Rock 'n' Roll Confidential On the Air

-Morning, Gerry.

-How are you today? Are you in England?

-I'm flying home right now.

-Well, you know, at the moment?

There's a taxi waiting for me right now.

HORN BEEPS

And my flight is shortly after 12 o'clock.

It will be undoubtedly delayed.

And on Friday I had this experience that I would like to share with you.

Oh, that's nice.

-And this is what happened. I was sitting on the Flybe flight.

-Yes.

And I was squeezed against the window, and the plane was full.

And I was lucky, cos the seat beside me was empty.

And I thought, happy days, this is brilliant!

Get the legs stretched out at last!

Onto the plane, and my seat was the only one that was then empty,

-onto the plane walked the last passenger.

-Very big man, was he?

He had to be about ten stone heavier than me.

HE LAUGHS

And I thought, oh, please, no! This is like a sitcom.

And he squeezed into this seat,

and all I can describe it as is bum-on-bum.

And his thigh pressed against mine!

And, Gerry, I was traumatised for the whole flight!

HE BURPS

And just I...I was sweating when I got out of this,

but this man's flesh pressed against mine!

I'll let you go. Good morning!

HE PLAYS GUITAR

I touched a Beatle on the elbow.

-A real Beatle?

-Yeah.

-Which one was it?

-George.

-George Harrison, you touched him!

-This is the sort of thing that'll make the people celebrate...

-I forgot all about that.

-I know.

And you take it off from here.

And he said to me, he says, "Excuse me", he says, "Where's such-and-such road?"

-You see? And I...I really...

-Did you know who it was?

When he started to speak I realised, this is...this is George Harrison!

-Yes.

-So I walked over to him. And I touched him on the elbow.

I didn't realise, I said, "Look, over there!" And I made up these directions.

-So you sent him the wrong...

-I didn't know where it was...

You sent him the wrong way. And you said, "Up there and turn left and..."

"Turn left and keep on going, and you'll see the signs then

for the M56 or whatever, and he says, "Right...

-"Ta, mate," or summat.

-You sent him down The Long And Winding Road.

I did!

BOTH: Ha-ha-ha!

I bet that was the inspiration for the song!

It's Nowhere Man, that's where he was going!

But I decided that I would never wash my finger again.

Well, by the look of it, I don't think you ever have.

BOTH: Ha-ha-ha!

I'm going to tell a story now, it's a pretty short story.

No! Who cares?

-Would you shut up! Do I have to turn you off?

-OK, go on.

I'm going to tell the story and let the listeners be the judge

as to whether or not this happened to me or not.

I walked into a certain place.

Not, I might add, in Derry/Londonderry,

and in comes Phil Lynott.

And you want to have seen him - he looked like a Greek God.

And the whole place just stopped.

And everybody just idolised him, and he came up to the bar,

and he went, "Give us a pint of Steelhead".

And the pints started to appear by magic, and he stood there

and everybody was around him, saying, "Oh, Phil, great, what time you up?"

So he was the hero of the hour.

And everybody kept buying him drink, and the drink came flying up.

But I was standing watching this, and I said, "Phil, I'm so happy for you, you've made it.

"Maybe someday we'll make it and we'll be like you."

And then, as time went on, the night went on,

and these women were all hanging round him.

I was trying to get with the ones that fell off him, trying to get them.

And then I got fed up, so I just decide to go home,

but on my way home I decided to go into the toilet for a jimmy riddle, you know.

-So I'm standing there, you know what it's like when you're standing there.

-Oh...

I'm just trying to paint the picture!

-More information than we need.

-Paint the picture.

-OK.

And I looked around, and there was Phil Lynott standing beside me.

And he went, "How are you, Gerry?"

I said, "I'm all right, Phil".

He said, "Could you do me a favour?" I says, "What?"

He said, "Lend us a tenner, will you?"

I says, "What?" He said, "Lend us a tenner."

I said, "What do you mean, lend you a tenner?" He says, "I'm busted. I'm broke."

He said, "There's nothing worse than people thinking you have money when you have none."

So there you are, I gave him a tenner, he went out and bought a drink.

He had no money. So there he had stardom, adulation, fame, no money.

And I suddenly said to myself,

that's what show business is about.

It's all about appearance.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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