Live and Let Cry Danger Mouse


Live and Let Cry

Animated series. Danger Mouse accidentally leads the Danger Babies astray when he tells them a bedtime story.


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Transcript


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Chief!

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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-# He's the ace

-The ace

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-# He's amazing

-Amazing

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# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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It's Tuesday at the Danger Training Facility,

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and that means one fiery hell after another.

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First, Danger Mouse on the assault course,

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then tacos for lunch!

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Well, the rest of the assault course ought to be simple.

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You're right. It does look a tad on the easy side.

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Hmm.

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A-ha!

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Look at that - a high score!

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THEY CHEER

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And the Danger Babies are going wild!

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-ALL:

-Danger Mouse! Danger Mouse! Danger Mouse!

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What's the matter, Professor? Too agile?

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Too amazing? Too darn cool?

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Too selfish. You're meant to be demonstrating teamwork,

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and you left your team-mate behind.

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Can you turn them off, please?

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Aaaah!

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Waah!

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-BOING!

-Ooh.

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I made you a finger painting.

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It's beautiful!

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Let's see what you can do.

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I want to see brains, brawn and, above all, brotherhood.

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Or sisterhood.

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I need a wee-wee.

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SHE SIGHS

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THEY SCREAM

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THEY CHEER

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Now, look here, Professor, this teamwork stuff's all very well,

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but to be successful agents, they need to be more like me -

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a lone wolf.

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Right.

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So, I need to go and log their results.

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You take them inside and tell them a story or something while I'm gone.

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-I don't know any stories.

-Make something up.

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You know, like when you need an excuse

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for breaking one of my gadgets?

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Oh.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Once upon a time...

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Ah, great. Once upon a time

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there was a...lone-wolf danger agent.

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A guy who could do it all himself.

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But this danger agent was really an evil villain, called...

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..Victor Von Vicious, in disguise.

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-THEY GASP

-And, um...

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..his sidekick was a villain, too.

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A fiendish felon called...

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..Little Frank? Pretty good twist, eh?

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U-huh. Then what happened?

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Oh. Well...

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..the Danger Babies found out who the danger agent really was.

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But that wasn't all they found out.

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Oh, no - things were just getting started for the Danger Babies.

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They're actually some of my most promising stu...

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SHE GASPS

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MUFFLED SPEECH

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I'm really looking forward to ripping this off

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-and hearing your explanation...

-MUFFLED SPEECH

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..but mostly to ripping it off.

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-Aargh! All I did was tell them a story.

-What story?

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One about how I'm really a devilish, slash devilishly handsome,

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villain in disguise.

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-Ooh, I want to hear it!

-I didn't think they'd believe it.

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They're babies! They'll believe anything!

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Don't worry, they can't have got far on foot.

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Oh. You taught them to drive.

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You really are a wonderful teacher.

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Hnngh.

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THEY LAUGH

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Danger Babies, report back to base immediately.

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Danger Mouse was making it up. None of it is true.

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Well, that's exactly what you would say if you were trying to trick us.

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-Yeah!

-Big trick.

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Good reasoning skills, but I can promise you that...

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Kids? Kids?

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THEY LAUGH

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Right, I'm taking remote control of the car.

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THEY GASP

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Arrgh!

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Who are we waving at?

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Penfold. Hello, Penfold.

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Children! Slow down! You'll get car sick!

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And so will I!

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-Danger Mouse? Where are they going?

-No idea.

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The only thing I said to them was that you, Penfold and I

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were villains in disguise.

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DM! I'm being attacked...

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..by babies!

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Oh, yes. And the Colonel is our evil overlord.

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Hmmm.

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What are you waiting out here for?

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They are the best trainee baby agents I have ever seen.

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Don't underestimate them.

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Nonsense. They're just playing a fun game with their Uncle Danger Mouse.

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Any second now they'll pop up with a ball and ask us to play with them.

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You dropped your blankie!

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-Ow!

-Ow!

-Arrgh!

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Playing a fun game with their Uncle Danger Mouse, eh?

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Gah!

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Grr!

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It was horrible. They threatened

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to blow raspberries on my tummy!

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You're safe now - they've gone.

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Thank you, tiny old woman,

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but none of us are safe.

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They demanded the release codes for Arkwright Asylum,

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and tickled me until I gave in!

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I... I was powerless.

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-Danger Mouse!

-Yes...

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Ah, well, you see, if I was the villain in the story,

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it made sense to make all our enemies heroes.

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Oh, no! They're going to release all the villains in Arkwright!

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Am I getting no points for creativity here?

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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Hee-hee-hee! Interesting.

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I always suspected babies were evil.

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Mwa-ha-h-ha-ha!

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I just don't understand how they keep beating me.

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Yeah, it must be so hard to defeat someone who is so dumb

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they convinced five impressionable youngsters

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to release all the major villains in the country.

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Don't let them tickle me!

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I know how they're beating us...

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They've working as a...

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-Eh, pastry chef?

-Metaphor?

-Waitress?

-Dog walker?

-Belgian?

-Butler?!

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..team! The Danger Babies keep escaping

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because they're working together, and we're not!

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-Right, I knew that.

-Exactly.

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So, to catch them, we need to work as a team.

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Yes!

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Or we need to break up their team.

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Chief, look!

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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-OVER PA:

-Congratulations, Danger Babies -

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mission accomplished.

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-ALL:

-Professor?

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I was working against Victor Von Vicious -

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or should I say Danger Mouse Von Idiot -

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-all along!

-Harsh.

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You've set everyone free, so here's your reward.

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I hope you don't mind sharing.

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THEY GASP

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You tricked us!

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Yes, but only because you didn't let me finish my story,

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where, um...the Danger Babies

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realise it was all a...

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..training exercise, and everyone worked together

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-to recapture the real criminals.

-And they all lived...

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Yes! They did. Fingers crossed.

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Can we have another story?

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Sorry, story time's over.

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It's fighty time, now.

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THEY CHEER

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Big hug.

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Aww, she wants to say goodbye.

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You can't see me!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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CRASH!

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Good luck with your day-care centre, Danger Daddy!

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After him!

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We'll never catch up.

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And we can't go any faster with this many on board.

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We need to make them slow down.

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Yes, Chief, as a team. The Danger Babies have had an idea!

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Look - a sheep.

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Hmm. Another sheep.

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-HE YAWNS

-Three sheep.

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Four...sheep.

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THEY YAWN

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CRASH!

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Success! We did it!

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ALL: Shhh! They're napping!

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THEY SNORE

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Look at them. Sleeping like babies.

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They are babies.

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Yes, but they won't be for long.

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They grow up so fast.

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No, they grow at exactly the same rate as everyone else.

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Honestly, your grasp of basic biology is really poor.

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So, as the Danger Babies take on their greatest assignment yet -

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sleeping through the night without any accidents -

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Danger Mouse and Penfold stand guard,

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bastions of paternal caring and...

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I need a wee-wee!

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-Oh.

-Professor!

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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Having put the Danger Babies through their adorable paces, Professor Squawkencluck leaves it to Danger Mouse to settle them down with a nice soothing story. Unfortunately storytelling to children isn't one of Danger Mouse's strong points, and he ends up scaring his captive audience with a tale that reimagines him as an evil villain. Squawk returns to find Danger Mouse bound and gagged and that the Danger Babies have made off with the Danger Car and are on their way to Arkwirght Asylum to free the 'heroes' from Danger Mouse's topsy-turvy story.