Open Day Hank Zipzer

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Come back here.

Look out!!

Sorry!

Sorry? You will be...

I assure you Henry Zipzer!

This is what happens when you offer to help out at school.

Henry Zipzer, you will never escape!

OK, let's rewind.

Tomorrow is Open Day. I want academic brilliance!

I want parents falling on their knees, begging me

to let their children enrol!

'Please Mr Joy,

can my children enrol to Westbrook Academy?' Yes, they may.

Now, we know for every high-flying swan,

there are a few low flying pigeons.

I will not have Open Day disrupted by troublemakers.

And that's why I've created this.

The usual suspects. I do not want them anywhere near Open Day.

Why don't we just expel them all?

Out with the old, in with the new?

I like your thinking, Miss Adolf.

Apparently, I'm not allowed to do that.

I've checked.

So, for tomorrow, we need to make sure our damaged stock

is at the back of the shelf.

Am I making myself clear?

And, erm...Mr Rock?

I'll take care of him.

You're going to sell every instrument in this school?

We need the money for more important things like science

and maths and a humidifier for this office.

Now, here, music helps children with maths.

It inspires their passion.

Excellent! That's all the trombones gone

to a marching band in Bulgaria.

Aren't online auctions brilliant?

Do you know that your school is bursting with future musical stars?

Wait until you see what I have got laid on for Open Day.

Yes, about that.

Given the downsizing of your department,

I am thinking let's keep things low key tomorrow.

I don't want parents getting the idea that we encourage

pupils to become musicians, or even worse...

..actors.

Be aware that I am going to fight your cuts with every

fibre of my being.

That's fine, as long as you fight them quietly.

Bye-bye.

Tomorrow, during Open Day, one of you will go

and be a tour guide and the rest of you will remain here to

demonstrate an illuminating physics experiment with me.

I'll be the tour guide, Miss!

You? A tour guide?

We're trying to embrace the parents, not ostracize them!

But I wouldn't ostrich size them.

Watch!

And in here is Geography.

You'll learn all about wind,

especially if you have chicken madras from the canteen!

Henry, get back to your seat!

And in here we learn French. Adios, Miss Adolf!

Sit down!

And in here is History...

As are you.

Henry Zipzer you are excluded tomorrow, don't bother coming in.

-That's not fair!

-He was just showing you he could be a good tour guide!

Any more out of you two and you'll both be joining him.

My choice for tour guide is Nick McKelty.

We're doing a demonstration

on atmospheric gases for Open Day and I'm holding the test tube.

I bet they chose you cos you're full of hot air.

What's up with you, grumplestiltskin?

I'm fine. In fact, I'm really happy cos Miss Adolf has given me

the day off tomorrow for being such an awesome student.

Nice try, but they're not as stupid as they look.

I was just trying to show her what a good tour guide I would be.

And you accidentally set fire to the dustbins?

No! She just got mad at me for no reason.

They're excluding all the undesirables,

so they can't ruin Open Day.

I think it's a sensible precaution.

It's fine,

I needed some time to practise Molten Monkey Smashdown anyway.

Do you remember Beckham's lowest point?

Wearing a sarong?

Getting sent off in the '98 World Cup. Everybody said he couldn't come

back from that.

But he did, and so will you. Smashdown!

Sorry, I should probably be letting you win.

You're not winning, that's my monkey.

Oh. Right.

Well, what I'm saying is, there'll be other Open Days.

Remember when you took me round for Open Day?

Everyone looked so clever, I never saw anyone with, you know,

learning difficulties.

They probably did the same to those kids,

and sent them home for the day.

All they are going to see is McKelty being perfect, and Adolf being mean.

I wanted to show them someone different, someone like me.

Well...

you'd have made a great tour guide, Hank.

Smashdown!

That's not my monkey, is it?

I never stood a chance of being at Open Day, did I?

Hank's right, you know,

it's not fair he's missing the Open Day.

I'm going to go down there and give Mr Joy a piece of my mind.

Do you remember when Hank was excluded from Sports Day?

He was only practising hurdles...

in maths.

Yeah, but the school really overreacted.

I've never seen you that angry before.

Except maybe when I forgot your birthday.

-Do you remember what you said?

-Please don't hurt me?

No, about the sports day.

I wanted to go down there and yell at them.

But you said, "No, sleep on it".

And that was really good advice.

OK, I'll sleep on it.

We're going down the school!

No, no, no, no, no!

The name of our school isn't Wormy Cats. Again from the top.

Two, three, four...

Sorry to interrupt you, Mr Joy, but could we have a word?

It'll have to wait,

can you not see that we are at a critical stage of rehearsals.

K, no, you're supposed to be over there! How many times?

OK, we'll just take it up with the school governors.

Oh, no, no, wait! What SEEMS to be the problem?

Shush! Shush! Shush!

Now our Open Day experiment will show how we can power two

domestic light bulbs using our own energy.

Miss Adolf, erm...

I understand that Henry Zipzer has accidentally been excluded?

Yes, we all agreed it was for the best that...

Surely not today of all days?

But you...

Today is a day for all our pupils to shine.

-But what about low flying pigeons?

-Sshhh!

-And damaged stock?

-Shhh, shh, shh!

I think the pressure of the day might have got to Miss Adolf.

So Hank can be a tour guide?

-Mmmmm...

-But I'm the tour guide for this class.

Maybe we could have two tour guides?

Excellent suggestion! You can do it together.

-Everyone happy?

-No.

-No.

-Everyone else?

-Yes.

Today we fight for our cuts.

Today we are going to raise the roof on this place. Today...

I am going to find out where the rest of my students are?

Don't tell me...

I've re-assigned most of your pupils...

Of course you have(!)

..to more vital roles in the Open Day.

But I have got you another little helper.

It's not fair,

I'm supposed to be helping with the Chemistry experiment.

I think it's best if all the Zipzers

are in less explosive part of the school today, don't you?

You won't be using those, will you?

We agreed to keep the noise down.

We'll be as quiet as mice, headmaster.

Good.

Mice in an Iron Maiden tribute band!

Iron Maiden?

World famous?

No?

This is going to be a long day(!)

I'm the official tour guide, I'll be doing the talking.

Great. They'll be asleep in five minutes.

Think you can do better, Zipzer? You read the fact sheet.

We-st br-ook a-cad-em...

See? You're not up to the job.

Welcome to Westbrook Academy.

My name is Nicholas McKelty, and I'll be your tour guide for today.

And I'm his identical twin brother, Hank!

Buckle up, and get ready for a rollercoaster ride

through the magical kingdom of Westbrook!

Wait a minute, Hank, we've forgotten our tour badges.

Won't be a minute.

We don't need badges, our fact sheet shows we're tour guides.

You know Mr Joy, he likes everything official.

They're in there on the shelf.

A bit further back. Just...

Very funny, McKelty, now let me out!

HE THUMPS ON DOOR

We're going to be great on Open Day.

We're going to make the...

I need someone to help in Biology.

Pick me! Pick me!

You, come with me.

You can't take my drummer!

You and you are needed in French. Tout suite.

How am I going to make music on Open Day without musicians?

You can keep that one.

Today is not the day the music died.

Not on my watch!

Shhhh.

I do apologise, just a small problem I had to get rid of.

As I was saying - I'm Nicholas McKelty

and I'll be your tour guide today.

Please, everyone, follow me.

Listen carefully, Azmat, you'll learn a lot from this boy.

"Westbrook Academy was founded in two thousand and..."

-INSIDE CUPBOARD:

-Help! Help!

No music! No music!

So, I fell for the bit further back trick.

Believe me, I feel like an idiot.

Since becoming Head Teacher, Mr Joy has

transformed the school into a dynamic learning environment...

Meanwhile, McKelty couldn't even keep the tour group together.

What a loser.

Well, Mr Joy's cleaned us except for these.

My goodness...

There's still this.

"Mr Rock, this has been sold to a one man band from Wolverhampton.

"Do not use. Mr Joy."

A man filled with joy(!)

What's this?

That is a box filled with bits and bobs that fell off instruments

and I can't fix them.

Maybe there's something you can do.

Listen, Emily, how am I going to teach students with no instruments?

Did you know,

if you change the length of an air-filled tube,

it changes its resonant frequency?

How do I get the feeling

you're about to come up with something brilliant, right now?

We can make new instruments out of the broken bits! Here...

All right, Lady Frankenstein, let's get to work!

-We're lost...

-This is ridiculous, where's our tour guide?

What was his name? McNulty, McNumpty? I liked him...

THUMPING ON DOOR

-Oh, phew!

-I'm all for discipline, but even I draw the line

at locking pupils in cupboards.

It's barbaric.

No! No, I was just rehearsing for...a play.

Above average rating...

While McKelty was boring the visitors stupid,

I was having the time of my life.

At lunchtime you come here and they serve everything with custard!

You can get fish fingers with custard, sausage with custard,

custard with custard!

Ta-da!

They are alive! Oh, we've got music!

Thank you, Em!

Do you know what just dawned on me?

We haven't had a visitor all afternoon. Where is everybody?

Did they cancel Open Day?

I don't know, let's go find out. Come on.

And you'll get given one of...these.

Careful when you open it for the first time though.

I heard one kid used to keep a snake in his.

Some people like to clean their lockers out, but I prefer

to keep the element of surprise.

Last week I found a gerbil, two garden gnomes

and eight slices of salami in mine.

I heard there's a teacher here called Miss Adolf?

Yes. Yes, there is.

I hear she is impressive.

What's she like?

Well, erm, impressive would be a word to...

You don't like her, do you?

Well, er...

like can be a confusing word, like glockenspiel.

Hey! That reminds me, you know who everyone likes?

Mr Rock, our music teacher. You've got to meet him!

Follow me!

He can't have gone far, we'll just wait for him to come back.

No, I want to meet Miss Adolf.

Only someone who's never met her would say that.

Emily...

Is it just me, or is there no arrow pointing towards Music?

They've left it off the tour!

I missed a tour once. I got on the wrong plane.

My band went to Austria, I went to Australia.

And when I got off the plane, I was wondering,

why aren't the kangaroos talking German?

No child is going to miss this tour because of an arrow.

Let's go.

Ten seconds remaining.

-Come on, Ashley!

-He's beating you, come on!

Time's up!

Well done, Miss Chen, you go to the top of the leaderboard.

Where's Nicholas? He's supposed to be keeping an eye on you.

Well, obviously he thinks "keep an eye on" is code for

"lock in a cupboard".

If it wasn't for me, this group would still be lost.

And now what really happened?

Let's have another demonstration. Hank, let's see you up on that bike.

Clear? One, two, three, clear!

Go!

Go!

Go!

Sorry.

You want Henry to have a go on the bike?

Well, let's face it, this tour couldn't get much stranger.

I must apologise. Nicholas was meant to be the official guide.

I'm sorry your tour wasn't up to scratch.

The tour was exceptional.

-It was?

-It was?

Yes. I've not seen Azmat have this much fun at school since, well,

ever, and that's down to you, Hank.

Now, let's see if your legs are as fast as your mouth.

That's not possible.

Sorry, Miss Adolf?

I said anything is possible! Let's begin the experiment!

Who's going to take me on?

We've all had a go, except...

Miss Adolf hasn't!

I really don't think that would be appropriate.

Besides, I can't, I'm supervising the experiment.

Plus, Miss has just had a new hairdo.

Yes, thank you, Henry. I don't think the visitors need to

know about my hairdressing arrangements.

And it wouldn't be fair, cos I'd beat her too easily.

Get on the bike, Henry.

Ready, Miss?

Ready!

Hello, welcome to the music department.

We are going to make the most noise we can possibly make...

Ready, set, go.

Louder!

100 and five decibels!

I love it! You're a genius!

Mr Joy, this is for you.

-20 seconds left!

-He's letting it slip!

-Pedal like you mean it, Hank!

-Sit down!

-Hank Zipzer takes the lead!

Ten seconds left! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5...

Dig deep, Agnes.

..4, 3, 2, 1...

In my top ten list of disasters,

I'm putting this pretty close to number one.

My hair is ruined!

Can anyone else smell burnt toast?

That's my hair!

-You never know, it could catch on.

-Henry ZIPZER!

Keep pedalling!

Get out of my way.

And this is where we came in... Oh, boy!

-Pedal, legs, pedal!

-Come back here!

Look out.

Sorry!

Sorry, you will be, I assure you, Henry Zipzer!

Henry Zipzer, you will never escape!

K is for Kinship.

Here at Westbrook, we like to think of ourselves as one big family.

C is for Caring.

Here at Westbrook, our teachers truly care

about each and every...

Come back here, you despicable child!

Wait until I get my hands on you!

It was an accident, Miss!

And D...is for Drama! We hope you liked our performance!

Thank you, Hank and Miss Adolf, for that highly realistic piece.

And M is for Music...

..led by the awesome Mr Rock, and my little sister, Emily?!

Here at Westbrook we have a very lively

and engaging music department.

Yes, yes. We like to encourage music here at Westbrook.

But...we seem to be a little light on instruments.

But I heard Mr Joy is buying lots and lots more.

Yes. We are going to buy lots more instruments.

Because music is so important at Westbrook.

Isn't that right, Mr J?

Mr Joy. Yes, yes.

Music is a very important subject, here at Westbrook.

Top three?

Don't push it.

If you'd like to try any of these handmade instruments,

follow the arrows to the music room.

Let's get this show on the road!

Hours I spent choreographing that routine,

only for you to come barging in, and mess the whole thing up!

It was a total shambles.

PHONE RINGS

Head Teacher Joy speaking.

Yes, it was an innovative presentation.

All part of the Westbrook approach.

We look forward to welcoming your child.

Thank you very much, goodbye.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes, the shambles.

What on earth...?

PHONE RINGS

Head Teacher Joy speaking.

Well, thank you very much. I will pass on your congratulations.

The pupil's name?

QUIETLY: Hank Zipzer.

We look forward to welcoming your child.

Oh, triplets?

We'll do our very best to accommodate them. Thank you very much.

Goodbye.

Get out of my office immediately.

I'll let him thank me later.

Ah, triplets! Triplets!

A seat on Westbrook's school council has become vacant.

What kind of supergeek would sign up for that?

I am not letting McKelty win.

McKelty must be stopped.

You're standing for school council?!

Against McKelty?!

This way to meet Hank Zipzer! Don't forget to vote.

-Oh...

-My...

..Golf cart!

Vote McKelty for free sweets everyday!

Do whatever it takes, but win!

McKelty means business!

HE SCREAMS