Escape from Big Head Danger Mouse


Escape from Big Head

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Chief!

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger, he'll be there

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-# He's the ace

-The ace

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-# He's amazing

-Amazing

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# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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LOUD BANG

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'Danger Mouse - conqueror of criminals!'

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GIGGLING

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Booey.

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'Danger Mouse - vanquisher of villains.'

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ZOOM

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Argh!

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LOUD BANG

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Aah!

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Penfold - hunter of having a quiet night in.

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Well done, me! Woohoo!

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As I was saying, entirely unnecessary villain chases

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are losing the Danger Agency over 200 hours a week!

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And they make me look fantastic.

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Do sit down, DM. Good chap.

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I give you the very latest in time-saving,

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hi-tech, crime-fighting, super-computer technology!

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She's a beauty. What is it, a time machine, or some such?

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Not that, hang on.

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DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

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TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS

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Hooray!

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Go, Squawky! Go, Squawky! Get your groove on!

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Get your groove on! Go, Squawky!

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Yay.

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I don't mean to sound like Mr Gloomypants, Professor,

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but isn't this the same Big Head that went loopy?

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Yes, but I've reprogrammed her to be 14.8% less crazy mad

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and I've given her a COMPLETELY new name!

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Big Head Two!

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Yay. Hooray.

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HE SIGHS

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Good morning, everyone.

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Utilising a global security camera network

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and my patented Skull-A-Scope,

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I can identify criminal brainwaves worldwide.

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Ooh, that's handy.

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The criminals are then imprisoned immediately

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by my Roboguards and taken to

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a maximum security super prison facility.

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Happy face.

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Take the month off, everyone!

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Professor Squawkencluck has eradicated crime!

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-FANFARE ALL:

-Hurrah!

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I don't know about this, Penfold.

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-Penfold?

-ELEVATOR BELL RINGS

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Penfold, what's wrong?

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You're living with a criminal, chief!

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Show yourself!

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It's me!

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I'm guilty of a terrible crime.

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Big Head's going to spot my criminal brainwaves and lock me up!

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Penfold, you're not a criminal!

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LOUD EXPLOSION DM SCREAMS

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Penfold, prisoner 236652 -

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-guilty.

-SIREN BLARES

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Crumbs!

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Chief!

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Penfold! N-o-o-o-o-o-o!

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Professor Squawkencluck, you need to turn off Big Head.

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HE GASPS

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Where is everyone?

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Where they belong -

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in prison.

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Prisoner 985647.

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What did the Professor do?

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Running a highly dangerous experimental weapons laboratory

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in a residential area.

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Danger Moth, prisoner 453342,

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ten years for harassing light bulbs?

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Hm, fair enough.

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Oh.

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Well, at least it's better than a Siberian Gulag.

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Believe me, we weren't using toothbrushes there!

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Colonel K, prisoner 2387612 -

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illegal moustache length.

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Oh, you're just making crimes up now.

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Prisoner 4573496 -

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Danger Mouse.

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HE GASPS

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HE GRUNTS

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Multiple traffic infringements.

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I was saving the world!

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And picking up my dry-cleaning.

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'Looks like Danger Mouse has a one-way ticket to the slammer!

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'The clink, the chokey!

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Thesaurus abuse.

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'No, unhand me, what are you doing? Get off me!'

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HE GROWLS

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Good grief!

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The first night's the toughest!

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A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye!

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Penfold, pull yourself together. You're not guilty of anything.

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Don't worry, sir, I'll have you out of this computer-generated

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nightmare prison in no time.

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Sh, comrade, you don't want to end up in the salt mines!

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All prisoners to the cafeteria.

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Here's the plan, Penfold.

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You cause a distraction with Danger Moth and the Colonel

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and I'll disable the Roboguards,

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break Squawkencluck into the control centre

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and she can turn off Big Head.

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Go!

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OK, Professor. Let's shut this place down.

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Professor?

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It's just a glitch, it's just a glitch!

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SHE CRIES

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Hmm, looks like I need a plan B.

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Oh.

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Huh?

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Uh?

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I've always said your kind belong inside a cage!

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Here you are, Danger Mouse.

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EVIL LAUGH

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I have an escape plan, but I need your help, Baron.

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Oh!

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And what makes you think I don't have a plan of my own?

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I mean a plan that would work.

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OK, OK, let's hear it.

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'And so with his colleagues out of commission,

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'Danger Mouse teams up with Baron Greenback

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'to escape Big Head's nightmare super prison,

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'leaving me, a complete innocent, incarcerated

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'with only a harmonica.'

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That's my harmonica!

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'Awkward.'

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HE WHISTLES INNOCENTLY

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Wait for it.

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Wait for it.

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Wait for it!

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Now!

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Oh!

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Ooh!

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HE GASPS

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Penfold, come on!

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I'm staying, chief. Prison's my home now.

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How many times do I have to tell you?

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You're not guilty of anything!

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I've done things, chief. Bad things.

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When I was a little hamster, I...

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I borrowed my teacher's pencil and...

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forgot to give it back!

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I ran away as far as I could and worked in the Amazon

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teaching orphan trees how to dance.

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TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYS

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You tried to teach trees to dance because you stole a pencil?

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There's not a day goes by that I don't think about that pencil.

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Mainly because...

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it's here!

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Argh!

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Come on, we haven't got all day!

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-Come on!

-Excuse me!

-Sh! Stop it!

-Hello!

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SOMEONE FARTS

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-Dr Loo-cifer?

-Oh, I see!

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Blame the toilet for the poopy sounds!

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HIGH PITCHED SQUEAK

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Yes, it was me.

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HE GASPS FOR AIR

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Siberia? Oh, good grief. I think we could have stopped digging

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a while ago!

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Siberia? No, no, no!

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Sweet, sweet freedom!

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Come on, run!

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LOUD BANG

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There is no escape.

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You have all been very naughty.

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Professor, Big Head must have some weakness.

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Sorry, she's pretty much perfect.

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No-one's perfect.

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Apart from me, obviously. Then again, my escape plan

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didn't work, so maybe I'm not perfect either.

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-HE GASPS

-Wait, that's it, Professor!

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You're so brilliant, I could kiss you!

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Um, she went back to her cell.

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New plan! What we need is a good old-fashioned prison riot.

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Now you're talking!

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Let's flush this joint away!

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Oh!

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Revolution! Freedom for the workers!

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Votes for moustaches! Ah!

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Oh, crumbs! If anyone needs me, I'll be in my cell

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doing a wordsearch.

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Come on, Penfold. We've got a super-computer to bamboozle!

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Big Head...

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I challenge you to...

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a wordsearch puzzle.

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That is no challenge for me. Go away.

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-Scared, are you?

-Big Head does not get scared.

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Well, this one does. Doesn't she, Penfold?

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Doesn't look very scared... Oh!

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Oh, yeah, what a scaredy computer!

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All right, fine. Give me a pencil.

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With pleasure. Penfold?

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Tut-tut, handling stolen goods, Big Head?

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Caught you red-handed!

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Stolen goods detected!

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Stolen goods detected!

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Imprison Big Head, logic overload.

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Imprison Big Head, logic overload.

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MACHINE LOSES CONTROL OVER SPEECH

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She's going to blow!

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I am the law!

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I am the law!

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-COLONEL K COUGHS

-Mm, yes.

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Um, well, well done, team. Carry on.

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'I'm free! I'm free! I'm...'

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MICROPHONE SQUEAKS 'Are we on?

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'Oh, good heavens.

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'So, Danger Mouse once again saves the world

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'and everything is back to normal.

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'I said, everything is back to normal!

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Run for it, Stiletto!

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'That's more like it!

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'Join us next week for more liberating adventures of

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'Danger Mouse!'

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse. #

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LOUD BANG

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