It's a No-Brainer/The Shore Thing Arthur

# Every day when you're walking down the street, everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

# And I say, hey! What a wonderful kind of day

# If you could learn to work and play And get along with each other

# Listen to your heart, to the beat Listen to the rhythm of the street

# Open up your eyes, open your ears Make things better working together

# It's a simple message and it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

# And I say, hey! What a wonderful kind of day!

# You can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# What a wonderful kind of day! What a wonderful kind of day! #

Hey, DW!

-Hey!

-Whoa...!

Now, class, there's no reason to be nervous.

Phew!

It's not like this is a punishment.

-Oh!

-Have you ever faced certain doom?

If one of you would volunteer, we wouldn't have to go through this.

-When all that stood between you and total failure...

-OK, last ones.

..was a straw.

ARGH!

Well done. You win the challenge of competing against Brain

in the third grade Math-athon.

-Oh...

-Buster!

Hey!

OK, all I need are some good jokes.

If I make people laugh, maybe it won't matter that I know nothing.

It's a practice. If you get a question wrong, it doesn't matter.

Or one RIGHT! You don't know what it's like to be us.

Please remove reference materials so I can read the first question.

Go easy, Brain, please?

Define "hypotenuse".

-I... N-No. I... Did

-I

-do that?

Yes, you did. You have 5 seconds.

Um... Hi, potenuse!

Very funny, Buster, but we're not at Jack's Joke Shop.

-Brain, would you like to try?

-Go easy, Brain, please...?

Can I...pass?

If you'd like.

What're you doing?! Want these people to think you're an ignoramus?

-'But Buster...'

-"But Buster"(!) He'll be fine.

People think you don't know!

-The side of a trapezoid.

-I'm sorry, Brain, that is wrong.

-It's the side of a triangle.

-Triangle?! Hold on. I'll look it up.

Next question. How many sides does an octagon have? An octagon.

I can't find it any... Oops. He's right.

-Yes, Buster?

-I know. An octagon has eight arms... I-I mean SIDES.

-Correct.

-Good thing I watched Attack Of The Octopus People last night.

..I'm sorry, what was the question?

Too late. Next one. Jack and Jill went to the ice cream parlour.

Oh, no! What's going on out there?

Are they laughing at us?

..if Jill gave her scoop to Jack and Jack traded their scoops for

twice as many scoops of chocolate, how many scoops would he have?

LAUGHTER

Twelve scoops of chocolate.

-GASPS

-Uh-oh...

I BEAT BRAIN!! CHILDREN CHATTER EXCITEDLY

-I knew TV and ice cream were good for you.

-What happened, Brain?

Huh? ..Oh. Um...

OWW! Hello-o! Anybody in there(?)

Stop it, Francine. That's mean!

I'll see you guys later.

I just wanna say, I really respected your ignorance.

Um... Thank you, Binky.

-So, dear, how was your day?

-Chimerical.

And what made it "a fire-breathing monster with a lion's head,

"with a goat's body..."? He must mean definition two.

What made it "absurd or impossible?"

-What would you think if I got anything...wrong?

-Everybody DOES.

-Are you all right?

-I'm just tired.

-I had a big game today at school.

-Do some homework to perk you up.

IQ at 120 and still falling.

115...

-You want to call it?

-May 23rd, 4.53pm.

Patient declared...AVERAGE!

WORD ECHOES

Hmm...

And since Buster performed so well in our class Math-athon,

I offer him the chance to represent us in the intraclass finals...

-CLASS: BUSTER?! Hey!

-This is SO weird.

-Brain's never been absent before.

-Everybody gets sick sometimes.

-Hi, Brain. I was studying for the Math-athon.

-Cool. Here's a present.

He said he wouldn't need it and should pass it to someone who could.

- Who? YOU?! - HEY! I didn't say it, Alan did!

He said Einstein didn't get great grades in school either.

- Who's Alan? - Brain. He said call him Alan now.

You mean...he's not Brain any more?

Nope.

And what's the deal with cafeteria food? Excuse me,

but if I want slop, I can read the treatise on binomial coefficients.

(Laugh, laugh.) And what's WITH substitute teachers?

-Um...hi, Brain. Can we come in?

-(It's Alan.)

-It's Alan.

-And, sure, guys. I can always use an audience.

-WHAT are you doing, Brain?

-(It's Alan.)

-It's Alan.

Things have changed. I'm training for a career in comedy.

-A comedian?!

-It seems like something not requiring intelligence.

-HEY!

Watch this.

..I just smashed an atom.

Why did you stop doing brain stuff?

-Things've changed? How?

-Everything comes to an end. You have Buster.

-Are you crazy?!

-Just practical.

AND willing to face FAX.

-No use crying over spilt milk.

-Stop HIM!

-I know. You're right.

I need a red nose.

We've gotta do something fast! Before he humiliates himself.

- What about US? Without a Brain... - Wait a minute!

Oh. Thanks. ..HEY! Wait a minute!

What makes you think I can't become a brain like Brain...ALAN said?

Brain...I mean Alan, was a Brain, and if a Brain says, "I'm an Alan"...

OK, Einstein. If X = pi times Y cubed, and Y = square root of 78,

how d'you find the value of X? Easy!

BOTH: Really? I just call and ask Brain.

Ooh, I see what you mean.

..Oh, no! I'm in the Math-athon!

OK, if you leave these equations where Brain can find them,

-maybe, he won't be able to stop solving them.

-He'll wanna be Brain?

Yeah! When I was a Brain, 10 minutes ago, I found numbers fascinating.

HAPPY WHISTLING

THEY BLOW

Pencil! Pencil! I need a pencil!

I've got it.

NOOSE-paper!

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-'Yes. Is the BRAIN of the house in?

-Alan!

-Shh! 'Win a trip to Einstein's birthplace if you answer this.

-'Determine the value of X, if Y...'

-HE HANGS UP

Do it like I said, and you can watch Mary Moo Cow for a week.

Hey, how'd HE get this, anyway? They never gave ME a show here!

Is there a mathe-beautician in the house?

YOU look mathy! Help!

-What is it?

-This train left Denver at 12, going 250km per hour.

But then this other train left Miami at 2.30, going 400km an hour.

They're both on the same...

Stop it?! I've accepted the truth. I'm an idiot.

-What's this? Hey! Sneaking math books.

-No, I... It's a prop.

OK, you're right. I don't really wanna do this.

-I wanna do the Math-athon, no matter HOW scary it is.

-Hooray!

Thanks, Alan. OTHERS: It's BRAIN!

-APPLAUSE

-All right.

First question.

Don't be scared! DON'T be scared! Don't be scared!

-I'm SO glad Ratburn let Brain take my place!

-Define pi.

Um... Um... The, um...

-ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter?

-Correct.

LOUD CHEERING

-Yeah?

-Hey, thanks, Bunny, we did it.

-"WE?!" Who IS this?

How did you get this number? Operator?!

Looking forward to something neat is always fun,

especially when you end up with something better than you expected.

Like when Brain and I had to make dessert for a class party.

-These will be great banana splits.

-The ice cream melted! What do we do?

Chocolate banana shakes. What else?

-'Or Buster's best Christmas ever.'

-Wow! Thanks, Santa!

..Daddy! You made it home for Xmas!

'When Pal finally got his new chew toy, but had more fun with the bag.'

Hey! I got something!

Wow, Binky! Real gold!

Who needs that? I found a quarter!

See? You just never know.

Hi!

-HEY!

-What?

-Gotcha!

-Arthur, what's this all about?

-What else? Aqualand.

-Aqua WHAT?

Aqualand...! Come look!

-Aren't you coming?

-I have to cook this.

Dad. Aqualand. TV. Now!

-MUSIC PLAYS

-See, Dad? That's Aqualand.

'Gift Galleon, the Power Coaster, Squid Scrambler!

-'The Great White Sharkade... is Aqualand!'

-Aqualand! Can we go?

-Yeah, the rides are cool.

-They've the best souvenirs!

It's just another amusement park.

-But it's not, it's...

-I know. Aqualand.

I remember a place near the ocean when I was a boy.

-I'll bet it was more fun than...

-Aqua...

-land?

-Yes.

In fact, I'll show you this weekend.

A place more fun than Aqualand?

Impossible!

Nothing's more fun than Aqualand.

Yeah. I hear the Polar Coaster is so cool, they have to defrost it!

-That's it!

-What?

-Dad's home movies have scenes of a park by the beach.

And, man, it had everything!

Rollercoasters, a fun house, even a carousel.

'It looked so neat!'

I think it's called Marine World. Maybe it IS better than Aqualand.

Maybe they have a ride that goes 20,000 leagues under the sea.

How's the water, Captain Nemo?

Or a Hawaiian island "surf's up" simulator.

HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYS Hang ten, dudes!

Ahoy, mates! They must have a pirate ride too.

What took you so long, my boy? Help yourself.

Oh, man! I can't wait to go to Marine World.

Psst, Arthur. I couldn't find my swimming trunks.

-Don't worry. You're fine.

-What do we need swimsuits for, anyway?

You'll see when we get there.

Hey, this is just the beach!

-Don't forget the ocean.

-What about Marine World in your home movies?

Marine World's been gone for years. We're standing where it used to be.

But don't worry, we're going somewhere even better. Ocean Zone!

-Ocean Zone?

-How do we get there?

Oh, you'll know when you find it.

You're good swimmers. Pick a swimming buddy and tell me where you're going.

-What're we going to do now?

-I don't know. There's not much to do here.

-Let's look for Ocean Zone there. We can wade over.

-I'll get my pants wet

-Then how do we get there?

-That's a tough one.

Hey, let's swim across to see if Ocean Zone is on the other side.

-Um...it looks kind of deep.

-No. I'll show you.

Oh. OK. I'll use a bigger rock. ..OH!

Wow! Look at them go!

Hey, sea hares.

Sea hares? Do you think they know Bionic Bunny?

-Sea anemones.

-A starfish!

-Sea stars is the preferred term.

This place is crawling with stuff!

Wow!

-These shells are neat!

-SHE CRIES OUT

HELP! An octopus is grabbing me!

That's just kelp, DW.

Oh... KELP! KELP!!

What's wrong?

I was minding my own business and that kelp attacked me.

Sue Ellen, try looking for Ocean Zone up the beach. We'll be here.

A surf board? OK!

-That's quite a shell collection you have.

-They're not JUST shells.

They're souvenirs.

-Dad, can I borrow something to get to Ocean Zone?

-Whatever you need.

Thanks!

A lobster in its natural habitat.

I wonder what other strange creatures lurk in there.

-SHARK!!

-No, just Mr Ratburn. You should swim with a buddy. Here I am.

A REAL shark!

Relax. It's just a dolphin. See?

A shark has a cartilagineous skeleton and lateral gill slits.

-Dolphins are warm-blooded mammals.

-With a ridiculous sense of humour.

DOLPHIN CHATTERS

Land ho!

Can't you go any faster?

ARTHUR STRAINS

-YOU try being the outboard motor for a change!

-Why?

Then I'll get wet too.

ARTHUR LAUGHS Oh, well, now I'm wet, let's go!

Make sure the walls are extra-strong. I want my shells safe.

Hey, I forgot one!

..Oh! What IS it?!

Just a hermit crab. That shell is its home. Put it down gently.

Beat it! I'm only collecting NICE sea shells, not CRABBY ones!

-We made it! And now let's start looking!

-Looking for what?

Ocean Zone. What else?

- Did you guys find the Ocean Zone? - No, but who cares?

-This place is quite surprising.

-Look! A thrill ride chair!

-Maybe we're close to Ocean Zone...

-CRIES FOR HELP

HE-ELP!

HE-ELP!

-What happened?

-Did someone call for KELP?

We were looking for Ocean Zone. The tide came in. We're stranded.

Hold on - I'll be right back.

I'll be right there, guys.

You made it! All right!

Great! Let's go!

..Hey, why aren't you heading for shore?

We'll go a more exciting way back. How MUCH more exciting?!

Hold on! Here it comes!

Hey! Stop!

-That was fun, wasn't it, DW?

-Sure. REAL fun(!)

-Again.

-Again!

-I want a turn! Me!

So, how d'you like the Ocean Zone?

I don't know. We never found it.

- All we found were tide pools. - And a BIG wave!

I've found enough molluscs for two extra-long lectures and two tests.

What a perfect day!

-I saw a dolphin and...

-My shells! They're gone!

All my shells! Lost for ever!

They weren't really yours, DW. They belong to the...

Ocean. Hey!

This IS the Ocean Zone, isn't it?

Good one, Dad!

-CHATTERING

-Look, more dolphins jumping!

Wow!

# And I say, hey, what a wonderful kind of day

# If you can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# Listen to your heart, to the beat Listen to the rhythm of the street

# It's a simple message And it comes from the start

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

# And I say, hey, what a wonderful kind of day

# If we can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# What a wonderful kind of day. #