that!
Hold on, she said that you'd had a row.
-She didn't mention anything about your mother!
Why? What happened?
Michael, what happened?
-Is that him?
Where is he?
We could be called any moment.
Here we go.
It's disgusting, but we need all the caffeine we can get.
I'm not sure I can even drink it, I'm that nervous.
Does he not realise the time?
I should have kept my solicitor on.
-Wicked, I thought I missed it, man.
I'm playing in the yard and I come in the back door...
and I knew something was up.
The house is dark.
Through the kitchen.
Down the hall.
I Look in the, erm...
I look in the utility room.
And I see her foot on the sofa, she's got her slippers on.
I just know.
What did you do?
I just sat there, and waited for my Dad to get back.
With this... Sat there with this.
I used to think,
I still think,
"What if I'd done something?" You know, called a neighbour.
Maybe she wasn't dead. Maybe...
Maybe I could've saved her.
Michael, come on, you were six years old.
-You can't possibly blame yourself.
-I don't blame me, I blame him.
He was never there for her.
My dad was exactly the same.
And I never, ever want to forgive him.
It's always easier to blame somebody else, isn't it?
That's what I do. I always blame everyone who ever hurt me, or let me down.
My dad, my mum, men.
But at the end of the day, they're not going to sort it out for you, are they?
There's only one person that can do that.
-FRONT DOOR OPENS
-Listen, I won't say anything if you don't want me to.
Rox, I'm sorry. All right?
-I'm really, really sorry.
She's in her room. She's playing with her doll's house. She's fine.
I'm going to go, OK? Leave you to it.
What are you thanking her for?
Don't touch me, please.
She travelled to the UK with her sister and parents in 2002
on a Nigerian passport
in order to visit her paternal grandmother.
Whilst here, some difficulties surfaced
in the marriage of Miss Olubumni's parents
which meant that when it was time to return to Nigeria,
she remained behind, in the care of her grandmother
who was able to place her in a school in Walford, East London.
So to be clear, Miss Olubumni was here,
for want of a better word, illegally?
Indeed. And this state of affairs might have remained unchallenged,
save for the fact that in the summer of last year,
Miss Olubumni returned to Nigeria,
intending, as I understand, to stay there?
However, she was to change her mind
and return to the UK on a six months visitor's visa
which expired last December.
When this fact was drawn to the attention of the UK Borders Agency,
a notice of directions for her removal was served on Miss Olubumni.
Shortly thereafter, she was to marry a Mr Arthur Chubb...
It's the Home Office's contention
that this marriage was one designed solely to circumvent the removal directions
and as such, should be disregarded when considering this case.
You have no-one representing you today, Mrs Chubb?
Can I say a few words on my wife's behalf, please?
I don't get to see my wife on Saturday nights.
Even before we was married, I didn't.
Which is rubbish,
because I'm a market trader and I work long hours, six days a week.
Saturday's are supposed to be special
and yet I don't see her.
Because every Saturday night,
Mercy goes on a soup run with her church
to feed and help the homeless.
She don't talk about it,
she don't make a fuss about it, she just gets on with it.
Which is so typical of the Mercy I know.
One of the reasons I love her so much.
So to say that she doesn't contribute to society is ridiculous.
OK? Mercy wants to become a teacher and once her A levels come through,
eventually she will be.
She is going to be a great teacher.
So if you send her back,
you're not just punishing Mercy,
you're not just punishing me, you're punishing all of us.
Let's say that she teaches 25 kids a year
and she works a minimum of 30 years.
That's 25 times 30 - that's 750 kids that'll benefit by her staying here.
Who gets to benefit if she goes?
The 750 children she might otherwise teach in Nigeria, I would imagine.
Please, all right? Please.
I've known this girl since she was nine years old.
She's the most loving, caring person that I know, all right?
And sir, you know the Human Rights Act better than I do,
so I can't argue with you on a point of law.
I'm just asking you, as a fellow human being,
just let her stay.
Just let her stay.
"My dearest June. Thank you so much for the photos of the baby.
"She looks a beautiful little child
"and I think Janine is a lovely name.
"I can see now what you mean when you say just looking at her
"gives you the courage to carry on..."
And she turns on me.
-Just like everything that's ever gone wrong in her life is my fault.
-That's typical, Janine, ain't it?
Completely forgetting that this time last week she wanted Lydia dead and buried.
How much was she worth?
Oh, that's another thing. The minute I mentioned the will, she changed the subject.
-Sorry, I'm late but I got a brilliant excuse. Guess what?
Mum and Max is only getting married. I'm so excited!
Is Kat and Alfie about? Only Mum's throwing an engagement party
-so she wonders if they'll flog her a case of champers on the cheap.
I'll give it six months.
-So what's all this?
-It's not me. Blame Jodie.
Babe, can you just tell her it's us getting married, not her?
I've tried to explain to her, darling, but you know what she's like.
-You know, last night...
-Last night was lovely.
-It was lovely and I want to keep it like that.
I want a wedding, babe, not a circus.
I feel exactly the same.
-I don't want any decisions being made that don't involve me, all right?
Only it might be a little bit late to do anything about this Friday...
the engagement party.
What I don't understand is
why couldn't he have told us there and then? Huh?
Why do we have to wait two weeks to hear?
-And why a letter?
-So he doesn't have to look you in the eyes when he tells you the bad news.
It's not going to be bad news. Not after the speech that Fats gave.
Will you stop saying that, all right?! I screwed up!
-You heard what that judge said - and I walked straight into it.
Stop with the whole nicey-nicey thing, it's doing my head in
"All marriages experience difficulties.
"There's no more difficult time than when you've just had a baby.
"What you call 'indifference'
"could just be tiredness on his part.
"It breaks my heart to think of you being unhappy, darling,
"especially when you're so ill.
"But I'm glad you find comfort in the baby.
"Now she really is the most delightful child.
"In so many ways, she reminds me of you..."
This morning, I saw her wandering around in her pyjamas.
It was odd, but I didn't read that much into it.
-There's a nasty smell around all this.
-Her nan just died.
What do you expect?
I think back to Barry.
I think back to that old Jewish geezer who dropped dead on their wedding day...
Why do you always think the worst of her, Pat?
Oh, come on! I've known Janine since she was four years old
and in my experience the worst is usually there or thereabouts.
Hello! Happy birthday!
-Hey! Like the outfit!
-Thanks. Well, I had to make the effort for the birthday boy, didn't I.
I've never been to a drag revue before. Quite excited.
-Well, you certainly look the part.
Everything all right?
-Christian's just feeling a little old.
How's the house-hunting going?
Hey! Here we are, girls and boys.
How are we doing?
-I'll open it later if that's all right.
-What are we all having?
-No, I'll get these.
-Same again, is it? What do you want, Roxy?
-Gin and tonic, please.
OK, what is she wearing?
-That's a lovely frock.
Christian's in a bit of a mood.
Sy, just leave it out, will you?
-Why? Because he's suddenly realised how old he is?
-I'm not laughing, Rox.
Come on, Christian, for goodness sake, stop taking yourself so seriously.
D'you know what? The truth is I'm just not in the mood. Let's do it another time.
-Sy, do you want ice in your orange?
What's wrong with him?
I think I owe you a drink.
It's not the blocked sink you have to worry about.
It's everything else that's blocked.
Actually, I'm just about done here.
-Some other time, yeah?
-Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I'll be damned.
-If it isn't the heiress.
-Come to spend your inheritance?
-I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm just surprised you didn't come dressed in black, wearing a veil.
I'll have a vodka and tonic, please.
What have you been saying to him?
-I don't need to say anything to him, he knows you. Just like I know you.
-Yes, and I know YOU.
So you didn't want Lydia dead this time last week?
I loved my gran more than you will ever understand,
Now I've heard it all!
Oh, you can put on that act as long as you like, young lady,
but you won't fool me.
Not with your track record.
I don't need to stand here and take lectures from you.
I think you killed her.
And you know something?
Everyone else round here thinks it an' all.
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