I Will Not Ever Never Eat a Tomato Charlie and Lola


I Will Not Ever Never Eat a Tomato

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THEY LAUGH

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Oh! Charlie!

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Lola?

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Charlie.

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Oh! Ooh! Ooh!

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Hmm.

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I have this little sister, Lola. She is small and very funny.

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Ba-di-da.

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'Sometimes Mum and Dad ask me to help give Lola her dinner.'

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'This is a hard job...

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'because Lola is a VERY fussy eater.'

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LOLA SIGHS

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I do not eat peas...

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or carrots...

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or potatoes...

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or mushrooms...

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or spaghetti...

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or eggs...or sausages.

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I do not eat...

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cauliflower, or cabbage,

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or baked beans,

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or bananas,

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or oranges

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and I'm not keen on apples...

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..or rice...

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or cheese...

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or fish fingers.

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And...

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I will not EVER NEVER eat a tomato!

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My sister hates tomatoes.

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So I say,

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"That's lucky, Lola, cos we're not having any of those thing."

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We're not going to eat any peas or carrots or potatoes or mushrooms...

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or spaghetti, or eggs, or sausages.

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There will be no cauliflower, or cabbage, or baked beans,

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bananas or oranges.

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We don't HAVE any apples...

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or rice...or cheese...

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or fish fingers.

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And no tomatoes? Not EVER?

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And certainly no tomatoes.

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But why are these carrots there, Charlie?

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Um...carrots are for rabbits!

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I don't ever eat carrots.

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'One day I thought of a good trick to play on her.'

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"But, Lola..." I said, "..those are not carrots.

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"They're not carrots. They're orange twiglets from Jupiter."

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They look just like carrots to me.

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How can they be carrots?

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Carrots don't grow on Jupiter!

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That's true.

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-ALIEN MAKES STRANGE NOISE

-Well, as they are from Jupiter.

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Mmm. Not bad.

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CHARLIE LAUGHS

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Don't even THINK about giving me a pea.

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I don't ever eat peas.

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Hmm?

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Peas are too small and too green.

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But, Lola, those are not peas. Of course they're not!

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Those are greendrops from Greenland.

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LOLA LAUGHS

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THUNDER RUMBLES

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Greendrops!

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CHARLIE LAUGHS

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But I don't eat green things.

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Goody! More for me then!

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Greendrops!

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Great! Greendrops!

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Greendrops are so incredibly rare!

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Hmm. Well...

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maybe I'll just nibble one or two.

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-"Oh!"

-says Lola.

-"Quite tasty."

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Charlie!

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THEY LAUGHS

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SQUISH!

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-LOLA GIGGLES

-Oh!

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I'll not eat potatoes, so don't even try.

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Not even mash.

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This isn't mash!

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CHARLIE GRUNTS

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This isn't mash...

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..this is cloud fluff from the pointiest peak of Mount Fuji.

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Ooh!

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Oh, well, in that case, a large helping for me.

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Mmm!

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I LOVE to eat cloud.

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THEY YODEL

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YODEL ECHOES

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LOLA CHUCKLES

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GULP!

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"Charlie!"

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Lola said.

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"They look like fish fingers to me and I'll never eat a fish finger."

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So I said, "Fish fingers?!

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"They are NOT fish fingers."

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SEA SHANTY PLAYS

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Lola, they are not fish fingers.

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They are ocean nibbles from under the sea.

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THEY GIGGLE

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Mermaids ALWAYS eat ocean nibbles.

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Why, I've been to the supermarket one time with Mum.

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I always eat what mermaids eat.

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Mmm! Yummy!

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Now my tummy is so absolutely full...

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or orange twiglets, greendrops,

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cloud fluff AND ocean nibbles...

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I can't eat another single thing.

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Not even a tomato?

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I will not EVER NEVER eat a tomato!

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Oh!

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But will you pass me one of those, Charlie?

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And I said,

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"One of those?"

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"But...but...it's a tomato!"

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And she says...

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APPLAUSE

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It is NOT a tomato!

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Ta-da!

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It's not a tomato, it's a moon squirter.

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Moon squirters are my favourite.

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APPLAUSE

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You didn't think they were tomatoes, did you, Charlie?

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Oh!

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LOLA LAUGHS

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Look!

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THEY BOTH LAUGH

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Subtitles by Laura Jones Red Bee Media Ltd 2005

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E-mail us at [email protected]

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