Episode 7 Hacker's Winter Olympic Rundown


Episode 7

Hacker is back to tell you all you need to know - and plenty that you don't - about yesterday at the Winter Olympics.


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Transcript


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Cold sports!

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Y'alright, everyone!

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This is Tuesday's

Winter Olympic Rundown.

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Today's top stories...

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Korean bobsledder uses

invisible crystal ball.

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I predict I will drop the ball on

the floor.

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Robin Cousins offers thoughts

on Anna Cappellini's pink dress.

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It suits him better than it does

Anna.

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And rabbit spotted in curling

arena The big news -

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And rabbit spotted in curling arena.

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The big news - it was a dead heat

for gold between Germany and Canada

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in the two-man bob.

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That is absolutely extraordinary.

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And I think I know the reason

why Team GB didn't win.

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Here is Great Britain. He has got

all of Great Britain behind him.

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Yes, it really is distracting having

all of Great Britain behind you.

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Hacker!

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Can you lend me a tenner?

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I'm going to the pictures

with Switzerland and Bulgaria!

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Get out of it "all

of Great Britain".

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I'm telling Papua

New Guinea about this!

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Whatever!

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I was interested to hear this

yesterday from Jenny Jones.

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For the first time ever big air is

in the Olympics.

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You're telling me!

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It's all about big "facial 'air".

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They've even given ski jumper

Robert Johannsen an award

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for his massive moustache.

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It was good. It was long. It was

clean. It had everything it needed

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to win a gold medal.

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Now, does anyone know what "second

place" means in German?

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Second place. Rats is the

translation!

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Oooooh...

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I think there's a "second

place" on my desk.

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No, that's just my moustache!

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No worries, Robert Johannsen,

from slightly earlier.

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Curling now.

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It's a real game of strategy -

where you've got to keep your

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tactics to yourself.

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Well, here's an exclusive...

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Our hidden microphones have recorded

some of Team GB's secret,

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hushed discussions.

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Sshhh.

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We need more of an idea about what

is going on up this line. If you

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touch this or touch this...

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Ooooh, how subtle.

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Now, isn't the name Rhona

really easy to pronounce.

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And very warm welcome to Rhony...

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I was very impressed with Rhony...

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Rhonow...

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But I think she could have said

the word "hog line" a bit more..

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When it reaches the hog line you can

double tap the handle. But you

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should release the stone before the

hog line. But her finger touched at

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the back of it just before it passed

the hog line.

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But I still don't know

what a hog line is!

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Now, time for my favourite

commentator using the word capable,

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then quickly proving

to be incapable.

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Now it is time to hand you back to

the very capable hands of...

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Breaking news..

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There's been a spate of medal

thefts at the Games.

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The first suspect was this skier...

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Oh, my goodness. She has almost got

the key to the safe that contains

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the gold medal.

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Don't worry, she almost got

them, but she didn't.

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Then the finger pointed

at my old mate Alan Reliability.

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I hope he's got an alibi!

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Mr reliability hasn't been anywhere

near the medals.

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I wonder who it was then?!

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I can't even describe what it was

like for her to bring home the those

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gold medals for Great Britain.

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Amy Williams!

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You're a disgrace!

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I must say, the Winter Olympics has

really got me wanting

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to take up Ski Jumping.

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I wonder how you do it?

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Breathe in. Breathe out.

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Simple!

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What next?

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Throw yourself down the hundred

metre track and launch.

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You're alright...

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There must be a sport

that suits me, though?

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We have got with us a world-class

pilot himself and a bronze medallist

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in waiting.

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He's got a bronze medal

just for waiting?

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I could get at least

a silver for that.

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HE WHISTLES.

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And in the Waiting event,

second place - or "rats"

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for all you Germans -

goes to Hacker the Dog.

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Here you go Hacker!

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Ooh, thanks medal thief

Amy Williams, from earlier!

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Ooh, heck...

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Medal thief?

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SIRENS BLARE.

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Oh no, the fuzz will be after me!

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There it goes now!

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Which neatly rounds

up another programme.

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