Roll of the Mice Danger Mouse


Roll of the Mice

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CHIEF!

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PENFOLD SCREAMS

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# He's the greatest He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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-# He's the ace

-The ace

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-# He's amazing

-Amazing

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# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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CACKLING

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There are three things a danger agent loves more than anything...

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..catching criminals...

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..thrilling chases, and, of course, board games.

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-I hate board games, Penfold.

-Well, two out of three isn't bad.

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Oh, please play it with me! We never play games!

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That's because they're boring!

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Why pretend to fight dragons when you can do it for real?

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-Hmm...

-Oh! Is it supposed to do that?

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I'll read the instructions.

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PENFOLD YAWNS

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See? Even you're bored and I'm practically falling asleep...

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Penfold? I'm not playing Hide and Seek again unless there are monsters

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and no hiding places.

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Huh?

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Well, I like what you've done with the hallway, Penfold.

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The deserted Bavarian village of Greenback look is very now.

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Jeopardy Mouse? Hazard Mouse? Danger Cash?

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-Oh, great, Danger Mouse is here. Whoop-de-doo.

-Oh, careful, Jeopardy.

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-That sounded sarcastic.

-You don't say.

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Danger Cash.

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Danger Mouse, may your shared portfolio overflow with

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interest, or, as you say on Earth, hi.

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Hey, the peoples of Greenback, they are massive,

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-wingy lizards with the hot breath, yes?

-Not really.

-Oh, OK.

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Then we are being attacked by a dragon.

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Hah! It will take more than that to defeat...

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-Leave this to...

-Me.

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There's plenty of dragon for everyone! No need to snatch.

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HE SCREAMS

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Oh, if only we had some kind of net.

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Great idea. We'll just wait for one to fall out of the sky.

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Again, anyone else might think that was... Oh.

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Hmm. I seem to have magic wish powers - that's new.

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I wish Jeopardy's mouth had a zip.

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-Worth a try.

-Look out! We're danger rich and safety poor!

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Hah!

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ALL: Huh?

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KNOCKING ON GLASS

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This confusion and uncertainty is not good for my worry portfolio.

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Whatever that means, it's worse than that, much worse. We're in a game.

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Who in their right mind would play games with the galaxy's top

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three agents...and Danger Mouse?

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He might. And I think I preferred it when you were being sarcastic.

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Hey, DM! Want to play a game?

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HE CACKLES

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I think you know my new best friend - Penfold!

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More hostage than friend.

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We're playing Danger Mouse Home Edition!

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Ooh, board games!

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-Penfold!

-I mean, I'll never play your twisted games!

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I'll deal with him.

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Ian, this is your idol speaking.

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-I want you to stop this immediately and put us back to normal.

-Sure.

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If you win the next round against...hmm...let me see.

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Eenie, meanie, even bigger meanie, my-meanie, mo-meanie,

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I choose balloon monsters!

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Choose whoever you like, I don't play games!

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Choose the balloon monsters! They're my favourites!

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-I heard that!

-I mean, I am having no part of this, you fiend!

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Fine by me - without DM playing and without the special weapons

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I was going to let Penfold choose, I can't lose!

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Game on!

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Agents, you're about to learn the dangers of inflation!

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Or, as we probably say in Italia, il chargo!

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-I'm not playing games.

-Fine!

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Frankly, I could do without the earache.

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BALLOON MONSTERS GROWL

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Grab something sharp!

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Leave it to me. My fingernails are made of diamond!

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He's even shaved the hedgehogs!

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Whee!

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Looks like they could do with a special weapon with a point to it.

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Fordo mondeo!

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These houses have nothing but spoons!

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How do these people eat-a spaghetti?

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BALLOON STOMACH SQUEAKING

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I won't do games, but I don't mind a rescue.

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Well, I wouldn't say rescue, I was... Look out!

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That was a rescue.

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Come on, Penfold.

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Are you going to let DM get ballooned or are you going to play?

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PENFOLD MOANS

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All right! But I'm only doing this out of loyalty.

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The fact that I really, really want to is not important.

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I choose special weapon - a pin.

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No pins!

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It clearly says so in the rules that only exist in my head.

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All right.

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And is there anything in the rules about cardigans?

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Smart move, Penfold! Wool is a balloon's worst enemy.

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Static! Lucky you're not as dumb as you look. Or act. Or sound.

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Thank you. I...think.

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BALLOON MONSTERS POPPING

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We won the game. Now, let us go.

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Uh, didn't I say? It's best of three!

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What about the dragon? I meant best of five.

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All right, that takes care of that.

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Seize your assets!

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Best of seven!

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Best of nine!

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HOUSES ROAR

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CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

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Best of 11!

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OK, stop! This has been great fun, but the game can't go on forever.

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That's exactly how long it can go on for.

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We're playing games with friends. Why would we ever stop?

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Are you having fun, little ones?

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There's just one small problem!

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I'm about to fire the shrinketiser at you

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and it'll make you small, hence, a SMALL problem.

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IRRITATED MUTTERING

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HE GASPS

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HE SCREAMS

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Penfold? You brought the shrinketiser to us? Brilliant idea!

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Um... Oh, yes, yes, that's exactly what I was trying to do.

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If you're not going to play with me, I might as well destroy the game!

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And guess who's shrunk the Giant Planet Crusher?

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HE CACKLES

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Too late, Ian! We have the shrinketiser!

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Penfold, activate the bigetiser setting!

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Shrink us back! Shrink us back!

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OK, new plan.

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We need something to crack the glass,

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something hard with a pointed edge and...

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Hmm.

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It's my head, isn't it?

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HE BREAKS WIND

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Ooh, sorry, I always release a little equity when I'm nervous.

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One, two, three.

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Oh, um, hi, I'm Ian, I'm a big fan, actually.

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OK, well, goodbye.

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Too big! TOO BIG!

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HE CHUCKLES

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Best of 13?

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I just wanted someone to play with.

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Good luck finding one - now you're in solitary confinement.

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Come on, Penfold.

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Erm, I'll catch up, Chief.

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-Fancy a game before I go?

-Really?

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Ooh, bagsy I get to be Danger Mouse.

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You can be Penfold because he stinks and no-one wants to be him.

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Well, so much for the soppy ending.

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And, that is game over for Ian the Danger fan.

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Because the episode is about games, and it's over and... No, hang on!

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Let me explain this because it's worth it!

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# He's the greatest He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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