There's Something About Scarlett Danger Mouse

# He's the greatest

# He's fantastic

# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

# He's the ace

# He's amazing

# He's the strongest

# He's the quickest

# He's the best

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #

Excitement, adventure,

what deadly disaster is Danger Mouse hurtling towards?

Careful, that toast is too hot to handle.

Sorry, Chief. I got distracted. Scarlett's asked ME on a date.

Either that or she wants to eat me.

Scarlett Johamster, the movie star, has asked you on a date?

Yeah! But what if I mess it up?

You won't because I'll train you for this deadly mission.

Er, I mean, date. If I know one thing about women,

it's that they love being rescued by heroes.

Penfold, women don't want heroes.

All we really want is good conversation

-and the ability to...

-Diffuse a bomb!

-..to listen to what we say.

-Don't listen to her, Penfold.

I know how to impress a girl.

There, the perfect hero.

You look amazing. Mmm, what's that smell?

Thanks very much. I should imagine it's the bacon we had for breakfast.

Excellent conversation, Penfold.

-My training has really paid off.

-Conversation training?!

Oh, that's ridiculous. Penfold, hero time. Diffuse this bomb.

Argh!

Penfold, focus. You're holding a bomb. How does that make you feel?

Aaaah! You look amazing. Mmm, what's that smell?

Well, OK.

That's a start.

No more time to practise.

HE WHISTLES

-Enjoy your date, Penfold.

-Call us if you need us!

They grow up so fast.

-I think I'm going to...

-Cry.

No! Follow him and spy on the date.

EXPLOSION

Oh.

-What are you doing?

-I'm flexing my triceratops.

-Wow, it's kind of oddball.

-No, it's a kind of dinosaur.

Top up on your jam, sir?

Chief! What are you doing here?

Helping.

I've got some deadly quicksand in the back

if you need to rescue her from something.

You look amazing. What's that smell?

Have...you got cue cards?

Yes, sorry. It's silly, I know.

I was worried I might mess this up.

But I was worried that I might!

I don't think anything could ruin this evening!

Salut, my little dairy wedges!

SCREAMING

It is I, Aubrey le Camembert!

BOTH: The Camem-bear?!

Scarlett, a big movie star like you deserves to be with a big cheese -

like me.

Penfold, I challenge you to a du-el.

Oh, crumbs!

Prepare to meet your grater!

Uh-oh-oh...

Cheese is off the menu...

apart from the omelette and most of the pasta dishes,

and obviously the cheesecake.

Do you think we could try again?

A second date? Sure!

Bring your triceratops.

-I think that went rather well.

-It did not.

How can I impress Scarlett if you keep saving me?

Penfold, you're right. Next time, you'll be the hero.

I'll just stay in and watch TV with the Professor.

Good job I didn't say what we'd be watching on TV.

BOTH: So, tell me about your feelings.

BOTH LAUGH

This is terrible. Where's the danger? Where's the excitement?

-Hey, Scarlett! I'm a big fan!

-Of my movies?

No.

Of you ditching Short Trousers and getting with me.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ah, there it is. Excuse me.

I've only got one thing to say to you, Bad Boy.

SHE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

My perfect woman.

Didn't you hear the lady, Bad Boy? She said...

PENFOLD BLOWS A RASPBERRY

Whoa-hey-hey!

THEY SCREAM

Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Whoaaaaargh!

I think we've heard the last of him.

No, you haven't.

Ooft!

OK, maybe you have.

-You promised not to rescue him.

-No, I promised not to be a hero.

I didn't say anything about not making him look like one.

With my heroics and Penfold's...whatever it is,

how can Scarlett resist him?

Ugh, ugh!

Hee-yah!

Sorry, Tsarfish, this time, you are out of your depth.

SCARLETT SOBS

I'm sorry, Penfold. This isn't going to work out.

Scarlett.

Penfold, I think that might be enough break-up ice cream now.

What a surprise, the hero thing didn't work out.

Maybe it's time YOU did a bit of listening.

Nope. I think it's time I did a bit of listening...

To Scarlett.

-Why does everyone keep fighting over me all the time?

-Yes. It's terrible.

Really sad.

So, how much more fighting do you think Penfold should have done?

None! No more. I hate fighting.

I thought Penfold was different.

I thought he was kind and Penfold-y, but he's just like all the others.

SHE SOBS

Oh, ah. All right. Um, awkward.

Look, Penfold IS Penfold-y, you see,

and you'll laugh when you hear this, I was the one who kept saving...

Chief?

What are you doing?

It's OK, I'm just telling Scarlett how cowardly you are.

You're stealing my girlfriend. Aaaaah!

-SCARLETT SIGHS

-Just like all the others.

Oh, no.

Scarlett, I have crossed universes for you.

I want to shout about our love to the heavens and then destroy them.

It's Baron Silas Von Penfold from the Twistyverse!

Hang on, Scarlett. I'm coming.

-No, no, he's not. He's not a hero. He's soft and weedy.

-Oh!

You ARE trying to steal her. Aaaah!

Excitement, adventure,

and he's already fallen into the water.

But here comes Danger Mouse, leaping into action as he tries to

make up for ruining all of Penfold's dates.

Chief, what's he talking about?

Um... Watch out, lasers!

Don't "Watch out, lasers!" me. He said you ruined my dates.

I didn't ruin them, I rescued them.

You rescued me after I asked you not to? And you're doing it again.

All right, I'm sorry. No more rescues.

Oh.

So. Finally face-to-face with my pathetic love rival, Danger Mouse.

-What? No, Penfold is your pathetic love rival.

-Humph.

Well, neither of you stand a chance.

If I know one thing about women, it is that they love a villain.

And so I am going to turn your solar system into the galaxy's

biggest box of chocolates and every one is for you, my sweet.

Apart from the strawberry cream, I'm having that.

-When will you all learn? This is not the way to impress me.

-Silence.

And prepare for a planet-sized hazelnut praline.

With a light dusting of Danger Mouse!

Penfold, reach back and grab my emergency escape laser.

I'm sorry, didn't you hear me earlier? I said, "Humph."

OK, where's this escape stuff?

Here we go.

Or...maybe not.

There's only a few seconds left for me to apologise.

Penfold, I was wrong. A hero is the last thing Scarlett needs.

I think you're perfect just as you are, so why shouldn't she?

-Oh, I can't stay cross with you.

-Me neither.

So, would either of you mind if I saved us all?

Just do it!

Eat this, darling!

Ooh!

Aaaaah!

Well done, Penfold. You knocked out the Baron.

I'll leave you two alone.

So, how'd you feel about a nice, quiet, uneventful date?

Are you kidding? We just saved the solar system! I feel amazing!

Let's do it again but more dangerous!

Drive!

It was incredible. We should go to space and fight stuff.

# He's the greatest

# He's fantastic

# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #