Beard Goggles Endangered Species
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
# Let's go on an adventure! | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
# That isn't very wise | 0:00:03 | 0:00:06 | |
# I love you guys! # | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
-Waaaaah! -Aaaaaah! | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
# This is getting crazier | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
# Feels like we're endangered... | 0:00:17 | 0:00:22 | |
# Species! # | 0:00:23 | 0:00:27 | |
MERL SIGHS | 0:00:27 | 0:00:28 | |
SPORTS BUILD-UP MUSIC | 0:00:28 | 0:00:31 | |
Da-da-da-da-da-da! | 0:00:31 | 0:00:33 | |
Charge-amente. | 0:00:33 | 0:00:37 | |
Ah, she is time for hockey night in this town. | 0:00:37 | 0:00:41 | |
-WITH MUSIC: -Aye-aye-aye-aye-aye-aye. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
Merl, are you OK? It sounds like you're stubbing your toe | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
but over and over and over and over and over and over and over | 0:00:47 | 0:00:50 | |
and over, over, over. | 0:00:50 | 0:00:52 | |
Hey, this toe is totally unstubbed. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:56 | |
Cancel the toe alert, Gull. Merl's just watching that hockey stuff. | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
Not just hockey, the greatest hockey team ever, | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
The Woodland Squirrels, | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
back in the play-off for the first time in 66 years. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:08 | |
Wouldn't that make The Squirrels the worst team ever? | 0:01:08 | 0:01:12 | |
The very worst, but the true fan, he cares not for the mere winning | 0:01:12 | 0:01:17 | |
and losing - no, the true fan cares about the mojo. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:22 | |
The mojo penny, found under the coach by Grandpapa, | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
during The Squirrels' last play-off win. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:28 | |
The mojo mop mopped the tears of Grandpapa during the Squirrels' | 0:01:28 | 0:01:32 | |
many, many, many play-off losses. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:35 | |
The mojo mouldy hot dog, | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
regurgitated-amente by Grandpapa, | 0:01:37 | 0:01:40 | |
also during one The Squirrels' many, many, many, many, many | 0:01:40 | 0:01:43 | |
play-off losses. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
Oh, Grandpapa! | 0:01:45 | 0:01:46 | |
What a weak stomach you must have had! | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
If those things are so mojo-rific, why do The Squirrels keep losing? | 0:01:49 | 0:01:54 | |
A simple answer, my simple friend. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:57 | |
These things, they are useless without the king of all the mojo, | 0:01:57 | 0:02:01 | |
the luxurioso play-off beard. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:06 | |
Oh, right... | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
-The play-off beard. So you going to grow one, Merl? -Que?! | 0:02:08 | 0:02:12 | |
I have grown my magnifico plumage | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
since The Squirrels got into the play-offs a month ago. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:19 | |
Oh, yeah... Yeah, there it is. I think I see it. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
Oh, no... | 0:02:22 | 0:02:23 | |
Yes, it is just my imagination. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
Eh?! | 0:02:28 | 0:02:29 | |
Your confused expressions tell me that you are mucho impressed. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:33 | |
Let us all bask in my beard mojo as my Squirrels, they skate to glory. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:39 | |
BUZZER BEEPS | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
And your final score, Screaming Eagles 57 there | 0:02:41 | 0:02:44 | |
and The Woodland Squirrels, what? | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
Yay! Merl's tiny beard did it! One of the teams won! | 0:02:47 | 0:02:51 | |
It's a miracle. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
See, this is all Merl's fault. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
My beard, she does not have the mojo to lead The Squirrels to victory. | 0:02:56 | 0:03:00 | |
Go on, Gull, eat the mojo dog. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
She is useless to me. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:04 | |
Eat the what, the who now? | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
MERL SOBS | 0:03:08 | 0:03:12 | |
Here we go, sillyoldwivestales.com. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:15 | |
This World Wide Web site will tell us how to grow your beard, Merl. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:18 | |
Old wives' tales? | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
Are those not just a bunch of tales exclusively for the old wives? | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
Nah, remember when Gull messed up his eyes | 0:03:23 | 0:03:26 | |
sitting too close to the TV? | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
This site said carrots are good for your eyes. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
Hmm. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
Relax, Merl. The website's real clear. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
Regular shaving makes beards grow faster and thicker. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
A little here and a little... | 0:03:44 | 0:03:48 | |
-Done! -Oh, let me see, let me see! | 0:03:51 | 0:03:54 | |
I still look like Merl. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:57 | |
Muy bueno. Muy, muy bueno, Gull. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:00 | |
Soon el beardo grande, she will come. | 0:04:00 | 0:04:03 | |
Hey, what, no tip?! | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
And after one period, The Squirrels find themselves once again behind. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:13 | |
But with only 708 goals to make up for, it's still anybody's game. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:18 | |
The shaving is not working either! | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
Merl, I don't mind growing a beard if it's for you. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:25 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:04:26 | 0:04:29 | |
You - grow a beard?! | 0:04:29 | 0:04:31 | |
Oh, Gull, you have the least amount of mojo I have ever seen. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:34 | |
But if you are wanting to waste your time with yet another | 0:04:34 | 0:04:38 | |
idea ridiculoso, be my guest. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:42 | |
Aah! Wasting time! My favourite! | 0:04:42 | 0:04:46 | |
Hey! | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
Ah, fitting in. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
Huh, well, looks like someone has more mojo then someone else thought. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:08 | |
To be clear, first someone, Gull, second someone, Merl. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:12 | |
I am aware of the someone order! | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
HE BELCHES | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
I will admit, Gull's beard, she is mucho luxurisimo | 0:05:28 | 0:05:33 | |
but that does not mean he has the mojo. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:37 | |
And The Squirrels jump up to an early 300-goal lead. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
It's almost as if somebody out there grew the most luxurious of all | 0:05:41 | 0:05:46 | |
play-off beards there. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
And The Squirrels score. The Squirrels score! | 0:05:49 | 0:05:53 | |
Look at that, The Squirrels score again! | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
Two goals at once that time. Sure it's totally against the rules | 0:05:55 | 0:05:59 | |
but who cares? The Squirrels score! | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
Ahem. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
(Shhh.) | 0:06:10 | 0:06:12 | |
You should be ashamed of yourself, letting the Gull have all the mojo. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:19 | |
But The Squirrels, they are winning. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
What difference does it make whose mojo is doing what? | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
What difference does it make?! | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
Your family have been loyal fans for generaciones. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
What would Grandpapa say? | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
But Merl, he cannot grow the beard. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
Just because we cannot grow the beard, does not | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
mean we cannot have the beard. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
Huh! Is this the clippers I see before me? | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
It is the numero uno fan that should possess the mojo! | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:06:59 | 0:07:01 | |
RAZOR BUZZES | 0:07:01 | 0:07:03 | |
Merl! Oh, Merl! | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
You didn't! | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
Whoa! Merl, your beard came in! | 0:07:13 | 0:07:16 | |
Oh, that is lucky timing because mine somehow fell off last night. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:20 | |
Spooky! | 0:07:20 | 0:07:22 | |
Well, Merl, you took the world's most luxurious beard and ruined it. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:27 | |
For shame, for beard shame. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
There is no shame if The Squirrels win because of my mojo. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:34 | |
I am the numero uno fan, not Gull. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
I'm sorry, Merl, I should have been more mumano nunomoyo. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:42 | |
I'm not munamo numono! | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
I hope you and beard will be happy together. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
And, by the way, it looks great on you. For shame! | 0:07:50 | 0:07:54 | |
Ssh! Do not listen to them, beard. Whoops. | 0:07:56 | 0:08:00 | |
Hmmmm. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
BUZZER BEEPS | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
No, it's not what you think, Eagles jump to a lead | 0:08:06 | 0:08:09 | |
three microseconds into this contest. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
-I mean... -What?! -It's got to be some kind of record or something there. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:15 | |
OK, it is just a one goal. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
We still have mucho of the mojo. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:19 | |
BUZZER BEEPS | 0:08:19 | 0:08:20 | |
Eagles score and it seems like The Squirrels have completely | 0:08:20 | 0:08:23 | |
lost any mojo they had. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
Repeat, lost their mojo there. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:29 | |
BUZZER BEEPS | 0:08:29 | 0:08:30 | |
And with the score 78-7 for Eagles, | 0:08:30 | 0:08:32 | |
I'm afraid she's all over but the crying, Squirrel fans. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
MERL SOBS | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
Merl! | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
Gracias, me amigos. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
Merl has received his desserts, which are just. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
Can you forgive a beardless squirrel? | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
Oh, that's OK, Merl. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
Hey, you're missing the big game. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:58 | |
Eagles score, like...really lots. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
MERL SIGHS | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
If Merl wants mojo, I'll give him tapioca. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:09 | |
Squirrels score! | 0:09:12 | 0:09:13 | |
It's not like they can turn this game around and just win, | 0:09:13 | 0:09:17 | |
or can they? | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
No. Oh, yes! Maybe... | 0:09:19 | 0:09:23 | |
We need more power. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:24 | |
Eagles shoot and... | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
What a save! | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
Wait, The Squirrels right winger Nutsky drives it to the net | 0:09:28 | 0:09:32 | |
and he scores! What a beauty there! | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
You had to see it to believe it there, though, eh?! | 0:09:35 | 0:09:38 | |
Que? What is this? | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
Nutsky scores again. Look out, Eagles, | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
The Squirrels are on fire there, though, eh? | 0:09:44 | 0:09:47 | |
Keep rubbing the balloons, people, keep rubbing the balloons. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:52 | |
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! | 0:09:54 | 0:09:58 | |
Oh! | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
Well, that's the game, folks. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:03 | |
The entire arena appears to have been blown into space | 0:10:03 | 0:10:06 | |
by some kind of mojo meltdown there. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
We wish the both teams luck and a safe voyage back to earth. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:13 | |
So goodnight. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
I guess Gull had too much mojo. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
It appears to be so. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
Well, there is always next season. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 |