The Case of the Girl with the Long Face Arthur

# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day If we can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street

# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!

# Get together and make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Oh, believe in yourself For that's the place to start

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# If we can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #

(Hey, DW!)

-Hey!

-Whoa!

CRASH

Watteau, old chap,

Paris is beset by crimes so strange only you can solve them.

SIRENS WAIL

A thief broke into the Louvre, stole the frames,

but left the paintings behind.

The Eiffel Tower is missing...

THEY GASP

..and has been replaced by a giant baguette.

And I suspect someone's let the animals out of the zoo.

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-What gives you that idea, Bastings?

Just a hunch.

HE SHOUTS

Eh, another day, another puzzle to solve brilliantly. Who cares?

Fern, why'd you stop?

We're right in the middle of an exciting case.

I'm sorry, George, I just feel sad.

I think I'll go home.

Sad? Why are you sad?

-I don't know.

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-It's a mystery.

But you're the world's greatest detective!

Who else can I get to solve the case of why you're sad?

DOORBELL RINGS

-THUNDER CRASHES

-How about me?

Buster Baxter, private eye.

It was a Tuesday

and the rain ran down my window like Mum's chilli bubbling

over the pot, but she wasn't the only one spilling the beans.

So, you see, Mr Baxter, my friend Fern hasn't smiled in a week.

And you want me to find out why?

If she doesn't cheer up soon, I'll never learn who freed

the animals in Virgule Watteau And The Paris Perpetrator.

Hmm. Quick question,

how many antenna does Fern have sticking out of her head?

Uh, none.

No antennae.

It was clear Fern had not been replaced by an alien.

This was going to be a tough one.

Buster, what are you doing with my old tape recorder?

Taking notes on the case. Every private detective uses one of these.

Well, the chilli's ready.

All right, Mr Lundgren, I'll take the case.

Right after dinner.

It rained the whole week.

Water trickling like maple syrup over blueberry pancakes.

And, like syrup, I stuck to Fern as she...

Goes to lunch.

Eats alone.

Returns library books.

Doesn't take out new ones.

Shh.

"Shantih shantih shantih."

Sits through poetry appreciation class

and doesn't appreciate the poem.

Fern is definitely not herself, but who's to blame?

Buster, no mumbling during class into a tape recorder.

BELL RINGS

I'm sorry, Mr Ratburn, it won't happen again.

I gave the cops the slip but my time in the pokey had put me

behind the eight ball.

So, I headed straight for the local ice cream joint

to see what I could churn out.

-The usual?

-Make it a double.

Scoop.

I hear you're after whoever it is put Fern in a funk.

-You said a mouthful.

-Maybe you should question her friends.

Maybe I will.

-Maybe you should!

-Maybe I'll question you.

-Maybe I'll answer.

Maybe you gave her a bad batch of jimmies

and you put that sourpuss on her face.

Maybe you should look at my rating from the ice cream authority.

It's an A. I always get an A!

Maybe I owe you an apology!

-TAPE RECORDER BEEPS

-Oops, hold on.

Tape's run out, I've got to flip it.

I did see Fern argue with Muffy a few days ago.

Why don't you ask her?

Hmm.

Muffy Crosswire, heiress to an automobile empire

and queen bee of the playground.

One thing I knew about heiresses, a talk with her wouldn't come cheap.

I'll tell you all I know, Detective, but first I need your help.

Thanks for helping me shop, Buster,

Bailey sprained his elbow playing badminton.

It's OK. But can't use tape recorder with arms full.

Whoa!

CRASH

I've heard about your investigation, Detective, but I'm innocent,

I tell you.

That's what everybody says right before I get them to confess.

Well, I'm not everybody.

So I see.

-Nice sparklers.

-Thank you.

-Nice glad rags.

-Thank you.

-Why'd you make Fern sad?

-I didn't mean to!

SHE GASPS

Ah-ha, gotcha!

All right, here's the whole sordid story.

A few days ago, Fern wore a new lavender bow in her hair to school.

And everyone knows that colour bow is your signature look.

Fuchsia or purple I'd be fine with, but lavender?

We got into an argument.

I swear, I didn't know she'd take it so hard. Please give her these.

Five bows in all the colours of the rainbow.

They'd look better if we weren't in black and white.

A friendship tied up in knots over a bow, I just put my finger on it.

So you think she's sad over a hair accessory? I don't know.

That doesn't sound like Fern.

Trust me, George, it's all because of this fight she had with Muffy.

Just wait and see.

You're early, I...

Oh, you're that private eye, Buster Baxter.

What are you doing here?

I brought something, a package with your name written all over it.

My name isn't the Mill Creek Mall.

Inside the bag. It's from the heiress Muffy Crosswire.

-An apology in blue, orange, green...

-Oh, yes, I...

-forgot all about our little spat.

-So, that isn't why your sad?

No, it isn't. You fellas are swell, but this dame's still down in the

dumps and a pretty ribbon isn't going to pull her out.

Good day, gentlemen.

See, I told you.

I could have sworn I had this case cracked.

No offence but Virgule Watteau

would have put the clues together by now and...

That's it, clues!

There's one staring us right in the face.

Remember what Fern's just said?

'You're early, I...

'Oh!'

Just who was she expecting?

I was no mathematician, but this story wasn't adding up.

-I don't see anyone suspicious.

-It's a stakeout, be patient.

There's something fishy going on here

and it isn't just this ham and anchovy sandwich.

Want a bite? We could be here for hours.

How long has it been?

15 minutes.

I better get more snacks.

Wait! She's coming out.

-Someone's chasing her.

-Not if we can help it.

You've got nowhere left to turn. Show us who you are.

The Grey Dove.

Uh-oh.

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-I knew you would come to me sooner or later.

When something goes wrong, everyone suspects the Grey Dove. Why?

Just because I'm big and scary-looking

and like to steal things?

That might have something to do with it.

Why were you chasing Fern?

Chasing Fern? I was jogging with the lady.

I told her that exercise would help her kick her bad mood.

Oh. Then why did you run away from us?

Ah, force of habit.

-So you're not the one who upset her in the first place?

-No.

And if I did, I would have sent her a nice apology note.

If you aren't doing this for free, I demand my money back.

Hmm, an apology note.

That gives me one more idea.

It was a crazy plan, but like a kid in a movie theatre

at the end of the film, I was down to my last gumdrop.

So, let me get this straight, you put an apology note on her locker

but you didn't sign it?

That's right.

When she reads it, she'll go to thank someone

and that someone will be our culprit.

Pretty smart, huh?

Here she comes.

And then, in the case with as many twists as a pretzel

on a roller-coaster, we took one last sharp turn.

Ratburn?

I did not see that coming.

Run!

-Buster.

-George.

What are you two doing?

So, nobody made you sad?

I tried to explain it before to George,

sometimes I just get the blues.

Buster, haven't you ever had a bad day for no particular reason?

-I'm not sure.

-Don't worry if you do, you'll feel better soon.

It's kind of like when it rains and rains,

sooner or later the sun always comes out.

-Wow.

-One good part of my blue periods is that

I often get great ideas for my stories.

For example...

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-Virgule Watteau awoke from her stupor

with the answer to the Paris mystery.

The weeks of rain had caused the locks in the zoo to rust

and crumble, so the animals had freed themselves.

Great twist!

The case was solved, the sun was out,

I'd learned something new about the human heart.

But, for some reason, I just felt...

Say, Baxter, why the long face?

Hmm, it's a mystery.

Why don't you tell me all about it

over a bowl of something cold and sweet?

You know, Brain, this could be the beginning of a beautiful,

hot fudge sundae.