Menace Swap Dennis the Menace and Gnasher


Menace Swap

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-Ready, Gnasher?

-Gnesh!

-Let's go!

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# Playing by the rules

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# Is highly overrated

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# They can't hold us back

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# We'll make the most of every second

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# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

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# After all is said and done

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# Shout, "One for all and all for fun!"

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# Nothing's going to bring us down today

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# Open up your eyes

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# The world outside is waiting. #

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All right, class, you have five minutes to finish today's experiment.

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With my personal junior genius lab kit,

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that should present no problem, Mrs Creature.

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He-he!

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Er, Mrs Creature? My beaker's broken. Look!

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Oh, yeah.

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Then pair up with Walter, Dennis. BOTH: WHAT?!

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Oh, surely you too can work together for five minutes.

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CLOCK TICKS

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Stop!

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EXPLOSION

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We've had to evacuate the entire school because of the smell.

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Do you have anything to say for yourselves for ruining

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-Mrs Creature's experiment?

-Yes, headmaster.

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It was all his fault.

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I told you not to touch the beaker when the liquid oozes.

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You have zero understanding of slime production.

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What's there to understand? Puerile pranks, tawdry tricks.

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-All child's play.

-Child's play?!

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Menacing takes skill and precision timing.

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You couldn't menace a dead fish!

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I could do that in my sleep.

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You wouldn't last one afternoon completing my to-do list.

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What? Measuring the straightness of my tie with a ruler.

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Yeah, really hard, Walter. I do more than that. I...

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Boys, boys, boys.

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It seems we have here a classic lack of mutual understanding,

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but I have the perfect solution.

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You will each spend this afternoon living each other's lives.

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I've spoken to your parents and it is agreed. This afternoon, you will live

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according to the habits and rules of the other's household.

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Stop!

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Swap!

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-Uh!

-Ruh-ruh!

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I'll explain later, Gnasher. It's...complicated.

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Here is Walter's jam-packed schedule for this afternoon.

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Jingle Composer Club.

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Toothpick modellers' symposium with the Colonel.

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Competitive bird-watching? Swimming pool mathletics? Pet grooming?!

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CAT MEWLS, GNASHER CHUCKLES

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Where do you keep your garden shears?

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-Dennis's schedule? For what?

-His after-school activities!

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He doesn't exactly have a schedule. He...lives in the moment.

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-HE LAUGHS

-This will be a breeze!

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Just as I thought.

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I do hope Dennis is coping.

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CLASSICAL MUSIC

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THEY GROAN

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HE MAKES A RACKET

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-That's not...quite how... Walter does it.

-No, it's not!

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Din-Makers, prepare for practice! I hope you've studied your chords.

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Stand straight, shoulders back, no slouching!

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THEY STRAIN

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Now, after me. I'll count us in.

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A-one, two, three, four.

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Um, usually Dennis just says something like, "Rock!"

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-Rock?

-Don't mind if I do!

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THEY MAKE A RACKET

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Competitive bird-watching? Ohhh! Let's liven this up, Gnasher.

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Ahhh! Snake!

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This isn't the sort of thing we do with Dennis, Walter.

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Hmm...

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-But that is.

-THEY LAUGH

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Ta-da!

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So, THIS is a toothpick modellers' symposium.

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Hmm... No...

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Playing with Bea can't be THAT hard.

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SHE STRAINS

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Ooh... Ooh, no...

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Ohh... I don't know how much more of this I can take!

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What's swimming pool mathletics anyway? Huh?

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3 times 7 is 21, 4 times 7 is 28,

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5 times 7... Dennis?

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Oh, I know this one! Cannonball!

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HE LAUGHS

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So far you're not doing very well at being Walter, Dennis.

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I knew you'd find my life too hard. Meanwhile, I'm blitzing yours!

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Tree house tidied, a study regime for Bea.

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I've even introduced the Din-Makers

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to the principles of classical harmony.

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That's not being a menace, Walter!

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That sounds like things you'd do. Epic fail.

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Boys, you have one more chance to live each other's life

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before the day is done or...

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..I'll pair you up in every class until the term ends.

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-BOYS:

-17 times 32 is 544,

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18 times 32 is 576.

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-19 times 32 is...

-Ribbit!

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WALTER WAILS

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OK, time for plan D, G and W.

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We need to help each other if we're going to get through the experiment.

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Very well. Listen carefully.

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After swimming pool mathletics, it's bath time.

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Make sure you use plenty of soap. Then it's afternoon tea.

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This is very important - you must use the scone fork.

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It's second from the right. Do NOT use the Battenberg fork!

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OK, but, Walter, you've got to think like a menace.

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Remember - fun is always just around the corner.

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POSTMAN WHISTLES

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Come, Claudius. We have menacing to attend to.

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And it's bath time for you and me.

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GNASHER GROANS

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-# Da, da-da-da, da-da... #

-DENNIS CHUCKLES

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Lots of soap, eh? Low setting, I think.

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Gnesh, gnesh!

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GNASHER WHIRS

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Ha-ha!

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Right. Let's get you kitted out with some menacing equipment.

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-Ooh. Ooh!

-Ooh...

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DENNIS SIGHS

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Right, Gnasher. All I have to do is get through the scone test

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and life goes back to normal!

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Gnesh!

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Um...er...

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Mm-hm, he certainly looks and smells the part.

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-MOBILE RINGS

-Ooh!

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'Not the Battenberg fork! Use the second one!

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'The second one!'

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Ha!

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Good show.

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Just goes to show you CAN complete a successful experiment

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-without any mischief. A+ for you, Dennis.

-Yes!

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But Walter still has to pass HIS test.

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Oh, Walter excels at everything he does!

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He'll be just fine, I assure you.

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I'm not so sure about that. Come on, Gnasher!

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POSTMAN HUMS

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Hmm...

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Oooh-oooh! Where are the instructions on this device?!

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HE COUGHS

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Too late anyway. Postman's way out of range now.

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-POSTMAN: Strangely quiet today.

-Oh, no!

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I told you not to waste time arranging the pranks

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according to the Dewey decimal system.

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But they needed sorting out!

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-I've failed!

-Maybe not.

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No! I... Oh... I couldn't possibly!

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-Ha-ha! But...I could!

-Gnesh-gnesh!

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Hmm... Do it, Claudius!

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CLAUDIUS SNARLS

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THEN MUNCHES

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Ohh! Ohhhh!

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Walter!

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What are you doing... Atchoo! ..doing, Walter?!

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Being Dennis, sir.

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Hmm...yes, I...I suppose you are. Well, well done. Very good. Atchoo!

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Gnesh!

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So, what have you.... Atchoo! ..learned today, Walter?

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Well, that...having no rules can be somewhat liberating.

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-And you, Dennis?

-Ah...well...I...learnt that...um...

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er...that everyone needs a bath sometimes?

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-Hm?

-Mm, yes, I suppose they do.

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Congratulations, boys,

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you have successfully completed today's experiment.

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Yes!

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Er, would you care to join us for afternoon tea, headmaster?

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Thank you, Walter. I never say no to a scone!

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Whoa! Who knew bath time could be so much fun?! Follow me!

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Ha-ha! Genius wears a striped jumper!

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Gnesh-gnesh!

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