What a Long, Strange Camping Trip It's Been Endangered Species

# Let's go on an adventure

# That isn't very wise

# I love you guys

# This is getting crazier

# Feels like we're endangered

# Species! #

Hiya, world. You smell pretty...

What's the dealio, Merl?

The dealio of which you speak is that the outside, it is not safe.

Mother Nature, she is lurking.

Oh, I love Mother Nature.

She gives the tickliest butterfly kisses.

And the spine-busting-est bear hugs.

Yeah, we should totally reconnect with Mama Nature by going camping.

Woo-hoo! Camping's the last badge I need

for my Junior Gull Scout collection.

This one's for swamp swimming and this one's for dookie diving,

this one's for getting struck by lightning,

and this scorch mark is for getting struck by lightning twice.

To the camping I say, "No, gracias."

The wilderness, she is full of the dangers,

the ivy of poison,

the thirst, the hunger,

and the scary, hairy Big Foot.

Big Foot. Hey, I'd sure like to meet him or her.

And if you don't want to go to nature,

we'll just bring nature to...

We shall have no turning of the stump into an indoor camp ground.

Aww. Ha! What gives you the idea I'd do something like that?

-Let's go to the mountains.

-Chairlift, no!

The beach!

The racetrack!

Under the sea!

-No!

-Ah, good times.

The out of doors is called that for a reason.

She stays out the door.

Hmm.

This one's for armpit farting the Junior Gull Scouts salute.

Wanna hear?

FARTING

SNORING

RINGING

MERL SCREAMS

Huh? I do not remember buying the hopping clock and the jumping bed,

and the bouncing room.

The moles! We must do the hiding.

The moles, they rise up to rule us! I will not kneel before the moles.

Never!

-Relax, Mr Jumpy-Pants.

-Yeah, Merl.

We're just driving on a dirt road.

MERL SCREAMS

MERL GROANS

This one is for rides.

You said we couldn't camp in the stump,

so we turned the stump into a camper and brought it camping.

Pretty neat, huh?

Um, who is driving?

I am! ..Oh.

-We're going home!

-We're going camping!

-We are going home!

-Let it go!

THEY SQUABBLE

Oh, let me try!

So, that happened.

TRIUMPHANT MUSIC

HOWLING

MERL SCREAMS

Look around you, Gull. Pickle, she has sentenced us all to doom.

Huh, doom is way nicer looking than I thought.

We could starve out here

and have to do the eating of each other!

Oh, you simply must try my rump. That's where I'm juiciest.

-We must return to our home.

-But Merl, we are home. Sort of.

TREE GROANS

Hey, my Junior Gull Scout guidebook.

Hey, hey, hey!

Welcome to Camp Stumpy Fun!

As camp recreational director,

I've got lots of awesome activities planned.

Time for our dirt bike nature hike!

Dirt? Ooh, sounds fancy.

Merl says no.

I want to see how many bugs I can catch with my face.

We must think like the survivor, yes?

We must spot the dangers.

We must build the shelter.

Wow, Merl, you are going to earn

your Junior Gull Scout badges in no time.

Hey, look, Merl. Will those leaves be good for your hut?

Yes, we shall survive!

MILITARY STYLE MUSIC

Um, Gull, the leaves, what kind are they?

Ivy leaves. Wait...

Poison ivy leaves.

Oh, hey, guess we just spotted a danger, huh, Merl?

Ay, ay, ay. Me picante! Must scratch the itches, yes.

HE MOANS

I make el scratch-ione on the strange pile of dirt.

Oh, hey, I think I saw that in my book, Merl.

It's a...fire ant hill.

MERL SCREAMS

Oh, and that's a stinging nettle patch.

And that is something called...

HE MURMURS

Ah. Poison oak.

HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING

I know, right? I totally screamed too...

for joy! Cos you just earned your Danger Ranger badge.

A beehive! Great job, Merl.

Water fight!

I call hoses!

The water, but she is precious.

If we run out we will be drinking our sweat, our tears.

The stump's got plenty of water!

The water, she can be found by digging into the ground. Gull.

This one's for hose wrangling!

Make with the shovelling.

No problemo, Merl.

This one's for hole diggin'.

Bull's-eye! Having fun yet?

-Uch...

-Is this deep enough for you, Merl?

Wow! That is the most awesome geiser I've ever seen.

I call it Old Faithful.

Oh, sorry, Merl. Not enough for the bellyflop badge

but I know you'll love trying it again.

MERL SCREAMS

Let's shoot some wildlife.

Maybe I can get a shot of Big Foot.

Big Foot! I almost forgot-imente.

The perimeter, she must be secured with the traps.

A red-winged blackbird!

We should be protecting ourselves from wildlife.

A white-tailed deer!

That foolish bunny.

She is not understanding of the dangers that live in these woods.

The spider, the snake, the...

SCARY MUSIC

Hey, there. Are you new to the neighbourhood?

Big Foot!

I brought welcome muffins.

-MERL SCREAMS

-Oh.

Nice one, Merl. You just earned the trap tester badge!

A black and blue squirrel!

Give me pain. Ooh. Give me frustration.

Now give me rage.

Nice job, Merl.

I've worked with better, but not many.

What you up to, Merl?

I light the signal fire for the rescuing of us, yes?

But the book, she says I am needing the kindling.

You need to get more sticks, Merl.

Thank you, Pickle, but I'm sure everything

I need to light a fire is right here in this book.

Like you said, everything we need is right here in my book.

Oh, no!

Oh, yeah. And here's something else I got a badge for.

Gull!

This one is for methane magic.

Oh, is it campfire song time now?

# We love camping cos it's fun

# Cos it's fun in... #

Am I the only one who is taking our surviving el serious-o?

Adios, muchachos.

I will send a rescuing for you when I reach el civilizacion myself.

Bye, Merl!

THUDDING

Smells good! Mind if I join?

Smile!

So... you guys need to get that down?

MOANING AND RUSTLING

RUMBLING

Oh, the hunger, she strikes.

Start with my rump. You simply must try my rump.

That's where I'm juiciest.

Oh. So hungry.

Delirious.

GUITAR PLAYS "OH MY DARLING, CLEMENTINE"

Dude, you should totally go home.

Your idea is good, Signor Nutty Buddy.

How do I do such a thing?

Simple, bro. Swim.

ENGINE REVS

ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYS "OH MY DARLING, CLEMENTINE"

Viva la fish libre!

MERL SCREAMS

There you are, Merl. We were looking all over for you.

MERL GROANS

There, there, pal. All's well that ends well.

Oh, yeah, say hello to our new roomie.

What do you say, bro-seph?

MERL SCREAMS

Aww, I guess he finally found his love of the outdoors!

# We love camping cos it's fun

# Cos it's fun and fun and fun... #