One Small Step For Sam Dani's House

My talents are wasted on this spaceship.

-Look at all these jobs I could do.

-You've got a job.

Yeah, stuck with you while the world passes me by. I've got itchy feet!

Sorry about that, but you insist on using my towel!

I've had enough of this stupid tin can.

I could apply for a job with the press of a button.

Well, if that's how you feel, go on then.

No, don't! Dammit.

Oh, look what you did!

I applied with the press of a button,

to be the ambassador to Fisbesia.

The Fisbesians? They're a horribly bad tempered race!

And ambassador sounds important.

Their last ambassador got thrown into space

for using the wrong spoon at lunch!

Using the wrong spoon?

They're also very hot on manners.

Oh, I'll definitely put my foot in it.

Nnnnng! Bzzz! Bzzzzzzzzz!

It's the Fisbesian Emperor!

Bllll! Bllll!

He says he is sending an inspector to interview you over lunch.

-He hopes you have good manners.

-He's really hideous, isn't he?

-He says you're no oil painting, yourself!

-Oops. Sorry!

And the first thing you put your foot in is your mouth!

-Anyway, it's not all bad news.

-What's the good news?

-It's Dani's House!

-Oh, yay!

Hey, guys! Great to see you.

My name's Dani, and this is...

-Her best friend, Sam!

-Sam!

As I was saying, my name's Dani, and this is...

-Her other best friend, Jack!

-Stuffing his face, as usual.

As I was saying, my name's Dani, and this is...

Her brother, Max!

And his mate, Ben!

Just go away! Quiet!

As I was saying, my name's Dani, and this is...

ALL: My house!

Oh, I give up!

Sssh!

Hey, guess what?

You know I've been saving to go travelling around the world?

-Yeah, how much have you got?

-Er, about 55 quid.

-You had loads more than that.

-I did, but I bought a pony.

-Jack!

-Hey, Bunty was a bargain. But it doesn't matter.

I think I've sussed away to go travelling for free. Check it out.

You've joined the Navy?

No, but my mate's dad's got a boat, they're sailing to Greece,

so I signed on as crew!

-Oh, Jack, that's fantastic! I didn't know you could sail.

-I can't!

-Oh, but when do you leave?

-Tomorrow, but how hard can it be?

Er, probably quite hard.

I know, I'm psyched. It's going to be like a real challenge.

-I might come back a changed man.

-You'll be tidy?

Oh, will you look after Bunty until I get back?

-Yeah, what do I have to feed her?

-Hay.

-Hey what?

-No, hay.

-Hmm?

Haaaaay!

-Oh, hi. Ruby, right?

-Yeah, hi.

Dani asked me round, as long as I don't make her work out.

It's a good thing you didn't have to bring your annoying, little...

DOORBELL RINGS

-Hi, this came off your house.

-Thanks.

She'll just sit in the corner and play with her Junior Dungeon.

-I have a working guillotine!

-Nice(!) DOORBELL RINGS

This is like Piccadilly Circus!

ALL: Woah!

Cool, an astronaut!

Hey, this could be about my going to work for NASA!

No, you think?

-Well, aren't you going to open it?

-No, I'm too nervous!

Oh, come on, they're not go to send a real astronaut with a gold ticket

to tell you you haven't got in, are they?

Yeah.

Yep, I guess they are.

-I didn't get in.

-Oh, I'm really sorry, Sam.

-It's OK, it's not the end of the world.

-Just YOUR world.

Come on, you.

Let's fix you up with a snack.

-Hay!

-Hey, what?

-Hay, hay!

-Hey, hey, hey.

-Hay, like hayfever.

Oh, well, why didn't you say so?

Oh, Sam. Jack's running away to sea.

-How sick is that?

-Yeah, you'll probably be quite sick.

-That's great, Jack.

-Oh, don't sound so thrilled(!)

Sorry, that's brilliant.

Yep, I'm finally hitting the road, and it's big and wet. Watch this.

Oh!

Impressive(!) And you'll soon be off to NASA.

-My friends are such action heroes!

-Actually, I won't.

Of course you will, rocket girl.

Bbbbbrrrggggg! We have liftoff! Ground Control to Major Sam.

I didn't get the job. I just found out today.

-Oh, Sam.

-Tough one.

I'm really sorry, but I have to admit,

-I would have been quite gutted if you had both left at once.

-Yeah.

Now, don't cause trouble and get banned from here as well, OK?

Where else am I banned from?

The library, the Park, the shop, the post office, the pool, the park...

-You said that twice.

-You got banned twice.

So, what are you going to do if you get bored?

Oh, I'll just have to find Dani's annoying creep of a brother

-and show him who's the boss, again.

-Max?

He's not here, he's on a school trip or something.

If Max isn't here, it's the perfect time to search his room,

and set booby-traps.

-Right. Port, and starboard.

-Even I know it's the other way round.

-What, star and portboard?

-No, port is to your left.

-Right.

-Where's starboard?

-Are you sure you're ready for the ocean?

Maybe you should start with a lake, or a pond.

I just hope you don't meet a sea sprite out there in the ocean!

What's a sea sprite?

An evil imp that enchants sailors and pulls them under the waves.

I don't believe in evil imps.

Well, obviously you haven't met Maisy, then.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Jack, Jack!

-Who's there?

-We are the sea sprites.

There's no such thing as a sea sprite!

Jack, come with us.

-My mate fancies you.

-No, I won't listen!

She thinks you're really fit!

Does she? No, stop it!

You're not even real!

OK, they're real.

I know, I'll bung up my ears and tie myself to the wheel.

-Jack! Jack, Jack!

-Aye, aye, aye, captain!

We've been going round in circles.

But, Captain, I heard a sea sprite!

There's no such thing as a sea sprite!

I wouldn't say that if I were you!

Hey, Rubes.

I was thinking, we should have had a leaving party for you,

but you're going tomorrow.

It's OK, I put the word out for everyone to come round here tonight.

You did? Oh, great.

Oh, we should do the place out with sailing decorations!

-Yeah.

-Yeah, and you can make me a big cake in the shape of a boat!

Oh, wicked! And we could make it fancy dress,

-with like a nautical theme.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah!

-And I can ride in on Bunty!

-No! No ponies in the house.

Don't.

Jack only wants a fancy dress party with decorations

and to ride in on a pony.

-What is this, Las Vegas?

-Party, great(!)

And a boat-shaped cake.

The last thing I made was fairy cakes in Food Technology,

and you could use them to bang in nails.

-You'll cope, Google it.

-What shall we get him as a leaving present?

Box of distress flares.

We could get him a map and track his progress!

Oh, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!

It's not like he's going to the moon or anything!

-Hey, come on, you're a fighter, you don't do self-pity!

-Yes, I do.

So, you're just going to give up?

Yeah, I thought I would. What else can I do?

Er, reapply, find out why they didn't choose you, work on it.

-OK, and if that fails, then can I give up?

-Well, yeah.

Not much point in being pigheaded about it. Oh, I can't make a cake.

So, this is a great chance to learn.

PHONE RINGS

Meet me at the airlock?

Hello, again! Do you need the loo, or something?

No, my suit has built-in restroom facilities.

Oh. Ew!

Is there somewhere we can talk, in private?

Spy cam, superglue, extra-strength itching powder for his pants drawer.

What a suspicious mind.

Hmmm.

KEYPAD MAKES 'WRONG' NOISE

Hmmm. So, what is his password?

Greetings, intruder.

By now you'll be wondering "what's my password?"

Well, it's really great, so you'll never guess it,

especially if you're Maisy, because she's feeble and rubbish.

Oh, I am, am I? We'll see about that. Game on.

Woah!

-What's Max's middle name?

-Sebastian.

-Hmmm, too many letters.

-Name of first pet?

-Er, Slitherfang.

-A snake?

-No, a guinea pig.

-Look, I'm kind of busy here.

-Somewhere you went on holiday?

-Llandudno.

-It has to be five letters!

-Spain?

-You went to Spain?

No, but it has five letters.

Can you think of something he's obsessed with,

-that he'll love to bits?

-What, besides himself?

Well, he did have this ratty old Teddy he took everywhere

until his head fell off.

-What was it called?

-Think!

Er, Rambo. That was it.

R A M B O. Five letters. Got him.

Weird kid.

How are you coping with your crushing disappointment?

Being an astronaut is my dream, and I'm not giving up.

I'm going to reapply.

-Excellent, you just past the overcoming setbacks test.

-Test?

Why test me? I thought you already turned me down.

-That's what I wanted you to think.

-Ahoy there, matey!

Sorry, I don't want you to see my party costume.

-I was looking for Ruby, I thought she was in there.

-No, bye.

-What do you mean "wanted me to think"?

-It was a test.

-You're on our shortlist, sister.

-Wow! Am I?

Do you think they would send a real astronaut just to turn you down?

I am here to stress test you, and you just passed test one.

So, there's more than one test?

This is NASA, there are always more tests.

But if I pass them, I get to go up?

Yep! Space, baby.

-So, when are the other tests? Can I revise for them?

-Nope, just be ready.

-It's very important - you can't tell anyone.

-What about my friends?

Nah, especially not them. Any of them find out, it's over, finito.

-Get it? Got it? Good.

-Even Dani?

-Sam!

-Uh-oh.

-Think fast, what are you going to do?

-Go floppy!

-Jack said you were trying on your...woah!

-Party costume.

-What do you think?

-Well, it's brave. Glad you can laugh about it!

-OK.

-Quick reactions.

-Coast is clear. Go.

-Back soon.

-And remember, not a word to anyone.

-Yes, yes, yes!

SNEEZE!

-Har, Har!

-What are you doing there?

Well, I was here, and I didn't want you to see my party costume,

so I hid, and then you came in with the woaaaah!

-And then it was, like, too late.

-How much did you hear?

-Everything.

Houston, we have a problem.

Max didn't think I'd find out about his lame old teddy bear,

did he, Darth Bunny? No, no!

Right. What was his name? Rambo.

KEYPAD MAKES 'WRONG' NOISE

Only 999,998 more combinations to try! Isn't life great?

Grrr!

-So, you're going to be a spacegirl?

-Not now I'm not.

The astronaut said if I told anyone, the deal is off. And now you know.

-But you didn't tell me, I just, sort of, heard by accident.

-That's true.

My lips are sealed. So, wow, you really can't tell Dani?

-Oh, but if you do tell her, you've blown the chance of a lifetime.

-Mmm.

-It's like, best friend, or dream job. No way out.

-Yes, all right!

There has to be a way. There's got to be. Dani will be OK, because...

-..because she has you.

-Me?

-Yes.

But, I mean, we've only just met, and you're her oldest friend.

Yes, that's right. So, thinking logically,

we have to put you two through an accelerated bonding process.

-Is that logical? Or even sane?

-Please don't make me beg.

-OK, I'm begging!

-OK, fine, I'll help!

-Thank you!

-Let go of my legs!

OK. Operation New Bestie is a-go!

What will Sam do? She's in a totally impossible position!

Yes, like someone who has a lunch date with a hideous alien

who might throw her into space for using the wrong spoon.

Could this get any worse?

FLY BUZZES

Hey! Get away from me! Shoo! Get away, get away!

-Where is he?

-Who?

-The Fisbesian Inspector.

-What does he look like?

-Insectoid, about this big.

-Insectoid?

You mean like a wasp, or something?

No. Only an utter fool would mistake a Fisbesian for a...

-You didn't!

-I did, and I whacked him with a rolled up magazine!

That's not very good manners, is it?

Put it like this, you probably started an intergalactic war!

-This is a nightmare. I am rubbish at baking cakes!

-So am I.

-My rock cakes are like real rocks.

-That's great!

You two have so much in common.

Both bad at baking, both have a nightmare brother and sister,

both...girls, er, both like Strictly!

I don't really watch...Strictly! Right! Never miss it!

Well, I've got to run, but you two have fun, I'm sure you will.

Ruby's a great laugh.

So, you like Strictly Come Dancing. What's your favourite dance?

-Erm, the...quicktrot?

-So, who do you want to win this year?

One of the...couples? Is it meant to be doing that?

Oh, I don't think so!

-I put too much baking powder in it.

-It looks like it's alive!

-It looks a BIT boat-shaped.

-It looks more like a bouncy castle.

-What am I going to do now?

-Well, I'll help you.

-I thought you were rubbish at baking?

-Oh, yeah.

Well, we could buy a cake, and make it look like a boat.

That is cheating. Let's do it.

I name thee the good ship Little White Lie.

Don't worry, there's more icing, and, if not, superglue!

-Thanks, Ruby.

-No problem. Now, let's get started on the decorations!

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hey there! It's show time.

-Hey, Sam. You all right?

-Yes, fine, all good.

How's Operation Bestie going? You told her your innermost secrets yet?

-Not exactly.

-Well, get on with it! Please.

-I found this, and I thought we could weave some sea stuff into it!

-Great!

-That'll cheer Sam up. I'll just go and get her.

-No!

-She needs some time alone with her astro...Jack!

-Astrojack?

-So, did I ever tell you I was 13 when I had my first kiss?

-No.

And, I'm frightened of cats, and sometimes, at night,

I worry that my ears look weird!

And I wish I could play the saxophone,

and once, I left my gym swimming costume in the locker

and I was left in there with just a towel on!

Hey, Sam.

Er, I know this looks very odd, but there's a very simple explanation.

-For what?

-For... Nothing! You have to leave now.

-Why?

Er... I'm very sad, I need to mope.

I understand. The job.

-Yeah.

-Well, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

-Go!

-All right!

-How did you get there?

-Cloaking device.

-You have one of those?

We have tons of cool stuff, like an automatic nose-picker.

What you need that for? Oh, yeah.

OK, I'm going to put you through test number two,

thinking quickly under stress.

-What do you think I've been doing?

-Angular rotation, please.

-Hmmm?

-Spin round.

-Oh.

429 plus 873,

45 divided by four,

square root of 3,136.

1,302, 11.25,

and fifty...six!

Not too shabby! Blow into this.

Which one is the odd one out?

Good.

Good!

-Good! OK, stop.

-Thanks.

-I'm weightless!

-Emergency in 0G.

Your CO2 tank is ruptured, so you'll suffocate,

but that's not your worst problem, because the cabin's on fire!

This is so cool, I'm floating!

Too late, your flight engineer's passed out and your suit's on fire!

Five, four, three, two...

-Reroute the CO2 to kill the fire, and then switch to suit oxygen.

-Great!

But, I'm going to have to fail you on that landing.

-What?

-Just kidding.

You passed! Now, no one knows about this, right?

And, my dad's pet name for me is spudcakes,

and once, he called me it in front of this boy we all fancied.

Really?

Done! Want to go on a long walk and talk about life?

-Not really.

-Or we could go blading!

-Oh, I don't like skating.

Me neither. Well, besides, we need to put the decorations up.

-Don't worry, I'll help!

-Thanks.

-Don't mention it.

What are best friends for, hey?

Still can't figure out my great password, can you?

You won't be able to. It's really great!

Oh, stop saying everything is great, it's not great!

Wait, maybe it is great.

G R E A T. Five letters!

It is great, it's great!

Ha! Max has the brain size of a shrivelled walnut,

and mine is the size of Pluto! I'm so awesome...

Congratulations.

As I suspected, you're clever enough to walk right into my trap!

-In a moment, the room will fill with knock-out gas!

-Ah!

Actually, for some reason, they don't sell knock-out gas

at the supermarket, but you're still trapped,

and the password to get out is something totally evil and twisted.

-You'll never get it!

-Don't worry, Darth Bunny, we'll get out of this.

And, by the way, the first sign of madness is talking to yourself!

-It's not that bad.

-Yeah, well, Ruby did most of the work.

I'm glad you two get on. It's like you've been friends for ages.

Yeah, about that...

She couldn't be a better fit for you, even if she was made to order.

Will anyone be joining Madame this evening?

-In that case, would Madame care to see the friend menu?

-Friend menu?

You could have a happy friend...

..or a sad friend.

Boyfriend?

Chatty friend?

You'll never have to think of anything to say.

What's the sporty friend like?

-Very fit. A bit smelly.

-The Emo friend?

Uggggghhhh!

A bit intense.

Too tiring. Look, I just want to relax and be myself.

-Have you got an old friend?

-But of course. Voila!

Isn't it cool? I found it in a charity shop.

We can put loads of fishy stuff in it for Jack.

Dani, I'm sorry if I've been going on about myself a bit much.

Yeah, it was slightly weird.

Well, next time, it's your turn to tell me all your juicy news!

-Awww!

-No, not awww! She's been telling me all her personal stuff

and I've only just met her.

-She's so in-your-face, it's scary.

-Is it?

-Yeah. Not like you, you're so down-to-earth.

-Let's hope not!

-What would I do without you, eh?

-Awww!

Something evil and twisted.

OK, demon.

KEYPAD MAKES 'WRONG' NOISE

Hmmm, vomit?

KEYPAD MAKES 'WRONG' NOISE

Maths!

KEYPAD MAKES 'WRONG' NOISE

Grrrrrr!!!

I don't think making you Dani's new old friend is working.

-It's time for Plan B.

-Oooh, what's Plan B?

-I've got to talk Jack into staying here.

-Good luck!

And if it works, you might just save his life!

-I can't swim!

-You can't? What about if you fall in?

-It's not a problem, it's only a few centimetres deep.

-The sea!

-It's a challenge.

-What about if you hit an iceberg?

-Or get captured by pirates? Or mobbed by dolphins?

-Well, I'll have to cope.

You could have a close encounter with this.

-Why are you trying to put me off?

-We can't do this to Dani,

-both of us leaving at once.

-Why, where are you going?

-I can't tell you that, but it's really important.

-Right.

-So, now do you see why you can't go?

-Er, no.

-Stop being so stubborn!

-Why can't you tell me?

-I can't tell you that.

RUMBLING NOISE

-Thunder?

-Stomach. I'm hungry.

-Jack!

Ahhhhhh!

-Face it, you're a rubbish sailor.

-I need to eat, I'm going to be late.

-Late for what?

-Sea trials. I'm going out on the boat this afternoon.

RUMBLING NOISE

-Stomach?

-Thunder. I'd better carb up. Oooh!

Jam and fried egg! Magic!

That's disgusting. You have heard of seasickness?

-Never been seasick before.

-And you been sailing how many times?

-Once.

On second thoughts, I need some chips to go with this.

-Maisy, is that you?

-Oh, Ruby, I'm so glad to hear your voice!

-The door's locked!

-Sherlock's arrived(!)

Right, type 'great' into the keypad.

-Finally!

-Are you OK? What happened?

-It was Max's evil plan.

There's another one of those locks on this side of the door,

-isn't there, Darth Bunny?

-Look at that!

Don't tell me you just shut it!

I didn't just shut it.

-I did really!

-Oh, Ruby!

Unbelievable.

Ruby said she'd help, then she disappears.

-Not like you, good old Sam.

-Yep, good old me.

-Oh, hey, Jack. How was it?

-Bit choppy. Wow, this place looks great.

-Did you get seasick, then?

-Yeah, but then I just stuck my head

over the side and soon felt better.

-Great. So, did you learn anything?

-Yeah.

Don't be sick when you're facing into the wind.

I haven't totally got my land legs back yet, so...

I can't believe you locked us back in.

Well, I can, actually, since you have the intelligence of a crab!

Listen! The party's started,

and I promised Dani I'd help her organise everything!

Yeah, well you shouldn't have shut the door then, mega-mind!

Didn't Max give you any clue as to what the password is?

He said it was something evil and twisted, but I've tried everything.

Evil and twisted...

Don't bother, OK? If I can't do it, what chance have you got?

But how... How did you do that?

Simple. I typed in 'Maisy'!

So, what about that Ruby? I thought she wanted to be

your best friend, and then she doesn't even show up.

-Hey, Rubes!

-Hi. Sorry I wasn't here to help.

That's OK, Sam and I sorted it, but thanks for your help, anyway.

Dani, listen. I made Ruby try to be your new best friend overnight.

-She did it for me.

-So you're not really that in-your-face?

No. I've told you a year's worth of secrets in, like, a day.

-I'd better hope I can trust you!

-Your secrets are safe with me.

-All right, Spudcakes?

-Mostly!

Excuse me, everyone! Can I just have one moment of your time, and then...

Shut up!

Right. Thanks for coming.

As you all know, our old shipmate Jack is sailing off tomorrow.

Some say he should stick to the decks you play records on!

WIND HOWLS

Decks...

Anyway, I know it'll be tough saying goodbye,

but nothing lasts for ever, not even if you want it to.

But when you have two choose between letting go of your dreams,

and lying to your best friends...

When your heart says one thing, and your head says another,

and it's totally tearing you apart...

It's so unfair!

I'm sorry, it's just not cool.

Yay!

Er, excuse me, excuse me.

I have an announcement. I'm kind of...not going.

-What?

-Yeah. I'm staying here. Woop!

No you're not. We've thrown you a party, and everything.

-Jack, is this because of me?

-No, no, no.

I jibbed when I should have jibed, or something,

and the boat kind of capsized.

-So, you CAN go!

-Sorry, can someone tell me what's going on? Go where?

-No, Sam, don't.

-Oh, well, I'm invisible, apparently.

-OK, Dani.

It's time I came clean. I had this chance to be a real astronaut, and...

Woah!

Oh, it's all right, she's from NASA.

I know it's over, but I'm not going to lie to my friends.

It's not how I want to start my journey, not even into space.

-But thanks, anyway.

-Integrity dilemma test, passed!

You did the right thing, even when it was the hardest thing.

That's what it takes to be an astronaut, sister! All tests passed.

If you'd still like to join, we be honoured to have you!

Everyone, I'm going to be a spacegirl!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Oh, that's brilliant, Sam!

-Are you not mad?

No, I'm sad that you leaving,

I'm going to miss the pants off you, but I'm so proud!

That's why Sam was making me your new old friend.

-But you're my new new friend.

-And I tried to talk Jack out of going.

-Jack?

-Man overboard!

-Come on, we've still got a party to have, for Sam!

Right. Let's blast this party off.

-This is one small step for Sam,

-one giant leap for Samkind!

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

I can't believe Sam's leaving! What an episode!

-Haven't you forgotten something?

-Was it my turn to put the rubbish out?

-Intergalactic war? You squished a Fisbesian inspector?

-Oh, yeah!

-Well, maybe they've forgotten about it.

-Hmmm! Hmmm! Hmmmmmmm!

He says he made an unprovoked attack on his inspector.

-Do you have anything to say for yourself?

-Erm, sorry?

Bzzz! Bzzzzzz!

He finds you rude, hostile and pointlessly aggressive.

-You're perfect for the job! Congratulations.

-Oh.

I've already got a job, bugface, and a very special workmate who would be

a little bit lost without me, so buzz off, before I squash you too!

Eeeeeee!

-I'm starving.

-Saved you some proper lunch in the kitchen.

-Last one in is a smelly old Fisbesian!

-Me first! Me first!

Oops, wrong spaceship!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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