Some Assembly Required Arthur

# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day If we can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street

# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!

# Get together and make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Oh, believe in yourself For that's the place to start

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# If we can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #

Hey, DW.

-Hey!

-Whoa...

MACHINE WHIRRS

It's here. It's here! It's here!

Kids have it easy today. They don't need to use their imagination.

Back when my dad was a kid,

he played something called flashlight tag.

Were you supposed to tag the flashlight

or was the flashlight supposed to tag you?

And in my grandma's day, they used to play

something called kick the can.

Now what?

An old soup can - that was her toy.

You have to come over right now. My new play-set is here.

And when I was a kid

you had to go to the park to play in the jungle gym.

Now it comes to you.

Yup, kids sure have it easy.

HE GASPS

Well, this looks...easy.

I think you have the instructions upside down.

Oh, that's better.

Sort of.

It's called the New Fun Stuff Turvallisuus.

It's the best play-set in the entire world.

We're going to have THAT much fun.

-I didn't know it was possible to have that much fun.

-Me neither.

Hmm... I wonder what's taking so long.

-Is it ready yet?

-It's going to take a little while.

There are lots of pieces to put together.

-You'll just have to be patient, sweetie.

-OK. I can be patient.

Now, what is this? I can't find it in the parts guide.

Is it ready yet?

-DW...

-But I've been waiting years and years for this new play-set.

You saw it in an ad three weeks ago.

Where's Arthur? Why isn't he helping?

If he got a Turvallisuus, I'd be helping him.

I'm right here and I am helping. I made lemonade.

Of course you'd be thinking of your belly at a time like this.

Oh, that reminds me, I took some cupcakes out of the oven.

Would you mind icing them for me?

Why don't you play with Bud and Emily to pass the time?

Humph. "Be patient, DW. You have to wait, DW."

What do parents have against the word "now"?

It's ginormous.

SHE SNIFFS And it smells so cardboard-y.

Guys, it's just a box. You know what happens with boxes?

You fall in love with them...

-SHE SIGHS

-..and then they get recycled.

Yeah, but until then it could be a covered wagon.

-Or a space covered wagon for moon-settlers.

-OK.

But there has to be a spinning wheel and the monsters can't be too scary.

Deal.

Boring.

You can be the captain.

-SHE SIGHS

-Well, someone has to do it.

MACHINE BLEEPS

Captain, we're approaching the moon.

How about we set up camp right here, next to the desert of Readiartica?

Sounds good. Set her down gently, Officer Bud.

MACHINE BLEEPS

ENGINE ROARS

Got everything we need to set up camp, Officer Emily?

Spinning wheel, tin cups, tea, marshmallows. Aye, aye, Captain.

Let's do this.

THEY SCREAM

MONSTER ROARS

-DOG BARKS

-Watch out!

-Don't let it in!

Ee-ee-ee!

It's a giant moon hamster. Whatever you do, don't let it lick you.

Its drool is like lava.

You promised the monsters wouldn't be too scary.

Don't worry, Officer Em. I know how to take care of moon hamsters.

You just have to distract them.

DEVICE WHIRRS

Come on, now's our chance.

DOG BARKS

DOG WHIMPERS

The cupcakes are ready.

Looks like moon hamsters aren't the only creatures here.

What's that? FOOTSTEPS THUD

-It's a giant robot.

-Clank, clank, clank.

We'll have to avoid him at all costs.

Fortunately, robots aren't very bright so it shouldn't be that hard.

-What's he carrying?

-Super zilonium crystals.

-Really?

They look a lot like cupcakes.

Yeah. I am seeing cupcakes too.

Well, you're both seeing wrong, cos they're super zilonium crystals

-and I'm the captain, so that's that.

-OK...

Can we eat super zilonium crystals?

I hear they're delicious.

No!

Only if we bring them back to the ship and de-Arthur-ise them.

-That will make them safe to eat.

-Great. Let's go get them.

Wait. We need a plan. Here's what we'll do.

Hey, look what I can do.

Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.

Hurry, Officer Bud.

The robots have very short attention spans.

Almost there.

METAL THUMPS

I wonder what they're building.

Got it.

Captain DW, where'd you go?

Mmm... Scrumptious, moist zilonium crystals.

I'm sure just one wouldn't kill me.

METAL THUMPS

FOOTSTEPS THUD

Might be a clue.

Bud, no! Those crystals aren't safe.

Gah! Glerp, blurp, glarp.

I like Bionic Bunny.

I can't distract the robot any more.

-SHE GASPS

-What's wrong with Bud?

He has advanced ARTHURitis. We have to get him back to the ship.

Thank goodness I brought this red wagon.

Here's my homework, Mr Ratburn.

ROBOT ROARS

Hey, what are all the cupcakes doing down there?

We couldn't reach them.

Run!

Grr, my crystals!

MONSTER ROARS

Go fetch, you giant hairball.

MONSTER ROARS

Rrraaaaarrrr!

MACHINE BUZZES

MACHINE BUZZES

-Nice to have you back, Officer Bud.

-Phew. That was horrible.

-But so-o-o worth it.

-Hey, you've had yours.

Captain, I've been running some tests

on the strange object you found.

It's called a flugel, and it's a key part of an alien spaceship.

So that thing the robots are building is a spaceship.

-Where are they headed?

-Isn't it obvious?

They're going to fly to earth with their delicious zilonium crystals

and give everyone ARTHURitis.

-SHE GASPS

-We have to stop them.

Wait!

-I have to go to the bathroom.

-What? Come on.

-Right now?

Sorry, nature calls. I'm using an official time-out.

-This is the best box ever.

-If it had a bathroom, I'd live in it.

DW, you'll be happy to know that we're almost finished.

Oh, OK.

No need to rush.

Two hours ago it was, "I need it now."

Now, "There's no need to rush."

I think something is supposed to go right here.

Huh... It's probably something just for decoration.

I say we're done.

I'll start cleaning up.

So, we'll fly back to Earth and warn everyone, and then...

-SHE GASPS

-No!

-Wait!

-Stop!

-You're destroying it.

-What?

Dad said to fold it up for the recycling.

See? I told you. Big empty boxes break your heart.

Oh, DW...

-Ta-da!

-Ta-da!

I don't want to play on that. I want to play with the box.

DW, we spent a lot of time building this

so I suggest you rethink your attitude here.

Why don't you give the play-set a try?

-SLIDE SQUEAKS

-Wheee...

-I think it's time for a coffee break.

-I'll join you.

Well, there goes our ship.

-How will we ever get back to Earth?

-We won't.

We're stuck on the boring old moon forever.

Wait. What if we took the robot's spaceship?

That's a great idea.

And you have the missing piece - the flugel.

Come on, Captain, what do you say? Shall we try it?

I guess it's worth a shot.

-Yay!

-All right!

But we're not going back home. We're going to Mars.

Too bad I lost my spinning wheel.

Maybe there'll be one in the new ship.

Probably. Robots love to knit.

Will there be zilonium crystals on Mars? I'm starving.

See? I told you she'd come around.

I still say we get her empty boxes for Christmas.