Episode 9 All Over the Place

If you want to know why I'm wearing this in Australia

and I'm trying to peel a prawn with one hand then keep watching.

Got one for me? Don't be shellfish!

Joining Ed on his bonkers Aussie adventure today are Johny...

Come on. Walk on.

..Cel, Naomi, Michelle...

I think I'll twist.

..Susan, and Sam and Mark.

THEY WHOOP

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, South, East, West on a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates all over the place

# It's true what you've heard everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do that is totally ace

# And it turns up all over the place. #

Today we're kicking off in the Northern Territory which is

the same size as France, Spain and Italy put together.

No emus or kangaroos or any of

the Aussie wildlife we'd hoped to see.

-What about this guy? Has he seen any?

-I don't know. I'll ask him.

Mate, have you seen any Aussie wildlife or anything?

-CAMEL:

-You two have put me in the right hump.

He is the Aussie wildlife, you couple of big lumps.

Camels were imported to Australia

in the 19th century

from India, Arabia and Afghanistan

for moving people and stuff around

the dry Aussie outback.

When modern transport made the

camels redundant thousands of them were set free to run wild.

There are now almost 1 million wild camels. If you put them end to end

the line would stretch from the

North coast of Australia

to the South.

That's about 3,000km,

three times the length

of mainland Britain.

Some people think the wild camels can be pests,

but not these tame camels at Uluru.

They are just too cute.

This is Scruffy. She loves pretzels.

Good girl. Would you like one too?

This is Rajah Red.

Apparently he likes giving kisses.

Give us a kiss, Red.

This is my eighth bag of pretzels.

This is Murphy and he likes

having his bum scratched.

Isn't that right?

Yeah. And I thought you were the biggest diva on the show.

Pretzel breath.

C-C-C-Camel.

Yes, I love you too.

This is Chris. He's a funny looking camel to be honest.

-Yes, certainly a unique specimen, but I'm not sure he's a camel.

-Really?

I think we need to know.

There's only one way to find out. Let's play:

OK, you say you're not a camel. It's time to prove it.

-Are you a camel?

-No.

-That's what they all say.

Let's delve deeper.

-Do you weigh up to 600kg or even 700kg? No offence.

-No.

Can you close your nostrils

and do you have three eyelids to

-help keep sand out of your eyes and nose?

-No.

Ed, this news just in and it's a shockerooni.

I know. Chris is not a camel.

Hopefully you will be better at riding a camel than

you are at spotting them.

This is a great way to see Uluru,

but only if you know how to control your camel. Giddy-up, boys.

The last one to Uluru has to clean up the camel poo.

-CAMEL:

-This sounds like fun.

Something I didn't tell you - I've ridden a camel before.

Something I didn't tell you is that I have too.

Quite a couple of know-it-alls.

It's absolutely beautiful. I can't believe how red the soil is.

It looks like you are going the wrong way.

No, I'm just doing tricks. I'm meaning to do this.

I'll see you at Uluru in about eight hours.

Yeah. I'm just messing around.

-This is fun.

-My camel, moving obediently in the hands of a master.

You can keep your 4X4s, Top Gear. This is what it's all about.

Yes.

This is a great way to see Uluru.

There is no other place like this on earth.

It's amazing. Wow.

Whoa. Come on.

-Walk on.

-Your camel is totally the boss of you.

Walk on. Walk on.

-This is the most pathetic thing I've ever seen in my life.

-Walk on!

-CAMEL:

-Dry your eyes. Can't you see I'm eating?

There's no doubt Ed picked up camel riding quicker than Johny,

so Ed won thanks to Jimbo.

And it's time for Johny to pick up poo.

The poo's a bit smelly. You'd better hurry up -

-there's loads more over there.

-This is all part of the experience.

It's actually quite fun. Do you want to try it?

No I don't.

Anyway, you like presenting wildlife programmes don't you?

-You know out here the camels are sometimes known as pests?

-Mm.

-I think I've found the biggest pest around here and it's you.

-Whoa!

Ed is a pest, but I know a man who can help.

Bruce Wallaby here, pest control. I hear you've got some pests.

Yeah, g'day, mate. But the main thing is we are not scared.

-Isn't that right?

-Me? Scared? There's another one.

Well, here in Australia, you've got three main pests.

-The first is the rabbit.

-The rabbit?

Oh, no way, man! Look at these.

They're so cute, furry...

Ouch!

They eat crops. Cause millions of dollars worth of damage each year.

They don't just eat crops, mate.

They've eaten my chocolate eclair as well.

Yeah...

But it might not just be rabbits.

Ah!

The next biggest pest is the cane toad.

Deadly poisonous if you eat them.

Yeah, but who's stupid enough to eat a cane toad?

I think I'll stick with the eclairs.

-LOUD RUMBLING

-Wait...

You hear that?

Struth! What was that?!

Camels! Biggest pests in Australia.

They ruin farmland, eat everything in sight, drink all the water,

even knock down fences.

I'm hiding in here.

Argh!

Oh, man, those critters get everywhere.

Shh!

Here, camel, camel.

-CAMEL GROANS

-Here, camel, camel.

Ah-ha!

Argh!

Well, did you get him, mate?

I'm Bruce Wallaby, pest...control...

Huh. For a minute there, I thought he'd got the hump.

-Argh!

-Argh!

Oh, good old Great Uncle Rodger.

Yeah, he's a handsome looking...fella...isn't he(?)

What's he done? Written you a letter? A bit old school, isn't it?

It's not actually a letter.

This is a map. In fact, this is an old Wilkinson family heirloom, this.

-What, like a treasure map?

-Shh! Yeah, sort of a treasure map.

My Great Uncle Rodger was always going on about this

old Australian mine full of precious stones called opals.

-Look, he sent me this one, see?

-Oh, yeah.

-I love them.

But, you know, you can always find a bigger opal, can't you?

Oh, I like the sound of this.

So we follow this map that nobody else knows about, discover

loads of opals and then we'll be rich, rich beyond our wildest dreams!

Yeah!

-Oh...

-What?

-They've got them as well.

Oh...

That's because you actually get those maps at

the main entrance to this place, the Old Timers Mine in Coober Pedy,

Opal capital of the planet.

Around 90% of the world's opals come from Australia,

and most from the ground around this town.

Opals are beautiful multi-coloured gems formed under the ground

over millions of years, making them almost as old as Ed's jokes.

Ed and Naomi, you have 39 seconds

to find out as much as you can about opals!

Naomi, you have Trevor, owner of the Old Time Mine.

Ed, you have Tina, who knows all there is to know about opals.

Your time starts in three, two, one, go!

-Right, Trevor, was this really once a mine?

-Yes.

How big is the biggest opal in the world?

Oh, that's got to be about as big as a two pound loaf of bread.

-Right, so about that big.

-Yeah.

-When was it first operational?

-1916.

What's the most expensive one in the world?

Oh, millions, millions, millions of dollars.

-Are there still opals here now?

-Yes.

-Could I mine for opals?

-You can.

-Goodbye.

-Bye.

-Should I finish this off first?

-Yes.

Was it dug by hand or did you use explosives?

By hand and explosives.

-What colour of opals would suit my eyes?

-All the colours.

-All the colours of the spectrum.

-What?

-Red, orange, yellow, blue...

-HORN SOUNDS Oh!

-..violet.

-Really? All the colours...

-Yes.

-..match my eyes.

-Yes.

That's nice.

And the winner is...

-Naomi!

-Yes! Me and Trevor, winners!

Yeah, well, I don't care, anyway, cos Tina told me THE best fact.

-Oh, right, what's that?

-We can go mining for opals.

Oh, exciting!

Maybe you'll find your fortune underground, but be careful...

-Ow!

-Mind your head.

-Told you.

This is not a job for a tall man.

I think you'd be better at this if you were more hobbit-sized.

Speaking of hobbits...

Wotcha, I'm Susan Baggins.

-GOLLUM VOICE: Baggins? What is Bagginses?

-This is me bagginses.

I use it to hold me penses, my keyses. My handkerchiefses.

Look! I can put this in it, too.

Precious! You found the precious.

No. It's just an opal. Although look at the pretty rainbow.

The opal is the precious.

The rainbow is called the play of colour.

The more colours that are deflected, the more valuable the opal.

Gollum! Gollum!

It's all right, get it right up. That's it. You all right?

NORMAL VOICE: Oh, that's better. Nearly swallowed me chewing gum.

Anyway, as I was saying...

GOLLUM VOICE: It's mine!

It has powers.

In the Middle Ages, people believed that carrying an opal

was a cure for baldness.

How is that working out for you?

Next you'll be telling me it can find life on Mars.

-It can.

-Oh.

NASA has found deposits of opal on Mars,

and because opal is formed mostly from water,

that means there may have been water on Mars and maybe even life.

So what you're telling me is that this stone is really valuable?

It can help prevent me becoming a slaphead,

and maybe even prove the existence of aliens.

-You're not going to give it back, are you?

-Absolutely not.

But you can have this manky, old ring I found. There you are.

I'm off to commercialise my image.

Ring? Ha!

What am I supposed to do with this stupid...?

Oh. Maybe this is precious. No-one can see I'm going bald.

Enough of the small talk. Let's get back to it.

Like many mines around Coober Pedy,

the Old Timers Opal Mine is a rabbit warren of holes, tunnels and shafts.

Originally, miners would dig by hand.

-HE SCREAMS

-Only me.

And there was no particular skill involved in finding opals.

Brute force and pot luck were all that would be needed

to strike it lucky.

Look at that. I think I might have found some opal.

I wouldn't be laughing just yet.

Stop messing around.

Not only can you find opal down here,

this is also where shop dummies are mined.

This one could do with a belt, because I can see his bottom.

Cheeky.

Very funny, Ed and Naomi.

Those dummies are actually there to show you how people

used to mine for opals, so get on with it.

-Watch where you're going.

-Watch where YOU'RE going.

Most of the opal found is a very common opal called potch.

It's not worth much, but maybe,

just maybe you two have found a fortune.

Put it in the bag.

Today, the boss has told me that we're filming a piece about Grease,

so I've come dressed as a character

from the musical film. Grease is the word.

Ed, when are you going to get dressed?

The boss said to be prepared to make a film about Greece?

Right, well, one of us has got the wrong costume on, haven't they,

Chelly the Greek? There's only one way to settle this.

Oh, yeah, bring it on.

Bring it on!

Not mindless violence, just go in there and find out who's right.

-Hey, Carl.

-Hi.

So, it's not a Grease the musical or Greece the country,

-it's grease the motor oil!

-It is.

Although, you do own a 1950s diner, don't you?

I do run a diner.

So Grease the musical is set in that time, I look...

-OK, OK, you win.

-Where do you keep all the oilcans?

-That's in our diner. We can go and have a look, if you like.

-Yeah, OK.

-If I can tear myself away from this beautiful car.

-So shiny!

Carl collects car and motor oilcans from years gone by.

Cars need oil in their engines so they run smoothly

and don't overheat.

And this collection really is OIL it's cracked up to be!

-This one is probably one of the most sought-after cans.

-I love this guy.

-He's a total dude.

-Yeah. 60s mixing can

where you added your oil and your petrol to fill your motor up.

And these were used every day,

so it's really rare to get one in such good condition.

When I got them, they were 50 cans, now you pay thousands.

-Wow, Oh, my gosh!

-Just crazy.

Moving swiftly from oilcans to pumps.

-RASPBERRY

-No, not those kind of pumps.

Fuel pumps to fill your car with petrol or diesel.

This is the poshest petrol pump I've ever seen.

It's really cool, isn't it? They are really eye-catching.

-They draw you in.

-They are bright and colourful.

There used to be a row of four or five different companies.

When you pulled up, you had a choice of which to stop at.

-So they're all going, "Look at me, look at me!"

-Exactly.

That's why you've got beautiful-looking pumps.

-You could see the fuel with a nice ram on top.

-Real works of art.

I love old jukeboxes.

You couldn't carry it around in your pocket like you can with music

these days, but it's still super-cool, isn't it?

What's that? Game show theme?

It's time to play...

Today, I'm joined by Greece's most famous celebrity, Michelle.

I'm going to ask her oil-related questions.

If she gets it right, she wins an oil-related prize.

She can stick with that prize,

or should I say DIPSTICK with that prize?

Or she can twist and double her winnings

Can you find me a 1920s oilcan?

Three, two, one, off you go.

Cold!

Like an iceberg, baby.

Warming up. Really hot.

I think I found it!

Congratulations, Michelle, that is a 1920s oilcan.

Do you want to stick with your prize, or should I say DIPSTICK...

HE LAUGHS

-..or twist?

-I think I'll twist.

No. No, no, no. I didn't mean do the 1950s rock 'n' roll dance, the twist,

I meant twist - I'll ask you another question.

-I'm going to have to take your prize.

-Hold on a minute, that's not fair.

Life's not fair.

Can you find me a vintage oil bottle?

Off you go.

Keep those eyes peeled, Michelle, getting warmer.

Here it is. Yes!

Congratulations, Michelle, that is a vintage oil bottle.

Now, do you want to stick with your prize or should I stay dip...

I can't say it! I can't say it! Do you want to twist, basically?

I think I'll twist and get another question.

No, I meant do the 1950s dance, The Twist.

Oh, dear. I'll have to put that back.

Can you find an oilcan that gives your car an extra boost?

Off you go.

Quick, Michelle, cold, warm, cold, hot!

This is the one.

Congratulations, Michelle, you've found the 1940s high-octane oilcan.

Do you want to stick with your prize, or should I say... You know.

-Or do you want to twist?

-Well, I love to dance, so I'm going to Twist?

That's right, I meant the 1950s dance, The Twist.

Unfortunately, I do have some bad news.

There's another twist to this game show and that is that Carl's

particularly attached to this oilcan and he doesn't want to let it go.

It was never mine to give away.

Here's a twist of my own!

Quite enjoyed that. Goodbye.

Here we are at the incredible pinnacles in Western Australia.

-This place is otherworldly.

-You're right. It looks amazing.

-It's like an alien landscape.

-It is breathtaking.

Ed, I've got an idea.

Why don't we, for the song, you and I,

pretend we've been abducted by aliens

and dropped onto an alien world?

-That would be awesome.

-This is a factual programme,

we can't go fantasising about alien abductions.

Our job is to present the hard, scientific facts

to the viewers at home.

The creation of these structures is a subject of much debate

and I don't want to go muddying the waters

with ridiculous tales of alien abductions.

Cel? Cel? Must have gone to put his costume on.

# So here I am

# In Nambung National Park

# And what I've found

# Look all around

# Amazing features protrude from the ground

# Towers of rock

# These pillars reach into the clear blue sky

# How did they form?

# There's several scientific reasons why

# Some are tall

# Some are small

# They vary in colour too

# Either way you have to say

# It's full of breathtaking views

# Pinnacles

# Nature's miracles

# Are limestone formations

# Can't believe that what I see

# Are made from crustaceans

# This area has a quarter million visitors each year

# And many come just to watch the sun appear or disappear

# A stunning sight

# Surrounded by constantly shifting dunes

# Some people say Aboriginals think these are ghostly tombs

# It used to be an ancient sea

# And these formed over time

# The science bit doesn't fit into words that easily rhyme

# Pinnacles

# Nature's miracles

# Generations

# Can't believe that what I see

# Are natural creations

# Pinnacles

# Nature's miracles

# Exceed my expectations

# Can't believe that what I see

# Are Aussie sensations. #

Shame Cel missed the song. Wonder where he is?

So exciting to be here.

The Moon Festival is one of the biggest Asian events in Australia.

This suburb, it's like a slice of Asia.

Seven out of ten people that live here weren't born in Australia.

It's going to be so good.

There's going to be chopstick challenges, Chinese dragons,

one armed prawn peeling.

The Moon Festival celebrates the time of the year

when the moon is at its fullest.

It's a Chinese tradition...

Ed, you could have shaved.

It is for the moon festival. I'm dressed as a werewolf!

For a laugh!

Better take this stuff back to the joke shop now-oooooo!

Ed, that was a real howler but like Naomi said,

the Moon Festival is a Chinese tradition to celebrate the moon

when it's at its fullest,

and it's been held here in Cabramatta for the last 15 years.

At the festival, you can try all sorts of traditional Chinese food,

like moon pie and even bugs - yeuch!

And you get to test your prawn peeling skills too.

You can even dance with a lion. Honest, I'm not "lion" to you!

They asked us if we wanted to join in and it seemed a bit rude to refuse.

Don't really know what we're doing or where we're going!

Lion dancing is thought to be around 2,000 years old

and originates from China, and it's not to be confused

with line dancing which comes from the US of A, yee-ha!

This is the Moon Festival. During the day when the sun's out.

Exactly. Isn't that terrible scheduling? I don't know why that is.

Should we ask this fellow? He might know. Excuse me,

why don't you have the Moon Festival at night-time?

-With the moon?

-What's going on there? Come back!

-Lovely talking to you.

Naomi Wilkinson and Ed Petrie, asking the questions that need answering.

You might be asking the right question, but you're asking the wrong person.

Cheryl is the big boss of the festival

so whatever you need to know, she's your lady.

What we want to know is why is it held in the daytime?

It goes throughout the whole day into the night

because it's the Moon Festival.

Nothing to do with werewolves?

It's about the full moon, it's a harvest moon, and it's a time

when all the families come together because they've been working hard

in the fields and they come together and celebrate with their families.

What sort of events do you do here to celebrate it?

We have some fantastic events.

The biggest event is the one handed prawn peeling competition.

-Which we are going to enter!

-It's the best!

I'd be interested to see how you go because there are some hotshots.

-Why one hand?

-Because we have to make it hard!

It's not about being an easy competition

and people here practise all year.

-Do you have any top tips for us?

-Definitely head off first!

-Head off first.

-Then do the legs, squeeze the tail and you're done.

That sounds disgusting but before you get smelly fish fingers,

why don't you have a look around this amazing Moon Festival!

Can you smell that, Ed?

Yeah, sorry, forgot to have a shower this morning.

No! The yummy dumplings, noodles, all that tasty Asian food.

Yes! I can smell that.

Shall we go and see if we can find some strange food to try?

-I bet I can find a stranger one than you.

-Bet you can't!

-Bet I can.

-Bet you can't.

The Moon Festival celebrates food from all over Asia,

from noodles to dumplings to spring rolls

and even that well-known snack, twisted potato on a stick!

Bugs. I saw them first! Your weirdest bug, please.

I've got some crickets, would you like to try those?

Great, yes.

And what does that taste of?

Tastes of bees.

They are not bad actually.

Beat that!

Dragon Beard candy. Sounds unusual. Can I have one, please?

Let's try this then.

You look like you've got an old man's beard hanging out of your mouth!

It's quite dry!

Moon cake. I'm having moon cake.

-I saw it first!

-It tastes like the moon?

Lotus seed inside.

It's made from lotus seeds. I think that's quite weird.

Which is more unusual? Moon cake or dragon beard cake?

Of course moon cake!

Well done, Ed, you managed to eat some cake. Just amazing.

But that's not why you're here, don't forget about the prawns!

The competition rules are simple.

Ed and Naomi, you can only use one hand,

you can't use your mouth or teeth and the winner is the first

to peel all six prawns so get your fingers warmed up

and get ready to go, "prawnto!"

"Prawnto", did you get...? I'm wasted on these two.

Those prawns look very "ap-peel-ing"

but who will have the fastest fingers in the West...

of Sydney?

-Are you ready for this?

-Yes.

-I was "prawn" ready!

Why don't we make it out of you two,

the slower one needs to eat the other person's prawns.

-BOTH:

-No!

Are you ready? Three, two, one, go!

Naomi's off to a good start.

Ed's doing well.

Ed's gone for a two-prawn attack.

Finally Naomi's got one.

My arm's starting to ache now.

They don't give up their shells very easily. They're shellfish!

Ed has peeled four prawns.

Naomi's are such a mess it's hard to tell how many

she's actually peeled.

Finished!

Ed's finished in a cracking time of two minutes and 50 seconds.

I thought you were prawn ready!

I lied!

Is that it?

Eventually! Naomi's clawed her way over the finish line

at four minutes and four seconds. OK, Naomi,

start eating. Start eating Ed's prawns.

-I like prawns.

-Good job, you've got another five to go.

And the winner of the one-handed prawn peeling competition is...

Ed!

Thank you, there's just a few people I'd like to thank.

One person, myself, because I did it single-handedly.

You can put champion prawn peeler down on your CV.

Thanks, Naomi.

You've been watching All Over The Place: Australia!