Episode 8 All Over the Place

If you want to know why I'm running down the middle of the highway,

in the middle of the Australian outback,

pulling a cart with him in it, keep watching!

Argh!

Everybody wave to Johny, cos we are off on our Aussie adventure.

With Naomi...

and her moustache?

Iain...

I-I rocked it!

Johny...

Susan...

Don't worry about the toilet -

we're just going to replace it.

Michelle...

and Cel.

No likey, no liddy.

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do down under that is totally ace

-# And it turns up...

-# ..all over the place! #

First off, Mount Tamborine.

A high point in Queensland,

even though Australia is the flattest continent on the planet.

Nothing quite like this, is there, Iain?

Standing out in the wilds of the rainforest, that warm, moist air.

That distinct smell.

-PFFRT!

-Eurgh...

-Agh!

-Sorry, that was me.

I'm very nervous about the whole rainforest thing.

-Why do I present telly with you?

-THUNDER AND RAIN

-Ed, quick question.

-Yeah?

-How come you're not getting rained on?

Oh, I think it's something to do with Mother Nature punishing you

for making that disgusting smell

in this enchanting, beautiful rainforest.

Well, it's not, though, Ed. Cos this is a cheap cloud graphic.

POP!

That is a member of crew... Who I'm having a word with later, mate!

..pouring water over me with a watering can.

Come on, Iain.

Stop being so wet.

Revenge is sweet, mate.

Iain, you did deserve it.

I smelt that one here in the voiceover booth.

Ed and Iain are here in the Tamborine Rainforest,

which surrounds Tamborine Mountain in a place called Tamborine.

The mountain is 560m high, which is...

It's estimated that a Australia

is covered by a massive 4.2 million hectares of rainforest,

which is over double the size of Wales.

The Tamborine Rainforest contains this - the canopy walk,

which is the longest treetop canopy walk in South East Queensland.

-You dried off quick.

-Yeah, I done my hair, and everything.

You look pretty!

Ed and Iain, you have 30 seconds to find out as much as you can

about the rainforest canopy walk.

Ed, you've got Nick, who knows about the structure.

Iain, you've got Justin, who knows about the wildlife.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

Three, two, one, go!

-When was the Skywalk built?

-2009.

-What's the most dangerous animal you have?

-That we have here?

-Yeah.

-Probably a brown snake.

-A brown snake?

Howe much forest is there, how much rainforest?

Here we've got about 35 acres of rainforest, privately owned.

Do you have duck-billed platypus?

-We do, yeah.

-Yeah?

How many visitors do you get a year?

We get around 150,000 through the property here.

-You ever been bitten by a duck-billed platypus?

-No.

-Do people hug the trees?

-A lot do.

-Do they?!

-Yeah!

Do you like working here? KLAXON

Oh, time up! We'll never know if Justin likes working here,

but Justin, I like you, and that's all that matters.

And the person who found out the most facts is...

Ed.

-Argh!

-Yes!

Oh-ho-ho! What's the prize? What's the prize?

-A picture of me.

-Oh.

Oh, what was the point of that, then?

This is Thunderbird Park, also on Tamborine Mountain,

and it has the largest deposit of thundereggs in the world.

Yes, you heard me correctly, "thundereggs".

And the boys are digging for them. Nice to see them doing some work.

Thundereggs are ancient volcanic rocks

which are formed over millions of years,

and have nothing to do with actual eggs.

-Got loads of thundereggs, mate.

-Got more than you, mate.

Hey, guys, how did you go?

Gary, I've nailed it.

-I-I rocked it!

-You rocked it.

-Yeah.

That's the biggest bucket of rocks I've ever carried around.

To open the eggs, Gary slices them in half with a diamond saw.

He's an expert, remember, so don't try this at home.

So, Gary, what we're about to see in here

-was trapped in there before the dinosaurs.

-Yes.

200 million years in the making, folks.

All the minerals have leached in,

the heat and pressure's cooked it for 200 million years.

Incredible.

-Amazing, aren't they?

-They're great, man.

I love these things.

Although I don't think they should call them thundereggs.

-Why's that?

-It's a bit dangerous.

What if someone tried to cook and eat them?

-It's a health and safety nightmare.

-That would never happen.

Unless...

Hello, and welcome to Poorly Researched Cooking.

Unfortunately, my co-host, Tamara, can't be with us today,

cos it turns out those red berries that Tim put in his crumble

-WERE poisonous after all.

-Get well soon.

And don't worry about the toilet - we're just going to replace it.

On today's show, to avoid any further...incidents,

Tim's promised that we're just going to cook eggs.

-But not just any old eggs.

-Oh, no.

We're cooking with thundereggs.

I'm sure they taste better than they sound.

-Yum, yum!

-Or perhaps not.

-Where did you get this, in a shop or something?

-No.

I found them next to the dirt and animal droppings on the forest floor.

I can hardly wait.

TIM CHUCKLES So, to make a thunderegg omelette,

you just crack the egg against the side of a bowl...

Or use the blunt edge of a knife.

Or, or perhaps...just the side of a work top, so...

Maybe you should give us a minute.

Well, the good news is that Tim's finally managed

to get his thunderegg open. So, Tim, what was inside?

Well, what do you expect is inside an egg?

Er, the protein-packed base of a delicious omelette?

Not even close.

It turns out that thundereggs were created millions of years ago

when a gas bubble got trapped in cooling lava.

Water trickling over the rock slowly deposited minerals inside,

-creating its colourful and hard centre.

-Of course.

You can't make an omelette out of solid rock.

Not in the time we have available, Michael.

So, luckily, here's one I created earlier.

Tuck in, mate.

Join us tomorrow, when Michael will find out...

MICHAEL CHOKES

..which one of my steak recipes is chewier, this one...

-or this one.

-Mm, no.

Can't wait, mate.

-Crumble?

-Oh, lovely!

Don't mind if I do.

So this is a tea shop, right?

Mm, not exactly. But Maurice will tell you more.

-Oh, hello, Maurice.

-Hi.

Pleased to meet you.

-You, too.

-There we go.

Well, welcome to Bygone Beauties.

This is an antique emporium and tea room,

and we house the world's largest private collection of teapots.

Tea isn't from the UK or Australia - it's from China...

Tea lovers were said to drink straight from the spout.

Don't let Maurice catch you doing that, boys!

The British public do love a cuppa - almost as much as Ed.

In fact...

Time to get the kettle on -

my favourite tea-based game show's about to start.

Welcome to...

With your host...

Barry MacManamanamanamus!

Now, I've got ten potty ladies,

all waiting for that one thirsty lad.

If they don't like what they see,

all they have to simply do

is take off that lid.

No likey, no liddy.

Let's meet our first tea lover!

Wahey!

Ladies, I give you Ed Petrie from Birmingham!

-I'm from Rustington.

-Near Birmingham.

-No.

-Ed Petrie from Birmingham.

Now, tell me, Ed - do you fancy a brew?

-Yes.

-No can do!

Until you've played Take Me Spout. Let's begin.

Tell the ladies, what are you after today?

Well, I'm looking for a sophisticated older teapot,

preferably older than me, and made of fine bone china.

So an older lady with a bit of class.

-Yes, Barry.

-Oh, dear.

I can see some of our potty ladies have already removed their lids.

Ahh.

This lovely owl design from 1958 -

fine china from Fitz and Floyd.

Tell me, what didn't you like?

-HOOTS:

-You!

I can tell you, she won't be keeping YOUR tea cosy tonight!

CANNED LAUGHTER

Now, carry on

and let the tea see the bag.

Right, well, I'm looking for someone - sorry, someTHING -

really big, that can hold four cups of tea and keep it piping hot.

Right.

Well, Mr Petrie, I can tell you...

You've got yourself a tea date!

Now, let's find out a little bit more

about these final two ladies.

Ahem...

Now, yes, we have the decorative commemorative teapot

from the coronation of our Queen, Elizabeth II.

This, here, is the Josiah Wedgwood creamware from 1792 -

very old, just like you asked for.

You have to remove the lid of the lady

who you don't want to take out on a tea date.

Off you go.

Ooh!

Is it the decorative...?

No, he's moving over. Ooh!

Ooh... Oh!

Would you look at that?

Congratulations, it must have been desTEAny.

HE LAUGHS

Off you go, now. Thank you.

Hot tea! Oh, Ed, you're potty.

Maurice's tea emporium specialises in serving a traditional high tea,

and there are certain rules on how to be polite

while you're drinking it.

Maurice will be on hand, judging Ed and Cel's table manners,

and there's a cake-sized prize for the winner.

Gentlemen, tea is served.

-That goes on...

-You don't know what you're doing.

Look, I'll do it. Just put it through my strainer.

Look at this, Maurice, I know what I'm doing!

There we go, very nice.

PHONE RINGS

Oh, did you leave your mobile phone on?

That's very rude, isn't it?

When one's trying to concentrate on conversation.

Um.. Oh, sorry, Ed.

Where's your pinkie?

Oh!

Didn't you see it? It was there all the time.

-CEL SLURPS

-Slurp!

Was that a slurp?

Was that a slurp? Ooh, and a bit of snot coming out the nose!

That's not very British is it?

Maybe you should use the napkin to wipe it up.

-There you go.

-This has been an absolute shambles.

It's like a chimp's tea party.

Let's see what Maurice made of that performance.

Well, hello there, Ed and Cel.

How did you enjoy that?

-Beautiful.

-Exquisite.

Well, I wish I could say that, watching you.

-Oh...

-Brilliant.

Perhaps one of the worst things that I've ever seen

is somebody use their napkin as a handkerchief.

I think, along those lines,

-I'd have to award you this cake here, Ed.

-Ah!

-There you go.

-Thank you very much!

See? I'm an ambassador for our country.

I think there's only one way to eat this.

Mmm!

Tea-licious!

Come on, Michelle, keep up!

-Sorry, Ed!

-Have you got everything?

-Yeah, I think so.

-The boomerang?

-Check.

-The painted boomerangs?

-Check, check.

-The bush telephone?

Check.

-Aboriginal painting?

-Check.

What about marngrook football, we haven't forgotten that?

It's somewhere... Yep, check.

Great, There you go. Five things you didn't know about Aboriginal people.

-Goodbye.

-Hold on a minute...

The audience haven't even seen the film yet!

Really? Come on, you lot! Keep up.

Previously on All Over The Place - Australia...

Ed and Michelle arrived at the Grampian region of Victoria,

which is called Gariwerd by Aboriginal people,

to find out about Aboriginal culture.

At the Brambuk Cultural Centre, they discovered five things that are

important to the Djab Wurrung and the Jardwadjali Aboriginal tribes.

# Boom boom boom Everybody say "Boomerang"

# Boomerang! # Where's it gone?

Where is it gone? Oh, there it is!

Wicked!

That's brilliant!

You hardly moved from the spot!

Meet Paul, who's Aboriginal

and knows a thing or two about boomerangs.

-There's a flat side and there's a sort of round side...

-OK.

Flat side in your palm.

And have the boomerang angle at about a 45-degree angle.

OK, enough chat. More action.

Wow, look at that! It's coming back.

Or not.

That didn't come back!

Yes. There we go.

Come on, come on! Come on, Boomie!

-Not bad!

-Woo-hoo!

Nice boomerang dance, Ed.

Any idea where my last boomerang went, Paul?

It'd be good to find out.

-I think I've got an idea.

-Oh...

This is one of the oldest paintings in history.

So, Paul, just how old is this Aboriginal painting?

It's 22,000 years old.

-22,000 years old?!

-What?

Definitely one of the oldest in Australia.

What's it a painting of?

It's actually a paining of our creator spirit, Bunjil.

He's our version of God.

He's the one who created our laws and customs, the land,

the waters and the wildlife for us so we can survive.

This image has been put here so our younger generation can grow up

and learn how important Bunjil was to our culture.

So, Paul, is there any chance we can have a go at doing some rock art?

Yeah, sure. Come with me.

Always want to get your hands dirty, don't you?

SHE LAUGHS

I've picked a special rock for you guys to paint on,

-and it's totally allowed, you've got special permission.

-OK.

The clay is ground up and water is added to make the paint.

It's time to get messy.

And this is exactly the sort of thing

that people would have been using 30,000 years ago?

Exact same stuff.

Before it dries you want to go...

-Leave your mark.

-Amazing!

Three, two, one...

Hey! You like that?

BUZZING

-What's Paul doing now?

-Oh, he's making a telephone call.

Right, it looks like he's swinging around

a bit of wood on a string to me.

No, it's a bush telephone.

Swinging these flat bits of wood

makes a noise that can be heard

by other tribes up to 3km away.

A slow spin is a warning, but a fast spin like this means an invitation.

I wonder what monthly tariff he's on.

Hope he doesn't get more free minutes than me.

A lot of the boomerangs have dots on them.

What do the dots mean?

Anything with dots or artwork on the artefacts, it's telling a story.

Instead of reading a book, we do it for artwork, you know?

OK, I want to paint where I came from.

I came from CBBC back home, so I'll paint Dodge.

Again, like in the rock art,

all of these paints are totally natural, and come from the earth.

Look at those vibrant colours!

I hereby declare mine finished.

-Yay!

-Awesome job.

Hacker on the end, smiling away.

Oh, that's really good!

-You've done a good job of that.

-That is good, actually. I love it.

Oh, Dodge and Hacker will be proud.

Hey!

Marngrook is like an Aboriginal version of rugby.

The rules are simple - the game starts

when the ball is thrown in to the air,

and you score by hitting the spear with the ball.

But if someone tags you, then you have to give up the ball,

and the mayhem starts all over again.

I really want to win a game of marngrook.

Don't you think that'd be a bit embarrassing?

I mean, they're little kids.

Rargh!

Someone's going to get a time out on the naughty step.

You might have noticed, this isn't your regular ball.

No, it's made out of possum skin,

and is filled with bark, grass and charcoal.

-You didn't tag me!

-I did!

-No.

The most fun you could have with a dead possum, ever!

Rargh!

Run, Michelle, run! Go!

Run like the wind!

He's catching up...

-Yes!

-Yeah!

Better luck next time, Ed.

Here we are at one of the most iconic buildings in the world,

the Sydney Opera House.

-Ed...I thought we were doing the opera song now.

-Yeah, we are.

I've been having singing lessons specially,

so I can hit that big note at the end.

Good. But hadn't you better put your fat suit on first?

-BOING!

-Eh?

-BOING!

-Ooh! Yes, good point. Sorry.

What?!

BOING!

Right, let's do this.

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you...

-Sydney Opera House...

-BOTH: ..the Opera!

# To find the design

# There was a competition

# Danish man Jorn Utzon won with his submission

# With optimism

# Australia was filled

# Who could have known it would take 14 years to build?

# In Sydney Harbour

# Right by the sea

# The Opera House stands

# Impressively

# So famous

# I'm sure you've heard

# It's image known

# Throughout the world

# It cost so much it was hugely over-budget

# 100 million

# But who could begrudge it? #

BOING!

# The greatest venue the world has ever seen

# And it was opened by Her Majesty the Queen.

# In Sydney Harbour

# In New South Wales

# The Opera House stands

# Like a ship sails

# Protruding into the sky

# At over 22 storeys high

# The concert hall

# With its vaulted ceiling

# To sing upon this stage

# There's no better feeling

# 2,500 can watch from the stalls

# Imagine how it sounds

# When they all shout "Encore!" #

Get on with it!

# It's Sydney Harbour

# By now you know

# The Opera House is

# The place to go

# A wondrous sight to see

# This final note is

# Too hi-i-i-gh

# For me-e-e-e-ee. #

Ed, remind me why you've got us

dressed up looking ridiculous in the middle of nowhere again.

Johny, I keep telling you, we've come all the way from the UK,

trekking through the Aussie outback to deliver this letter.

Come here, let me have a look. "Boss Drover

"Camooweal, Drover's Camp Festival.

What's a drover when it's at home?

I think they're some kind of big, burly Aussie cowboy.

To the drover's camp!

Don't worry, boys,

your postman skills will come in very handy later

at the drover's camp mail race,

the highlight of the annual Camooweal Drovers Festival.

Teams of four willing postmen and woman must race a cart down

the highway, picking up and dropping off mail

and passengers along the way.

First team over the line wins. Ed's right, though.

Camooweal is famous for big, burly Aussie cowboys,

or drovers as they're known here, and the festival celebrates them.

Droving involves moving cattle across the sandy outbacks

of Australia on horseback, and every year dozens

of drovers come down to round up cattle, spin yarns and crack whips.

So, before you make your special delivery in the mail race,

it's time to find out a bit more about some key droving skills

from the experts.

Let's see how they get on with some whip cracking.

We're here with Stumpy.

He's an expert drover and a dab hand at whip cracking.

So why are drovers good at whip cracking, Stumpy?

Oh, it's a traditional thing.

Every drover carried a whip and it's just to keep the cattle moving.

You went out to the side and cracked the whip, if you're

in the paddock mustering the horses, it puts all the horses together.

You don't actually hit the beast with the whip,

it's just to get them moving in the morning.

That loud crack is it breaking the sound barrier.

Oh, I want a go!

So you swing the whip...

Yep.

-Very wise, Stumpy! Very wise!

-I don't blame you, to be honest.

WHIP SWISHES

Oh! It's harder than it looks, this, isn't it?

There's some cows over there laughing at you, Johny.

WHIP CRACKS

Laugh now!

That's really hard!

Aaah!

Get me away from that thing! You have a go, Ed!

Let's see if competitive Ed can do any better.

Bring it back and crack. OK. So like that...

Whoa!

Yeah, not so smug now, are you, Ed? It's not that easy, is it?

I'm sure I can do this.

-WHIP CRACKS

-Stumpy makes it looks so...

-Oh, I did it, I did it!

-You got it.

Nearly got it.

-WHIP CRACKS

-Yeah!

He's whip cracking. Pretty good.

Not to bad at all, Ed.

Now, time to get some proper Aussie bush tucker down you

and get your energy levels up for the main event - the mail race.

Let's get down to town

-and find out if we're any better at delivering mail.

-Come on then.

Ya!

This cart's missing something and I can't put my finger on what it is.

Someone with a brain?

At the drover's festival, they celebrate the Aussie postal service.

They used to do the rounds on horseback

and they remember this by racing up and down the street, obviously.

Unlike the old vehicles,

these post carts don't have horses pulling them.

Today Ed and Johny will have to toughen up to become

the meanest postmen in the West...of Queensland.

Ed "Handle With Care" Petrie.

Speed - first class. Fastest stamp-licker in the West.

No postcode and the incorrect stamps. Do you feel lucky, punk?

Well, do you?

Johny "Return To Sender" Pitts.

Speed - airmail. Skill - handling restricted goods.

This town isn't big enough for parcels over 20kg,

with a maximum thickness of 46cm.

But they can't do it on their own.

They will need some team-mates to help them deliver the goods.

So I'm here with Ethan and Paige.

This is my team and we're going to kick some butt today.

-Come on, what's the game plan, guys?

-You know, just beat people.

Win the race. Have fun doing it.

The person we're trying to beat

is this really tall, gangly English guy called Ed.

Look out for him, he's a bit of a cheater as well.

Put it there, come on, guys. Woo!

Yes! Team Johny!

So these are my team-mates - Artie and Travis.

-You know the rules, yeah?

-Yes.

I think they know better than me,

-and you know to look out for Johny, yeah?

-Johny?

Yeah, that's the guy we're going to try and beat.

He's got curly hair, very bad personal hygiene.

You'll smell him a mile off, OK? Yeah, are we going to beat Johny?

-Yes!

-Yes, we're going to beat Johny!

On the count of three.

One, two, three.

And they're off and running under a scorching Queensland sun.

They're pounding down this highway and it looks to me like, yes,

Ed seems to be just edging ahead, but it's still pretty much

neck-and-neck as they come up to the first stop.

The first stop is the mail sack pick up.

The whole thing here is getting out, getting the mail sack

and getting back into the cart as quickly as possible.

Ed's looking confident.

Johny's not. He's panicking. And quite rightly so, cos Ed's away.

His team are off and running. Come on, Team Ed.

-Where are you, Team Johny?

-Come on, we can catch these!

We've got this, come on!

You can hear the determination in his voice,

but will it be enough for Team Johny?

Yes, it will!

They've caught them as they come up to pick up the last passenger

and then it's on to the home straight.

It's neck-and-neck right now.

Team Ed, Team Johny, going for it on the home straight.

But Ed is sounding tired...

And Team Johny have opened up a massive gap as they come up

to the last stop, it's the hotel.

And the passengers run in for the final pick-up.

And she's back. Is she in the cart? Almost nearly. Get in the cart!

Heading straight for the finish line now, Team Johny, and look at Ed.

Oh, he's gutted.

And they're almost there.

They're there! It's Team Johny!

They've done it. They've finished.

Team Johny over the line and, oh, they're hugging.

Oh, he's got to be sweaty. Come on, Team Ed.

You can do it. You can make it. Wow, look at his face.

It's redder than Postman Pat's van. Poor Ed.

I feel like my lungs are sticking to the inside of my chest.

Oh!

If that's how they deliver post in Australia,

I do not want to be a postman.

Well done, guys, in the Drover's Camp Mail race.

I'd like to award the All Over The Place award to the winners,

-Team Johny.

-Woo yes! That's what I call a special delivery.

I'm going to send you a trophy, too, Ed,

but you don't mind it in snail mail, do you? First class.

Yeah, first class show off.

You've been watching All Over The Place Australia!