Prefect Imperfect Half Moon Investigations

Do you understand why you're here?

Yes.

-And do you know what you're about to receive?

-I do.

Then Hazel Moon, I declare you our newest junior prefect!

APPLAUSE

What's the point of any job if you don't get paid?

As Bernstein says, a good detective wants to help people.

No wonder he set up his academy. The guy was probably broke.

Moon! Check this out!

The Pupil Enterprise Week?

That's that student-run business competition, right?

Right. You promote your business ideas and Quinn gives a certificate

and £50 to the best one. You could promote Half Moon Investigations.

That might help us drum up some extra business - you know, the paid kind.

Did you put him up to this?

Come on, Moon, I need something to look forward to

other than the end-of-term test.

Even my little brother has a stall.

-I'll think about it.

-Great!

What's that?

-"Stop them."

-Stop who?

Stop them doing what? Maybe someone's out to hurt the prefects.

Wouldn't surprise me. They're not popular.

I suppose it's up to us to find out.

This is going to be one of those we-don't-get-paid cases, isn't it?

You're learning, Red.

Yeah, learning how to be poor.

Item number five - offensive graffiti in the girls' toilets.

Francesca, Lucy, I want you patrolling the area.

Item six - Flynn, O'Keefe, you're to accompany myself

and the headmistress on a tour of the pupil enterprise stalls.

-You spoil us, Godfrey!

-Cos you're worth it, Tommo!

Flynn and O'Keefe, Godfrey's henchmen.

Item seven - Josh, Meena, security detail.

The end-of-term test papers are being delivered at 12.30.

And finally, we have some new faces here today.

Hello, faces. I'm not going to stand here and say some stuffy speech

about the badge standing for duty,

honour and honesty, but look, I come from a long line of head boys -

my brother, my dad and my grandad -

and your families are going to be as proud of you as mine are of me.

That's it. I hate speeches.

Get out there and be brilliant.

I headed to the lab to check the badge.

Not every case was open and shut,

and this baby was shut tighter than a frog in a vice.

I had no idea who our client was or if there was a crime to be solved.

Hello, science geek.

Guess who's been made a prefect.

That'll be Hazel Moon?

My sister, Hazel, has multiple personalities, a different one

for every cute boy in school.

-How did you know?

-I'm a detective.

You should be pleased. This is the proudest day of my life.

So you didn't just apply because you fancy the head boy?

This job means everything to me!

OK, if it means so much to you, I'm happy for you.

Just make sure you don't mess things up.

A smudge!

There was a smudge on the badge.

No(?) Call the cops(!) The Phantom Smudger is at large!

Turns out it's photocopier toner.

So the prefects are photocopying their own butts?

Classic.

If we can find a pair of hands smudged with toner,

we may find who sent us the note and maybe find out what's going on.

Are you sure anything is going on, Moon?

You saw the note - "Stop them."

It could mean anything.

Somebody could be blackmailing a prefect.

OK, so how do we find Mr or Mrs Mucky-Nails?

Speak to the school manicurist(?)

Check this out!

"Half Moon Investigations -

"the moon that never...sleebs"?

Sleeps. It says "sleebs", Doobie.

What is sleebs?

It's meant to say "sleeps".

I thought it'd make a good slogan for the stall.

BELL RINGS Moon doesn't think we need to advertise.

Actually, it's a great idea.

-Really?

-Doobie can keep an eye out for mucky fingers

while you and I keep an eye on the prefects.

You want me to help you with a case? Really?

Yep. Meanwhile, Red and I are going on a stake-out.

-But I've already eaten.

-Always the comedian.

-I don't get it.

Go back to sleeb, Doobie.

Oi! Bell went 30 seconds ago.

Get to your class. Move it.

-OVER TANNOY:

-Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, don't forget,

Pupil Enterprise Week is only on for two more days.

Come to the hall and support your favourite stall.

Free lemonade. Get your free lemonade,

courtesy of Half Moon Investigations, for all your investigatory needs.

Regardez les losers.

Herod Sharkey selling cakes?

Where did you steal them from?

I made them. It's an old family recipe.

The secret ingredient's gonna win me the prize.

Want one?

I'd rather drink from a sewer.

He probably lives in one.

At least I don't look like a dog's bum.

People might be liking your cakes now, Sharkey,

but they'll be wanting their money back when they start being sick.

A boy can't succeed in business. Not at this school.

We'll have to bake the best cakes ever and win that prize.

Free lemonade? What's the catch?

Just free lemonade from your friendly neighbourhood detective agency.

Oi! No running!

-What's that?

-What's what?

-That!

Stop running!

Bernstein warns detective work isn't as glamorous as it looks on TV.

When it came to stake-outs, he was spot-on.

Godfrey? When you get a moment, I need you to go to my office

and shred some paperwork, make way for the new test sheets.

-We'll get right on it, ma'am.

-Lock the door behind you.

And make sure you don't lose that.

Mrs Quinn? I wondered if I could have a few words.

I'm doing a DVD for the Pupil Enterprise competition, and I...

Get that camera out the headmistress's face.

Let her speak!

-I'm doing a documentary on your budget cuts.

-Oh!

-And I...

-Headmistress! I shall not be silenced!

-Sorry about this, Mia.

-Headmistress's order.

-Get off me!

What does the stake-out tell us?

That the prefects like their power a little too much.

But none of them were breaking any rules, as far as we can tell.

I still think they're up to no good.

Half Moon! Fletcher! I did it!

Shhh! We're incognito.

You're where?

-What do you want?

-Richie Moss - his fingers are stained black with ink.

His dad owns a print shop in the high street. I should've remembered.

Here's his cup.

Nice work, Doobie.

Our next target was Richie Moss, and it didn't take long to find him.

Oi! Put him down.

Is beating up first years one of your prefect duties, big man?

No, but reporting you to the headmistress is.

How long have you been bullying?

-What?

-He's my cousin. He's been teaching me judo at weekends.

We were just practising a few moves.

I'm a black belt, so I seriously think you should let me go.

-Why did you send me that note, Moss?

-What note?

-This note.

-That's not my handwriting.

See? Nothing like it.

Have we embarrassed ourselves?

Bernstein says that a good detective admits his mistakes

and learns from them.

Well, I just earned myself a degree in stupidology.

It was time to try something new.

Hello!

We have the prettiest cakes.

Why doesn't anyone want to buy my tres jolis cakes?

What can his horrible boy cakes have that mine don't?

Stop eating them!

They ARE very yummy.

It's that secret ingredient.

Lemonade, April?

-What's the catch?

-No catch. It's courtesy of Half Moon Investigations.

I'll try your lemonade if you buy one of my cakes.

No, thanks, I've just bought a load off Herod.

They're great!

We need to find out what he's putting in those cakes.

Freedom of speech is a basic human right, but has that right been taken

away from the pupils at this ordinary comprehensive school?

I thought it was about Quinn slashing the school dinners budget.

Changed my mind.

It's a bit sensational.

Thanks!

I prefer my movies to have more exploding zombies and robots.

Look, guys, I'm busy. What did you want?

-What do you make of this?

-"PE final."

It's an indentation of what was written on the sheet above this.

-Sports day?

-That was last month.

Sorry, can't help. Unless you think there's a story in it for me.

I wish. It's all loose ends and dead ends right now.

Well, I need to get the DVDs ready for the Pupil Enterprise final.

Of course!

That's when it's going to happen!

"PE final".

PE, pupil enterprise!

Stop them!

Yeah, except we don't know who "them" are

or what "it" is or who wants us to stop "them" doing "it".

I'm very confused.

Welcome to my world.

I want a record of everything.

What is he doing?!

-Oh, he's not going to put that in the mix, is he?

-I think he is!

Oh, that's horrible!

Ohhh...

What if the Pupil Enterprise final's a smokescreen and the real crime

is going to happen somewhere else?

Right, because they can guarantee Quinn will be at the judging.

It's amazing where a little clue like this can lead.

Where did you get that?

From the mystery informant that put us on this case for no money.

-Why didn't you show me before?

-We thought if prefects were involved,

you'd put us in your documentary.

I've got an idea! Get the light thingy, that makes things go...

I think you mean the UV lamp.

Each badge is tagged with a security pen.

The writing's invisible, unless under ultraviolet light.

"True Friends"?

What does that mean?

It's name of the lonely hearts section in my paper.

"Snuggle bunny seeks cuddlesome love monkey."

Definitely not that one!

-We hope.

-Oh, look.

"Partial lunar eclipse,

"6.30 on Monday plus one, where mason meets butcher."

That's just a load of old guff.

It makes perfect sense!

Yeah, if you're fluent in gibberish.

What's another name for a partial lunar eclipse?

Half-moon.

"Monday plus one" must mean Tuesday.

That's today.

And there's a junction in town where Mason Avenue meets Butcher Road.

On the corner of Mason and Butcher was a shopping mall, and it didn't

take long to figure out what "make it snappy" referred to.

I'm here. Alone.

As requested.

So what's going on? Who are you?

HIGH VOICE: If I wanted you to know that, d'you think I'd be hiding?

What's with the funny voice?

Be quiet!

That'll give you everything you need to know.

How are the prefects involved?

Read the file. Look for the most improved student.

-That's it?

-That's it.

Now get out of here.

RUNNING FOOTSTEPS >

Why did he give you a copy of test results for the last four years?

Statistics speak a thousand words.

The only words they speak to me are, "Go to sleep - we're very boring".

-Nothing raised alarm bells until I got to Nigel Godfrey.

-The head boy?

And the most improved student.

In his early years, he was getting Ds and Es across the board.

Now he's getting nothing less than A minus.

So he had a secret past as a thicko

but bucked up his ideas?

Improving your grades is hardly a crime.

Depends on how he went about it.

Do you happen to have somebody on the inside that can help us?

You want me to spy on the head boy?

We think Godfrey's up to something tomorrow lunchtime, something bad.

How do you think he got to be head boy?

He's never done anything wrong.

Apart from maybe cheat on all his tests.

Who do you think you are, sniffing around us prefects?

We're the ones keeping order in the school.

I hope so.

Sisters!

We know your secret ingredient.

Get off!

You're lying. Only my family knows.

We were watching while you made your cakes.

Well, what are you going to do now?

We could show everyone the footage we took of you baking.

-So?

-Do you honestly think people are going to like your cakes

when they know what's in them?

I could be persuaded to keep it a secret...

Why would you do that for me?

The word is your stall will win the Pupil Enterprise competition.

-And you want a slice of the glory.

-Not just a slice, Herod.

We want the whole darn cake.

GULP!

While Herod faced his own recipe for disaster,

I decided it was time to kick-start the investigation.

I went to the prefects' common room to look for clues.

If we're not needed here, we wanted to finish shredding that paperwork.

Certainly. You're dismissed.

Thank you, ma'am.

Nigel, I wondered if I could have a word...sort of in private.

I'll catch you up.

Don't be long.

What was it you wanted?

This is going to sound...

Look, certain people have been saying things about you.

What people? What things?

That you're a cheat and might be up to something bad.

Who have you been talking to?!

Sorry.

Listen, why don't we discuss this silly matter after school?

We could go for a burger.

What, like a date?

Exactly. Let's go on a date.

First I've got a few errands to run for Mrs Quinn.

But I'll meet you afterwards, OK?

OK! Sure.

This is Crimson Champ to Aiken Drum.

I am in pursuit.

By the way, do we have to use these stupid codenames?

Yes, we do. Listen to this.

I'm in the prefects' common room looking at the duty rota.

A whole bunch of them have been on photocopying duty this week. Over.

Hey, that explains the smudge on the badge.

Looks like our informant's definitely on the inside.

What's happening there? Over.

I'm still following Godfrey, but I'm not sure where he's going.

Red, remember to say "Over" when you've finished speaking. Over.

Over. Happy now?

Godfrey, Flynn and O'Keefe all due to be helping Quinn right now. Over.

What, you think O'Keefe and Flynn are in on the crime? Over.

There's no way Godfrey could be up to something without them knowing.

While Red was tailing our suspect, I decided to go through Godfrey's bag.

Who have you been talking to?

Nobody! What are you talking about?

People know we're up to something.

Who? How?

Red, I've just found a bar of soap and a key in Godfrey's school bag.

So he likes to keep his front door key clean. Over.

No, I think he used the soap to copy the key. Over.

-Copy the key to where? Over.

-I bet it's the key to Quinn's office.

-Red, who's that? Over.

-It's me, Fletcher.

So you finally saw sense. Over.

I'm not saying there isn't a perfectly innocent explanation,

but the new test papers were delivered yesterday.

Quinn will have locked them in her office.

We have to deal with it.

Come on!

Moon, come in! Moon!

Moon! If you can hear me, get out of there now.

Get the key. It's in my bag.

Front pocket.

-The key's not in here.

-What? It has to be!

Stop right there.

Oh, hi.

Hello. Just doing a carpet inspection.

Lovely pile.

Oh, look, the key.

Anyway, must be off.

You're coming with us.

I'm here. Alone.

As requested.

My presentation abilities coupled to your recipe, Sharkey -

it's a winning combination.

It's like there's a party in my mouth.

These are almost as tasty as Herod's cakes.

They ARE my cakes.

Good job, April.

Headmistress, would you care to try one of my delicious cakes?

But they're mi...

Good!

Mmm! Very good!

What do you put in them, April?

Yeah, why don't you tell her, April?

Why don't you tell her who you stole that recipe from?

Stop acting the fool, boy.

Jealousy. No, my cakes are in fact an old Devereaux recipe.

This is bang out of order.

I love that icing. It's a sort of butter icing, isn't it?

Very sweet. Very vanilla. You must give me the recipe.

Move it, pint size.

Quinn'd be very disappointed if she could hear you.

I don't give a fig about Quinn.

I'm just saying, it'd be terrible if she could hear what you're saying.

-And is that a copy of the key to her office?

-I said shut up.

-You go and get Quinn.

-She won't take any notice of me.

You'll think of something.

I'm going to find out what Godfrey's up to.

'Do as you're told!

'Guys, you're going to get caught.'

Saving the best till last, right, headmistress?

Very amusing, girl.

Are you ready to see my documentary?

I call it Gagged - One Girl's Quest For Facts In An Uncaring World.

Get ready for the truth, people.

This isn't my film!

Is that Herod? Why's he baking?

Where's my DVD?

Shh! Mia, I'm trying to watch this.

Turn that off!

Turn that off now!

He's putting cat food in the cakes! ALL: Yuk!

Yes, that's right.

I baked the cakes that April is selling.

April Devereaux, were you selling cakes containing cat food?

-No, I can assure you.

-She did.

She stole my recipe.

The cat food's a family secret.

It sort of takes the edge off the sweetness.

You could have poisoned the whole school. A week's detention.

You're telling me you didn't know the cakes contained cat food?

Of course not! If I'd had any idea, I'd have reported him straightaway.

But you admit you were passing his cakes off as your own.

You're disqualified from the competition.

And if anyone has trouble keeping the cakes down,

you'll have the responsibility of clearing it up.

Miss! Miss!

-You have to come with me.

-Oh, another Sharkey.

What have YOU got for me?

Lemon meringue pie containing live weasels?

-No! What?

-'Godfrey, don't do this.'

Look, you have to come with me.

-'I don't give a fig about Quinn.'

-Godfrey?!

-This is mad!

-Move it, pint size.

-Guys...

-Get in there!

Whoa! Ow!

Right, get the test papers.

Nigel? What are you doing?

Obviously, we're helping the headmistress.

They're making copies of the tests so Godfrey can get top marks.

That's ridiculous! I don't need to cheat.

I've always been top of the class.

You weren't till you realised you could cheat your way to the top.

When the badge and note were posted into my locker

by a mystery informant, it gave us not one but three clues,

the first being the copier toner smudge on the back of the badge.

I'm in the prefects' room looking at the duty rota.

A whole bunch of them have been on photocopying duty in the past week.

Second was the indentation, Pupil Enterprise final,

which told us when the crime was going to be committed.

Godfrey knew Quinn would be busy and he had a copy of her key.

The third clue led me to the meeting with the our mystery informant.

Alone.

As requested.

His shoes gave him away, though.

It was Tommy Flynn,

whose initials just happen to be TF, as in "True Friends".

Tommy supplied us with the exam results, which clearly showed

Godfrey's extraordinary progress,

and this can only be put down to one thing - he cheated.

Is that true?

You don't know how important it was for me to be head boy.

You don't know what my family's like.

All that stuff about you liking me, was that a lie, too?

Of course it isn't! I like you.

You like me. And that's why we're not going to say anything to Quinn.

Do the right thing, Hazel.

I can't let you do this. I believed in the badge and in you,

but you're just some loser with a lust for power.

Who's Quinn going to believe, her golden boy or a rookie prefect

and her short-stack brother who's friends with a Sharkey?

Imagine her face when she sees you both in her office,

especially after you've vandalised it.

O'Keefe?

Oops(!)

Crimson Champ, did you get all that? Over.

'Hey, you bet I did.'

And I'm not the only one.

-Hello, Godfrey.

-I quit.

I'm proud of you, Hazel.

Don't make this weird.

Flynn had done the right thing,

and Godfrey's reign as head boy was over.

Their friendship survived, though,

even if sweeping up at break time was no-one's idea of fun.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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