20/12/2016 EastEnders

You know each chain is supposed to represent a dodgy business deal

Jacob Marley did in real life?

Why do you think Dad bottled it?

I'm far too busy to be messing around on stage.

Too scared you'll be pelted with rotten veg, more like.

Right, well, that should hold it, at least for the technical rehearsal.

I'll run it under the machine when I get a bit more time.

There you go, Mum, this one's for you - it looks official,

like it's from a solicitors.

-So much for the father-daughter chat.

-Thanks.

Talk about moody.

It's probably just girl stuff. Leave her to me.

All right. See you later, yeah.

See you later.

Bex, it's for you.

It's the Christmas present I got Shaks.

Oh, I take it you two have had a row?

He, um...

He dumped me, Stacey.

And he didn't even have the guts to tell me face-to-face,

he just changed his status to "single".

Online?

In front of everybody.

I even got a sad face from Dennis Rickman.

I just wish I could disappear.

Come on.

Sign Michelle, Mark and Tim's card, everyone, please.

Probably won't get there till Easter but better late than never, eh?

-Louise?

-I'm busy.

-Denny?

-You want me to help with your lines for tonight?

Are you deaf or what?

Donna, it's Roxy. Yeah, look, I'm sorry to leave you in the lurch.

I'll sign for you, Phil.

I've got a taxi booked.

What?

Tony's going to go along and check West Ham's new ground out.

I said I'd go along.

-On your own?

-I won't be on my own, will I?

I need to get out.

We've got a visit from the social services today.

We talked about this. Jay's staying.

I don't want to cause any more hassle.

I'll deal with this, Jay. You just sign the card, yeah.

Ben. Ben.

You'd better put your football shirt on.

I'm pushing the boat out a bit here, Abi, but my clients,

they'll expect a bit of an occasion after 55 years.

You know, they appreciate the effort.

Grandma...

It's like the same with Christmas, you know, it's the way you put

things together, you know, that makes it worth the eating. What?

Um, about Christmas.

Um, Mum wants me to go down to Exeter.

Oh. Oh, I see.

Well, I rather thought she would.

Well, we want you to come, too.

I mean, we can catch the train down after your retirement do?

Oh, no, I don't think so, thank you.

I can't be bothered with trains.

Anyway, I've got plans of me own.

Have you?

Well, you didn't think I'd be slaving over

a hot stove the day after me retirement, did you?

Right. See ya.

I found a list of clubs to visit, see which ones offer the best deal,

and I'll just sort it cash in hand cos there's no other way this time of year.

You can't take another day off work.

I'm sick, aren't I? Anyway, look, my sister's hen

is worth one little white lie, isn't it?

Look, don't do anything too fancy. We've got a lot on with the move.

Yeah, all the more reason for a big blow out.

I mean, this is your last Christmas in this place.

Don't you mean OUR last Christmas?

No, count me out.

We'll start as we mean to go on.

Rox.

You're still family - what's Amy going to think?

She won't even notice as long as Santa's been.

Anyway, there'll be a present from me under the tree.

She's right, Ron.

It should just be the kids and us this year.

I don't know.

Christmas without Amy...

If that's what she needs to do to get through it.

He's out there on the stall with Kush. I just blanked him.

-What if he comes in?

-He wouldn't dare.

I just can't believe I gotta snog him on stage. Urgh.

-What have you...?

-Bex, go and get yourself a blue plaster,

and YOU come back when her shift is over.

Mum, what time do you want me to take the costumes to St Cuthbert's?

Oh, the ones at the house, 4.30 at the latest.

I had to drop Mick's off at the Vic so Linda can force him to try it on.

Actually, Ben, listen, I'm glad you came in.

I wanted to tell you before you found out from Ian.

The deed poll arrived.

It's official -

I'm Kathy Beale again.

Look, you're all right about this, ain't you?

We've been through all this, it's what you want, innit?

You'll always be my son, it doesn't matter what I call...

It's all good, Mum. Whatever.

I'll see you at four.

I thought it might've been that little toe-rag.

I tried to speak to her but she wouldn't tell me.

She doesn't want you kicking off.

To be honest with you, I'm relieved. Better now.

Least we know what he was after.

Yeah, um, the thing is, Martin...

She's going to absolutely love that. Merry Christmas.

Oh, man.

-Come here!

-Martin! Martin!

Come here!

You're a big man now, are you?! Come here and face me like a man!

-Martin, leave him!

-What the flaming heck's going on?

This little scumbag used my daughter for sex,

and then he just drops her like a piece of dirt!

What is wrong with you, Martin?

She's right. You're acting like a nut job, not a father.

I ain't going to take parenting advice off you, am I?

Stacey, watch the stall.

You should've seen him, Sharon, he was actually walking, he really was.

I couldn't believe it.

That's wonderful, Linda, I'm so pleased for you.

It's going to be the best Christmas ever.

Oh, Sharon, I'm sorry, it was a stupid thing to say to you.

Don't be daft. It is going to be the best Christmas ever.

I'll make sure of it.

So you're all going to Whitney's and Lee's, are you?

That's the theory, though how they'll do a turkey dinner in a kitchen that size, I don't know.

-That's true.

-I'm not giving it the big 'un, L,

but I think these strides are a little bit tight, don't you?

Sharon.

So, the rumours are true then?

Sharon, stop it!

A vulnerable 16-year-old girl.

I feel for Bex, obviously, and if Shaki was disrespectful...

-If!

-Just back off, mate.

They're teenagers, Martin, they're contrary. What can you do?

You can bring 'em up to know right from wrong.

At least I'm here. Where's Bex's mum?

Where's Shakil's dad then?

OK, this is going nowhere. It doesn't justify you

squaring up to my kid brother, all right - that is assault.

And we will call the police if we have to.

Right.

I will thump Shaki myself, so help me.

I just hope he had the good sense to use protection.

Well, he had some.

You knew they were at it, and you never said?

I will talk to him, Mum, all right. Just leave it with me.

Better be off.

Call it a fiver.

All right, see you later.

Don't you ever, ever do that again!

-What, defend my daughter?

-No, land me in it with Bex so you can bang

your chest like some big ape.

I'm angry with Shaki an' all,

but humiliating Bex in front of the whole market?

Martin, that is just plain cruel.

Go on, go and sort it out with her.

Bex, sweetheart.

Go...away.

And tell Stacey, "Thanks".

Thank you for ruining my life.

Stacey was just worried about you.

She was concerned and so am I.

I just...

dealt with it badly.

If you two cared about me,

you would not go telling the whole world my private life.

I will never forgive you.

Martin.

Look, why don't you just give her some space to cool down, eh?

Go on.

Bex.

Sometimes parents get it wrong.

I should know.

But whatever your dad did,

he did it because he loves you and you are his number one.

Yeah, right.

Yeah. Right.

Dads have been kicking off about their daughters' boyfriends

since the dawn of time.

That's their job.

Just ask Romeo and Juliet.

And look what happened to them.

OK. Bad example.

But trust me, Bex, you've got unconditional love from your family.

The simplest thing for all involved is for Jay to move out.

The alternative is re-housing Louise herself.

I'm not leaving, and nor is Jay.

I'm just trying to find the best solution for everyone.

You ready to go?

Yeah, take Denny to the church hall, will you? Cheers.

We have to put the needs of your step-daughter first.

But we trust Jay, and so should you, you've known him nearly as long.

I do know Jay, and I sympathise.

But he is on the register, and now he's sleeping just doors away

from a 15-year-old girl, under the supervision of an alcoholic

with a history of violence, whose wife seems more interested

in protecting a sex-offender than his potential victim.

Don't put it like that.

There is no other way to put it, Sharon.

So let me make it very clear - unless you and Mr Mitchell

take appropriate action, we will.

So 9th of Jan, we get the keys - Ongar here we come!

Your estate agent's lively. We'll miss you, and the little 'uns.

No, no, come on, we'll be back all the time to see Roxy.

Assuming she stays.

Right, come on, Laurence Olivier, Johnny'll kill you if you're late.

-Good. He'd be doing me a favour. See you later.

-See you later.

Who knows what Roxy'll do when we move.

It's not our decision, Ron.

I just want to make sure she's OK.

I know.

You changed your status?!

I thought she was going to break up with me.

Oh, that's suave, mate. Class.

She just seemed so annoyed. Kept wanting to talk.

If you don't know how to talk to each other,

-how do you expect to have an adult relationship?

-Bruv...

You think you feel bad now? Try and imagine how Bex is feeling.

You dumped her online, no explanation.

That is low.

I'm going to be late.

Oh, it's exactly the way I imagined it.

Oh, Denise, I've got goose bumps!

Oh, and you will thank Kush, won't you,

for stepping in at the last minute?

He's only got to point, thankfully, but still.

Oh, Lil, look at the snow!

Thank you, Johnny.

How are we supposed to have a technical rehearsal

without the flaming technicians?

I'm so sorry, Derek, it just slipped my mind.

Mum.

That's the costumes all in.

Johnny wants me to repaint Fezziwig's fireplace.

Johnny seems to have a lot of odd jobs for you today.

Funny that.

No, it ain't, he's short staffed.

-I was only saying...

-I know what you were saying,

and Paul's only been gone a few months, so have some respect.

Kathy.

Kathy! Erm, you're needed out the back.

-All right?

-Yeah.

Yeah, she's giving me the body-swerve 'n all.

I'm sorry. I'm an idiot.

Well, it's not just me and Bex you need to apologise to, Martin.

Over my dead body.

Check you out, Scrooge.

Wow! I actually feel like the man.

I'm all right now, but when I go on stage and the lights go down...

If they go down.

Been a bit of a rick with personnel, down to Johnny, to be fair.

Right, here you go. Try 'em now.

Oh, Mick, I've had two sons and three husbands. I've seen it all before.

Yeah, all right. Thank you.

Lovely, lovely.

Right.

I love this.

Yeah, well, just make sure that this doesn't get stuck in the motor.

Will you give us a minute, Louise?

Sure.

Bex, I'm sorry.

I don't want to talk about it.

Maybe you should give your mum a call?

All I want is for everyone to just stop banging on about it.

Girls, girls, check this out...

I slipped.

As if.

My crutch!

-It will be.

-He was watching us undress!

-You better be kidding me.

-Shame on you, Dennis!

-Oh, leave him.

-He's a Peeping Tom!

If you don't sack him, we're walking!

Spare me from working with teenage girls.

-Now wait just a minute...

-That's not very nice, Derek.

Ever heard of "victim blaming"?

He's all right, you know, just young, ain't he?

Just natural curiosity, eh?

Would you be saying that if it was your daughter?

For goodness' sake, we're due to start in five.

Come on, guys, places, please.

-What, he just gets to get away with it?

-Please, please, please.

Let's not ruin things with a storm in a teacup now, man.

I mean, we've all worked too hard for this.

Dennis.

Your mother will be informed, and I am giving you a formal warning.

And you can apologise to the girls.

It was an accident.

I'm sorry, all right.

Right. Right, places, boys and girls.

You got anything else to say, you have to go through me.

Shaki. Come here.

Have you any idea the position you've put me in with the Fowlers?

Yeah, I think I get the picture.

Jay, call me when you get this.

Hey.

You look done in.

Was it a good day at any rate?

Yeah.

Well, tell me all about it when you've had a good rest, yeah.

Just come to pick up my drill. The gravestone's a bit skew-whiff.

Oh, and heads up, Dennis has been perving at the girls.

Yellow card.

It's what normal boys do, ain't it?

Normal boys?

-Normal?!

-Ben...

Can't you see when he's had enough?

It's not all about you.

-SHARON:

-Jay, call me when you get this.

MUSIC STARTS SUDDENLY

Sorry, slip of the wrist.

Fezziwig partygoers?

Partygoers! Come on, cast.

Couple of minutes, it's a quick change.

It won't do on the night.

OK, while we wait, let's check lighting for the kiss.

Young Scrooge and Belle, hit your mark.

MUSIC STARTS SUDDENLY

Sorry!

Oh, thanks, love.

Listen, about what I said earlier.

I know how much you miss Paul...

No, Mum, I overreacted.

Look, how about I buy you a drink in the Vic after this, clear the air?

Yeah. I'll see you over there.

And cue the kiss.

I hope you snog better than you do it,

cos by all accounts you're a massive fail.

MUSIC STARTS SUDDENLY

Sorry!

Yeah, there wasn't really much in it,

the club in Shoreditch had a cancellation

but they throw in a floor show, so...

Roxy, have you been drinking?

I might have sampled a few cocktails as part of my research, why not?

Oh, ooh, Amy's Christmas presents.

She asked for this doll.

She asked Santa for it so I thought I'd...

Why don't you want to come round on Christmas morning

and watch her open it?

Nah, you're all right.

I'll be sleeping off a hangover, anyway.

Well, what about the afternoon then?

No, I best not.

Roxy.

If you don't want to go through with this adoption,

then I won't do it. Not if you're not happy.

I owe it to Amy.

Happy?

I'm working on it.

I will get there in the end if you just let me.

Rox.

Santa doesn't come until Christmas Eve.

Oh. Yeah.

DOOR OPENS

Hey, here's trouble.

Hey Amy, are you looking forward to Santa?

Listen, because you're such a lucky girl,

you're going to get an extra present in the afternoon.

I love you.

Bye.

Bye.

Everything OK?

Yeah, it will be.

Who's for fish fingers?

Yay!

Eggnog?

Thank you, yeah.

So we simplify the costume changes, cut down

on the number of partygoers, keep the snow until the first night

otherwise we're going to run out,

and under no circumstances do we let your mother near the music.

She was only trying to help.

I know. Oh, and last but not least,

make sure we've got a technical crew.

Man, I tell you, I can still feel the adrenaline, you know.

Yeah, and that's without an audience.

Sounds like it was a triumph.

Yeah, apart from the missing crew.

-And the Peeping Tom.

-And the angry director.

Erm, Carmel.

About this morning, I just wanted to say...

Yeah? That you were bang out of order and you're sorry?

Well, I wouldn't put it quite...

Yeah, yeah.

Well, if you must know, I'm ashamed of Shaki.

-I raised him better, and I'll be having a word.

-OK.

Maybe I should go straight back and have it out with him now.

Give him some space, Mum, all right.

I'm only staying here for one - I'll look in on him on my way home.

Wake me up when Bex is 25.

You were a teenager once, remember?

Considering what I got up to as a teenager, doesn't really fill me full of confidence.

Well, Bex is a smart cookie.

So long as she's got parents she can talk to, she'll be all right.

-Bruv.

-Cheers, mate.

-Stace.

-Oh, thanks.

Right, everyone raise your glasses - I've got a toast to make.

To my mum, Kathy Beale.

ALL: Kathy Beale.

Look at that, Gran can rest easily in her grave now.

Well, when me and Pete first got together,

I thought she was going to eat me alive.

Gran was a pussycat.

She could be a battle-axe if she wanted to be, take it from me.

That's where Pauline got it from, I suppose.

You calling my mum a battle-axe?

I'm just glad she was on my side.

-I wish I'd met Lou.

-Me too.

You did. All right, you were just too young to remember it,

but I tell you, you were the apple of her eye.

All us Beale boys were.

Well, I'm a Fowler.

Try telling Lou that.

She gave poor old Arthur a hard time, didn't she?

To the Beales and the Fowlers.

And...

the Mitchells.

-ALL:

-To the Beales, the Fowlers and the Mitchells.

Hey.

Where is everyone?

Phil's asleep. Denny's been sent to bed

for bad behaviour. Rox has gone AWOL, Louise is with Bex,

and Ben, well, who knows?

Been a bit of a long day.

Sharon, I'm going to make life easier for you.

I'm going to move in to a hostel, first thing.

You listen to me, Jay.

Social Services have got their priorities, and I've got mine.

Now this could be Phil's last Christmas and I want all

his family around him, OK.

Yeah?

Hey.

Come on.

Yeah, Ibiza-themed cocktails, tapas, male strippers.

Well, make it equal opportunity strippers, and I'll come.

Yeah, all right. It's Ronnie's last chance to cut loose.

She's going to thank me, you know.

-Feeling better, Rox?

-Yeah!

Yeah, thankfully.

Good. Cos you're going to need all your energy to find another job.

Listen, you bought the last round.

I don't mind, you've all got things to talk about.

I'm going to head off after this one anyway.

Ben, son, there's something I want to ask you.

Thought so.

I was just curious what he wanted.

Doesn't matter what he wanted, he's not getting it.

Which is why I'm deleting him from your contacts

and un-friending him on everything.

Did you talk to her?

I apologised, but Bex ain't interested.

It's over.

Probably for the best.

At least you did the right thing in the end, mate.

Hey, it'll get easier.

I'll stick the kettle on, yeah.

-SHARON:

-He just seemed so broken tonight.

What if he gives up hope?

-JAY:

-We won't let him.

I'll stay, I promise.

We'll deal with everything after the holidays, yeah.

But this Christmas, it has to be perfect for Phil's sake.

And it will be.

Thanks.

Well, enjoy yourselves without me.

Mum's asked me to Ian's for Christmas. I said yes.

Ben!

This family don't need me.