Crash Course Dragons


Crash Course

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This changes everything.

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Ha-ha!

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Great shooting, bud,

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perfect for the catapults.

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Nice catch, girl.

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Your athleticism is nothing short of breathtaking.

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NERVOUS GRUMBLING

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LAUGHTER

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So fast!

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Good girl, Meatlug!

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-LOUD BOOM

-Yeah, OK, shoot another one!

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-And to the right.

-Now go down, down.

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CRACKLING BOOM

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Yes, perfect, nice shot! Hit it again!

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Waa!

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Hmm. What do you think?

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-FRENCH ACCENT:

-I think we need to chisel the jaw lines more,

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make them more in and of our visage.

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-Agreed.

-Will you guys do something that's actually important?

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What could possibly be more important than this?

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I'm sick of this. If these clowns aren't going to pull their weight...

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Hey, boyo!

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Never talk to a girl about her weight.

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No wonder he can't land a girlfriend. Am I right?

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Er, guys?

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Let's get all these catapults loaded BEFORE the sun goes down?

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CREAKING AND RUMBLING

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What was that?

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I don't know but it's crumbling my eye lids.

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THUD

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OK, easy, Stormfly.

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Whoa, what are you doing, Hookfang?

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THUDDING

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-Something's coming towards us.

-Something big!

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CRASHING AND RUMBLING

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Oh, Thor, oh, Thor!

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Let's get out of here.

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Stormfly!

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Astrid, Snotlout, cut your boulders loose!

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I'm trying, it's tangled!

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Toothless!

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IT SHRIEKS

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HE SCREAMS

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The Fireworm Queen?

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LAUGHTER

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I pretended to be scared so the dragons wouldn't be.

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HE SHRIEKS

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Ow! Hookfang, careful!

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-Hiccup, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

-Yeah. Something's off.

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-What is she doing way out here, away from her island?

-I'm not sure.

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Whoa, no, no, no, take it easy, girl.

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Just trying to figure out what's going on.

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Being a dragon expert,

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I can tell that she wants Hookfang to follow her.

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Follow her? Where? Why?

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Maybe it has something to do with these.

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Dragon hunters?

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If I had to guess, she needs help defending herself.

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And since the Fireworm Queen and Hookfang have a history,

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he's the only dragon she trusts.

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Well, if she's looking for backup, she came to the right dragon.

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Those hunters want to mess with the Queen,

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they're going to have to go through me and Hookfang!

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Come on, your Highness! Lead the way!

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Stay close, Hookfang, come on, on her tail, come on!

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Snotlout, wait up.

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I told you, Hiccup, she came for me and Hookfang.

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We got this.

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No-one is doubting your level of got, Snotlout,

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but if Viggo and the hunters are here,

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-you might need a little backup.

-OK.

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But just remember, you're backup, and we're front-down.

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Which is the opposite of backup. Hya! Let's go, Hookfang, come on!

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LOW HONK

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-Er... You guys feel that?

-Feel what?

-I don't feel anything.

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Why must he speak in riddles?!

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It's too calm.

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No sign of any dragon-hunter ships.

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Whatever she wants help with is in there. Let's go, Hookfang.

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Everyone be on alert.

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We have no idea what could be waiting for us in those caves.

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Says Hiccup The Obvious!

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Sometimes I feel like WE'RE the normal ones.

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No arrows? No footprints? No sign of Viggo or Ryker? I don't get it.

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She didn't do all that damage to herself.

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So if it's not hunters, then it's something else.

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Huh.

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Guys, I have a sneaking suspicion we may not be alone.

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SHE SHRIEKS

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What is it, Your Majesty?

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LOW GROWLING

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LOW RUMBLING

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What is that?

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What are those?

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These are my dragon cards, I've been working on them for months.

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Fishlegs, these are incredible!

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I know, right?!

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Yeah, look, I even have dragon classes, sizes, and speed.

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-All this dragon knowledge right at our fingertips!

-Right!

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-You two need a hobby.

-I knew it, it's a Cavern Crasher.

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I've never seen one in the flesh.

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Oh, ho-ho, Mystery Class, whoa! Ho-ho-hoo!

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Er, Fishlegs?

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Care to share, or...?

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HE CHUCKLES

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The Cavern Crasher is a scavenging, Mystery Class dragon.

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It's known for pushing dragons out of their homes and taking over.

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-Why would it do that?

-I'm not entirely sure.

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Warmth? Shelter? Protection?

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I find it hard to believe a dragon that big would need protection.

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That's why the Queen came to us for help -

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-she couldn't get it out of here all by herself.

-Blah, blah, blah.

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We found the culprit, now let's get to work,

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and am-scray this agon-dray.

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Snotlout, I wouldn't...

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Come on, Hookfang, watch out!

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Are there two of them?

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Nope, extremely fast.

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Especially for a dragon that big.

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Fishlegs!

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Get him, bud!

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Look out!

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No, you don't!

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SHRIEKING

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Oh, what is that stuff?!

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Now that, my friend, is a flaming trail of awesome!

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We can't get through these flames!

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OK, and then Astrid swoops in and kills the fun.

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ROCKS CRASHING

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Whoa!

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Hiccup!

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Whoa!

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OK, everyone out!

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Whoo! It would appear we're in the middle of a territorial dispute.

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-OK, guys, the Queen needs our help so we're going to...

-No, no, no,

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no time for thinking, we need action -

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that's why she came to me and Hookfang.

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-Yeah, Snotlout, that's fine, but...

-She saved Hookfang's life,

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and a Jorgensen always repays his debts.

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So that's exactly what we're going to do. We're going to save her life.

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-But you can't go by yourself.

-I'm not by myself!

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I'm with Hookfang, and we're doing this alone. Now, Hooky!

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ROARING

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There she is!

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-SHE SHRIEKS

-Listen, er, Queenie,

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you brought us here because you needed our help...

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I think it's a short cut, Hooky. Good idea!

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I'm not sure the Cavern Crasher is down here.

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Wow, we're deep.

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This might be the deepest I've ever been.

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I don't like this, Hookfang.

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Maybe we should go back.

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Hookfang!

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OK, OK, it was just a suggestion. Brainstorming.

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There's no wrong answers in brainstorming.

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GRUMBLING

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There must be another way around this cave-in.

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Yeah, we've been down these tunnels before, remember?

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There were several entrances to the lower chambers.

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I remember this tunnel over here.

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I think it loops around!

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Come on, bud.

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Snotlout! Snotlout!

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SONAR-LIKE WHINE

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Come on, where is he?

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CRUMBLING

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Whoo!

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-Whoa, where did he come from?

-I know!

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There was only one way to get in here!

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Wouldn't it be cool if it flattened its body,

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and came through the cracks in the walls?

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What? How is that not cool?

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Everyone grab your bolas!

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Oh...

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Almost!

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Er... What's it doing?

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HE SNORTS

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The mucus! Watch out for the mucus!

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-Sorry, had to get rid of that one.

-Not you!

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That!

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Eurgh!

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This is nasty. Even for us.

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-Eurgh!

-Ohh, this is not coming off, it's too sticky.

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BOTH: Slime us, will you?!

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-SPLAT

-Eurgh!

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-Dragons getting me from all sides!

-Yeah! Right! Bad dragon.

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Let's snot him!

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Ruff, Tuff, wait!

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Ah!

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That hurt.

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That slime becomes flammable when it hits the air.

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-Ah!

-Watch out, girl!

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Keep out of the way of those blasts, or we're cooked.

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Hiccup, there's not much room to fly in here.

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I know.

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Oh, now I get it.

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That Crasher thing doesn't just push dragons out for no reason.

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It's scavenging for eggs.

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It's been trying to get here all along, to her hive.

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This is why she came for us, Hookfang. She knew we would help.

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And that's what we're going to do.

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Did you hear me, Hookfang? Help her!

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What's wrong with you?

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TINY ROAR

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Ah!

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You want me to... Me?

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I'm Snotlout.

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I'm completely irresponsible.

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QUEEN RUMBLES

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OK.

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OK, OK. I got it.

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I got you.

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EGG RATTLES

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Um... Hello, guys?

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Hatching baby dragon over here.

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Way above my pay grade!

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BABY DRAGON SQUEAKS

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TINY ROAR

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Oh, my gosh. Hookfang, did you hear that?

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That was a little baby dragon roar!

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HE IMITATES BABY DRAGON

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BABY DRAGON SQUEAKS

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Oh, look, he doesn't even have his fire yet!

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# Baa, baa, black cat

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# Have you any fur?

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# Yes, sir, yes, sir

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# More than you can muster

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# "I'll be the judge," said the little Viking boy.

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BABY DRAGON SQUEAKS

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# Gimme, gimme, gimme or I'll mace you into a toy. #

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My mom used to sing that to me.

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BABY DRAGON SQUEAKS

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Oh, it's just so cute! So...

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Ah! Ah!

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Get it off!

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Ha-ha...

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# Baa, baa, black cat

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# Go, you crazy black cat. #

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HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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You know, believe it or not,

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that blast really opened up my sinuses.

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-Oh, yeah? What can you smell?

-Let me see.

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HE SNIFFS

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Burning nose hair with a faint whisper of musk.

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SHE SNIFFS

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Mmm! Six days and counting!

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Oh, Thor! Oh, Thor! Oh, Thor!

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Ah!

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Don't!

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CRASHER ROARS

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Huh? What's it doing?

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DRAGONS ROAR IN DISTANCE

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-Eggs.

-Babies?

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Dinner!

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What? Seemed to go.

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You know, seemed to work rhythm-wise.

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The Fireworm Queen's eggs.

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THAT'S why she didn't abandon her hive.

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Oh, no, you don't!

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Great work, gang!

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-ASTRID:

-Looks like ugly here isn't making it to the hive.

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Wait, you guys are leaving me here?

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Not you. The dragon.

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OK, now let's try to figure out how to get it out of here for good.

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Grab those bolas. We'll try again.

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Hiccup, did you just see that? It c... It collapsed its skeleton!

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And squeezed through the cracks. Yes! I told you.

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Once again, nobody listens to the Nut.

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The Nut is all-knowing.

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The Nut is all-seeing.

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The Nut is all-believing.

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Maybe the Nut knows how to get through this cave-in.

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The Nut knows not...

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..doesn't know how to get in through the cave-in.

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BABY DRAGONS SQUEAK

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CRASHER GROWLS NEAR HIVE

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We'll just get them out of here, that's all.

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BABY DRAGONS SQUEAK

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Oh, of course! Isn't this just my luck?

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BABY DRAGONS ROAR

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Shh! Please be quiet! Please be quiet!

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QUEEN ROARS

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As a dragon expert,

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I don't think that's going to help right now.

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# Hush, little Fireworm, don't you roar

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# Or a bad thing's coming through the floor

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# If it does, then we're all done

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# Cos it's gonna fry us like the sun. #

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HOOKFANG GROWLS

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BABY DRAGONS QUIET DOWN

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HE SIGHS WITH RELIEF

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DRAGONS ROAR

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Why do babies always make you pay like that?

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It's no use, Hiccup.

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It's too dense. It'll take us forever to blast through.

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And there's no way around it this time. We've got to get through here.

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Hey, Nuts. What do you mean, "The Nut knows not?" The Nut knows.

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-The Nut does?

-He certainly does.

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Oh, right. Of course he does!

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Who are we talking about, again?

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I don't know, I don't know. Just go with it.

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And if there was ever a time for the Nut to use their all-knowingness

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and their expert stone-carving skills, it's right now.

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You're right. I owe it to my public.

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-Sister Nut?

-I live for my craft.

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Fire in the hole!

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CRASHER ROARS

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CAVE RUMBLES

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OK, guys. This is it!

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It's us three against a huge, mucus-shooting,

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nasty killer dragon.

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Or maybe the two of you could take this one!

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BOTH DRAGONS ROAR

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OK, OK. It was just a suggestion.

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CRASHER ROARS

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It's go time, dragons.

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CRASHER ROARS

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Hey, Crasher. Nice of you to show up.

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We were expecting you!

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BABY DRAGONS ROAR

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Queen, now!

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CRASHER ROARS

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OK, that didn't work so good.

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Do we have a plan B?

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No? Probably should have had a plan B.

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Good thinking, Hookfang!

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STONES RATTLE

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CRASHER GROWLS

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Oh, come on! Really?

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CRASHER GROWLS

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QUEEN ROARS

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CRASHER ROARS

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QUEEN CRIES IN PAIN

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Hookfang, hatchlings!

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Ah!

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OK, Hookfang. This is it. Moment of truth!

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We are not letting it get to these babies!

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BABY CRIES

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Don't worry, little guy.

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Uncle Snot and Cousin Fang are here.

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CRASHER GROWLS

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Snotlout?

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Hiccup! Don't come down here!

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Be careful, guys. Crasher slime.

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Perhaps we should be careful of that, as well, don't you think?

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Whoa!

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Hookfang, what are you doing?!

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We're in the middle of a fight!

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HOOKFANG ROARS

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They're combining their firepower!

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DRAGONS ROAR

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Whoa.

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Ah!

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Huh?

0:18:270:18:28

Ha! They cooked the mucus right off him!

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CRASHER ROARS

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DRAGONS ROAR

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Ha! Well, kids, it looks like our Crasher just crashed.

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Why don't we show it the door?

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Ha!

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Oh, no.

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This guy will not give up!

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Maybe you need some backup.

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SNOTLOUT LAUGHS

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Right, but remember, you're only backup.

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Oh, I know, pal.

0:19:080:19:09

BABIES SQUEAK

0:19:310:19:34

-ASTRID:

-Yes!

0:19:380:19:39

All right! Back in business.

0:19:390:19:41

I know, I know. I defied orders again.

0:19:440:19:46

No, you didn't.

0:19:460:19:48

I never ordered you to do anything. This one was all you.

0:19:480:19:51

Why didn't you try to stop me?

0:19:510:19:52

Would you? Have stopped, that is?

0:19:520:19:55

Probably not.

0:19:550:19:56

Then why are we talking about it?

0:19:560:19:58

-You know, I could have gotten killed in there.

-Yeah, but you didn't.

0:19:580:20:01

You crushed it today, Snotlout. You really did.

0:20:010:20:03

This was all you.

0:20:030:20:05

SNOTLOUT CHUCKLES

0:20:050:20:06

Thanks for the backup.

0:20:060:20:08

-Ah!

-Ha-ha!

0:20:080:20:09

ROCKS CRASH

0:20:150:20:17

We did it again!

0:20:170:20:18

Only we could have made something this glorious.

0:20:180:20:21

We call it The Ballad Of The Lout Versus The Crasher.

0:20:210:20:25

It's breathtaking.

0:20:270:20:28

Um, isn't a ballad technically a song?

0:20:280:20:31

No, 'SNOT!

0:20:310:20:32

Get it? "It's not!"

0:20:320:20:34

That's the whole idea.

0:20:340:20:36

We made it a ballad so that people would be like, "Isn't it this?"

0:20:360:20:38

And then we say, "'snot"...

0:20:380:20:40

Well, I love it.

0:20:400:20:42

Although, Astrid, would you say my likeness

0:20:420:20:45

is handsome and chiselled enough?

0:20:450:20:46

Ugh, for the love of Thor.

0:20:460:20:48

THEY LAUGH

0:20:480:20:50

Well, just off the top of my head, they got my hair wrong,

0:20:500:20:53

they got my eyebrows wrong, they got my eyes wrong...

0:20:530:20:55

This has been a great day.

0:20:550:20:57

..chin wrong, they got my cheekbones...

0:20:570:20:59

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