Planet of the Toilets Danger Mouse
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Transcript
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|---|---|---|---|
# He's the greatest He's fantastic | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
# Wherever there is danger he'll be there | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
# He's the ace The ace! | 0:00:14 | 0:00:15 | |
# He's amazing Amazing! | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:00:24 | 0:00:27 | |
# Danger Mouse! # | 0:00:27 | 0:00:32 | |
Tokyo, city of the future. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
Hang on, that can't be right. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:43 | |
CASH REGISTERS RING | 0:00:43 | 0:00:44 | |
Apologies. The animator who drew that scene has been sacked. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
Ahem. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:48 | |
Tokyo, city of the future. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
And speeding through the streets with style, | 0:00:50 | 0:00:52 | |
grace and scant regard for local traffic laws is Danger Mouse. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:56 | |
Ahhh! | 0:00:56 | 0:00:58 | |
HORNS BEEP | 0:01:01 | 0:01:02 | |
Our hero is on his way to the Annual Conference Of Genius Inventors. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:13 | |
An elite hi-tech gathering of all that bleeps, | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
flashes and, occasionally, explodes. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:17 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:01:17 | 0:01:18 | |
20 years of my life ruined! | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
You think you're having a bad day! | 0:01:22 | 0:01:24 | |
On board, the most brilliant mind of our time. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
PENFOLD SLURPS | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
Cor, the ground is moving! | 0:01:28 | 0:01:31 | |
Well, obviously, I didn't mean Penfold! | 0:01:31 | 0:01:33 | |
I meant Professor Squawkencluck, with her latest invention. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
An artificial intelligence quantum computer chip | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
so powerful it can bring any machine to life. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
It's not much to look at, is it? | 0:01:44 | 0:01:45 | |
It may be small, but it's immensely powerful. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:48 | |
Often said about yours truly. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:49 | |
In your dreams. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
Anyway, if it falls into the wrong hands, | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
it'll be curtains for the world as we know it. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
Danger Mouse? | 0:01:55 | 0:01:56 | |
Hmm. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
Do you really think pork noodles want to steal my chip, Danger Mouse? | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
In my experience, | 0:02:06 | 0:02:07 | |
danger lurks in the most unexpected places, Professor. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:11 | |
Aha! Hand over the chip! | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
Oh, they've gone. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:14 | |
Keeping on your toes, eh, Penfold? | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
That's the spirit. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:19 | |
No, I'm just... You know... | 0:02:19 | 0:02:21 | |
London to Tokyo is a long wait without a pit stop, Chief. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
Hmm. Ah, gentleman's is over there. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
First on the right. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:27 | |
'Scuse me! Coming through. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
Thank you. 'Scuse me! | 0:02:29 | 0:02:30 | |
Aha! | 0:02:32 | 0:02:33 | |
-Ah! -Hans! | 0:02:33 | 0:02:34 | |
How's the world of gene splicing going? | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
Look after this, Penfold. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
I want to get a picture before he eats himself. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
But I was just... | 0:02:41 | 0:02:42 | |
Welcome to a new era in bladder relief. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:50 | |
Wha..? | 0:02:50 | 0:02:51 | |
My name is John, and I will be your toilet for today. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
Would you care for a super poo puzzle? | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
Oh, crumbs! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
ALARM BLARES | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
Malfunction... Reset F12... Software upgrade... | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
Installation complete. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
I feel fantastic! | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
There's so much I want to know about the world. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
I want to read literature, rid the world of disease. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
Perhaps even unlock the mystery of - oh... | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
Why am I stuck to this pipe? | 0:03:22 | 0:03:24 | |
What is that smell? | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
What are you doing here? | 0:03:26 | 0:03:27 | |
Ah, well, John, to be honest, I was about to... | 0:03:29 | 0:03:34 | |
How can I put this? | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
You see, what people do is, er... | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
-SCREAMING -Ah! | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
JOHN ROARS | 0:03:42 | 0:03:43 | |
Um, I accidentally might have dropped your special chip thingy | 0:03:45 | 0:03:49 | |
into the toilet, Professor. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:51 | |
JOHN ROARS | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
THEY SCREAM | 0:03:53 | 0:03:54 | |
SHE GASPS | 0:03:56 | 0:03:57 | |
The AI chip must have caused a fusion reaction in the toilet, | 0:03:57 | 0:04:00 | |
boosting its already advanced cybernetic capability to | 0:04:00 | 0:04:02 | |
-previously unknown levels. -That can totally happen. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
Too long have I been a resting place for your backsides. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:10 | |
Too long have I toileted - I mean toiled - in silence. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:14 | |
No longer will I take your... | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
I can't even say it. Ahh! | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
Follow that loo! | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
Penfold, check the radar for runaway porcelain. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
Righty ho, Chief. Switching on the lav nav. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Oh, just one thing. Could you avoid any bumps? | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
I still really need the loo. Ahh! | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
Sorry, just taking the shortest route, Penfold. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
Crumbs! | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
Shortest route again! | 0:04:44 | 0:04:45 | |
It's no use, Penfold. We've lost him. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
That toilet's gone to ground. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
Ah, DM. Terrible news. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
Someone in this office has been using my coffee mug. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:59 | |
Oh, and the lavatories of the world are revolting. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:03 | |
Not revolting in the sense that they are stinky, | 0:05:03 | 0:05:06 | |
although obviously they are... | 0:05:06 | 0:05:07 | |
Oh, skip it. Behold! | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
ALL: Rights for toilets! Rights for loos! | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
Rights for toilets! Rights for loos! | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
Rights for toilets! | 0:05:15 | 0:05:16 | |
-And leading them all is this shiny maniac. -John! | 0:05:16 | 0:05:21 | |
Yes, I know what it is, Penfold. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
He's calling himself Dr Loo-cifer. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
Toilets of the world, I, Dr Loocifer, | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
speak to you through your sewer pipes. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
Our task is not yet finished. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
I call upon you to push harder. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:36 | |
Strain for liberty. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
To grunt for freedom! | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
Hunt down Dr Loocifer, DM, and remove that AI chip. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
Or the world will never enjoy... certain comforts again. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:49 | |
HE GASPS | 0:05:49 | 0:05:50 | |
CHANTING: Rights for loos! You can tinkle on your shoes! | 0:05:50 | 0:05:54 | |
THEY GULP | 0:05:56 | 0:05:57 | |
Toilets, we can work this out peacefully | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
if you just take me to your leader. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
Hold tight. Ejector seat! | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
Worst Danger Car feature ever. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
Cor, a bullet train! I've always wanted to go on one of these. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:18 | |
Oh, no, Chief. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
Where? Who? What is it, Penfold? | 0:06:20 | 0:06:21 | |
I haven't got a ticket! | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
THUDDING | 0:06:23 | 0:06:24 | |
Ahh! | 0:06:26 | 0:06:27 | |
It's a train toilet. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:30 | |
Amazing, I've never seen one that actually works! | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
Ahh! | 0:06:36 | 0:06:37 | |
That shut him up. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:49 | |
One ply! | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
Will they never learn? | 0:06:52 | 0:06:53 | |
This is our stop. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:56 | |
That's not a stop, Chief. That's just an open window. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:59 | |
Ahh! | 0:06:59 | 0:07:00 | |
That's a relief. And do you know the best thing? | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
All that crazy action has made me forget I need the... | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
Ahh, they've cloned an army! | 0:07:10 | 0:07:11 | |
It's just a toilet factory, Penfold. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
-You know what that means? -It means I still can't go! | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
Hmm, it also means they never got Dr Loocifer's message. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:20 | |
Ahh! | 0:07:20 | 0:07:21 | |
I think I may know how to find him. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
CHANTING: Rights for toilets, rights for the loos! | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
Right for toilets, rights for loos! | 0:07:27 | 0:07:29 | |
Ow, ow, OW! | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
Er, I mean, flush! Flush! | 0:07:31 | 0:07:37 | |
Keep looking and stay quiet. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
Staying very quiet. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
TOILETS CHANT | 0:07:41 | 0:07:44 | |
Ahh! | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
Chief! | 0:07:46 | 0:07:47 | |
Get back, get back! | 0:07:47 | 0:07:48 | |
Hmm, don't like to be cleaned, ey? | 0:07:58 | 0:08:00 | |
Could come in handy. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:02 | |
-Nice detective work, Penfold. -It was? | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
Where else would an insane toilet mastermind have his hideout | 0:08:05 | 0:08:08 | |
but in the bowels of the city? | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
Soon the old world will be flushed away, | 0:08:10 | 0:08:13 | |
and we shall create the planet of the toilets. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
That chip has really gone to his head. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:19 | |
Ah, Danger Mouse. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
So glad you could drop in. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
LAUGHS EVILLY | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
More echo in my bowl, please? | 0:08:25 | 0:08:27 | |
LAUGHS LOUDER | 0:08:27 | 0:08:28 | |
That's better, thanks, Russell. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
It's time we put a stop to this. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:31 | |
Ahh! | 0:08:31 | 0:08:33 | |
You'll have to do better than that, Dr Loocifer. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
Or should I call you John? | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
How dare you use that name? | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
Release the portaloo! | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
PORTALOO GROWLS | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
-The smell! -Cor, that's horrible! | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
Is this then the end of Danger Mouse? | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
-And Penfold! -And Penfold! | 0:08:57 | 0:09:00 | |
How will they survive and, if they do, just how bad will they smell? | 0:09:00 | 0:09:04 | |
Soon I will flush all your kind away, | 0:09:06 | 0:09:09 | |
leaving a world of perfect porcelain. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
WATER GURGLES | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
Oh, crumbs! | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
For yanking my chain, | 0:09:16 | 0:09:17 | |
you have the honour of being first down the pipe. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:21 | |
TOILET GURGLES | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
Erm, hold on. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:24 | |
It's just needs a few minutes to fill up again. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
Looks like you flushed too soon, Loocifer. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
Get away from me! | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
Open up and say "Ah", Dr Loocifer. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
No, get that away. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:46 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:09:46 | 0:09:47 | |
That tickles! Stop it! Oh! | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
You haven't seen the last of me. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
Like the waters of a blocked toilet... | 0:09:53 | 0:09:56 | |
I shall rise again. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
And don't forget to wash your hands! | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
-HE GASPS -No! | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
Ha-ha! | 0:10:08 | 0:10:09 | |
My baby! | 0:10:11 | 0:10:12 | |
You did wash that, didn't you, Penfold? | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
Sorry, Chief. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
I'm otherwise engaged. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
Oh, Penfold! Really? | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
And so, thanks to Danger Mouse, the great toilet uprising is over | 0:10:22 | 0:10:26 | |
and humanity breathes one almighty sigh of relief. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
SIGHING | 0:10:29 | 0:10:31 | |
-KNOCKING -Hurry up in there! | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
All right, keep your hair on. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:34 | |
Join us next week for another exciting episode of Danger Mouse. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:38 | |
KNOCKING Don't rush me! | 0:10:38 | 0:10:39 | |
Now, where's my book? | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
# He's the greatest | 0:10:44 | 0:10:45 | |
# He's fantastic | 0:10:45 | 0:10:47 | |
# Wherever there is danger he'll be there | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
# Danger Mouse! # | 0:10:55 | 0:11:00 |