Big Trouble in Little Clowntown Danger Mouse


Big Trouble in Little Clowntown

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CHIEF!

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AH!

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# He's the greatest He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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-# He's the ace

-The ace

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-# He's amazing

-Amazing

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# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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London, centre of the world, according to proper British maps.

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And our hero Danger Mouse

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is engaged in a deadly serious mission...

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DANGER MOUSE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

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..while Professor Squawkencluck

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monitors the situation from a top-secret location.

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DANGER MOUSE CACKLES OVER RADIO

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Danger Mouse, stop that ridiculous cackling.

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What kind of cackling would you prefer, Professor?

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CACKLING CONTINUES

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None! Just get my Seriousizer ray back from whoever stole it!

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And then use it on yourself... Do you have eyes on the vehicle?

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No need! It's already got eyes!

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DANGER MOUSE GIGGLES

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Oh, oh, I love clowns.

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Clowns?! AH!

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HORN TOOTS

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Who's THIS clown?

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HORN BLARES

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-Crumbs!

-Add littering to the charges.

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Engage confetti dispersal system.

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THEY GASP

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You just obstructed an official and a very exciting car-chase sequence.

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And you just stopped me catching the most wanted clown in Bozoria!

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Wanted? I thought everything was all fun and happy on Bozoria.

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Well, it is, but our ex-president Pompom hates it.

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He and his Henchclowns came to Earth

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to form a clown mafia - the Coco Nostra.

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They set up Clowntown in London. How can you not know about this?

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I suppose I must have let my subscription

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to Clown Monthly expire.

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Ooh! Free toy!

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-They're always disappointing, aren't they?

-I'm Special Agent Cupcake.

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My sources told me

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Pompom is after a weapon that will strip Bozoria of all laughter.

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RADIO CRACKLES

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Danger Mouse, did you get my Seriousizer?

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That's Professor Squawkencluck.

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She invented the device you're talking about. You'd like her.

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Get it back from those awful, hideous clowns!

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Ah, they're so horrible!

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Yes, slightly clown averse.

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But don't worry about the device, Cupcake.

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There's no way Pompom can unlock its secret technology without

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-Squawk's help.

-And, her location is brilliantly disguised...

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-HE WHISPERS:

-..as that red truck.

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SQUAWKENCLUCK SCREAMS

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-Oh, crumbs!

-Ah, DM, excellent parking as always.

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Now, report to HQ immediately.

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On our way, Colonel. Come on, Penfold.

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We'll take the Danger Board.

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Nice to meet you, Cupcake. We'll take it from here.

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How did you get here before us?

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Well, I just fixed my high-speed pursuit platform and drove.

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Fixed it? Ha, with what? A rubber band?

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Uh, we call it a super transtwiddler spring string but,

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essentially, yeah, rubber band.

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Ahem, listen up.

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I can't tell you how serious this Seriousizer is!

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So, I'll just play this film instead.

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The Seriousizer works by removing all frivolity

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and silliness at a molecular level.

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-Observe.

-She must have been testing it on herself.

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PUPPY BARKS HAPPILY

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The end.

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This matter is of vital importance to the Bozorian Government,

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so I've asked President Crumples to join us.

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TOOTING

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HE LAUGHS

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We have tracked Pompom's location to Clowntown.

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Agent Cupcake will take the lead in this investigation.

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DANGER MOUSE LAUGHS

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Oh, brilliant! Crumples, you always were hilarious!

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What?

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-He's not serious?!

-Sorry, DM. It's Clowntown.

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We don't want to put their red noses out of joint.

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DANGER MOUSE GROANS, HORN BLASTS

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Tell us how your wonderful Earth device works or I'll have to

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use a wonderful Earth device on you!

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SHE SCOFFS

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Playing tough, eh? Tiny Phil, go to work.

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SHE WHIMPERS

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-Ah, no, mercy!

-Oh, come on, he hasn't done anything yet!

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Please, put me in the spiky box! Anything! Just keep the clown away!

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JAUNTY MUSIC

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SHE SCREAMS

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Make it stop!

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Make it stop!

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CIRCUS MUSIC

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Gah! You imbecile!

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I'm supposed to remain out of sight for dramatic effect!

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Why is this ladder even here?

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Please, please, this is so cruel!

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NOSE PARPS

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-Who's Clowntown bound?

-Name's Cupcake!

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Come on in, Cupcake!

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Who's Clowntown bound?

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-I am. I'm a...clown.

-Clown name?

-What? Oh, um...

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Ah, ah-ha! Kebab.

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Enter, Kebab the Clown.

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Ooh, who's Clowntown bound?

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Oh...carrots!

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Come on in, Carrots!

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PENFOLD GIGGLES

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You know, Miss 'ncluck, we're on the same side.

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I don't like silly clowns either, so, why not just tell me

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what I want to know, and I won't have to hu...

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BUZZING

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What?!

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SQUAWKENCLUCK SQUEAKS

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Ah! More clowns! No! I give up!

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No, Professor, it's me, Kebab!

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I mean, Danger Mouse!

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The Seriousizer runs on the opposite of fun! B-B-B-Brussels sprouts!

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The secret is mine!

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And I couldn't have done it without the help of my good friend

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Danger Clown.

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Oh, why didn't I think of that? It's much better than Kebab.

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Danger Mouse, I'm sorry!

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I couldn't take any more!

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Don't worry, Professor, at least now he's got the information

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he wants, we're probably free to go, right?

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Imprisoned in Pompom's evil Clown Ship, the Professor and Cupcake are

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forced to build a Seriousizerer big enough to affect a whole planet!

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I can't take the smell of sprouts much longer, Chief.

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We need to get out of here!

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-I knows!

-Great, so, how do we escape?

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No, I just told you - the eye nose!

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It's a piece of Cupcake's clown tech,

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a multifunction orb concealed in my nose.

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To the ship's bridge.

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POMPOM: That ray better be ready soon or you'll find

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yourself wearing a pair of custard sneakers!

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-Do you know how to use this?

-It's a pathyflipper. Who doesn't?

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I'd appreciate some...help.

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Ah, well, you just use it like this to build a simple ridiculator

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and spronk it to a fwesilizer.

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It's basic clown science.

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What? You never heard of clown science?

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-How do you think we get 20 clowns into a tiny car?

-Um...

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Butter them up?

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CUPCAKE LAUGHS

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No, it's clown science. Nano technology.

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Nano technology, but with bananas.

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We're nearly done and this device

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will change my planet forever.

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What are we going to do?

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SQUELCHING

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It's a bit loud, the squishing.

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What? I can't hear you for all the squishing.

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Hang on. Follow my lead.

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POMPOM CACKLES

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Laugh while you still can, Bozoria.

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It'll be your last laugh.

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Ah, the scientist!

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Thanks to you, the giant Seriousizer is fully operational.

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I thought you'd like to watch as it wipes the smile off a whole planet!

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Pompom, you pompompous fool!

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Bozoria has never been a happier place,

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why do you want to destroy that?

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Because clowns are meant to be serious.

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And, soon, thanks to me, they all will be!

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HE CACKLES

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Noooo!

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MANIACAL GIGGLING

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What did you do?!

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Oops, I must have reset it to super-silly billy!

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THEY LAUGH

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BLARING

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BEEPING

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All right, Pompom, put your feet up! I mean, your hands up.

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PENFOLD SCREAMS

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SQUAWKENCLUCK LAUGHS

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Noooo!

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Danger Mouse, you can take the lead from here.

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It's time to take Pompom into CUSTARDY!

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Looks like someone has beaten me to it!

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THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY

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And, so, thanks to our heroes, Bozoria is safe once more

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and Professor Squawkencluck has learned that most important

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of lessons - that deep, deep down, we're all just a bunch of clowns.

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# He's the greatest

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# He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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