I Believe in Danger Mouse Danger Mouse

# He's the greatest

# He's fantastic

# Wherever there's danger he'll be there

# He's the ace

# He's amazing

# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #

Global tension, a planet steaming towards oblivion,

and, at the helm, that rudest of villains, Bert Bad Boy.

He's rewired the translation system at the UN to emit nothing but...

BLOWS A RASPBERRY

And worse, DM,

once the ambassadors start wutsnaming each other,

we'll be facing a global war.

Fear not, Colonel. The world's number one agent is on the case.

Ooh, is Jeopardy coming?

PENFOLD SCREAMS

OK, you posh, bogey-flicking phonies! Prepare for chaos!

That was easier than I expected.

-Hey, hey.

-SHE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

Knickers. Up your shnozzle, Granny.

Crumbs, chief, we're too late.

Poor blighter's already speaking like a naughty six-year-old.

Nonsense.

That happens to be how we speak in the Democratic Republic of...

-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

-..Trumpet.

Translated, it means, "Lookout! He has a fanatical army of cats!"

Roughly.

I think I can handle a few... ARGH!

They assaulted the Master! Destroy the unbelievers!

You again. Oh, don't tell me you're following Bad Boy now?

Speaking of Bad Boy, I think he's run off, chief.

Taxi!

Beat it, ya freak.

Of course, normally I'd encourage behaviour like that.

Cats, Bad Boy. Feeble-brained, impressionable cats.

How could you lead them astray?

-PENFOLD SCREAMS

-Hmm?

-Ca-a-a-a-a-ats!

Argh!

MEOWING

Ha-ha!

W-w-why are they attacking, chief?

The Chosen One has been defeated. How can it be?

Unless, he was a FALSE Chosen One. Yes! All hail the TRUE Chosen One!

-Huh.

-We dedicate ourselves to living by your word.

-The Chosen One, you say?

-Chief...

-Don't listen to them.

-Penfold, shush.

Grown-ups talking. Do go on.

PENFOLD MUTTERS IN HIS SLEEP

..two tickets for the jam roller-coaster, please...

MEOW

Aaaah!

-He's awake! The Chosen One's Special One is awake!

-What's going on?

Why are you...? Aaah!

The Chosen One says, "Danger makes everything more fun!"

Well, I'm going to have a few chosen words with the Chosen One.

In the mission where you saved reality,

you said, "I'm stuck in a quiche."

What did you mean by that?

I suppose what I was saying was,

"Isn't life a bit like being stuck in a quiche?"

Ooh!

We WERE stuck in a quiche!

That's why you said we were stuck in a quiche! Because of the quiche!

Heretic.

Now, calm down. Don't forget, this is the Chosen One's Special One.

-Don't encourage them, chief.

-Where's the harm, Penfold?

Better they follow me than Bad Boy.

Listen to me, cats. You don't have to follow anyone.

You could make up your own minds.

That's not what the Chosen One said.

I'm only thinking of them, Penfold.

Deadly doings, DM.

Tutenkhamoo is attempting to steal the Magical Amulet of Cowapatra.

Stop him. With that much power, he could conquer the world -

and perhaps even Britain, too.

MEOW

The Master can create people out of thin air!

Kneel in his praise.

Ow! Ah... My first commandment - don't do that again.

Hmm. The brakes aren't working.

We removed them, Master, to make it more dangerous, like you said.

Aaah!

They're jeopardising the mission, Master. I mean, chief!

-Relax, it's only the brakes. Aah!

-And the steering wheel.

-Hey-hey!

-Nothing I can't handle. Watch and learn, my feline faithful.

Ha-ha!

We got here in the nick of time, which is, of course,

the perfect time to arrive.

Shouldn't we wait for an audience?

Remember, as the Master says,

"What's the point in doing anything if no-one's looking?"

Like you said you taught your disciple, Jeopardy Mouse?

Disciple? Cor! Don't let her hear you calling her that!

Give us more words of inspiration, oh, Chosen One.

Um, right.

You can catch more flies with honey than you can with your fingers.

The pen is mightier than the sword,

although the Dangerzuka is mightier than both.

Chief, we don't have time for this!

With this amulet's power, I will destroy civilisation

and build it anew -

only with more pyramids.

We'll see about that. Watch and learn. This is how... Aaah!

MEOWING

Lord Danger Mouse, the Chosen One.

OK, second commandment, the Chosen One shalt do all the fighting.

Master, accept the amulet of power,

for who better than the bravest and humblest of us to rule the world?

Hard to argue with that. Hmm. King, eh?

-Do I get Saturdays off? Ha-ha!

-King?! That's a terrible idea.

THEY GASP

Er, Your Majesty.

Chief, imagine a world where everything

happened at the last second, where everything was more dangerous,

where nothing happened without an audience.

It'd be a disaster.

Her-e-tic!

Aaah!

Penfold!

Don't worry, Master. We'll destroy the unbeliever.

You've got a world to run.

OK, this has got a little bit out of hand.

You know, maybe you shouldn't be following me.

But you're the greatest. We learned everything from you,

apart from the meanings of the words guilt, fear and doubt,

which you don't know yourself.

Honestly, I don't think they're real words.

It's clear that the world would be better

if we forced everyone to live by your words.

Nice of you to say but that might not be a good idea.

You see, I may not always think before I speak.

-Is this a test?

-Tell us how to pass this test, oh, King Chosen One.

Look, the truth is,

I'm just a completely normal person with impeccable dress sense,

extraordinary skills and the cheekiest wink on the planet.

But I'm not the Chosen One.

Penfold, there's a small chance you were right about this cat business.

MEOWING AND HISSING

Destroy Danger Mouse, in the name of Danger Mouse.

Sorry I can't help, DM.

I'd never get there in time. But good luck. Oh!

I seem to have sent my actual self by accident

and left my hologram in the office.

-Friends, this is all my fault.

-BOTH: Yes, it is.

Oh, well. Glad we sorted that out.

Don't worry, chief, those cats will never get through our defences.

MEOWING

Crumbs!

Attack, brothers and sisters, for we are the true Danger Mice.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Proud to go down fighting with you both.

They'll sing songs about us, the three heroes - K, DM and...

I want to say Pipsqueak.

It's... Ah, call me what you like. Here they come!

Don't worry, they'll be no match for my skills.

Hee-yah. Mouse fu.

Right, yes, I may have trained them all to be deadly fighters.

Hee-yah! Hooh! Ow!

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Huh?

What just happened?

Ha! The Chosen One has chosen to shut you down.

No-o-o-o-o-o-o!

SIZZLING

Probably not the best time to cook sausages, Colonel.

Never a bad moment for sausages, Panhandle.

-Well, I hope you learned your lesson.

-Meow. We have.

Only the True Master could win such a battle.

-Forgive us for doubting you, oh, Chosen One.

-Oh, not again!

Thank you but I can't take the credit.

It was all the work of our brilliant leader, the genius Colonel K.

-Sir, we will follow you always.

-Aww. How nice of you to say so.

The Master has a Master!

We must dedicate ourselves to following HIS teachings.

Hail the new Chosen One!

We're going to need more sausages.

And so it came to pass that the world was safe once more

and the narrator went forth and spake unto the viewers,

saying, "See you next time for more Danger Mouse!"

# He's the greatest

# He's fantastic

# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #