Dani Harmer Hacker Time
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Transcript
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|---|---|---|---|
# You gotta watch this | 0:00:03 | 0:00:04 | |
PRRT! | 0:00:04 | 0:00:05 | |
# You gotta watch this | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
# You gotta watch this | 0:00:09 | 0:00:12 | |
# My, my, my, my... | 0:00:12 | 0:00:15 | |
# Programme hits you so hard Makes me say, "Oh, my word" | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
# Thank you for watching me It's TV but not what you normally see | 0:00:18 | 0:00:22 | |
# It feels good There's comedy, guests and clips, too | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
# So sit back, don't eat too much | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
# This is the show you can't touch | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
# Stop! Hacker Time! # | 0:00:29 | 0:00:31 | |
Thank you. | 0:00:31 | 0:00:32 | |
Hello? Hello? | 0:00:32 | 0:00:36 | |
Somebody open this door right now! | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
You're making me look like a moo standing here. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
I'm livid with you, Derek! | 0:00:41 | 0:00:43 | |
Hello. You all right? | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
Welcome to my telly show. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:49 | |
Coming up - we've got this... | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
Plenty of this. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Oh, and a bit of that. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
We're going to have a right old LOL today. | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
-Ah! Me tail! -Oooh! | 0:00:59 | 0:01:01 | |
Open the doors! | 0:01:01 | 0:01:03 | |
Ah! Oooh! | 0:01:03 | 0:01:04 | |
What are you trying to do me? | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
These doors cost me 20 quid. Ahh! | 0:01:06 | 0:01:09 | |
Ah! Me tail again! Stop it! Why do these things always go wrong on...? | 0:01:09 | 0:01:13 | |
Ah! Get off me! | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
Here's some howlers. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
Oh, me tail! | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
FOLK MUSIC PLAYS | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
Oh, no! | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
Oh! | 0:01:31 | 0:01:32 | |
Oh! | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:01:34 | 0:01:35 | |
Oh, look at that! | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
Oh! | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
Oh, yes! | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
Oh, no! | 0:01:53 | 0:01:54 | |
Oh, no! | 0:01:57 | 0:01:58 | |
Oooh! | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:02:05 | 0:02:06 | |
What are they like? | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
I'll play you some more hilarious howlers later. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
ALARM WAILS, HORN HONKS | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
I've got a positive sighting, Hacker. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
Ah, good. That will be today's guest, Dani Harmer arriving. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:20 | |
Not that she knows she's on here! | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
DRAMATIC MUSIC | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
A massive Hollywood audition? I could be in a film! | 0:02:27 | 0:02:31 | |
RIP, CRASH! | 0:02:31 | 0:02:32 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome today's special guest - Dani Harmer! | 0:02:32 | 0:02:39 | |
You what?! | 0:02:39 | 0:02:40 | |
You all right, Dani? | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
Hacker. What are you doing at a Hollywood audition? | 0:02:43 | 0:02:47 | |
Oh, some filthy prankster | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
must have put up a sign on my studio wall again. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
It definitely wasn't me and Derek tricking you | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
into being on my show. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
-What?! -Nothing! | 0:02:56 | 0:02:58 | |
Anyway, while you're here, we might as well make the best of it | 0:02:58 | 0:03:02 | |
because I happen to have my own TV show that I'm presenting. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:07 | |
So you could be a guest on that. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:08 | |
-You've got your own show? -I know! | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
Ridiculous, isn't it? Ha-ha! | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
-It will be a right old LOL, though. Come on. Come on! -OK. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:15 | |
You didn't con me into coming here? | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
This wasn't just some big elaborate plan to get me on your TV show? | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
What?! | 0:03:22 | 0:03:24 | |
NO! | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
Um... | 0:03:27 | 0:03:28 | |
Oh, them? They were here when I moved in. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:33 | |
Welcome to Hacker Time, Dani Harmer. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
-Watch this fact file. Pull the red lever. -OK. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
Dani Harmer is a human woman. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
She is most famous for playing Tracy Beaker who | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
she has portrayed for over 100 years, or is that over 100 episodes? | 0:03:45 | 0:03:50 | |
Can't remember. Tracy is a really good character | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
who has a lot of fashion sense. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
She wears stripes. She even wears stripes, | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
and she can even wear...stripes. More stripes. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:02 | |
What are you doing? Get yourself a nice bit of check or some spots. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:06 | |
Anyway, here she is wearing stripes - it's Dani Harmer! | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
Oh, very interesting. I feel I know you a lot better now. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:14 | |
That is all total rubbish. | 0:04:14 | 0:04:15 | |
Dani! That took me ages to make. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:19 | |
And just when I thought you were behaving yourself for once. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
I always behave myself. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:24 | |
Pah! Hardly. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:25 | |
You're normally a bit more, well, you know. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
-No, I don't know. -Well, a bit more like this... | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
I can't believe they put a mean old trout like you | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
in charge of a children's home! | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
Hacker, that's just my character. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
Tracy's always shouting. Dani's always happy. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
Well, Dani, you clearly are a very good actress. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:47 | |
But between you and me, I think I can do acting betterer. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:50 | |
Look! | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
Welcome to the Betterer Arena! | 0:04:52 | 0:04:56 | |
Today I am bettererising acting in a few simple steps. | 0:04:56 | 0:05:01 | |
An actor has to adapt, like a chameleon. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:07 | |
One second a dog, the next... | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
All right, come on. Dress me. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
Ta-da! | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
Now I look like an actor. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
I can portray any role. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
Why, hello, lovey! | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
I am a top theatre producer. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
Can you do Hamlet? | 0:05:27 | 0:05:28 | |
No! | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
-I'm shy. -Oh! | 0:05:30 | 0:05:34 | |
And now it's time to do away with all of this nonsense. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
No-one wants to learn lines or get amongst a script. Boring! | 0:05:42 | 0:05:46 | |
Instead, I talk from the heart and make it up. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
And action! | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
Dearest, Guinevere, | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
wouldst thou recount upon me news of your adventures in the Africas? | 0:05:54 | 0:05:58 | |
Em, I think that, um... | 0:05:58 | 0:06:03 | |
I've lost me train of thought now. Don't you shake your head at me! | 0:06:03 | 0:06:08 | |
If you want to be an actor, you've got to portray all emotions. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:15 | |
You have to do happy. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:16 | |
Oh, hello, little cutie-wutie little baby. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:21 | |
Are you well? | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
Also, you have to be able to do angry. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
Would you like my very last sweetie? | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
I beg your pardon! | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
How dare you come in here in your filthy, stinky nappy! | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
I don't want that muck. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
I don't know where you've been! HE CRIES | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
Yeah, go on, cry! | 0:06:39 | 0:06:40 | |
Cry all you want! | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
See if I care! | 0:06:41 | 0:06:42 | |
Hmm! | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
Don't cry, baby. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:47 | |
I'm only acting. Baby! | 0:06:47 | 0:06:48 | |
Baby! | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
Ah...! | 0:06:50 | 0:06:51 | |
What did you think of that, Dani? | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
Interesting tips you're giving there. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:55 | |
Yes, I am. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
So, are you enjoying yourself on my tiny little TV show so far? | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
I am, indeed. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
We always have a LOL together, don't we? Yeah. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
It's like that time I appeared in Tracy Beaker Returns, remember? | 0:07:04 | 0:07:09 | |
-No. -Dani! How could you forget? | 0:07:09 | 0:07:13 | |
I'm offended! Good job I've got the clip to hand. Pull that blue lever. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
-You seem to have had a time of it. -I'm going to get fired! | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
BIRD CAWS | 0:07:36 | 0:07:37 | |
You all right, Tracy? Careful or you'll...fall. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:44 | |
CRASH! | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
Hey, that's more time for me. I've got myself a lovely parachute. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:50 | |
Oh, budgies! I've packed my knick-knacks again | 0:07:50 | 0:07:54 | |
and not my parachute! | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
THEY LAUGH Good, wasn't I? | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
You were brilliant. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
-I can't believe you'd forgotten that. -I know. -Anyway, I'm going to ask you | 0:08:01 | 0:08:05 | |
-some questions now, like proper interviewers do. -Exciting. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:08 | |
I am making a big new movie and I need a young, talented, | 0:08:08 | 0:08:12 | |
good-looking, clever actress with long black hair. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
Do you know anyone? | 0:08:15 | 0:08:16 | |
HACKER LAUGHS | 0:08:16 | 0:08:20 | |
If you could act with anyone in the whole wide world, would it be me? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:26 | |
Of course it would be you. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
Or Johnny Depp. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:30 | |
Oh, right. What is your favourite episode of... Excuse me. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:35 | |
What is your favourite ever... What is your... What is... | 0:08:35 | 0:08:38 | |
Will you stop it?! Ah! | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
Hacker, stop being so rubbish. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
Ask her about acting. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:45 | |
I am a great actor. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
-OK. Show me terror. -OK. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
Ah, we're going to get crushed! | 0:08:50 | 0:08:54 | |
Wow, that's some good acting. Ah! | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
Ah! | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
Oh, that's got it. | 0:08:58 | 0:08:59 | |
Right, what's your favourite, er...thingy? | 0:08:59 | 0:09:03 | |
-Hacker, what are you trying to say? -I have no idea. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:07 | |
Right, let's watch some more stuff, Dani. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:10 | |
Let's watch what happens when some acting people mess up. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
Press that button. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:15 | |
You there! | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:21 | 0:09:22 | |
As much as I've decided anything... I looked at the camera! | 0:09:22 | 0:09:26 | |
-A few jokes, a bit of banter breaks the ice. -And... | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
HE SINGS | 0:09:31 | 0:09:33 | |
It's genius! | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:09:39 | 0:09:40 | |
We've heard enough bright ideas. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
PRRT! Oh! | 0:09:42 | 0:09:45 | |
-Windy Wallace again! -It was my foot! | 0:09:45 | 0:09:49 | |
Actually, the swimming trip was to get everyone out of the flat. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:53 | |
What's wrong? | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
Actually, the swimming trip was to get everyone out of the flat... | 0:09:55 | 0:09:59 | |
Actually, the swimming trip was to get everyone out of the flat | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
for an hour while I set up a surprise... | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
Actually, the swimming trip... | 0:10:04 | 0:10:06 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:09 | 0:10:10 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:10:12 | 0:10:13 | |
-We have a transplant this afternoon. -Fantastic. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:17 | |
So if you're considering a career in... | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
I'm sorry I... | 0:10:23 | 0:10:24 | |
I've forgotten my lines. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:10:31 | 0:10:32 | |
Hey, there were multiple LOLs there, weren't there? | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
There were. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
-Now, Dani, we're going to do some acting later on. -OK. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
Cos I am a very good actor, | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
but I need to check that you're good enough. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
So I'm going to get you to show off some of your skills. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:47 | |
-Do you understand that? -Yes, I did. -Good. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
Spotlight please, Herman! | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
Go! | 0:10:53 | 0:10:54 | |
Be a robot malfunctioning. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
Very good. | 0:10:58 | 0:10:59 | |
Be a Frenchman buying a loaf of bread. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:02 | |
Oh, could I have a loaf of bread? | 0:11:02 | 0:11:03 | |
Yes, you can. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
Be a spoon! | 0:11:05 | 0:11:06 | |
Perfect! Stop! | 0:11:08 | 0:11:09 | |
Interesting attempt, Dani, that. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
The other day I went to hang out with some of my real friends | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
and we talked about drama. Have a look. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:19 | |
-Will you flick that switch, please? -Yes. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
-Hello! ALL: -Hello! | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
I'm here today with these lovely people to teach them | 0:11:24 | 0:11:28 | |
about acting and I'm going to find out | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
if any of these guys have got any acting powers. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
Could you act like a robot that is about to break down? | 0:11:34 | 0:11:39 | |
HE MAKES WHIRRING SOUND | 0:11:39 | 0:11:42 | |
Pfff-pfff-pfff... | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
Very good. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:45 | |
Zzzrrr-zzzrrr-zzzrrr. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
Izzz-izzz-izzz. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
Zzzzzzzzz! | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
-Whoaaarrr. -That was good, that. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:56 | |
-How about you? -Ppppr-ppppr-ppppr... | 0:11:56 | 0:11:59 | |
I do it like this... | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
Urrrr-zzzrrr-wwwrrr. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:06 | |
I want you to act as if you are a Frenchman | 0:12:06 | 0:12:10 | |
buying a loaf of bread from me. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:12 | |
-FRENCH ACCENT: -Can I have a loaf of bread, please? | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
Ah, yes you can 'ave zome bread. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:18 | |
-There it is. -Merci. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
-Bonjour. -Hello. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
-Can I have a baguette? -LAUGHTER | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
Right, you want to buy some bread from me in 'Acker's Bread Shop. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:32 | |
Please, mademoiselle, can I have a baguette, please? | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
Mademoiselle?! | 0:12:35 | 0:12:36 | |
-That means a woman, don't it? -Yeah. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
In order to be a professional actor, you've got to be able to | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
portray the role of anything, including inanimate objects. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:47 | |
For example, a spoon! | 0:12:47 | 0:12:49 | |
Adopt the shape of a spoon! | 0:12:49 | 0:12:53 | |
A spoon! | 0:12:53 | 0:12:56 | |
And act as if you are a spoon! | 0:12:56 | 0:13:00 | |
Excuse me. Stop a second. Where's my close-up for that? | 0:13:02 | 0:13:05 | |
Spoon! Spoon! | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
Spoon. Thank you. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
-What sort of spoon are you? -A tablespoon. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
Them are the spoons you eat tables with, aren't they? | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
Omelette spoon! | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
The name's Spoon, Wooden Spoon! | 0:13:19 | 0:13:22 | |
You are funny. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:24 | |
So, there we have it, | 0:13:24 | 0:13:25 | |
we've learned that these guys can act like a robot, like a Frenchman | 0:13:25 | 0:13:29 | |
buying a loaf of bread and they can all act like spoons. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:33 | |
Give yourselves a big clap! You've been fantastic! | 0:13:33 | 0:13:36 | |
Thank you very much. Goodbye! THEY CLAP | 0:13:36 | 0:13:39 | |
Thank you. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
Children are like adults, only smaller. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
So, Dani, you're a famous and successful acting person. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:52 | |
Can you give everyone at home some tips about acting and that? | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
Of course! Finally, a proper question. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
For the first time, exclusively to Hacker Time, | 0:13:58 | 0:14:01 | |
I'm going to reveal my secrets into why my career's been so successful. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:05 | |
If you follow these tips, you'll have a successful career. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
Ready? Tip One. Auditions. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
All you have to do, really, is just be yourself, | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
but make sure you learn your lines first... | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
Look... | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
Oh, look at that button! | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
I... | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
Oh, "Do not push", it says, that. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:22 | |
Oh, but I want to push it. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
Tell you what - I'll not really push it, | 0:14:24 | 0:14:27 | |
I'll act as if I'm pushing it. Ha-ha-ha! | 0:14:27 | 0:14:31 | |
EXPLOSION AND ALARM | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
Oh...budgerigars. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:42 | |
..And if you definitely do all that, then you're certain | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
-to have a long and successful acting career. -Oh! -Hacker? -What? | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
-Hacker, have you been listening to me? -Oh, yeah, yeah, | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
I listened to that. Good advice. Bob on. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
You've not listened to a word I've said! Don't push it! | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
I didn't push it! It wasn't me! | 0:14:58 | 0:14:59 | |
I've got a tangible alibi! | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
Don't take me away, officers, please! | 0:15:01 | 0:15:05 | |
Take you away? What are you talking about, Hacker? | 0:15:05 | 0:15:08 | |
The button! The... Um... | 0:15:08 | 0:15:09 | |
Oh, nothing! | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
I've been sitting here | 0:15:11 | 0:15:12 | |
-quietly minding my own business all along, yeah. -Right, OK. | 0:15:12 | 0:15:16 | |
Can we do the next bit now and forget this ever happened? | 0:15:16 | 0:15:20 | |
-Yeah, I think that's probably for the best. -OK. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
Do that thing with the buttons, Derek! | 0:15:23 | 0:15:25 | |
Oh, yeah. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
Still to come today, this... | 0:15:27 | 0:15:30 | |
Bacawk! I am a chicken! | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
..that and this. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
Who are they? | 0:15:34 | 0:15:35 | |
What's that doing in there? | 0:15:35 | 0:15:36 | |
They're not on. Play some Howlers, Derek! Oh, I'm livid, I am. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:40 | |
All right, Si? | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
Ooh-er... Oh! | 0:15:45 | 0:15:47 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
Beware of my head! | 0:15:52 | 0:15:53 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:15:54 | 0:15:57 | |
Action! | 0:15:57 | 0:15:58 | |
Action! | 0:15:59 | 0:16:00 | |
Oh, I'm very sorry. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
That means go, does it? | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
Yes, of course. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:05 | |
Don't tell me you're defrosting the cat. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
What are you up to? | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
Ectoplasm - yes, proof of life from another world. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:17 | |
HE BREAKS WIND | 0:16:17 | 0:16:20 | |
Sorry, I just farted! | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:16:23 | 0:16:24 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
-Ha! Hey, Dani, did you like that? -I loved it. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:38 | |
-I'll tell you what else you'll love. -What? | 0:16:38 | 0:16:40 | |
-Tracy Barker. -Oh, Tracy Beaker? I love Tracy Beaker. Put it on. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:44 | |
It's not on telly enough. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:45 | |
No, no, Dani, not Tracy Beaker, Tracy Barker. | 0:16:45 | 0:16:50 | |
Run it, Derek. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
Beep. | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
Beep. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
Yeah? | 0:17:02 | 0:17:03 | |
Oh, sorry, it's just, uh, these fruits... | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
Yeah. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:07 | |
I was going to buy them, but they're slightly damaged. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:10 | |
-Mmmm. -Can I get a discount? | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
Oh, I'll just check for you. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:14 | |
Hello? | 0:17:14 | 0:17:15 | |
Hello?! | 0:17:15 | 0:17:16 | |
Can I have some assistance, please? | 0:17:16 | 0:17:19 | |
Can a man... | 0:17:19 | 0:17:20 | |
Yeah. ..a man have a discount because his fr-uit is bruis-ed? | 0:17:21 | 0:17:28 | |
No, he can't. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
Thanks! | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
No, you can't. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:34 | |
HE LAUGHS WILDLY | 0:17:40 | 0:17:44 | |
It's so...! Argh, it's funny! | 0:17:44 | 0:17:47 | |
Tracy Barker! She...cracks...me...right...up! | 0:17:47 | 0:17:51 | |
-Ha-ha! It's hilarious, in't it, Dani? -Not exactly... | 0:17:51 | 0:17:56 | |
Can we do something else now? | 0:17:56 | 0:17:58 | |
I've got more episodes of Tracy Barker if you want? | 0:17:58 | 0:18:01 | |
No, no! I've got an idea - why don't we do a bit of acting? | 0:18:01 | 0:18:04 | |
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! | 0:18:04 | 0:18:05 | |
We could play my acting game thing. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
This is what happens, right? | 0:18:07 | 0:18:09 | |
-Herman reads out different types of films... -Genres. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:13 | |
Bless you. And we have to act out in that style. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:15 | |
-OK, cool. -Right, there's hats and stuff, too. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
-The scene we have to do is two people fighting over the remote control. -OK. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:22 | |
Romance. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:24 | |
Go! | 0:18:24 | 0:18:25 | |
I am romantic and I think, Mrs Harmer, | 0:18:26 | 0:18:30 | |
will you please put Tracy Barker on? | 0:18:30 | 0:18:34 | |
I cannot, my love. It is a terrible programme. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
-You could have flowers instead. -That offer makes me physically ill. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:41 | |
Western. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:42 | |
WESTERN MUSIC | 0:18:42 | 0:18:44 | |
I rode into this here town to watch myself me some Tracy Barker. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:50 | |
I think you should put it on and that. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
No, I'm not gonna put it on. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:55 | |
THEY SPIT AND LAUGH | 0:18:55 | 0:18:57 | |
Sci-fi. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
I think you should put the Tracy Barker thing on or I will | 0:18:59 | 0:19:05 | |
get my robot to, um, commit a minor crime in your direction. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:09 | |
SHE SPEAKS IN AN ALIEN LANGUAGE | 0:19:09 | 0:19:12 | |
Easy for you to say, love. | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
Silent movie. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
INAUDIBLE | 0:19:18 | 0:19:22 | |
Musical. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
# Please put Tracy Barker on... | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
# No | 0:19:34 | 0:19:36 | |
# ..you white-faced freak | 0:19:36 | 0:19:38 | |
# No, I couldn't possibly, cos it is rubbish | 0:19:38 | 0:19:42 | |
# Rubbish or not | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
# It deserves our time I get repeat fees for every showing | 0:19:44 | 0:19:49 | |
# I don't care, it's really that bad | 0:19:49 | 0:19:51 | |
# I'm not putting it on | 0:19:51 | 0:19:53 | |
# All right, then, let's do a little musical interlude instead | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
# OK. # | 0:19:56 | 0:19:57 | |
JAZZ MUSIC | 0:19:57 | 0:20:00 | |
Horror! | 0:20:00 | 0:20:01 | |
Put Tracy Barker on, or I will creep up on you! | 0:20:03 | 0:20:10 | |
You will rue the day, Dani Harmer, you crossed me with your pointy head! | 0:20:11 | 0:20:17 | |
KLAXON BLARES That's the end of the game! | 0:20:17 | 0:20:20 | |
I was good in that, though, weren't I? | 0:20:20 | 0:20:22 | |
-You were very good, Hacker. -Anyway, enough of this nonsense, | 0:20:22 | 0:20:25 | |
cos I'm already an experienced actor. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:27 | |
-Really? -Look at what me and Dodge got up to at the weekend. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
We made one of them fancy costume-drama things | 0:20:30 | 0:20:33 | |
that our mum likes. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:34 | |
Play it, Derek! | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
'I, Hackerella, a humble maid, am in love with my master, Lord Percy.' | 0:20:44 | 0:20:52 | |
# Oh, Lord Percy | 0:20:52 | 0:20:56 | |
# Lord Percy | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
# I love you and that | 0:20:58 | 0:21:02 | |
# And I love you too! # | 0:21:02 | 0:21:07 | |
Eh, I've told you already, you can't be in love with Lord Percy - I am! | 0:21:08 | 0:21:12 | |
-BELL RINGS -Oh, Lord Percy, Lord Percy! | 0:21:12 | 0:21:15 | |
-I'll go! -No, I'll go! | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
Ah, there you are, girls. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:24 | |
I've got some exciting news. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:25 | |
We're going to have a very important visitor. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
The father of my one true love. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:30 | |
What, my daddy's coming over? | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
Ha-ha! Oh, yes, good joke, Hackerella. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:36 | |
-Me in love with you, how ridiculous! -Yeah, how ridiculous... | 0:21:36 | 0:21:39 | |
No, my one true love is, of course, Lady Sarah. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:44 | |
And the reason her father is coming to stay is that | 0:21:44 | 0:21:47 | |
I'm going to ask his permission to marry her. | 0:21:47 | 0:21:49 | |
So you'd better make sure this house is spotless. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
Go on, then! | 0:21:52 | 0:21:54 | |
Hacks, if the Duke says yes, | 0:21:56 | 0:21:57 | |
then Lord Percy's going to marry Lady Sarah! | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
But the Duke is going to say no, for I have a plan! | 0:22:00 | 0:22:06 | |
Lord Percy, may I present the Duke? | 0:22:09 | 0:22:13 | |
Thank you, Dodgina. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:14 | |
Your Excellency. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:17 | |
Ugh! | 0:22:18 | 0:22:20 | |
I am a Duke! | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
Right. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:23 | |
Your Excellency, I have invited you here today | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
to ask for your consent for your daughter's hand in marriage. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:30 | |
What say you? | 0:22:30 | 0:22:31 | |
Let me think - erm, noo! | 0:22:31 | 0:22:35 | |
But, my Lord, surely... | 0:22:35 | 0:22:37 | |
No, I won't have it. | 0:22:37 | 0:22:38 | |
I won't have you in my family! | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
-Is there anything I can do to change your mind? -Yes. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:43 | |
You could dance like a chicken. | 0:22:43 | 0:22:46 | |
As you...wish. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
Bockaw! Bockaw! | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
I am a chicken! | 0:22:52 | 0:22:54 | |
Bockaw! | 0:22:54 | 0:22:55 | |
Bockaw! | 0:22:55 | 0:22:56 | |
-Bockaw! -What are you doing?! | 0:22:56 | 0:22:59 | |
Lady Sarah, I was just talking to your father. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:02 | |
What are you talking about?! | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
This isn't my father. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
Agh! | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
What the...?! | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
And you thought these two vagabonds were Pater! | 0:23:10 | 0:23:14 | |
How dare you?! | 0:23:15 | 0:23:17 | |
Never speak to me again! | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
Lady Sarah! | 0:23:19 | 0:23:21 | |
You, come here! | 0:23:22 | 0:23:24 | |
Ain't I good at acting, eh? | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
You're better at acting than you are at presenting, I guess. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:32 | |
Cheeky! | 0:23:32 | 0:23:33 | |
Eh, Dani, thanks for coming on to my show today. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
-It's kind of you to accept my invite. -I didn't exactly accept, but... | 0:23:36 | 0:23:40 | |
Whatever. I've got you a nice little present | 0:23:40 | 0:23:44 | |
-to remember how much you've loved being here. -Really? | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
It's a very special Hacker Time tea towel! | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
-Ugh. -Yeah, don't worry about the stains, | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
stick it in on a 40 degree wash, it'll be as good as new. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:55 | |
It's a used tea towel. | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
Yeah, and that's not all. | 0:23:57 | 0:23:58 | |
Because you've been such a good guest, | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
you can have a limited-edition Hacker Time dog bowl! | 0:24:01 | 0:24:06 | |
The latest in doggy chic. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:09 | |
It can store food, store water, store... | 0:24:09 | 0:24:13 | |
Well, mainly just food and water, really. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:17 | |
Just give it a rinse out when you get home. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:20 | |
-I had last night's biryani in it. -Thank you so much(!) -All right. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:23 | |
The door's over there, goodbye! | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
-Oh, OK, bye. -Bye. | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
-Eh, don't be a stranger. -I won't. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:29 | |
That's not a free invite to pop in whenever you want, though. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:33 | |
-Cheers, Hacker. -It's all right. See you. -Bye. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:37 | |
Right, now she's gone, | 0:24:37 | 0:24:38 | |
I'm going to show you some of my favourite LOLs from around the world. | 0:24:38 | 0:24:42 | |
It's time for Hacker's Top Five Acting Howlers. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:47 | |
There's a right nonsense going on at number five. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:52 | |
You'll be fine, you're both grown up. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:55 | |
-BOTH: -Agh! -Sorry! | 0:24:55 | 0:24:56 | |
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER | 0:24:56 | 0:25:00 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
We should all... | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
Sorry, do it again! | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
What a palaver! | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
Acting is easy, right? | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
You'd think so, wouldn't you? | 0:25:15 | 0:25:16 | |
But this mooey wouldn't agree. | 0:25:16 | 0:25:19 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:25:19 | 0:25:21 | |
You OK? | 0:25:26 | 0:25:27 | |
-Shall we cut? -Try again. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
I can't believe he dumped me... | 0:25:29 | 0:25:31 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:25:31 | 0:25:32 | |
-I'm so sorry. -Action. | 0:25:32 | 0:25:34 | |
I can't believe he dumped me. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:37 | |
THEY LAUGH Ha-ha-ha! | 0:25:39 | 0:25:40 | |
Stuff went wrong, didn't it?! | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
It went all wrong. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:45 | |
In at three, this cha-os. | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
Wrong way, wrong way! | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
Silly! Ooh! | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
What's at number two, you say? | 0:26:01 | 0:26:04 | |
This LOL, that's what. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:06 | |
Ha! | 0:26:08 | 0:26:10 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:26:12 | 0:26:13 | |
-Ha-ha-ha! -Cut there. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
And my number one favourite acting howler is this. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:25 | |
-Duke, he won't give me the milk. -Give Tracy the milk. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:30 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:26:33 | 0:26:35 | |
Milk-face chaos! | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
Ha-ha-ha! I'll be LOL-ing all night after that. | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
I'm not going to top that bit, so I might as well just go away. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
Thanks to my guest, Dani Harmer. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
I've had a lovely time learning about that acting nonsense. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
I'll leave you today with my big musical end bit. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
What a show we've had, eh? | 0:26:52 | 0:26:55 | |
# That is it for now, the end of the show | 0:27:00 | 0:27:01 | |
# I need the lav-lav, so I'm going to go | 0:27:01 | 0:27:04 | |
# I'll see you next time on this show of mine | 0:27:04 | 0:27:07 | |
# Put it in your diary, it's called Hacker Time | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
# We've had a LOL or two, watching some clips | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
# I laughed so hard that I nearly was sick | 0:27:12 | 0:27:14 | |
# I'll show you more funny stuff when I'm next on | 0:27:14 | 0:27:16 | |
# Who needs other telly shows? | 0:27:16 | 0:27:17 | |
# Mine's the best one | 0:27:17 | 0:27:19 | |
# Dani Harmer was on the show | 0:27:19 | 0:27:21 | |
# It's always nice to see her | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 | |
# She is funny, we had a LOL | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
# But at least she's not as loud as Tracy Beaker | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
# That is it for now, the end of the show | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
# I need the lav-lav, so I'm going to go | 0:27:31 | 0:27:33 | |
# I'll see you next time on this show of mine | 0:27:33 | 0:27:36 | |
# Put it your diary, it's called Hacker Time | 0:27:36 | 0:27:38 | |
# Put it in your diary, it's called Hacker Time | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
# That is the end of today's Hacker Time! # | 0:27:40 | 0:27:44 | |
Thank you, thank you! | 0:27:44 | 0:27:45 | |
E-mail [email protected] | 0:27:45 | 0:27:48 |