Episode 12 HH: Gory Games


Episode 12

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# If mummies, rats and fleas Ain't your thing

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# And you don't like the sound Of an exploding king

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# If you're easily scared And don't laugh at poo

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# Better turn off This show ain't for you

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# Still watching? Then, let's test your brains

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# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

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# Horrible Histories Gory...

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# Games! #

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Hello, and welcome to Gory Games,

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with me, Dave Lamb.

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And me, Rattus Rattus,

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and Dave, I have to say,

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I'm liking your shirt.

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Oh, thanks, Rattus, I really appreciate the compliment.

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It looks like someone's been sick on it and I am a big fan of sick.

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Yes, let's just get on with the show, shall we,

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and meet today's horrible historians!

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Hi, I'm Charlotte and I'm from London!

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Hello, Charlotte!

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Hi, I'm Matt and I'm from Chichester!

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Hello, Matt!

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Hi, I'm Katya and I'm from London!

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Hello, Katya!

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Welcome, everyone, you are here to win Year Spheres.

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At the end of the show,

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the person with the highest year score will win a fabulous prize

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that I found floating in the time sewer.

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Let's hope it's not one of Henry the VIII's number twos!

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Ooh, that would be a good one.

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It wouldn't actually, it'd be horrible. Time for Round One.

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What's it about? Let's go over to the Gory Grid to find out.

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It's the Frightful First World War.

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So, four questions on the First World War coming up

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and the person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

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Your four First World War topics are...

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So, Katya, you get to pick first in this round,

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which one of those takes your fancy?

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Nicknames, please.

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True or false - King George V of Britain

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was nicknamed the Fat King.

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Let's see your answers now, please.

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Katya and Matt have agreed on true,

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Charlotte thinks it's false.

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What's the actual answer?

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It's false.

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The Fat King was actually a nickname for Major Ellis,

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who set up a factory in France

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to turn animal fat into explosives for bombs.

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So if the Germans blew up one of our horses,

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we could use the horse fat to make a bomb to fire back at them.

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It's what Dobbin would've wanted.

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Well done, Charlotte, first point

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and I shall award a skull, well done.

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Matt, your turn to pick a topic.

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Laws.

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Now that, Matt, is a prop question!

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-Prop question! Prop question! Prop question! Pro...

-Yeah,

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that's what I said, a prop question.

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Yes, Dave, and today's prop is in the top cupboard.

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Ah, yes, but that is precisely what you want me to think,

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so clearly, it's not in the top cupboard,

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which means it's either in the middle or the bottom.

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Now, which is it?

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Yeah, you've got me, it's actually in the bottom one.

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Ah, which is exactly what you want me to think,

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so therefore, it must be in the middle one!

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Oh!

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Too easy!

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Sorry, Dave, just a bit of fun.

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The prop was actually in the top one.

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Right. Oh, not again!

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THEY LAUGH

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That never stops being funny! I tell ya!

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It stopped being funny some time ago, Rattus. Here is the prop.

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This is a kite, so true or false -

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during the First World War, it was illegal to fly kites.

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Show me your answers now, please.

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Everybody has gone for true

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and I can tell you it is true.

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The authorities were worried it might mean

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you were sending secret messages to the Germans.

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I'm good at kite-flying.

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-Really?

-Yeah, well I've always got plenty of wind, haven't I?

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HE FARTS

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Thanks for sharing that. You have all scored a point. Superb effort.

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Charlotte, it's your turn to pick a topic.

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Um...beds, please.

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True or false - in the World War I trenches,

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posh officers slept in sheds made of metal.

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Show me your answers now, please.

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Well, the girls have agreed on true,

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Matt thinks it's false.

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What's the actual answer?

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It's true, they did. While us ordinary soldiers

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had to sleep in the muddy, freezing, rat-infested trench.

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Congratulations, Katya, another point for you,

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Charlotte, another point for you.

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So one question left in this round, all still to play for.

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The question is on the French and this is what it is.

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Is this true or false?

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Show me your answers now, please.

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Everybody's gone for true,

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are they all right or are they all wrong? Let's find out.

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It's true!

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It was nonsense, of course, it was just a malicious rumour.

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-Indeed.

-But it's a point for everybody

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and that means that,

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at the end of that round,

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with four out of four, Charlotte is the winner of the first Year Sphere,

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and it's time for me to say...

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All Hail The Potty Pyramid!

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UPBEAT MUSIC

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Rattus, have you been fiddling with the music?

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Yes! I like it!

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I thought it would make a change, cos it's a little bit potty!

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Well, thank you, because you've successfully destroyed the moment.

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Never mind, Charlotte, pick a Year Sphere anyway,

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but choose carefully, of course,

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because AD dates will be added to your total

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and BC dates subtracted from it.

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We'll find out what's in there at the end of the show.

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So, winning the World War I quiz means that Charlotte

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is automatically through to play the First World War game,

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but will she be alone or will everybody get to play?

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Let's find out.

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It's a single-player silly game.

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So, Charlotte, get down that time sewer on your own.

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See ya.

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In the First World War, food rations were as dull

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as the colour scheme in Rattus' house.

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-What's wrong with brown?

-Everything.

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So to make their dull diet seem a little more fun,

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the British squaddies made up their own slang.

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It's time to play...

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Five foods and five novel nicknames,

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your job is to match the snack to the slang.

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Simply grab the food from the store

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and place each item

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next to the correct First World War slang name for it.

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Make your choices, then touch the stinky boot

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to see how many you've got right.

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Keep trying different combinations until you get all five correct,

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but you've got to be quick because you're against the clock,

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and your time starts now.

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HORN HONKS

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Here goes Charlotte playing Know Your Onions.

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So she has to match the foodstuff to the slang term for it.

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So those are the biscuits,

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and she thinks they were referred to as bully.

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What's rat slang for biscuits?

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HE SQUEAKS

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Yeah, I can see why you chose that.

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Now the porridge.

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What's the slang for that?

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She thinks it's muckim.

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Muckim, muckim.

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Oh, I had a bit of muckim this morning, if that's what it is.

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Anyway, she's got five things down,

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touches the boot.

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SPLASH

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You have one correct.

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-One right.

-Only the one.

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Oh, dear. That's a bit of a shocker.

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So she has to move them one at a time here, Rattus,

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I think that's the key, then you can learn.

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Ah, don't think there's any real strategy in play here.

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None whatsoever.

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SPLASH

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You have none correct.

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None right.

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Well, she knows she's got to do something,

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and she needs to do it quickly.

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30 seconds remaining.

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Yes, I'm not sure this random plate-swapping's going to work.

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The only one she hasn't moved

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this time is the corned beef.

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SPLASH

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You have two correct.

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Dave, you know when you get a corn on your foot?

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-Yes.

-And you know corned beef?

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Different kind of corn.

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Back to the game, I think.

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SPLASH

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You have two correct.

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Oh, dear, well, there's only seconds remaining, can she work it out?

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Time's up.

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SIREN GOES OFF

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No, she can't, and she'll be disappointed with that.

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ALL: Aw!

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Yeah. Ah, welcome back, Charlotte, welcome back.

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-Bad luck, that was very difficult, wasn't it?

-Uh-huh.

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Sadly, no Year Sphere for you. I'll give you the real answers,

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just in case you ever do find yourself in a trench.

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Pozzy was jam, burgoo was porridge, but muckim was butter.

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-Oh!

-Bully was corned beef

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and hard tack was what they used to call biscuit.

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OK, Round Two,

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and to find out what's up next, it's back over to the Gory Grid.

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It's the Nasty Knights.

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Four questions again, and your knights' topics are...

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So Matt, it's your turn to choose first in this round.

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Er...battles, please.

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That is a question from you know who.

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He means me!

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Hope you're ready for something stupid,

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by which I mean a stupid death.

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What was unusual about King John of Bohemia,

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who fought at the Battle of Crecy?

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A. He was blind.

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B. He was already dead.

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Or C. He fought with paper armour and a cardboard sword.

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Give me your answers now, please.

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Katya and Charlotte think it's B,

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Matt thinks the answer is A.

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Let's find out from Death

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what the actual answer is.

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The answer is...

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King John was blind.

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He rode to battle with his horse tied to two bodyguards.

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It didn't work out, he was killed.

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Talk about the blind leading the blind.

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But surely his bodyguards weren't blind.

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Don't be such a nitpicker.

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Didn't work, did it, Rattus?

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I can still hear you!

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What I meant to say is that it did work excellently, well done, Death.

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OK, that's one point then for Matt,

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congratulations.

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Charlotte, it's your turn to choose.

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Tournaments, please.

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I'll get straight to the point.

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My question is...

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A. They rode bigger horses.

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B. They used longer lances.

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Or C. They wore special armour.

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Let's have a look at your answers, please.

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The girls have agreed again on B,

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and Matt is out on his own again with C.

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Let's find out what the answer is.

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The answer is...

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They used longer lances!

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That would certainly work, wouldn't it?

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Congratulations, Katya and Charlotte.

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It's your turn to pick this time, Katya.

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German knights, please.

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A German knight called Max Woolfer went into tournaments

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with an unusual crest on his helmet.

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It was a spike, but what was impaled on it?

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A. One pig's bladder.

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B. Two roast chickens.

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Or C. Three sausages.

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Show me your answers now, please.

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The girls agreeing again,

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Matt deciding he knows best with B,

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what's the answer?

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The answer is...

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Well, there we go, no points awarded for that one,

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and there's one question left in this round

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with you all level pegging.

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The last question is on the First Crusade, here it comes.

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During the First Crusade, what did some knights believe

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God had sent to lead them to the Holy Land?

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Let's see your answers now, please.

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Total agreement at last,

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everybody thinks it's B.

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What's the answer?

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The answer is...

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The knights thought a goose would lead them to the Holy Land.

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So that's a point apiece.

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At the end of that round,

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we see it's two points each,

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that means we are going to a tie-breaker question.

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Beginning with the letter S,

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what wooden object did a knight hold in his left hand?

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Katya.

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Sword.

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It's not sword. Matt and Charlotte may buzz in. Matt.

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A shield.

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Shield is the correct answer.

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Bad luck, Katya, well done, Matt,

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help yourself to a Year Sphere.

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Remember, Matt, the later the date, the bigger the points.

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OK, Matt, as the knight quiz winner,

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you're through to play the knight game,

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but will it be just you or will the others get to play too?

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Let's find out.

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It's an all-play silly game.

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So come on, everyone, let's get back down that time sewer.

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-Lead on, Charlotte, you know the way.

-Yeah.

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Becoming a knight took 14 years of training,

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and your training starts here.

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It's time to play...

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In the Middle Ages, knights would practise their jousting

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by running the rings.

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You must ride up and down your lane hooking one ring at a time

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and bringing it back to your basket.

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The first to collect six rings wins the Year Sphere. Are you ready?

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In three, two, one!

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HORN HONKS

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So off they go in Lance-A-Lot,

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and here is where they are hoping

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to, in fact, lance a lot.

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And, oh, dear me, that's a shame,

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that's two knocked down already

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by Matt and Katya.

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Charlotte's doing well though,

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she's speared her first ring.

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I don't think... I don't think Matt

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actually collected a ring that time,

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I think it had fallen off, he didn't realise.

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But Katya and Charlotte

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have both started well.

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Dave, I have to say, I don't know many horses,

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but I once had a nasty run-in with a mule.

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They can kick like...

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What's the expression? Um...

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-A mule?

-That's the one!

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Yes, easy when you hear it, isn't it?

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So here we go, Matt has got his first ring there,

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but the girls are neck and neck with two each.

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And there's Matt, look at him racing along,

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trying to catch up with the girls,

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he's picked up some great speed on his horse now,

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it has to be said, Rattus.

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And look at that, he's got his game face on. Lovely!

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Oh, yes, it's all very much still to play for here.

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There are rings that are up for grabs,

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there are rings that need to be lanced, Rattus.

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That's three for Katya, three for Charlotte.

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Well, I know maths is tricky for you, Rattus, but that is halfway.

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No horses have been harmed in the making of this game at any stage.

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There was somebody got a splinter off one of them at one point

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but none of the horses have actually been harmed.

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Now, then, they're moving through this game very nicely.

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Oh! That one wiped its feet a bit, didn't it?

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So four apiece then for Katya and Charlotte,

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I think this will be an out-and-out fight between them.

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Oh, but Charlotte's just knocked that ring off, that could cost her.

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Matt's doing very well here but the girls, they've just got

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that extra leg speed and that precision

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when it comes to dropping the rings in the basket.

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Oh, case in point there, Rattus, case in point.

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Oh, well, oh, Katya's twirling her lance round like a baton,

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not sure that's going to help.

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She needs to focus because Charlotte has got her fifth.

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If Katya can get this one through, she's going to win.

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Look at that, she's got it in place,

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she's just got to drop this into the basket.

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-Oh, no!

-She's missed! She's missed!

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It was in, Rattus, and then it was out!

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And that means Charlotte behind her

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is surely going to win this!

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Yes, she's done it!

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Charlotte runs rings around them all and she is delighted!

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Charlotte, yeah, that's right, help yourself to a Year Sphere,

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very well played.

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That was close! How was it for you?

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Um...Matt dropped his, so that's when I thought it's my chance to catch up.

0:15:320:15:37

So Matt dropping his made you think you were still in with a chance?

0:15:370:15:41

Yeah, so I started running.

0:15:410:15:42

So half of that Year Sphere is Matt's, effectively.

0:15:420:15:45

-Yeah.

-No, it's not, we're not going to take that away from you.

0:15:450:15:48

Well done, everyone. Round Three,

0:15:480:15:50

and it's over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

0:15:500:15:54

It's the Awful Egyptians.

0:15:540:15:56

Four questions, as always, and here are your four Egyptian topics...

0:15:570:16:02

So, Charlotte, what will you have?

0:16:080:16:10

Toilets, please.

0:16:100:16:11

You won't be surprised to learn

0:16:110:16:13

that that is a question from Rattus Rattus.

0:16:130:16:16

True or false - Egyptians invented the toilet seat.

0:16:160:16:21

Let's see your answers now, please.

0:16:210:16:23

Everybody thinks that's false.

0:16:230:16:25

Rattus, are they all right or are they all wrong?

0:16:250:16:28

It's true!

0:16:280:16:29

The toilet seat was made by cutting a hole in the middle of a stool,

0:16:290:16:32

so their own stool could drop down through the stool

0:16:320:16:35

into a box of sand!

0:16:350:16:37

Yeah, Rattus, too much detail.

0:16:370:16:39

No points awarded there and Katya, it's your turn to pick a topic.

0:16:390:16:42

The afterlife, please.

0:16:420:16:44

True or false -

0:16:440:16:46

when he died, the ancient Egyptian King Zur

0:16:460:16:49

had all of his servants given land and gold.

0:16:490:16:53

Let's see your answers now, please.

0:16:530:16:55

They're all in total agreement again, this is getting a bit spooky.

0:16:550:16:59

What's the answer?

0:16:590:17:00

It's false!

0:17:000:17:02

At King Zur's funeral 338 of his servants were killed,

0:17:020:17:05

so they could work for him in the afterlife.

0:17:050:17:08

Well, they should've read the small print in the contract.

0:17:080:17:10

They should've done that.

0:17:100:17:12

If I'd read the small print in mine,

0:17:120:17:13

I'd have found out that I was presenting with a talking rat.

0:17:130:17:16

Still, points all round there, lovely. We're all off the mark.

0:17:160:17:20

Matt, it's your turn to choose.

0:17:200:17:22

Ramesses II.

0:17:220:17:24

True or false -

0:17:240:17:26

when Pharaoh Ramesses II failed to win at the Battle of Kadesh,

0:17:260:17:30

he just pretended he had won.

0:17:300:17:32

Let's see your answers, please.

0:17:320:17:34

They're all in total agreement again.

0:17:340:17:37

This time, they all think it's true. What's the answer?

0:17:370:17:39

Well, it's true!

0:17:390:17:41

He built huge statues and temples commemorating his famous 'victory'.

0:17:410:17:45

Honestly, some people.

0:17:450:17:47

So if you don't win today,

0:17:480:17:50

just build a huge statue and pretend you did.

0:17:500:17:52

Well done, that's points all round again.

0:17:520:17:54

Look at that, it's two points apiece,

0:17:540:17:56

and this is the final question and it's going to be asked right now.

0:17:560:18:00

Is this true or false?

0:18:000:18:03

Answer that question now.

0:18:100:18:12

Katya and Matt still agreeing on true,

0:18:120:18:14

but Charlotte thinks that's false.

0:18:140:18:17

What is the answer?

0:18:170:18:18

It's true!

0:18:180:18:21

Excellent, Katya and Matt, well played, a point apiece there,

0:18:210:18:24

and that means we have a tie-breaker situation.

0:18:240:18:28

Beginning with the letter S,

0:18:300:18:31

what is the name for the huge statue

0:18:310:18:33

in the Egyptian desert...? Yes.

0:18:330:18:35

The Sphinx.

0:18:350:18:36

Katya says Sphinx. The full question was - beginning with the letter S,

0:18:360:18:40

what is the name for the huge statue in the Egyptian desert

0:18:400:18:43

of a lion's body with a man's face?

0:18:430:18:45

You're absolutely right, Katya, it was the Sphinx.

0:18:450:18:48

Help yourself to your first Year Sphere.

0:18:480:18:51

Everyone's got one, well done.

0:18:510:18:53

Katya, you've won the Egyptian quiz,

0:18:550:18:56

so you're through to play the Egyptian game,

0:18:560:18:59

but will you be playing on your own or will the others get to play too?

0:18:590:19:02

Let's find out.

0:19:020:19:04

It's a single-player scary game.

0:19:070:19:11

So take a deep breath

0:19:110:19:12

and get yourselves down that time sewer, Katya.

0:19:120:19:15

Whoo!

0:19:150:19:16

Be brave.

0:19:160:19:17

Having an amateur try their hand at mummification

0:19:190:19:22

would be a terrible idea,

0:19:220:19:23

so that's precisely what we're going to do.

0:19:230:19:26

It's time to play...

0:19:260:19:27

The embalmer who mummified this pharaoh

0:19:300:19:32

forgot to remove some organs.

0:19:320:19:34

Your challenge is to find and remove the stomach, liver,

0:19:340:19:37

intestines and lungs and put them in the correct Canopic jars.

0:19:370:19:41

The brain needs to be yanked out through the nose and binned,

0:19:410:19:43

and you'll also need to bin the bladder,

0:19:430:19:45

but the heart must be left inside the body.

0:19:450:19:48

Got it? Well, let's hope so, as your time starts now.

0:19:480:19:51

HORN HONKS

0:19:510:19:53

So here goes Katya with Mummify Me

0:19:530:19:56

and she's gone straight for the nose implement.

0:19:560:19:58

And I should warn you, this can be a bit graphic.

0:19:580:20:01

Oh, Rattus, that's going to smart a bit, isn't it?

0:20:010:20:04

-Ow.

-Hook up the nozzle, ouch.

0:20:040:20:07

Now, Rattus,

0:20:070:20:08

I'm not sure that's the whole brain,

0:20:080:20:10

that looks like a tiny piece of the frontal lobe,

0:20:100:20:12

but at least she's put it in the bin where it belongs.

0:20:120:20:16

-What do you think she's after now, Rattus?

-Er, well,

0:20:160:20:19

-certainly not a snake, Dave.

-Well, that is a snake,

0:20:190:20:21

I mean, that...that clearly shouldn't have been in there,

0:20:210:20:24

but, oh, my goodness me, she seems to be thinking

0:20:240:20:26

about what jar she's going to put that in, I think.

0:20:260:20:28

No, I've not actually seen intestines live and in the flesh,

0:20:280:20:31

but I'd imagine they don't look like that.

0:20:310:20:34

What's she going to do with it? In the bin. Yes.

0:20:340:20:38

I've never understood the point of bandaging a mummy,

0:20:380:20:41

it's not like they're going to get better, is it?

0:20:410:20:43

True indeed, Rattus,

0:20:430:20:44

slight misunderstanding,

0:20:440:20:45

but true nonetheless.

0:20:450:20:47

Now, that for me is the stomach, Rattus.

0:20:470:20:49

She's now checking which Canopic jar.

0:20:490:20:52

Very well done, that's textbook.

0:20:520:20:55

Dave, have you ever tried eating a stomach?

0:20:550:20:57

It's basically a meal within a meal. Delicious.

0:20:570:21:00

Now, what's this she's working on here?

0:21:000:21:03

-Oh, my goodness.

-Oh, it's the bladder!

0:21:030:21:05

-It's the bladder, it's weeing everywhere!

-It's got to be,

0:21:050:21:08

judging by the amount of wee.

0:21:080:21:09

Well, one thing we can learn here

0:21:090:21:11

is that that mummy must've died needing the loo,

0:21:110:21:14

because there was an awful lot of wee still in it.

0:21:140:21:17

Thank goodness for that.

0:21:170:21:18

Hopefully, that's the last we've seen of the bladder.

0:21:180:21:21

She's down in the intestinal area.

0:21:210:21:23

30 seconds remaining.

0:21:230:21:25

And now, it's the pulling game.

0:21:250:21:28

Like some grizzly tug-of-war, the mummy against Katya,

0:21:280:21:31

and goodness me, it's going on for ever.

0:21:310:21:33

There they all are.

0:21:330:21:34

Those have got to be stuffed into that jar, haven't they?

0:21:340:21:37

-Stuffed right in.

-Easier to pull them out than stuff them in, Dave.

0:21:370:21:40

Yes, and seconds are ticking away here.

0:21:400:21:42

I'm not sure if she's got time to be tangled up in guts,

0:21:420:21:45

she's still got the liver and lungs to go.

0:21:450:21:47

She can't take the heart, she wants the lungs.

0:21:470:21:50

-Lungs, lungs.

-Lungs, lungs.

0:21:500:21:51

Now she's found a liver, what was that doing up there?

0:21:510:21:55

Time's up.

0:21:550:21:56

-It's all over!

-It's all over!

0:21:560:21:57

Oh, what a shame!

0:21:570:21:59

Bad luck, bad luck, you got close, but you just ran out of time there.

0:22:000:22:05

Unfortunately, no Year Sphere.

0:22:050:22:07

So it's time for the final round and we go over to the Gory Grid

0:22:070:22:10

one last time to find out what we've got.

0:22:100:22:12

It's the Measly Middle Ages.

0:22:140:22:16

No quirky quiz in our final round,

0:22:170:22:19

so it's straight to our big all-play endgame.

0:22:190:22:23

Ooh! Does it have poo in it? Does it? Does it? Does it?

0:22:230:22:27

Yes, yes, yes, it's got poo in it.

0:22:270:22:29

Hurrah!

0:22:290:22:31

Get down that time sewer with the lot of you.

0:22:310:22:34

-Bye.

-Bye.

0:22:350:22:37

See you soon!

0:22:370:22:39

It's time to go...

0:22:390:22:41

You've all just got yourselves a job emptying cesspits. Congratulations.

0:22:430:22:47

You have to collect the gong from the pit,

0:22:470:22:50

carry it along your lane and slop it into your measuring cylinder,

0:22:500:22:53

and whoever collects the most gong,

0:22:530:22:55

gets themselves a Year Sphere.

0:22:550:22:57

Ready? Three, number twos, number one, go!

0:22:570:23:01

HORN HONKS

0:23:010:23:02

They're clean now, look at them, pristine,

0:23:020:23:04

but that's about to end

0:23:040:23:06

because they're off down to the other end of the lane,

0:23:060:23:08

where the poo awaits.

0:23:080:23:10

And look at that, that's terrific farming.

0:23:100:23:12

Now, oh, Katya's flying down that lane, that's incredibly quick.

0:23:120:23:16

Not that much poop delivered,

0:23:160:23:18

but that one, now that is what you call a full payload,

0:23:180:23:20

that is extraordinary.

0:23:200:23:23

Maybe Matt added to that halfway down his lane,

0:23:230:23:26

he could've had a secret poop into his own bag.

0:23:260:23:28

Oh! Katya's lost her footing already,

0:23:280:23:31

and you don't want to slip over in that, Rattus.

0:23:310:23:33

And here comes Matt again! Look at it! He's swimming in it!

0:23:330:23:36

There is poo everywhere, Rattus. You must be loving this!

0:23:360:23:40

Going to get me water wings on.

0:23:400:23:42

Yeah, get your water wings and get out there and enjoy it.

0:23:420:23:45

It's poo time, all day, particularly at the end of Matt's lane.

0:23:450:23:50

Look at this, look, watch how much it gives him here.

0:23:500:23:53

-Look at it, he's almost filled it!

-It's almost full!

0:23:530:23:56

This is ridiculous! He is amazing!

0:23:560:23:59

Some Middle Ages people wouldn't even bother with a cesspit,

0:23:590:24:02

they'd just poo directly onto the street.

0:24:020:24:04

Oh!

0:24:040:24:06

Oh! And there's some now, look at that.

0:24:060:24:08

30 seconds remaining.

0:24:080:24:11

Well, this is where it gets very, very slippery.

0:24:110:24:13

You don't tend to see much more gong

0:24:130:24:15

delivered after the huge poo deluge.

0:24:150:24:18

Time is ticking,

0:24:180:24:20

I think the girls are going to struggle to beat Matt now.

0:24:200:24:22

But oh dear me, Katya is all over the place here, oh, and so is Matt.

0:24:220:24:29

Oh, there's gong everywhere!

0:24:290:24:32

Oh, Charlotte there

0:24:320:24:33

making a valiant last stab to deliver some more gong,

0:24:330:24:36

but I think Matt's got this one in the bag! Literally.

0:24:360:24:39

Time's up.

0:24:390:24:40

Yes, it's all over, well, it's all over Katya,

0:24:400:24:43

it's all over Charlotte, well, it's all over all of them, to be fair,

0:24:430:24:46

and Matt has won that with an extraordinary amount of poo.

0:24:460:24:50

Welcome back, gong farmers, terrific work.

0:24:520:24:55

I'm glad to see you're all cleaned up.

0:24:550:24:57

The winner, with the most amount of gong farmed

0:24:570:25:00

in the history of the programme, was Matt.

0:25:000:25:03

Help yourself to another Year Sphere.

0:25:030:25:04

Remarkable, wasn't it Rattus, that?

0:25:040:25:06

It was, it was amazing, it was almost spilling over the top.

0:25:060:25:10

Right, now it's time to count up those Year Spheres

0:25:100:25:13

and remember, AD dates are added and BC dates are subtracted.

0:25:130:25:18

It's the moment of truth.

0:25:180:25:20

So, Katya, let's have a look at that first Year Sphere.

0:25:200:25:24

Oh, it's a good one, 1891 AD,

0:25:240:25:28

school was made free

0:25:280:25:29

for every child that year.

0:25:290:25:31

Matt, let's see what you can do.

0:25:310:25:33

1305 AD,

0:25:350:25:38

the execution of William Wallace was that year.

0:25:380:25:40

So it all hinges on what's in that second one, let's have a look.

0:25:400:25:43

Oh, it's 64 AD,

0:25:450:25:47

the Great Fire of Rome was that year.

0:25:470:25:49

That leaves you with a total of 1369,

0:25:490:25:53

which is not enough to beat Katya.

0:25:530:25:55

So, Charlotte, you've got 1891 to beat.

0:25:550:25:59

1845 AD,

0:26:010:26:04

the Great Potato Famine in Ireland.

0:26:040:26:07

That means you are currently

0:26:070:26:09

46 behind.

0:26:090:26:11

Let's have a look at that second one.

0:26:110:26:13

1099 AD! Fantastic.

0:26:140:26:18

The First Crusade was that year.

0:26:180:26:20

That means that, Charlotte,

0:26:200:26:22

you are today's winner with 2,944 points.

0:26:220:26:27

All that means, of course, that you have won the sort of prize

0:26:270:26:30

that will drive all your friends wild with jealousy,

0:26:300:26:34

providing, of course, that all your friends are into old junk

0:26:340:26:37

that's been fished out of the sewer.

0:26:370:26:38

What have you got for us today, Rattus?

0:26:380:26:40

Oh, it's a prize that's really full of heart,

0:26:400:26:44

because it's a heart wrapped in a poem!

0:26:440:26:48

Specifically, the heart of Georgian poet Percy Shelley,

0:26:480:26:51

whose wife kept it wrapped up in one of his poems when he died.

0:26:510:26:56

Well, a poem, you say.

0:26:560:26:57

The prize is a rotten old heart, about as welcome as a stinky...

0:26:570:27:02

RATTUS RATTUS FARTS

0:27:020:27:04

Well, my way would've rhymed.

0:27:040:27:05

-Anyway, there you go, Charlotte, congratulations.

-Thank you.

0:27:050:27:08

Keep a safe distance away from it.

0:27:080:27:10

Well done also to our runners-up, Katya and Matt,

0:27:100:27:14

who'll be taking a trip home that they will never forget,

0:27:140:27:17

because it's going to be so horrible.

0:27:170:27:19

Yes, I'm afraid we're flushing you two back down the time sewer.

0:27:190:27:22

Off you go.

0:27:220:27:23

Bye, Matt.

0:27:250:27:26

Bye, Katya.

0:27:280:27:29

I've been Dave Lamb, he has been Rattus Rattus...

0:27:400:27:43

And he's been Marcus the flea.

0:27:430:27:45

You've been watching Gory Games, goodbye.

0:27:450:27:47

-Say goodbye, Marcus.

-Goodbye.

0:27:470:27:49

# If mummies, rats and fleas Ain't your thing

0:27:490:27:53

# And you don't like the sound Of an exploding king

0:27:530:27:55

# If you're easily scared And don't laugh at poo

0:27:550:27:58

# Better turn off This show ain't for you

0:27:580:28:01

# Still watching? Then, let's test your brains

0:28:010:28:05

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

0:28:050:28:09

# Horrible Histories Gory...

0:28:090:28:11

# Games! #

0:28:110:28:12

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