The Toad Who Would Be King Danger Mouse
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
Chief! | 0:00:05 | 0:00:06 | |
# He's the greatest He's fantastic | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
# Wherever there is danger he'll be there | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
-# He's the ace -The ace | 0:00:14 | 0:00:15 | |
-# He's amazing -Amazing | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:00:24 | 0:00:27 | |
# Danger Mouse! # | 0:00:27 | 0:00:31 | |
London, and the hunt for the missing Baron Greenback goes on. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:43 | |
But have no fear - | 0:00:43 | 0:00:44 | |
our hero will leave no waffle unturned. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
Wait, waffle? | 0:00:48 | 0:00:49 | |
I don't like it, Penfold. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
Till we know where he is, we can't relax for a second. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
No problem, chief. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
Ooh! My favourite! Who Wants To Marry A Queen? | 0:00:55 | 0:00:59 | |
Last night on Who Wants To Marry A Queen? | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
The Queen of Great Goldlandia was taking her time | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
to make a wise choice. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
You. No, no. Wait. You. Oh, wait. No. But I didn't see you. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:13 | |
Oh, why is this so hard? I'll take all of them. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
Whoa. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:17 | |
Well, dig my mines and smelt my ore, I do love a bad boy. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:21 | |
Will you marry a queen? | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
Chief! | 0:01:26 | 0:01:27 | |
Ahem! Top priority, DM. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:31 | |
I need you to act as bodyguard to a royal family | 0:01:31 | 0:01:34 | |
while they're here on honeymoon. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
Chief! | 0:01:36 | 0:01:37 | |
May I introduce the Queen of Great Goldlandia. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:41 | |
Your Majesty. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
It's the Baron! | 0:01:46 | 0:01:47 | |
Unhand His Majesty at once! | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
Gotcha! | 0:01:51 | 0:01:52 | |
Colonel, you've been brainwashed. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
He hasn't, chief. Stop! | 0:01:54 | 0:01:57 | |
What are you attacking me for? | 0:01:57 | 0:01:58 | |
This isn't another clone episode, is it? | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
You leave my husband alone. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
Husband?! | 0:02:02 | 0:02:03 | |
Argh! | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
HE GROANS | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
Ha! So shocked, are you, Danger LOUSE, | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
that I might have been chosen by a queen? | 0:02:10 | 0:02:13 | |
Though, Queen doesn't begin | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
to capture her splendiferous-ness...dicity. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
And you're King Baron's bodyguard, DM. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
Protect his body, don't flatten it! | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
From now on, my underling goon, | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
I only want to hear four words - "Yes, Your Majesty!" | 0:02:26 | 0:02:31 | |
Hmm, "Yes, Your Majesty...sir!" | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
HE GRUMBLES | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
Yes, Your Majesty, sir. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
BARON LAUGHS EVILLY | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
HE GROANS | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
NERO YELPS | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY | 0:02:45 | 0:02:46 | |
He's rather strong for a peasant, isn't he, my royal cuddly consort? | 0:02:46 | 0:02:52 | |
Yes, Queenie-Weenie Sweetie, | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
but then he doesn't have all the bags...yet. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:57 | |
Oh, Delilah! | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
HE GRUNTS | 0:03:01 | 0:03:02 | |
No photos. No photos. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
-Except of me, of course. -SHE LAUGHS | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
Oh, what's the point of being a princess if there's no paparazzi? | 0:03:13 | 0:03:17 | |
Daddy, I demand a front-page scandal. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
You can embarrass us in the media soon enough, dear, | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
but first, we're going to be a family. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
HE MAKES KISSING NOISES | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
Eugh. I know. I want to throw up as well. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:30 | |
Ow! HE LAUGHS | 0:03:37 | 0:03:38 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
DANGER MOUSE GRUMBLES | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
Argh! That's it! | 0:04:00 | 0:04:03 | |
I will not be treated like this. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
You have to do everything I say. I'm the king and you are nothing. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:09 | |
Then you're the king of nothing. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
What the blazes are you playing at, DM? | 0:04:13 | 0:04:15 | |
The Queen and Princess Delilah have been kidnapped! | 0:04:15 | 0:04:19 | |
Not possible, Colonel. They're... | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
Queenie-Weenie Sweetie? | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
Oops. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:26 | |
Very disappointed, DM. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
You've let your personal feelings for the Baron distract you | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
from a top-priority mission. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
But, Colonel, we know the Baron is behind the kidnapping. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
She's the Queen of Goldlandia. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:41 | |
-He probably wants control of her gold mines. -Yes, yes. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
At first, of course, | 0:04:44 | 0:04:45 | |
I was only interested in marrying her | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
for her country's natural resources, | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
but don't all marriages start out that way? | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
But then...I fell in love. | 0:04:53 | 0:04:56 | |
Oh, no, boss! No! | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
As the world was filled with joy, | 0:04:59 | 0:05:01 | |
I was moved to express my feelings in a poem. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:05 | |
Earplugs! Earplugs! | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
Queenie-Weenie, my jellybean-y, I'm your yummy, gummy toad. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:12 | |
Let me dine on the sugar of our love, | 0:05:12 | 0:05:16 | |
until my tummy does explode. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:19 | |
ALL GROAN | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
You are the Queenie-Weenie Sweetie of my heart, | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
and also of Great Goldlandia and its overseas dependent territories. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:28 | |
There. What do you think? | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
Be honest, now. Come on. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
Baron, that poem may be the most evil thing you've ever done. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:36 | |
You just don't want me to be happy! | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
That's why you have taken her from me! | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
I am heartbroken, and here's a poem about that. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:43 | |
THEY SCREAM | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
Why are you so sure it's the Baron, chief? | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
I mean, Delilah is missing too. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
Why would he kidnap his own daughter? | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
Hang on, message coming through. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
Danger Mouse, help us! | 0:05:56 | 0:05:57 | |
My father has trapped us in Toadlantis. He wants... | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
Humble pie for pudding tonight, Penfold? | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
But first, how about a thrilling rescue appetiser? | 0:06:05 | 0:06:08 | |
Gah! The Baron. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:10 | |
-After you. -So kind. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
-BOTH: -Aha! I knew it! | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
I've caught you red-handed! | 0:06:36 | 0:06:37 | |
-What? -What? | 0:06:37 | 0:06:38 | |
-BOTH: -No. I've caught YOU red-handed. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:41 | |
Nice try. Delilah sent me a message telling me what YOU did. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:45 | |
What? No, she sent ME a message. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:47 | |
Actually... | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
I sent you both messages. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
Hey, boss. Me and the little chunky one, we work it out. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:57 | |
It's Delilah, chief. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
Oh. Carry on. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:03 | |
Guys, I can't stay cos the guests will be waiting. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
You see, I arranged a little coronation of my own. Laters! | 0:07:06 | 0:07:12 | |
Oh, it's such a shame you and the Queen | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
were lost at the bottom of the sea...forever. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
Oh, wait, no. That didn't happen...yet. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
SHE LAUGHS EVILLY | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
She's programmed it to wreck us at the bottom of the ocean! | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
Is it weird to be proud AND terrified? | 0:07:42 | 0:07:46 | |
Argh! | 0:07:47 | 0:07:48 | |
If you'd done your job protecting my wife, we wouldn't be here! | 0:07:48 | 0:07:52 | |
Well, if you hadn't been such a villain, | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
I wouldn't have been distracted. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:55 | |
Here we go. It's never your fault, is it? | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
Argh! | 0:07:58 | 0:07:59 | |
You start working together, | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
or I will confiscate your family estates. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
I'm sorry, Your Maj, but it's no use. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
To escape, we need that professor's Danger Flying Sub, | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
and we've got no way of contacting her. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
So, hypothetically, | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
if someone had an intercontinental ballistic missile | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
aimed at your top-secret postbox, that might be useful? | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
Argh! | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
Ah! | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
Professor, send the Flying Sub to our coordinates immediately. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:37 | |
And please can I have my missile back? | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
We've only got a few seconds | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
before the water pressure crushes us. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
There's so much I've wanted to say. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:49 | |
Yes, my royal cuddliness? | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
-It's been really lousy knowing you. -BLOWS RASPBERRY | 0:08:51 | 0:08:55 | |
Oh! | 0:08:55 | 0:08:56 | |
CRASHING | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
-Everyone on board. -Yeah, and quickly. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
If the Royal Goldlandian Crown even touches Delilah's head, | 0:09:01 | 0:09:05 | |
she becomes queen, even if I am still around. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:09 | |
Oh, no. What, this little thing? No, this is just a travel crown. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
No, you couldn't wear the real one on a train. It's huge. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
No, you'd bang into doors and ambassadors. In fact... | 0:09:17 | 0:09:21 | |
Whoa! | 0:09:21 | 0:09:22 | |
And so the guests take their seats in this imposing hall | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
as they await their future Queen. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
And now the traditional massive deadly machine | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
smashes its way in and comes to rest majestically | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
on top of the Prime Minister. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:37 | |
THEY GASP | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
Ha! | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
Get that crown on my head now. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
And now, in a slight break from protocol, | 0:09:45 | 0:09:47 | |
the ceremony will be interrupted by a flying submarine. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:50 | |
THEY GASP | 0:09:50 | 0:09:51 | |
Yes! I'm the... | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
Argh! | 0:09:55 | 0:09:57 | |
Naughtiest child in the world? | 0:09:57 | 0:09:58 | |
You are so grounded...again! | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
So, my little Queenie-Weenie Sweetie, | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
what say we put all this behind us and go spend some of that gold? | 0:10:04 | 0:10:09 | |
Uh, what gold is that, my royal cuddle-bumpkin? | 0:10:09 | 0:10:13 | |
What do you mean, what gold? The gold... | 0:10:14 | 0:10:17 | |
from Goldlandia! | 0:10:17 | 0:10:18 | |
No, we haven't got any gold. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
No, we're so poor we had to make a crown out of a rock and paint it. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:24 | |
Why did you think it's so heavy? | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
OK. Well... | 0:10:27 | 0:10:28 | |
It's not you, it's me. Let's be friends, blah, blah, blah. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
See you later. Call you sometime. Delilah! | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
There goes the only toad I will ever love. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:36 | |
Oh! | 0:10:36 | 0:10:38 | |
If only he weren't such a hottie. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
Eugh. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:41 | |
Now, can I suggest putting the crown somewhere safe? | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
After all, if just putting it on means you're Queen, | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
then anyone could... | 0:10:47 | 0:10:48 | |
CLUNK! | 0:10:48 | 0:10:49 | |
What? I was just trying it on. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
-AUDIENCE: -All hail Penfold, Queen of Goldlandia! | 0:10:52 | 0:10:57 | |
Oh, royal crumbs! | 0:10:57 | 0:10:59 | |
# He's the greatest He's fantastic | 0:11:01 | 0:11:05 | |
# Wherever there is danger He'll be there | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:11:10 | 0:11:13 | |
# Danger Mouse! # | 0:11:13 | 0:11:17 |