Episode 3 Five Children and It

Oh... It's cold...

Whatever...? Oh, my sainted aunt! Wake up! Wake UP!!

-Our wings! Oh, no!

-Snivelling won't get us down!

Door.

It's stiff.

It's locked!

-It will only be for one night.

-What if it's haunted?

-Someone will let us out.

-And find this! They'll try us as thieves.

-You said it wasn't stealing.

-Um...

-Let's throw it down!

-And hit someone on the head?

-I want my tea!

-We just ate!

-I want to go home...!

-Don't cry, Pusscat.

-If she howls loud enough somebody will hear us and let us out.

-Ah.

We must risk the siphon. I'll button it up inside my jacket.

The vicarage lights are still on. We must yell.

-One, two, three-ee!

-HE-ELP!

-Again! One, two, three!

-HELP!!

DOG BARKS Heavens! A murder in MY church!

­ The lunatic that stole the ham!

Sir! Sir!

Andrew! The very man! We've a lunatic in the church.

Lunatic? You heard screams?

< ..Yes.

Go back inside, dear.

And bolt the door. HELP! >

HELP! >

More than one! Seem to be up in the air. Strange.

Tower! >

Come down, then! Can't. Door locked.

-Let us out!

-We're coming!

-I'll get a policeman and a gun.

-Oh.

Andrew, that's not the truth. Near enough. For them.

-Hello! You there!

-Hello.

-How many of you are there?

-Four.

-(Plenty...of lunatics!)

-Are you armed?

-What?

-I've a gun.

Don't shoot!

That sounded like a little...

I don't open this door till you move to the other side of the tower.

If one of you comes at me, I fire. (Now!)

If it ain't a pack of kiddies!

Very good, madam.

There you are. Put that round you.

What I don't understand is how you came to be locked in the tower.

We went up...and we went to sleep.

-When we awoke the door was locked. So we yelled.

-You frightened us.

- Yes. - You ought to be ashamed!

JANE: Truly, we are.

Please. They'll worry at home.

-Can you take us home?

-Well, I...

Ask what he has under his jacket.

-Well...there you are, then.

-But...

-We took it and some ham and bread.

We didn't take any cakes OR jams.

Only necessities. We left half-a-crown and a letter.

Oh, don't send us to prison! How did you reach the window?

I'm afraid I can't tell you that.

DO forgive us and take us home!

Thank you for bringing us back.

That's all right.

-You'll catch it NOW, I daresay.

-Mother's away. Martha WILL shout!

Is that her I see with a baby?

Maybe you've done me a good turn...

Who's there? Is that the police?

WHERE have you been?! Andrew Beale at your service.

You naughty things! Whatever have they been up to NOW?

Bit of a long story. If you was to offer me tea...

Up with the drawbridge.

It's always the same. Every time we have a wish we get in hot water.

-And are kept in.

-Andrew's sweet on Martha.

-Rubbish! Let's see if we can get Martha to let one of us out.

-Why?

To get a wish from the psammead!

SHE SINGS

GIGGLING

I declare, it's a shame!

Kept in on a lovely day like this.

-But if I don't put my foot down...

-Martha?

We deserve it but are awfully sorry.

-Truly.

-But would you let just me out?

Just to get things to keep us busy.

If I WAS to let anybody out it wouldn't be you, Master Robert.

The devil finds work for idle hands.

Ah!

Good morning!

I've been looking out for you.

-Where are the others? Not smashed themselves to bits?

-No.

As usual, the wish got us in a row.

-The others are kept in. Let me wish quickly.

-Wish.

You'd better hurry. Time flies.

But I can't think what to wish for.

-I wish you'd let the others wish.

-PSAMMEAD BREATHES IN

-PLEASE don't!

-< BLOWS HARD

It was very hard, but I did it.

Now, run along home quick or they'll wish for something silly.

PSAMMEAD CHUCKLES

Oh, no! They wished for a castle and it's being besieged!

I wish I'd never seen that beastly sand fairy!

SHOUTS AND BEATING OF DRUMS

TRUMPET SOUNDS

-AH-H! Let me go!

-A brave varlet, this!

His garb is strange. Some outlandish treachery belike.

-What brings thee hither?

-I'm going home.

-Where dwellest thou?

-Over there.

-Ha! Come hither.

This is a matter for our leader.

­ A spy, me thinkest. In our camp.

Sayest so... Unfold thy tale without alarm.

-What is thine intent?

-My what?

What's thine errand that thou goest alone amongst rough men-at-arms?

Thy mother's heart aches for thee, I'll wager.

..No. She doesn't know I'm out.

Fear not to speak the truth, child.

Thou hast nought to fear from Sir Wulfric de Talbot!

The fact is, it's like this.

Mother and Father are away.

-We found a psammead...

-I cry thee mercy! A "SAMMYAD"?

-Yes.

A sort of fairy. It said we could have a wish. Every day.

We wished first to be beautiful.

-THAT wish was scarce granted!

-He is an enchanter of might?

-Yes.

Sir Wulfric de Talbot needs no enchanter's aid to victory!

You're only here because of him.

How now, boy! Unravel this!

Well... You see... You don't know it, but...you're not real at all.

You're only here as the others were idiot enough to wish for a castle.

-When the sun sets you'll vanish, so it'll be all right.

-What?!

-He feigns madness.

-YOU'RE mad! Let me go!

-Whither?

-Home.

-To carry news and betray us?

-Well, I won't go home.

-By my halidom I won't.

-Go, then.

-Sir Wulfric fighteth not babes. Jakin will bear thee company.

-Yes.

Jakin'll enjoy it. I salute thee, Sir Wulfric.

Look, I'm sorry if I ever said unkind things about you.

-But please give me another wish.

-I've done two today!

-But...

-What is it?

-I wish I was with the others.

TAKES DEEP BREATHS

BLOWS HARD

CHUCKLING

-Oh! Oh!

-Cyril!

You've just come out of thin air!

-How sporting to grant us our wish! ..Well, mine.

-Why didn't you say?

-If we'd made a really silly wish...

-How much sillier can you get?

-You nearly did for me.

-We haven't done anything. We waited for you.

-We're going to shoot them!

-Ah...

You don't know what they're like. They have real bows and arrows.

-And swords and pikes...

-Crikey!

-Any soldiers here to defend this castle?

-We haven't explored yet.

Then we'd better look. Come on.

< Leave him alone, miss, do, when he's so good.

-What's he doing?

-What does it look like? He's in his high-chair.

Oh, my iron's gone cold again.

-You'll get no dinner unless you go.

-The Lamb's all right?

-Right as ninepence, but take him if you want him.

-No!

-He was just floating.

-It's creepy.

-I wish we'd wished for something plain.

-Too late!

-Dry up a sec.

We wished the servants shouldn't notice when we got wishes.

Nothing happens to the Lamb unless we wish it specially.

This castle must be where the house was...is.

-The servants are still in the house but...

-Stop!

-I just hope we can see our dinner.

-There must be something to eat.

CYRIL SIGHS

No soldiers...no food.

-If you'd wished for a provisioned castle...

-We all make mistakes.

DISTANT SINGING >

-It's Martha!

-Perhaps she's bringing dinner.

Here we are, then.

Leg of mutton and veg.

Mint sauce? >

There then.

I wanna see all them greens ate.

-This is the worst thing that's happened.

-See if we can feel it.

Can't even smell the mint sauce.

-..Biscuits! I got them from Cook this morning.

-Hooray!

-One for you, and one for you.

-You explained about invisibleness.

Why are the biscuits here and the dinner isn't?

I don't know. Unless it's because I had the biscuits in my pocket.

-TRUMPET SOUNDS

-Oh, look! It's a battering-ram!

Soldiers defend besieged castles. It's a bit much, us against them!

-JANE WHIMPERS

-Sh-h-h, it's all right.

The defenders may have been killed and provisions eaten.

-A few survivors remain. Us.

-We'll defend it to the death.

-Death?

I'm glad it's only a game.

It IS only a game, isn't it?

-Let's find some arms to fight with.

-And boiling lead.

Come on! No time to lose.

Oh, these swords ARE heavy!

ROBERT MAKES MENACING NOISES

I couldn't find any boiling lead.

-We'll have to make do with water.

-All right.

­ I can't see anything!

Can we just have biscuits for tea? We're playing besieged castles.

Oh, indeed? And that's why your dinner's all left. The waste!

Still, it'll save my time and legs.

I don't know where you get your ideas from.

My hands are dirty. Please put them in my pocket.

-Here's the last.

-Thank you.

-TRUMPET BLASTS

-They're attacking!

-It's no game!

MENACING SHOUTS

Is it nearly sunset?

There's that Jakin. You brute!

-We'll fight you. We're not afraid.

-I don't want to play.

-You do.

-Civilised armies spare women and children.

-But are they civilised?

-TRUMPET SOUNDS What's happening?

-I don't know.

-What ho, within there!

-What ho!

In the name of our Lord the King, we summon this castle to surrender!

Do you surrender?

-Of course we don't!

-No!

-Never!

Then your fate be on your own heads. Cha-a-arge!

#

You want your heart's desire

#

And there's nothing but the fire

#

Of a madly yearning wild imagination

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All you have to do is choose If you don't you'll lose

#

Something special in your life will pass you by

#

Castles in the air Or a chest of purest gold

#

Start a quest before you're old

#

Try wishing a little harder every day

#

Wishing to chase the clouds away

#

In the twinkling of an eye You'll grow tall or even fly

#

You don't know till you try So do-o

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And with the magic that you find Dream your dream awa-ay.

#

Subtitles by Valerie Maguire BBC Scotland, 1991

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