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The Fast and the Furriest Endangered Species

The Fast and the Furriest

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# Let's go on an adventure

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# That isn't very wise

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# Ha-ha-ha, I love you guys... #

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Wah!

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Ah!

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Whoa!

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# This is getting crazier

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# Feels like we're endangered

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# Species! #

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GULL MAKES CAR ENGINE NOISE

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What you doing, Gull?

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Hey, Pickle. I'm pretending to race on our new race car set.

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Pretend? How about we all open it?

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Pickle? What are you doing?

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-Let's race!

-Oh, yeah!

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No, no, no. Not race.

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First, you must learn to drive safely.

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I will make for you el perfecto track for the training.

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It will be straight and safe, with the limits of speed

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and the rules of the road.

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And an off-ramp to fly.

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IMAGINARY CROWDS APPLAUD

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Ready, set,

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go!

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Oh, I want a race car, too.

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Maybe we start with this sensible automobile.

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-Yes?

-Er, well, OK. Sensible.

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Whoo-hoo!

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Ooh, I want to whoo-hoo too.

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The student driver, he does not get the whoo-hoo too.

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He gets the student driver sign.

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-Next, the road. She must also be made safe with the signs.

-Yeah!

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Oh, gnarly!

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-PICKLE LAUGHS

-Aargh!

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Oh, that looks fun.

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No, it does not.

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The road - she is no fun unless she is safe.

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Let us begin the driving lesson.

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Gently press the hand control, yes.

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Eh. Close enough.

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Now, there are three rules to the safe driving. Uno -

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respect the instructor of the driving.

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-That is me.

-Hey, Merl.

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Ah!

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Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Merl.

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Dos - drive the speed...

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..limit, yes.

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And tres - obey all traffic signs.

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Close enough.

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Hey, Merl! How's my driving?

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Pickle - she is going through the red light

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on the closed road.

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While driving with her feet?!

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Did you not see the "No Driving With Your Feet" sign?!

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Oh, slow down. Keep right.

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Watch for the deer!

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Why do we have the deer in the house?

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-Yield! One way! U-turns!

-TYRES SCREECH

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No skid marks!

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This breaking of the rules...

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Not on my highway, bandida.

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I set up this speed trap, yes?

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La bandida - she suspects nothing.

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ENGINE ROARS AND MACHINE BEEPS

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WHEELS SCREECH

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Whee-oh,

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whee-oh, whee-oh!

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Do the pulling of the over, motor vehicle violator.

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Whoo-hoo-hoo!

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Breaker 1-9 for the Birdman.

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That's you, Gull. Turn on your radio!

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Oh, oh, erm, hello?

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Dude, not your cellphone, your radio.

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Oh...ahem...oh, got you.

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Breaker 1-9 for the Birdman.

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This is the Birdman,

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doing one quarter of a double-nickel in the Granny Lane, over.

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Copy that, Birdman.

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I need change for a 20 on the Smokey and the Bear who's there. Over.

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Be advised, you have got a 10-17

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pulling pogo-sticks up your back door,

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and a 10-77, minus 3, plus 2, coming up in your 5, over.

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Whoo!

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That's a big 10-4, good buddy. Over and out.

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Stop making the funny talk and pull over.

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This is not a car chase game.

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Shake some trees and rake some leaves.

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We're playing the car chase game!

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We're playing the car chase game!

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We are not playing the car chase game.

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Car chase game!

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Oh, I know, in this game,

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I want to be the little old lady with the baby carriage who always

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walks across the street, right in the middle of a high-speed car chase.

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-Ah!

-Ah!

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Everybody!

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-Ah!

-Ah!

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Everybody!

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Ah, ugh...

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Dang hot-rodding hooligans! Can't you read the sign?

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Can you not read the other sign?

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Oh, ha-ha. Oh, sorry, Merl.

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Oh, I know, I'll be the guys walking through a car chase

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with a sheet of glass.

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-Great idea, front-of-the-glass Gull.

-Thanks, buddy.

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Whoo-hoo-hoo!

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Whoops!

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Gull, out of the way.

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Ah...

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Gull, out of the way.

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Move out of the...

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THUD

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-Ugh.

-Ooh, hey, look, it's Merl.

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Hey, Merl, what are you doing lying on the road there?

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Gull, the road hazards, they must stop.

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Oh, but then I'll never get to finish that bridge I was building

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over Soiled Sofa Canyon.

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EAGLE SCREECHES

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Just put these flimsy barriers in front of it and we shall be safe.

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Oh, good idea. ENGINE ROARS

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ENGINES PURR

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The high gear, the shift...

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It is time.

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Muuuuh...

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Waaah...

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Pull over, Pickle.

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The chase - it ends now.

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Like, right now? By that red light?

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What red light?

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SQUIRREL SPEAKS SPANISH

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Hey, Merl.

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Ugh..grr...

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-How's it going?

-It is not going, muchacha.

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-ENGINE ROARS

-You are not obeying the law.

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That's OK, Merl. I don't care much for the rules, anyway.

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She speeds - I obey.

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The only way to catch her is to break the law too...

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-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

-GULL SLURPS

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But, no, I must obey.

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TRAFFIC LIGHT BEEPS

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-Yeeha!

-ENGINE ROARS

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-Come on!

-SIREN WAILS

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Obey, obey, obey...

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Oh, who cares?!

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ENGINE ROARS

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I broke the law.

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Yes, I broke the law.

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This, it was not bad.

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In fact, it was fantastico!

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Merl, you're speeding? That's fun, isn't it?

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-Yes, yes, it is. It is fun.

-HE GIBBERS

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Oh, hey, I speak that language too. HE GIBBERS

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Merl, you're driving with one hand.

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Don't you know that's against the law?

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Now I understand.

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No laws, no rules - never again. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

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What's gotten into you, Merl?

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Freedom!

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I like wearing moustache.

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Everything OK, Merl?

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-You seem a little...

-Insane?

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No, I have never been more alive.

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Viva el Merl the lawless.

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Look, Ma, no hands!

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No, there are rules to breaking rules,

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and you're breaking all of them.

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Yes, I am the breaker of all that can be broken.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Oh, I'm finally getting it.

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HE CRASHES Nope, not getting it.

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GLASS SHATTERS

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Merl, stop. You're acting all crazy-like.

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You're going to hurt yourself.

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Now, what was it that Merl said about driving rules?

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I'd better check.

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Ha-ha! Who needs brakes? Not me.

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I am never stopping. Ha-ha-ha!

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I have never felt so much of this - how you say? Aliveness.

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Hey, this is where I built my unfinished bridge.

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Well, it's a good thing those flimsy barriers'll keep us safe.

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Now, what's that rule about unfinished bridges?

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-Gull!

-GULL SLURPS

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-Move out of the way!

-Uh-oh, collisions, collisions...

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-Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

-Ah!

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It says to...scream!

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-Ah!

-Ah!

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-I'll save you, Merl.

-Ah!

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Now, it sure done look like Pickle and Merl got themselves

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-into a real predicament this time.

-THEY SIGH

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-Ah!

-Ooh!

-Ah!

-Oh!

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-The lawless law-breaking, perhaps it was a mistake, yes?

-You think?

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-Ah!

-Ooh!

-Oh!

-Ah!

-Oh!

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-I will feel that tomorrow.

-If we're still breathing tomorrow.

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THUD

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Ah...

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Break the law? Never again.

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It's good to have you back, Merl.

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It is good to be back, and we are going to be OK,

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now that we are safely inside this ambulance.

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-And I'm driving it.

-No-o-o-o!

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I'll show you everything I learned from Merl's driving lessons.

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-Ah! Ah! Ah!

-Ah! Ah!

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-Ah!

-Ah!

-Ah!

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