Rainbow a Go Go Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions

We've got a television show of our own

Making stuff that's been designed by you lot at home

Building your inventions the best that we can

Mostly out of rubbish from the back of our van

We've even got a title that will grab your attention

All together now...

Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions!

Oh, dear.

The old van doesn't sound too healthy, does it?

For a minute there, I thought the van was going to explode or something.

LOUD EXPLOSION

Unless that's part of a magic show, I think we're in trouble.

-LOUD BANG

-It's not part of a magic show.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Let's go and surprise Molly.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

What do you mean who? Molly.

She wrote to us? With this really good idea for a Rainbow-a-go-go.

Yeah? You spoke to her mum.

-You found out what her favourite thing in the world is.

-Oh! Di, di.

You got there in the end, didn't you?

Come on, let's go and surprise her.

Ed, Ed, Ed. SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Costumes?

You're absolutely sure you heard right about this?

Oh! Di, di, di. SPEAKS CACTINIAN

I don't look nice - I look like a total dinger.

-No.

-Oh, look, Molly's dad's got a camper van like ours.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

That's a Westfalia 1972. Since when were you a world expert on vans?

-Oh, maybe Molly could fix our van while we make her invention.

-Oh, di.

Surprise!

Hi, Ed, hi, Oucho.

-Hallo!

-Why are you dressed as goblins?

No, we're not goblins. We're...elves!

Ding-ding-ding, ding-a-ding-ding.

-Why are you dressed as elves?

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Yeah, because you love elves.

Happy elf day! Hurrah!

Hurrah for our elfic friends.

Ding-ding-ding, ding-a-ding-ding.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

Di, di. SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Yeah, you got all the Elvis films.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

And the Elvis albums...

Elvis. I love Elvis.

Can we come in?

OK, but you have to take your shoes off.

-Because of the carpet?

-No, because you look stupid.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Oucho, don't be so rude, shouting about cake like that. Have you got any cake?

I've got a bit of carrot cake.

Carrot...cake?

Carrot is not a flavour for a cake.

-Chocolate is a flavour for a cake.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Yeah, or bananas. Carrot cake. Ugh!

-Ugh!

Oh, by the way, couldn't help noticing you've got a van like ours outside.

No, ours is a Westfalia 1972.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Yeah, whatever. Anyway, ours is broken and I wondered if you could fix it.

-I can't, but my dad might be able to.

-Can you give him a shout?

Dad!

Yes, Molly?

-Do you think you could fix Ed and Oucho's van?

-I'll have a look.

Oh, great. Cheers, and if you find any non-carrot based cake

on your travels, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

So just pop that on your head there.

This will suck out all the great ideas.

Just tell us all about it.

I want to invent a weather machine so I can party with my friends.

I want it to make fluffy white clouds and rainbows.

It should also have a doughnut drawer

and a disco ball to make sparkly lights

and I'd like it to play my favourite Elvis songs so I can party with my friends.

# My blue suede shoes... #

That sounds great. What's your favourite Elvis song, Molly?

Blue Suede Shoes.

-When are your friends coming to par-tay with the Rainbow-a-go-go?

-On Saturday.

-That's in three days.

-Di.

I found out what's wrong. There's a banana stuck in the exhaust.

-How many times have I told you it eats petrol?!

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Yes, it does.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

It'll cost a fortune to fix it and we're broke. We wasted all our money on these stupid costumes!

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Yes, it would be great to have some gold.

-Unfortunately we haven't got any.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

We are not going to find any at the end of the rainbow.

I keep telling you, it's a myth. He talks a load of twaddle.

-We'll have to do something normal. Like earn it.

-Di.

-How do we earn money again?

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Oh, yes, by making inventions on the telly.

So, let's make money - I mean let's make Molly's Rainbow-a-go-go!

Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions!

Look at all this great stuff I found in the van.

And best of all, da-da-da-da!

Doughnuts. For the Rainbow-a-go-go. This is going to be a piece of cake.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-It's just an expression.

-Ah. Oucho, did you eat the doughnuts?

-Nos.

-Did you eat the doughnuts?

-Nos.

-Did you eat the doughnuts?

-Nos.

-Did you eat the doughnuts?

-Nos!

-Did you eat the doughnuts?

-Di.

-I thought this was going to be a piece of cake.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-No, it's just an expression.

Right. Buy more doughnuts.

Well, we've got a music player though, this old stereo.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-No, Dolly Parton's not inside it.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-No, she's not.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

You didn't shrink her with your special elf powers.

-That happened in your mind, didn't it?

-Di.

-Also,

we've got these...for clouds.

Look at that.

And with this,

we can make the rain, you see?

It's going to be great.

I'm just worried about the rainbow-maker and that other thing, the disco ball. Oh, I know.

I'll ask the internet. I'll just give it a ring.

I'm sure it's not busy.

-PHONE RINGS

-Who's that?

-Hello.

-It's Ed here.

Hi, Ed. Listen, I don't usually take phone calls.

Could you refer to one of my many excellent websites? I'm a bit tied up at the moment.

The thing is, we're in a hurry.

We have to make a disco ball for this thing called a Rainbow-a-go-go.

A disco ball... Right. I've got one here.

-What colour is it?

-It doesn't have a colour. It's a shiny ball.

Shiny ball. Right. Well, what colour is it?

It's not got a colour. It's a disco ball.

Listen, it's all to do with light.

Hang on, I've got a page about it somewhere.

Here it is. One of my better ones too. You see light,

like from the sun or a bulb, may appear to be white

but it's actually made of lots of different colours.

-Red, yellow, orange, green, blue, violet.

-Wha...? Hm, yeah.

Are you following me? Do you understand?

When light hits an object, some of the colours are absorbed by it

and and others bounce back off it into our eyes,

which is why we see it as the colour.

I mean, take for example something yellow. Say, custard.

Argh!

Oh, not custard. Ohh!

Oh, take a banana.

Right.

Now, when light hits a banana, some of the colours are absorbed by it

and others bounce back off it into our eyes,

which is why we see the banana as yellow.

Likewise...

tomato sauce.

No, not tomato sauce!

No. Tomato!

Tomato!

Now, when light hits a tomato, the light bounces off it,

it absorbs some of the colours except for red,

which bounces off it into our eyes,

-which is why we see the tomato as red. Are you following me?

-What? Oh.

Are you even listening to me?

You phone me up, you interrupt my string experiment

and you don't even listen to my answer?

Er, yeah, you've been very helpful, goodbye.

Oh that internet is boring. It'll never catch on.

Basically, if we want to make a disco ball

-we just need a big shiny ball.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

We've got a ball? Oh.

All right. Now.

How do we make it shiny? What's shiny?

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Our van. We'll paint it the same colour as our van. Piece of cake.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-It's just an expression!

Let's get this stuff and make our weather machine.

-Are you excited?

-Yes.

This is my favourite part of the show.

Seeing the look on their little faces. OK?

Ta-da!

-Wow!

-You see, dreams really can come true.

What are your first impressions?

-It's rubbish.

-Why?

-Well, that's a bit of card.

That's a rainbow. Oucho got that out of the sky.

There's also this here, that's your disco ball.

I know it may not look much now, but look at this.

-See?

-It's losserly!

-It's not doing anything.

-It is, it's shiny. Look how shiny it is.

-It's not shiny at all.

-What do you think of that? That's your clouds, you see?

It looks a lot like cotton wool.

It may do, but clouds look like cotton wool.

You see, we've brought the weather inside.

-Oh, di.

-It's still rubbish.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Actually, you know who's to blame for this fiasco. It's him.

Because I had something very urgent to attend to

and I left it all up to him. Yeah, he built it.

I hate it as much as you.

Kick it, kick it.

Yes, it's rubbish!

Don't you worry though.

We won't rest until this invention is perfect.

I was thinking, if you could only eat one type of cake for the rest of your life...

-Ahem!

-Oh!

-How is this going to help my invention?

Um...

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Research, yes, into...sunshine.

We were talking to the internet and he said this bright white sunlight

-is made up of lots of different colours.

-Oh.

And when it hits things, some of the colours are absorbed

-and some bounce back. You got that?

-Yeah.

-So you know our shiny ball?

-Yes.

-That was bouncing back green light, so it looked green.

-Di.

-You want your ball to bounce back white light, don't you?

-Yes.

So you get white lights dancing round the room.

So we need to wrap your ball in something that doesn't absorb any light at all.

So if we shine white light at it, we get white light back.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Makes sense, doesn't it? So what we have to do

is find something shinier than our van, but not a colour.

A mirror.

Sorry, we're thinking.

A mirror!

Just a second. Shinier than our van but not a colour.

Ed, a mirror!

Molly, just play with these bananas.

-Oh, I've got it.

-Wha?

No, it's gone again.

-A mirror.

-It's back! A mirror!

-Oh, di!

-I'm so clever sometimes, aren't I?

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-We've got one in the back of the van?

-Di.

Oh, great. Good.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-And it talks?

-Mm.

Of course it does. (It's best to humour him in these situations.)

Let's go and find your talking mirror, mate.

Oh, fair enough, there is a mirror in here.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Got to wake it up? Right. Mirror, woo! Wake up!

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

Tennis umpires, of course. They're pretty fair, yeah.

Then there's judges. Simon Cowell, yeah, he's very honest.

Sometimes a bit too honest if you ask me.

Fairest of them all, though. Tricky question.

That wasn't what I wanted to ask you, Mirror.

Then be very careful about asking important questions.

You only get to ask me three questions

-and you've already asked one, so you've only got two left.

-Really?

Yes. Now you've only got one left.

Can we get on with this please? I've got a busy afternoon ahead of me.

-No, you haven't. You just sit in the back of our van.

-I've got some thinking to do.

Reflecting, so to speak.

That's what I need to talk to you about - reflecting light,

because we're trying to build a Rainbow-a-go-go,

and it needs to reflect light. Do you know about mirrors, Mirror?

Yes. Sorry, that was your final question. Goodbye.

-No, no, wait.

-What?

-Come on, we're desperate.

OK, look. There's this girl called Danielle Darwin.

She works on the make-up counter at the department store, surrounded by mirrors all day.

Anyway, she might be able to help you.

-Brilliant. I'll pop you back now.

-Oh, thanks, and by the way Ed,

-could you bring me a slice of cake?

-Mirrors don't eat cake.

They don't speak either, yet...here we are.

-Fair enough, I suppose. I'll see what I can do.

-Thanks.

Right. Let's try down the department store.

-Ed?

-What?

Oh.

Yeah. I forgot our van was broken.

Molly, come here.

I don't suppose your dad would let us borrow his van, would he?

I don't think so. But I might have something else.

This is embarrassing.

Hello, Danielle.

Oh, hello!

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Who's strangely attractive?

-Oh, bless!

-What can I help you with, babes?

-We need to find out about mirrors

for a disco ball we're trying to make, and we thought

since you work with mirrors, you might know about them.

Oh, I do as it happens, partly from working here, and partly from my PhD

-in light and reflective technologies from Kings College Oxford.

-Oh, right.

So how do mirrors work?

All sources of light produce rays, and those rays

bounce off things, like handbags and footballers and puppies.

We learned all about light from the internet.

Well, with most objects, like handbags and...

-Footballers and puppies, yeah.

-When the light hits them,

it gets changed, and when it bounces into our eyes

we see those changes as shape and texture.

And colour. We learned about that as well.

But there's some objects, like mirrors, that are so-o-o-o good

at bouncing the light back, that it hardly changes at all.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Who's perfect?

And if a light hits the mirror, right? So that's the mirror.

If the light hits the mirror at this angle, yeah,

then it bounces off, at the same angle, in a different direction,

and if you move the mirror, the angle changes.

-What's the best reflective thing to wrap round something ball-shaped?

-I don't know. I never asked.

Oh, well. Thanks for your help. Come on.

Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions!

-Molly, You're probably wondering why we brought you here.

-Yeah.

Danielle has got us up to speed with reflections,

-so the big question is...

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Are we going to get our van fixed

is a big question, but the bigger question is...

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Where is your elf costume?

-Di.

Oh yes, where has that gone?

I really have no idea.

Ha, ha, ha!

No, no. The big question is what's the best way

-to reflect light off a ball? Are you ready?

-Yes.

We have this spinny stick thing. We'll put the ball on there.

These lights here...

will hopefully get the light reflected off the balls really well.

Oucho's in charge of turning off the main light.

What are we testing? Water is reflective,

so I thought maybe a ball soaked in water may be a way to go.

Also, we have a Christmas bauble.

That's shiny. Metal is reflective.

I used this to wrap my sandwiches earlier.

I haven't bothered cleaning it. It'll be fine.

-Then this weird thing we knocked up.

-It might work.

Yeah, it's a couple of mirrors strapped to the side of ball.

I'm not sure about it.

-Shall we begin?

-Yeah.

Lovely.

Oucho, turn off the lights.

Lovely.

-What do you think of that?

-Well, it didn't reflect.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Let's give this a bit of a clean.

Can't have a wet camera.

-Right. Which one next?

-That one with the ham and cheese in it.

Good, good. Duff, back in there.

Oh, dear. It's going everywhere already. Right...

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Start spinning. Keep an eye on the lights.

-Wasn't that impressive, was it?

-No.

Keep trashing this camera though. Probably don't need that.

-What next?

-The bauble, I think. It looks quite shiny.

It does look quite shiny. Here we go.

-What do you think?

-Didn't do as well as I thought it would.

No, it just glowed, didn't it?

You didn't get those little lights. Do you want to stick that on, then?

Lights off please, Oucho.

OK. Five, four, three, two, one, go!

It's reflecting off your face. And smashing into the camera as well.

This poor camera. What do you think of that?

Brilliant. I think it was the best.

Yes, it was, wasn't it? That was really good.

I think what we need to do is build a ball, 60ft high,

with about 200 different mirrors all round it,

then we'll have exactly what we need.

Or we could just keep the ball the same size

with lots of little mirrors.

Yeah, yeah, we could do that as well. If you want.

Mmm. I'm starting to think this carrot cake is all right actually.

-And it's really made out of carrots?

-Yes.

-The people in charge of naming things are getting pretty lazy.

-Di.

-Next they'll tell us rainbows are made out of rain.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

We'd better find out what they're made out of

otherwise we're not going to get paid.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Yes, we'll be able to find the pot of gold and fix our van.

-Di.

That reminds me, I've got the price of the exhaust for your van.

Oh great. Lovely. Thank you.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

No, it isn't cheap, no.

Big Cheese will be taking this out of our wages for...five years!

-Nine years.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

It's all right. There must be somebody round here

who knows how rainbows are made.

Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions!

-Now it's raining.

-Psst!

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

There's a strange woman trying to talk to us. Avoid eye contact.

I hear you're looking for...

weather information.

We were, but we're all right now, thanks.

Well, maybe I can be of...

assistance.

Oh, I recognise you, you're that weather girl off the telly!

-Shh! I'm in disguise.

-Oh. Why?

Them, they're everywhere and they don't want the public knowing too much information.

-What, about weather information?

-Exactly.

Take rainbows, for example.

Oh, we need to know about those.

Rainbows are made out of light.

In this case, sunlight.

Light slows down when it hits a rain drop.

-That's how rainbows are made?

-Yes, something top secret happens

-when light hits a rain drop.

-What?

It's called refraction.

Oh, wow!

What's refraction?

Refraction happens when light slows down, hits a rain drop

and allows us to see the separate colours that make up a light beam.

Imagine the colours in a beam of light as a line of agents,

running at the same speed in a line.

When we view them front on, we see them in a line,

but when we view them side on, we only see one agent.

But what would happen if they hit a patch of mud?

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-The Government would catch them?

No, they each slow down when they get to the mud.

-Oh.

-Oh.

If the mud was at an angle, like the edge of a rain drop,

one agent would come out of the mud first.

He'd be back on the grass running fast,

getting ahead of the other agents and we would see him clearly.

Then the next one would come out and run off, and then the next one,

then the next one and so on.

As the line isn't straight any more, we can see each separate agent.

This is what happens when white light passes through a rain drop.

Rather than seeing the big group, which is white light,

we see each individual colour that makes up a rainbow.

That's fantastic. So water breaks the sunlight up into its separate colours.

-Shh!

-Sorry.

That's right. And we call that refraction.

Each rain drop is only creating a tiny piece of the rainbow,

and the colours are being refracted

all over the place, so you need hundreds and thousands of rain drops

to shine at the same time, if you want to see a rainbow.

That's great. Thank you very much.

That's right. And tell no-one you've seen me.

OK. Yeah. We haven't seen you.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Yeah, she was weird, wasn't she? Seems more normal on telly.

-Anyway, we know about rainbows now.

-Di.

All we need is a big light and water. Simple.

Oi!

Argh!

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Look, I told you, you can't be an elf again.

That elf costume went missing... mysteriously.

Ooh-ooh! Ha, ha, ha!

Ooh-ooh!

-Hi, guys. I've got some non-carrot based cake here.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Lovely. We'll have that in a bit. We've got work to do first

because, Molls, we're about to do the final test on your weather machine.

Have a look at this. We have indoor sunlight

-shining on this, your disco ball.

-Brilliant.

Also - you're going to love this bit - dada!

-doughnut drawer!

-Fantastic.

-You peckish?

-Yeah.

Right. That's for later so you can't have any now.

-Also, we have your music maker. What do you think?

-It's not bad.

Yeah, you're right, it is brilliant.

We still have the final test and that's on this, the rainbow maker.

It looks just like a bunch of hoses.

It might look like that, but Oucho and I are trained professionals.

We know what we're doing.

OK. Ouch-meister, are you ready?

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Molly, you ready?

-Yep.

OK.

One rainbow coming up.

-Can you see the rainbow?

-No.

Can you see it? I can't see it.

Argh!

-Turn it off. Molly I can't see. I've got water in my eyes.

-It's stuck.

My television eyes!

-Did you see the rainbow?

-No, I didn't.

Oh, you poor thing. Oh, you poor thing.

Are you all right?

Oh, no, it's ruined!

Oh, you poor little cake.

Wha?!

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Let's get you dried off.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

Well, I'm not going to lie to you, Molly.

That didn't go exactly as planned.

We all got wet, and that poor little cake died in vain.

-It didn't really make a rainbow, either.

-All right. Don't rub it in!

In the Midlands there'll be rain hanging about for the next 24 hours.

-Hang on a minute. That's it!

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

No, not the Midlands, no.

What did she say in the park?

You need hundreds and thousands of rain drops to shine at the same time

if you want to see a big rainbow.

We haven't got enough rain drops!

We need more to cover a wider area, then we'll get our rainbow.

Let's make it a spray.

-That's a brilliant idea.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

No, you definitely won't get wet this time.

Come on, let's get building!

# This week was frankly a very tough call

# Oh, di

# A weather machine with a built-in disco ball

# Mm-hm

# Molly's design was called the Rainbow-a-go-go

# I have to admit I thought it was a no-no

# The internet told us about colour and light

# I was convinced we'd get our disco ball right

# We got a green beach ball that was nice and bright

# To say it was pathetic would be being polite

# Reflection

-# That's what we need Yeah, yeah

-Di, di

# Molly then suggested a mirror and me and Oucho agreed

# Got a magic mirror from the back of the van

# Mm-hm

# It sent to us a woman who looked a bit like a man... #

Ah, she's losserly.

# She said light needs something shiny to reflect it

# We tested different shiny things so we could perfect it

# For our next question we asked our weather girl

# She told us how rainbows were made, we gave it a whirl

# Our rain was too heavy but we got the gist

# All we need now is a fine water of mist

# For refraction

-# That's what we need Yeah, yeah

-Di, di

# And if we get this final test right

# I'm pretty sure we'll succeed. #

Molly, that wasn't the easiest invention we've made,

-but it was a tall order.

-SPEAKS CACTINIAN

I wouldn't go as far as saying it was a living nightmare.

-Anyway, shall we show everybody at home?

-Yes.

Molly asked us to make her a weather-making disco machine.

The Rainbow-a-go-go. It had to provide food, music and rainbows.

-Di.

-And here it is!

-No.

-ha-ha-ha!

-Not really.

Not that useless, are we? No, here it is!

-Look at that! A real live rainbow.

-Ah!

It's not much of a party without your friends, is it?

Molly's friends!

# Well, it's one for the money

# Two for the show

# Three to get ready Now go, cat, go

# But don't you

# Step on my blue suede shoes

# Well, you can do anything But stay off of my blue suede shoes

# Let's go, cats! #

-How's it going, Molly?

-Fantastic.

-What's your favourite so far?

-The rainbow worked well.

-Yes.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

He wants to find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

so he can buy an exhaust for the van.

See, I told you there was no such thing as the end of the rainbow.

It's myth. It's a fairy tale, a load of made-up old bobbins,

like the Loch Ness Monster or Sam and Mark's recording contract.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN

I don't think we'll ever be able to afford to fix our van.

We may have made Molly's dreams come true,

-but ours have been smashed to a million pieces.

-Di.

-Ow!

-Wha? Wha?

-As if wasn't bad enough, I just banged my shin on this.

-Wha?

Exhaust for a 1977 camper van.

Ow!

And this...box that says

"Free camper van parts, please take."

Come on, mate. It looks like we're walking from now on.

SPEAKS CACTINIAN