Dry Hard Danger Mouse

# He's the greatest

# He's fantastic

# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

# He's the ace

# He's amazing

# He's the strongest

# He's the quickest

# He's the best

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #

SCREAM!

What terrible horror is being inflicted on our heroes?

What hideous fate has befallen...?

Oh, they're watching telly.

Uh, they call that a horror film?

They should see Colonel K on the dance floor. Ha-ha-ha.

Well, bedtime. See you in the morning, Penfold.

Another glorious day and...

Penfold?

Aaaaah! Help!

Ooh, what, whence, wheretofore? Show yourself.

-This isn't about that silly, scary film?

-Angh, angh, aaaah...

N-No...

-So, shall we watch it again?

-Aaaah!

Calamity, DM.

Aaaah!

It's the Baron.

And so with just two nuclear rods, you can

give your cake a nutty taste

and a half-life of ten million years.

But I didn't come here to talk about my new cookbook.

I'm here to unveil my latest doomsday device...

The tap.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

You won't be laughing when your planet is underwater.

Behold! My aquatic empire. Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha.

And remember, my cookbook is available from all good book shops.

And the evil ones!

Stop him, DM. And before 7.45.

I have Scouts.

I'm hoping to get my Spying badge.

Drat! That's meant to be a secret.

Failed again.

Penfold, to the Danger Car.

You know, I'm not sure you're up to a major global crisis today.

Are there any m-minor global crisises I could have a look at?

Penfold, I promise your part of the plan is just as important as mine.

I just don't see how baking muffins is going to stop Aquageddon.

This isn't because you don't think I'm up to doing my job today?

Certainly not, Penfold. He's not up to doing his job today.

Well, he's in the safest place.

HQ is the only 100% waterproof building in the world.

We're here, Professor. You might feel a slight bump when I'm parking.

The game's up, Greenback.

Oh...

It was pre-recorded, wasn't it?

The Baron could be anywhere by now.

Here, of course, if I was setting off a device that floated the world,

I'd make sure I was in the only waterproof building on the planet.

But what do I know?

I'm only in this scene.

But Penfold is...

..home alone!

ALL: Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Professor, I need you to be my sidekick.

Think, what would Penfold do?

Aaaaaaaah!

That's the sort of thing.

Eye patch, tap into HQ cameras.

Ah! Greenback's inside.

We can't get in if HQ's in water.

We have to warn Penfold.

In his condition? He'll go to pieces.

Aaaaaaaah!

Yes, like that.

-Penfold!

-Good timing, Chief.

Operation Muffin Bake is almost complete.

Moving on to Operation Washing Up

and Operation Nice Cup Of Tea.

Negative. New priority mission, erm,

Operation Bathroom. Go, now!

The Mouse's beautiful abode.

Search it. I don't want to be interrupted in my moment of triumph.

What's my mission, Chief?

Code Name, er, Clean The Tub... Lying Down. Go!

If you want me to do chores, you can just ask, you know.

These aren't chores, they're vital missions.

Now, go clean the kitchen cupboards.

-From the inside!

-Oh...

RATTLING

Operation Bucket On Your Head!

-Crouch!

-How is this saving the world?

I flood it, I flood it not. I flood it! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ooh!

Muffins?

Aaah.

-Quick, run across the room and, er, get into the bin.

-That's it.

There's something going on and...

-Greenback's here.

-Oh, did I forget to mention that?

You did think I wasn't up to my job.

Don't jump to ridiculous conclusions,

even when they're entirely accurate.

-Now, do exactly as I say.

-I don't want your help.

I'm capable of dealing with this myself.

Hot, hot, hot!

Aaaaaah!

Water, water!

Aaaaah!

Ooh, aah, hot, ooh, aah.

Ow.

GREENBACK GARGLES

Ah...

Where is my world flooding tap?

Oh!

Huh?

Somebody's here. Find them.

Ha. Chief says I can't handle myself.

I have hidden strength.

Cor, that's stiff.

Ha!

Oh, he doesn't stand a chance.

-Um, maybe he's managing better than you think?

-Nonsense.

Penfold can't even cope with coping.

Gah, if only there was some other way I could contact him.

Ha, I'm going to defeat the Baron all by myself.

That'll show the Chief.

Ah, Primgold. Found him.

Huh? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Colonel K? Please, shush.

DM says it's crucial that you find the Baron's tappy whatsit

and destroy it but, and this is very important...

SHOUTING: Do it quietly!

I repeat, DO IT QUIETLY!

Now, where did he go?

Crumbs!

I see we're saving some money reusing this shot, nice.

Meanwhile, Danger Mouse is left to consider whether Earth's

watery demise is completely his fault or just mostly his fault.

Oh, if only I'd trusted my best friend, he'd have destroyed

the device and escaped.

Instead, he's trapped like...

-COLONEL AND PROFESSOR LAUGH

-What's so funny?

THEY BLOW RASPBERRIES

Curse you, Greenback. You conniving, evil...

Ha-ha-ha-ha, that's a good one.

Hmm...

Hmm?

Ha-ha!

I'm not talking to you.

Fair enough, but at least listen. I have a plan.

And it's up to you to pull it off.

-Me?

-I'm sorry I doubted you.

From now on, when you say you can do something, I'll listen.

Oh, that's super, Chief. Actually, I did...

Haven't got time to listen now, Penfold. Didn't you once tell me

you could make muffins with your hands tied behind your back?

No. That scene was cut.

Well, now's your chance. You can do this, Penfold. Make some muffins.

-Again? Is that all I'm good for?

-Trust me, this time it's different.

Fine, but this scene had better not get cut.

# I rule the world, I am the greatest, no-one can stop me! #

Hee-hee-hee.

And what better way to celebrate than with a nice, fresh muffin?

As if I would touch your puny... Ooh. Are they fresh from the oven?

Hot! Hot! Hot!

You were right about the nuclear rods keeping them hot.

FLUSH

Oh, oh...

Oh, oh, aah!

-Hee-hee.

-Why don't you do the honours?

Cor, really? Thanks, Chief.

You can do it.

Take your time.

Maybe wiggle it a little first.

And so, the world is saved once more.

Big breath. OK, dry your hand and try again.

-Or will be, any minute now.

-Another big one.

-Any minute...

..a-a-a-ny minute. Oh, for goodness' sake, someone help him.

# He's the greatest

# He's fantastic

# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #