The Case of the Girl with the Long Face Arthur


The Case of the Girl with the Long Face

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# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

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# Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day If we can learn to work and play

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# And get along with each other

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# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

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# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street

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# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!

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# Get together and make things better By working together

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# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

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# Oh, believe in yourself For that's the place to start

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

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# If we can learn to work and play And get along with each other

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# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #

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(Hey, DW!)

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-Hey!

-Whoa!

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CRASH

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Watteau, old chap,

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Paris is beset by crimes so strange only you can solve them.

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SIRENS WAIL

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A thief broke into the Louvre, stole the frames,

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but left the paintings behind.

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The Eiffel Tower is missing...

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THEY GASP

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..and has been replaced by a giant baguette.

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And I suspect someone's let the animals out of the zoo.

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-FRENCH ACCENT:

-What gives you that idea, Bastings?

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Just a hunch.

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HE SHOUTS

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Eh, another day, another puzzle to solve brilliantly. Who cares?

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Fern, why'd you stop?

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We're right in the middle of an exciting case.

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I'm sorry, George, I just feel sad.

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I think I'll go home.

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Sad? Why are you sad?

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-I don't know.

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-It's a mystery.

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But you're the world's greatest detective!

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Who else can I get to solve the case of why you're sad?

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DOORBELL RINGS

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-THUNDER CRASHES

-How about me?

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Buster Baxter, private eye.

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It was a Tuesday

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and the rain ran down my window like Mum's chilli bubbling

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over the pot, but she wasn't the only one spilling the beans.

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So, you see, Mr Baxter, my friend Fern hasn't smiled in a week.

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And you want me to find out why?

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If she doesn't cheer up soon, I'll never learn who freed

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the animals in Virgule Watteau And The Paris Perpetrator.

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Hmm. Quick question,

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how many antenna does Fern have sticking out of her head?

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Uh, none.

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No antennae.

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It was clear Fern had not been replaced by an alien.

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This was going to be a tough one.

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Buster, what are you doing with my old tape recorder?

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Taking notes on the case. Every private detective uses one of these.

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Well, the chilli's ready.

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All right, Mr Lundgren, I'll take the case.

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Right after dinner.

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It rained the whole week.

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Water trickling like maple syrup over blueberry pancakes.

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And, like syrup, I stuck to Fern as she...

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Goes to lunch.

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Eats alone.

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Returns library books.

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Doesn't take out new ones.

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Shh.

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"Shantih shantih shantih."

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Sits through poetry appreciation class

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and doesn't appreciate the poem.

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Fern is definitely not herself, but who's to blame?

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Buster, no mumbling during class into a tape recorder.

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BELL RINGS

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I'm sorry, Mr Ratburn, it won't happen again.

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I gave the cops the slip but my time in the pokey had put me

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behind the eight ball.

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So, I headed straight for the local ice cream joint

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to see what I could churn out.

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-The usual?

-Make it a double.

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Scoop.

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I hear you're after whoever it is put Fern in a funk.

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-You said a mouthful.

-Maybe you should question her friends.

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Maybe I will.

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-Maybe you should!

-Maybe I'll question you.

-Maybe I'll answer.

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Maybe you gave her a bad batch of jimmies

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and you put that sourpuss on her face.

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Maybe you should look at my rating from the ice cream authority.

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It's an A. I always get an A!

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Maybe I owe you an apology!

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-TAPE RECORDER BEEPS

-Oops, hold on.

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Tape's run out, I've got to flip it.

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I did see Fern argue with Muffy a few days ago.

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Why don't you ask her?

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Hmm.

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Muffy Crosswire, heiress to an automobile empire

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and queen bee of the playground.

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One thing I knew about heiresses, a talk with her wouldn't come cheap.

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I'll tell you all I know, Detective, but first I need your help.

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Thanks for helping me shop, Buster,

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Bailey sprained his elbow playing badminton.

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It's OK. But can't use tape recorder with arms full.

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Whoa!

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CRASH

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I've heard about your investigation, Detective, but I'm innocent,

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I tell you.

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That's what everybody says right before I get them to confess.

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Well, I'm not everybody.

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So I see.

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-Nice sparklers.

-Thank you.

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-Nice glad rags.

-Thank you.

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-Why'd you make Fern sad?

-I didn't mean to!

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SHE GASPS

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Ah-ha, gotcha!

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All right, here's the whole sordid story.

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A few days ago, Fern wore a new lavender bow in her hair to school.

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And everyone knows that colour bow is your signature look.

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Fuchsia or purple I'd be fine with, but lavender?

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We got into an argument.

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I swear, I didn't know she'd take it so hard. Please give her these.

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Five bows in all the colours of the rainbow.

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They'd look better if we weren't in black and white.

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A friendship tied up in knots over a bow, I just put my finger on it.

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So you think she's sad over a hair accessory? I don't know.

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That doesn't sound like Fern.

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Trust me, George, it's all because of this fight she had with Muffy.

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Just wait and see.

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You're early, I...

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Oh, you're that private eye, Buster Baxter.

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What are you doing here?

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I brought something, a package with your name written all over it.

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My name isn't the Mill Creek Mall.

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Inside the bag. It's from the heiress Muffy Crosswire.

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-An apology in blue, orange, green...

-Oh, yes, I...

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-forgot all about our little spat.

-So, that isn't why your sad?

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No, it isn't. You fellas are swell, but this dame's still down in the

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dumps and a pretty ribbon isn't going to pull her out.

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Good day, gentlemen.

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See, I told you.

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I could have sworn I had this case cracked.

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No offence but Virgule Watteau

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would have put the clues together by now and...

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That's it, clues!

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There's one staring us right in the face.

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Remember what Fern's just said?

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'You're early, I...

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'Oh!'

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Just who was she expecting?

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I was no mathematician, but this story wasn't adding up.

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-I don't see anyone suspicious.

-It's a stakeout, be patient.

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There's something fishy going on here

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and it isn't just this ham and anchovy sandwich.

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Want a bite? We could be here for hours.

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How long has it been?

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15 minutes.

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I better get more snacks.

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Wait! She's coming out.

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-Someone's chasing her.

-Not if we can help it.

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You've got nowhere left to turn. Show us who you are.

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The Grey Dove.

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Uh-oh.

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-FRENCH ACCENT:

-I knew you would come to me sooner or later.

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When something goes wrong, everyone suspects the Grey Dove. Why?

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Just because I'm big and scary-looking

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and like to steal things?

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That might have something to do with it.

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Why were you chasing Fern?

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Chasing Fern? I was jogging with the lady.

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I told her that exercise would help her kick her bad mood.

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Oh. Then why did you run away from us?

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Ah, force of habit.

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-So you're not the one who upset her in the first place?

-No.

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And if I did, I would have sent her a nice apology note.

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If you aren't doing this for free, I demand my money back.

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Hmm, an apology note.

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That gives me one more idea.

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It was a crazy plan, but like a kid in a movie theatre

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at the end of the film, I was down to my last gumdrop.

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So, let me get this straight, you put an apology note on her locker

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but you didn't sign it?

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That's right.

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When she reads it, she'll go to thank someone

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and that someone will be our culprit.

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Pretty smart, huh?

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Here she comes.

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And then, in the case with as many twists as a pretzel

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on a roller-coaster, we took one last sharp turn.

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Ratburn?

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I did not see that coming.

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Run!

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-Buster.

-George.

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What are you two doing?

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So, nobody made you sad?

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I tried to explain it before to George,

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sometimes I just get the blues.

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Buster, haven't you ever had a bad day for no particular reason?

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-I'm not sure.

-Don't worry if you do, you'll feel better soon.

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It's kind of like when it rains and rains,

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sooner or later the sun always comes out.

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-Wow.

-One good part of my blue periods is that

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I often get great ideas for my stories.

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For example...

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-FRENCH ACCENT:

-Virgule Watteau awoke from her stupor

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with the answer to the Paris mystery.

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The weeks of rain had caused the locks in the zoo to rust

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and crumble, so the animals had freed themselves.

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Great twist!

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The case was solved, the sun was out,

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I'd learned something new about the human heart.

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But, for some reason, I just felt...

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Say, Baxter, why the long face?

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Hmm, it's a mystery.

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Why don't you tell me all about it

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over a bowl of something cold and sweet?

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You know, Brain, this could be the beginning of a beautiful,

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hot fudge sundae.

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