Squirrel Plague!!! Endangered Species


Squirrel Plague!!!

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# Let's go on an adventure!

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# That isn't very wise

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# I love you guys! #

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-Waaaaaaah!

-Aaaaaaah!

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# This is getting crazier

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# Feels like we're endangered

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# Species. #

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HE SIGHS

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Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...

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Oh, man. This is going to be so much fun!

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Gull, you're really excited about the Antique Nut Show, aren't ya?

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Oh, very much so. I can't wait to see all of those exotic nuts.

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Merl says it's going to be the event of the nut season!

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Oh. How come you aren't going to come, Pickle?

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Yeah, well, the Nut Show sounds a little too boring for me, Gull.

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And with Merl out of the house, I'll finally be able

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to build my super-duper, fantastic surfboard lava slide!

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-HE GASPS

-Maybe me and Merl should stay here

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and help you with your surfboard lava...

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Shh! Gull! It's a secret!

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Come on, Merl. Your nuts are loaded and ready for the...

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Merl? Merrrrrl?

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Merl, we're going to miss the March of the Macadamia!

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GROANING

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D-did th-that sound like a z-zombie to you?

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LOUD WAILING

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SHE GASPS

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-Uggghh...

-Zombie!

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Merl! You look sick!

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There is nothing that will keep Merl from going to the Nut Sh... Aaaah!

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Mm... I think Merl's too sick to leave.

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Nah, you're fine, aren't you, Merl?

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Maybe Merl could take a LITTLE rest.

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Ugggghh.

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SHE SIGHS

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All right, but let's try and do this quickly.

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What are you doing?

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Just trying to figure some way to get you out of the stump fast.

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I mean, just making sure you're OK.

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Is it gas? I bet it's gas.

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-Boop, boop, boop.

-Stop that! Ohhh!

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-STOMACH RUMBLES

-It is not the gas.

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-Yep, got to be gas.

-HE GROANS

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Well, if I have my squirrel physiology correct,

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and I think I do, this looks to me like a case of squirrel plague.

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Squirrel plague!

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-What's squirrel plague?

-Ha-ha-ha!

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-HE COUGHS

-Don't be silly, Pickle.

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The squirrel plague, she has been eliminated. And if Merl had it...

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-HE SPLUTTERS

-..the tail, she'd be covered

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-in the yellow spots.

-Uh, Merl?

-Hmm?

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-HE GASPS

-No, no, no! This cannot be.

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Merl cannot have the squirrel plague!

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-HE SCREAMS

-Yeah, Merl needs a doctor.

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SHE GASPS

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Well, we really won't know for sure until we do a proper examination.

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STOMACH RUMBLES

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-Do it.

-Nurse Gull.

-Yes, Doctor?

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-Prepare the patient for examination.

-Yes, Doctor.

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I'm an ambulance. Siren, siren, siren...

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LOUD CRASHES MERL GROANS AND SCREAMS

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..siren, siren, siren...

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The patient is preparated, Doctor.

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Aah.

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Aaah!

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Very interesting.

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-I...

-HE GASPS

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SHE GASPS We need to rehydrate him!

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Yes, Doctor.

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Is that a garden hose?

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-Aaah!

-HE GASPS FOR AIR

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STOMACH GURGLES

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Aaa-aaa.

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-Well, the results are in and you are clear to go to the Nut Show.

-Yay!

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-Merl is OK?

-Totally. Other than a slight case of the moist mouth.

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-Moist mouth!

-Moist mouth?

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-There goes the lava slide.

-What is moist mouth?

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-I knew a squirrel who had the moist mouth once.

-Yes? And?

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-What happened to him?

-Like I said...

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I used to know him!

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-Aaaaaaaaah!

-Aaaaah!

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Bluh, bluh, bluh...

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Oh...

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-This tongue towel tastes funny.

-Gull! What are you doing?

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-Nothing.

-Those paper towels are covered with... Aaaargh!

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-STOMACH RUMBLES

-..the squirrel plague.

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Mm. Is that what that taste is?

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Mm... Very plague-alicious.

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That is it! It is up to Merl to keep everyone in this stump...

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-STOMACH RUMBLES

-..safe.

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What are you going to do, Merl?

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-Merl is going into quarantine.

-STOMACH GRUMBLES

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Aaah, aah.

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Fight, Merl. You are strong.

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You can beat this plague.

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-STOMACH RUMBLES

-Ay-ay!

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Oh, Gull, I can't bear to watch this any more!

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It's just so sad and...a little boring.

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Actually, more than a little boring. But mostly just so, so sad!

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Quick, Gull! Tell me a happy story!

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Mm. Well, let's see. There's just so many happy stories to tell.

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You know, right up until the whole squirrel plague-y thing, that is.

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Hmm... Well, maybe just pick one from your happy childhood, then.

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Oh, that's easy!

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When I was growing up, all alone on my rotting heap of garbage

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with no parents to feed me or hug me, or love me...

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Oh, why would you tell me such a sad story?

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Well, hold on. I'm not done yet. There is still a happy ending.

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After that, I met you and Merl

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and we all moved in together into our new stump home.

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You're right. That is a happy ending. Ohhh...

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Aarrrrrghhhh!

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-MERL GROANS

-Happy.

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I want him to be happy again!

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That is it! Those two have no respect for the dying...

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STOMACH GROANS

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The end...

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She is coming.

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I'm just happy.

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PFFFFFRRRT!

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Merl? GLASS BREAKS

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SOMBRE ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS

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Merl was the bestest friend what I ever had, even.

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I think Merl put it best when he said,

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"Aaaah! Oh, oh! Waaaaaah!"

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-We must honour his memory...

-..with a 21 snot salute.

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KNOCK AT THE DOOR

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Hey! Beat it, pal! Can't you see we're mourning Merl?

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SHE GASPS Merl!

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-Yes?

-It's... Is it really, really you?

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Of course it is me. The Merl.

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-He's aliiive!

-He's a ghost!

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-Aaaaaaaah!

-What?

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-No, I am not the ghost.

-Oh, so you're cured?

-Eh...

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It turns out the squirrel plague was simply the...gassiness.

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Once it was...relieved by the grandioso fartissimo,

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then the pain, she was...gone.

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Aaaaah! So, it was gas. Ha-ha, I was right.

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-Uh, I was right?

-But what about the yellow spots on your tail?

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Oh, yes, the spots.

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These were just the mustard stains from Gull's hot dog.

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Mm... Ghost hot dog.

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-Ghost hot dog?

-HE SCREAMS

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Hey, Gull? Gull?

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GULL!

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Look! He's not a ghost. He's Merl.

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Merl? Not dead?

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For realsies?

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-BOTH:

-Yeaaaaaaaah!

-Enough!

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Now look. It's been a very long and painful day for Merl

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and all I want to do is take my valuable prized nut collection

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and have it appraised by the experts at the Nut Show.

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Yes! Finally! Off to the Nut Show!

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Where is my prized nut collection?

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Yeah, where is Merl's prized nut collection?

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Yeah, so, the nearest I can figure is... Looks like the birds got them.

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Merl...would have wanted this.

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HE BURPS

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-BOTH:

-The birds?

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Oh, yeah. Yup, yup, that's what we're figuring.

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-So all my prized nuts are gone?

-So all his prized nuts are gone?

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-AND I missed the Nut Show?

-AND he missed the Nut Show?

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Well, look on the bright side, guys.

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We've got a whole year to collect more nuts for the next Nut Show!

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-HE WHIMPERS

-No! My nuts!

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Merl's nuts!

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Nuts!

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