Episode 5 Hacker's Winter Olympic Rundown

Welcome to Friday's

Winter Olympic Rundown.

Today's top stories.

Robin Cousins unable to count

to four without feeling sick.

One, two, three, four...

Christopher Dean regrets asking

Chemmy Alcott how to use

the toilet.

Jump, back in, my pack's fallen off,

we're getting dynamic.

And giant banana skin

dropped on skeleton track.

Yes, the question on

everyone's lips has been.

Can Dawn Parsons pass the skeleton

speed test?

You'll have to be quick to catch me!

Well he did!

Because he's won Team GB's

first medal of the Games.

Dom Parsons did take bronze.

Huzzah!

But the pundits seemed more bothered

about his motoring skills.

Is he driving well?

I think he's

driving her phenomenally well.

Alex Coomber gave Dom

some good advice.

I think with the track that is this

technical the worst thing you could

do is try and fight it.

Unfortunately, someone did

try to fight the track.

Put them up, you, outside now, the

track, I'll have you.

Now has anybody seen my collection

of country-specific tea towels.

I hung them out to dry

somewhere, but can't

remember where?

As it stands at the top of the

tree...

Does anyone know what

adrenaline sounds like?

At this point of the race your

adrenaline is speaking, you're on

the limiter and it's going...

Tim Warwood there,

who was commentating on the Men's

Snowboard Cross.

Trouble is, he got

a bit distracted and

started playing party

games in the booth.

But what was he playing?

I'm pinning my tail on him, that's

what I'm doing. That doesn't even

make sense.

Welcome to my world!

Hello again, Hacker!

Hi.

I did enjoy watching

the Snowboard Cross though.

But the action of it really

reminded me of something.

This will have plenty of action,

like a half-price clothing sale.

That's it!

And it turns out everyone

at the Olympics was

looking for bargains

at that clothing sale.

One of the snowboarders bought some

lovely baby clothes.

Keep your eye on the white bib, look

at the rider in the white bib.

This German duo were

buying some footwear.

Looking for the skate of their

lives.

Sorry cockers, I got the last

pair of life skates.

And Dom Parsons bought some

delightful orange trousers.

But sadly the stitching

wasn't up to scratch.

I hope you've kept the receipt!

But it was this outfit that

flew off the shelves.

The red onesie, white beanie

and country-specific hankie.

Talking of which, I've heard

there's a nasty cold going

round the Games.

The commentator's

inspected the contents

of this skier's hankie.

Smooth, aggressive, green all the

way.

Even the German figure

skater caught it.

I've got a right crow up here.

And America's Mikaela Shiffrin

was so snotty she got her

nose stuck to her knees.

I can't remove my nose from my knees

here. The liquid has caused some

sort of

sort of grippage.

At least I've not come down with...

48's down as well! Oh, no!

Sorry, everyone.

I'll just blow my nose on this

country-specific hankie.

Now it's time for my favourite

condiment-based compliment

of the day.

Usually he's absolutely mastered. --

mustard.

Now, I do like watching

Chemmy Alcott in the studio.

She can always be relied upon to sum

something up in one word.

Just one word on Alex Tilley of

Great Britain?

I wonder what that one word will be.

Just one word on Alex Tilley of

Great Britain?

In her words she made a rookie

mistake but she's got the slalom.

She has.

Let me sum that up in one word.

Chemmy you're a disgrace.

That was loads of words!

That was loads of words, more than

one, you did loads, loads, loads.

Let's see if Tim Warwood

can do any better.

Oh, I couldn't have

put it better myself.