Popper Chopper Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions

# We've got a television show of our own

# Making stuff that's been designed by you lot at home

# Building your inventions the best that we can

# Mostly out of rubbish from the back of our van

# We've even got at title that'll grab your attention

# All together now... #

Oi, plant boy, have I forgotten something?

-I feel like I've forgotten something.

-Shh!

-I remembered to put my pants on.

-Shh!

Shush yourself!

What in the name of Bill Oddie are you doing?

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-You're making a popcorn necklace?

-Di.

-Who are you making that for?

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

When you say, "Er...no-one," do you mean, "Er...a girl"?

-Noss!

-Is it for a girl?

-Noss!

-Is it for a girly girl?!

-Noss!

-Is it for a girlie, girlie girlie!

A... Eugh! Popcorn breath!

How are you getting on with choosing inventions anyway?

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-You're doing this one?

-Di.

Oh, but this is from someone called Harvey in Bishop's Stortford.

It's called the Popper Chopper. It's a buggy with a popcorn maker.

-Di.

-A buggy that makes popcorn.

-Di.

-Right. So, why have you chosen this exactly?

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Purely for the reason that you're running out of popcorn

-and you need to finish your necklace in a few days.

-Di.

Well, I'm not sure.

Oh, eh, pee!

-Maybe.

-Pee!

What have I told you about begging?

Peeeeeee!

-Yeah, all right then. All right!

-Di! Woohoo!

We've chosen inventions for worse reasons than that.

Harvey in Bishop's Stortford it is, let's roll!

-Well, so far, so good.

-Di.

-We're outside Harvey's house.

He's got absolutely no idea we're here.

Right, let's surprise him.

HONK HONK!

Look at that. What's this big noisy lorry doing in the middle

-of the Hertfordshire countryside? Harvey's going to hear it.

-Uh-oh!

It's nothing to do with you, is it?

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-You've ordered some popcorn?

-Di.

How did you pay for it? You didn't use my credit card again, did you?

I told you before, don't use my credit card!

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-What's helpful about it?

Hi, Ed. Hi, Oucho.

Oh.

Hello, Harvey. Great surprise.

Sorry, did you get disturbed by the noise of this lorry?

No, you were shouting.

Ah.

Surprise!

Erm...

-Is it all right if we come in?

-Yes, OK.

Ed, can you just tidy up outside because my mum...

Quite understandable, don't worry.

We'll get it tidied up very quickly. You won't believe the amount

that Oucho can eat in a short time. It's quite disgusting, actually.

Let's crack on with this invention. You know how this works, don't you?

-Yes.

-Good, because I haven't got a clue.

But it's done us all right so far. So...

Look into my eyes and tell me

why you want to invent the Popper Chopper.

I want to invent the Popper Chopper,

a popcorn making buggy,

because I absolutely love butterscotch popcorn.

My brother Ed will be my co-driver.

We'll make popcorn while we drive really fast around my farm.

Afterwards, we'll stop and eat the popcorn,

and have a drink from the Popper Chopper's drink dispenser.

Ah, your brother Ed, eh? That's a good name - Ed.

This will be a very easy invention

because we've already got all the popcorn.

No, I want to make my own popcorn.

-Oh...

-Wha?

This stuff's no good. He wants to make it himself!

It's not the right flavour as well.

-I want butterscotch popcorn.

-Oh!

Oh, right. Great.

That's two things you got wrong are ready and we haven't even started.

-Well done.

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Come on, let's go.

Well, thanks for that, Oucho.

Yet again you've embarrassed me in front of our viewers.

All this trouble for a popcorn necklace.

-Go on, tell me, who's it for?

-Noss!

-Come on.

-Noss!

-Who's the lucky girl?

-Noss!

-Or, unlucky girl!

I can't shake the feeling I've forgotten something.

I remembered to get up this morning and have cake for breakfast.

I remembered to have a daydream about marrying Fiona Bruce...

I haven't forgotten anything.

-Anyway... Harvey's Popper Chopper.

-Harvey!

We don't even know how to make popcorn,

let alone a buggy that drives round and makes it.

Hey you two, relax.

It's Benson, our goldfish.

-I can help you with that.

-What, you know about making popcorn?

Yeah, man! I know all about making popcorn.

You need a little thing called heat, and lots of it.

Popcorn needs a temperature of over 250 degrees centigrade.

250 degrees?

Well, water boils at 100 degrees, so 250 degrees is really, really hot.

Where are we going to get that kind of heat?

Well, you could use the heat from an engine.

Engines burn petrol and would produce heat

far hotter than 250 degrees, you know.

Great, great. Let me just check

I'm getting down all this popcorn information properly.

-Popcorn?

-Yeah, popcorn.

-You were telling us about popcorn?

-Was I?

No, man! Fish don't eat popcorn, it would get all soggy.

By the way, who are you?

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-You're right, this is useless.

I'm not wasting time talking to a forgetful fish.

-Well, at least we know we need an engine to make popcorn.

-Di.

Let's have a look round Harvey's farm.

-Shall I get Harvey?

-OK.

Harvey!

-Hi, Ed. Hi, Oucho.

-All right, mate?

-Now, you wanted a Popper Chopper, didn't you?

-Yes.

Well, I think it's time you saw it.

Ta-dah!

-Looks more like a lawn mower.

-Well, no, to be fair,

it is a lawn mower, but there's a reason for that.

It's cos we need an engine to create loads of heat, right?

It looks nothing like in the pictures.

Well, pictures schmictures.

This is better. This is all necessary.

The heat rises up here, makes your lovely popcorn there, you see?

That's all waiting to pop.

Now, I've put a thermometer down there

to measure the heat of the engine and another one up here,

to measure the heat of the popcorn maker.

-Would you like to see it in action?

-Yep.

-OK.

Let's get this baby cranked up!

OK, that's good.

This is so you can ride around. You wanted that, didn't you?

You can ride around on here and this is your drinks dispenser, you see?

You can have a lovely refreshing drink.

Your mates will be so jealous when they see you driving around on this!

I reckon that popcorn will be done by now. Take it out.

-It's not popped.

-What?

-It's not popped!

-What's that?

-It's all popped and it's brilliant and you're having a great time?

-No!

-What?

-No!

-Hang on, what?

-It's not popped.

-Oh...

-Oh...

Oh, no, it hasn't. What's the heat of the engine?

Very hot.

-It's very hot?

-Yes.

-What's the heat of the popcorn maker.

-Not hot at all.

What's happening here? Cos we know the engine is hot enough,

but the popcorn seeds aren't popping.

-The heat isn't getting there.

-Oh, oh yeah.

I was going to say that.

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-I know, but how do we get the heat up there?

-I thought you knew what you're doing.

-Well...

These things take time, yeah? We'll work this out. It'll be fine.

Harvey?

-Hi, Ed. Hi, Oucho.

-All right?

What's Oucho doing?

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

He's on a deadline. Hang on.

-There's a deadline for a popcorn necklace?

-Mm-hmm!

Why is he making a popcorn necklace?

No idea. Will you please tell me?

-Noss.

-Please?

-Noss.

-Please?

-Please?

-Please?

-Noss! Noss!

-Please?

Noss!

We're going to find out eventually. Harvey, I've got some good news

and some bad news about your Popper Chopper.

The good news is that we've got

a drinks dispenser and some butterscotch sauce!

What's the bad news?

Oh, I can't remember what I've forgotten.

And we can find a way to get heat from the engine

to make the popcorn and stuff.

Why don't you to ask someone?

I've tried but no one knows what I've forgotten.

No, about the popcorn? Why don't you phone Monsieur Pamplemousse?

He's sure to know about popcorn. He's a chef.

Yeah, but he's always really horrible to me.

Please, Ed! We're desperate. Please!

All right. He lives in France, so you can pay the phone bill.

Egg, croissant...

Eh!

HONKING Monsieur?

Hello! Hello, Monsieur Pamplemousse.

I just need to get some information off you quickly...

Is that the Environmental 'Ealth Department?

I told you before, that rat was on ze menu!

No, no. I'm not the Environmental Health Department.

I'm Ed Petrie. I need to find out about making popcorn.

Ah, le popcorn! This is a delicacy in your country, is it not?

You use it to lure ze love of your life...oui? Oui?

Well, when you're were making popcorn, it must be very 'ot.

Yes, we know about that. A goldfish told us.

Zut alors! A goldfish?

Look...the thing is, we're using an engine as our heat source,

but we need to find a way of getting the heat from the engine

-to the popcorn seeds.

-Ha, ha!

Oh! For a moment there, I thought you said

you are using an engine to make ze popcorn!

-Ha, ha, ha!

-Ha...Yes. Yes...

About moving heat from one place to another...

For that, you need to find a good conductor.

'Eat is a form of energy, you idiot!

Everything is made up of molecules.

Something 'ot has molecules that jiggle very fast

and something cold has molecules that jiggle slower.

'Eat can be transferred from object to object.

Ze 'ot, fast, jiggling molecules bang into ze cold, slow molecules

and make them jiggle faster.

Surely you know this basic level of science, you crude primate!

Er...Kind of, yeah... Carry on though.

Once the slow molecules start jiggling faster,

they hit the other slow molecules next to them, making them jiggle

and so the 'eat begins to move along, molecule by molecule.

This is how 'eat is transferred from one place to another,

you culture-starved idiot from across the Channel!

So, we need to find something with molecules that will jiggle

to transfer the heat from the engine to the popcorn seeds?

Oui. Oui. You should use metal. It's very good at conducting ze 'eat.

Now, I don't have any more time to waste with you.

I have the dodo casserole to make for ze President.

So goodbye, scumbag English person!

Oh!

-Ah, ha-ha ha-ha!

-Ah, have I got some good news for you!

You've remembered what it is you've forgotten?

Oh, no. No, not that.

Monsieur Pamplemousse told me how heat is transferred.

Hot molecules jiggle cold molecules and make them hot as well.

He said we need to use metal to transfer the heat...

BELL RINGS What?

Ah, this is my alarm that I set

-when I've got something important to remember.

-Eh?

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-No, I still can't remember it.

All I know is it was super, super important.

-Are you sure you don't know, mate?

-Noss...

-How do you like the look of this Popper Chopper now?

-It looks great.

Yes, I think we're almost there.

We've got the engine here, creating loads of heat,

we've got a popcorn maker and between the two, we've got a pipe

to transfer heat to make your lovely popcorn.

If you like thermometers, you've come to the right place.

There's a thermometer on the engine to measure the heat of that,

a thermometer on the pipe,

a thermometer here to measure the heat of the popcorn maker.

-So, how do you fancy some butterscotch popcorn?

-Sounds good!

OK, let's start driving. Go, go, go!

Oh, great.

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Let's find out if it worked. Bagsy me first on the popcorn,

because I'm the oldest and the tallest.

Oh, no. Look at that!

Oh! That's not popcorn!

Yes, you're telling me!

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Will you stop going on about your popcorn necklace?

-Noss!

Hang on. Let's have a look at this...

Right, the engine's really hot... Oh, the pipe's a bit cooler.

-The popcorn maker's not very hot at all!

-Oh!

Right, so, the heat is getting to the pipe, but not transferring

to the popcorn maker. You know what this means?

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Back to the van!

-Back to the van!

-Back to the van!

OK, this is serious. Now, we've transferred the heat,

just like Monsieur Pamplemousse said.

-But it still wasn't hot enough to pop the popcorn.

-I know, but why?

We know the engine is hot enough, so where's the heat going?

Where's it disappearing too? It doesn't make sense.

Hey, what's that, Ed?

Oh, this? This is a knot I tied on my finger to make sure

I didn't forget something but I've forgotten what it's for.

I'm getting fed up with this.

Maybe it was to remind me to return this survival kit and compass,

-that I borrowed off Scott Stuck.

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Oh, no, no, no, that's not it.

I just couldn't be bothered to go to the Post Office.

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-You're right!

-He'll know all about heat and things.

-Di.

Cos he's out in the jungle I'll give him a ring, his number's on here.

BUZZING PHONE RINGS

Hello? Hello, are the search and rescue parties on their way?

Er, no. It's me, Ed Petrie.

Do you need me to contact the search and rescue parties for you?

No. No, no.

Everything here is fine.

I'm surviving in the jungle.

Oh, good. Because where are the search parties kept, eh?

I'd literally have to search for the search party!

Ha ha...hmmm.

-Can I help you with the something?

-Yeah, sorry.

-I wanted to ask some questions about heat, and how we move it.

-Ah! Heat.

Well, I know all about heat.

It's always hot here.

Always. Relentlessly.

We're making a Popper Chopper. It's a buggy that makes popcorn.

We know there's enough heat in the engine to make the popcorn.

We've got a pipe to transfer the heat,

but not enough heat is transferring from the pipe

-to the popcorn making bit, and we don't know why.

-Ah, well,

your heat is escaping which means you need insulation.

Insulation, right, right, right.

Some of the heat from the pipes is escaping into the air.

This loss of heat means that not enough heat is being transferred

to the popcorn making bit.

OK, OK. So, what do I do?

You need to insulate the metal pipes.

Metal is a good conductor of heat, because its molecules jiggle easily.

You need to surround the metal pipes

with a material made of molecules that will not jiggle very easily.

So, the heat will transfer along the pipe instead of into the air.

Oh, that's great, Scott.

Are you sure there isn't anything I can help you with?

Well, I am a bit thirsty.

I know there's a watering hole north of here, but some idiot

has taken my compass, and I've no hope of finding my way there.

Oh, oh dear.

Erm, well, I'm sure it'll turn up.

Thank you, bye.

So, my friends. What we need is some insulation.

-Wha?

-Insulation.

Basically, what we do, is we cover the pipe between the engine

and the popcorn maker, and that keeps in all the lovely heat,

and you can get it to the popcorn seeds.

What will we use, though?

We need to find a material that doesn't conduct heat well.

ED AND OUCHO: What we need...

Hang on, I was looking forward to this bit. I'll do this bit.

-BOTH: What we need...

-No, seriously, mate, people don't understand you,

you don't speak English. It's better if I do this.

-BOTH: What we need...

-Seriously, I was really looking forward to this.

What we need is an insulation testing machine

and I know just where to get one.

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Yes, it's great, isn't it?

It's my granny's tea tasting machine.

Granny is very fussy about her tea. She likes it nice and hot.

This tea tasting machine will spit it out if it's too cold.

Now, over here, we've got three teapots, that are all the same size.

They're wrapped in different materials.

-It's the materials we're testing. So, what have we got here?

-Tights.

Yes, that's tights.

-Newspaper.

-Newspaper, obviously. And that?

-Fluffy stuff.

That's the technical name for it, the scientific name. Fluffy stuff.

I found it in a loft over there.

So, I need to find out what the best insulator is, yeah?

What keeps the heat in. So, the teapot with the hottest tea in it

after half-an-hour has the best insulating material around it.

-Got it?

-Yep. Erm, Ed?

Is the tea going to be hot?

-No, as I said, Harvey spits out cold tea, doesn't he?

-Di.

You're perfectly fine, although that's a good point.

My gran is nuts about health and safety. Oh, she loves it.

She did a degree in it. She goes on about it all the time.

She's a real bore at Christmas.

When she built this, she knew what she was doing

but you at home might not do...

-OK, shall we start testing, then?

-Yep.

The first thing to do, is do nothing. Cos I've filled those up

with boiling water, so you need to wait for half-an-hour.

Wake up, Ed.

-OK. That's 30 minutes. Shall we test this tea?

-Yeah.

Right, let's start with the tights.

-Let's see how well this insulated the teapot.

-Di.

OK, that's all topped up.

What did it make of that?

-BELL RINGS

-Ah!

-What?

-Oh, dear. It doesn't like it. Too cold.

-The tights are no good.

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

What about newspaper? I think this will work brilliantly.

It's going to work really well, this.

This tea tasting machine is going to love this. I guarantee it.

BELL RINGS Oh, doh.

Ah!

This, as insulation, is rubbish. Literally.

Right, so it's just the fluffy stuff.

-The fluffy stuff.

-Yeah.

-Di.

It looks a bit like my granny's tea cosy, actually.

No, it works!

That means that this tea is lovely and hot.

-So, what shall we use to insulate our pipes?

-The green fluffy stuff.

The green fluffy stuff! Well, it can be any colour.

It can be pink for all I care, as long as it's fluffy insulation.

We'll use it on our pipe to keep it nice and hot, to make our popcorn.

# Harvey's Popper Chopper was this week's invention

# A popcorn necklace though was Oucho's intention

# Popcorn needs heating to 250 degrees

# Benson said an engine could do that with ease

# Found an old engine on the farm which was neat

# Stuck on a thermometer to show the right heat

# Engine got hot but the heat wasn't transferring

# As far as popcorn went it wasn't occurring

# How to move the heat was hard to deduce

# "You need a good conductor" said Pamplemousse

-# Conduction

-Yeah, yeah, yeah

-Di-di-di

# I hate the way Pamplemousse treats us like fools

-# Conduction

-Yeah, yeah, yeah

-Di-di-di

# He told us that heat is transferred by molecules

# Molecules

# Molecules Hooo!

# We used metal pipes Had a second go

# They certainly got hot but the popcorn less so

# Went to Scott Stuck for an explanation

# He said "Stop the heat escaping use insulation"

# Granny's tea-testing machine tried different types

# Turns out stuff from the loft would insulate our pipes

-# Insulator

-Yeah, yeah, yeah

-Di-di-di

# A material whose molecules don't jiggle about

-# Insulator

-Yeah, yeah, yeah

-Di-di-di

# Will our Popper Chopper work?

# Well we're in with a shout. #

Well, that was hard work.

We were up all night.

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Oucho, Harvey doesn't need to know that I drank all the tea,

and the real reason I was up all night was cos I was weeing.

-Urgh!

-Di.

-Don't blame me, blame him.

You translated it!

-Di!

-Yeah, all right, you've got a point. Shall we just get on

-with this? Anyway, it's been a lot of hard work.

-Di.

There are times when I wasn't sure we could pull it off.

-But, I'm pleased to announce...

-Di.

..that Oucho has made his popcorn necklace

-and sent it to his secret love.

-Oh, di.

-So, it's been nice working with you, see you around. Bye.

-What?

Only joking. No, shall we do this?

-Yeah.

-OK. Harvey asked us build him his Popper Chopper,

a buggy that makes butterscotch popcorn.

-And, here it is!

-Ta-daaa!

Only joking. That's two jokes. I'm on fire today.

-Di, di.

-Here it is!

Wow.

All we need now is your little brother, Ed. Nice name.

ALL: Ed!

Hi, Ed. Hi, Oucho.

Hello, Ed. Nice name.

Harvey, Ed, nice name, let's go!

-A brilliant invention, isn't it?

-Yes, it's an awesome invention.

It goes very fast.

-Nice cornering, Harvey.

-Di.

-I can't wait till it pops, can you?

-Oh, wow.

-Woo, this is fun!

-Hope it's hot enough for the popcorn.

-Ah, di.

I can smell it!

-Nice driving, Harvey.

-Di.

Now, of course, the big question is, is there any popcorn?

Of course there is. Oh, yeah. We know what we're doing.

-Look at that. Who wants some of this, then?

-Me!

-Me!

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Well, Harvey, it's your invention, you can go first.

-Thank you.

Is that enough? You said you like butterscotch.

-Orange squash, anyone?

-Me!

-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-It's losserly.

-Oh, di, di.

As Oucho would say it!

There you go. Harvey, you've driven really fast around your dad's farm,

-you've got your drink, and your butterscotch popcorn.

-Di.

-How d'you think it went?

-It went brilliant, Ed.

-Yeah?

-Did you remember what you'd forgotten?

-Oh, no.

No, I never did find out what I'd forgotten.

PHONE RINGS OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

That'll probably be the Big Big Cheese. I'll tell it went well.

Hello, boss...

Oh, hello Mum.

Mum, I'm on the telly at the moment, this isn't really...

Thank me? For what?

Your birthday present?

Yeah, I do normally forget, don't I?

Yeah, yeah. Well, the thing is...

It's the best one I've ever given you? Right, well...

glad you like it. The thing is, Mum, this might sound really weird,

but I've been working really hard in the last few days.

I've completely forgotten what it was I gave you. What was it again?

Popcorn necklace?

Oh, right.

Yeah. Yeah, glad you like it.

The thing is, I am on the telly.

Love you. I mean, bye.

I mean, I do love you. Love you.

That was really nice of you to remember my mum's birthday, Oucho.

-Ah, di.

-And a hand-made present, as well.

-Di di di!

-That's a lot of effort.

It's almost as if...

No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Don't be silly.

Oucho? Do you fancy my mum?

Errrrr...

Aaah! Ah, no!

Ahhhh!

That's wrong! I feel sick!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd