Episode 7 Fit

Hello, this is the FIT o'clock news. Our top stories today:

Scientists have developed a new springy material

to be used in trampolines,

although initial trials have not gone entirely to plan.

Are you all right?

Britain's top racing driver admits he lost valuable time

on the 12th lap of yesterday's Formula 1 race

when he stopped for refuelling

and had to wait ten minutes in the queue to pay.

But first, we go over live to a press conference

where a local hero tells of his brave canal rescue.

I just did what anybody else would have done in those circumstances.

I heard a splash in the water and my house backs onto the canal,

so I just rushed out.

It was early in the morning, so luckily I was still in my pyjamas.

I didn't even think about it, I just dived in.

He'd already sunk to the bottom by the time I got in,

so I just grabbed him and pulled him to the surface.

Thank goodness for those school lifesaving lessons I took.

I'd want anyone to have done the same

if it had been my brick that had fallen into the canal.

Welcome back to the World's Strongest Mum.

This final is evenly poised following the first two events.

Event 1 - the Time For School Pull.

Won by Judith in a time of 2 minutes, 37.

That gave her a healthy lead over the Finnish competitor, Olga,

who scored a zero after letting her boy stay home

because he felt a little bit poorly.

Then it was onto Event 2 - the Test Of Mental Strength.

That event was all Olga.

She lasted 4 minutes, 23 seconds before losing her temper.

And a big thank you to the judge,

who eventually managed to calm her down.

That win for the Finn makes it honours even

as we go into the final event - The Weekly Shop.

And...here's Olga getting ready to face her pram.

Talking of pram faces, here's the favourite, Judith,

one of the strongest mums we've ever seen.

Starting marks, please.

Set.

WHISTLE BLOWS

And look at this - a technical problem with the brakes

on Judith's pram, hopefully she's kept the receipt.

Olga reaches the supermarket check-out first,

and that's a lot of shopping,

at least ten packets of fish fingers.

Judith picks up the pace and faces the obstacle

known as the dreaded Flight Of Stairs With Nobody Around To Help You.

This is where all mums are really put to the test.

Both mums reaching exhaustion now,

but they still need to unpack the shopping.

They'll lose points if those fish fingers start melting.

And Judith, really making this look easy.

Anyone would think mums have to do this every day.

Judith does her first bag, but look at Olga!

She's really struggling to keep up.

Judith - just one more bag to go and the title is hers.

HORN BLASTS And that's it, she's done it.

-Yeah!

-Textbook.

And it's a first place for Judith, this year's World's Strongest Mum.

Years of training, frustration and above all, dedication,

have brought Judith to the pinnacle of the sport.

Unfortunately it looks like in the excitement,

she forgot to pick up Lola from the nursery.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-SMASH!

-Ooh!

-Heads or tails?

-Tails, please.

Next to the floor, representing Poland, is Jadwiga Gelchinsky.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

AUDIENCE GASP

Right.

-Where are your golf clubs, Simon?

-I thought they provided them.

They're rubbish. What you want to do to play this game properly

is get a set of premium golf clubs customised to suit you.

Now, come on, let's play golf.

Yep. OK.

Right. Let's move onto the next one.

I think there's a problem with the ramp.

Sorry, Miss, I can't do swimming today. I've got a note.

I've had an ear infection and I'm not allowed to put my head underwater.

Yeah, Miss, I can't do it either.

I'm working on a rap and I really need to finish it. Oh!

Hey, Chad Stevens here with more super awesome time-saving tips.

Mowing the lawn is super-important, especially for dads and uncles.

But it can take ages.

So, next time Frank from next door is mowing the lawn,

why don't you move your fence back so he does yours too?

No. My lovely fence!

Bonus tip -

save the time you'd spend putting in decking by breaking your fence.

Job done!

Huh? Huh?

Yeah, I play a lot of football, um, jogging, obviously.

I go to the gym for two hours a day, rugby, hockey, cross country,

skiing in the winter, um, marathons in the summer.

And I go swimming twice a day.

Which is probably why I got sacked from my job.

CHEERING

WHISTLE BLOWS

CHEERING

# I am a new model

# I am a new model... #

To satisfy the terms of their lucrative modelling contracts,

our up-and-coming models have to undergo a thorough medical.

Your height?

-190 centimetres.

-Really?

And do you know how tall you are without your heels?

Me? Without heels?

You're funny, I like you.

OK, um, uh, I'll just put down 170.

-Do you take any regular exercise?

-Course I do.

I have to walk right up the catwalk

and then all the way back down again.

Yep, I suppose that counts.

OK, so if you could just roll up your sleeve for me, please?

Um, I said, if you could just roll up your sleeve for me, please?

Is there not someone coming to roll it up for me?

I don't usually do my own sleeve-rolling.

I need to take your blood pressure.

I can assure you that if I have to do my own sleeve-rolling,

my blood pressure will rise up.

Let's start with taking your temperature.

If you'd like to put that thermometer in your mouth, please?

What? I wasn't told I'd be working with a prop.

Nobody said anything to me about me having to open my mouth.

I'll bet you'll want me to close it too.

So very much.

All of this should have been cleared with my agent.

I don't have to put up with this, I'm almost a model.

-Oh!

-Oh, so under any recent injuries, I'll put "twisted ankle".

Ah, I broke a heel.

And "bruised ego".

I take plenty of exercise.

I went to the gym and lost 30 pounds, and then I went back the next month

and they took another 30 pounds off me. Pricey.

-How will it turn out? It's the best!

-Ah, lovely. Well done, Son.

Very, very good, Robert.

Maybe he should be an architect after all...

Sorry, are we in the way?

OK, guys. We're lucky to have Matthias over here from Sweden

to tell us about his product.

OK, so basically, we make an energy drink

which is very popular back home

and we are looking to launch it in the UK.

So, what I'm needing is for you crazy, creative guys,

to come up with a new catchy slogan for...

..WiWi.

-It's really called WiWi?

-Yeah. Sure, WiWi.

And you're definitely sticking with the name WiWi for the UK launch?

-Yeah, that's the brand.

-Does it really need to be yellow?

Yeah, sure, it's, uh, citrus flavour.

Can we taste your WiWi?

Yeah, sure, fire ahead, go away.

Oh, no. My WiWi's on the floor.

Look, everyone, I'm drinking Matthius's WiWi.

OK, let's workshop slogans for WiWi, guys,

show Matthius what you can do.

OK, for a taste you'll never forget, drink WiWi.

Start your day with a WiWi.

Warning, going without a WiWi for days might make you explode.

Sometimes I have five WiWi's a day.

Matthius, if you're not happy to change the name

before you launch in Britain, WiWi's going to go...

well, down the toilet.

Why, does it mean something bad in English?

Put it this way, they've been taking the...Mickey.

OK, OK, well, that is a problem.

I tell you what, guys, if you don't like the sound of WiWi,

perhaps you can help us promote our new energy bar...

..Plop Plop!

Can I go first?

-Ow!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Next on the ice, it's Debbie Cotterill.

She has no experience, has been skating for no years,

and, ah, great start.

A nice my-legs-don't-belong-to-me walk there,

with a textbook arm flail.

Displaying a perfect lack of balance.

What a, what a lovely combination that was,

the crowd really appreciating that. And there is the full arm windmill.

Uh, just...just look at that centre of gravity.

It's all... Oh! And she's down. What a fall.

Executed to perfection. A real crowd-pleaser that one.

Oh, and... Oh, there's the Bambi just-been-born manoeuvre,

she's really nailed that and, oh, here's the official here now.

So, yes, she's taking his hand

and this is going to be a great routine, yes, look at that.

Perfect end to the routine. Absolutely.

And the flowers are well-deserved.

So let's see what the judges have to say. Oh!

And it's a perfect zero across the board,

tremendous stuff from Cotterill.

WHISTLE BLOWS

This is an important message. Please put some clothes on.

My clothes!

'Introducing the official Butterfield-branded

'luxury sportswear.'

My official line of quality sportswear is designed

to catch anybody's eye.

Or both eyes. Just look at this beautiful cloth.

Ow!

'4 Sports Sports Cap.' Tennis umpire. Baseball. Another basedball.

I don't know what this one is.

'Marathon jacket,

'complete with pins to fasten your marathon number plate.'

'These trainers will register every step you take.

'Just count the beeps on the pad provided,

'times table the result by 10 or 12,

'and easily work out your average running speed.'

650? No, 660? Ah, I've missed one, ah.

Oh, they're still beeping. They must be broken.

'The official Butterfield-branded luxury sportswear.'

Just look for the Butterfield label, your sign of quality.

Oh, it's dropped off. Call now.

As a busy working father, it's really important for me

to find time to play games with my kids,

but it's even more important that I still have time

to watch the football.

Well, now I can do both,

with the all-new Laz-E Dad's family board games.

Hey, kids, do you want to play a game?

-CHILDREN:

-Yay!

-Ready, steady, go.

-Snap!

Ha, ha, I lose.

I lose again! Brilliant!

I lose again! Come on.

And coming soon, for even more peace and quiet...

Go on, your turn. I'll time you.

One, two, three, four...

You see, a horse is a very demanding beast.

I really can't imagine you controlling one

at a high speed wearing those jeans and trainers.

There is a reason why professionals wear these clothes, you know.

You're not a professional.

No, but I think like one.

And that's the main difference between me and you, Simon.

Of course, I'm more used to riding thoroughbreds.

-Can I help you?

-Just one for the pool, please.

Swimming?

-Yeah.

-In this weather?

-What's that got to do with anything?

-It's raining.

-So?

Well, you get wet walking here,

then you shower after getting in your swimming costume,

so you get wet again. Then into the pool.

Then you get out, have a shower and get wet again.

Then you walk home in the rain and get wet again.

That's five times getting wet. Why don't you just stay at home,

have a bath and get wet once?

Well, maybe I just like getting wet.

That'll be £4.20 please.

DING! DING!

CHEERING

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, I'm up and down all day.

Batteries for the TV remote have run out.

Does chewing count? I do loads of that.

-Kelly, Kelly, Kelly!

-Kelly.

-Becky. Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura!

-Laura! Laura!

-Laura! Laura! Laura!

-Beth! Beth!

Beth! Beth! Beth! Beth!

-Beth! Beth! Beth! Beth! Beth!

-WHISTLE BLOWS

OK, girls, half time.

-Becky! Becky!

-Tash! Tash! Tash!

-Becky!

-Tilly, Tilly, Tilly, Tilly, Tilly!

OK, girls, get some water down you.

-Kelly, dish them out, please. TOGETHER:

-Kelly, Kelly, Kelly!

Becky! Becky!

-Beth! Beth!

-Kelly!

-Beth!

-Beth! Beth! Beth!

Oranges, anyone?

Coach! Coach! Coach! Coach! Coach! Coach!

-Tash!

-Coach!

-Tash!

-Coach!

-Tash!

-Coach!

-Kelly!

-Tash!

-Kelly!

-Tash!

-Coach!

-Tash!

-Kelly!

-Girls! Girls!

-Coach!

-Tash!

-Kelly!

-Girls!

-Girls!

-Coach!

-Tash!

-Kelly!

-Girls! Girls! Girls!

Girls! WHISTLE BLOWS

OK, half time is over.

Let's get back out on the court.

-Kelly!

-Kelly!

-Kelly! Kelly!

-Kelly!

-Laura! Laura! Laura!

BUZZER SOUNDS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Here we go, children, the picnic's ready. Here we are.

Now, let's start with our sandwiches.

Thank you very much.

Ham for Daddy, ham for you. I've got your favourite...

Are we in the way?

Sorry, Miss, I can't do five-a-side, I've got a note.

I have an abscess on my tooth

and I've got to go to the dentist to get it lanced.

Yeah, Miss, I can't do it either,

because the House of Commons, it's a joke, isn't it?

I need to get that sorted out.

It's super-important to make sure your stuff is super clean,

but it can take ages.

And who's got the time for that, girlfriend?

Save time, by washing your dishes and clothes together.

Now, you save even more time by never having to wash this again.

It was given to us on our wedding day.

Nice one, Mom. You rock.

Raah!

Do you think you can do any better?

Two of us can play at that game.

Oh, look, it's so light.

I managed about three-quarters of the London Marathon.

But then I just switched the TV off.

Well, I, uh, exercise my right not to have to answer that question.

Uh, I've got no friends.

CLOCKS TICK

-Sorry, what does the horsey do again?

-Dunno.

Sorry!

Mmm, mine's delicious.

Mm, mine too.

Oh, well, the food here is amazing.

-Mm, you've got to try some.

-Oh, no, I couldn't.

-Mm, go on.

Well, all right, maybe I'll just have a little...little taste.

Mm, oh, it's nice, isn't it? Yeah.

Actually, could I just have a little?

Yeah, sure. Oh, you'll love it.

I'll just try a little spoon of it.

Mm, do you know what?

That's nice, but actually that... There, get a stab.

Thinking about it, that one's much nicer cos it's kind of spicy.

So it's much nicer.

Mm, and actually, that's lovely,

but, just bring this over here, flavour's lovely.

Ah, ah.

-Can I get you anything else?

-Ooh, um...

How about we share a pudding?

Yeah, one pudding, three forks, please. Thank you.

You join us this afternoon at the Sid Waddell Aquadrome

for the final of the Men's 10,000 litres.

It's a nail-biting head-to-head

between Hawkshaw of the United Kingdom

and Lipowicz of Hungary.

BUZZER SOUNDS

And they're off, and it's a very good start from Lipowicz.

Four-times gold medal winner in the 200 litres,

but this is his first time at the endurance event.

As you'd expect, he's really hammering his way through

those opening litres, but has he got the stamina?

Hawkshaw not giving him a millilitre.

That boy really knows how to drink a swimming pool.

Any youngsters keen to get into the sport,

please don't drink the water at your local baths.

This is a tournament-standard pool filled with mineral water.

With just a dash of elderflower cordial.

Oh, there goes Lipowicz.

Very few men can run to the toilet with a bladder as full as that.

-What an athlete!

-Hawkshaw's not far behind him for the gents.

Sally Corfield, has this event changed much since your day?

Well, the form has improved

and these guys are using hydrodynamic straws,

but it's still basically a test of bladder strength.

And here's Lipowicz back from the little boys' room.

And there he goes, straight back in, what a magnificent sucker he is.

And Hawkshaw's back in action, what a thirst.

This one is going to be close.

For 30 years, top chef Jean-Paul Scoffier

has inspired the world with his cooking.

Now, at last, he shares some of his kitchen secrets.

This week, vegetarian cooking.

Sacre bleu, alors, how to do the cooking vegetarian.

This is a chaise longue parfait for lunch.

First you need to bureau de change avec le Toulouse-Lautrec.

Is this your minky?

And maintenant le bonbon et froufrou

until it is completement sur le Pont d'Avignon.

Herge's Adventures Of Tintin. Yes, I know he's Belgian.

Now, Napoleon Bonaparte le saucepan into the little grey cells.

Et voila, the cooking vegetarian.

How you say in English? Get your laughing gear around that.

AUDIENCE: Wow!

Let's have a little look at...

-Oh, no! Not again.

-I'm not going to be late for my wedding?

Well, we're not going anywhere in this, are we, love?

Right.

Wow, you're early. Wedding doesn't start for another hour.

You are aware the clocks went back this morning?

THEY SIGH I can't believe it,

how did Stevens miss that?

-You useless muppet!

-You're a disgrace, you're an utter disgrace!

They get paid millions of pounds a year

and this is the best they can do?!

-I bet his nan could do better than him.

-Ha, nice one.

-He's got two left feet.

-I mean, why did we buy him?

He's absolutely terrible.

-TV:

-'And there is the half-time whistle...'

Fancy a cuppa?

Yeah, anything to take my mind off this rubbish.

Oi!

You what?

I didn't say anything.

Oi, you two. Yeah, you two.

-Hello?

-I can hear you, you know.

-Oh.

-Do you know how difficult it is to play football

with you two making constant negative remarks?

Um...quite hard, I expect?

Quite hard?! It's very hard.

-Right. We didn't mean it.

-Didn't mean it.

Right, are you going to apologise then?

-Sorry.

-Yeah, sorry.

-Not just to me, to my nan.

She's getting very upset by all of this.

Sorry, Mrs Stevens.

And my nan, she couldn't have scored that.

-No, I couldn't have scored that.

-OK, sorry.

So in the second half, if you can't say anything nice,

don't say anything at all, all right? Understood?

-Yep.

-Sorry again.

Right, we'll leave it there then.

Good luck in the second half.

-He's a bit touchy, isn't he?

-Yeah.

-Oi, I heard that.

TOGETHER: Sorry.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd