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The Pageant Pickle Arthur

The Pageant Pickle

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# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

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# Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day

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# If we can learn to work and play

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# And get along with each other

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# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

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# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street

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# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!

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# Get together and make things better By working together

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# It's a simple message

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# And it comes from the heart

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# Oh, believe in yourself

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# For that's the place to start

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day

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# If we can learn to work and play

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# And get along with each other

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# What a wonderful kind of day, hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day HEY! #

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(Hey, DW!)

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-Hey!

-Whoa! Oof!

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It started out as a perfect spring day.

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Life couldn't get any better.

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-BIRDSONG

-But that was about to change.

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ARTHUR WHISTLES CHEERFULLY

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Someone's in a good mood.

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There's less than one month of school left.

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Muffy's already planning her first pool party.

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Oh, that reminds me...

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How do you know when something bad is coming?

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This Friday afternoon, nobody make any plans.

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Somehow, I knew this couldn't be good.

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-Why? What's up?

-It's...

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Then she said the three most horrible words

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in the English language.

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DW's spring pageant.

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A-A-A-A-RGH!

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APPLAUSE

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But the pool party's Friday.

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-Why do

-I

-always have to do everything DW wants?

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That's not fair.

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I do things for you ALL the time.

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Like what?

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I give you free advice, I let your silly dog lick my feet,

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I defend you when the Tibbles say you look like a banana.

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Mum, can I PLEASE skip this one?

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Both of you, calm down.

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Arthur, you're going to the pageant and that's final.

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But...it's going to be so boring!

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Arthur's going to a pageant.

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Ha-ha-ha! Ah!

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Pageant face! Pageant face!

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Pageant face? That doesn't even make any sense.

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It's all I could think of. Don't pick on me.

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Arthur, it's just a preschool pageant.

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How bad can it be?

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You wouldn't say that if YOU'D been through what I'VE been through,

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like last fall.

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ALL: # We are autumn's pretty leaves

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# Red and yellow

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# Orange and brown

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# See us falling from the trees

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# Falling, falling, falling down. #

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I would've given anything for a giant leaf blower.

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You know what I do if it's boring?

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I count the ceiling tiles.

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468. I checked twice.

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Ooh, that IS bad.

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Maybe it'll be better this time.

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After all, they've had all year to practise.

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ALL: # We are springtime's pretty flowers

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# See us blossom,

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# One by one

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-# Growing with the April showers...

-Wake up now.

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-That's it. Stretch your arms.

-# ..Reaching, reaching for the sun. #

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THEY ALL YAWN

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Buster was right. This really IS boring.

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What was that, DW?

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What if we tried something exciting?

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Well, what did you have in mind?

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Um...I know!

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What if in the middle of the song there comes a giant spider?

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And everyone goes, "A-A-A-A-AH!

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"A spider!"

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Come on, people, that's good.

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There isn't really going to be a spider, is there?

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No, of course not.

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Unless we use the one...

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behind you!

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A-A-A-A-ARGH!

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Ee! A spider!

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DW, you shouldn't do things that scare the other kids.

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It's not MY fault everyone wants the pageant to be boring.

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-See! She admits it!

-Arthur!

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I'm sure it's not boring. You should've see MY preschool pageant.

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Hoh! We sang this old song called Springtime Flowers,

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everyone dressed like flowers, it was awful. Awful.

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Boring, unbearable, awful.

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Er...that's what WE'RE doing.

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Er...I'll do the dishes.

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Well, if THEY won't fix it, I will.

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What are you going to do?

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Hm. Wouldn't YOU like to know?

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LIGHTNING STRIKES

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WIND HOWLS

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Think, Nadine, think.

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It HAS to be something exciting.

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I want the audience to be moved too.

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BARKING

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Ssh. Pal, be quiet.

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BARKING CONTINUES

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WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

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Quit spying on me.

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Me? I wasn't.

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Well, OK, I was.

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But you're not planning on anything

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that's going to embarrass me, are you?

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I hate to break this to you, but not EVERYTHING is about YOU, Arthur Read.

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DOOR SLAMS

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Well, that's a relief.

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Hmm.

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-Have you decided how you'll improve the pageant?

-Mm-hm.

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I'm going to say a poem.

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About what?

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Mum, Arthur's being nosy.

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It's OK, you can keep it a secret.

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Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be wonderful.

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It's going to be a two-person poem.

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I'm going to ask Emily to do it with me.

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She's up to something, I can tell.

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Stop worrying.

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And, anyway, I've decided

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my pool party won't start till AFTER the pageant.

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The preschool's on the way to Muffy's. I'll pick you up.

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She's planning something, I just know it.

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She's TOO happy.

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TOO happy?

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If she's planning to drive him crazy,

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it's working.

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ALL: # We are springtime's pretty flowers

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# See us blossom, one by one

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-# Growing with the April showers... #

-Still 468.

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-# ..Reaching, reaching...

-Ssh!

-..for the sun. #

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Thank you. And now DW Read will recite a poem that she wrote.

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DW WHISPERS

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It appears that DW won't be reciting her poem.

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So we'll go right to intermission.

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Mum and Dad said I can leave now.

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DW dropped out. It's just the other kids after this.

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Cool. Let's go.

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Er...hang on.

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Why didn't you do your poem?

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I couldn't get anyone to do it with me.

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Big deal. Do it by yourself.

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It's a two-person poem, Arthur Read.

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If you knew ANYTHING about poetry,

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you KNOW you can't do a two-person poem with only one person.

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Oh.

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Ready?

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Y-Yeah, OK.

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DW SIGHS

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One sec.

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FRANCINE SIGHS

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Nobody else in the whole class would do it with you?

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That's REALLY mean.

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You coming?

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Hang on.

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Look, DW, if you really, really need another person to do your poem...

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Arthur, you're the best brother ever!

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Come on!

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Go ahead. I'll meet you at Muffy's.

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What, and miss this? No way!

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It's simple. When it starts, you just stand there,

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then...

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FRANCINE WHISTLES

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We got your call. What's the big emergency?

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I just thought you'd want to see something on the way to the party.

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For our final performance, a poem by DW Read.

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No way. I'm NOT doing this.

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My Best Friend,

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a poem by DW Read.

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Ahem.

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HE SIGHS

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My best friend lives in my house

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He isn't a lion and he isn't a mouse

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He's a chimpanzee and he goes...

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Ah-ah ee-ee oo-oo.

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(Louder!)

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Ah-ah ee-ee oo-oo.

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(You'll have to act like a chimpanzee!)

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Ah-ah oo-oo-oo ah-ah-ah-ah.

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Oo-oo ah-ah.

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LAUGHTER

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He climbs on furniture And hangs on lamps

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And when he's happy He does a silly dance...

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-Oo-oo-oo ah-ah-ah ee-ee-ee!

-LAUGHTER

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Oo-oo ah-ah-ah-ah!

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Eee-ee-ee oo-oo ah-ah-ah-ah!

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Ee-ee-ee oo-oo ah-ah-ah-ah!

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He walks on his hands And sleeps in a drawer

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My best friend is a chimpanzee

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But he never is a bore.

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The end.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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See? That wasn't so bad.

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-Go, Arthur!

-Yay, chimp!

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-Have fun at your party.

-Congratulations.

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Or, as they say in chimpanzee,

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"Oo-oo ah-ah!"

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Hey, come on, Arthur's not the ONLY talented one, you know.

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I only did it because her friends all told her no.

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-Can I have your autograph?

-Me too. That was funny!

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The Tibbles want one. They're jealous.

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The want to be chimpanzees TOO.

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Well, I guess you're all wishing you had said yes when DW asked you.

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-Asked us what?

-To be the...

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HE GASPS

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I don't BELIEVE it!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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She GOT you!

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DW!

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BUSTER, FRANCINE AND BINKY LAUGH

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OK, ha-ha, very funny. You can stop laughing now.

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So she never really asked anyone else to be the chimp?

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I guess you shouldn't have told her it would be boring.

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I'll get her back. You wait.

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We'll see who's the chimp.

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Admit it, Arthur, you'll never win.

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DW's too smart.

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I guess it WAS pretty funny.

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Do it again. Be a chimpanzee.

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No.

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Come on, be a chimp.

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No way!

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OK, then I will.

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Oo-oo ah-ah-ah-ah!

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-ALL:

-Oo-oo ah-ah-ah!

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Oo-oo ah-ah-ah ee-ee!

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